Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Unlike my other au fic, this will be mostly one-shots of different parts of the book. You can request any particular scenes you would like to see worked out in the context of swap au. There is no chronological order and this is mostly just a fun whimsy project.

Chapter Text

     “Right, this is the Hooligan initiation program!” Barked Gobber, A 7 foot tall beast of a dragon with muscles on his muscles and a tough coat hardened by battle. “Your first task will be to….” Gober paused for dramatic effect. “Catch your Human!”

     The other dragons cheered, but Hiccup gave a silent groan. He happened to know considerably more about humans than the average dragon. Although they didn’t have sharp teeth or fire, they were crafty and could build weapons more powerful than the fire of all the dragon boys combined. 

     “Our Humans are what set us apart from those cowardly Dragons of the mainland. They build our castles, write our letters, and do the work that we, magnificent as we are, cannot.” Dragons had yet to evolve thumbs, which makes gripping tools and building things a hassle. It was not impossible, but it was easier to find a human and make them do it. “Now even though Humans are…mostly harmless, enough of them can pose a threat, I’m sure our resident human expert can explain some of the dangers of humans to you.” 

     “Oh um yes sir, of course, sir.” Hiccup said nervously, his skin under green scales flushing greener as blood rushed to his face. He never liked being the center of attention. Hiccup was a very ordinary-looking dragon, a deep green, with brown speckles. with dull colored spines, and a snout you couldn’t pick out from a crowd. The only thing really special about him were his bright red, spiky horns that stuck straight out in all directions, and shone like rubies. Though one of his bigger tan-colored horns was broken, thanks to a less than pleasant encounter with his older cousin Snotlout when Hiccup was 7.  “Humans might hot have fire or claws but they have other weapons, arrows, swords, axes, catapults, I think some humans in Asia just invented something called gunpowder and-”

     “That’s enough Hiccup!” Boomed Gobber. The young dragon shut up. “Now you see why it is so vital for this operation to be as stealthy as possible. This is why there is no  fire-breathing allowed on this mission unless absolutely necessary. Rely on your night vision, something Humans don’t have.” 

     “Oh great,” mumbled Fishlegs, Hiccup’s best friend and the only dragon lankier than him. Fishlegs was the only dragon in the archipelago to need glasses and his night vision was twice as bad as his day vision.

     “Now Hiccup will be leading you,” spoke Gobber. 

     “Oh no not Hiccup,"  the young dragons growled, “Anyone but Hiccup.” Hiccup smiled sheepishly, showing all of his -slightly duller than average- teeth. 

     “Oh please sir,” Said Snotface Snotlout, A beautiful light red and gold dragon with powerful, muscular wings and claws like iron knives. “Anyone would be better than Hiccup, even Fishlegs would be better than Hiccup.”

     “Silence,”  Gobber roared. The dragons fell silent. “Where do you think you are, the Republic of Rome?! Hiccup will be leading you, because he is the son of the Chief and that’s the way things go with us dragons! Oh, and if you fail to capture a human, you might as well not come back at all and wait for the humans to skin your hide and turn it into leather purses. There is no room for failures in the Hooligan tribe. DEATH OR GLORY!” Shouted Gobber.

     “DEATH OR GLORY,” shouted 10 dragons back at him. 

     Death , thought Fishlegs and Hiccup. 

     And so, in the formation of a V, as they were taught, the dragons flew, swift and silent, up to the wild Vir cliffs, where a small human Village was located. Once, if the stories Hiccup had heard had any truth to them, humans had lived alongside dragons, they and their villages were everywhere, in the forests, deserts, groggy wetlands, and beaches, but when Hiccup’s great-great-great grandfather began to enslave them, the ones who could fled. Now there were only a few human Villages remaining in the in the world, and they were all tightly guarded. Having a human servant was now a symbol of status, as well as a practical tool. Only the best dragons could burgle one.  

       Servant , Hiccup thought, a knot in his stomach, just another word for slave….no, no it was different, right? They weren’t like them, they weren’t dragons. They were small, rude, fleshy creatures….right? The Hooligan tribe had never engaged in traditional dragon slavery, but to also lack human servants, that would be a sign of weakness.

     Hiccup flew at the front but there he didn't  stay for long. He didn’t even protest when Snotlout shoved him out of the way to take the lead. “Ok gang, I’m in charge, not useless here.”  Hiccup didn’t bother trying to fight for his right to be leader, he just made his way to the back of the v formation, joining his friend Fishlegs. 

