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Field trips had never gone so hot for Percy.
It was probably a good thing he had left New York to come live with Dad because at the rate he was going, he was gonna be banned from all museums in the city by the age of sixteen.
It wasn’t his fault. Well, it mostly wasn’t his fault.
How was he supposed to know you can’t touch art on the walls or sit on statues or that he shouldn’t wander off at the zoo? (He’d somehow wound up inside the alligator exhibit—when he’d told the story to Dad though he changed it to flamingo exhibit because despite it being years before they’d ever met, he knew Dad well enough by now to realize he’d have a full on meltdown about alligators).
Okay, so maybe his track record with field trips was a tiny bit his fault.
But it was gonna be different here. He wasn’t gonna sit on anything that had a rope around it. He wasn’t gonna leave the group. He would be on his absolute best behaviour. At least, that was what Dad had been drilling into his head all week leading up to today’s trip.
Percy couldn’t be sure, but he suspected Dad only volunteered to be the parent chaperone at the aquarium today just to ensure that his warnings were heeded.
By the time they arrived at the school parking lot, there was already a crowd of kids and a few yellow school buses congregating for the field trip.
“Perseus.” With a hand on his shoulder, Dad stopped him from going over to the other students. He crouched down to be at eye level with Percy, putting his hands on Percy’s shoulders, securing him in place.
Percy bit back a sigh, glancing over his shoulder. All the other kids were lining up, getting ready to get on the bus. Grover, Annabeth, and Jason were waiting for him, watching him have a talk with his Dad. He thought it was kinda cool Dad was coming today because he knew tons about boats and marine life, so he was gonna be in his element at the aquarium, but he also kinda wished people wouldn’t like know they were there together, y’know? He didn’t need his classmates seeing him talking to his daddy like a baby.
“I know we’ve had a… less than ideal start to the day.” Dad winced, as if remembering the blowout fight over breakfast foods earlier. Look, it’s not Percy’s fault that Dad has weird opinions about what constitutes a decent first meal of the day. If Percy had it his way, he’d have a bowl of Lucky Charms and call it a day, but no that’s apparently an insane idea around Dad’s house. It was too much sugar and not a real breakfast (you see the nonsense arguments he’s putting up with?).
Anyway, Dad had made him have freaking oatmeal instead and then had the nerve to be all shocked when Percy expressed his displeasure. In Percy’s opinion, he had conducted himself with a lot more maturity and politeness than the situation deserved. But Dad had deemed it an attitude problem. The resulting argument had left them both in less than stellar spirits by 8am.
Dad cupped Percy’s cheek, thumb rubbing the skin. “Can we try to have a better time the rest of the day, guppy? Yeah?”
Percy shrugged noncommittally.
“Perseus.” A note of warning.
“Fine, fine, whatever.” Percy pulled his head back, shaking off Dad’s grip. “Can we go now?”
Dad pursed his lips, giving Percy a long look. Before he could press it further, Mr. Brunner gave a loud whistle, gaining everyone’s attention.
“We gotta get on the buses, come on already.” Percy stepped fully back, turning and heading quickly for the buses without waiting for Dad.
“Perseus, do not run through the parking lot.” Dad’s sharp command slowed his feet ever so slightly, taking him down to a brisk walk by the time he made it to his friends.
He joined up with Grover, Jason, and Annabeth, the latter of which was smirking. “I don’t wanna hear it.” Percy scowled at her, sensing she was about to open her mouth and make his morning even crummier.
Annabeth’s eyes widened innocently. “I didn’t even say anything, Perseus.”
Percy’s usual poor track record for field trips was holding up nicely.
But this time it really wasn’t even his fault.
Dad was making it his mission to be a massive pain in Percy’s ass today and ruin the whole field trip. And he was being very successful.
Every time Percy did something, Dad was waiting right there to tell him to knock it off. Percy and Jason try getting a better view of the shark tanks by climbing a teeny-tiny little ledge? Dad’s yanking them right down. Percy tries to just go look at an exhibit in another room? Dad’s dragging him right back, talking about staying with the group (boring). Percy tells his tour group a perfectly on topic innocent little ocean joke (why do mermaids wear seashells? because b-shells are too small and d-shells are too big!)? Dad’s taking him aside to have words. Spoiler alert: the words involved mostly consisted of “learn how to conduct yourself in public” on Dad’s end and “sorry” on Percy’s.
And then Dad was all surprised that Percy wasn’t in a super good mood with him the rest of the day?
Percy had tried avoiding him a little after his final behave yourself young man lecture. You couldn’t get in trouble if you weren’t around the big man in charge. But that’s how the situation wound up going from bad to worse.
