Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Way out in the fields of China's undisturbed countryside, there sat a lonesome mansion. It was relatively modest as far as mansions go (being only two-stories tall), but it was still a symbol of wealth all the same. The proud owners, while usually not around to enjoy it, took pleasure in the peaceful isolation their home provided, away from the hustle and bustle of modern living. Truly, it was picturesque in almost every way.

"Almost" being the operative word. For down below in the mansion's basement lay a dark and foreboding laboratory straight out of a science-fiction movie.

Although the lab's owner was not home at the moment, it wasn't unoccupied. Sleek automatons in black and brown metal plating patrolled the poorly lit area. Their pill-shaped bodies hovered off the ground with propulsion jets as their cylindrical heads swiveled 360 degrees to scan for disturbances. Some were tending to the various machines and equipment that took up space, while others mingled with their fellow units like coworkers at the water cooler.

Having been installed with "emotion chips" - as their creator so eloquently called them - the robots held a degree of personality that was usually not common among their ilk. As such, they had formed something of their own society within the mansion grounds whenever their master didn't take them out on a mission.

Speaking of their master and his missions, he had just returned from one (if the intense slam of the basement's door was any indication). As the robots cleared a path and readied themselves for potential instructions, their red photoreceptors took in the creator's current state. Had their haunting faceplates been designed to emote, they would've visibly winced.

What had left the house as a determined if only slightly out-of-shape young man came back a beaten, bruised, defeated husk of his former self. His crimson hair was disheveled, swirly lab goggles cracked atop his forehead, albino skin caked in dark splotches, and black trench coat left in tatters.

As for the group of robots he had taken with him on his outing…their remains were in a makeshift bag he had slung over his back. Sadly, this had become a rather common sight to behold in recent times.

"I CANNOT BELIEVE YOUR INCOMPETENCE!"

And to the dismay of everyone's audio receptors, that had become a rather common sound to accompany it.

Trailing behind the teen like an angry specter was…exactly that: an angry specter. Though small in size, the purple ghost with a clown-like mask for a face exuded a primal rage that could be felt by the sparks her incorporeal body gave off. Despite this menacing aura, the lab's owner merely scowled at her screeching as he carefully made his way down the steps.

"We could've had three new Shen Gong Wu to add to our arsenal!" chided the displeased ghost. "But nooooo! You just had to fumble that Xiaolin Showdown by gloating at the last second! It's like you can't help yourself from self-sabotage! You and your unnecessary showmanship - are you even listening, Jack Spicer!?"

The irritated inventor, Jack Spicer, dumped his bag of scrap metal on the nearest workbench before turning to address the spirit.

"Could you get off my back for FIVE MINUTES, WUYA!? I'm hurt, I'm tired, and I haven't eaten anything all day!"

Ignoring the seething specter, Wuya, Jack turned to one of the robots that dared to approach the duo. He offered it a tired but loving smile.

"JackBot 13, could you get me some pudding from the minifridge? And let the MedBot know I'm home while you're at it. Thanks."

Saluting with its oversized claw-hand, the droid hovered further into the depths of the lair to fulfill its assigned task. Meanwhile, Jack took a seat at his workbench and sighed as he sorted through the remains of the "JackBots" that had been trashed that day. Wuya circled above him like a shark circling a lifeboat.

"Losing more Shen Gong Wu, and all you can think about are robots and pudding!? Absurd!" the restless soul ranted. "You are wasting your time on those useless machines! While our enemies get faster and stronger, you just get slower and lazier! Stuffing your face with junk food and letting your constructs do all of the work…if this is the state of evil in the modern day, then the Heylin have already lost!"

As Wuya continued her ceaseless ragging, JackBot 13 faithfully returned to its master with a pudding cup in claw. Alongside it was the requested MedBot (a JackBot wearing a metallic nurse's cap on its domed head) with a first aid kit. Jack graciously accepted the snack as he steeled himself for the antiseptic spray.

"Hey, Earth to ghost hag? Uncalled for," he remarked idly, temporarily snapping Wuya out of her rant. "What's done is done; the monks have a little more Wu than we do now. Big whoop. No point crying over spilled milk."

Wuya's mask-face deadpanned. "Oh, that is rich coming from the boy who cries at practically everything."

"I do not cry at every- OWOWOW!" Jack cried, tears spilling out of his eyes as the MedBot applied the antiseptic to his wounds. It beeped apologetically.

"I rest my case…" Wuya sighed, more disappointed than proud to be right in this instance.

Pulling himself together, Jack sniffled, "O-Oh yeah? Well…you never mentioned magic humans in bath robes would be constantly at my throat when I signed up for this Wu hunt! I can begrudgingly accept mystical Chinese artifacts being a thing. But monk warriors with control over the four elements? Madness!"

"Excuses, excuses!" Wuya retorted, putting her ghostly tendrils to her nonexistent hips. "That just means you should be honing in on your fighting skills. Or at the very least practicing the Shen Gong Wu you do have! And before you say it, no, swinging from the ceiling pipes with the Monkey Staff does not count."

"Uh, hello? It's a staff that turns me half-monkey. You expect me not to have fun with that?" Jack asked rhetorically while the MedBot applied bandages to his bruised body.

That was seemingly the final straw for Wuya. The fifteen-hundred-year-old evil spirit shook with rage as the electrical sparks emanating from her increased in volume and power. Before Jack or his robots could fear for circuits getting fried, she let out an ear-splitting scream of unbridled frustration.

"THAT'S IT! I'M DONE!" Wuya declared with the force of a thousand disillusioned mentors. "You're hopeless! Had I known you would be the one to free me, I would've preferred to stay trapped in that accursed puzzle box! Consider this partnership over!"

After checking his pulse to be sure he hadn't died from a sudden heart attack, Jack sobered up as Wuya's words caught up with him.

"Wait...you're dumping me!? B-But you promised we'd get to rule the world together!"

"That was before I knew I was dealing with an imbecile!" Wuya fired back. "I can see the writing on the wall; you're destined for failure at every turn! I may have all eternity to conquer this world, but that doesn't mean I wish to spend it with the likes of you!"

The witch's spirit took a break from all the shouting to sigh to herself. "There must be some competent beings left in this mortal coil. Hell, I'll even settle for a cyclops so long as they're big and strong enough. Best to start looking now while I still can…"

"This isn't fair!" the megalomaniacal teen whined, shooting up out of his seat only to wince from the aches that still plagued him. "We're supposed to be an evil team! You sense the Wu, I grab them with my solid hands, the rest of the world bows before us! You can't back out now just because I happen to lose from time to time!"

"You lose ALL THE TIME, boy! That's the problem!" the ghost screeched, zooming in to get up close in Jack's face while startling him. "It's actually rare for you to get a win, and even rarer to retain it! Hence why I'm taking my chances with someone else! If I had a physical form, I'd take what little Wu you have left with me. But seeing as how you'll inevitably lose it all to the monks anyway, you can keep them. Goodbye, Jack Spicer. It's been a displeasure working with you!"

Wuya passed through Jack's physical body and flew out of the basement, leaving the young man to collapse on the ground to dry heave. Once the sensation of wanting to hurl ice cubes finally ended, Jack looked up to the ceiling to shout at the spirit that had long since left.

"You know I hate it when you do that!"

The day marched on as Jack Spicer worked tirelessly on repairing his destroyed robots. Though he was advised by the MedBot to rest after patching him up from his fight with the monks, Jack dismissed it, wanting nothing more than to drown himself in his work so that he didn't have to reflect on his failures again.

Which was why he was engaged in a one-sided argument with himself about said failures.

"Stupid Wuya, stupid monks, stupid everything! Everybody thinks they're soooo much better than me: Jack Spicer, Evil Boy Genius! Well what do they know? Nothing, that's what! I don't need that smelly old ghost to conquer the world. As soon as I'm done fixing my boys, I'll make a Shen Gong Wu detector and get the next one that reveals itself! Should be a simple matter of analyzing the frequencies the Monkey Staff emits and cross-referencing it with the other Wu I've got. Yeah, that'll teach 'em to mess with me!"

As the wannabe world conquer rambled to himself, a JackBot stopped behind him with a bundle of letters.

"Pardon me, sir."

Jack groaned before turning to face the bot. "What is it, JackBot 47? I'm in the middle of an evil rant! This better not be another puzzle box with a ghost hag hiding inside…"

"Negative. Just here to deliver you your mail," JackBot 47 explained calmly, offering the letters to his creator. Jack pushed his fixed goggles back up to his forehead and examined the letters, tossing each one.

"Junk. Junk. Electric bill for Mom and Dad. Junk…what the heck?"

Amidst the bills and junk mail, Jack paused when an unusual letter stood out. While the envelope had his delivery address like always, it was the return address that threw him for a loop. Mainly because it didn't have one. In the top left corner was a symbol Jack did not recognize: a black and white shield with a fancy pen and lightning bolt crossed in front adorned by feathers and a crown. The stamp also sported the same logo.

Wondering how this letter even made it through the postal system, Jack opened it, curiosity getting the better of him. He squinted his eyes in an attempt to read the fancy, cursive writing to figure out who sent this to him and why.

Jack Spicer,

You have the distinct honor of having been scouted by Hope's Peak Academy. We are a Japanese private school dedicated to cultivating talent and spreading hope throughout the world. To further these goals, Hope's Peak has begun the Foreign Exchange Student Program as a means of reaching out to gifted high schoolers from all corners of the globe. Should you choose to accept this invitation, you are all but guaranteed success in life upon graduation.

Despite this Foreign Exchange Student Program, Hope's Peak is still a highly exclusive institution when it comes to accepting students in our Main Course. You will not be given a second chance to enter should you decline our offer. As such, the only requirements for attending are as follows:

1. You must already be legally enrolled at a high school.

2. You must be the very best at what you do.

Choosing to accept this invitation also requires you to select a title for yourself to denote what field you excel in. Based on our research, we recommend either the "Ultimate Roboticist" or "Ultimate Engineer" (please note that some talents are liable to overlap with others, and we are not responsible for any infighting among students because of it). Should you believe the provided examples to be inaccurate, feel free to write what you think you should be called and why in a detailed response letter. We look forward to hearing back from you!

Signed by Koichi Kizakura, Hope's Peak Academy's Talent Scout. Co-signed by Jin Kirigiri, headmaster of Hope's Peak Academy.

Jack read, re-read, and re-re-read the letter in order to fully grasp its contents. Not only was it written in his native language, but these people somehow spied on him? At least long enough to recognize his craft? What else did they know about him!?

"Is everything alright, sir?" asked JackBot 47, his autotuned voice doing its best to convey worry. "You're shaking and sweating again."

Instead of answering directly, Jack merely shoved the current object of his worries in the bot's faceplate. Carefully grasping the letter in his sharp claws, the machine literally scanned its contents.

"Ah. So that's what this is about. Do you think it's a trick from the monks or some other third party?"

"I don't know, and that's what worries me!" Jack moaned, swiftly moving away from his workbench and to one of his computer consoles. "I've gotta do some research. There's no way this is legit! It's probably just the work of a really dedicated scammer or something."

The robot hovered closely behind his master with the letter still in hand. For all his lack of social and combat skills, Jack Spicer was a tech-savvy whiz. It didn't take him long to dig up information on Hope's Peak Academy from all across the web.

As it turns out, it was indeed a fully recognized institution within Japan, and perhaps the most well-renowned school on the planet to boot. For an aspiring villain as goal-oriented as he was, Jack wasn't too surprised that a place like Hope's Peak managed to slip under his radar. If it didn't have anything to do with evil, he didn't particularly care to keep up with it. Especially if it prided itself on something nauseatingly good, such as spreading hope around the world: the very thing he stood against.  

At any rate, news articles said the school had also enacted a Foreign Exchange Student Program, just like the letter had claimed. Jack even managed to perfectly trace the signatures back to one of Hope's Peak's talent scouts as well as the current headmaster. Not that forging signatures wasn't commonplace, but with custom-coded forensics programs at his fingertips, the boy genius quickly dispelled any notion of them being fake. It took a sneaky cheat like him to know if he was being targeted by another.

Speaking of advanced computer programs, thanks to his deep web crawlers, Jack also got a list of some of the attending students to skim through. There was the Ultimate Baseball Star, the Ultimate Solider, the Ultimate Swordswoman, the Ultimate Gamer, and the Ultimate Mechanic to name a few. As the letter cautiously alluded to, some appeared to share similar or exact titles, such as there being two Ultimate Detectives and two Ultimate Lucky Students (whatever that meant).

Jack felt this level of generalized denomination was a bit antithetical to the definition of "ultimate". But perhaps a little competition is what truly builds character; you either soar or you develop imposter syndrome. They've got to weed out the inadequate without making it too obvious. Why else would the academy refuse to accept responsibility for infighting?

Regardless, he had seen enough. This was all real.

"Okay, so it is legit..." Jack muttered as he took the letter back and eyed it. He still didn't like the idea of him being spied on like that. Spying was his job as an evil genius!

"Are you going to accept the invitation then?" JackBot 47 asked curiously.

"Me? Jack Spicer, ruler of the universe, going to some snobby boarding school? As if!" he scoffed, closing his internet browser and opening up his personal cloud network. "I only attend regular school so my parents and the authorities don't get suspicious. And half the time I don't even show up, I just send RoboJack to take my place!"

At the mention of his own robotic double, Jack stole a quick glance at the currently deactivated RoboJack in the corner. He was always his most unruly creation (what with him being based on himself and all), and right now he was down for maintenance. Jack still debated with himself on installing an obedience chip in him. For as "evil" as he was, he was never fond of completely controlling his robots like that. Sad as it was to admit, they really were the only friends he's ever had.

"That is true…" JackBot 47 admitted while scratching the spot on his faceplate where a chin would be. "But the part about a successful life upon graduation sounds tempting, no? I'm just spit-balling here, but say you do accept their invitation. You could easily secure yourself a high-ranking position within any major government due to your skills and background as a Hope's Peak graduate. You could then infiltrate the world's ruling class and take over from the inside. Might make your job a lot easier."

Jack halted examining the saved and updated memory files of his destroyed JackBots as 47's words sunk in. He made an incredibly valid point; that certainly would make taking over the world a lot easier. While stockpiling Shen Gong Wu would still be helpful for the cause, sinking his metaphorical claws into every facet of the global market might be more feasible than it sounds.

The evil genius could see it now: his robots and tech becoming a household name, perhaps even being used by armies should he be signed on as a military contractor. But with the simple press of a button? Instant invasion and blitzkrieg! At that point, the world's leaders would have no choice but to hand Jack the keys to the planet. Half the fun of conquering the Earth was by using shock and awe tactics anyway, so it was a win-win!

"47, you're a genius!" Jack exclaimed happily as he grabbed the robot's face. "And by extension me since I made you and your brothers! This could actually be the big break I've been looking for!"

"Happy to help, sir!"

Jack gingerly held up the letter he had previously seen as a confusing annoyance, now a proverbial golden ticket. The fools running Hope's Peak had no idea the grave mistake they made inviting him of all people. Not that he was going to look a gift horse in the mouth, that's for sure!

"JackBots: fetch me a pen and paper!"

Chapter Text

It took over a month of back and forth mail exchanges and paperwork, but Jack Spicer finally got himself registered as an Ultimate student at the illustrious Hope's Peak Academy.

Granted, the application process would've gone by faster had he not dragged his feet insisting on being called the Ultimate Evil Boy Genius. To Jack's utter annoyance, the people in charge deemed his recommendation as "too vague" and "not the hopeful image [they] wished to convey". So he had to settle for the Ultimate Engineer to cover most of his bases.

He still made it known that this could've been done through email in his last letter to them. Had to vent his frustrations with bureaucracy somehow.   

Once all that was settled, it was only a matter of packing for the big move overseas. While he would take his hover jet and could easily use it to fly back home, Jack still made sure to pack the essentials. This mainly included the few Shen Gong Wu he still had for safekeeping and some spare robot parts. He also dedicated half of his JackBot units to guard the home front while taking the other half with him to Japan.

The boy genius contemplated constructing a teleporter in his dorm as one of his first big school projects. Sure, he still hadn't perfected his time machine yet (there had to be a way to generate enough power to travel further back than 2 seconds), but a simple teleporter shouldn't be that hard for him.

Upon arriving in Japan, Jack was surprised to find that an entrance exam was not required at Hope's Peak. True to their word, the school was very cutthroat about who was allowed in, so being scouted was already one's entrance exam in a manner of speaking. It was explained to him by the headmaster, Jin Kirigiri, that he mainly needed to pass the midterm and final practical exams demonstrating his talent. If he impressed the judges, he was basically golden.

Jack also learned that entrance exams were really only for the Reserve Course, the one exception to Hope's Peak's exclusivity clause. Jin didn't provide much elaboration other than they were just regular students with parents wealthy enough to afford their children access to the school. Jack figured it was just a way for Hope's Peak to receive extra funding while the normies got to ride on the coattails of their superiors. It made sense to him.

The headmaster gave Jack a week in advance to move into his new dorm room before he would start class. This was done in part so that he could get used to the new environment, but also so he could be taught Japanese by the school's Former Ultimate Linguist. Needless to say, she lived up to her title as Jack became bilingual in record time! He knew he was smart, but he had to wonder if there was something supernatural with that woman's teaching skills. Hunting for Wu had taught the evildoer to expect just about anything at this point.

On the last day before class, Jack fiddled around with his e-Handbook, a tablet provided by the school which serves as everyone's ID as well as a map of the premises (it was quite huge and easy to get lost in). Seeing as how it also functioned as an in-house social media app, he used it to skim through the profiles of his soon-to-be classmates, just to get an idea of what he might be dealing with.

What he found was a circus of freaks and weirdos judging from their profile pics alone.

A few seemed normal-ish with their talents and appearance, namely the Ultimate Pianist: Kaede Akamatsu (and apparently Class 79's representative according to her bio). But then you had someone like Korekiyo Shingui, whose zipper face mask and clothing which looked vaguely like a Civil War uniform made Jack somewhat skeeved out. Although his title as the Ultimate Anthropologist did pique his interest a little. Perhaps he knew something about Shen Gong Wu?

Regardless, there were two classmates in particular that stuck out to Jack as being important enough to keep an eye on: K1-B0 and Miu Iruma.

K1-B0 (or "Keebo" as his bio stated he'd prefer to be called) was literally a robot. The Ultimate Robot even. Yet he was definitely no ChameleonBot, or any other bot that Jack made for that matter. Where did he come from, who made him, and why? Jack had assumed he was the only person brilliant enough to make robots advanced enough for things like self-expression. The thought of someone else having already beat him to the punch made the aspiring mad scientist die a little inside...

Keebo's bio unfortunately didn't mention anything about his creator, just some basic trivia about himself like his chest size and voltage preferences. Well and dandy, but that didn't tell the Ultimate Engineer much. He'd have to get close to Keebo to find out what his deal was. If Jack was lucky, perhaps he could even recruit him to his corrupted crusade against the world!

Then there was Miu Iruma…the Ultimate Inventor.

It was bad enough there was another scientist out there that could match Jack's level of tech, but one that was currently attending Hope's Peak? That was simply too much. This school was (figuratively) not big enough for two super geniuses as far as he was concerned; this Miu character was going to be a problem. But, so long as Jack doesn't show any weakness around her, he should remain the top banana like always. His own pride as an inventor was on the line, after all.

Still, he had to admit, she had good taste in fashion with the fingerless gloves and goggles resting on her forehead (even if Jack felt that was bordering on copyright infringement). The spiky straps on her legs and choker that looked like barbed wire was a tad strange though.

And so the first day of class came. After briefly getting lost on the way to homeroom and avoiding an encounter with what he assumed to be the Ultimate Hall Monitor, Jack stood before the door to Class 79.

"God, I almost forgot why I hate going to school…" Jack muttered to himself, old nervous jitters making a return. He lightly slapped himself. "Get a grip, Spicer! You're not here to make friends, you gave up on that a long time ago. You're here to do your thing, graduate, and take over the world. You've dealt with nagging ghosts and magic monks, you can handle a school bully or two. Just act indifferent and they should mostly leave you alone."

With his self-prep talk out of the way, the evil boy genius gripped the doorknob and gently opened the door.

Despite having run a little late to class, Jack noticed that a teacher was noticeably absent, ironically enough. This was made evident by the general lax nature of the students prior to him entering, everyone casually mingling with one another within smaller cliques. However, the chatter quieted down as all eyes were suddenly on him, and almost immediately the cool façade he had constructed began to falter.

"Oh, hey," calmly greeted an average-looking young man with green hair and a chill smile. "I take it you're our new classmate? We've just been told to hang here and wait for him."

"Oh. My. God," came the nasally voice of a teen with dark purple hair and a black-and-white checkered scarf. "The mad lads did it. They made a male clone of Miu. As if one wasn't bad enough! They were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should!"

He shed crocodile tears as he arched his back and wailed dramatically. "WWWAAAAHHHH! Kill me! Just kill me now!"

Before Jack could even think of a comeback for the little gremlin, the one he identified as Miu (who was silently looking at him with an intense stare the second he walked in) beat him to it. She whipped her head towards the boy and scowled.

"Fuck off you failed abortion! Keep that up and I'll have Maki make your wish come true!"

Jack Spicer reeled back as he did a double take. He didn't know what to expect from the Ultimate Inventor going in, but it certainly wasn't a pottymouth! While he was not above swearing himself, it was just so intense and out-of-left-field that his genius brain needed a minute to reboot. What had he signed up for?

"Don't rope me into this," stated a quiet and rather menacing girl with pigtails in the corner. Maki, Jack presumed.

"Guys, settle down! Please!" shouted a girl with blonde hair, a pink sweater vest, and a purple skirt with music note patterns. It didn't take a genius to figure out this was the Ultimate Pianist. "He just got here and you're coming off way too strong. We talked about this, y'know?"

The girl sighed to herself before straightening out her tie and approaching Jack with a more welcoming smile. "Sorry about that, our class can get a little hectic sometimes. Hi, I'm Kaede Akamatsu, Ultimate Pianist and representative of Class 79! I apologize in advance if I overwhelm you with piano talk. I'm kind of a lowkey freak when it comes to the keys, hehe!"

Though she played it off as a lighthearted joke, Jack wondered if he should be on guard with her as well given how…eccentric the other students were so far. Not that he wasn't eccentric himself, but he at least had an excuse as an up-and-coming supervillain. Still, Kaede seemed amiable enough to him, and so he shook her hand.

"Uh, yeah, no problem. I'm Jack Spicer, Evil - err, I mean, Ultimate Engineer."

Out of the corner of his eye, Jack noticed the checkered teen that had mocked him earlier raised a brow slightly before forming a sly grin. As someone who did plenty of scheming in his off hours, he could recognize when someone else was doing it too. Just what was going on in that miscreant's head…?

"Alright, that's it!"

With gloved fists slamming a desk, Miu angrily stood up and pointed at Jack rather accusingly. "First you have the balls to strut in here aping my style! Then you gotta rip off the talent of that shrimp-dicked cuck from Class 77!? You're a fraud and a hack! Get the fuck outta my sight!"

Okay, I knew she was going to be a problem, but I didn't think it would be THIS bad! Jack thought irritably with a twitching eye. This calls for one of his witty and evil comebacks!

"Oh yeah? Well…I know you are, but what am I!?"

The classroom was so silent, one could hear a pin drop. All of the students stared incredulously at Jack while some resorted to covering their faces and slowly shaking their heads, wondering what they did to deserve this.

"Nyeh…he's hopeless," dejectedly sighed a small girl with short red hair and a witch hat.

Jack could already feel the nervous sweats coming on, and he didn't like it. It didn't help that his inventing rival snorted before divulging into a full-blown cackle. The checkered kid from before was quick to join in on the obnoxious laughter, the two becoming more like hyenas than students.

He was already adding both of them to his enemy list, just below the Xiaolin monks.

