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Despite never having actually graduated, Jack had somehow ended up the group doctor. He had some medical knowledge, more than the average person, and he had been training to be a doctor, but he never even finished his second year of medical school. His training was the basic necessities and that was all- and yet, every single time anything went wrong in this God awful cabin, he could always expect to hear the same thing.
“JAAAAAACK!”
Jack glanced up- or, rather, his head shot up at the sound of his name. It was always him people wanted, never Laughing Jack. Just him, every fucking time.
With a begrudging sigh, he grabbed his mask and fixed it on his face, steeling himself to stitch back together Toby’s hand or to explain to Sally why feeding the dog chocolate would still kill him, just like it almost had the last three times.
What he wasn’t expecting was to make it halfway up the stairs and pause when he heard the sound of smashing glass and screaming.
A man’s voice.
Toby rushed to the top of the stairs leading to the basement and grabbed Jack’s arm, trying to pull him faster. He grimaced at the touch and pulled his arm away coldly, not before a small, irritated grunt escaped his throat.
“It’s Jeff,” Was all Toby explained, this time pointing with a shaking hand towards Jeff’s room. “I tried to calm him down, but-“
Jack shook his head. “I get it. Once he’s pissed, he’s pissed.”
Toby nodded in understanding.
“Is he hurt?” Jack asked.
Toby nodded.
“Fatally?”
Toby shook his head. Jack fought back a sarcastic, “then why am I here?”, and instead cracked both sides of his neck.
“Is there blood?”
Once again, Toby shook his head. A vase, or an old picture frame, something made of glass was thrown at a wall, followed by a guttural scream.
“Is he just mad at someone?” Jack deadpanned. “He’s always mad at someone. That’s not a medical emergency.”
Toby fumbled with his hands under the pressure. “I j-… It’s bad. He’s gonna hurt himself,” He forced out, stumbling over almost every word.
So, today instead of playing doctor, Jack was playing councillor.
How fun.
He decided interrogating Toby to procrastinate was no longer serving him any good, and with no further comment, he walked forward and left Toby by the stairs with almost machine-like focus. He walked straight to Jeff’s door and waited outside to gauge whether or not just walking in was safe.
He could hear things being dragged around before finally getting tossed at walls, things that were far too heavy and had to leave dents, maybe worse. He was going to take down the whole cabin if he wasn’t careful. The screaming never subsided, only ever pausing for him to catch his breath and brace himself before letting out another elongated screech that erupted from his core.
Oh well. If Jack got hit in the face with a bedframe, maybe he’d get knocked out and not have to deal with anyone for the day.
He should’ve gone down the dentistry route. Tooth doctor was much less demanding.
He pulled open the door with a shake of his head and stepped inside.
Pillows and bedsheets were thrown all over the room, with the nearest pillow being about a foot away from him. Pieces of paper had been shredded to pieces and crumpled, and along with everything else, basically used as decorative confetti.
Worst of all, his bed was on its side, his bedside drawers were all tipped over with the contents leaking onto the floor, and there were dents in every single wall, some so extreme that they’d become fully formed holes, giving Jeff’s roommate no privacy.
Either Jeff hadn’t noticed Jack, or he didn’t care, because when Jack finally laid eyes on him, he was standing by his wardrobe and straining to tip it over. It was so heavy that the crash was certainly going to fracture the wooden frame, so Jack rushed towards it and pushed it upright, fighting against Jeff’s efforts.
“GET… THE FUCK… OUT!” Jeff screamed from behind the wardrobe, grunting and yelling to try to move the piece of furniture, and then screaming once more in anguish when he realised he’d met his match.
Jack waited until the wardrobe wasn’t about to topple and kill him before stepping around it and reaching for Jeff’s arm.
Jeff looked visibly distraught, and it was borderline terrifying. The worst of it was his eyes; his pupils were massive, insanely enlarged, almost turning his irises wholly black, and they were darting around the room frantically. Jeff’s eyes locked onto Jack, and as soon as he reached forward to grab him, he let out a blood curdling yelp and recoiled into himself. His pupils halved in size, and then halved again, and then he was staring up at Jack, red in the face, with tiny pupils.
He was terrified. Beyond terrified.
This was a trauma response.
“DON’T- DON’T FUCKIN’ TOUCH ME!” He gasped, suddenly reaching for his own throat as if trying to rip it open for the oxygen.