Dad got assigned to watch one half of the aquarium cafeteria, keeping an eye on the kids sitting over there to make sure nobody was having too much fun. Sensing that this would be a good chance for a little break from the old man, Percy led his group of friends to sit pointedly on the far other side of the room right by the big indoor water fountains (it was shaped like a fish and had water shooting out its mouth into a pool below, prompting Percy and Jason to attempt to emulate the spitting fish and earning a lecture from Dad when they’d first arrived).
But now the spitting fish was out of Dad’s field of control, making it the best spot in the whole place. The only problem was they weren’t the only ones with this brilliant idea for solitude.
Nancy Bobofit and her own little group of minions came over and sat down right beside Percy and his friends, even though Percy was there first and had clearly claimed the area. But Nancy wasn’t exactly the kind of person to care about who was first and what was fair. She was a cut the line at lunch kinda person.
Nancy was, at her core, in her very heart and soul, fucking evil. He would tell Dad she was a real jerk, because he knew better than to say fucking evil out loud, but his head was free range to speak the truth—and the truth was that she was fucking evil.
They had taken one of those aptitude “what your future career should be” tests not too long ago in class (Percy had been told he did not have a strong aptitude towards “indoor, organized environments” which he could’ve told you without taking an hour long test). He was almost certain that Nancy’s had said she should grow up to be one of those witches that build gingerbread houses to lure kids in to eat. Or maybe a troll that asks you weird riddles to cross their bridge. Or maybe just go into business because Dad said all businessmen were secretly psychopaths. (He’d been looking right at Uncle Zeus when he said that, while they stood in a stuffy auditorium waiting for Uncle Zeus to accept an award for being the business-dude-of-the-year or whatever it was called).
But for right now, before Nancy could start her future career of terrorizing Metropolis or playing Godzilla in the next reboot, she was currently Percy’s problem.
And God, was she ever a problem.
Most days he just avoided her. They had a couple classes together where she would make it her life mission to roll her eyes every time Percy had to answer a question, or snicker when he inevitably got it wrong. But all in all, he didn’t have to interact with her too much. She sat on the other side of the cafeteria than him and his friends, and they thankfully had different gym classes and recess periods. So usually their scuffling was contained to glares across the room and snarky comments out the side of a mouth.
But unfortunately, they’d somehow wound up on the same field trip, on the same bus, in the same exact group, and now in the same spot in the cafeteria. Somehow the fates had aligned to royally screw Percy over once more.
It took less than a minute for Nancy to become her usual self. It started with her throwing raisins and nuts at him from the little pack of trail mix the aquarium had so helpfully provided.
Things escalated when Nancy decided to start making snide little comments. She went through her usual remarks (Grover walks funny; Jason’s short; everyone hates Annabeth; Percy is weird blah blah blah). But then she started in on Dad being the chaperone, and she must’ve seen something in his face when she went down that road because her eyes lit up and she really honed in.
Things got really heated when Nancy determined the only reason Dad came was because he didn’t trust Percy alone in public. Which was dumb because didn’t Percy go to school in public alone all the time? But trying to tell her that was useless.
Everything reached its peak when Percy told Nancy that she was just mad her parents don’t wanna go anywhere with her because she sucks. Nice? No. Accurate? Probably. Nancy got up, tossing her trail mix down and stomping over to get in Percy’s face, letting him know exactly how much (little) she thought of him.
The whole thing was finished when Percy knocked her into the fountain.
If you asked him to choreograph how exactly that moment happened, he wouldn’t be able to do it for the life of him. One minute, Nancy was standing in front of him with her dumb smug face, ready to throw another taunt his way, and the next thing he knew, she was submerged in the fountain that had once been right behind her, and Percy’s arms were up, his hands tingling from where he’d shoved her.
He had shoved her. Like full on, hands-gripping-her-ugly-teal-sweater-and-pushing shoved her.
Everybody was staring. His classmates looked shocked, jaws fully gaping open. Jason and Grover looked close to cheering, while Annabeth had this little impressed grin that made his tingling palms feel weirdly sweaty.
Mr. Brunner had made his way over faster than an old guy should’ve been able to and he was staring, although by the time Percy’s eyes landed on him he was already starting to call for security to help Nancy out.
And Dad.
Dad did not look impressed.
Whatever the opposite of impressed was? That was Dad right now.
He was no longer across the room, but had seemingly materialized right behind Percy, standing with Percy’s friends in the audience of his little mayhem. His mouth was pulled into a tight line, hands planted squarely on his hips, and eyes shooting fire in Percy’s direction.