     The dragons flew low, over the village walls and defenses, silent as the night. There each dragon would use their burglary skills to steal a human to be their servant. The village was incredible, at least this is what Hiccup saw. The other dragons didn’t know the significance of the buildings, the history, the artistry. Though he was afraid, Hiccup was also completely enamored. Actually being inside a human village was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. 

     “What are you doing, Hiccup,” asked Fishlegs once they landed in the village. “You're supposed to be looking for a human, preferably a big strong one.” But Hiccup was already wandering off to one of the churches to admire its craftsmanship.

     “Oh um….yeah yeah…I’ll do that a little later.” Fishlegs gave a sigh, he would never understand his friend’s obsession with these strange little creatures. 

     Fishlegs tried to pick the locks to many village doors, but he wasn’t any good, so he had to settle for the only house in the village whose door was unlocked, a house that, unbeknownst to him, had an old lady who LOVED cats. 

     Now typically dragons did not have any allergies but Fishlegs was an exception and was VERY allergic to cat fur. As soon as the door creaked open, it only took one whiff of the air and…

     “A-a-achool!” 

The little old lady opened her eyes and stared in horror at Fishlegs for a brief moment, before reaching out for a little brown rope. Ding dong, range the alarm bell through the air. 

     Fishlegs panicked, flapping his wings rapidly, which made the poor old woman scream in fear. He could hear more bells ringing, the village, which was dark as night, was now being lit up. Lamps and torches would soon be followed by swords and arrows. Fishlegs quickly backed out of the hut. 

     “Nice going Fishlegs,” Speedyfist sneered before an arrow zinged past him, forcing him to back away.

      Fishlegs was very grateful to find his best friend Hiccup, no longer interested in the architecture of the buildings. “We have to get out of here!” Hiccup said frantically. 

     “I..don’t…have…a human,” Fishlegs panted.

     “That doesn’t matter,” Hiccup said quickly, lifting up several meters into the sky to dodge several more arrows. He might have been a small dragon but he was surprisingly agile. Fishlegs joined him, although a little slower. 

      “No, Human,” Fishlegs repeated. 

     “Oh for Thor's sake!” Hiccup lifted one of the least threatening looking Humans he could find up into the air with his claws. She was a 30-something-year-old woman, slightly chubby, with curly brown hair, glasses, and a long blotchy leather skirt. She didn’t even protest as Hiccup chucked her onto the back of Fishlegs. “Go!”

     “But what about you,” Fishlegs asked anxiously. 

     “I think I saw a human in the forest outside the town walls. Go now, I’ll meet up with you later.” Fishlegs gave a nod. He swiftly flew back to the base of the mountain, where Gobber was waiting for them. His red scales looked to be pulsing with Anger 

     “Well that was a complete disaster!” he roared, “You are all disgraces to the name Hooligan! Why, in 13 years I have never seen a simple initiation go so horribly wrong, and where is Hiccup?!”

     Just at that moment, Hiccup flew in, crash-landing at Gobbers feet. “Here,”  he said timidly. 

     Gobber groaned, "At least you are all alive, and I assume you all have your humans?”

     ‘Yes sir,” all the boys echoed back, including Hiccup. 

     “I know this human is your Hiccup,” said Fishlegs glumly, “you can have her back. You know I accept my fate of being exiled. Maybe I can become a bard.”

    Hiccup shook his head grinning, “No, I really do have a human, only they are sleeping.” For the first time Fishlegs noticed a large pile of blankets in Hiccup's paw. It was almost as if fate was waiting for Hiccup to find this human, all alone in the woods. 

     “Wow, that’s incredible, I wonder what kind of human it is, I bet it’s someone really strong, or really clever like you.” 

     Hiccup smiled, “Psh Fishlegs, I’m sure it’s just a regular human like everybody else.” Though, secretly Hiccup was getting excited, his imagination filled with the kind of human he could have picked up.  Carefully, Hiccup unwrapped the bundle of blankets  to find….the smallest human child he had ever seen.

     “Are humans meant to be this…..small?” asked Fishlegs politely. He gave an inquisitive look at the little child with wild, curly ginger hair and mud-stained green tunic. 

      ‘It’s still a child,” Hiccup explained. “It’ll grow bigger soon….I hope.”

     “Can it even work?”