Panic. Sheer, unbridled panic.
Jack held up his hands in clear retreat, stepping back, and trying to make himself look smaller.
“Okay,” He agreed. “I’m not going to touch you. Just sit down.”
Without thinking, Jeff barked back, “YOU SIT DOWN!”
Jack tried not to laugh and instead stepped even further back so he wasn’t backing Jeff into a corner. In response- or even just simultaneously, Jack wasn’t sure- Jeff began to scream again, pulling at his hair and trying to rip it out of his own scalp, all while closing his eyes and hunching over.
Jack didn’t want to cross a line, but Jeff was hurting himself, and he had to stop him. He chewed his bottom lip and stepped closer before taking Jeff’s wrists and untangling his hands from his hair.
Jeff hissed at the touch as if it physically burned him and Jack didn’t doubt it. Jeff lived in his room, going as far as to hide food in his drawers so he never had to leave unless it was for the bathroom or to brush his teeth once a month when he had the energy or his gums started to bleed. Nobody looked at him.
Hell, nobody even liked him. Jeff’s only real friend was Ben, and even then the two were merely acquaintances. Toby’s concern earlier was nothing more than fear at being the one Jeff’s rage was directed at, not actual compassion. It was never compassion. Not with Jeff.
Jeff’s yelling ceased and very suddenly he stared up at Jack with his tiny pupils scanning every inch of that blue plastic mask, scouring for any semblance of threat, and all he whispered was the smallest, “please don’t hurt me.”
Jack moved Jeff’s wrists from his head and shook his head. “I’m not going to hurt you,” He said, but he must not have sounded very convincing, because Jeff started to thrash and pull at Jack’s grip until he actually managed to escape. He darted behind the wardrobe and slid behind it until he was past the other side.
Jack stepped around it to catch up with him, unsure where he was running to. This was his bedroom, it was absolutely tiny. There was nowhere to hide that Jack wouldn’t find him.
But, it was becoming increasingly obvious that Jeff wasn’t thinking logically. In fact, he was being so irrational, looking around his room for an escape but not even considering the open door that Jack finally realised what was going on.
Everybody knew that Jeff was bipolar, but the episodes they were most familiar with were his depressive episodes. He had them constantly, so constantly that it was borderline every other week. He’d become bed bound and refuse to eat or shower or brush his teeth and he’d spend the whole time convincing himself he was deserving of every bad thing that had ever happened to him. He became self destructive, violent to anyone that dared come near him or offer help, and sometimes he’d sleep through multiple days. One time it had gotten so bad he’d almost died, because he didn’t drink water for almost three days. It was the reason Jeff swapped with Sally for the only room with the en-suite bathroom- God knows what he’d do during depressive episodes if he had to actually leave his room to piss.
What people didn’t see very often was Jeff’s manic episodes. That was, his manic episodes were either few and far between, or he always acted manic anyway, so it was really difficult to tell.
Everything about Jeff right now was screaming manic episode. The fear, the dilated pupils, the violent outbursts, the delusion. Jack wasn’t equipped with the right resources to help with a manic episode so for a moment he just stood there, unmoving.
After a minute of debate, Jack called out firmly, “Jeff.”
Jeff wasn’t listening, and he ran to climb onto his bed, almost falling onto his knees.
“Jeff,” Jack repeated, firmer this time. Still, no reply.
“Why were you screaming?” Jack prodded further.
“He followed me!” Jeff rambled, falling onto his ass on his mattress and crumbling into a ball. He hid his face in his knees and covered his head as if anticipating for a bomb to go off.
“Who followed you?” Jack asked calmly, as if trying to get Jeff to match his tone. He refused to speak over him. If Jeff couldn’t hear him, he’d have to quieten down too. He took the chance when Jeff wasn’t looking to move closer to him, pausing a few inches away from his bed.
“I’M SORRY,” Jeff shrieked, shoulders bobbing with the struggle.
“Jeff…” Jack grunted, losing his patience. His ears twitched at the loud noise. Fuck; his ears were starting to ring. He was going to go insane if Jeff didn’t start making some sense.
“I didn’t wanna’ do it, tell him, tell him!” Jeff gasped. It was only then that Jack realised he was actually crying. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d ever seen Jeff cry, and they’d both been proxies for years.