“Oh shit, you really got her! Do it again!” Percy’s attention jumped to Jason, who was dramatically clapping like Percy had just starred in his new favorite play and he needed an encore. Percy was struck with the urge to take a bow, but Dad put a swift end to that.
Jason’s cheering snapped Dad out of his irate trance. He was standing beside Percy’s cousin, just within range of snagging Jason’s collar and giving him a mild shake, an ability he made good use of. “You knock that off right now, mister.” The harsh scold of his tone was clearly meant for Percy, but Percy was pretty a-okay with his cousin taking the initial brunt of it. If Jason could do a little more to distract from Percy right now, he would owe him big time. But unfortunately, Jason took his uncle’s advice and settled down, wisely choosing to step back out of grabbing distance.
Nephew dealt with, Dad turned and once more locked eyes with Percy. He stepped forward with sharp strides, coming right up to Percy. Instead of coming to a full stop once he’d reached Percy though, he simply snagged Percy’s ear (yes, his actual ear!) and started dragging him off.
Great.
One time last month, Percy had been playing outside the house with some friends when Dad had overheard him tell Jason to “fuck off.” (A perfectly normal thing to say to a friend, despite Dad’s psycho reaction). Dad had marched out of the house, grabbed Percy by the arm (right in front of everyone!), and hauled him inside where he’d actually washed Percy’s mouth out with a bar of soap. Disgusting. Mortifying. Worthy of losing Dad his “#1 Dad” mug Percy had gotten him for Father’s Day.
Up until right now, that had been the single most embarrassing thing that had ever happened to Percy.
But, Dad literally dragging him off by the ear? In front of all his classmates and teachers and any marine life eyeing them from the tanks? To be dealt with in private?
Nobody had ever been as humiliated as him. This had to be some sort of violation of his rights. Dad didn’t seem like he would be willing to explain what the Geneva Convention is right now, but Mr. Brunner had mentioned it before and Percy was pretty sure it meant Dad was gonna go to jail for this. And Percy wouldn’t even feel the tiniest bit bad for him.
Dad didn’t say anything, just led him (kidnapped him, really—security should probably have been trying to intervene right about now given Percy’s involuntary squawking) away from the crowded lunch area, down a windy hallway to the secluded family bathroom. Once inside, he locked the door and released Percy.
Percy was too busy focussing on rubbing his sore ear to realize his situation, but once his ear had stopped tingling he slowly started to notice how bad this was for him. Locked bathroom. Irate Dad. Misbehaving boy. Not a good recipe.
Still, despite the steam coming off Dad and his precarious standing here, Percy couldn’t help but exclaim, “What the hell?!”
“Excuse me?” Uh oh. Backtrack. Backtrack immediately.
But Percy wasn’t even listening to his own advice right now, face too flushed and ear too stingy. “You totally embarrassed me out there! What’s wrong with you?”
“What’s wrong with me?” Dad seemed genuinely baffled, like he had never before encountered someone with the nerve to stand there after all that nonsense and talk to him like this. But here was Percy, evidently full of nerve today.
“That’s what I said, isn’t it?”
When Percy was little and he would get worked up about something, Mom would always tell him to count to ten, breathing in on odd numbers and out on even, and then keep doing it until he calmed down. He had never been the biggest fan of this method, more of an act first then regret it later kinda guy. But standing here, restraint long gone and about ready to bite Dad’s head off, he considered if maybe Mom had had a point. Maybe if he’d breathed a little bit or counted or something, Dad wouldn’t be looking like he was about to have Percy hung, drawn, and quartered.
Dad didn’t say anything, which was weird in and of itself because there was nothing Dad loved more than to talk about things. But he did seem to be trying out Mom’s breathing exercises himself, sucking in long breaths through his nose and blowing them out slowly. Once Percy didn’t feel like punching something he’d have to ask if Mom had taught Dad that too.
Dad breathed for long enough that Percy almost thought that was it. They were just gonna stand in this bathroom forever, both seething and doing yoga breathing exercises. He wondered if eventually Mr. Brunner would send someone to find them once the buses were ready to go or if they would just be left behind.
But after a few rounds of counting, Dad’s hand shot out and grabbed Percy’s bicep, startling him enough to make him yelp.
“What–” Percy cut himself off when he was abruptly turned to the side, Dad’s hand landing sharply across the seat of his jeans once, then again.
“You,” Dad’s hand fell a third time, bringing Percy up onto his toes, “do not speak to me like that.” Another sharp swat made Percy suck in a breath between his teeth. “You do not behave like this. I. Will. Not. Tolerate. It.” Dad punctuated each word with his palm.
