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Although her grandma says that all Bridgertons marry for love, Jane guiltily thinks there’s something different about her parents. They’re not like Uncle Anthony and Aunt Kate who argue all the time but are always kissing when they think nobody is watching. They’re not like Aunt Sophie and Uncle Benedict who always seem to know what the other is doing. Or like Aunt Francesca or Uncle John who can stay in a room silently for hours on end. They’re not even like the other lords and ladies of the ton who refer to each other as, “my love” or “my lord” or other icky things. Jane’s only ever heard her Papa refer to her Mama as “Clara” and Mama never ever calls Papa.
The only one Mama ever calls on is Footman William who takes them out to the city and other places in the months that Papa is out traveling. Sometimes Jane wonders if Mama likes Footman William more than Papa but that feels like a ridiculous thought. She knew Mama and Footman William never sleep in the same bed and everyone knew you had to sleep in the same bed if you liked each other. Or at least that’s what Papa and Mama said had to happen when Jane had asked for a baby sister. Mama had said that Papa snored too much so they couldn’t sleep in the same bed and bring another sibling. Then Mama said that Jane was their perfect child and they didn’t need any more!
Papa hadn’t said much when Jane had asked - only saying it did not signify. But Papa didn't say much to Jane anyways, prefering sleep and travel.
But the night she'd asked, Papa had taken her to Gunthers which had been so much fun! Even if Papa had spent the entire time staring at the Fife family.
Jane wasn’t sure why Papa was so odd about the Fife family – always leaving the room when they were mentioned and going out of his way to avoid them except on days where he would go specifically to look for them. Jane thought Agatha and her brothers were a lot of fun! Agatha was so smart and clever just like Lady Fife and could already read the big books at the bookstore. And Thomas and George were so little and nice that it almost made Jane wish she had brothers. But she knew better – her cousin Belinda had told her all about how annoying brothers were.
Jane had asked Agatha once if her parents talked about her Papa when they were together and Agatha had said that her parents spent all their time talking and laughing about all sorts of things but she didn’t think they’d ever brought up Jane’s Papa.
“Oh and kissing. They kiss all the time,” Agatha had said, making a disgusted face that, for some reason, looked exactly like Jane’s Aunt Eloise for a second.
She had wanted to ask Agatha more but she’d become distracted by Agatha’s funny stories. Oh Agatha was so clever! Jane wished that they were sisters but the last time she had said that, Jane’s Mama had spent the evening crying and her Papa left the house for days. Jane wasn’t sure why but she knew better than to mention the Fife’s in her home.
But that didn’t mean Jane didn’t spend time with the Fife’s! She still liked to go visit their house as much as possible. They lived in the biggest house on the street since Lord Fife was a Marquis and they had soooo many amazing things. Lord Fife was always buying Lady Fife crazy gadgets to make her smile. The last one was called “a lamp” Agatha had said. Lady Fife had rolled her eyes at the lord but had given him a kiss as they giggled over putting it together. Lord Fife also always brought the prettiest things for Agatha because he said she was “his Princess that came from his Queen”.
Jane’s Mama had started sending Jane over when she and Footman William went on one of their special trips when her Papa was gone and Lady Fife was always happy to see her. She even had a spare room she considered her own which George and Thomas were not allowed in! Lady Fife always gave her a kiss goodnight and a cuddle and she always smelled like beautiful flowers.
But Jane knew she couldn’t tell her Papa that since the only thing he hated more than hearing about Agatha was hearing about Lady Fife. The last time that Jane had stayed over, her Papa had come home early from his latest trip and had decided to pick her up. She’d hid as her Papa spoke to Lord and Lady Fife since it seemed like they were talking about her.
“She is a child, Bridgerton,” Lord Fife said coolly. “We will not turn away a child looking for comfort. Perhaps you should wonder as to why she searches for it here.”
Jane’s Papa had made a complicated face.
“Do not tell me how to parent my daughter,” Papa had strangled out looking like he was going to hit Lord Fife.
“Ah…yes. I cannot imagine having to parent your daughter for you,” Lord Fife had said, giving one of his little smirks.
There was a strange feeling in the room, like they were going to fight like cousins Charles and Edmund did sometimes. But Lady Fife had come in the middle and separated them.
“I apologize if we overstepped Mr. Bridgerton,” Lady Fife had said. “Please feel free to take Jane home.”
Papa had stared at Lady Fife like he wanted to cry, hands curling towards her and then back inward to himself. But Lord Fife had interrupted, pressing a soft kiss to Lady Fife’s forehead and leading them away.
Neither of them had looked back as Jane’s Papa stood in their foyer, making a face that made Jane want to cry with sadness for some reason.