"Hah-hahahahaha! Oh man, this is incredible…!" Miu exclaimed, wiping an imaginary tear from her eye as her laughter subsided into manageable chuckles. "He's even a wimp like Kazuichi too! To think I was worried that my rightful position as Ultimate Inventor was being challenged for even a second! Once again, I - Miu Iruma - fucking rule!"

"MIU!"

The vulgar blonde's arrogant attitude instantly evaporated as soon as the other blonde called her out. Miu became meek and timid under Kaede's gaze, barely managing to spit out her words.

"EEEEK! K-K-Kaede…what did I d-do?"

"Don't give me that. You know fully well what you did," the pianist scolded with her arms crossed. "We're trying to make our new classmate feel welcome, and you're doing the exact opposite right now. I'm disappointed in you."

"Ooooo~ You tell her, girl!" crowed the living domino piece.

"You too, Kokichi."

"Nee-heehee!" he snickered with his arms resting behind his head.

Miu was nearly on the verge of crying as she attempted to give a defense for herself. "B…But babe-"

Kaede cut her off, "Don't 'babe' me. You're not getting out of this that easily. We're going to have a talk about this in my dorm later, and that is not up for debate. Do you understand?"

The Ultimate Inventor sniffled, wiped away the damning tears with her sleeve, and nodded sheepishly as her lip quivered.

"Good. Thank you," Kaede said to her before turning to a dumbfounded Jack with a sigh. "I'm sorry you had to see that. I've been trying to work with her on not being so confrontational. It's…slow progress."

Jack - still processing the fact that not only were those two an item, but that he found someone just as prone to sobbing in public as he was - nodded. "Y-Yeah, uh, baby steps and whatnot. I get that…"

Sensing the growing awkwardness in the room, Kaede chuckled awkwardly and changed subjects. "Anyway…why don't I show you to the rest of the class? We still haven't properly introduced you to everybody else!"

The peppy girl turned towards her classmates with an elegant spin. "Anyone care to go first? I wouldn't want to steal you guys' thunder."

"Heh, alright. I guess I'll start things off…" chuckled a man with spiky purple hair, goatee, and an open jacket which hid cosmic printing on the inside. He stepped forward to Jack and gave a hearty thumbs up as he introduced himself.

"The name's Kaito Momota, Luminary of the Stars! Even crying children adore the Ultimate Astronaut! Nice to meet ya, Jack!"

"The Ultimate Astronaut?" Jack parroted back, genuinely impressed. "Wow, that's actually pretty cool! I've always wanted to go into space. Is it as breathtaking as they say it is in-person?"

Kaito scratched the back of his neck while still retaining a proud smile. "Well…I don't know yet! I'm still in training, after all. But they love my spirit and I'm making good progress! As soon as I finish high school, I'll be among the stars before you know it!"

Suddenly, Jack was a lot less impressed. Why call yourself the Ultimate Astronaut if you technically weren't even a regular astronaut yet?

"I'm Rantaro Amami," waved the laid-back green-haired guy who acknowledged Jack first. "They call me the Ultimate Adventurer. But 'Ultimate Survivor' works too, considering all the jams my adventures tend to get me in."

"Hoo boy, I can relate…" Jack said with an exhausted sigh.

Rantaro, though still relaxed, perked up in mild interest and curiosity. "You can?"

"Yeah. Although I doubt you'd believe half of the stuff I've seen if I told you."

"I don't know, man, I've seen a lot of strange things in my travels. It's given me something of an open mind," said the fellow adventurer, an easy smile returning to his face. "We should swap stories sometime. I'm always looking for new places I haven't been to yet."

"What does an engineer need to go on adventures for anyway…?" Miu grumbled irritably before getting nudged in the shoulder by her girlfriend.

"For once, the bitchlet asks a good question," Kokichi agreed in a manner Jack found disconcerting (he may not have been fan of Miu or her language, but he still wouldn't call her that). "What exactly does an engineer need to go on globe-trotting escapades for, hmmmm~?"

Jack had no clue what the black and white menace's angle was, nor did he care. So he chose to ignore his obvious prodding and address the next student: a towering man with long, unkempt hair, glasses, and a brown suit.

"So, what's your name, big guy?" Jack asked before his eyes trailed down to the giant's bare feet. "And…why do you have your dogs out?"

"Dogs?" questioned the underdressed individual, turning his head all around to find said metaphorical canines. "Gonta no see dogs. Gonta not even own dogs! Bugs are more Gonta's thing."

"...huh?"

"Oh, sorry! Gonta still have yet to introduce himself like proper gentleman," Gonta apologized, seemingly unaware of having already given his name away four times in a row. "Gonta is Gonta Gokuhara, and Gonta's talent is Ultimate Entomologist. Gonta also strives to become true gentleman one day! Hope Jack can be friends with Gonta!"

A caveman gentleman who studies bugs… Jack tried (and failed) to rationalize internally. If this guy tries to invite me to a tea party with his insect friends, I'm running for the hills!

"Uh, you'll have to excuse Gonta, Jack," Kaede stepped in as politely as she could. "He's had an…unconventional upbringing. I know, who hasn't had one here at Hope's Peak, right? But his is a special case. We kindly ask that you not bother him about it. He'll tell you when he's ready like he did with the rest of us."

The evil genius's brain was still playing catchup, so he nodded dumbly as Kaede awkwardly guided him along to the next student.

"Now allow me to introduce you to the Ultimate Detective, and my best friend, Shuichi Saihara!"

"K-Kaede!?" the emo-looking boy, Shuichi, cried out in a panic as he tried to avert her and Jack's gaze by tilting the brim of his cap. "What happened to not 'stealing anybody's thunder'? I could've introduced myself just fine…"

The Ultimate Pianist shook her head playfully. "Mm-mm. I didn't want to take the risk of you downplaying your own title. No matter what you try to say, you deserve to be here and you deserve to be called the Ultimate Detective!"

"An Ultimate Detective," Shuichi shyly yet stubbornly corrected. "I'll never be Kyoko Kirigiri…"

While Kaede and Shuichi were having a moment that clearly wasn't their first, Jack latched onto the name the latter had mentioned.

Kyoko Kirigiri? Haven't I heard that name somewhere? Oh, yeah, the headmaster's last name is Kirigiri! His daughter's attending Hope's Peak as a second Ultimate Detective? Guess that explains why I saw two of those titles online. Looks like nepotism strikes again.

"And that's why you're the greatest detective in my heart and why you belong in Hope's Peak," Kaede finished up, leaving her best friend a burning hot mess.

"That - I - well…th-thank you, Kaede, really. It means a lot…" he managed to get out with a shaky smile.

"Anytime!" she said with a finger gun before taking Jack over to the next student.

A tan girl with an ethnic background Jack was not familiar with was sitting atop one of the desks in the lotus position, quietly praying. If Jack were a normal person, he wouldn't have blamed her for taking the time to pray to a higher power in the midst of all this madness.

"Angie?" Kaede cautiously inquired. "I'm not interrupting, am I? I just wanted to see if you were interested in introducing yourself to Jack."

The girl in a tropical swimsuit with a big yellow coat draped over it peeked one eye open. Her smile stood firm as she spoke. "No, no, Kaede, you are alright. I was just praying for Atua to send good fortune to our new classmate, so that he may feel as welcome as I did when I first arrived! Nya-hahaha~!"

"Well that's…considerate," Jack said simply. Being a man of science, he naturally wasn't very religious (although recent events in his life have made him reconsider). Regardless, he wasn't evil enough to criticize someone else's beliefs, especially when he wasn't knowledgeable about it. Professional villains have standards.

Angie soon hopped off the desk she was sitting on and tilted her upper torso side-to-side like a pendulum as she spoke. "Yoo-hooo! I am Angie Yonaga, the Ultimate Artist! My body is a vessel for Atua's will, and all the credit for my creations goes directly to him!"

"Uh-huh…" Jack uttered, growing increasingly anxious about the topic of conversation. He would honestly rather talk about politics. At least then he'd have an easy answer on how things should be done: let him take charge of it all.

Kaede must've sensed the shift of the atmosphere and thankfully steered Angie back on course. "Say, Angie, you know Jack is also a part of the Foreign Exchange Student Program, right?"

"Oh, yes, yes, YES! And that has me overjoyed!" Angie cheered, charging into Jack for a surprise hug attack. He might not have been big on hugs, but it beat discussing religion. "We can take on this academy together as foreign buddies! Tell me, what land do you hail from? I bet it's just as beautiful and exotic as my island!"

Jack chuckled awkwardly as he did his best to navigate his way out of the girl's hug. "Well, uh, I was actually born and raised in the U.S., probably the least exotic land. But my folks and I eventually moved to the countryside in China. Less likely to get shot over there, y'know?"

A smooth yet oddly doomy voice interjected, "Be that as it may, I wouldn't entirely dismiss the culture of America. With so many of its citizens coming from a wide swath of religious and ethnic backgrounds, it is often described as a 'melting pot' for a reason. And that's not even mentioning the natives who lived there before the European settlers arrived."

The long-haired fellow with questionable taste in fashion had inserted himself into the conversation like he had always belonged. Jack had already taken notes from skimming through the student database last night; this guy was a history buff's history buff.

"Though I must admit, I do have a soft spot for Chinese culture. Such a beautiful land rich with history…ah, forgive me, I tend to get carried away with my work. I am Korekiyo Shinguji, the Ultimate Anthropologist. Pleased to make your acquaintance."

"Uh…right back at ya, man," Jack said with a nod. While he could still prove useful to Jack for unlocking the mysteries of the Shen Gong Wu, something about the anthropologist set alarm bells off in his head. He wanted to say it was just the odd face mask that made it look like part of a gimp suit, but he should tread lightly nonetheless.

"Okay, I think you've put me on hold long enough now!" Kokichi interjected coyly, popping up from behind Korekiyo's lanky figure like a child hiding behind their parents. Jack didn't even notice him sneaking around. "Tremble before the terrible might of the Ultimate Supreme Leader, Kokichi Oma! Mwahahahahaha!"

For as annoying as he was proving himself to be thus far, Jack had to admit: Kokichi's evil laugh was on point. It had a certain flair to it that was not unlike his own. Credit where credit was due.

As for his "talent"...

"Ultimate what-now?"

"Ultimate Supreme Leader. Sheesh, are you stupid or something?" Kokichi said with a wide grin like it was the most obvious thing on earth. "I lead the most evil, vicious, dangerous organization in the entire world. There's tens of thousands of us, and you better not to mess with me or I'll have my goons send you to Siberia!"

Jack was only left with more questions than answers. Just what kind of evil organization was Kokichi running and why wasn't he invited? And for that matter, how come Hope's Peak let this student pick out an appropriately diabolical title but not him? He must've pulled some serious strings that Jack wasn't aware of. If that was the case…then this guy was good (at being bad).

"Just ignore him," uttered Maki still brooding in the corner. "He's a compulsive liar. Lying comes as naturally to him as breathing."

"Hey, I'll have you know that my body is composed of AT LEAST 70% lies, thank you very much!" Kokichi corrected teasingly. "And contrary to popular belief, I like to sprinkle some half-truths in there to keep you all guessing. It's all part of the fun!"

"Wait, so are you actually the leader of an evil organization or not?" Jack asked completely seriously, not heeding the pigtail girl's words at all.

Kokichi hummed loudly while tapping his chin in a highly exaggerated manner, pretending to be deep in thought. He then raised a finger to his sly smirk.

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

Once again, Jack had to wonder what the checker-patterned teen was up to, acting like he knew some big secret of his. But it's not like he had anything to hide. Jack considered himself a fairly open book.

Shaking his head in mild annoyance and confusion, the Ultimate Engineer set his sights to the next Ultimate.

"Greetings. My name is Kirumi Tojo, and my title is that of the Ultimate Maid," professionally recited by the only woman in the room dressed as a maid. "If you have any requests or preferences to make your stay at our class more comfortable for you, do not hesitate to ask. I will fulfill them in a timely manner."

"Are you...actually offering your services to me?" Jack asked sincerely. Despite coming from a rich family, he wasn't used to having human servants for obvious reasons.

"Indeed. I live to serve," Kirumi answered, serious as a heart attack. "Provided that the tasks you assign to me are within my capabilities and not sexual in nature. Otherwise, I will carry it out with pride."

"We mainly just use her to bring snacks, wash our clothes, and make our beds," Kokichi added with a cheeky grin. "She's basically the class mom! Isn't that right, mommy~?"

"For the umpteenth time, refrain from referring to me as your mother," Kirumi politely demanded, delicate facial features remaining calm despite the insistence of her tone. "I am still a high school student just like you."

"Nyeh…ignoring Kokichi, Kirumi is pretty great," said the girl with the witch hat as she sluggishly approached Jack like she had just gotten out of bed. "Hi, I'm Himiko Yumeno. And I…am the Ultimate Maaaage. But my official title is the Ultimate Magician…"

"How come it's not the Ultimate Mage then?" Jack asked, starting to get fed up with the school's arbitrary rules for what one could and couldn't call themselves.

"That's because the fools refuse to recognize magic as a legitimate trade," Himiko answered seriously, waking up for but a brief moment to explain herself. "My magic tricks are all real, and I've even won a Magician of the Year award from Magic Castle, a group of dedicated magic lovers. Perhaps if you have an open mind, I can put on a show for you sometime."

Jack smirked knowingly at the short girl. Had Wuya not introduced him to what was hiding behind the veil of normalcy, he would've dismissed Himiko as either delusional or stupid. It was amusing how close she was to the truth without even realizing it…

"Hey, what's with that smirk!?" aggressively asked a toned girl with dark hair, a green bow, and wearing some kind of training outfit. "You better not be having any dirty thoughts about my sweet, sweet Himiko you degenerate male!"

"Woah, woah, WOAH!" Jack cried with his arms up while taking a huge step back. "I do not like how you said 'male' just then! Who do you think you are, huh!?"

The girl adopted a fighting stance. "I'm Tenko Chabashira, Ultimate Aikido Master and co-creator of Neo-Aikido! If you try anything on Himiko - or any other girl in the class for that matter - I will twist you like a pretzel! HIII-YAH!"

Jack barely managed to dodge a swift kick from Tenko before glaring at her. "What the hell's your problem, lady!? I already get that kind of warm welcome from Xiaolin monks, I don't need it from Aikido masters as well!"

Whether his words registered in Tenko's mind or not was unclear as she stood her ground and glared back at him. Jack did not have to take this kind of treatment. He was adding her to his enemy list as well. It seemed like it was starting to get longer these days…

"Nyeh, Tenko, cut it ouuuut..." Himiko yawned. "He actually seemed like he was interested in my magic."

"S-Sorry Himiko!" Tenko sputtered with a red-hot face. "But you can never be too careful around degenerate males! It's my duty as your girlfriend to protect you from harm!"

"We're not dating," the magician stated matter-of-factly.

"Urk! I meant, uh…as a girl who is your friend…?"

While the two gals were in the middle of the world's most awkward debate imaginable, Kaede once again took the initiative and guided Jack away.

"I am so, so, SO sorry about Tenko," she whispered semi-frantically. "The class and I tried to talk her into being ready to accept a new male student and…she just has some anger management issues, that's all! It's nothing personal."

"It sure sounded personal…" Jack said, taking personal offense regardless. "Didn't think a prestigious school would allow that kind of intolerance."

"Jack, I understand what it looks like, but I promise you it's not what you think. Like Gonta, her situation is…complicated. But she's really nice when you get to know her! And she's willing to defend anyone who she sees as being treated unfairly, regardless of gender or sex."

So she's a goody-goody too. Great, barf me a river, Jack thought bitterly. Even if what Kaede said about Tenko was true and that was just misunderstood, he doubted he'd want to bother. The boy genius had enough martial artists in his life already.

The Ultimate Pianist guided Jack over to a comparatively unassuming girl with long blue hair, glasses, and a plain black dress. She appeared to be lost in thought, seemingly unaware of their approach.

"Oh jeez, she's doing it again…" Kaede sighed to herself the moment she noticed her classmate's blank stare.

"Doing what again?" Jack dared to ask.

"Daydreaming."

Before Jack could follow up his first question with a, "How is that so bad?", Tsumugi snapped out of her self-induced trance and blinked owlishly at him.

"Um, excuse me? I apologize if this is a bit sudden but…do you see yourself as an atypical isekai protagonist destined to lead a colorful, chaotic trio of waifus with massive personality flaws?"

Both Kaede and Jack stared at her for what felt like an eternity. The latter now understood why the former was originally worried.

"Uh…what?"

"Hmm? Oh, sorry," Tsumugi apologized, turning her head away. "The second you walked in, my plain mind immediately jumped to this crossover fanfiction I've been reading featuring one of my favorite anime. You reminded me of the story's main character...anyway, I'm Tsumugi Shirogane, the Ultimate Cosplayer. There's nothing else noteworthy about me."

"Oookaaay…" Jack drawled out, unsure how to feel with such a random and hyper specific comparison. "I take it you're into geek culture then. An otaku, right? That's what they're called here?"

Something in the cosplayer's eyes lit up, like she wasn't expecting Jack to actually play along with her interests. Nevertheless, she answered.

"Mm-hmm, you got it. But I don't just limit myself to anime; I wouldn't be the Ultimate Cosplayer if I did. Western media has so much variety to it as well! In fact, that mechanical backpack you've got on? Reminds me an awful lot of an Irken PAK from the Invader Zim franchise…"

Jack went wide-eyed as his jaw dropped in astonishment at Tsumugi's accurate assessment of his beloved HeliBot.

"Y-YES! That's it! That's exactly the vibe I was going for! Wow, you are the first person to ever pick up on that. I think you and I are going to get along just fine."

Miu grunted off to the side but didn't say anything. Even so, the unwarranted scoff from the inventor was enough to get under Jack's skin, if only for a quick second.

"You really think so?" Tsumugi asked in clear disbelief. "But I'm just so plain otherwise. You sure you wouldn't mind hanging out with little old me?"

"Of course not. I love yapping about pop culture, it's one of my favorite pastimes," Jack reassured with an easy smile. "Hit me up later and we can continue this."

Tsumugi nodded ecstatically while Jack felt rather proud of himself. He honestly couldn't believe he made a friend that he didn't literally make in his lab. Turns out he just had to find someone that matched his level of freak when it came to entertainment media. Go figure. 

With 13 students out of the way, only 3 remained. Jack started the final round with by far the shortest classmate, who barely reached his waist. He wore a black leather jacket, a blue-and-black striped jumpsuit underneath, and a black beanie with devil horns and blue tennis racket designs on the front. He also had a distinctly baby-ish face which - combined with his short stature - made Jack think of Omi.

His deep voice, however, did not make Jack think of Omi in the slightest.

"Name's Ryoma Hoshi, Disgraced Ultimate Tennis Pro. Despite what the school records say, I've given up on the sport. The man you see before you now is nothing but a husk of his former self."

Jack stared at the self-proclaimed ex-tennis player.

"Do you want to elaborate on that?"

"No," Ryoma stated bluntly, pulling out some sort of cigarette-shaped candy from his pocket. "We're not that close. Maybe someday, but not today."

He walked away while munching on the deceptive treat.

"Well fine, I wasn't that interested anyway," Jack grumbled to himself. He turned his attention to the pigtail girl still cast in shadows. "What about you? What's-"

"Maki Harukawa. Ultimate Child Caregiver. That's all you're getting out of me."

Jack's shoulders slumped. This was turning out to be a rather anticlimactic lightning round.

"C'mon, Maki Roll! That's no way to do an introduction! You gotta put more energy into it!" Kaito chided playfully, casually walking up to the gloomy girl and swinging an arm around her shoulders. In spite of the intense death stare she was giving the purple-haired man, she didn't pull away from his touch. "She may not look like it, Jack, but she's a natural with kids; they love her! You haven't seen cute until you've seen a grumpy Maki with little tykes clinging to her like a jungle gym!"

Kaitio's sincere words broke through Maki's icy exterior as she dropped the death stare and settled for an annoyed pout. She fiddled with her pigtails as she mumbled, "They're so annoying though…"

Jack simply scratched his head and made the wise decision to not press any further. He got the funny feeling that if he pressed his luck with someone like Maki, he'd be found dead in a ditch somewhere in the Mojave desert.

Besides, there was still the final man of the hour to meet. Or rather, the robot of the hour.

"I suppose this makes me the last one to give introductions then," K1-B0 stated pleasantly, Miu following close behind him like a mother hen (much to Jack's chagrin). "I'm K1-B0, the Ultimate Robot! But please, call me 'Keebo'. Everyone else does."

Jack smiled brightly at the android. Humans were messy, complicated creatures that confused and frustrated the boy genius for as long as he could remember. Despite the humanoid machine before him displaying similar traits, however, Jack felt a connection between them that was easier for his mind to grasp. Ironically, transferring human emotions into a robot somehow made them more understandable to someone as socially dense as he. This was his element. 

"Sure thing, Keebo. You probably already know, but I'm Jack Spicer, Ultimate Engineer. Say, if you don't mind me asking, who created you? You've got some pretty advanced-looking tech on you."

"That's none of your fuckin' business, Jackoff Spitroast!" Miu interjected hotly, causing Jack to sputter from the dirty insult of a nickname. "Keebs is my best friend, and he doesn't gotta tell you shit about his home life! So back the hell off!"

After making a quick recovery from the mental damage he took, Jack fired back with a marginally better quip than last time. "Uh, excuse me, young lady? The geniuses are trying to have a conversation here. Kindly butt out."

"Wha-!? You motherfucker, I oughta - !"

"Guys, please stop!" Keebo declared while stepping between the raging scientists. Kaede and Shuichi approached Miu from both sides to better keep her in check. "I don't mind telling Jack about my father, it's only natural that the Ultimate Engineer would ask. Miu, as the Ultimate Inventor, you were curious about me when we first met, were you not?"

"W-Well yeah, but…" Miu started but trailed off when all eyes were on her. She crossed her arms and looked away. "It's different though…"

"I'm afraid I don't see how. And I don't see why I shouldn't tell him about the man who created me either," Keebo gently yet sternly said before addressing Jack again. "To answer your question, my father is Professor Idabashi, Japan's leading expert in robotics engineering. I am the culmination of all his life's work and research. He raised me like he would a biological son, and I couldn't be more grateful for it…"

Conflicting emotions swirled in Jack's mind like a maelstrom. Shock for only now hearing about this professor. Anger for not being the first to make smart AI of Keebo's caliber. Envy for similar reasons. And compassion for the robot's admiration for his creator, just to name a few. It nearly made his brain short-circuit.

Despite all this, Jack was still determined to make a good impression on Keebo. Reservations for Idabashi aside, he didn't hold a grudge on the android for it. A robot was still a robot at the end of the day, and Jack was a man who loved his robots.

"Sounds like you have nothing but respect for him," he commented.

"Indeed I do. Father wanted me to enjoy the simple experiences of a normal teenage life in high school. So here I am!" Keebo explained gleefully, before his expressive faceplate morphed into a mild glare. "Which is why I will not tolerate any robophobic remarks. I am simply a fellow classmate like the rest of my peers. I trust we shouldn't have any issues?"

"Whaaaat!? Pffft! C'mon, what do you take me for, a bigot? Some of my best friends are robots, dude. They'd let me know if I was being a robophobe!"

Keebo's eyes widened at this. "Wait…are you implying that you also make robots?"

"You got that right, robobro!"

"That just makes the best friend comment rather sad…" Maki muttered. Though no one other than her boyfriend, Kaito, heard it, the sentiment was shared amongst Class 79.

Keebo opened and closed his mouth several times as he tried but failed to say something. After taking a moment to close his eyes and literally process this startling new information, he spoke carefully, cupping his chin.

"That is…interesting. I was under the assumption that Professor Idabashi was the only man who's ever made a robot like me."

Jack snapped a finger gun Keebo's way. "Think again, my metallic muchacho! And yes, I do know a little Italian~"

"That was not -"

"Behold: MY BOYS!"

