Chapter Text
It was another ordinary day at Peach Creek. The air was crisp and there was barely a cloud in the sky. School had just been released for the weekend with several students making their way out of the local middle school. The chatter of the students matched the chirpings of the birds in the trees.
"I don't believe this!" Eddy complained to his best friends. "Principal Antooucci is giving me a week's worth of detention! And all because of that sleezebag Kevin!"
"To be fair, Eddy, you did instigate the event by goading him." Double D readjusted his hat.
"Silly Double D. Kevin doesn't have goats." Ed replied, off in his own little world as usual.
"Who's side are you even on, anyway?" Eddy shoved the detention notice into his backpack. "You know just as well as I do that Kevin started it. He's the one that flung the first meatball."
The three turned towards the cul-de-sac.
"Yes, but you also chucked a whole pizza at him, causing a full blown food fight." Double D reminded him.
"Oh, come on. He was totally asking for it." Eddy rolled his eyes.
Their conversation was interrupted by a faint noise.
"You say something, Double D?"
"That wasn't me." He shook his head. "Ed?"
"Nope. I've got nothing."
The three heard the noise again. It wasn't far from where they were positioned. It got louder the further they travelled through the alleyway.
"It's probably just a stray cat or something. Right, buddy?" Eddy tried to appear more macho than he actually was.
"Or it's the Crypt Keeper!" Ed recalled a movie he had rewatched on TV recently.
"Shh!" Double D hushed the other two Eds, trying to decipher the noise. Strangely enough, it sounded like crying.
"Someone might be hurt!" Double D realized. "We've got to help them!"
"Alright, Mr. Goody Two Shoes. You do it, then." Eddy shoved Double D further down the way.
"Aren't you coming with me?"
"And risk getting abducted by some psycho killer in a white van? No thanks." Eddy shook his head.
"No Jeffs or Jasons for me, Double D!" Ed declared.
Fine. If that's the way it was going to be, then he would go solo. With a huff, he continued forward with the investigation. The cry got louder, but it reached its max volume once he came towards a dumpster. By the side of it, he found a box with a dirty pink blanket over it. Just as he thought there wasn't anything worth investigating, the blanket began to move. Double D felt his arms and legs shake. He knew that something was under there, but what?
With his eyes tightly shut and head turned away, he slowly lifted up the blanket.
The cries became clear to him now. Once Double D finally got the courage to look at what it was, his jaw dropped.
"Gentlemen...! You may want to look at this...!"
"Do we have to?"
"Yes!"
Begrudgingly, the other two Eds reunited with the genius of the trio.
"So what's so important that you... Huh?"
That's when Double D turned around. In his arms was a crying baby with curly blonde locks.
"It's a baby!" Ed shouted.
"No shit, Sherlock." Eddy rebutted.
"Guys, please! You're scaring her." Double D tried to shush them.
"'Her'? How do you know it's a chick?" Eddy asked.
"Judging by the onesie and blankets, that's my hypothesis anyway." Double D continued to rock the baby in order to get her to calm down. "There, there, little one. It's okay. You're not alone anymore."
That settled down her wails somewhat.
"Who would just leave a baby out here anyway?" Eddy asked.
"I don't know, but I doubt that her parents just left her here for no reason." Double D shook his head.
"Well then, let's just dump her at the police station. We might even get some sweet moolah out of it." Eddy's eyes were filled with dollar signs.
"Eddy! We shall do no such thing!" Double D reprimanded. "We can't just leave her all alone! We found her, so she's our responsibility!"
"'We'?" Eddy raised a brow. "Since when was there a 'we'? You're the one that found her in a box."
"Oh please, please, please, please, pleeeease can we keep her Eddy?" Ed was now begging on his knees. "I promise I'll help with diapers and toys and Halloween and Christmas and Easter and Thanksgiving!"
"We don't even know where the little tyke came from." Eddy pointed at the still crying infant. "For all we know, she could be the child of traffickers. Or drug lords. Or IRS agents."
"Eddy, stop it! She's going to be under our care and that's final!" Double D laid down the law.
By then, the baby had already stopped crying and was eyeing him curiously.
