Archive of Our Own ^beta

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It takes a while to get used to the sensory overload. The sounds, the colours, the scents. But it's beautiful. It's all so beautiful.

Una squeezes La'an's hand. 'I'm glad we came.'

La'an snorts, but smiles. 'You only agreed because Joseph couldn't let it go.'

'Traumatic childhoods half in hiding don't leave much room for tending gardens.'

La'an skims her thumb along Una's. 'True. Airponics just isn't the same.'

They wander through the beds, blooming and blossoming, flowers and fruit trees and…

Una bends down, pulling La'an with her. She reaches between a small clutch of white flowers. 'Look. Strawberries.'

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Joseph raises an eyebrow. 'She's been working hard with me. Pushing her limits. Make sure she takes it easy on you.'

Una rolls her eyes and pats him on the shoulder as she walks past him. 'I'll keep that in mind, Doc.'

She adjusts the wraps around her hands as she walks down the corridor to the combat gym. La'an looks up with a nod as the doors slide open and she walks in. 'Ready?'

Una nods. 'Joseph felt the need to warn me about your prowess.'

La'an laughs. 'Oh, he did?'

'He did. So go on. Make me sweat.'

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Sam organised the trip. Una and La'an only went along with it because Chris insisted all senior staff needed some low-key bonding time.

'Now, a little about the critters.' Sam is talking, but Una and La'an are barely paying attention. The boat is slowly drifting through dark tunnels, and they've been assured it's safe, but it's hard to be convinced.

'We call them glow worms, but strictly speaking they're–'

Sam is cut off by Erica's gleeful laughter. 'Look!'

They've emerged in a cavern, surrounded by millions of pinpricks of light.

'Beautiful,' Una murmurs, watching the multifaceted glow of La'an's face.

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'Now, I'm not your therapist…'

La'an shoots Christine a withering look. 'I don't have a therapist.'

'Exactly. Which is why someone needs to say it.'

'You're also not anyone's therapist.'

'Which is why I have the space to focus on you.'

'I should tell Una to put you down for diplomatic negotiations.'

Christine steeples her fingers and leans back on her chair. 'Interesting.'

'What is?'

'You bringing our fine first officer up.'

La'an definitely doesn't blush. 'It's her job.'

'You trust her.'

'We all do.'

'She makes you feel safe. Secure.'

'I have to go.'

Christine smirks. 'Sure you do.'

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'It's strange,' La'an says after a moment of looking at the astrometrics display. 'People talk about looking for familiar constellations, and how disconcerting it is when they're in deep space and everything looks wrong.'

'And how they shift,' Una's voice is soft.

'Exactly.' La'an leans forward. 'But I like the changes. It feels like… progress. Movement.'

'I get it,' Una replies. She doesn't say why, doesn't mention the shifting space that would be outside the viewport of a colony ship bedroom bedroom. Doesn't mention the claustrophobia of a static sky from an alien planet.

They just look at the stars.

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Una skids into sickbay. 'I just heard,' she says, grabbing the nearest medic. 'They all got hit with it?'

The medic nods, wide-eyed.

'Commander?'

They both turn.

'Leave her with me, Ensign.' Joseph steers Una away. 'What's wrong?'

Una gapes. 'The away team.' She looks around. It's awfully quiet. 'Are they in isolation?'

'Isolation?'

'For the…' She looks around. 'Pollen.'

He laughs. 'Una, it wasn't that kind of pollen. They have hayfever. I gave them antihistamines.'

'Oh. Right.'

'So you were rushing to…'

'Um. Check?

He tosses her a packet of tissues. 'Give Lieutenant Noonien-Singh these when you see her.'

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La'an hasn't spoken in days. Communicated, yes, in nods and shakes and shrugs. The doctors aren't pushing her – they are kind, gentle.

But she can't find the words she needs. So she stays silent. And, once they provide sedatives that let her close her eyes without being back there, she sleeps.

'Good to see you getting some rest.'

