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Tommy had loved looking at the stars growing up as a kid. He would often ask his mother if he could camp out in the backyard and watch them for hours. Often it was something his dad would let him get away with, if only because he thought Tommy was doing what boys do and camp out.
If anything, Tommy would spend hours getting lost in looking at the sky and imagining that he was a shooting star, flying away from everything in existence. When he got to the army, he would spend nights while flying looking out and letting the stars guide him, making him feel safe despite where he was located.
As he got older and moved to LA, it was harder to see the stars at night. Plus with his hours as a firefighter, it wasn’t like he could always go out and lay in the grass to try to spot them. He had gone up to the roof a couple of times at the 118, but never got to enjoy it for long before the bell would ring.
When he started dating Evan, they would spend all their time together, and he never thought to take him out stargazing. It was just something Tommy always did by himself. Going stargazing wasn’t something he thought he could share until after they broke up and he drove out to the mountains and lay in the back of his truck. He had been looking up at the sky, not realizing he had tears in his eyes until he thought to himself, “I want to share this with Evan.”
He had been such a coward.
Months later, they were back together and Tommy was learning that he could share himself with Evan. Still, finding a night where they could go stargazing was something that he had to practically schedule based on when they were working.
Luckily, one weekend was coming up where they had 48 hours off, so Tommy decided he wanted to do this one thing with Evan. He told his boyfriend to pack a bag for the weekend and prepared for a short getaway. It wasn’t like they’d be going far, but if they were doing this, might as well make a date trip out of it.
They drove up to the Air BnB he had rented and after getting settled, Tommy told Evan they were going out to dinner.
“Uh, where? I don’t know if I packed my best shirt.”
Tommy chuckled and kissed him. “Don’t worry, what you’re wearing is fine. We’re not eating at a restaurant.”
“Okay,” Evan raised an eyebrow but followed along. Once they got their food, Tommy drove up the same mountainside where he had previously come so long ago, when he first allowed himself to realize what a big mistake he had made.
He parked the truck and got out, walking to the back to show Evan the blanket and pillows he had set up. “I thought it’d be nice to look at the stars while we ate?”
Evan’s eyes lit up and he nodded his head, eagerly getting in. “Wow, Tommy, this is amazing. I’ve always wanted to do this.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. During my travels, back before I moved to LA, sometimes I’d camp out and look at the stars. It always felt kind of lonely not doing it with someone else. So this is a dream come true.”
Tommy could feel his heartbeat quicken, realizing that this was something they both loved and he didn’t realize it. He got in and they began eating, with Evan looking around and pointing out constellations.
“Good, I’m glad. Stargazing was always my favorite thing to do as a kid. Living in LA doesn’t always make it easy, but when I get a chance, I come out here and just watch the stars.” He looked at his boyfriend, smiling at the soft look on his face as he looked up.
“Did you know that certain constellations may only appear during different seasons?”
Tommy shook his head. “No, I didn’t.”
“It’s pretty cool. So right now, we’re more likely to see Orion than Pegasus.”
Tommy smiled, leaning back on his elbows as he looked up at the sky. “Tell me more about what you know.”
As he listened to Evan continue talking, he felt relief that he finally shared this with him. It was special and now that he knew Evan also liked it, it made things even better. Tommy wanted to continue doing things like this with him.
“Tommy?”
Looking up, Tommy smiled. “Hey, sorry. Got lost in thought.”
Evan leaned down to kiss him. “Thanks for setting this up, Tommy. How long have you been coming to this spot?”
Tommy looked around before sighing softly, not wanting Evan to figure out the timing. “On and off for about ten months.”
Evan seemed to take a beat before he took Tommy’s hand, squeezing it in his own. “Maybe we can make a point to do it together? If you want to, I mean.”
“I do. Evan, I’ve been wanting to do this with you for a long time. We’ve been working through things and I’ve been opening up more than I did before. And this? This is probably the most open I’ve felt in a long time. And you did this for me.”
Evan’s hand came up to caress his face. “You did it for yourself too, baby.” He kissed him before moving his empty takeout container so he could lie down, pressing his head against Tommy’s chest.
Tommy’s arms came up to wrap around him as they continued looking up at the night sky.