With that last volley, Dad released his arm, allowing Percy to reach back and rub his stinging backside. If Percy’s face got any redder, there was a solid chance he would look like that Kool-Aid Man. With a glance at the door, Percy shot up a prayer to whoever was listening that this bathroom was relatively sound proofed. He would never live it down if anyone had heard that, let alone one of his classmates.
“You–” Percy spluttered for a second, lost for words with the shock, “you can’t do that here!” he finally settled on.
Dad snorted (not a reassuring sound when Percy was trying to Take A Stand Here). “You can’t!” Percy insisted, stomping his foot before he could think better of it.
Dad raised an eyebrow, less than impressed with that. “If you can backtalk me and misbehave so egregiously here, then I can certainly spank your bottom for you right here and now. Just keep acting like that,” he gestured at Percy, as if to point out his scowl and balled up fists, “and we can make that little preview you just got into a full on show.”
Of all the awful words in that little threat (promise), preview was by far the most haunting.
“Someone could have heard!” Percy shot a meaningful look at the shut door.
Dad shrugged, not overly concerned with Percy’s dawning humiliation. “If you don’t want people hearing, then I suggest you stop shouting at me.”
Percy had been accused, on more than one occasion, by more than one teacher (and guidance counselor and principal and you get the picture) of being a frustrating person to argue with. He was, according to every parent-teacher conference ever held in his honor, a stubborn and headstrong boy, not likely to give in even to the most (allegedly) reasonable of arguments.
It was becoming very clear that he came by that trait honestly.
Making a considerable effort to lower his voice, Percy said between clenched teeth, “You’re embarrassing me.”
“You should be embarrassed by your behaviour, not the consequences of it.”
See, how was he supposed to reason with someone who was talking batshit nonsense like that?
Giving up on the reasonable route Percy once more stomped his foot. “Nancy started it so why the hell should I be the one having any consequences in the first place?”
“Do not speak to me like that, Perseus. I am done warning you to watch yourself.” Dad pointed a finger at him in a gesture Percy knew to be his I’m At My Wits End move. “While I’m sure Nancy was unkind, which I understand you being upset about, you were the one to turn the spat physical. I would imagine she will also be dealt with for her role in this debacle, and I will be discussing it with Mr. Brunner, but you are not in the clear here, young man. Her rudeness does not give you carte blanche to push her into a fountain. You know better than that.” Dad shook his head, looking like he still couldn’t quite believe Percy had done that. Honestly, Percy was still a little surprised with himself too, but it wouldn’t help to let Dad know that right now.
Instead, Percy gave his best moody eye roll and said, “Yeah, you’re right, I should’ve pushed her into the shark tank.”
Dad’s jaw clenched momentarily before he took another one of Mom’s long in-out breaths. When he spoke again, Percy wished he had just kept breathing a little longer because clearly he wasn’t calm enough yet to be rational, “You are getting a spanking the second we get home, young man.” He passed down his sentence like a judge might give someone the death penalty. Personally, Percy thought he would rather the electric chair right about now. He was certain it couldn’t hurt any worse. And at least he could pick, like, a milkshake as a last meal or something. But nope, his last meal today had been a cafeteria sandwich. And it had been mediocre at best.
“Dad!” Indignation made his voice high pitched. “No!”
Dad just shook his head. Percy didn’t think he’d ever seen him look more sure of anything before. “Yes. You, my boy, have bought yourself a good bare bottomed spanking.” Percy’s throat constricted, his stomach dropping to his toes. No, below his toes. Straight through the floor, through the dirt and rocks, all the way down down down to the center of the Earth. “I am going to make well and sure that this kind of behaviour never happens again. Honestly, I don’t know what’s gotten into you today, but it’s done right here and now.”
“Nothing’s gotten into me.” Tears felt thick in the back of Percy’s throat, signaling their imminent, treacherous appearance.
Looking like he couldn’t disagree more, Dad frowned. “You just pushed another student into a fountain and have spent all day giving me sass. If this is your new baseline then you must have been replaced by a pod person.” Well when you put it like that, it didn't sound like his very best behaviour. But still–
“I haven’t been giving you sass.” Percy bristled, with more than a fair amount of sass if he were to be honest with himself.
Dad snorted, crossing his arms and leaning back against the bathroom sink. “You’ve been far sassier than you know I’ll put up with. If you can’t see that then it seems like I’m just going to have to spank that sass right out of you, mister.”
And there were the tears. Starting to dribble out of the corner of Percy’s eyes, down his cheeks, tickling his chin. He knew he hadn’t exactly been on his best behaviour today (okay, maybe he’d been on his worst behaviour), but he still couldn’t help feeling like Dad was just being plain mean right now.