La'an blinks and sees a smiling face above her. She sits up. It's the ensign who sat with her on the shuttle. Una.

'I wondered if you'd mind some company. How would that feel?'

For Una, La'an can find the words. 'Good.'

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'No.'

'That's what I said at first, but–'

'No.'

'Look, it could be worse, at least–'

'No.'

Una folds her arms. 'Strictly speaking, as ranking officer, I could order you to accept this inevitability.'

'That would be an abuse of power.'

'An adorable abuse of power.'

La'an wrinkles her nose. 'I never saw the appeal.'

Una decides to take the shift from 'no' to full sentences as a positive development. 'That's because you've never actually seen a sehlat. You've only heard Spock talk about his old one.'

La'an narrows her eyes. 'How did this even happen?'

Una shrugs. 'Happy accident?'

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They sit close together. The station bar is packed, after all.

Una drums her fingers on her empty glass as La'an drains her own. 'Another?'

At La'an's nod, Una gestures to the bartender who replaces their drinks with fresh ones. 'Thanks.'

'This was a good idea.'

'I know.'

La'an smiles; shy, small but real. She looks down, and notices some writing scratched into the bar. 'What is that?'

Una leans closer. 'A name, maybe?'

La'an looks unconvinced. 'Maybe. Nyota would recognise the script. Is it a date?'

'It sure looks like it,' Erica mutters to Christine as they walk past.

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They both eye Joseph with a healthy dose of scepticism. 'That can't be your medical recommendation.'

'I never said it was.' He gestures to his clothing. 'I'm here as your trainer, not your physician.'

'Training companion,' La'an corrects, folding her arms. 'Don't think sharing some opinions makes you… superior.'

He holds his hands up. 'Training companion, then. But that said, there is some medical evidence for its benefits.'

'Some?'

'Depends who you ask.'

Una shakes her head and looks at the cold plunge pool he has set up. 'Humans will always perplex me.'

'You sound like Spo–.'

'Don't you dare.'

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Una's return is a joyful one. But it isn't without challenges.

For years, she has been self-medicating – carefully – to help side some of the biosigns that could trigger impossible questions. And now that the questions aren't impossible anymore, she can stop. Since there's no protocol for weaning off black market drugs to hide one's augmented nature, she just… stops.

And feels like she's hit by a shuttle.

When La'an lets herself in, ignoring the unanswered chime, Una is curled up on the floor in her underwear, skin sweat-slick.

'Sorry,' she croaks.

La'an bends down to stroke her hair. 'Don't be.'

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La'an straightens her jacket, picking lint from the grey cuff. She'd have to have a word with the housekeeper about the valet. It took time to break in new arrivals.

'Ma'am.' The housekeeper's eyes dipped low. 'The magistrate is in your office.'

She groans. 'Of course he is. Bring through some tea. Not his favourite.'

The housekeeper nods and waits to be dismissed.

'Oh, and that new servant. The…' La'an pauses. 'The pretty one.'

'Ma'am?'

'The valet. Tall. Brunette. Almost human.'

'The Illyrian, ma'am.'

'Yes. Send her for retraining. But don't redeploy her. Bring her back after.'

'Yes, Madam President.'

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Una stops in the doorway. 'There's only one bed.'

Their captor laughs. 'If you want to fight for it, let me know and I'll bring the rest of the lads down to watch you two duke it out.' He shoves her and she stumbles into the cell. Behind her, La'an walks in without argument or comment.

The door slams shut, and the sound of bolts and tumblers shifting into place is followed by perfect silence.

'I'll, um, take the floor,' La'an says after a minute. 'If we're still here when we need to sleep.'

'No, you won't. We can share.'

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Christine hiccups, putting the shot glass back down. 'What about yours?'

Her eyes are slightly unfocused, but it's La'an's shoulder she jabs.

'My what?'

'Your first kiss.' Christine rolls her eyes. 'I just told you all about mine.'