With a press of a button on his wrist communicator, Jack summoned the three JackBots he had put on standby mode by his hover jet out in the school parking lot. Due to the large windows taking up most of the classroom's left wall, they made their presence known fairly quickly to the other students. While most of them looked on in awe or steeled themselves for something serious, Jack nonchalantly went up to the window and opened it to let them in.

"These are my JackBots, AKA my pride and joys," he stated proudly as the bots waved at the students. "Equipped with my signature emotion chips - patent pending - my boys get to have the privilege of experiencing the little things that life has to offer, just like Keebo! This includes developing their own personalities and interests."

"I've been taking up knitting recently!" added one of the JackBots.

"You're not very good at it, 24…" the JackBot next to him commented.

"Not all of us are preprogrammed to be expert scarf-makers, 35! I'm still learning."

"I don't know, I thought they were nice," said the third JackBot.

"Thank you, 19. I'm glad someone here actually likes them."

"I was just being honest."

Everyone in the classroom, from the most carefree to the most serious, was transfixed by the display of sheer absurdity before them. Hope's Peak was obviously no stranger to the eccentric (there was a reason Class 77-B was so infamous among the student body), but for the first-years like Class 79, this was the strangest thing they had personally witnessed so far. And they thought having a robot of their own would better prepare them!

However, at least one student managed to collect themselves enough to clap slowly with a widening grin which made Jack slightly impressed.

"Absolutely amazing, Jackie old boy!" Kokichi declared in a way which Jack didn't particularly care for. "You truly are quite the character, that's for sure! So, do you wanna go ahead and spill the beans already or should I?"

"Eh? What are you talking about?" he asked, genuinely confused.

"Oh, don't play dumb like Gonta. It's painfully obvious you're hiding something big from us," Kokichi said ominously as he examined his fingers like it wasn't a big deal. "A mechanical engineer who builds robots, is well-traveled, and apparently gets his ass handed to him by monks of all people? Quite the interesting tidbits you let slip about yourself…"

Suddenly, his face had taken on an appearance more akin to that of a demon as he smiled sinisterly. "Especially that 'evil' comment when you were introducing yourself to Kaede."

All eyes returned to Jack yet again, albeit for different reasons now. Kokichi was a lot of things (a liar, a bully, a "failed abortion" as Miu so gracefully put it), but he was not stupid. He clocked in on there being something up with Spicer the moment he came to Hope's Peak rocking an American school shooter look. And while the rest of his classmates didn't think too hard on his words, Kokichi documented everything suspicious he said in his mental filing cabinet.

Now the fun of cornering the new student could commence! Even the peppy class rep was now eyeing Jack more cautiously, thinking back on his seemingly random slipup with the word "evil". Would Jack stand his ground like Maki did with her big secret? Or would he squirm and fold like Miu does whenever pushback becomes too great to handle?

Unfortunately for Kokichi's lust for entertainment, neither of those scenarios happened.

"Well, yeah. That's because I am evil, like you. What of it?"

His demon face fell. "I'm sorry…'what of it'?"

"Is that why you were acting naughty? Like you had my number or something?" Jack asked with full sincerity. "Dude, I call myself Evil Boy Genius out of habit. It was meant to be my talent before the bigwigs made me settle for Ultimate Engineer. I did consider Ultimate Roboticist, but I also build vehicles and other machines, so I went with the broader title. But yeah, I travel the world with my robots in my quest for global domination. As for the Xiaolin losers, they don't always beat me up! O-Only sometimes…"

The wannabe world conqueror shook his head and stared down Kokichi, his face now unreadable. "Anyway, that's the Jack Spicer evil package for ya. I proudly display all the skeletons in my closet! It's like Halloween all year round for me, heh!"

The Ultimate Supreme Leader was silent. As Jack blathered on about his self-proclaimed evilness, Kokichi merely stared back at him with dead eyes. Eventually, after much internal deliberation, he spoke again.

"...boo."

Jack blinked. "Huh? I know I just mentioned Halloween but why -"

"Boo to you, good sir!" Kokichi shouted. Despite the silly choice in words, he sounded genuinely angry. "I had a whole thing planned in my head, and you had to go and ruin it by wearing your stupid heart on your stupid sleeve! Didn't think a chuuni edgelord could be such a buzzkill, but here we are! Tanaka-senpai is WAY more entertaining than you!"

"I…wait, what?" Jack uttered, only half-understanding what the shorter boy was even talking about. "I don't get you, man, you just said you lead an evil organization! Do you have a problem with another bad guy sharing the same class as you or what!?"

"Nah, not really," Kokichi replied, his emotions shifting from angry to carefree like a light switch. He rested his arms behind his head and smirked like nothing was ever wrong. "If anything, I'm actually more disappointed than I am mad. And that's the honest truth. Cherish it now while you still can, by the way. It's not every day I hand truth bombs out like that."

"...if your master plan was to give me a headache, then congrats. You've succeeded."

Kokichi smiled brightly. "I'll accept this small win for now! But you better sleep with one eye open tonight~!"

Jack involuntarily shivered. He still had no idea what the creep's game was, but he was sure he didn't like it. Perhaps there was a reason Hope's Peak Academy allowed him the title of Ultimate Supreme Leader, after all. Although Jack respected the evil hustle, he certainly didn't consider himself a Kokichi fan. Chase Young was the better evil role model in his eyes.

"What. The! FUCK!?"

And if only Chase was here now to save him.

Miu stomped over to Jack after her outburst, the anger on her face so visceral, it made the evil boy genius shrink in fear. Whatever vague trickery Kokichi was trying to pull had nothing over immediate, violent reactions in Jack's opinion. His mind just worked differently like that.

"You think you can just show up to my class, try to upstage me, and claim some insane bullshit like fucking world conquest!? RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME NO LESS!?" Miu screamed while flipping Jack the bird. "Listen here you poser piece of shit: I am Miu goddamn Iruma, the Gorgeous Girl Genius with the golden brain! My inventions are gonna revolutionize the world, while anything you could ever hope to make rusts away into obscurity! So stay in your fucking lane, bitch!"

While the reaction and language was much harsher than what Jack was normally used to on a daily basis, his pride as a genius took priority over his fight-or-flight response.

"Oh, my inventions will rust away into obscurity?" he challenged, getting up close to Miu until the goggles on their foreheads were touching. "That's funny, because I didn't realize today was OPPOSITE DAY! When the Earth is mine, no one will remember you or your stupid gadgets, and I'll make sure of it! Hell, I haven't even heard of you until now anyway, so I probably wouldn't have to do much! If anybody's the poser, it's clearly you! You're totally cramping my style, sister!"

To the shock of practically everyone, Miu didn't immediately crumple like a sandcastle after being shown some resistance. Instead, she actually stood her ground with something resembling a backbone for once. Although, for someone like her girlfriend, Kaede could see the signs that this was still getting to her. Namely the way her breathing escalated to an unsteady pattern and how her fists shook violently from the sides.

"Miu, Jack, that's enough -!" Kaede started.

"Stay out of this, Bakamatsu!" Miu practically growled as she bore holes into her rival. "This, this fuckin'...piece of…shitfuck needs to be taught his goddamn place!"

"Um, excuse me, sir?" intoned one of the JackBots.

"Boys, I'm kinda busy here…" Jack said as he did his best to match Miu's murderous snarl (while also trying not to break down as well). "Whatever it is, it can wait!"

"Actually, no it can't. Your hover jet is being towed away."

And just like that, all tension deflated so fast and hard, it practically gave everyone whiplash.

Jack slowly and awkwardly turned towards his robots. "...huh?"

"See for yourself," another said as he pointed out the open window.

Jack Spicer and the rest of Class 79 stepped forward to look out the windows. Sure enough, down below in the school's parking lot, Jack's hover jet was in the process of being towed. It was far too long for the truck's crane to properly lift it, so the nose of the craft ended up getting dragged along the asphalt, causing sparks to fly followed by a horrible screeching noise. Students and faculty from both the Main Course as well as the Reserve Course were gathering outside to witness the scene unfold. Even for an Ultimate's vehicle at Hope's Peak Academy, it was not exempt from the same laws and regulations that all other vehicles had to abide by. 

A JackBot swiveled his head to look at his gaping master. "Not to be that robot, but maybe parking so close to the handicap spot wasn't the best call…"

"The left wing was barely going over the line! It's not my fault they don't make the spots wide enough!"

Activating his HeliBot, Jack dove out of the window and flew away to try and catch the tow truck now driving off into the city center.

"Wait, STOP! You're scratching the paint job…!"

The three JackBots were left hovering in place. They turned to each other, then to the students, before finally beeping out a quick goodbye that only Keebo understood before taking off themselves.

A tense silence had befallen the room once again, nobody knowing what to say, if anything at all. Only Ryoma dared to speak.

"This is going to be a long, long semester…"

Chapter Text

Jack Spicer, Ultimate Engineer and unofficial Ultimate Evil Boy Genius, did not have a good first day at Hope's Peak Academy.

Granted, he technically spent the majority of it off campus trying in vain to prevent his hover jet from getting impounded. While he was wealthy enough to pay for the parking violation fines, it would take some time for him to contact his parents and transfer the necessary funds over, as well as converting them to yen. And that's not even mentioning all the annoying paperwork he'd have to sign on top of that. So his hover jet remains in the impoundment lot until further notice.

To add insult to injury, by the time the unlucky villain returned to school grounds, he was scooped up by security and forcibly escorted to the headmaster's office. Despite classes at Hope's Peak being largely optional for most Ultimates, skipping school on the first day as a foreign transfer student was still frowned upon. Thankfully, Jack was at least successful in getting off with a light warning after he explained his situation to Jin Kirigiri, who was mercifully understanding about it.

Unfortunately, he was less successful in convincing the reluctant headmaster to use his pull to sway the police into returning the hover jet outright. Due to the nature of the parking violation, Jin didn't want to risk promoting ableism at Hope's Peak by giving special privileges to a non-handicapped student, even if said violation was on accident. As such, the school had to play by the government's rules if it wanted to avoid getting into a scandal with the press.

From that point onward, Jack decided his second order of business for when he ruled the world would be to increase the standard width of parking spaces. Vaporizing all mimes still remained his first order.

And so the disgruntled young prodigy spent the rest of his evening locked away in his dorm room, tinkering with his prototype Shen Gong Wu Detector. There were still some bugs to iron out, but unless a new Wu revealed itself in Japan, Jack wasn't going to be able to hunt for any more for a while. Without an aircraft, teleporter, or flying Shen Gong Wu, he was effectively left stranded. Relying solely on the HeliBot to fly him overseas would take too long and be too dangerous to attempt.

"Hope the boys back home are doing okay…" Jack said to himself as he rearranged some wires. "They'd call me if something was wrong, and not the good kind. The Xiaolin losers might get suspicious about not running into their favorite villain for a while, but I don't think they'd raid my home just to see where I've been…"

Jack paused as he let his own words sink in for a moment.

"What am I saying? Of course they would. Nosy jerks…it's only cool when I do it to them."

The crimson-haired teen sighed heavily. As much as he adored his creations, he knew the JackBots wouldn't be able to fend the monks off on their own should they decide to attack his base. Especially when half of his forces were guarding the dormitory he was currently staying at; he might as well have left a skeleton crew back home. Had Jack known beforehand that Hope's Peak's security was led by the Former Ultimate Boxer, he might've been inclined to leave more bots to guard his lair.

Still, where he goes, they go. Even if the monks were a little too much for the JackBots to handle, he felt more comfortable having them with him at all times. For sentimental reasons if nothing else.

"Heh, I'd actually like to see those dorks come and get my Wu now," Jack chuckled smugly. "With a highly respected academy like this housing crazy fighters of its own, I've never felt more protected. Hope's Peak might as well be Japanese Fort Knox!"

With Shen Gong Wu on his mind, Jack took a quick break from his invention to check up on the small stash he kept hidden under his bed: the Monkey Staff, Eye of Dashi, Fist of Tebigong, and Changing Chopsticks. They were once part of a much larger haul he had scored thanks to his brilliant ChameleonBot heist. Wuya apparently had big plans involving one "Helmet of Jong" that came along with the loot. Whatever those plans were, Jack never got to find out as he ended up losing most of what he stole in various Showdowns.

First was the Third-Arm Sash in a snowboarding race against Omi for the Falcon's Eye. Jack didn't know it until after the fact, but his opponent had merely been a magic duplicate of the original monk functioning at only a fraction of his usual power and intelligence. That just made the defeat even more embarrassing as a result.

Next was the Two-Ton Tunic during a Showdown in an active volcano. That one was just poor luck and planning on Jack's part. His Wu of choice at the time did nothing but almost make him fall straight into the magma like a sack of bricks. Really, he was just grateful to have even come out of the Showdown mostly unscathed.

Then the Jetbootsu were lost in a cosmic basketball match against Omi and Jermaine, a random street kid the monk had befriended while in New York. Jack was particularly sore about that defeat since he had a bit of a soft spot for basketball. It still baffled him that gravity-defying boots and an autonomous mech for a partner weren't enough to win the game.

After that was the Tangle Web Comb. It did help slow Clay down as they rode on flying saddles looking for the Star Hanabi in a giant, floating haystack. As for the sentient, winged pitchforks looking to skewer Jack like a shish kebab? Not so much.

Then there was the Helmet of Jong, the item Wuya was most keen on protecting. Four different Wu had activated at the same time, and the ancient spirit (fed up with her "partner's" losing streak) made the executive decision to hire three other villains for backup. One of them happened to be ChameleonBot, the shape-shifting android that aided Jack with the initial heist. After being rebuilt, they requested to forge their own path as a bounty hunter, and Jack allowed it out of a sense of evil pride for his greatest creation to date.

Sadly, even with ChameleonBot's help, the four evildoers failed in their mission. Well, technically Jack failed as he was the only one of the group to lose a Showdown, thus allowing the Helmet of Jong to fall back into the monks' hands. Two of the three villains-for-hire ran off with the Wu they were supplied with and won. Only ChameleonBot was loyal enough to give theirs back along with the one they had scored in a Showdown against Raimundo.

Jack ended up losing it immediately in his latest fumble for the Heart of Jong, the apparent sister-item to the Helmet of Jong. That was the final straw for Wuya, and the rest is history.

"Almost makes you wonder if hunting these things is even worth it anymore," Jack sighed, shaking his head at his now meager collection. "I'm honestly cool with just keeping the Monkey Staff. Not like the monks need the extra agility from it."

As the melancholic megalomaniac eyed his unfinished Wu Detector and briefly considered connecting it to his e-Handbook for future convenience's sake, his door opened. On instinct, he shoved the magical artifacts back under his bed out of fear that the monks were breaking in to take them. Thankfully, it was just the JackBot he had stationed outside his dorm room.

"Sir," saluted the bronze automaton.

"What's up, 19? Also, please knock next time. I was in the middle of something."

The JackBot's red photoreceptors briefly flickered in embarrassment. "Oh…you mean that thing human males do alone with their -"

"NO! God, no, not that!" Jack denied in a shrill tone. The flashbacks of him being interrupted by his creations during private time still haunted him. "J-Just tell me what you want…"

"Sorry, sir. You have visitors waiting for you outside."

Jack raised an eyebrow at this. "Visitors? It better not be that Juzo guy and his goons again. If they wanna drag me somewhere else, tell them they don't have to manhandle me this time."

"It's not the head of security," JackBot 19 reassured. "It's two of your classmates. Kaede Akamatsu and Miu Iruma if my memory banks are correct. They wish to speak with you."

This took Jack by surprise. What could they possibly want from him late into the evening? Whatever it was, he scowled at the mention of the Ultimate Inventor's name.

"Oh. In that case, tell 'em unless it's an emergency that requires an evil genius's touch, it can wait 'till class tomorrow morning."

"Yessir."

With instructions given, the robotic minion hovered out of the room, leaving its creator to continue working on his latest project in peace.

Said peace was soon disturbed by loud, aggressive knocking followed by loud, aggressive comments.

"Answer the fuckin' door, Jackoff! Quit playing with yourself and get your ass out here! We ain't leaving otherwise!"

Jack loudly groaned in equal parts annoyance and secondhand embarrassment.

"Holy shit, babe, didja hear that? I think he really is yankin' it in there! HAH! 3,000 yen says he's getting off on the mental image of my rockin' tits~!"

The boy genius quickly slapped a hand over his mouth in mortification. With a face that now matched the color of his hair, he stormed over to his front door just as the JackBot re-entered through it.

"Me again, sir. Your classmates insist that -"

"I heard!" Jack hissed through clenched teeth as he swung open the door to be met face-to-face with the two blonde students. The one with a similar style and talent to Jack looked rather proud of herself while her musically inclined partner appeared ashamed to even be present.

"Just for the record: I was not groaning from self-pleasure," the Ultimate Engineer stated sternly to his fellow Ultimates.

Miu dropped the smug act for a moment to gaze at him quizzically. "Not that I give a rat's ass, but why else would you be groaning in there? Assuming you weren't stroking your micro, that is."

"Oh gee, I don't know. Maybe it has something to do with a vulgar woman banging at my door, screaming like a banshee," Jack bit back with a glare, one that was surprisingly successful in making the arrogant inventor flinch a little. "How did you find out which dorm room was mine anyway?"

Kaede sheepishly raised her hand. "I, uh, asked our homeroom teacher. She was planning on visiting you herself after you unintentionally skipped school on the first day. But I convinced her to let me handle it. Figured you'd prefer a classmate you're somewhat familiar with check in on you rather than a teacher you have yet to meet."

"Not like we needed her to give us his room number anyway," Miu commented with an eye-roll. "The building with robots gangbanging it was a pretty goddamn obvious sign. Seriously dude, you're making the dormitories look like something out of a sci-fi dystopia. It's making Keebo anxious."

Oh crap, is it? Jack thought worriedly. Maybe he's not used to seeing other robots with advanced AI like him. It did kinda sound like he was an only bot growing up. I might have to ask him about it later.

"Well, I had to put them somewhere, 'genius'," snarked the boy genius. "I wouldn't have so many of them on outside guard duty if the dorms here were big enough to house them. Elite boarding school my foot…"

Before Miu could counter his backsass with some of her own, Kaede politely interjected. "You could always store them in your Research Lab. Hope's Peak doesn't skimp out on those, so there should be more than enough room in there."

Jack blinked owlishly. "Research Lab? What are you talking about?"

"You…don't know?" Kaede asked in return, just as confused. "They're facilities tailored for every Ultimate to hone and develop their talent. Headmaster Kirigiri should've brought this up to you when you enrolled, didn't he?"

In reality, he did. However, Jack - being the scatterbrain he often is - only half-listened to Jin when he held that in-person meeting with him. The villain-in-training was too busy daydreaming about his prospects of world domination increasing tenfold now that he had been accepted into Hope's Peak's hallowed halls. Although he did make sure to respond with the occasional "uh-huh" and "yeah" like any genius too smart for something as beneath him as school.

Miu cackled loudly and obnoxiously, much to the mild shock and annoyance of Jack. "Hah-hahahaha! Either Sherlock Hoe's daddy is getting dementia, or Jackoff here was too busy thinking about touching himself to pay attention!"

"Alright, If all you came here to do was to insult me, my GuardBots will show you the way out now," Jack said pointedly.

"No, wait!" Kaede pleaded before he could close the door on them. "There actually is something we wanted to say to you. Or, more accurately, something Miu wanted to say. Isn't that right, Iruma?"

The once haughty inventor had instantly been reduced to a meek, timid girl thanks to her girlfriend's stern glare and tone of voice that indicated no more nonsense would be tolerated. She shook like a leaf as she looked at Kaede and Jack.

"B-B-But -"

"No buts. We talked about this already. It'll be easier to just say it now and get it over with; rip the band-aid off."

Miu pouted rather pathetically at being scolded like a child by her partner. Nevertheless, she composed herself, took a deep breath, and stared at Jack with a defeated grimace.

"I'm…sorry."

The engineer did a double take. "What?"

"I said I'm fuckin' sorry, okay!?" Miu exploded with barely contained frustration. She was clearly not used to apologizing. "For all the shit I gave you back at class! Don't get it twisted, I still think you're high as a kite for all that crazy talk about 'world conquest'. But it was…ugh, wrong of me to have been so hostile the second you walked in. So for that - and that alone - I apologize. Christ…"

"Oh…" Jack uttered, totally unprepared for this. "Well, uh, apology accepted. I guess."

For as clueless as he could be, even he knew Miu was only doing this at her girlfriend's behest. While the insincere apology itself meant very little to him, the fact Kaede went out of her way to try and make things somewhat better between them was…unexpectedly touching. Jack was accustomed to others shrugging him off without looking back, so for a new classmate of his - a cute one at that - to extend an olive branch took him by surprise.

"Awesome!" Kaede proudly cheered with pumped-up fists. "How about you two shake on it to really make it official?"

"I'd rather not," Jack said simply.

"Yeah, screw that, Kaediot. Making me apologize to him was insulting enough, I ain't shaking his hand. Especially not after where it's been."

"I WASN'T MASTURBATING!"

Speaking before thinking has been a long-time problem for Jack Spicer, and this moment was a prime example of why. Despite having instigated the outburst, Miu hid behind Kaede once he raised his voice suddenly. Her girlfriend, meanwhile, merely stared wide-eyed at him with a blush on her face. Jack mirrored his class rep's expression the second the words left his mouth.

A nearby thud made the three turn their heads to its direction, a welcome distraction. They discovered it came from a fellow student who was just about to enter his own dorm room before dropping a convenience store bag. Nobody had even noticed him entering the hall until now. He had short light-brown hair, dark circles under his eyes, and was staring at his new neighbor like he had just witnessed him commit a murder in broad daylight.

"Uh…AH, um, s-sorry!"

Once it registered that all eyes were now on him, the skittish Ultimate picked up his dropped goods and clumsily unlocked his door to get inside before quickly slamming it shut. Jack turned to angrily face Miu.

"Great, thanks to you, my neighbors probably think I'm some kind of horndog now!"

To Miu's credit, she was able to bounce back fairly quickly with her signature scowl. "No, pretty sure the Studio Ghibli reject thinks you're a try-hard mad scientist with all your robots swarming the place."

"Oh Miu, honey…" Kaede sighed with a patient yet tired smile. "I love you and everything, but you're one to talk about someone being a 'try-hard mad scientist'."

While watching the pianist's insecure girlfriend feebly defend herself proved to be somewhat amusing, Jack felt that enough time had been wasted already. And so he made his intentions to be left alone again known.

"Welp, this sure has been…something. But if you ladies are done with me now, I've got some 'Ultimate Engineering' stuff left to do, so -"

Once again, Kaede interrupted Jack from closing the door, this time by sticking her foot in the way. She flashed him a quick and embarrassed smile.

"Hehe, uh, sorry for being annoying, but there's actually one more thing I wanted to speak to you about. Preferably in private if that's okay? I promise I'll be quick about it so I can get out of your hair!"

Jack stared at the oddly insistent class rep, stole a quick glance at JackBot 19, and briefly considered having the droid shoo the girls away. But the much friendlier blonde's demeanor and actions thus far admittedly warmed Jack up to her a little bit. Kaede may have been a textbook teacher's pet from what he's gathered, but she was certainly far kinder to him than others from his previous schools. That much alone had earned her enough favor with him to humor the request.

I really hope I'm not going soft with this one, thought Jack, grateful that Miu couldn't read minds lest she make another dirty innuendo. He sighed before responding.

"Yeah, sure, that's fine I guess." Opening his door some more, he gestured and asked, "You wanna take this inside or were you thinking outside?"

"The fuck you think you're doing, inviting my Kaediot inside your cum cave!?" Miu questioned intensely. "Just 'cuz I have a guilty pleasure for NTR doesn't mean I want a real-life ugly bastard stealing my girl!"

"Ugly!?" cried an indignant Jack.