How the hell was he supposed to deal with knowing what was waiting for him when they got home? He was just supposed to ride the bus back to school, play nice with his classmates the whole time, all while knowing it was the last time he’d sit for a long time? Dad was like some mean oracle, telling him shit nobody needed to hear.
“Daddy…” Percy wished his voice didn’t quiver as much as it did. “I’ll be good, I promise. I won’t be rude. And I won’t push anyone else into fountains. Or anything else.”
Dad seemed unfortunately amused by his heartfelt promises. “Well I should think you won’t get another chance to push someone into a fountain today. I’m fairly certain security will be keeping our group far away from any of those.”
“Still…” Percy sniffled, the sound echoing off the bathroom walls, “I’ll be good now.”
“Perseus…”
Percy wiped at his cheek with the back of his hand while Dad scrubbed his own hand over his face, smoothing out the lines on his forehead with the movement. “Sweetheart,” he sounded softer, thank god, “I hope that will be the case. But you’ve already caused enough trouble today that no amount of good behaviour from here on out will undo.”
Percy turned his head so he didn’t have to look at Dad anymore. Although the only other place to stare was at their reflections in the mirror, so not much better.
He watched as Reflection Dad stepped closer to him, crouching down to Percy’s eye level. Two big warm hands came to rest on him, one on his shoulder, the other cupping the side of his turned face. His thumb wiped away one of the stray tears from the corner of Percy’s eye. “We’ll discuss this more at home, my darling. But for now it’s time to go apologize to Mr. Brunner and the museum security. I would imagine our group is going to be leaving for the buses shortly.” Percy didn’t miss that Nancy wasn’t included in his apology tour, so maybe Dad wasn’t feeling like being the absolute cruelest person alive right now. Just a close second.
Apologizing to museum security had sucked. The guard that had fished Nancy out of the fountain—whose sneakers were still making little squelching noises and leaving a wet trail wherever he walked—had been less than accepting of Percy’s mumbled sorry. At Dad’s not-so-subtle prodding, Percy had thought to add a really really in front of another sorry, but it hadn’t seemed to help. Go figure, some people just wanna be grumpy sometimes.
The apology to Mr. Brunner had been even more painful.
Mr. Brunner had been capital-D-Disappointed in Percy and hadn’t made an effort to conceal it. He’d frowned and told Percy that he appreciated his willingness to accept responsibility for his actions but that his behaviour had been far from acceptable. Then he went on about the history of decorum in wars and a bunch of other stuff that Percy just pretended to understand.
By the time his lectures were through, the buses had arrived to bring them back to the school. Percy attempted to make his way to the back of the bus once more, but Dad snagged his sleeve and pulled him to sit in the seat beside him. Great. He got a new seat buddy.
Percy’s friends boarded the bus, giving him sorry dude looks as they spotted his new seat. Not sorry enough to join him, but still sorryish.
“Jason.” Dad’s sharp voice made Percy wince, glad it wasn’t directed at him for once today.
Jason stopped in his tracks, giving Dad what Percy knew by now to be his faux-innocent expression. Dad must’ve known that look too because he just snorted derisively and nodded his head at the seat across the aisle from him and Percy.
Frowning, Jason took another small step towards the back of the bus.
“Don’t you dare.” Dad physically pointed at the seat he intended to be Jason’s.
Percy thought Jason may argue, but the people lining up behind him must’ve made for an unwanted audience, because Jason just sighed heavily and threw himself down on the indicated bench. Percy almost felt bad that he was clearly still on Dad’s shit list for cheering, but honestly spreading around Dad’s wrath sounded pretty good right about now.
Annabeth and Grover were the only ones not victims of Dad’s seating arrangement, and they didn’t seem keen on putting themselves closer to Dad’s wrath just for Percy and Jason. They moved swiftly to the back of the bus, giving Percy and his cousin sympathetic glances on their way by. Percy couldn’t blame them; if he could flee too right now he would go in a heartbeat.
Nancy was last on the bus, still sniffling and shivering dramatically. One of the teaching aides was leading her in, all wrapped in some blanket they must’ve got at the gift shop. The aide looked more sympathetic than Nancy had ever deserved, especially when she was shooting Percy smirks like that. Seriously, how could nobody see through her bull? It was a shallow fountain in Florida. It was warm, she was fine.
At least Dad seemed to notice her stupid faces. He wrapped an arm over Percy’s shoulders, giving him a little squeeze, and Percy didn’t even mind that it was a babyish gesture.
The drive back sucked. He could hear people having fun in other parts of the bus, but the section being ruled over by Dad was nothing but heavy silence.