'And none of us asked,' Una says. La'an's eyes catch on the bead of delaq at the corner of her mouth.

'Erica,' Christine whines. 'They're not playing fair.

'We're not playing anything, to be fair.'

'Great point, Lieutenant.'

'Oh, now she's Lieutenant.'

'At least tell me like… gender. Species. Something.'

Una is ready to interrupt, but La'an shrugs, meeting her eyes. 'Female.'

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'That man has no taste.'

'I can't believe he thought that fishing with Joseph was a better option.'

'Fishing with Joseph is actually a pretty good time. Quiet.'

'Well, forgive me if I prefer my shore leave to involve less barbarism.'

'And silly hats.'

'Silly hats do add a lot to the experience.'

'Silly hats can be worn anywhere.' La'an gestures to a statue. 'See. Silly hat.'

Una leans to read the plaque. 'It's a traditional betrothal bonnet.' She turns to Marie. 'Maybe you could get one for Chris.'

'The museum gift shop might sell them.'

Marie stifles a laugh.

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They are sharing a tent; bed rolls divided by gear bags. The distance doesn't stop Una from being able to hear La'an heartbeat: its gentle slowing as she lets herself fall asleep, the occasional slight spike as she starts to dream.

Una has almost drifted off herself when she hears it ramp up some more; following by a groan. She's awake in an instant, ready to rouse La'an from whatever nightmare she's fallen into.

Then she hears La'an's breath catch, followed by a mumbled but unmistakable 'Una.'

Una swallows, and forces herself to calm her pulse and try to sleep.

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Una looks on, a small smile on her lips as La'an scares the living daylights out of a cadet nearly a foot taller than her.

'So which lesson should you have had in mind, Cadet?'

He's almost in tears. 'Lesson one, Lieutenant.'

'Wrong.'

One of La'an's security officers kicks him in the back of the knee. From the ground, La'an's height is practically imposing.

'You were too relaxed,' she informs him.

'Lesson two?'

'Wrong.'

He looks helpless. Una can't help herself. 'You should have all of them in mind at all times, Cadet. Right, Lieutenant?'

La'an folds her arms. 'Right.'

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La'an makes a noise of disgust and rolls over. Erica rocks back onto her heels. 'What?'

'When I say ram your elbow above my right kidney, I don't mean gently pat my back. This isn't a spa day on Risa.'

Erica winces. 'I don't want to overdo it. I'm not exactly a masseuse.'

La'an stares at her. 'We were just running jiu-jitsu drills. You spent ten minutes trying to hip sweep me.'

'But sparring's… different.'

La'an shakes her head and gets to her feet. 'I'm going to go find Una. She's got better elbows anyway.'

'You would know,' Erica grumbles.

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There are three of them in the returning shuttle: Una, Erica and La'an. Someone to play diplomat, someone to fly the ship, and someone to keep the other two safe.

La'an had watched with horror – and more than a touch of something else stirring – as weapons were pulled on Una while she was waylaid discussing retrofitted protection measures with the local security chief. Una handled it with ease and elegance.

And now, with Erica stuck in the back with some alien stomach flu, Una's at the conn. That something else stirring is back, La'an realises, as Una flies them home.

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La'an's door chimes, and she jerks awake on the couch. 'Computer, who is it?'

'Commander Chin-Riley is outside your quarters.'

Una. 'Come,' she calls, clambering to her feet and repositioning the cup that's fallen over. 'Una. Hi.'

'Sorry to interrupt.'

La'an shakes her head. 'Don't be.'

'Were you… asleep?'

La'an feels suddenly guilty. 'Long shift.'

'I know it was. I wanted to check on you after everything.'

La'an softens slightly. 'I'm fine.'

'And embracing Nyota's advice,' Una says, gesturing at La'an's head. 'Good for all hair types?'

Her hand flies up and touches the silken bonnet. 'Oh. Right.'

Una smiles.

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La'an's hands her on her hips. 'That was the opposite of protocol!'