"Sweetie, I appreciate the concern, I really do. But there's nothing to worry about," Kaede reassured in a gentle tone, taking her girlfriend's hand and caressing it. "This isn't me about to run off with someone else or anything of the sort. I just want to ask him something, then leave him to enjoy the rest of his evening. That's all."

The soothing aura the Ultimate Pianist was giving off easily broke through the Ultimate Inventor's defenses. Miu's tough-girl façade fell apart, and she stared at Kaede with watery eyes and a scared expression on her face.

"Y…You p-promise…?" she whimpered, barely holding back a sob.

"I promise," her girlfriend said softly yet with all the conviction in the world. For good measure, Kaede gently lowered Miu's head and planted a kiss on her crown. Something about that simple gesture must've done something to set the girl genius off, for she practically threw herself onto Kaede and held tight. The pianist was more than content with rubbing her trembling partner's back in return.

Oh no. This is actually really sweet, thought Jack. Do not be swayed, my black heart. Miu is still an annoying Spicer wannabe and you are still going to rule over everyone. School's not about forming relationships, it's about getting out as fast as possible so you can move on to more evil pastures!

"Now, you can either wait out in the hall or head back to your lab where we'll meet back up. Your choice," Kaede offered after her comforting hug session with Miu concluded.

"Tch! Like hell I'm just gonna walk out on you alone in a room with that creep. I'm stayin' put. He tries anything on you and I'm kicking him in the family jewels!"

Kaede giggled even as Jack hovered a protective hand over his crotch. "I doubt it'll come to that, but it's nice to know you have my safety in mind. Don't worry, this shouldn't take us long."

With reservations out of the way, Jack awkwardly invited the Ultimate Pianist into his dorm while leaving Miu outside with his JackBot. Kaede made a point to remove her shoes before entering, to which the owner of the dorm realized he still had his on without even realizing. But since neither girl was giving him grief over it, he figured it wasn't that big of a deal. They probably expected this from a foreigner with different customs (not to mention Hope's Peak itself seemed to be a hotbed for counterculture anyway).

As Kaede idly inspected the room, she approached the bed and noticed the evil engineer's Shen Gong Wu Detector with its electronic guts spilled out.

"Oh! I take it this is what you were working on before we interrupted?" she asked innocently.

"Uh, yeah, just a little something for myself," Jack answered stiffly as he removed the device off his bed so Kaede could have a place to sit. "Sorry, it's just that, well…you're kind of the first real girl I've ever had in my room."

Obviously, he didn't count his own mother or little cousin, Megan. Nor did he count Wuya or Ashley, the Cat Woman copycat that ran off with some of his Wu. There was also Kimiko, the only female Xiaolin monk that would occasionally break into his lair along with her friends. Yes, it would seem the boy genius didn't have the best track record when it came to girls entering his space.

"Heh, yeah, I guess that would make this a little weird on your end, wouldn't it?" Kaede awkwardly chuckled before clearing her throat. "In that case, let's try not to make this weird together! I know we can do it!"

"Sure…" Jack muttered as he pulled up his desk chair and sat across from Kaede. "So anyway, what is it you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Nothing too serious, just wanted to make sure my new classmate was doing alright after what happened this morning. How's the, uh, hover jet by the way? Were you able to get it back?"

Jack sighed. "No. I gotta wait 'till my parents pick up the phone so I can have them transfer the money to pay the fine. That jet was my only ride home, so I'm kinda stuck here until then."

"Oof…" Kaede uttered with an empathetic wince. "That's rough, I'm sorry to hear it. How come your parents haven't been responding to your calls?"

"They're high-stakes entrepreneurs that go on business trips around the world. If they're not chatting with brokers on their phones, they almost always have them on silent."

Kaede stared at Jack for a moment with creased brows and a concerned frown etched into her features. "Even for their own son…?"

"Yeah, they suck," he answered with a careless shrug. "In other news, the grass is green and the sun rose this morning."

Kaede's frown only deepened at that. Jack also noticed how she had begun tapping her fingers on her knees, likely a nervous tick. But the movements weren't random, they appeared intentional, almost as if she were performing a real melody on the keys. Even her feet were subtly moving like they were operating piano pedals, again in a way that seemed as though she were playing a real piece that she had practiced ad nauseam. It was as weird as it was impressive if she didn't even have to think about doing it.

"Y'know, Jack…if you ever need someone to talk to, Hope's Peak has the Former Ultimate Therapist for guidance counseling. But if you're not comfortable with that, just know Shuichi and I are there to lend an ear or be a shoulder to cry on; I've been told we're pretty good listeners. You're not alone when it comes to having familial trauma…"

Jack sat up straighter as he eyed the sincere blonde. "You…know what it's like having crappy parents too?"

"Hmm? Ah! Uh…n-no, not personally," she shamefully admitted with a blush. "Mom and Dad are actually very supportive of my piano endeavors. I was just speaking broadly. I've come to learn that a lot of students here sadly don't have the best home life. For example, even though it's hard to discern the truth from Kokichi's lies, we're all pretty sure he is or was an orphan."

"That would certainly explain a lot," Jack grunted while leaning back in his chair. "But dontcha think it's a little ironic that a school all about 'spreading hope' has a lot of students with sob stories? Feels kinda antithetical to the institution if you ask me."

"Hey, we're still only human. Ultimate or not, people have their own personal baggage and demons to contend with," Kaede stated earnestly with a mildly annoyed expression. It softened as she continued, "But, in a way, that's kind of the reason why a place like Hope's Peak exists. Not only do we strive to make the world a more hopeful place than when we found it, but to also find hope within ourselves as well."

They stared at each other for a moment.

"Did you get that from the brochure?"

The sweatered girl crossed her arms and pouted. "Sheesh, you really are like a male version of Miu. Only less profane and raunchy somehow…"

"Eh, that's not really my style. Not to say I'm above it or anything, but it just isn't me," Jack explained with a light shrug. "Speaking of that living train wreck, how'd she land a girl like you anyway? She doesn't seem like your type. Unless you're into bad girls?"

Caught off guard from the change in topic, Kaede smiled sheepishly while rubbing the back of her neck. "Hehe, yeah, I tend to get that reaction when people find out who I'm dating. It's a long story, some details of which I'd prefer to keep private out of respect for my girlfriend. But let's just say I'm lucky enough to see a softer side to Miu that she likes to keep hidden. I guess you could say that's what attracted me to her in the first place…"

Shaking her head from her reminiscing, Kaede took back the reins of the conversation. "But enough about the pianoholic with questionable taste in women. I wanna focus on you right now! Tell me, what do you think of your new class so far? Miu notwithstanding for obvious reasons."

Now it was Jack's turn to be caught off guard. What brought on this sudden interest in his thoughts?

"You want my two cents - err, yen? Whatever the Japanese equivalent to a penny is."

"That would be a one-yen coin," corrected the Japanese. "I don't think Japan has that idiom, but I guess the expression would be, 'to give my two yen'?"

"Right, well, you know what I'm saying then. So why do you care exactly?"

Kaede tilted her head in confusion. "Is it wrong for me to care about what you think?"

"I…guess not?" Jack hesitantly conceded. "I dunno, I'm not used to having a classmate so interested in my opinions. All of my old ones either kept to themselves or picked on me for having albinism. Kinda surprised none of you said anything about it, actually. Not that I'm complaining."

"Oh geez, I'm sorry for bringing up bad memories again. That sounds awful," empathized Class 79's rep. "But you don't have to worry about people picking on you for your condition. As you've probably noticed, Hope's Peak doesn't discriminate against superficial stuff like that. It's why school uniforms are barely a thing here in the Main Course! Even though Ishimaru-senpai is trying to convince the headmaster to more regularly enforce them…"

Realizing she had allowed herself to get sidetracked yet again, Kaede lightly slapped her cheeks. "Okay, no more tangents! Thoughts on the class, GO!"

"Oh! Uh…they're fine, I guess?" Jack answered as honestly as possible. "Mostly neutral on them. There are some I actually wouldn't mind getting to know while a few I don't care for at all. You don't need me to say who for who, you were there."

"Right, right. I figured as much," Kaede said with a nod. "The reason I asked is because I would like for everyone in Class 79 to be friends. Or at the very least be comfortable with trusting each other. A lofty goal, I know, but a nerdy piano girl's gotta branch out from her comfort zone, y'know?"

"What do you mean by that?" asked Jack.

"Hmmm. Okay, how do I explain…?" Kaede asked herself before giving her best answer. "I play piano not just because I think it's fun, but because I like making people smile and inspiring would-be pianists. However, it's come to my attention recently that I…don't really have any other hobbies outside of that. So I thought, 'Why not learn more about myself by doing what makes others happy for a change?'. It's kind of like composing my own Prelude No. 1 in C Major but for my practical life!"

Jack stared at the girl with a scrunched up face. The visible confusion was not lost on Kaede as she attempted to explain the analogy for her explanation.

"Yeah, you don't know what I'm talking about, do you? Um…it's part of a bigger piece by Johann Sebastian Bach called Well-Tempered Clavier. The Prelude can stand on its own, and it's often used to showcase the beauty of the piano to those looking to get into it without overwhelming them with complicated chords. That's sorta what I'm trying to do for my school life: get to know my classmates one-by-one before eventually having us all be close friends with one another."

The pianoholic slumped her shoulders in self-defeat, though a playful smirk remained. "God, I'm never beating those 'Piano Freak' allegations, am I? Heh…"

You said it, is what Jack thought about saying before holding his tongue. For all her obsessions with a certain instrument, Kaede had still earned his respect by virtue of simply not shutting him out socially. The least he could do was show her the same courtesy. He may have been evil, but he wasn't completely heartless.

"Nah, I get it," Jack reassured with a dismissive wave. "It's pretty commendable of you to want to make sure we all get along and sing kumbaya. But I'm gonna have to be brutally honest and say that I don't see myself getting chummy with everyone, nor do I really want to for that matter."

The determined extrovert didn't back down. "I understand that. Believe me, it was difficult to get some to play nice, and not everyone is SUPER friendly to each other yet; Kokichi and Miu are prime examples. But I'd be a pretty lousy class rep if I didn't make an effort to try and make it work regardless. So, if nothing else, could I ask you to at least attempt to befriend them? I know it won't pan out well with everyone, but reaching out to your classmates might make them think, 'Hey, this Jack Spicer guy is alright. Maybe I should give him a chance'!"

"Uhhh…y-yeah, sure, whatever," uttered Jack as he looked away. "Just don't set your expectations too high."

"Thank you. One more question and I'll get out of here. Okay?"

"Shoot."

Kaede took a deep breath before hitting Jack with the big one: "What's with the 'evil' shtick if you don't mind me asking?"

Oh great. Here we go again...

"It's not a shtick and there's nothing more to it. I'm evil and that's that," he answered in a terse manner.

"Woah, alright! Touchy subject I see…" placated Kaede with raised hands. "Guess that means you weren't lying like how Kokichi lies about his 'evil' organization, huh?"

"I'm still not 100% sure there is such a thing, much less him being the Supreme Leader of it. But I can tell you right now that I have nothing to gain for lying about my status as an evil genius. Sure, I do a little lying myself, but that's what we villains do. What you see is what you get, and I ask you not to question my morality any further. Now are we done here?"

What had been an impromptu but mostly pleasant one-on-one with his classmate had soured into a subtle interrogation, and Jack was in no mood for it. With his tone and words making it clear that Kaede had overstayed her welcome, the Ultimate Pianist frowned and stood up.

"Right, of course. I've kept you held up long enough. Thank you for indulging me. I'll take my leave now."

Bowing slightly, Kaede Akamatsu moved near the front door to slide back on her brown shoes. While Jack maintained his cold exterior, a part of him couldn't help but feel genuinely guilty over driving the girl away like that. Still, he had his pride and dignity as a supervillain, and nothing got on his nerves faster than people questioning his legitimacy.

Even if it was just for the sake of getting to know him better.

"Shoot, almost forgot!" Kaede rummaged through her backpack for a moment until she pulled out her e-Handbook. She turned to Jack, "Do you have an online handle? I was meaning to add you to our class group chat before the thing with the hover jet happened. Might as well end this on a somewhat high note, yeah?"

Raising a brow, Jack answered slowly. "It's evilboygenious, with an added 'o' before the 'u' in genius. And before you say anything, that wasn't a spelling mistake I made a long time ago and never corrected. It's called being ironic."

"Gotcha. Luckily, I took English classes as an elective at my old high school, so I should be able to find…Aha! There you are!" Kaede said to herself as she searched up Jack's username and tapped her tablet. "Just sent you the invite link. Class group chats are supposed to be used for educational purposes, but it's just an easier way for friends to stay connected. Be warned though: Miu and Kokichi like to spam memes."

"Duly noted," Jack acknowledged as he went up to the door to open it for his leaving guest. As he did so, they found Miu in the middle of a conversation with JackBot 19 as she held her phone up to his faceplate. Whatever was happening between them, it was causing the robot's internal systems to drastically heat up, if the dangerously audible sounds of the internal cooling fan were any indication.

"So yeah, if you want 35 centimeters or more, just hit me up and I can -" Miu cut herself off along with whatever horrors were on her phone screen the moment she noticed the two back in the hall. "Fuckin' finally! Took ya long enough!"

"I know, I'm sorry, things got a little carried away and - !"

Kaede didn't get to finish her explanation as she was suddenly pulled in by her erratic girlfriend and patted down as though she were going through the TSA.

"He didn't touch anywhere inappropriate, did he!? You might be flat-chested compared to me, but he better not have groped you or I swear to Christ!"

They look to be about the same size…Jack shamefully thought once Miu brought the improper subject matter up. He did his best not to think about it much, but at the end of the day, he was still a teenager and they were really cute busty girls.

"Babe, I'm fine, honest! He didn't make a move on me. Also, I know you're just doing this as an excuse to fondle me yourself."

"No I'm not."

"You're literally groping my boobs right now. And cut it out, will you!? He's right in front of us!"

The Ultimate Engineer considered taking a cold shower later tonight.

As if sensing his inner hormonal turmoil, the Ultimate Inventor looked to him with a sly smirk and half-lidded eyes. "Take a good, long, throbbing hard look. You ain't never getting in on this for as long as you live, perma-virgin. Savor the sight of two hot bombshells getting up close and personal~"

"Bye now."

With the harsh annunciation of his words not having the desired effect of making Miu fold, the strawberry-blonde rolled her eyes before strutting away with her flushed girlfriend in tow. Jack watched them go about as far as the corner and yelled out one more thing to his new rival before they turned out of sight.

"And don't let the door hit you on the way out, Iruma!"

All he got in response was a middle finger trailing behind the inventor before disappearing around the corner.

"Man, that chick is getting on my nerves fast..." sighed Jack in frustration. He turned to JackBot 19, whose chassis was still visibly hot to touch. "Do I even want to know what she was talking about and/or showing you?"

"Negative…" the automaton stated in a stereotypically emotionless tone despite there being an emotion chip installed. "Requesting a memory wipe of the past five minutes and twenty-six seconds…"

Jack sighed again as he let the poor machine inside to relieve its anguish.

Chapter Text

An electronic bell rang throughout the school.

"Oop! And that's lunch! I will see you all in half an hour."

Jack quietly sighed to himself in relief when both the bell and the teacher dismissed the class. Not because the lesson was particularly difficult to grasp – far from it, in fact. It was mind-numbingly simple! For someone as gifted as Jack to skip a handful of grades back at his old schools, sitting down and pretending to listen to lectures about subjects he was already keenly familiar with bored him to no end. Even at a prestigious academy like Hope's Peak, the educational system was an utter joke to the boy genius.

Had he not unintentionally skipped class on his first day, Jack would've more than likely played hooky on his second. But seeing as how the headmaster already chewed him out for yesterday's off-campus excursion, the Ultimate Engineer played it safe and showed up for the next day. To his surprise, he found all of his classmates attending as well, even though he swore the standard curriculum was more or less a formality for Hope's Peak's Main Course. He suspected this had something to do with Kaede's infectious insistence on having everyone in Class 79 bond together.

Either that or some of these students really did need the education. Gonta's caveman-like speech suggested as much.

Aside from unwittingly setting off a whoopee cushion Kokichi had planted in his seat (Was that seriously his revenge for what happened between us yesterday?), Jack's morning had been largely uneventful. It once again served as a reminder that he could be making better use of his time than sitting in a classroom all day; be it fine-tuning his Shen Gong Wu Detector or just making more robots. Although to make meaningful progress in either, he'd need a proper lab with the proper materials.

But now that it was lunchtime, the opportunity for Jack to find his Ultimate Research Lab had finally presented itself!

As the rest of the students filed out of the classroom and made their way down one end of the hall, Jack went straight down the opposite end, consulting the map on his e-Handbook. Since it had a layout of the whole school and its related facilities, logic would dictate the directions to his Research Lab were included as well. So all he had to do was follow his pixelated guide and -

"Jack?"

Exhaling through his nose in quiet frustration, the engineer turned his head around to find it was Kaede who had called out to him. While the rest of the class moved on ahead, the rep had lagged behind the moment she noticed Jack darting off in a different direction. Miu stuck to her girlfriend's side, but she was clearly impatient as indicated by the dramatic tapping of her foot and the annoyed scowl that plastered her face.

"Aren't you coming with us to lunch?" asked the Ultimate Pianist. "The cafeteria's this way."

Scratching underneath the collar of his trench coat, Jack uttered out his response. "Uh, yeah, actually, I kinda wanted to check out that Research Lab thing you mentioned last night. Y'know, see what the school's giving me to work with and all that."

"Oh…right," Kaede reluctantly said with a nod, nearly forgetting that detail herself. "Fair enough. But to be honest, I was kind of hoping you'd join us for lunch for the first time. We usually try to make it a point to all eat together as a group. And since you're the newest member of our class…I thought it'd make it all the more special, y'know?"

Sheesh, we'll already be seeing each other's mugs every weekday! What more do you want, girl?

Ironically, Jack's irritable inventor rival would be the one to give him an out. "GAH! Forget about this chud, Bakamatsu! Let's go already! Teruteru is helping out in the kitchen again, and you know what that means~"

"We'll need to hold Tenko back so she doesn't throw him across the room again?"

Miu playfully nudged Kaede's shoulder. "AND that greasy pig will give us a bigger serving if we show him a lil' nip slip! Just let my bombastic boobs do the talking like always and we'll be feasting like fuckin' queens! Hah-hahahaha!"

Kaede gasped in embarrassment before lightly slapping her cackling girlfriend's arm. Ignoring how little of an effect it had on her, the pianist sighed before turning to Jack again with what could be best described as a languid smirk.

"Alright, well, you have fun checking out your lab. But you are joining us for lunch tomorrow; no excuses! I'll make sure Kirumi saves you a plate. Though knowing her, she's probably already prepared for that."

Jack could believe it. Just this morning, at the ungodly hour of 6 PM, the Ultimate Maid had knocked on his door to politely offer her services again. The young night owl couldn't recall exactly what Kirumi was trying to do for him (something about changing his sheets?), but he tiredly ordered his JackBots to shoo her away so that he could sleep in an extra hour before being forced to get up for school. At the very least, she didn't seem to take the rude dismissal personally once he showed up to class more lucid. With how dedicated the woman apparently was to her role, Jack had a feeling this wouldn't be the last time something like this happens.

Musings aside, the albino nodded as Kaede and Miu went to catch up with their fellow classmates, the former scolding the latter for her inappropriate behavior.

"I have no idea what she sees in that girl," Jack said to himself while shaking his head. "Oh well, not like it's any of my business. Time to find my new evil lab!"

With renewed vigor, the boy genius took to the academy halls, nose deep in his e-Handbook's map display. According to the data, most students' Ultimate Research Labs were prefabricated into the various facilities located throughout campus. For example, the Ultimate Neurologist's lab would naturally be in Hope's Peak's Biology Building, whereas the Ultimate Pharmacist's lab could be found in the school's medical wing right next door to the Ultimate Nurse's office.

Jack thought more work could've gone into organizing the facilities better, but he supposed it was the best the academy could do. From what he's heard, this place undergoes renovations more often than he makes specialized JackBot variants.

"Looks like they set up my lab somewhere in the 'Applied Sciences Building'," Jack said to himself while stepping out into the school's plaza. "I better not be neighbors with Miu if her lab is also there. Wait, shouldn't the Ultimate Neurologist and Pharmacist's labs be in that building as well? Don't those count for applied science? This layout is confusing…"

To clear his head from questionable architectural development and planning, Jack took in his surroundings. It was a bright and sunny day at Hope's Peak, much to the albino's chagrin. Even if the increased potential of getting sunburnt wasn't something he had to contend with, he was just never a fan of this type of weather to begin with; far too happy and cheerful for his liking. And seeing other people enjoying themselves only compounded these frustrations.

Dozens of students had decided to take advantage of the nice day and have their lunch outside. Some ate with their friends on the benches scattered throughout school grounds, while others held mini picnics on the perfectly cut grass. Jack took note of two students – one from the Reserve Course given his uniform and a short-haired girl with a cat hoodie – playing video games by the fountain as they ate bento boxes. The sounds of an intense Pokémon battle could be heard even from a distance.

"They're lucky I don't have my DS, or I'd crush 'em with my Magnezone," Jack chuckled before checking the map again. "Maybe some other time. Got important business to attend to."

Keeping to the shades provided by the trees, the evil genius skulked around campus until he eventually reached the Applied Sciences Building. The outside wasn't anything special, and the front lobby was pretty standard too. Initial impressions so far weren't looking too good. But if a certain puzzle box had taught Jack anything (for better or for worse), it was to never trust a book by its cover. And this basic yet valuable life lesson paid off as he reserved his judgment until he found the hall leading to his Ultimate Research Lab.

Once he double-checked the e-Handbook to confirm he was at the right spot, Jack examined the door. Much like the others he had passed, it was actually already stylized in a way that reflected both his talent and personality. The door was pitch-black with red silhouettes of nuts, bolts, and screws lining the frame. Two larger white silhouettes of wrenches formed an "X" cross in the middle of the door. Above that was the model of a skull, one eerily similar to the emblem he adorned on his robots' chassis as well as the strap buckle for his HeliBot.

If Jack didn't know any better, he'd say this was the room of a hardware store pirate rather than his own Ultimate Engineer Lab.

"Well, they may not have agreed with my Ultimate Evil Boy Genius submission, but at least they kept the spirit," he said to himself, mildly pleased with the small compromise. "Now, let's see what's behind Door Number 1…"

After a brief moment of figuring out that his e-Handbook doubled as a keycard to unlock the electronic padlock on his door, Jack entered the Research Lab. His jaw figuratively and literally dropped to the floor at what he bore witness to.

Jack's Ultimate Engineer Lab was, by all accounts, a truncated version of his main lab back home. It didn't have all his personal equipment or machines (that would've been cause for alarm if it did), but it did come with the same dark, oppressive, grungy atmosphere that his evil lair provided. Top-of-the line tools and materials hung on the walls and lined the shelves. High-end programming computers were nestled neatly in the back corner. And the pièce de résistance? A technological workbench with overhead lights sat as the crown jewel in the middle of the room. It even had a map of the Earth displayed on its LCD surface, just like his old one back home.

To call it all uncanny would be the understatement of the century and then some.

Rubbing his now sore jaw, Jack carefully wandered further in as he expressed his thoughts aloud. "WOW. Okay…so Kaede wasn't lying when she said Hope's Peak doesn't skimp out on Research Labs. Now I see where most of the budget goes."

After giving silent thanks to all the rich parents of the Reserve Course students, Jack examined the initial batch of supplies the academy had provided him with. It looked to be on par if not above the usual quality he was used to working with back home. Robot parts weren't cheap, and his family was loaded enough to give him the money necessary to fund his projects. But he would often have to wait weeks for his next allowance whenever he ran out of materials. However, money was clearly no object to Hope's Peak Academy, and if they could give him whatever he wanted whenever he needed?