“Didn’t want to…? Tell who? Jeff, please-“
“FUCK OFF!” Jeff barked. Jack got the sense it wasn’t towards him. His head shot up and his eyes were bloodshot, almost glowing red. His eyes were wide and flickered across every inch of his room while his chest heaved.
“I WAS SAVIN’ YOU! I MADE YOU A MARTYR, I WAS PROTECTIN’ YOU!”
Jack needed to defuse this and fast, but that was impossible if he had no idea what was going on.
“Please, will you jus-“
“I DID THIS FOR YOU!” He growled, teeth bared as he spat the last word with violent rage. “YOU! SO YOU WOULDN’T BE TAKEN BY HIM! I SACRIFICED MYSELF, ALL OF THIS WAS FOR YOU! TO KEEP YOU SAFE!”
The grating nose made Jack’s ears flutter once more. He debated leaving, since this conversation was less productive than just smashing Jeff over the head with a pan and knocking him out.
Brain damage could do him some good.
Jack met where Jeff’s gaze had locked on to. He was staring dead ahead, and Jack couldn’t see anything. It just confirmed that this was certainly a manic episode; Jeff was hallucinating.
“There’s nothing there.”
“He is,” Jeff sobbed. “I swear it, I’m not crazy!”
“I never said crazy,” Jack defended. “You need to relax.”
Jeff turned red with rage and his eyes widened. Jack immediately backtracked before he got punched. He said what he thought would help ground him.
“You’re being irrational. It’s a hallucination; I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s going on.”
So, apparently that wasn’t the right thing to say. How, Jack had no idea. It was logical. It was true. It was helpful. What else was he missing?
Clearly it was something, because Jeff lunged forward and grabbed a lock of Jack’s hair, tugging at his dreadlocks and almost ripping them clean off.
The pain was so intense that it sent Jack to his knees.
“YOU- SON OF A BITCH!” Jack cursed without thinking, and instinct took over. His hands reached up to grab before he could stop himself, and next he knew, Jeff was crying and blubbering underneath him, and Jack was on top of him on his bed, pinning him down and snarling. His mask was lifted just above his mouth, covering his nose and upwards. His teeth were bared and it looked for a second like Jack was going to kill him.
“STOP IT,” Jeff begged. “DON’T HURT ME, I SWEAR I’LL STOP.”
Jack closed his mouth and his blood ran cold.
“I’LL BE GOOD,” He bargained, tears running down his cheeks and falling onto his mattress. “I’M SO SORRY.”
Jack let go of Jeff and crawled backwards until he was at the end of Jeff’s bed, nervously smoothing down his hair.
“I’m sorry,” He croaked out. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I don’t know why I…”
“You don’t have to stay here,” Jeff interrupted, still blubbering.
“… What?”
Jeff sat up slightly, crawling back until his back hit the wall. “You don’t have to stay with me. It’s not your job to t… ake care of me,” He bawled.
Jack visibly softened. His shoulders slumped and he let his head fall forward. He didn’t want to leave, not like he usually did. Not when he was begrudgingly fixing up the others, all while ranting inwardly at how stupid they were for getting themselves hurt in the first place.
No, this was different. The thought of leaving Jeff so scared and alone made him feel nauseous.
“It doesn’t have to be my job,” Jack hushed. “I want to do it anyway.”
Jeff hugged his legs and stared off into the distance, visibly distracted.
Taking a different approach, Jack decided to play into it. “Where is he?”
Jeff looked over and met Jack’s masked gaze. Nervously, he held a finger directly in front of him. His hand was trembling.
“Okay,” Jack agreed. “And who is he?”
“My…” Jeff’s throat bobbed, and for a second it looked like he was going to throw up. “… Brother.”
“Ah,” Jack nodded. “Okay. What is he doing?”
“There’s so… Much blood…” Jeff gasped. He subconsciously emerged slightly from the foetal position, head poking up.
“Is he alive?”
“He shouldn’t be.”
Jack nodded in understanding. This was working, whatever this was. Validating what Jeff was feeling and talking to him like an equal. Jack could do that.
“Nothing is going to hurt you.”
Jeff’s eyes softened. He knew what that really meant, so he finished Jack’s sentence for him. He said what Jack couldn’t.
“Not when you’re here.”
Jack was glad his face was hidden because he couldn’t hide a smile.
“Exactly.”