Una winces, and Christine presses a hypo to her neck. 'Don't agitate my patient.'

'Don't–' La'an splutters. 'I think you should be telling your patient not to agitate me.'

Christine is very good at administering hypos. Una feels a pleasant wave of warmth and calm spread over her. 'Sorry, Lala. Lana. La'ah.' She drags her teeth over her tongue. 'Tricky.'

'You idiot,' La'an says.

'Took a chance. Had to.'

'You did not.'

'Knew you'd save me, A'lan. La'lan.'

La'an sighs. 'Get some rest.'

'Get a less tricky name.'

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The planet may be warp capable, but the accommodations provided to their new Federation allies are… rustic.

No one had thought to explain that the doors utilising traditional keys don't lock themselves.

'I can't believe it,' La'an says, torn between covering her eyes and the need to rush to the correct door. 'It's outrageous.'

'They thought they were alone,' Una says, the voice of reason. 'And it was our mistake.'

'These Skipine numbers all look the same,' La'an huffs. 'I'm not going to be able to look Christine in the eye at my next physical.'

'Maybe we should get inspired.'

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Una elbows La'an.

'Um. I'm sorry for your loss?' La'an looks at Una, rather than anywhere else. But the ensign sniffs and lets out a little sob.

'Thank you, Lieutenant.'

'Let me know if there's anything I can do,' Una adds, patting the ensign on the arm.

The ensign swallows another sob and nods, before turning to the others gathered around.

'How long do kissing beetles live for anyway,' La'an mutters.

'Hissing beetles. And I have no idea.'

Across the room, the ensign hugs Nyota. 'Fun would have loved you.'

'Interesting name,' La'an says. 'Fun the Dalvin Hissing Beetle.'

'Mmm.'

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Jenna sidles up to Christine in the mess hall. 'Hear you're the one to talk to for the betting pool.'

Christine raises an eyebrow. 'You do, do you? And what betting pool might that be?'

Jenna smirks. 'You know. Them.' She jerks her head towards the bar, where the ship's first officer and chief of security are engaged in an absolutely entirely platonic discussion over strawberry daiquiris. 'I want to put some credits down.'

'All right. What's your bet, then?'

Jenna blinks. 'That they're… you know. An item.'

Christine snorts. 'I'm not giving out free credits, Mitchell. I need specifics.'

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'Chris, I had a thought.'

'Lay it on me.'

'We keep agreeing to take on new cadets. And host VIPs. And we may be the flagship, but we're still beholden to the laws of physics. There isn't room.'

Chris sighs. 'I know. The ambassador from Farimus III was not impressed at his quarters. I think Sam's experiment was seeping through the wall. What are you proposing?'

'Use my quarters for VIPs.'

His face clouds. 'Una, you're not trying to resi–'

'No! No. I just…' She blushes. 'I can share someone else's.'

He smiles. 'If this Lieutenant Someone Else doesn't mind?'

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'It's really not that bad,' Una insists, fork drifting in front of La'an's face. 'Are you sure you don't want to try any?'

'Your idea of not that bad and my idea of not that bad are in different quadrants.' La'an gives a very small sniff and feels her eyes begin to burn. 'How do you even figure out that you can eat something that spicy?'

Una shrugs, popping the morsel in her mouth. 'It's what I've grown up with.'

The sting still lingers in La'an's eyes and nose. 'Well no kissing me for at least an hour.'

Una pouts.

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'I can't believe I let you talk me into this.' La'an tweaks at the gown Una has helped her lace up. 'You promise nobody will see?'

Una nods. 'Just us.'

'And you really, really couldn't swap?'

Una brushes down La'an's shoulders. 'You've got Mabel's range.' She steps back. 'And you're not not enjoying seeing me in this.' She snaps a suspender to underline her point.

La'an rolls her eyes but Una sees her rising blush. 'Maybe.'

'You know I adore you. And your willingness to do this.'

'Only for you.' She straightens up. 'All is prepared.'

Una kisses her soundly.