"I could increase my workflow tenfold!" Jack laughed, his evil glee getting the better of him. "Oh man, this is almost too easy. It's like they want me to rule over them all as fast as possible! Who knows, maybe there's a secret shadow committee that's really running Hope's Peak and they're discreetly pushing me to act in their evil interests. That would explain how they got all the details down…"

The villainous rookie nearly jumped out of his pale skin when a second voice made itself known. "Is talking to nobody in a dark room not a sign of mental illness for most humans?"

Jack already knew it was K1-B0 before he even turned around to find the Ultimate Robot standing at the threshold of his lab, a confused expression on his faceplate. Where did he come from so suddenly? Had he been following Jack? If so, he was more stealthy than he looked.

"Oh! Hey Keebo. Didn't hear you come in. Or see you on the way for that matter. Say, aren't you supposed to be at the cafeteria with the rest of the class?"

Raising a mechanical brow at having his question ignored in favor of another, Keebo acquiesced to Jack's query. "I was. But once Kaede explained where you had gone, I excused myself to come and see you. Besides, it's not like I can consume foodstuffs anyway. I can go a day without looking at everyone else's lunch."

"Ah, right. Makes sense," Jack said with a small nod. "Does it bother you that you can only watch people eat food? Maybe that's something to bring up to your professor-father."

"It's funny you mention that: Miu has actually been meaning to install a proper eating mechanism in me!" Keebo delightfully explained, casually inviting himself into Jack's lab without realizing it (not that it bothered the owner). "Ever since she invented these robot-friendly chocolates for me, she promised to add that to her list of projects! Although she's been kind of busy lately, so it might take a while…"

If I were her – yuck by the way – I'd make it my top priority, Jack thought with frustration. While he was somewhat impressed/proud of Miu for going out of her way to make special chocolates for Keebo, her putting his desires off annoyed the robot-maker. Granted, his JackBots never expressed an interest in eating, but he'd gladly take time out of his schedule to figure out how to make it work if they ever did.

"Y'know, I could install an eating mechanism for ya if you want," Jack offered as he idly took a soldering gun off one of the walls to closely inspect it. "Robots are my specialty. I may need access to your blueprints so that I don't mess anything up, but it shouldn't be out of my range. Just give me a week tops and you'll be a food junkie before you know it!"

Keebo's expression became complicated as he processed Jack's words before answering. "Ah…thank you for the offer, Jack, but I'm afraid I'll have to decline. Miu already promised to add that function first and I'd like to respect her kindness. Plus, she's the only student at Hope's Peak that's become familiar with my systems thanks to her regular maintenance. I trust her with my body more than I do you…no offense."

"Oh…" Jack uttered, failing to hide the fact it stung to have a robot reject him in any way. "Yeah, no, I get it. Your body, your rules. I just thought that…if the whole 'not eating' thing was bothering you so much, I could make it one of my first school projects or something."

Keebo raised a hand to reassure Jack. "It's quite alright. I'm in no rush to try human food. Miu will invent a permanent solution whenever she has the time." He cupped his metal chin before quietly muttering, "You do seem to hold the same genuine passion for machines as her though…"

"You say something?" Jack asked while rubbing his ear.

"Uh, n-no, nothing at all!" lied Keebo. Luckily for the Ultimate Robot, the Ultimate Engineer accepted the obvious diversion with total sincerity. With how he witnessed his new classmate interact with Kokichi the other day, he couldn't help but worry how he'd fare against the Ultimate Supreme Leader's more clever lies in the future.

"Soooo, I take it you just came here to chat then?" Jack asked as sat in front of his new workbench with some assorted tools and materials in hand. "Not that I mind. Beats talking to myself like you just saw, heh."

"In a sense, yes, I have come here to speak with you," Keebo confirmed as he stepped in front of the workbench. "There's something I feel needs to be discussed between the two of us."

"Lay it on me, robobro," Jack said as he happily sorted his scrap like a kid playing with LEGO.

So when he looked up at Keebo and noticed his serious and unamused faceplate, he stopped what he was doing and frowned at the reaction.

"Do you abuse or mistreat your robots?"

And that intense question took the wind out of Jack's sails. The engineer reeled back in his seat, did a double take, blinked, and stuttered out a response.

"I, uh…come again?"

"Do you, or do you not, mistreat or abuse your robots?" Keebo reiterated sternly. "It is a simple 'yes or no' question."

"I-I know that!" Jack whined, defaulting to defending his social intelligence. He dialed it back when Keebo's glower further deepened. "I mean…no, I don't mistreat or abuse the JackBots. I would never dream of it. Where is this even coming from?"

Keebo straightened himself and tapped his temple with an index finger before explaining. "According to my memory banks of yesterday, you openly admitted to being an 'evil genius' hellbent on conquering the world with your 'JackBots' as you call them. Based on my research of human pop culture thanks in part to Shirogane-san, it is a common trope in science fiction for mad scientist characters to try and take over using robot armies. Now, whether or not your villainous identity is simply a fabricated persona similar to Oma-san's is irrelevant to me. Either way, you may be taking cues from harmful representation of robots in the media, and I cannot in good conscience allow this."

Jack stared blankly at Keebo after the android's long-winded and verbose explanation. After a beat, he meekly raised a finger as he hesitantly asked him a follow-up question.

"Uh…could you put it in layman's terms, please?"

"I wasn't even using big words, how -!?" Keebo started an angry rant before cutting himself off. He closed his photoreceptors, simulated a believable breathing exercise, and tried again.

"Very well then. What I'm getting at is I believe you may be engaging in subconscious robophobic behavior. And as the Ultimate Robot created by Professor Idabashi, it is my duty to combat prejudice against my kind!"

Jack gulped as his thoughts ran rampant. Uh-oh. So that's what this is about, huh? Guess I should've anticipated this. It wouldn't be the first time I've had to have this talk with a sentient machine, nor is it going to be the last. Better defuse the situation before Keebo gets the wrong idea about me.

"Keebo, I hear you, I understand where you're coming from. But I can assure you that I am not robophobic," Jack said in his best calming voice, slowly raising his hands up to emphasize his disposition. "Remember how I explained that the JackBots have emotion chips? That means I made them to be self-aware like you, because I care about them. Would a robophobe do that?"

The teenage robot raised a finger in preparation to dispute his classmate's claim, only to falter instead. After a moment of averting Jack's gaze, he responded.

"I…suppose not. I have also been meaning to look into your 'emotion chips' to verify their processing power. My father's research into my own AI is a trade secret, and I'm curious to see how your robots' AI compares."

"If that's what it takes to earn your trust, then sure. I could show you the schematics sometime," said Jack. Normally he'd be opposed to exposing his own technological secrets, but if it would give Keebo a sense of relief, then he considered it a worthwhile sacrifice.

"Thank you, maybe later. Now, assuming the JackBots are indeed on my level of sentence, I must ask: why did you not design them to look more human, like me?"

Jack raised a brow at this. "What do you mean?"

"If you truly value their individualism, why not design them with a more humanoid appearance?" elaborated Keebo. "Why make them all look like generic robot minions you'd find in an anime or cartoon? On top of that, their voice modules don't even reflect their smart AI; it's just a flat intonation with an auto-tune filter! Having them look and sound exactly the same is a racist stereotype! And it doesn't help that their faceplates are perpetually stuck in a scary gaze 24/7!"

While Jack wished to keep things as civil as possible and respect Keebo's opinions, even he was starting to get a little fed up by now. His robotic classmate may have brought up some admittedly valid points, but he didn't know the JackBots personally. He didn't pour blood, sweat, and tears into making them like Jack did. So for him to write off his would-be distant cousins as racist stereotypes struck a nerve in the evil boy genius.

Jack stood up from his chair and matched Keebo's hardened expression. "Hey. I know you mean well, but this self-righteous attitude ain't gonna fly. Robots come in all shapes and sizes, just like humans. The JackBots' current design happens to stem from a personal place, so I'll thank you not to dismiss their looks. Also, I make it clear to each of them that if they want me to modify their appearance, all they gotta do is ask. I've had some come up to me requesting legs or monowheels, while others wanted a different chassis. Hell, just last month one asked for a more human-sounding vocabulator, just to try it out. TL;DR, I listen to my boys, and I think I know them better than you do."

Keebo's stern face faltered for a moment, not expecting such a strong counterargument from his new organic classmate. Still, his pride as the Ultimate Robot prevented him from yielding so easily, and he practically growled out his defense.

"A human speaking on behalf of robots is still grounds for robophobia! Even if you know your JackBots better than I, you're not one of them! You couldn't possibly understand the struggles machines like us have to go through on a daily basis. We're either walking novelties or objects of fear and ridicule to the general public. And seeing as you are clearly a robotics engineer, you have a certain responsibility – nay, obligation to represent us in a positive light!"

"That may be true, but acting like you know what's best for my boys when you've only just met them is presumptuous!" Jack insisted hotly, face beginning to turn red without him realizing. "Are you implying that because I can never fully know what it's like being a robot that my own opinions 'don't count'? Sorry, but as someone who's built and grew up with plenty of bots all his life, I call bull! I tighten their bolts, I change their oil, I talk to them more than I do my own kind! The JackBots are more than my friends, they're my family!"

Jack leaned in to Keebo's unreadable face with bravado that was not forced like in his Showdowns against the Xiaolin monks. This wasn't a physical battle where he'd lick his wounds and return to fight another day. No, this was an ideological battle that put his treatment of the JackBots into question. It was uncomfortable, and he'd rather be doing literally anything else right now. But he wasn't going to stand here and let someone criticize his methods with a holier-than-thou attitude. It didn't even matter to Jack that his impromptu debate opponent was a robot himself. If Keebo wanted to start an argument, then he was going to get one as Jack would do with any human.

He just hoped Keebo would recognize his logic of respecting his wish to be treated equally by not bowing the knee simply because he wasn't a robot. Blindly going along with whatever he had to say without thinking would only be damaging to both sides in the long-run.

"But if my words aren't enough to convince you, then by all means, go talk to any one of them yourself. I'm sure they can provide you with the insight that I lack as an organic. But don't be surprised when they give their own takes on the subject because they have minds of their own. Believe me, most of 'em would hardly listen to me if we didn't share a mutual level of respect and trust that spans years."

An uneasy silence befell the two Ultimates. Both students were unwavering in their beliefs, and the tension between them rivaled that of the 1962 Cuban Missile Crisis. Neither side wanted an outright fight to occur, but it was clear that if the argument continued in this direction, one of them might do something they would come to regret later. Keebo understood this well and, being the better bot, chose to take the high road by calming things down (albeit with some reluctance).

"You're right, that is only fair and logical," he sighed while releasing the pressure in his servos. "In fact, I was already planning on asking them about it myself. I just wanted to hear your side of the story before I confronted them. Context is important, or so I am told. Not to mention it would be in bad faith if I talked to your robots first and not you."

Seeing Keebo make an honest effort to keep the discussion civil again, Jack slowly relaxed his muscles and sat back down in his seat.

"Well…thanks for taking the balanced approach then. I guess," he awkwardly said while crossing his arms, unsure of what to do with them at the moment. "Uh…I do mean it when I say you should bring it up with the boys though. Not because they'll vouch for me but because you're right: I can't ever truly know how you feel as a robot. So hopefully they'll bring you a sense of closure."

Keebo nodded, his eyes wandering at the equipment in the room as his "cowlick" which Jack suspected to be an antenna drooped in embarrassment.

"Yes, and thank you. I, uh, should apologize for my previous intensity. As you've probably figured out by now, robot rights and discrimination is something of a touchy subject for me. I have a bad habit of letting it get under my skin sometimes and exploding on people who usually don't deserve it. Figuratively exploding, by the way, not literally. It annoys me that I even have to clarify, but some people genuinely believe we all come with self-destruct buttons for some baffling reason."

Jack thought it best not bring up the JackBots' hidden emergency self-destruct buttons should they want to go out on their own terms. Sometimes they just weren't in the mood to give the monks the satisfaction of crushing them before escaping into his cloud network.

On that note, he also decided against mentioning how they were technically built for combat purposes. With how sensitive Keebo was to perceived robophobia, having him learn about the JackBots' frequent destruction in the battlefield would surely give the Ultimate Robot a malfunction similar to a heart attack. Jack could only pray that the Xiaolin monks wouldn't dare attack him at Hope's Peak once they inevitably discover where he's been.

And if they WOULD dare? Better hope Keebs isn't around to see it…Man, I sure have been using the word "hope" a lot lately, haven't I? Guess that's bound to happen with a school called "Hope's Peak". Oh great, I've been saying and thinking "hope" for so long now that it doesn't even sound like a word anymore!

Pulling himself out of the linguistic nightmare of his own making, Jack returned Keebo's nod and apology. "Yeah, and while we're at it, I'm sorry for getting all up in your face. Literally, too. You were well within your right to be concerned about my boys' well being – which I do appreciate, just so you know. I should've been more level-headed about it. In a way, we're kinda in the same boat of wanting robots to be more included in society. So I tend to get defensive when people insult my JackBots."

"Completely understandable," Keebo agreed sagely, faceplate once again hardening, but this time it was not directed at Jack. "While I would like to prove my worth as an Ultimate other than by virtue of merely existing, I also take great pride in my people. If you humans were supposedly created by other beings according to some religions, then how are us robots any different? We all walk on the same planet and live under the same constellations. So why must we be seen as second-class citizens or something!?"

He stopped himself from ranting about no one in particular and settled for crossing his arms in annoyance. "Ugh, damn robophobes…"

"Have you been picked on by anyone since attending this academy?" asked Jack while leaning back in his chair and crossing a leg over his thigh. Despite his more relaxed nature, he was genuinely worried.

"Uhhh…yes and no? Yes, because quite a few students have the obvious assumptions about robots that you've come to expect. Even if I may have overreacted looking back on it. And no, because Hope's Peak is otherwise pretty on point with stomping out blatant discrimination and racism. Although that hasn't stopped Kokichi from testing the limits with his constant teasing about all the functions I 'should' have as a robot. The less said about some of them, the better."

Jack groaned, "I'm starting to despise this wannabe Supreme Leader more and more. He's got the evil look and laugh down, but he's giving me the impression of a stereotypical bully antagonist. And those types of villains are so one-note and forgettable."

Keebo blinked, awkwardly readjusted his antenna ahoge, and simulated coughing into his fist.

"Uh…right. Well, if it eases you any, I have reason to suspect his robophobic remarks aren't made out of pure malice. Rather, he simply does whatever he can to get a rise out of his classmates for his own entertainment. With all the self-admitted lies and juvenile attention-seeking, it's possible he just has trust issues and this is his own weird way of wanting to get close to us. At least that's what Kaede has suggested to me."

"Well, he sure has a funny way of showing it then. And by 'funny', I mean 'not at all'," Jack grunted, somewhat confused on why Keebo was willing to be slightly more lenient with Kokichi of all people. Did it have something to do with simply knowing the brat longer? Or was it because he didn't casually make robots in his sleep like Jack does? Hard to say…

"Indeed. I still have much to learn about human behavior, as you do with robots," Keebo concluded wisely before giving the boy genius a soft smile. "Perhaps we can learn together during our school life here at Hope's Peak Academy? It would be a fitting way to live up to its namesake."

For Keebo's sake, Jack restrained himself from pretend-gagging at the thought of doing something as good as inspiring hope. Because aside from that, he honestly didn't mind the idea of opening his mind to new perspectives in robotics he hadn't thought of. With any luck, he might even incorporate some of that knowledge into his JackBots to further strengthen his bond with them. After all, everyone loves an evil boss who is nice to his minions!

"Yeah. I'd like that," Jack said simply. To seal the deal, he reached his hand over the workbench, inviting Keebo to lean over for a handshake. The android took the hint and shook on it.

But it was in doing so that Jack made a surprising discovery…

"Oh, wow…your grip isn't as strong as I was expecting. Not that I'm complaining since it saves me the trouble of broken fingers, but still…"

"Ah, yes, I do get that a lot…" Keebo admitted shyly with faint red lights glowing just below the surface of his cheeks to signify embarrassment. "Back before I gained self-awareness, I almost fatally injured Professor Idabashi in a lab accident. I was so overcome with real grief for the first time that my AI reset itself and developed into what it is now. Since then, Father has taken the precaution of giving me below average human strength. It's on par with that of a senior citizen."

…

Okay, on the one hand, totally reasonable on the professor's part. I'd probably do the same. But on the other hand…ULTIMATE. ROBOT.

Ignoring or seemingly unaware of Jack's internal bout, Keebo smiled proudly with his frail hands on his hips. "Anyway, I believe our business here has concluded for now! Thank you very much for your time, Spicer-san! I'll be sure to commit this memory to my database for when I speak to your JackBots. Still not crazy about the name or the basic number designations you assign to them…but I'll let it slide this time."

"Uh, r-right," Jack uttered before shaking his head to get over the shock of Keebo's grandma-arms. "I'd recommend asking for JackBot 1 specifically; he's the oldest model. We go way back and have had similar talks like this to the newer bots. He'll explain things better than I could."

"Understood. My internal clock indicates we only have around 10 minutes left of lunchtime, so I'll wait until after class to do it. Until then, I leave you to your Research Lab."

The two classmates waved at each other as the Ultimate Robot made his way out of Jack's Ultimate Engineer Lab. Once he was sure Keebo was out of earshot, he sighed loudly and collapsed in his chair.

"Jesus-fucking-Christ, that could've gone badly," he moaned into his gloved hands. "All those talks I've had with the newer JackBots, and it never gets any easier. Why does being evil have to be so complicated sometimes…?"

As Jack collected himself, his hyperactive mind thought back to one of his previous worries during the conversation. Namely his role as commander-in-chief of his own robot army. It was obvious that Keebo would take a huge issue with him using the JackBots to fight battles. He was honestly pretty lucky that point got lost somewhere in the argument and never had the chance to resurface. But what if the Xiaolin monks came to attack him at school and he needed to be defended? Would Keebo find it in his mechanical heart to understand?

"As long as their AI and memory files are constantly backed up on the cloud, they're functionally immortal," Jack mumbled to himself while idly playing with the forgotten tools and materials scattered before him. "Try as humans might to understand robots, there's no ignoring the fact that we come from completely different worlds. The concept of death doesn't translate the same way between us. Does Keebo know this deep down and doesn't want to admit it? Would he even accept it if I or the JackBots had to break it to him…?"

Jack let the question trail off, waiting for a convenient answer to appear out of thin air. Sadly, even with the existence of magic items like Shen Gong Wu, that was wishful thinking.

The Ultimate Engineer gazed around the lab and at all the materials in it. Speaking of Shen Gong Wu…

"Well, at least I can finish the detector with all this now."

Best to focus on the present. Just because world domination is but a few years away, doesn't mean Jack shouldn't work on getting a head start.

Chapter Text

“Jack? Are you awake? Do you require any assistance? Spicer?”

The evil boy genius's eyelids felt like lead weights as he mustered what little energy he had to reluctantly open them. Groaning heavily, he slowly raised his head up from out of his arms as his groggy brain attempted to boot up once more. 

At first, Jack was left confused by his surroundings; he didn’t remember getting back home to his evil lair. It wasn't until he saw the Shen Gong Wu Detector before him surrounded by a mess of parts did it click that this was his Research Lab at Hope’s Peak, cleverly designed to replicate his old lair. The Ultimate Engineer had dozed off at some point after school yesterday tweaking his latest invention. Far from the first time something like this has happened in the past. 

However, Jack couldn't recall when he had last felt this drained and restless. Perhaps his talk with Keebo the other day left him more stressed than he thought…

At any rate, the redhead focused his newfound attention to the voice that had ripped him from the clutches of sleep. A gothic maid stood stoically beside him, although a subtle hint of concern shined through the eye that wasn't obstructed by silver bangs. 

“Kirumi…?” Jack managed to groan. 

The Ultimate Maid nodded patiently. “Correct.”

“...how did you get in here? The door's locked by my e-Handbook.”

Jack's classmate directed his waning attention to the door to his Research Lab, currently wide open, and explained. “Under normal circumstances, that is true. However, it seems you left it ajar last night. I couldn’t locate you in your dorm room this morning, so this was the next place I looked.”

Kirumi returned her gaze to Jack, now feeling embarrassed by his carelessness, and added, “A word of advice: always make sure to lock your dorm and Research Lab. Aside from it being a good habit to get into, Kokichi has a tendency to snoop through other people's belongings. He's been put on watch after an incident with Maki’s lab, but it’s better to be safe than sorry.”

Jack's embarrassment quickly morphed into mild panic, causing him to wake up a little more. The thought of the Ultimate Supreme Leader getting his grubby hands on Jack’s Shen Gong Wu was a living nightmare just waiting to happen for everyone involved. The only reason he wasn’t immediately rushing out of the lab to check up on his stash was the JackBots still guarding the dormitory. They should be more than enough of a deterrent to keep Kokichi from sticking his nose where it didn’t belong. 

Still, I really should start remembering to lock up anyway, thought Jack. Wuya’s constant nagging never made me want to listen to her. At least Kirumi here is being polite about it. 

While his mind was back on the subject of the maid, Jack stiffly climbed out of the seat he had fallen asleep in and said, “Duly noted. Anyway, what didja need me for? In fact…what time is it?”

“Seven o’clock sharp,” responded Kirumi dutifully whilst ignoring Jack’s incredulous expression. “You didn’t respond well to my presence at six in the morning last time. So I decided to see if giving you an extra hour to wake up would yield better results. Should I go for eight o’clock next time?”

Rubbing the vestiges of sleep from his eyes, Jack composed himself before responding. “Try 12 PM, bare minimum. It should be obvious by now that I’m not a morning person...”

“I would comply with this request, but you would already be late to class by that point.”

Jack groaned, “WHAT do you want from me?”

Unbothered or unfazed by the engineer’s growing frustrations, the maid simply took out a notebook and pen from a pocket in her apron, poised and ready to jot down anything at a moment’s notice. 

“Seeing as you are my new classmate, I have yet to receive a list of your cleaning, catering, and personal preferences. That is why I attempted to visit you yesterday morning - apologizes for the past inconvenience, I will keep your fluctuating sleep schedule in mind henceforth. Now, let’s begin with an easy question: how often do you like your pillows fluffed?”

This was all too much and too early for the young night owl to deal with it at the moment. Jack shook his head and held out his hand, causing Kirumi to cease writing in her notebook before he even had a chance to give her any notes. 

“Stop, stop, TIME OUT!” He demanded, taking a deep breath before continuing in a considerably calmer tone. “Kirumi…why are you so insistent on waiting on me hand and foot? I mean, we’re just classmates; we hardly even know each other for crying out loud! Don’t you think what you're doing right now is a little weird and…I dunno, excessive? ”

The silver-haired teen stared back at the redhead teen, blinking owlishly. As Jack waited awkwardly for a response, he couldn’t help but think how oddly robotic Kirumi was being about all of this. Ironic given his knack for creating emotional robots, as well as one of their own classmates being a sentient android himself. Both the JackBots and Keebo could be rather punctual at times, but hardly to the degree Kirumi was displaying. 

After what felt like an eternity, the Ultimate Maid elegantly flipped her notebook closed. She did not pocket it, however, and finally spoke again. 

“I understand my dedication to serving others as a maid may be…difficult for outside observers to comprehend. But it is simply my duty in life to provide quality service to those around me. Selfless devotion is my core principle, and I take great pride and joy in what I do. I wouldn’t be the Ultimate Maid if I wasn’t passionate about my role, now would I? So when you think about it, I really am no different to you, my classmates, or any of the other students attending this academy.”

Kirumi's face suddenly scrunched up slightly as she cupped her chin, remembering something. “Well…except for Kuwata-senpai. His passion lies outside his talent for baseball, something which I have been helping him pursue alongside another upperclassman. But my point on the matter stands regardless. Was this answer satisfactory to your query?” 

Now it was Jack’s turn to stare blankly at Kirumi. On the one hand, he understood where the young woman was coming from. Building robots and other machines has always been his lifelong hobby next to plotting for world conquest. Even if they weren't the most effective at stopping the Xiaolin monks, he could never bring himself to stop trying to improve his craft. He was a mechanical engineering genius at his core, and nothing would ever change that fact.