The drive home wasn’t anymore cheerful. Dad actually smacked his hand away when Percy tried turning on the radio (forgive him for trying to lighten the mood with a little pop-rock).
Once home, Percy kicked his shoes off fast enough to fling them into the opposing wall. He dropped his backpack in the middle of the floor, halfheartedly hoping it would be an obstacle for Dad to trip over, giving him enough time to make his escape. But, apparently Dad was some sorta gymnast now because he just stepped delicately over the bag, calling out to freeze Percy in his attempt to flee upstairs.
“Hold it, Perseus.” Percy turned slowly, halfway up the stairs. Dad crooked two fingers in his direction. “Come back down here, please, my love. We are not finished discussing this.”
Discussing felt like a misleading word here.
Feeling like he was signing his own death warrant, Percy trudged back down the stairs and to the living room. He flopped down to sit on the couch, prepared for the long haul.
Dad had two speeds of discussions: a Short Boring Lecture or a Long Boring-er Lecture. While both sucked, Long Boring-er Lectures were of course the worst, considering they were almost always followed by Percy staring at the floor while his butt got whacked.
This seemed like it was gearing up to be a Long Boring-er Lecture.
Dad sat down across from him on top of the coffee table, resting his forearms on his thighs and leaning forward. “Talk to me, Perseus. Why did you think pushing a girl into a fountain was a good idea?”
“To be fair, I didn’t really mean for her to go in the fountain. It just happened to be right behind her.”
“Pushing her onto the ground wouldn’t have been any better.” Dad sounded like he wasn’t 100% sure Percy knew that but was keeping his fingers crossed that he did.
“Dad, come on,” Percy sighed, “it was Nancy. It’s not like I just knocked some random girl down. You know how awful she is.”
“Perseus,” aaaaand here it comes, the Long Boring-er Lecture was commencing, “I know we have discussed Nancy before.” Yes. Many many times. In fact, just about every time Percy had gotten a note sent home from school addressed to Dad regarding his behaviour it had in some way involved Nancy. And he never started it! Well, almost never. Like 70-30. “So I know that you’re aware of how I expect you to behave. While her being rude to you is not acceptable, your responsibility is to inform an adult and leave the situation. You know not to escalate it with violence.”
Dad paused, giving Percy an expectant look. Percy wasn’t totally clear on the expected answer here so he gave a hesitant, “Yes?”
Not the right answer. Or not the right tone. Because Dad breathed in deeply through his nose, like Percy was causing him pain right now. “Yes, you do know not to use violence, Perseus. You have not been brought up to hurt someone, certainly not when they haven’t struck you first.” A petty part of Percy really wanted to say that maybe he had in fact been brought up to hit first, that Dad didn’t really know him or how Mom had raised him all that well. Maybe he was gonna be the kind of person that swung on people. But the idea made him feel a little nauseous, so he kept his mouth shut. Instead he just fiddled with a loose string on his sweatshirt, hoping Dad would take his silence as remorse.
Dad leaned back, cocking his head and eyeing Percy. “You don’t regret pushing her, huh?”
Percy’s eyes shot to him. Busted. “She’s not nice to me.” he said slowly, cautiously.
“She’s never nice to you.” Dad’s bluntness almost made Percy laugh. “Why was it different this time? You’ve never hit her before.”
When Percy shrugged, Dad tutted in response like a little old lady. “Come now, Perseus. Why was today different?”
“I don’t know, okay?” Percy huffed, slumping further on the couch. “I was having a crappy day all day long and she just made it worse. She made me all mad and I just shoved her without thinking about it.”
Dad leaned forward, giving Percy’s knee a squeeze. “I know you’ve had a bad day, and I’m sorry that she made your life more difficult. If you had shouted back at her or used your words in some way, we would not be having this discussion right now. But you chose to push her.”
Percy filed away for future reference that it was okay for him to use his words against Nancy. He’d be sure to use them liberally in the future.
“You could’ve really hurt her, Perseus. And I know you would’ve felt bad if that had happened.” Dad’s lips twitched when Percy pulled a face. “Well, eventually you would’ve felt bad about it.”
Would he have felt bad? He didn’t feel bad that she had fallen in the fountain. The sight of her all drenched, looking as pissy as a cat getting a bath was one he wanted to remember forever. If only someone had taken a picture of it. Maybe the museum had security cameras he could get access to? That image would make a nice picture in the class yearbook.