     Hiccup shook his head. "I don’t know, but we can’t go back to the village. So I guess I’m stuck with this human now.” 

     Just as was Hiccup’s luck, his mean older cousin took this moment to stroll up to them, dragging a tall, muscular woman with large gold earrings and a red dress. She did not look amused, but seemed to know when she was beaten, and did not put up a fight. She did however mutter a string of profusely furious curses. However, only Hiccup knew what she was saying. He spoke Humanese, the rare language of the humans. Most dragons did not know this beautiful tongue full of soft and delicate almost mumbly sounds.  

     "Take a look at my human, Useless. She’ll make a mighty fine servant don’t you think." The woman tossed her hair glaring at being called a servant. Hiccup guessed she was probably human royalty or nobility or something like that. "Let’s see yours.” Hiccup tried to keep the child away from Snotlout, but Snotlout swung his tail at Hiccup's leg, causing Hiccup to drop the child hard on the mossy ground below. It started to cry. 

     “Awww got yourself a wittle crwybaby, Useless?” sneered Snotlout.

      Hiccup picked the child up, making sure that it wasn’t hurt. “Why don’t you go pick on someone your own size Snotlout.”

     Snotlout grinded, breathing a buff of fire at Hiccup’s face. Hiccup closed his eyes just before the fire could get to them. It was a dirty trick, dragon eyes were the only part of a dragon that were not fireproof, but Hiccup knew Snotlout didn’t really care. Dragons were not exactly known for fighting fair. “Because I loathe you with every scale on my body. When I’m chief, I will make sure to Banish you, and your pathetic human.”

     The human child took this particular moment to yawn, and reveal a mouth with about 2 thirds of the teeth missing. 

     The dragons burst out laughing. “Oh look, Hiccup got himself a toothless human!” Hiccup’s face blushed a deep sea-green. 

     “I’ll have you know that this is VERY normal for a human of this age! Old teeth fall out and new teeth grow in after a few months-” But nobody was listening. A dragon's teeth were about as important as their fire or wings. While a toothless human wasn’t necessarily going to impact the task the human needed to do, it would make Hiccup seem like even more of a weakling than he already was. 

     After Gober explained to the dragons that in order to pass the second half of the initiation they needed to train their humans. Training books on humans were notoriously rare. Humans, who were scribes for the dragons, were for some reason unwilling to write about how to train themselves. One of the only copies, luckily, was located in the great hall of Berk. The little dragon Village of the Hooligan tribe. Gobber had burgled it himself from the Meathead public library. 

     “So what do we do?” Asked Fishlegs. 

      Hiccup shrugged, “Go to the great hall I guess, Unless you have a better idea of how to train a human.” 

Chapter Text

 The book, how to Train Your Human by professor Yobbish, was surprisingly light. There was only one piece of advice, much to Hiccup’s dismay.  “Yell at it.”

    Hiccup sighed. 

     “That’s it?” Asked Fishlegs, peering over Hiccup’s shoulder at the book. “Just yell at it.” 

     The woman cleared her throat, speaking softly. “What’s Horrorcow saying?” asked Fisghlegs. He had decided to name his Human Horrorcow. 

     “She says that she doesn’t really like being yelled at. You can just ask her. Also, she says she already has a name. It’s Hellan.” 

     “Oh,” Fishlegs blushed. “I’m sorry, I didn't know humans had names.” 

     The woman gave a kind smile and spoke. Hiccup translated again. “She says it’s alright. You can call her Horrorcow if you want. She doesn’t mind having a nickname.”

    “Wow. She’s a really agreeable human.” Helen blushed at the complement. “Do you think your human will be this polite?” 

     “I hope so,” Hiccup spoke, thinking about the child sleeping on his bed. 

     As it turned out. The child was not nearly as polite as Helen. When Hiccup tried to ask it any questions it would just stick its pink, round tongue out and make a face. Eventually, Hiccup was able to get some useful information out of the child,who had a stutter and a small vocabulary, which made communication even more of a chore.  Hiccup learned, through hard effort, that the child wasn’t actually part of the human village, he just happened to be near it. He did not know his parents nor his name, which is usually something children know, even small ones.

     Hiccup tried to figure out a name for the child. Now hiccup was a creative dragon, but his talent did not extend to names, he just named the child Toothless and be done with it. The child didn’t complain. 