But on the other hand…

Who actually likes doing chores for others this much!? WILLINGLY!?  thought Jack incredulously. I know making others do stuff for me is kinda my end goal with taking over the world. But this…feels wrong somehow. And not in the way that I'm normally cool with either. I don’t know why.

Jack’s private talk with Kaede quickly sprang to mind without warning. She mentioned how a lot of students at Hope’s Peak often have personal baggage or inner demons to contend with. And while that's far from a startling revelation with high schools in general, for an academy of gifted juveniles with talents possibly bordering on the supernatural (that was still something to look further into), it made Jack a little concerned for Kirumi's mental state. Just how much did she truly enjoy picking up after others? What made her like this to begin with? What was she repressing underneath that pristine maid persona? 

Whatever psychological hang-ups Kirumi may or may not have, Jack didn’t feel like testing the floodgates any further. Perhaps it was best to simply go along with her desire to attend to his needs. After all, she was offering. 

“Uhhhh…yeah. Sure. My query's been satisfied…I think,” Jack answered slowly and with the confidence of someone who didn't study before a big test. Apparently, it was good enough for Kirumi, for she flipped her notebook back open to the page she was previously writing on.

“Very good. If we may resume?”

And so, for the next couple of minutes, Jack Spicer struggled to provide the Ultimate Maid with a list of mundane chores and instructions that he wouldn't even bother his robots with:

“What brand of soap and detergent do you normally use?”

“Um…whichever one smells the nicest?” 

“Do you have any allergies that I should be aware of or food that you dislike?”

“I'm allergic to liver and I hate onions. So no liver and onions anytime soon, thanks.” 

“How regularly would you like me to dust your lab and dorm room?”

“If I see any cobwebs forming, I'll let you know.”

“Is your trench coat machine-washable or can it only be washed by hand?”

“...leather is supposed to be washed?”

“...”

Without warning, Kirumi quickly unbuckled the strap to Jack's HeliBot and swiftly removed his trench coat from off his body, all without tearing anything. The boy genius was caught so off guard, he didn't have the time to realize what was happening to him until a second after it had already been done. On instinct, he covered his chest despite already having his favorite Frankenstein's Monster graphic tee underneath. 

“I will put everything on your workstation back to where it was and hand wash this,” Kirumi said sternly, shaking his coat in her gloved hand. “You, meanwhile, return to your room to freshen up for breakfast. I will have your coat clean and ready for you on your bed by the time you finish showering. Run along now.”

Despite the professionalism, the maid’s tone made it clear that there would be no room for debate. As Kirumi folded Jack’s coat and proceeded to put away his tools and scrap, the albino stared wide-eyed at his classmate. Perhaps Kokichi’s mocking insistence on referring to her as the “class mom” was not unfounded after all.

“Oh, uh…o-okay then,” Jack said dumbly while slowly walking out the door, legs on autopilot. “I’ll, uh - I best be going now, I guess…”

Right before he stepped out into the hallway to return to his dorm room, Kirumi imparted one last piece of wisdom: “Please don’t forget to scrub behind the ears. Those are often the most neglected parts of the body when cleaning oneself.” 

Jack was not sure how to feel about this particular classmate of his.

Before following Kirumi's vaguely passive-aggressive orders to hit the showers, Jack made checking on his Shen Gong Wu stash his top priority once he made it back to his dorm. Thankfully, the mystical artifacts were still secured under his bed just as he last left them, and none of the JackBots reported any unusual activity that night. The evil genius almost felt foolish for worrying over Kokichi of all people breaking into his room to steal his stuff. Even if his title as the Ultimate Supreme Leader was valid, Jack doubted the enigmatic prankster posed a threat to his operations like the Xiaolin monks did.

But just to air on the side of caution, he left at least one JackBot on Wu guard duty before sending the rest off to his lab to recharge for the day. He promised the droid extra sleep-mode hours for pulling a double shift. 

After drying off from the shower and putting on some fresh clothes, Jack’s mind wandered as he applied new evil markings under his red eyes with some eyeliner. 

What is up with this academy? It's like a magnet for attracting all the world's weirdos - myself excluded. Are all the students here this strange or is it just my class? Guess that remains to be seen. Still, all things considered, it beats my old school by a landslide. Aside from Miu, Tenko, and I guess Kokichi, nobody's been outwardly hostile to me. In fact, most have been rather…friendly. Or not too annoying at the very least. Heh, who knows? I might just give ‘em promising positions within my evil federation if they play their cards right. 

Jack smirked in the mirror as he slipped his goggles back onto his forehead. Thoughts of his very own regime marched in his mind, accompanied by a sweeping and despotic orchestra. Daydreaming about world domination always made the engineer feel like he could do anything. It made him want to step outside and take to the skies, feel the wind soar through his hair and-

Jack’s feel-good moment crashed and burned as he just realized something. 

Wait…did I forget my HeliBot back at the lab?

Indeed, when Kirumi had stripped him of his coat, she had to undo the latch on the device. And Jack forgot to pick it up in his shocked stupor. 

Terror seized the albino’s heart. That HeliBot was a gift from his grandmother when he was just a little boy with big, evil dreams. She was the only family member who not only acknowledged his existence more than once a month, but also supported his ambition to rule the world. Being a tinker herself, she made the HeliBot for her grandson when he was eight-years-old as a late Christmas present before her passing. It was more than just a convenient tool to him; it held significant sentimental value. 

Bursting out of the bathroom door, Jack was prepared to make a mad dash back to his Research Lab. This preparedness was short-lived, however, when he found himself crashing into the metal frame of the lone JackBot he had stationed in his room.

“Where’s the fire, sir?” questioned the floating automaton as its creator fell to the ground. Once again, Jack accidentally proved that metal beats squishy flesh in a head-on collision (unless you were a superpowered monk). 

“22, why were you in front of the friggin’ door?” the redhead growled as he got back up. “These dorms aren’t that small y’know!”

“Sorry. I was just about to come let you know that one of your classmates dropped some things off. They’re your personal belongings.”

It was only when Jack got back up on his own two feet did he notice the robot carrying some things in his clawed hands. Namely his trench coat all neatly folded, his Student e-Handbook (seems he forgot that too), and-

“Heli!”

Jack quickly snatched the mechanical pack from atop the pile, bringing it close to his chest in a tight hug. Relief soon washed over him as he reunited himself with his most treasured device. 

JackBot 22 asked, “Is everything alright? It’s not like you to leave behind your HeliBot for someone else to return. Your clothes and school supplies, that’s one thing. But never your HeliBot.”

The evil genius paused his loving reconciliation with his flight pack to give his robot the stink eye. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Uh…nothing, sir!” JackBot 22 placated. “I just find it unusual for an unaffiliated maid to come in with some of your most important items.”

Oh, right. Kirumi.

“Yeah, uh, what was that about, anyway?”

The JackBot explained, “Well, I was guarding the Shen Gong Wu under your bed as instructed when a knock came at the front door. When I answered it, a maid claiming to be your classmate said she was finished…washing your coat? Then she handed it to me along with your HeliBot and tablet before leaving. You’ll find a note here.”

JackBot 22 pointed a claw at the sticky note attached to the back of Jack’s e-Handbook with a spider web theme, much like the one on Kirumi’s apron. Jack shivered slightly at the design. The maid may have been somewhat goth-adjacent like him, but spider imagery was never an anesthetic he liked. Next to clowns, those eight-legged abominations were his worst fear.

Clutching his HeliBot like a security blanket, Jack picked up the note and read its contents, thankful that Kirumi used white ink on black paper. His already less-than-stellar vision would've made it even harder if it was written with regular black ink.

Spicer,

I have seen to it that your coat has been thoroughly hand-washed, pressed, and ironed. I strongly urge you not to sleep in your work clothes next time and to bring me your dirty laundry every Sunday so that I may include it in my next workload. Also, in your haste, you seem to have left your e-Handbook and flying device. I took the liberty of locking your lab with the former after tidying everything up and returning them both to you along with your coat. 

While I would like to remind you once again to try and not be so careless, I am afraid I am partially to blame for your short-sightedness this time around. I deeply apologize for my momentarily brazen attitude towards you back at your lab. Cleanliness and personal hygiene are something I take very seriously, and despite being…past due on your laundry, I had a lapse in judgement. I promise that this sort of behavior from me shall not happen again. 

Once you have gotten dressed, I would appreciate it if you accompany the class for breakfast at the behest of Akamatsu. I do not believe you have joined the group chat yet, so I am letting you know now. We will be dining under the gazebo in the school courtyard. May you enjoy the rest of your morning.

- Kirumi Tojo

“Wow. She really crammed all of that into one sticky note…” Jack commented in astonishment after reading. “And she already finished washing my coat? That’s gotta take like…an hour tops!”

“Does it really take that long to hand-wash a single article of clothing?” asked JackBot 22. Had he been built with mechanical eyebrows, he would've raised one by now. 

Jack shrugged. “Beats me, I’ve never done it. But if so, then I guess that’s the will of the Ultimate Maid for ya. First that Linguist and now her…there's something beyond just being ‘talented’ around here. If the Shen Gong Wu have taught me anything, it's that there's more to this world than meets the eye.”

The machine beeped in quiet agreement, handing its master his e-Handbook before hovering near the bed again to safeguard the treasure beneath. 

Donning his iconic trench coat and HeliBot once again, Jack stepped out of his dorm room, this time remembering to lock it after failing to do so multiple times by now. When he walked out of the building, he looked around for a bit, scratched his head, and then sighed to himself. 

“Man, this high school is more like a university, and a huge one at that. How am I supposed to find the meetup spot when the campus grounds are as big as Central Park?”

Jack was stumped, annoyed, and - worst of all - hungry. But a few seconds later, he slapped his head in realization. 

“Oh, right, HeliBot. Duh! I need to get some brain food and fast…”

Remotely activating the device strapped his back, Jack’s machine protruded its propellers and hoisted him off the ground. The crisp, cool morning air helped to reinvigorate the boy genius now that he was airborne and had the whole school to scope out below him.

“Alright, let's see…” he muttered as a mechanical arm with specialized binoculars attached at the end appeared in front of him. “Looking for a gazebo, gazebo…heh, that's a funny word. Gazebo. Where do people come up with these names…? Aha! Target spotted!”

Sure enough, Jack was able to locate the structure with an amusing name in the middle of a flower garden. Through the high-tech binoculars, he could make out his colorful classmates digging into the impressive spread laid out before them. Kirumi was also seen rolling up a catering cart stacked with even more breakfast food items. 

The sight made his stomach growl. When the Ultimate Maid saved Jack a serving of yesterday’s lunch, the taste was unlike anything he had ever experienced. It genuinely made him wonder how he managed to live life up until now without it. If there was one student at Hope’s Peak Academy guaranteed a spot on Jack’s “People to Give Special Treatment to After World Domination” list, it was the Ultimate Cook responsible for the flavor sensation. 

The HeliBot automatically retracted its binocular arm extension as Jack flew over to the gazebo. As he did, a cheeky idea sprang to mind that he simply could not pass up on. Instead of landing on the ground in view of everybody, the Ultimate Engineer gently hovered himself atop the roof, only deactivating the propeller blades until he was sure he had decent footing. Unfortunately, some of the students were already catching on to his presence, audibly questioning if that was him above their heads. 

Even with the surprise ruined, Jack committed to his bit and hopped down in front of the class.

“Hello there,” he said in his best Obi-Wan impression. 

While everyone else was left confused, Tsumugi didn’t miss a beat with the reference. She pushed her glasses up in a confident manner and responded accordingly.

“General Kenobi. You are a bold one.”

Jack smirked proudly at the Ultimate Cosplayer. “Keep that up and I’m afraid you’ll have to become my new best friend.”

“It might already be too late,” Tsumugi said with a smirk of her own, crossing her arms in self-satisfaction. 

“Wait, that was a Star Wars thing?” Kaito asked while scratching his head. “I don’t remember that in any of the movies. And they’re what inspired me to want to explore space as a kid! What gives!?”

Before Jack could flex his Wookiepedia knowledge on the Ultimate Astronaut, Tsumugi beat him to it. “ Episode III - Revenge of the Sith. When Obi-Wan confronts General Grievous on Utapau to kill him and end the Clone Wars. C’mon, Kaito, even uncultured normies know that much! It’s literally in the film!”

“Hey! I just said they inspired me! I didn’t watch ‘em religiously or anything!” Kaito retorted indignantly. “It’s been a hot minute since I’ve seen that one!”

“Shameful,” Tsumugi harrumphed, shaking her head in disappointment. “You’re no better than those moms who call every Pokémon they see a Pikachu…”

“When did we switch franchises!?”

“Both of you, be quiet,” Maki warned with an intense glare. It was quelled slightly when she took a sip of the cup of orange juice she was nursing. “It’s too early in the day to be arguing over kiddie stuff.”

While Kaito tried to defend his honor and Tsumugi glumly prodded at her eggs, Kaede took initiative and smiled at Jack. The engineer noticed how the pianist's inventor girlfriend (and his unwitting new rival) was absent at the moment. For his sake, he hoped she overslept this morning much like how he would've done.

“Good morning, Jack!” Kaede said a little too brightly for his liking. “Glad you decided to join. I know what I said yesterday about making sure you eat lunch with us next time, but I thought I’d shake things up and organize a little breakfast gathering. It is the most important meal of the day, after all!”

Actually, I think it’s overrated, Jack thought to himself. He more often than not skipped breakfast to jump straight into lunch, all the while subsisting off snacks in between meals. The only reason he was as hungry as he was right now was due to being woken up even earlier than usual and staying up late last night working. So he abstained from sharing his controversial opinions on the world’s most sacred mealtime. 

Funnily enough, Kokichi would not only reveal to have shared Jack’s thoughts on breakfast, but also voice them on his behalf (unknowingly of course).

“Hmmmm, I dunno about that, Kaede~!” he commented while building a makeshift seesaw out of his utensils to fling grapes into his mouth. “If you ask me, breakfast being the ‘most important meal of the day’ is a lie created by cereal companies to get you to buy their products. Then other companies adopted that lie for themselves, and before you know it? You're suddenly ostracized for daring to not eat breakfast! You all claim to hate it when I lie, but are fine when big industries do it? Curious…”

Sensing that Kokichi was yet again trying to stir up trouble by undermining the class rep, Ryoma spoke out. “So how come you’re out here eating with us? Not like anybody's forcing you at gunpoint.”

“Because it’s free food and Kirumi makes the best french toast!” replied the supreme leader with a shit-eating grin. 

“Hang on…Kirumi made all of this?” Jack asked in astonishment as he stepped up to the gazebo and gazed at the wide selection of available food. There was french toast, waffles, pancakes, cereal, fresh fruits, omelets, bacon, sausages, and even some Japanese options like miso soup. It was practically an all-you-can-eat buffet!

“But of course,” confirmed the maid herself as she went to refill Shuichi's coffee. “While the academy’s kitchen staff and Hanamura-senpai are more than capable of providing quality meals, I prefer to cook and serve them myself whenever possible. Catering makes for the quintessential maid, Ultimate or not.”

“Yeah! And I trust Kirumi's cooking way more than the degenerate male filth that calls himself ‘Teruteru’!” Tenko declared…passionately. “Seriously, out of all the degenerates here, he is by far the WORST! How has he not gotten expelled yet!? More importantly…why do they trust him with preparing food!?”

Jack still wasn’t used to Tenko’s open disdain for men, and he had yet to meet this Teruteru character in-person. But if the implications about him being a pervert were true, then the aikido master’s outrage towards him was probably more justifiable. In fact, Jack was starting to second-guess keeping Teruteru around after his inevitable rise to power. He’d have to see how creepy the man was for himself before deciding. 

“Yoohoo~! Foreign buddy!” 

A melodic voice called out to Jack. He quickly tuned out Tenko’s misandrist rant and directed his attention to Angie. The cheery islander waved him over while patting an open spot on the bench next to her.

“Come, come! Sit next to Angie! Atua has saved this seat just for you! How divine!”

Jack frowned. He was actually hoping to sit next to Keebo or even Tsumugi. But the respectful evil genius didn’t wish to potentially offend Angie’s culture by refusing the seat her alleged god apparently saved just for him. Thus, with a defeated sigh, Jack obliged and sat down next to the Ultimate Artist. 

“Yayyy! This makes Angie so happy, happy, happy!” she cheered, hugging Jack from the side unprompted. “I was super bummed out when you skipped out on lunch with us yesterday. Very naughty of you. But Atua says that antisocial behavior of yours ends here and now! So let us eat and be merry, ‘kay?”

“Uh, yeah, sure thing…’foreign buddy’,” agreed Jack reluctantly, prying Angie’s arms off of him so that he could start piling the plate in front of him with food. 

“Angie sure seems to have taken quite a liking to you, Jack,” Keebo commented from across the table, his plate naturally being left barren for obvious reasons. “I suppose not being born in this country will spark that sort of shared comradery in people. Honestly, I can’t help but feel the same despite having been made on Japanese soil.”

“GASP! What's this? Keeboy’s betraying his country!” Kokichi cried in a faux shocked voice. He turned to address the Ultimate Entomologist. “Gonta, punish the robot for his insubordination. Please and thank you!”

The quiet giant sitting next to the rambunctious goblin paused his eating to look confused. “In-so-board-nation? Gonta not know what big word mean, Kokichi, sorry. But why must Gonta punish Keebo? Keebo is friend! Punishing friends is not gentleman way!”

“Gonta’s right, Kokichi. Stop trying to get a rise out of Keebo again,” Kaede gently but firmly warned from her seat. 

“Awww, but it’s so much fuuuuuun! And he makes it so easyyyyyy! ” Kokichi complained, the mischievous grin still clear as day on his face.  

“Ignoring your vaguely robophobic remark, I don’t mean to make it sound as though I’m not proud of my country,” Keebo explained. “It’s hard to explain logically but…I feel like the essence of my AI comes from another place entirely, one that is indescribable. Like how Angie believes her soul came from Atua, I choose to believe in a similar principle with my AI, making me relate to her and Jack as fish out of water.”

Keebo’s hair antenna lowered in embarrassment as all eyes were on him. The humanoid construct rubbed his arm and gazed downward at his lap.

“My apologies if what I said was illogical. It’s just…something I’ve been thinking about for a while now.”

“I think I get it,” Jack said, turning the attention away from Keebo and onto him. “AI is a man-made creation that can be developed and installed anywhere in the world. But the emerging self-awareness achieved from particularly advanced models could be seen as something more spiritual in the eyes of some. So while you were ‘born’ here in Japan, you feel like your actual sense of self came from a higher place neither humans or robots can explain properly. Is that it or am I completely off base?”

The stunned silence from the class was palpable. Now it was Jack’s turn to feel unsure of himself. But before he could find a way to casually excuse himself, Keebo spoke in awe.

“I…w-wow, Jack. That was beautiful. You explained my own thoughts way better than I ever could! Thank you! No wonder the JackBots seem to hold you in such high regard!”

“Oh, so you spoke with them, huh?” Jack said with renewed relief as he took a bite of his bacon. “How did it go?”

“Wonderfully! JackBot 1 and his brothers gave me quite a lot to think about. I wouldn’t mind talking with them again, even if it’s just for idle chit-chat. It isn’t everyday I get to interact with other intelligent robots.”

A subdued and somewhat unsettling snickering was heard at the other end of the table. Jack turned to look at the source, Korekiyo, whom he just now realized hadn't removed or unzipped his face-mask yet was still clearly in the middle of eating his food. 

“ Kehehe . I must say, Spicer, I didn't take a practical mind such as yourself to wax philosophy like that. Color me impressed. Most men and women of science unfortunately tend to dismiss spiritual notions altogether. I’m pleased to hear that you are willing to engage in more abstract schools of thought with sincerity.”

“Mhmm. Mhmm! I knew Atua had a keen eye out for you!” Angie commented next to Jack while bobbing her head side to side. “We should pray to Him together after school in thanks for bringing us together like this, foreign buddy!”

“W-We should?” Jack gulped, not ready for this conversation. “Well, uh, I would love to but…I kinda got plans after school. JackBots to maintain, evil schemes to hatch, you know how it is. Heh, heh…”

Rantaro was heard chuckling while looking at Jack with a confused but still relaxed expression. “Do I even wanna know what that second part entails exactly?”

“Top secret,” was all Jack had to say as Kirumi helped pass him a muffin he was desperately reaching across the table for.

“Uh-oh! Wrong thing to say, Jackie!” Kokichi childishly chided while wagging a finger. However, he was quick to drop the act and look serious for a moment before saying, “You do remember we have one of two Ultimate Detectives here as a classmate, right? If you're hiding something illegal, Shuichi could easily report you to the headmaster or even the feds if he wanted.”

Though Jack did his best to not let it show, the fear of that realization was creeping onto his face. He stopped chewing the bite he had taken out of his pastry as he mind went into overdrive.

Oh crap, crap, CRAP! Checkered boy’s got a point: Shuichi really could turn me in! Why didn't that occur to me sooner!? I’ve just been casually dropping my status as a supervillain like it's no big deal! Although…I get the impression that the class doesn't really buy it anyway. And now that I think about it, Kokichi is literally the Ultimate Supreme Leader. If there's even a hint of truth to that, how come he hasn't been arrested yet? 

“Come on, Kokichi, leave him alone,” Shuichi said as firmly as his quiet voice would allow. “I’m sure all that stuff is just…code for something that only Jack knows. It’d be rude to pry him about it. Besides, this school has the Ultimate Yakuza as one of its attending students, and he’s allowed in no matter what his family has done.”

Jack was shaken out of his internal dialogue. “Woah, hold on. What was that about the ‘Ultimate Yakuza’?”

Shuichi shyly tilted the brim of his cap downward and stared into his coffee mug. “Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu of Class 77-B. I'm not sure if you're aware, but the yakuza are the largest criminal syndicate in Japan, with the Kuzuryu Clan in particular being the most influential. The law bends to their will more often than not. Fuyuhiko would've gotten in even if Hope’s Peak hadn't already scouted him. He hasn't done anything…shady yet, and I've heard his classmates have good things to say about him. But I'd still be cautious around him if I were you.”

Jack was absolutely amazed. Hope’s Peak Academy - probably the most goody-two-shoes institution he has ever seen - has some corruption in it? Ironically, that alone gave the Ultimate Engineer some hope for the future of evil. Perhaps this school was alright…

“I've run into Fuyuhiko a few times,” said Ryoma. “Got some anger management problems, but that swordswoman ‘friend’ of his keeps him grounded. He gets that soft look in his eyes with her around. I don't think he's that bad. In fact, he kinda reminds me of someone I know…”

The tiny tennis player not-so-subtly directed his gaze to Tenko at that last part. Picking up on this, the aikido master glared Ryoma down, although the effectiveness of her intimidation was lessened with her face all flustered.

“W-W-W-What the hell are you i-insinuating, degenerate male!? I didn't train at a temple with my master for years on end just to have a boy claim that I can't control my temper! I only unleash my righteous fury onto those who have it coming: like no-good males trying to take advantage of innocent girls like Himiko!”

Speaking of Himiko, Jack glanced at the magician sitting beside Tenko. She had long since dozed off at some point, and her head was slowly but surely lowering itself dangerously close to the half-eaten bowl of cereal before her.

“Don't look now, but your semi-girlfriend is about to go bobbing for Lucky Charms.”

Before Tenko had a chance to insult Jack, let alone question what he was on about, the sleepy Himiko face-planted into her bowl. Milk was splashed and she immediately woke up with a start, coughing as she practically jumped out of her seat. Kirumi was quick to dry the disoriented magician up with napkins and towels while Tenko fretted over her. Kokichi went into hysterics. 