But, to Dad’s credit, Nancy hadn’t been hurt. It was funny because she had just been mad, but maybe it would’ve been less funny if she had cracked her head or if the water had been deeper. Percy remembered what it had felt like to almost drown when he fell off a boat at a family party this past summer. Feeling like you couldn’t get your head enough above the water, worried you were going to bang into something and drown. No, that hadn’t been so funny. He didn’t want that picture in a yearbook.
A throat clearing jerked Percy’s attention back to Dad. “I promised you a serious spanking for this, Perseus. Because fighting, hitting someone when it’s not in self-defense, that’s a very serious thing to do. Do you understand that?”
Understand? Sure, technically. Accept? Hell no.
But Dad had asked about understanding, so Percy just nodded.
“Alright, darling.” Dad clapped his hands together, looking chagrined when the noise was probably louder than expected, making them both jump. He stood from the coffee table, moving to sit beside Percy on the couch. “Up you go.” The hand patting Percy’s back felt less helpful and more prodding.
His legs had decided that becoming jelly would be a good use of their time, so Percy swayed slightly when he stood up. Dad caught his hips, pulling him to stand between his knees. When Dad’s hands moved to Percy’s fly, Percy made a distressed sound and tried to pull back.
“Dad! No!”
“Yes.” Dad’s grip tightened, not letting Percy escape more than an inch. “I’m certain you remember me promising that you’d be getting this punishment on your bare backside.” Well yeah but he hadn’t thought Dad was being serious about that!
“But you never do that!” Percy grabbed onto Dad’s wrists, trying to prevent him from fully undoing his jeans. But Dad’s hands were shockingly strong (or Percy’s shockingly weak) and he managed to easily have Percy’s pants unbuttoned and dropped down around his ankles with a swiftness that probably couldn’t be replicated.
Dad spoke loudly to be heard over Percy’s high-pitched whines, voice irritatingly calm, “I know you’re unhappy with this, but I’m unhappy as well, my love. I’m very unhappy with your behaviour today, and I think you need to realize just how serious I am about you never repeating it.”
Without waiting for Percy to let Dad know that he was already very very aware of how serious he was, Dad bent Percy across his lap. The familiar carpet came into view. It was nice and plush, good to sit on when he played video games, but he quietly hated it because it was always stuck in his line of sight at times like these.
The horrifying feel of his underpants being pulled down to his knees pushed his desperation to a new level. “Dad! Don’t do that!” Percy bent his legs, trying to use his own foot to shield his now bare ass. There was a stupid draft in the room, leaving a chill across his skin that he was sure would be burned away soon enough.
“You should just be glad I didn’t think this warranted breaking out the hairbrush. Behave yourself, or that can change.” Behave himself? He was about to be getting his ass handed to him; how exactly was someone supposed to behave during that?
But Dad didn’t seem to think he needed further clarification on that issue. The loud clap that echoed through the room was quickly followed by a small gasp from Percy, and then a larger, louder one when Dad didn’t let up.
It never stopped being an unpleasant surprise just how quickly (and thoroughly) Dad managed to turn his butt into a stinging nightmare. Percy went from all fine and dandy to feeling like he’d sat on a barbeque in thirty seconds flat.
“That really hurts!” He had to point it out, just on the off chance that Dad wasn’t aware. Maybe he thought it only hurt a moderate amount? In that case, he needed to know that we’d passed level 5 ages ago and were well on our way to a solid 8.5 on the ouch-scale.
“You know what else hurts?” Dad’s lack of surprise by the news of his asses really hurts status was not super comforting. “What also hurts is someone bashing their head in when they fall into a stone fountain. Or someone drowning in several feet of water. Or being responsible for any of those things happening. That really hurts.”
Being responsible for any of those things actually would undoubtedly hurt a lot less than his ass right now—it’d probably be more like a 4 on the ouch-scale. But Percy’s stellar intuition told him that wouldn’t be helpful to point out.
“I know!” Percy agreed instead, because he was capable of acquiescing when the time called for it no matter what anyone said.
“I’m very glad you know. I hope this lesson helps you remember that the next time someone upsets you.”
This lesson was worse than any math class he’d ever forcibly taken. Hopefully he really would remember it better than any of the stuff taught in those math classes too. Summer school for ass whooping wouldn’t be a blast.
“I’ll remember! I’m remembering right now, honest!” Dad normally didn’t like when Percy added ‘honest’ at the end of a statement (“if you were actually being honest you wouldn’t need to tell me that you were being honest, Perseus”) but he seemed to let it slide this one time.
“That’s good, I hope you remember this for a while afterwards too.” Dad tilted him forward, ensuring that a while afterwards would come true as he scorched Percy’s as-yet-untouched thighs.