"In that case, she's staying at your place." Eddy said. "Your parents probably won't even notice anyway."
That was more true than he wanted to admit.
"Fine by me." Double D nodded. "But we should also come up with a name for her. Since she'll be one of us now, I think it would be fitting if her name were to start with an E. How about Evelyn?"
"Evelyn? That's such an old granny name." Eddy objected. "That kid's definitely an Elise."
"At least it's better than Evelyn. What about Erica?"
The two began to bicker over E starting names. Ed simply looked back to back between the boys. His gaze then turned to the baby, who's bright big blue eyes met his.
"Emma."
Double D and Eddy looked to the tallest Ed.
"Huh?"
"Emma. Her name is Emma." Ed nodded. "Because I said so."
The two looked at each other.
"Sounds good to me." Eddy shrugged.
"I think it's a perfectly suitable name for her, Ed." Double D smiled.
"Welcome to the Eds, then, Emma." Eddy talked to the baby. "Just to be clear, I'm the one who's in charge of this whole operation."
Emma gave a coo, as if to say 'okay'.
"Now that that's out of the way, let's take you home. First, you'll get a nice warm bath and then something to eat. I bet you're just famished after the experience you've probably had." Double D chatted with Emma as the boys made their way to his place.
Eddy hoped that this wouldn't come bite them all in the ass later.
Luckily, Double D still had some lavender scented bath mix under the sink in the bathroom. Ed and Eddy hung out in the door frame as Double D got the tub filled up to a suitable level for Emma. He dunked a hand in, the temperature now just right.
"Towel?"
"Check."
"Spare shirt?"
"Check."
"Cloth diaper?"
"Check."
"Good. Now let bath time commence."
Once Emma's bottom half was submerged, she started giggling. Who knew she was such a fan of bubbles?
"I want to help!" Ed insisted.
"Okay, just be gentle with her." Double D allowed it.
Ed dabbed a bit of shampoo onto Emma's scalp and began to lather. He even made her a fake beard out of the bubbles, which made her laugh. When some shampoo ended up in her eyes, Ed carefully took a washcloth and wiped them softly.
"There you go, little chick."
"Who knew Ed was such a Mother Hen..."
All that time around Sarah must have paid off.
As the rest of Emma got clean, her stomach began to rumble. The bath ended soon after, and she found herself being taken downstairs into the kitchen after she was dressed.
"I'm going to make her a bottle. Can you two watch her for a bit?" Double D asked as he took out the milk and a pot.
"You bet your britches, Double D!"
Eddy simply leaned back against the wall. Babies. What good were they anyway? All they do is eat, sleep, and poop. They can't even talk.
Ed had soon gotten into the rhythm of playing peek-a-boo with Emma in the living room. So far, he appeared to be her favorite out of the three boys.
"Where's the baby? There she is!"
Another precocious laugh.
Eddy thought it was sickening.
"Alright, it's ready!" Double D called from the kitchen.
Ed picked up Emma and brought her to Double D. Emma reached for him, ready to take in the freshly made bottle.
"Here you go, sweetheart. You must be hungry." Double D began to feed her.
And hungry she was. The bottle was already empty before they all even knew it. Double D then changed her position so that she could be burped.
"Are you sure you don't wanna take her to the cops?" Eddy asked once again.
"I'm positive, Eddy." He nodded.
It seemed like nothing would get him to budge on the matter.
"Okay, but what'll you do once school starts back up? You can't exactly leave a baby alone for eight hours."
"You just let me take care of that."
Eddy wasn't sure what he meant by that, but decided not to press the matter any further.
Emma then let out a burp so loud, it startled even Eddy. She then yawned and leaned against her savior.
"Looks like it's time for a nap."
The three boys stared at each other.
"Do you mind?"
"Oh! Right."
Ed gave Emma a kiss on the forehead. "See you tomorrow, Emma."
"Yeah... What he said."
With that, the two left his home. It was now just her and Double D. He rubbed her back as he brought her upstairs. He would allow her to sleep on his bed as he got today's homework done. Luckily, it didn't take her long to drift off once she was settled.
Double D couldn't help but smile.
He would be better than them.
That was a promise.