The Ultimate Aikido Master was about to make good on her title and show some of her moves on the laughing jokester, when suddenly a loud noise was heard. Jack instantly recognized it as the sound of propulsion jets going off, having worked on many himself when constructing his JackBots. He almost thought one of them had come to make an urgent report until the source of the noise came into view as she landed in front of the gazebo.

Oh great, Jack thought with a grimace. So much for having a PG-rated breakfast today.

The Ultimate Inventor, Miu Iruma, had arrived fashionably late as she deactivated the thrusters on her jetpack. She proudly put her hands to her hips and smirked at the students giving her their undivided attention. 

“‘Sup, dicks and cunts! Your Gorgeous Girl Genius has finally graced you all with her big tits and even bigger brain! You're fucking welcome.”

“Only four obscenities in your morning greeting?” Tsumugi commented idly with a hand cupped to her cheek. “That’s way fewer than usual. Does that make this a new record…?”  

“Oi! I can restrain myself in the non-kinky way whenever I want, Four-Eyes!” Miu sneered as she stepped up to Kaede. Her features softened as she planted a kiss on the pianist’s cheek. “Mornin’, babe. Save any sausages for me? And I ain’t talkin’ about the ones between Space Cad’s legs! Kyahahaha!”

“That implies multiple, though!?” Kaito cried in a shrill voice while looking at the inventor in abject horror.

Paying no mind to the astronaut’s outburst (she was more than used to these sort of reactions from her peers by now), Kaede handed her girlfriend a plate as she took a seat next to her. “And a good morning to you too. I take it the jetpack is what you were referring to in your text? Oh! That reminds me…”

Kaede turned to a very confused Jack and said, “You still haven’t added yourself to the class group chat yet, have you? Did I send you the wrong link or…?”

“Oh, uh, nah. I just got carried away with other things. Here, I’ll do it now,” Jack reassured, pulling out his e-Handbook and accepting the invite link Kaede had sent him days prior. Notification dings were sent out throughout the class as some students pulled out their own e-Handbooks to see their new classmate’s username added. 

“Hey, uh, Jack?” Rantaro started carefully. “I don’t mean to be the spelling police, but there is no ‘o’ in ‘genius’.”

Jack groaned, “Like I told Kaede, that was done on purpose, I-!” He paused as he realized something. “Wait…you know English like her too?”

The suave, green-haired teen smiled easily. “Of course. I’m the Ultimate Adventurer, remember? I make sure to know everything there is to know about the countries I visit, language being chief among them.”

“The same applies to me as well,” Korekiyo added with a raised finger. “What good is an anthropologist that doesn’t know how to speak or read multiple languages from the various cultures he studies? It is part of my job to be multilingual.”

“I’m fluent in both English and Russian!” Kaitio added with a proud grin, having apparently gotten over Miu’s sausage comment. “Being an astronaut means having to possess great communication skills. Learning different languages comes with the training. Would be kinda silly if I only knew Japanese aboard the International Space Station, yeah?”

Kaede chuckled awkwardly. “Geez, guys…way to make me feel like an amateur. I only just got by in my English studies back at my old high school. There are so many weird and contradictory rules to that language…”

“If everyone’s finished sucking themselves off - my Kagayday excluded - can we get back to MY accomplishments!?” announced the haughty inventor.

“Nope~!” Kokichi decreed cheekily. 

“Fuck off, Cockichi!” Miu snarled before turning her attention to Jack and smirking. “So anyway, Jackoff -”

“Can I please get a different nickname?” He asked with forced politeness. 

“You, uh, learn to get used to it…mostly,” Shuichi remarked with defeated resignation. 

“Pooichi’s right, now fuck the shut up,” Miu demanded, seemingly not realizing nor caring how she mixed up her words. “You must think you’re hot shit with that prissy little drone thing on your back, huh? Well, as you just saw, you’re not the only one with a personal flying device on hand. And it only took me a single night of fingering to get this beauty’s engines all fired up. Suck on that, Miu Wannabe!”

While weirded out by Miu’s sexual analogy when describing building an invention, it was her demeaning comment towards his HeliBot that really got under his skin. Even if she wasn’t aware that his grandmother was the one that made it for him (not that it would change anything), the jab still made him grind his teeth.

“It’s called a HeliBot…” Jack hissed venomously.

“Eep!” Miu yelped, caught off guard by the piercing red eyes staring her down. Despite that, however, she pressed on. “Y-Yeah, well…I couldn’t give two shits what it’s called! Point is, it ain’t got nothin’ on my device! In fact, this isn’t even a fully-dedicated jetpack. The thrusters were just my latest addition to it. THIS is the main attraction!”

With her faux-confidence restored, Miu pressed a button on the side of her mechanical pack. Four hydraulic robot arms immediately sprang out from concealed ports. One flashed a peace sign at everyone while the other flipped them the bird. Another extended itself over the table to pour a cup of coffee for its operator. And the remaining one tried to not-so-discreetly lift up Kaede’s skirt before being casually batted away by the pianist. 

“BOOYAH!” Miu roared victoriously. “What your virgin eyeballs are molesting is the predecessor to my ‘While Laying Down’ line of inventions! People are forced to waste half of their lifetime just sleeping and getting nothing done as a result. But not with inventions like this! The onboard AI adapts to your brain waves and thought patterns, making the arms independent but still controllable. So even in your sleep, they’ll get shit done for you the way you’d normally do ‘em while awake! Plus, I’ve got way more advanced models that do more specific functions.”

As Miu explained her invention, Jack - loathed as he was to admit to himself - was left rather impressed. The closest he had ever done in his line of work was build RoboJack with extend-o arms for punching bullies at long ranges. But designing a learning AI for robot hand attachments to increase productivity at all times of the day? Why hadn’t he thought of that? Now if he tried making something similar himself, Miu would be quick to call him out for obvious plagiarism! 

“So…” Miu drawled, snapping Jack out of his thoughts to give him a smarmy grin that made him want to wipe it off of her face. “On top of all that, it also flies now. Can your little Heli-whatever do anything else, or is flying your skinny ass around its only claim to fame?”

Jack knew it was bait, it was so painfully obvious. Yet he took it anyway.

“For your information, Pinky, it does have other functions! See!?”

All at once, Jack activated every modification he had added over time to the HeliBot. This primarily included its own set of robotic arms, some with various tools attached such as the binoculars, his personal traveling safe, and a hair dryer (in case his hair ever got wet). Otherwise, they were standard pincers made for grabbing and not much else. When compared to Miu’s robot arms, they were also a little more simplistic and rudimentary, having ball joints rather than a flexible hydraulic tube making up the whole arm. 

Such details did not go unnoticed by the Ultimate Inventor. 

“HAHAHAHAHA! What the fuck is that weak-ass shit!?” She laughed, two of her robot hands slamming the table for emphasis much to the annoyance of everyone else. “Keebo could beat those metal twigs in an arm wrestling contest! And is that a fucking hair dryer on one of them!? HAHAHA!”

“Miu Iruma: knock it off! ” Kaede demanded, sounding less like the inventor's girlfriend and more like her mother at that moment. The sharp tone of voice was more than enough to end Miu's laughing fit as she practically cowered under the pianist's disapproving gaze. Even her robot hands took the liberty of raising themselves up in the air as a sign of surrender. 

Kaede was saying something to Miu, but Jack could barely concentrate on the words. He was too busy seeing red. Everything became a blur to the evil engineer as he felt himself shake with rage. That walking, talking Barbie doll had the gall to mock the last physical connection he had left to his late grandmother? Well, if she wanted to make him hurt, then two could play that game. 

“So this is what’s more important to you, huh, ‘Ultimate Inventor’?” Jack blurted out. The squabble between the two blondes halted as the one that was currently the target of Jack’s ire turned to him, her prior bravado still missing in action.

“W-W-What’re you talkin’ about…?” Miu feebly interrogated. 

“What you were just doing: showing me up with that invention on your back,” Jack clarified with a steely glare that made the girl flinch. “You’re seriously telling me this is what took priority over installing an eating function in your supposed best friend? One whom you just indirectly insulted with that little ‘arm wrestling’ comment?”

Keebo didn't need a sensor to tell him that tensions were rising. He sat up straighter now that he was being dragged in. “Jack…I told you that in confidence.”

“Y-Yeah, wait, what the fuck?” said Miu, stumbling over her own words in a painfully desperate attempt to regain her faux moxie. “That was a private conversation between me and Keebs, like, forever ago; way before you barged in! The hell were doing, prying him for info like that!?”

In hindsight, Jack should've at least let Keebo explain how it was him who chose to reveal that information by his own volition. However, the engineer was simply too steamed to be bothered with that. He carried on with his public flogging of Miu, further shattering the inventor's impudence.

“Doesn't matter! What does matter is you blowing off your robot friend's happiness for your own self-satisfaction!” Jack gestured to the robot in question. “Keebo has to sit here with an empty plate as he watches the rest of us eat, even though he's expressed to you a desire to consume food. He wants to be able to do things we humans take for granted. Yet you put that on the backburner just to invent stupid crap like a…ripoff HeliBot!?”

Miu started to sniffle. “B…but…this was s-something I made way before I-”

“Don't care,” Jack interrupted coldly. “You still clearly added a flight feature to that thing because you saw I could fly with my own and wanted to one-up me. All the while, Keebo goes another day without getting to experience the simple joys of eating. Some friend you are.”

That was Miu’s breaking point. The girl genius was silently crying, though it clearly took great strain for her to keep it silent. She shivered violently and kept frantically darting her eyes between Jack and Keebo, the latter of which looked to the former with restrained anger. 

“Jack! That's going too far! I already made it clear that I wasn't in a hurry to have an eating function installed in me. Miu is admittedly a lot of things, but she is not a bad friend! Least of all to me!”

“I have to agree,” Shuichi added, surprising Jack. Although he should've expected the best friend of Miu’s girlfriend to come to her defense. “I know Miu’s a lot to handle sometimes, and what she did right now wasn't deserved. But that doesn’t give you the right to question her relationship with Keebo like that. Especially when you haven't known either of them for very long. It's kind of messed up.”

A rough slam on the table alerted Jack to Tenko, her fist having dented the surface. He gulped ever so slightly when she stared at him with such raw hatred in her eyes.

“You damn MALE! Callously making a girl cry!? Degenerate scum! Miu may be rude and unladylike, but I’m not going to sit here and let a man bring her to tears like that! Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t flip you ‘till you're unconscious!”

“W-What’s with these fucking backhanded defenses!?” Miu cried. 

“God, this is so much better than watching YouTube while eating!” Kokichi commented in between bites. 

The class rep tried to get her classmates to settle down. “Guys, CHILL!”

Unfortunately for Kaede, she wouldn't get the chance to do that. 

“Forget this! I can tell when I’m not wanted. I’m out.”

Shocking the pianist and most of the other Ultimates, Jack left the table. But not before roughly wiping his mouth with a napkin and throwing it, not caring if it fell to the floor. He figured Kirumi would be on cleanup duty anyway. 

“Foreign buddy?” Angie called out tentatively. 

Jack didn’t turn back.

“C’mon, man, don't walk away like a coward!” Kaito shouted angrily. “That’s so uncool!” 

Surprisingly, those encouraging words didn't inspire Jack to return. 

Without saying another word, Jack stepped out from under the gazebo and took to the skies with his HeliBot. His first instinct was to hide out in his Research Lab, but chances are he would be bothered by one of his classmates there. So, the albino made the executive decision to simply fly out into the city. The change in scenery would help to distract him. 

Jack had been insulted before, plenty of times. Be it for his appearance, passion for world conquest, love for robots, or combination of all three. But something about Miu’s dig at his HeliBot, the last thing he had to remember Granny Spicer by…it hit a nerve with him. He couldn't recall every being that pissed before, not even towards the Xiaolin monks he fought with every other week. 

A ping and a vibration from his pocket startled Jack further. Sighing, he pulled out his e-Handbook and checked the notification tab. It was from the class group chat he had just joined. Against his better judgment, he read the message.

Certified Piano Freak: Jack? It's Kaede. I’m SO sorry about what happened! Are you okay? Where did you go?

Jack had half a mind to ignore it. But then he remembered how sweet and nice Kaede had been to him since day one of starting school at Hope’s Peak. How she actually bothered to check in on him after his first day went awry. How she wanted him and everyone else to get along and become friends.

…and how he was quick to send her away the second she questioned his evilness. 

Jack’s thumbs hovered the virtual keyboard longer than they should have. Eventually, though, he managed to type out a response.

evilboygenious: Going out. Tell the teacher I’m sick or ‘honing my talent’ or whatever. Need to be alone for a while. 

Turning further notifications on silent, Jack pocketed the tablet and resumed his flight above Tokyo. The wind rushing through his face and hair was already therapeutic.

Chapter Text

“You’re certain the Xiaolin Losers haven’t broken into my house while I’ve been away?” Jack stressed at the video feed of one of the JackBots he left at home via his wrist device. 

“100%, sir. Parameter sweeps have detected no signs of recent intrusions. All has been quiet since your departure overseas.”

“You made sure to check behind the bushes, right?” Jack interrogated with a raised brow. 

“Of course.”

“And in the closets?”

“Affirmative.”

“Under the beds?”

“Naturally.”

“Inside the trash cans?”

The bot paused before carefully asking a question of his own.

“...why would they stoop that low for a hiding place?”

“So there’s still a blind spot!?” Jack cried over the feed, uncaring of the attention he was drawing to himself at the dock he was currently at. “Put the base on high alert and set up some trash cams already! The longer those dopes don’t realize I’m not home, the better.”

“Understood, sir,” said the saluting JackBot. “I will also continue to notify your parents of your urgent request for funds while I’m at it.”

“Thanks. I’d like to get my hover jet out of the impoundment lot as soon as possible. Jack Spicer, out.”

The moment the video feed ended, the redheaded albino let out a long sigh. Salty sea air and the smell of raw seafood invaded Jack’s olfactory senses as he aimlessly wandered around the fish market he had decided to stroll into. 

After abruptly excusing himself from his peers at this morning’s breakfast gathering, the Ultimate Engineer flew over Tokyo for a while before settling on exploring the city on foot. Mentally comparing Japan’s urban environment to the ones he’s visited while travelling the world made for a nice distraction from his little crash out. Not that he felt it was unwarranted, however; Jack still thought Miu to be a tryhard who overlooked her robot friend’s wants and needs. 

He just wasn’t expecting quite a few of his classmates to take the inventor’s side over his. 

Well…perhaps it wasn’t entirely unexpected. Between being the class rep’s girlfriend and having been with the other students since their first day at Hope’s Peak, Miu must’ve done something to earn at least a little recognition from them. Besides maybe Angie, Jack was still the odd one out in the class. “Fresh meat” one might even say. They simply didn’t know him as well as her. 

“Tch! Not like it matters anyway…” he muttered to himself as he passed by the various fish stands. “Once I graduate and rule the world, they’ll all be sorry. Keebo just needs time to understand that Miu isn’t a good friend for him. He’ll come around eventually…and I guess Tsumugi and Kaede are cool too.”

Jack stopped walking and shook his head at his own thoughts. He really shouldn't have been so hung up on what his new classmates thought of him and vice versa. Just because most of them were marginally better than the ones at his old schools doesn't mean he was obligated to befriend them (Miu, Tenko, and Kokichi least of all). His robots filled the void in his greedy black heart a long time ago, and everyone on the planet will be forced to like him once he cements himself as Overlord of Evil. Winning the approval of his peers was not worth the investment.

And yet, every time Jack reminded himself of that, the private conversation he had with Kaede would pop back up in his mind. Her naïve but earnest desire for everyone to get along…why had that stuck out to him? Was it due to her being one of the few - nay, only people he’s met who actually treated him with nothing but kindness for no other reason than because she wanted to? 

That's gotta be it, Jack thought to himself as he idly gazed into a mackerel’s lifeless eyes. I’m just not used to that type of treatment, especially from a cute girl. Still, I’m not an unreasonable villain, I’ll try to return Kaede’s kindness whenever I can. It’s the least I can do knowing that I’ll never be able to grant her wish of getting chummy with everyone. I don't think some of them even particularly like each other all that much anyway. So why is she so adamant about it?

Suddenly remembering that he was supposed to be forgetting about his classmates, Jack stopped his train of thought and continued to look at all the different types of fish available for sale. Not that he was looking to buy, but they were giving him some ideas about developing new aquatic-based robots. If a sunken Shen Gong Wu revealed itself, he was probably going to need some machines designed for swimming. SharkBots were an obvious choice, but since he was in Japan, maybe he could embrace the local culture a little and make something like KoiBots. Yeah, that'd be neat.

Just as he was beginning to outline the blueprints in his head, a nearby ruckus pulled him out of his equations. From a few stalls away, there seemed to be an argument brewing between one of the fish mongers and a man with the craziest set of spiked hair Jack had ever seen. If the engineer didn’t know any better, he'd say a giant porcupine had nestled itself atop the man's head. 

“For the last time: if you don’t have money, you can't have any of my wares!” cried the exasperated vendor. “We don't accept fortune readings as legitimate payment! Nobody does!”

“C'mon, dude! Not even if it's on the house?” asked the spikey-haired man in a desperate attempt to haggle. “Tell ya what: I'll even throw in a huge discount on your second fortune to confirm the first one's accuracy!”

“I'd be paying you for a service! That's a net loss for me!”

“Fine! Be like that! I could've predicted you having a future with a smokin’ hot supermodel! But I guess we'll never know for sure now, huh!?”

“Get outta here, ya deadbeat! You’re scaring away my customers!”

Throwing his hands up in the air, the man with the wild hairdo stomped away from the stall. Now that he was facing his direction, Jack was able to get a better look at him. Other than his hair being the most standout feature, he wore a black overcoat draped loosely over his shoulders, similar to how Kaito wears his own coat. The man also wore an open white dress shirt exposing a wrinkly yellow undershirt, baggy sweatpants held up by a sash, and some worn-out sandals. Combine all that with traces of uneven stubble on his face, and Jack could only assume him to be a bum of some kind.  

Before Jack could think of an indiscrete way of avoiding him, it was already too late. The man made a beeline for him and immediately started ranting as though he had already known him his whole life. 

“Can you believe that guy!? It's not everyday I’m willing to hand out free readings y’know, much less ones at a discount! He should've been more grateful!”

“Uh…sorry man, I don't have any change to spare,” Jack uttered as he tried brushing past the rambling lunatic. 

“Huh…? Hey, wait a minute! Did you just mistake me for a hobo or something!?” 

Jack briefly paused to scan the raggedy guy twice over. “I think I saw someone drop a twenty back there.”

“Don't be mean! This is just how I dress! It’s comfy and fashionable!” He pointed a finger at Jack. “I’ll have you know that I attend the most prestigious school in the country! So maybe show a little respect, will ya!?”

“Hold up…” Jack said, fully stopping in his tracks and turning to address the strange man. “You're telling me that you're actually a Hope’s Peak Academy student? That true?”

He smirked proudly. “As true as the moon landing is fake! I'm Yasuhiro Hagakure, the Ultimate Clairvoyant of Class 78! But everybody just calls me Hiro. I'm not one for formalities and junk.”

Ignoring Hiro's casual endorsement of a tired old conspiracy theory, Jack did a double-take at his claims of being a student. Not only did his title sound made-up (even more so than Kokichi's), but the guy looked to be somewhere in his early 20s. Didn't attendance at Hope’s Peak require that the person must still be in high school? 

“You're probably thinking, ‘This guy looks too old to be a high schooler’, yeah?” Hiro asked, surprising Jack with his sudden intuition. “Well, that's because I was held back a couple of times at my old school. But thankfully Hope’s Peak isn't too strict on the academic side of things. So long as I continue practicing my fortune-telling and keep getting straight Ds, I'm a shoo-in for graduation! Hahaha!” 

Although the possibility of this man being a homeless grifter was still on the table, the confident and specific way he spoke about his alleged school life gave Jack enough reason to believe he really was an Ultimate like him. Just a rather dull one. 

“Uh-huh. Well, it's funny you bring that up, because I also happen to be a student at Hope’s Peak. Jack Spicer, Ultimate Engineer. Class 79.”

Hiro stopped laughing at his own stupidity to visually scrutinize Jack for a minute. After carefully looking at him up and down, he spoke up.

“Hey…yeah, I thought you looked familiar. You're that new exchange student who got his plane-thingy towed right in front of the whole school, aren’t ya?”

Jack facepalmed and groaned. “First of all, it's a hover jet, not a ‘plane-thingy’. Second of all, I wasn’t expecting the school to just let that happen! Not like I was trying to park in a handicap spot! I haven't seen a student or teacher in a wheelchair yet!”

“I think there's a kid in the Elementary Division that has a wheelchair. Junko talks about checking up on her and her friends sometimes…” Hiro said more to himself than Jack. He shook his head before patting him on the shoulder. “Anyway, sorry that happened to you, brah. My mom and I know what it's like having to deal with annoying legal crap. Oh, I know! You should start a civil protest outside the company that towed your vehicle! Stick it to the Man!”

Little did the clairvoyant know that Jack had plans to become the de facto “Man” all around the world once he graduated and hoarded enough Shen Gong Wu. Oh, the irony…

“Cute idea. But I think I'll wait for my parents to return my calls so they can give me the money to pay the fines,” Jack said as he turned around and started walking away. As far as he was concerned, they were pretty much done conversing. 

But Hiro had other plans. 

Before Jack knew it, the idiot had caught up and began walking alongside him as though they were thick as thieves. “Woah, for serious? Your folks got enough cash to burn all willy-nilly like that?”

Frustrated that Hiro couldn't take the hint about leaving him be, Jack sighed. “Yes, they're rich. And they're also busy so it's hard to get a hold of them sometimes…”

Suddenly and without the evil genius’s consent, Hiro swung his entire elbow around Jack’s neck in what he assumed was meant to be a friendly gesture. Although it came off as incredibly forced and somewhat creepy, especially when the clairvoyant started laughing. 

“HAHAHA! Say, you seem like a decent guy! How about I do you a favor as your upperclassman? I can read your fortune and let you know if good things are coming your way for a change.” Hiro quickly coughed, “For a small fee…”

Jack pulled himself free from the shady man and gave him a sneer. “And why would I want to do that? I don’t buy into that horoscope bologna.”

Ghosts and Shen Gong Wu are one thing, but this has scam written all over it, thought the boy genius. Just because he knew magic truly existed, doesn’t mean there weren’t still people who would fake it for money. 

“Wha- HEY! This ain’t no horoscope bullcrap! This is honest-to-Buddha divination I’m offering!” Hiro defended rather staunchly. “Need I remind you that I’m the Ultimate Clairvoyant? Hope’s Peak wouldn’t have accepted me if I was just your run-of-the-mill clairvoyant.”

Jack paused to consider his fellow student’s words. 

“Maybe so. Either way, I’m still not interested. Jack Spicer carves out his own future, no matter what the Gods may foresee! Anyway, see ya.”

Once again, just as he thought that was the end of things, Jack was stopped by Hiro. This time, however, the older student ran ahead and dropped to the ground on his hands and knees in front of him. The engineer was greatly taken aback by this sudden and desperate prostration.

“C’mon, man, PLEEEEEASE! It can be pocket change for all I care, I just really need the dough! I…I owe a lot of money to some bad people, and I’m working my butt off to try and pay back the debt! I promise this reading will be worth your while! Do it for your fellow Ultimate!”

This…took an unexpected turn. Did Hiro take out a loan from the mob or something? The Ultimate Yakuza was attending their school, so maybe he was the guy he owed money to? If that was the case, then this grown man was even stupider than Jack thought. How was he the Ultimate Clairvoyant if he lacked the foresight to not make dealings with the damn yakuza? No way an evil boy genius would ever become that desperate for cash. 

Still, watching an upperclassman much older than him grovel for money was starting to get depressing to watch. Jack sighed as he fished for his wallet. He only had a couple hundred yen’s worth of travel expenses, nowhere near enough to pay for his hover jet back. He figured it was better than buying a dead sea animal. 