“Save you w… wasting equipment on me,” Jeff mumbled. Whether it was a joke or not, it was self deprecating, and Jack didn’t like it.
“Anything I do to keep you alive is never wasted,” He said matter-of-factly.
Jeff turned incredibly red at that. It should have been cute- in reality, it was heartbreaking. Was it really so unheard of to not want Jeff dead?
Neither of them said anything for the moment, drinking up the calm atmosphere while it lasted. Jeff rested his chin on his knees and waited for Jack to continue.
“… You did the right thing, killing your brother. You didn’t want The Operator to hurt him. You did the best you could.”
Jeff’s eyes burned with the weight of unshed tears. He refused to blink, and his eyes got all glossy and wide, almost like a puppy.
Jesus. Jack had never seen him so soft.
No, scratch that. He’d never seen anyone so soft. Jeff was staring at him with puppy dog eyes, hugging his knees while his bottom lip trembled. It was complete vulnerability; and from Jeffrey Woods, no less!
“I loved him so much,” He whispered. “Everybody thinks I’m evil.”
“None of us want to do what we do,” Jack corrected him. “Not one of us.”
Jeff tilted his head, thinking. “… LJ,” He spoke after careful consideration. He was trying to prove Jack wrong.
So, he was getting back to normal.
“… Yeah, okay, he’s the only one who actually enjoys it. He’s different. He doesn’t count,” Jack conceded, not before noticing a small smirk spread across Jeff’s face. It suited him.
“… You’re not like him,” He concluded. Jeff nodded with intention, as if he was soaking up the words. After they’d fully sunk in, he tipped his head up.
“Thank you for coming to find me.”
Jack didn’t mention that he’d only come over because Toby had called him. He decided that regular check-ins on Jeff would be a good idea; if not to make sure he wasn’t having an episode, then to sit and talk with him. Lord knows they could both use it.
“Anytime,” He nodded. “You could have come found me, you know.”
Jeff bit his lip. “I always want to, but I feel stupid coming to you every time something goes wrong. I feel so clingy.”
Jack couldn’t stop himself. “I don't mind clingy.”
Immediately he panicked, assuming it was the wrong thing to say, but Jeff stared over at him with the biggest smile and he sunk into his shoulders slightly as if he was going shy, and Jack calmed down.
He hadn’t fucked up. Not yet, at least.
“That so?” Jeff asked, sitting up completely, almost in anticipation. Jack wasn’t sure why.
“Yeah.”
Jeff suddenly scooted closer, pushing himself with his hands and kicking his legs over the side of the bed. It took longer than he’d have liked, and was honestly a little awkward to watch, but when he was done, he sat a few inches away from Jack, pretending to look around the room like he hadn’t moved at all.
Then, comically slowly, he leaned his head against Jack’s shoulder and continued to look around, refusing to face Jack at all in fear of being met with disgust.
The feeling of Jeff’s head on his arm made Jack stiffen and he sat up straight. Was he supposed to hold him back? To just sit there, to be something stable for Jeff to lean against, no strings attached?
Questions swirled in his head, but he decided to go with his instincts. He didn’t bother furthering the awkward side hug and instead grabbed Jeff’s waist, pulling him onto his lap completely, eliciting a small squeak from the man.
Jeff turned so that he was facing Jack, his legs either side of his lap, and then promptly buried his face in his neck. The smell of his cologne immediately soothed him and he almost deflated on his lap, hands reaching up to rest flat against Jack’s chest, nails clawing at his hoodie.
Jack simply draped his arms around Jeff’s waist and pulled him in a little more. He pretended not to feel Jeff nuzzling deeper and deeper into his shoulder, getting comfortable, and instead reciprocated by leaning forward to lean his chin on Jeff’s head.
They leaned against each other for a few full minutes, their breathing synching and Jeff’s eyes fluttering.
Finally, Jeff whispered into Jack’s neck, “if you don’t move me soon, I’m going to fall asleep.”
It was a warning to put him down, but Jack didn’t take it as one. Instead, he shifted back and leaned against the headboard, slouching until he was completely comfortable. He pulled Jeff in a little more by his hips until there wasn’t a millimetre of space between them, and they fit together perfectly.
“What are you doing?” Jeff croaked out, but was interrupted by the feeling of Jack gently pushing his head back down, and then the gentle sound of his voice whispering,
“Goodnight.”