Percy wailed loudly at that, letting it reach a level that hurt even his ears. One of these days he was gonna manage to crack a window and shatter some glass with the octave he could reach. Maybe if he blew up that ugly crystal vase Dad liked then he could startle Dad enough to let him escape.
He kicked his feet, drumming them against the couch cushion, tempo matching the pace of Dad’s hand. The kicking probably didn’t do much to alleviate the burn or stop Dad from adding to it, but it felt productive at least.
Dad paused, hand coming to rest against Percy’s backside. He squirmed, wanting that warm reminder gone, but that only earned him another sharp smack so he stilled. “I want to be very clear, Perseus. None of your behaviour today was acceptable and I will not be tolerating it again. You spent the day being disrespectful, disobedient, and then you topped it all off with violence. The next time that happens, I won’t wait to get you home before disciplining you; you’ll be getting spanked right then and there, young man.”
Half of Percy wanted to let Dad know that if he was yanking Percy’s pants down to smack his butt in public, someone was gonna get arrested for indecent exposure (and Percy would not be bailing him out!). But the smarter half, the half of him that sounded like Annabeth sometimes, was mostly focussed on making sure that never ever happened.
Dad’s hand left his bottom again before coming back down ever sharper than before. He did that five times, each one causing a fresh waterfall of tears to dribble down Percy’s face, landing on the couch pressed under his cheek.
He stopped again, hand leaving Percy’s backside entirely this time (thank god). The feeling of Percy’s underwear being tugged back up in place rubbed the sore skin of his ass just enough that Percy wanted to forgo all modesty and walk around bare assed the rest of the evening. But while Dad was cool with swim trunks and flip flops being the attire of choice around the house, he likely wasn’t about to let that extend to a full naked beach policy. Percy’s jeans though had thankfully been kicked far away in his flailing, landing halfway across the room in a pile on the floor, so he didn’t have to deal with denim on his ass right now at least.
His head swam a little as he was picked up and turned right side up. Dad always made him sit on his lap after a butt-kicking like it was some sort of written in stone law he couldn’t dare break. But Percy wasn’t exactly advocating for that rule to be repealed.
Dad leaned against the back of the couch cushions, pulling Percy with him. He settled with his ass blessedly dangling slightly off Dad’s lap, alleviating any pressure on it. The warm palm that rubbed his back made him shiver and press his face closer into Dad’s shirt. It still smelled a little bit like the aquarium, although that wasn’t too dissimilar to the saltwater smell that often clung to Dad.
They sat in a comfortable stretch of silence for a minute, both breathing a little harder than normal. Percy knew his breathing was from him trying to quit his bawling, but Dad’s was a mystery.
Dad eventually broke the silence, sounding like he’d been thinking on something for a while. “Have I told you how much I love you lately, my darling?”
Percy snorted, tilting his face so Dad could properly see his eye roll. “Like five times this morning alone.”
Dad’s eyes widened, an exaggerated look of horror forming. “Only five times? Really?” He shook his head. “Well my apologies, I’ll have to rectify that.” The last of Percy’s hitched breathing turned into a shriek of laughter as Dad started dramatically kissing his hair and face. “I love you.” He kissed his temple. “I love you.” His forehead. “I love you.” He blew a raspberry against Percy’s cheek.
“I got it, I got it, knock it off already.” Percy giggled, attempting to hide his head against Dad’s chest.
“Good. Don’t you go forgetting it.” Percy’s hair was mussed up as Dad ran a hand through it.
They fell back into silence until Percy broke it this time. “Hey Dad?”
“Hmm?”
“I love you too.” He said it shyly, blushing a little. He was really glad his friends weren’t around to hear him admit to something so embarrassing as loving his Dad.
“Ahh, that’s very good to know.” Dad cupped the back of his head, scratching gently at his scalp.
“I love you,” Percy continued on, “but you’re never allowed to be a chaperone again.”
Dad laughed, jostling Percy into falling slightly off his lap, his ass rubbing less than pleasantly against the couch cushion. “Oh? Never?”
“Nope. Never.”
“What if I promise to be very good and cool next time?”
Percy shook his head, ignoring the teasing tone. “Nuh uh. And you’re on thin ice about getting to go to all other school functions too, mister.” He did his best mimic of Dad’s own sternest tone.
Dad grinned, wrapping an arm around Percy’s waist once more and pulling him closer. “I’m on thin ice, huh? I’ll show you thin ice.” His fingers wiggled against Percy’s sides, tickling him.
“Nooo!” Percy laughed, rolling away. “You’re breaking the ice!” He managed to dodge Dad’s next swipe for him, making a break for it.
“You better run, you imp!”