“For the record, I’m not doing this because I actually care if the mob comes for your kneecaps. If anything, I’m morbidly curious about how an ‘Ultimate Clairvoyant’ does his thing. Now get up, you’re embarrassing the both of us.”

Best case scenario: Hiro really does possess psychic abilities and could steer Jack’s future on the wrong (right) path. If a random mime in Paris could utilize magic, it stands to reason that an Ultimate was an even more likely candidate for hosting supernatural powers. This might make for a good test. 

“F…For serious…?” Hiro whimpered as he looked up at the small wad of money Jack was presenting to him. “Not even my good buddy, Makoto, was willing to spot me. You’d really do this for someone not even in your own class?”

“I can’t even tell if you’re trying to guilt-trip me at this point!” Jack huffed in frustration while shaking the yen clutched in his hand. “Take it or leave it, either is fine by me.”

Wiping his nose with his sleeve, Hiro picked himself up off the wooden boards of the dock and carefully took the money. After quickly appraising it to be sure it wasn’t counterfeit, the fortune-teller smiled brightly, the previous gloomy cloud that hung over him nowhere to be seen.

“Thanks a million, pal! You won’t regret this transaction! Now then, where did I put that crystal ball…?”

Hiro patted around his overcoat for a moment before going, “Aha!” and whipping out the crystal ball he mentioned. He brandished it dramatically, but it just looked like any other ball of glass to Jack. 

“Behold, my one-of-a-kind crystal ball! Said to have been passed down from many important dudes like Napoleon Bonaparte, Genghis Khan, and George Washington! By gazing into it with my mind’s eye, I can predict if fortune is coming your way after your recent bout of struggles and hardship…”

Jack crossed his arms impartially as Hiro strained himself, muttering chants while staring intensely into his alleged historical hand-me-down. He honestly felt rather foolish for entertaining the buffoon like this. But it wasn’t like he had anything better to do or spend his travel money on. May as well see if the clairvoyant was the real deal or not. 

After an awkward amount of time speaking in tongues, Hiro stopped abruptly and shut his eyes, causing Jack’s to widen in surprise. 

“I see it now…” spoke the fortune-teller. “In no less than three minutes tops…you will crash face-first into your next big score! Ouch. Other than the injury that follows, I'm actually a little jealous of you, dude.”

Jack blinked when Hiro had nothing more to add to the already bizarre “prediction”.

“Uh…that's it?”

“Pretty much,” Hiro confirmed as he idly played with his yen. “I tend not to beat around the bush when it comes to these readings. I like to give it to my clients straight. Time is money and all that.”

“But…but…” Jack stuttered before quickly shifting gears from confused to annoyed. “What kind of reading was that!? I was at least expecting something broad since that's how these things typically work. But that just sounded completely made-up and on the spot!”

“What!?” Hiro squawked, his face turning red in frustration. “That is SO not true! My predictions are famous for having a 30% success rate! And when that 30% hits? It is frighteningly accurate! Fortune-telling is a serious craft, so don't go dissing it!”

I just let a stoner scam me out of my money, didn’t I? Jack thought with profound horror and disappointment at himself. Shit, I’m an even bigger idiot than him…

The Ultimate Engineer held out an open palm towards the Ultimate Clairvoyant, making a “gimme” gesture with it. 

“Refund. Now.”

Hiro calmly stared down at Jack’s awaiting hand. Then he slowly met with the redhead’s unyielding gaze. 

Then…he booked it. 

“Hey - GET BACK HERE!” 

Jack was after the con artist in a flash. Hiro shoved some people out of the way and into his, but the albino was not so easily deterred. He shoved them away himself and kept up the chase, trailing just behind the spiky-haired man as he dashed around the corners of stalls in a bid to shake off his pursuer. If Jack had to give Hiro one thing, it would be his unexpected nimbleness. This was more than likely not the first time the clairvoyant had to outrun a dissatisfied client.

And of course I don’t have my Evil Glob Shooter with me! Jack cursed internally. One good shot is all I’d need to stop this scammer in his tracks! Why did I make that thing if I was only going to use it for one Showdown!?

But as the megalomaniac mentally scolded himself, Hiro decided on a risky maneuver. Coming up near the dock’s edge, he was about to make another sharp turn around a stall when he suddenly grabbed the display table and flung it behind him, sending fish scattering everywhere. Jack only noticed this when he heard the stall owner angrily yell at Hiro even as he already disappeared from his line of sight. 

“Oh carp, CRAP!” 

It was too late. Jack didn’t have enough reaction time to evade the lifeless fish on the ground. Stepping on one caused him to slip forward onto the next in a comedy of errors. Their slimy bodies made it impossible for him to regain his footing. Before he knew it, he somehow found himself somersaulting ahead via the oily fish residue. It would seem the powers that be deemed Jack simply tripping to be too boring of an outcome. Thus, he just had to go flying in a spectacular fashion instead.

The unfortunate boy genius screamed as he was hurled forward, half-expecting to fall into the ocean at the end of the dock. Rather than plunging into cold waters, however, he came to an abrupt stop when his face met with hard stone. 

Hurt, dazed, and confused, Jack peeled himself off of the rough surface to stumble back. A giant samurai statue had stood between him and the ocean he was otherwise destined to fall into. Although given how much his entire face ached, a little dip in the water might’ve been preferable in retrospect.

“ARRGH! It all hurts…!” Jack moaned while checking to see if his nose was bleeding. When he found that it wasn’t (miraculously), he scanned his surroundings. More than a couple onlookers observed him with varying expressions, and that one fish monger was despairing over his now ruined stock. But the Ultimate Clairvoyant was nowhere to be found.

His pain temporarily subsided, Jack felt himself get heated as his fist shook with rage before he shouted at the air. “WE GO TO THE SAME SCHOOL! I'LL FIND YOU EVENTUALLY!”

With his vengeful declaration having scared off the gawking locals, the evil genius sighed while gingerly cupping his sore cheeks. This spontaneous outing was supposed to help him de-stress, but now it was doing the opposite. And he really had no one to blame but himself for thinking that paying a fortune-teller was a halfway decent idea. Hiro could’ve just been the “Ultimate Ripoff Artist” for all he knew. Even Jack felt disgusted by that man’s underhanded tactics; he took advantage of a teenager for badness' sake!

“Ugh, forget this. I should head back to the lab and get pain killers from MedBot…” Jack grumbled dejectedly as his HeliBot lifted him up in the air.

But as he was about to take off above the city again, a glint caught his eye. Jack halted his altitude and turned back around, facing the samurai statue he had smashed into not a moment ago. It was only by hovering above it that he noticed something…shiny sitting in the palm of one of its outstretched hands. 

Curious, he flew in to get a closer look. His red eyes widened as he did.

“Is that…? No way, it can't be!”

While the odd, almost clam-shaped design gave Jack very little to work with in terms of inferring its function, the distinct bronze coating and ornate embellishments were confirmation enough: he had just discovered a Shen Gong Wu. 

Jack landed on the statue's hand as he went to carefully pick up the mystical artifact. After briefly inspecting it, he came to the conclusion that he had no idea what he was doing and quit pretending like giving it an eyeful would make him understand it any better. The only thing the evil engineer could say for certain, however, was that this Wu had yet to reveal itself. Aside from the obvious fact that the Xiaolin monks weren't already swarming the area, the Wu Detector Jack spent all night fine-tuning had not gone off once. And he made sure to really calibrate it, too. 

“Huh...I guess this means I've got dibs on it!” Jack declared while tossing and catching his newfound prize with one hand. But then his face scrunched up as he thought aloud, “Wait, does that mean Hiro's prediction was right all along? I mean, I doubt I would've found this bad boy had I not slammed my face like he said I would…”

...

“Nah, must be a coincidence. I'm still plotting my revenge on him.” 

Having successfully convinced himself of the clairvoyant's fraudulent practices, Jack Spicer took to the skies with his precious new cargo in tow. It was only from admiring the mysterious Shen Gong Wu in his hands that the obvious struck him:

“Oh shoot, how am I gonna know what this thing is or does!?”

Without Wuya’s extensive knowledge of all things Wu, Jack was left in an awkward position. As far as he knew, these artifacts only worked when the wielder calls out their name with the intention of using them. So having no clue what the one he found was even called essentially made it little more than a glorified paperweight. That spirit may have been a drag, but at least she was able to give a basic rundown of the Wu. Jack’s new detector would only be useful in tracking down their energy signatures. 

The boy genius huffed, “Well…there might be one person who can help. Was kinda hoping to get to know him better so it'd be easier to sweet talk him into doing me favors. But maybe we can work something out.”

Nodding to himself, Jack flew back to Hope’s Peak Academy. He had a small request to make for the Ultimate Anthropologist.

Chapter Text

Kaede never liked it when her girlfriend got upset.

A perfectly understandable dislike, really. Seeing Miu in distress put her in distress and vice versa. No one wants their special someone to be unhappy if they can help it. It just so happens that Kaede’s special someone was often…unhappy in some way or another. 

Miu wasn't depressed per say, but she certainly had a lot of insecurities bubbling underneath the surface. And unfortunately for everyone else, the strawberry-blonde found that her go-to coping mechanism was to tear others down while propping herself up. Although with someone who had the exact opposite of “thick skin”, she rarely could ever take what she dishes out. 

So when their new classmate just so happened to be a technological prodigy like her, the Ultimate Inventor was immediately put on edge. Kaede sensed this the second Jack Spicer stepped into the classroom on his first day. It was like Miu was seeing her own genderbent doppelganger with the way she stared at him. And if Kaede was honest, she nearly had to do a double-take herself for just a split second. 

Ever since the first confrontation with Jack, Miu had become even more high-strung than usual. She was increasingly flippant of Kaede’s stern but well-meaning lectures on social etiquette (something the two have had many conversations about long before Spicer's introduction). At the same time, though, she had become noticeably clingier with her pianist girlfriend. While Kaede didn't mind the extra hugs and hand-holding, the reason behind them worried her.

But after Miu’s second fight with Jack at breakfast, she would take her being rude and possessive any day. The dead silence from her girlfriend was beyond uncomfortable. 

When class had ended for the day, Miu “invited” Kaede over to her lab, blunt as a brick. The pianist had already planned on having another talk with the inventor about her recent behavior anyway, and accepted the invitation without protest. But whatever she would've said to her died in her throat the moment Miu slammed her lab door shut, stomped over to her workbench, and began tinkering away at something without so much as a cursory glance her way. Sure, the girl genius often got into the zone when it came to her work…but not like this. The very air around her felt wrong. 

For the time being, Kaede opted to observe her girlfriend on the velvety red couch she kept in her lab. Even with a concerning scowl etched into her face, watching her invent was something of a second pastime next to playing the piano. Miu may not handle criticism directed at her character well, but she could always back up her boasts in regards to her craft. Not all of her inventions were winners in the public eye (especially the more risqué ones), but Kaede learned to appreciate the downright mesmerizing process it took for Miu to build who-knows-what. 

Although for this particular project that the Ultimate Inventor was engaged in, Kaede could hazard a guess as to what it entailed. A loaned copy of Keebo’s precious schematics laid bare before Miu as she periodically consulted it for reference.

The pianist decided the silence had gone on long enough and broke it first. “Miu, we need to talk…”

The messy blonde ignored the prim blonde, vigorously soldering pieces of metal together.

“It's rude to not acknowledge your girlfriend when she's speaking to you, y'know.”

Miu continued to work, though Kaede did notice her frown waver ever so slightly. 

“Look, I know Jack crossed a line back there, but that's only because you kept provoking him! Didn’t I say this was bound to happen if you continued to push people's buttons? I can't always be there to defend you if you're the instigator half of the time!”

Switching off her soldering gun, Miu got up from her workbench and briskly made her over to one of her coding terminals while sharply uttering, “Defend me? Like during breakfast?”

Ouch. That admittedly kind of stung. But Kaede was not one to back down. 

“First of all, a lot was happening at once and everyone was speaking up. I could barely get a word in edgewise. Second, you can't play the victim card when you're the one who started the fight to begin with. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.”

Miu’s shoulders visibly tensed as she sat hunched over the computer typing out code at a breakneck pace. “Christ, Bakamatsu! I thought having your sweet ass around would help me work! But if I knew you were gonna shit on me, I wouldn't have bothered inviting you over!”

While it was flattering knowing her presence made Miu feel more comfortable in her element, Kaede had to press on. “We've had this discussion more times than any of us care to count. I like to think of myself as a pretty patient person, but even I have my limits. When are you going to take what I have to say to heart, Miu?”

The aggressive clacking of the keyboard abruptly halted. Miu whipped her head around to look directly at Kaede, her frazzled hair swaying behind her with the movement. She glared at her still, but it was sharper now. More focused. A nerve had been struck.

“You think I don’t know that?” Miu asserted, tone unusually measured for someone so loud and brash on most days. “I'm not a dumbass, Kaede, I can pick up on social cues. When you go from being an unremarkable girl to a super genius thanks to some undocumented marvel in brain surgery, there’s gonna be some growing pains. One minute I was nobody, then the next? BAM! Suddenly I had all these amazing ideas in my head that needed to get out. For once, I finally had something to prove. If nobody cared about the boring old Miu Iruma before the accident, then the new and improved Miu Iruma was gonna make ‘em. That was the train of thought, anyway.” 

The Ultimate Inventor slowly leaned back in her chair as she rested her hands on her lap and exhaled through her nose. Kaede knew where this was going and elected to remain quiet as to allow her girlfriend to air out the insecurities that had been festering within her psyche lately. The pianist was already well-informed about the secret origin to Miu’s “golden brain” for quite some time now, but clearly she had a reason for bringing it up again.

“It’s just…it’s hard to go back to the old me,” Miu hesitated, not even bothering to make an obvious innuendo with her choice of words. “Aside from the fact that I don’t wanna be that friendless, virgin loser ever again, I’ve also got too much on my plate. I am literally the Ultimate-fucking-Inventor! If I want to change the world, then I gotta defend my title from all the plebs looking to undermine me. Kazuichi and Chihiro turned out to be alright, but Jack…he…”

Miu shivered and her pupils dilated again. Kaede quickly responded by getting up from her seat and gently rubbing her shoulders. In spite of her claims, the inventor’s more timid and scaredy-cat nature was a clear sign of her reverting to her past self whenever something stressful occurred. Whether the crude personality she presented herself with these days was truly a mask or some side-effect of whatever dubious brain surgery she underwent, Kaede didn't know. But what mattered at the moment was keeping her girlfriend grounded and letting her know she was safe. 

“Th-That fucker just casually shows up to school with self-aware robots and a goddamn hoverjet like it’s no big deal? I know he’s the Ultimate Engineer, but holy SHIT, Kaede! I-I don’t even know where to begin with that! It’s not like I’m incapable of making those things myself - don’t you ever get it twisted - but like…fuck, uh…” 

Miu briefly pauses to consider how best to describe her worries before snapping her fingers. “Keebo is a breakthrough in the field of robotics, right? One-of-a-kind, hot as hell testament to human ingenuity, yeah? Well, here comes Jackoff Spitroast from outta butt-fucking-nowhere with a private army’s worth of tin cans that seem on par with Keebo’s AI! Like, what the shit am I supposed to do with that kind of information!?”

Kaede continued idly massaging Miu’s shoulders as she offered her own thoughts. “Well…I agree that there was a lot to unpack with Jack's initial introduction. But it's just as you said: it isn't like you're incapable of doing things on his level. Your ‘While Lying Down’ inventions use their own sophisticated AI, no? That has to count for something. Or what about your ray gun that teleports underwear? Even if I don't really get it, that's still an amazing scientific feat! You should be proud of your own accomplishments rather than worrying over what the new kid is doing.”

Miu blew an exasperated raspberry. At least it was better than her having another self-induced panic attack. 

“There’s my Kaeidiot with the generic life advice spiel. Look, that shit may have been not totally useless with Grease Monkey and Chinchinhiro, but Jackoff is different. I mean, what about that ‘I’m evil and gonna take over the world’ beta male talk? It’s one thing when someone like Cockichi says something so cringey. But someone with even a fraction of my talent saying that…?”

Sitting up and inadvertently escaping from her girlfriend’s massaging grasp, Miu removed her goggles to wipe the seat that was forming on her forehead. She stared absent-mindedly at the program she was desperately developing for Keebo’s overdue eating mechanism. Lines of unfinished code glistened in her tired eyes like a reflection in a pond as the engineer’s harsh criticism replayed in her mind. Potential mental instability aside, Jack had made a point: Miu really had been putting off this project she’d promised to her friend, and for no justifiably good reason on top of it. 

Even if Keebo never reciprocated her original feelings for him, Miu still wanted him to remain a close aspect in her life. Yet here she was, upgrading her existing inventions to establish her dominance over a new classmate instead of fulfilling a promise. What was she doing anymore?

The internal downward spiral was interrupted when Kaede suddenly and without warning straddled Miu. The Ultimate Pianist had to be mindful of the spikes and metal chains that adorned her girlfriend’s leg straps, but she managed to make herself comfortable in her lap. The Ultimate Inventor, meanwhile, was turning red like a tomato in a vegetable steamer. Kaede’s soft, plump, bare legs making contact with hers was enough to make Miu temporarily forget everything that had been plaguing her mind.

Kaede smiled softly as she wrapped her arms around Miu’s neck, causing a small gasp to escape her throat. She quietly giggled at that. Even though this was the same girl that tried to look up her skirt this very morning, she was easily left a mushy mess whenever Kaede was the one to engage in displays of affection, public or otherwise. 

“Relax,” she cooed, resting her forehead atop Miu’s. “I get it, he’s a little eccentric. But that applies to pretty much every one of us here at Hope’s Peak. Sure, the ‘evil’ talk could be a small cause for alarm, but so far he doesn’t strike me as the type to actually do something bad. Besides, you’re rough around the edges yourself, but that still didn’t deter me from helping you make friends.” 

Kaede craned her neck a little to whisper into Miu's ear, cheekily adding, “And in your case, eventually falling for you~”

Miu tried to bite back with a gruff comeback, but she didn’t have it in her when Kaede spoke with such a honeyed voice and caressed her head so tenderly. She had to concentrate on not simply drooling like a dog as she absorbed her girlfriend’s words like they were gospel.  

“I think that, much like you, Jack just needs some time to adjust and get to know us better,” Kaede said softly yet with confidence. “He's in a new country and currently doesn't have a way to travel back home; he’s probably a little on edge right now. Which is why I strongly ask that you please refrain from messing with him, at least for the time being. You don't necessarily have to like him, but maybe you two can find some common ground like you did with Kokichi.” 

Miu’s lovesick trance was temporarily interrupted at the mention of that jokester’s name and she scowled. Bombarding the class group chat with memes and occasionally building things for him at his request didn't qualify as common ground in her eyes. Sure, she didn’t have to do the latter, but she invented for the sake of inventing. Denying anyone of her genius - even someone as unbearable as Kokichi - wasn't how she rolled. 

“I doubt it,” Miu huffed, avoiding eye contact with Kaede so as to not get lost in her beautiful blue orbs again. “But sure, whatever, I’ll lay off the drama queen for a while. Unless he starts shit with me first, then all bets are off.”

The pianist took a moment to scrutinize her girlfriend. “Do you mean it this time? Or are you just saying that because it's what I want to hear?”

The inventor glared at the persistent girl. “God, Kaeidiot, YES! Contrary to popular belief, I know when to leave an overly sensitive pussy alone. Yours excluded, of course.”

A range of emotions surged through Kaede like electricity in the cables that filled Miu's lab. There was the expected annoyance at her girlfriend’s attitude, but also a mix of embarrassment, astonishment, and even amusement at the dirty joke. It was nothing new with her, but sometimes the casual execution combined with the sheer absurdity of the questionable humor left Kaede with little choice but to laugh in spite of herself. At least they were alone this time so she didn't have to worry about keeping up appearances. 

Miu smirked triumphantly at getting her uptight girlfriend to chuckle. “Hah. Little Miss Perfect isn't immune to my brilliant wit and comedy~”

Kaede sighed in defeat as she composed herself. “I'd hardly call it that. But you sure say the wildest things sometimes. Just wish you kept it to a minimum is all.”

“Sorry, babe. But I ain’t one to hold back the opportunity for a good dirty joke when I see it. Besides, it keeps the mood light.”

That was the excuse Miu liked to use whenever one of her zingers didn't land with everyone (which was often). Still, Kaede couldn't fully fault her given the pianist's guilty pleasure for them. And in this particular moment, it wasn’t like Miu was entirely wrong; the tension in the atmosphere had deflated significantly after talking things out. One just needed to have the patience of a saint to settle things down with her. 

Miu stretched back in her chair before asking, “So…are we gonna make out or are you gonna hop off so I can get back to my work? ‘Cuz I’m cool with either.”

“You know making out is supposed to be a reward for not lashing out at others, right?” Kaede remarked with a roll of her eyes. 

“C’moooon! All I did was show off some modifications! When haven’t I unveiled my brilliance to the class before?” Miu countered, easily giving away which outcome she preferred. 

Kaede sighed as she once again explained in detail what the inventor had done wrong. It was as though the conversation they literally just had never even happened. The pianist couldn't help but wonder if perhaps her second hidden talent was that of the Ultimate Debater for how often she had to stand her ground with her unruly girlfriend. Even if such a prospect never interested her, she bet she could reasonably qualify for the position these days given how often she “practiced”. 

But despite how unstable and chaotic their relationship must’ve looked on the outside, despite the countless number of times Miu would give Kaede a headache over something inane…she wouldn't trade it for anything, not even Mozart's Viennese fortepiano. Ever since that fateful day she found Miu crying her heart out alone behind the dumpsters after Keebo gently turned down her confession, the compassionate musician knew from here on out that this girl deserved to be loved by somebody. And if that somebody was going to be her, then so be it. 

Plus, it helps that she did always find her at least physically attractive…

However, those glimpses behind the veil of vulgarity and arrogance Miu was so keen to put up, that was what really kept Kaede coming back. While most people were quick to write her off after their first or second encounter with the inventor, Kaede pushed further as part of her goal to befriend all her classmates. Miu had always been an intriguing case to her since they met; so prideful yet quick to submissiveness at the drop of a hat. She was no psychologist (let alone an Ultimate Psychologist) but she had a hunch there was more to this behavior than a masochistic kink of sorts. And as she got to know Miu better and started to date her, it dawned on Kaede just how much of an impact her presence really had on the girl. It only increased her drive to be there for her when no one else would. 

Kaede recognized that their relationship may not have been the most healthy thing in the world. But she didn’t care because it was theirs and theirs alone. So long as she could help Miu overcome her personal struggles and become the best version of herself she can be, she couldn't care less what others thought. They didn't know Miu like she did, get to see the tender side that only her and Keebo were allowed to see (and one day Shuichi as they were building Miu's trust in him). 

Which led Kaede to think back to Jack. The parallels between him and Miu were painfully obvious. She knew it was only fair to show him the same support she showed Miu if he was to ever find his place in Class 79. Apart from Miu’s jealous-fueled antagonizing, Tenko’s temperament regarding the opposite sex, and Kokichi's…sensibilities, Jack didn’t seem too opposed to his new peers. Kaede just needed to find a way to better connect him with them to alleviate the awkward stigma that comes with being the new kid.

…

One-on-one sessions with each classmate? That could work. Perhaps the problem was Kaede forcing socialization on Jack too soon and all at once with the class breakfast gathering. She felt so stupid in hindsight. She should've known managing everyone together was a tall order even for someone as organized as herself. Kaede was no Chisa Yukizome… 

And while that thought did make her feel somewhat doubtful in her role as class representative, it was something she would have to put away in the back of her mind. Getting to know her friends personally in her free time was how she got to where she was now, and Jack would be no different. The Ultimate Pianist will make him feel welcome at Hope’s Peak!

…after she gives him his space first. Maki did warn her about being unintentionally too pushy in the past. It was something Kaede had to work on for herself. Truly, pobody’s nerfect.