     Stoick didn’t approve of Toothless. “Such a small human. Can it even work?” Hiccup tried to explain that Toothless was still a very, very young child, but Stoick wouldn’t listen. Hiccup could see the disappointment in Stoick’s eyes as he Nudged toothless with his great, red snout, giving him a thoughtful whiff.

     Luckily Fishlegs came to the rescue. ‘You see sir, this may look like just a normal human but um….he’s royalty.” Fishlegs lied. 

       “Really? Royalty you say?” Now this did interest Stoick very much. Hiccup stared at Fishlegs, wondering what he was doing, but Fishlegs was on a roll now. “He’s a long lost prince, of an ancient lineage of strong, warrior humans. The umm Toothless daydream lineage.” Hiccup felt like he wanted to whack his friend with his tail to get him to shut up. 

     This answer, spotty as it was, seemed to satisfy Stoick who gave a nod. Ah yes, the legendary Toothless daydreams, how could he have forgotten that famous human family? 

     “Well I trust that training this human is going well?”

      “Actually father, I’m having some difficulty getting Toothless to behave and-” Hiccup tried to explain to his father. 

     “Have you tried yelling at it?” Stoick gave some well-meaning, albeit completely useless advice. 

     “I- yes….father.” Hiccup realized trying to get through to Stoick was like trying to get through to a brick wall. 

     “Atta boy, " Stoick said, giving his son a fatherly nudge with his great wings. “I’m sure you'll figure it out. You have the green blood of the Horrendous Haddocks flowing through you.”

     “I wish I was as sure as you,” muttered Hiccup, hopelessly as Stoick trudged off. 

     “D-d-do you r-really think T-t-toothless is a p-prince?” asked Toothless, staring up at Hiccup with his large green eyes. 

     Hiccup sighed, Toothless seemed genuinely happy at the thought of being a long-lost prince. He didn’t want to disappoint him. “I don’t know, Toothless. Maybe?” 

     Toothless gave an excited shout. “T-toothless is a- a prince, t-toothless is a p-prince!”

     Hiccup gave his friend a glare. “You know this idea will never leave him now, right?”

    Fishlegs looked back at hiccup sheepishly. “Oh, right, sorry.”

Chapter Text

     A storm was brewing, with ominous black thunder-clouds building overhead, coming together like a murder of angry crows. There was a flash of lighting and Hiccup thought, just for a moment, he could see the terrible face of a human giant in the water, with a thick, black beard, flowing like the rivers, and hard green eyes that shone like the stars and held not a drop of mercy in them–not a giant, but a sea god –but the terrifying image was gone as soon as Hiccup blinked. 

       Hiccup’s tail shot up in surprise as the dragon keeping watch shouted. “ NUTJOB LAND AHO-O-O-OY!!!”

     Everyone scampered over to the rim of the ship, pushing, clawing, and biting to be the first to lay their eyes on the new land, that magical place of America. Hiccup flapped his wings nervously. He couldn’t fly away even if he wanted to, the weights around his ankle were keeping him grounded. He knew what would happen now.

     Just along the gray, smudged horizon, the land seemed to stretch on for infinity. The land that was bathed in sunshine, with skies bluer than sapphires. The land of dreams really did exist after all. Once Norbert had laid eyes on that land, he set his jaw in a sharp, cruel grin,  ready to exact an old revenge. 

      “Now, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the third,” growled Norbert, “I have no need of you now, and since I have no need of you…PREPARED TO DIE YOU HORRIBLE SNAKE WITH WINGS!”

     Norbert’s human, a good-natured but subordinate man named Doomer raised the heavy axe of Doom high in the air, at Norbert's command. 

     “You-you don't have to do this!” begged Hiccup, though he knew it was pointless. Doomer had already proven himself to be less than an ally on his quest for the potato several months ago. 

     “I’m sorry,” said the man, sounding genuine, “but orders are orders. I ain’t the boss.” 

Hiccup knew that he couldn’t run–due to their small size humans were surprisingly fast–and the weight around his ankle was preventing him from flying. Just before the man could take a swing at Hiccup’s neck, he shouted as loud as he could, “WAIT! DON’T KILL ME JUST BECAUSE I HAVE GREEN SCALES, NORBERT!” 

     The hysterics crowded at the rail of the ship turned around, even the ones who had started to fly up into the windy air in excitement landed black on the ship's deck and turned to face  Hiccup in surprise. 

     “What’s going on?” Asked very Viciously Violent, whose scales were the green of the deepest, murkiest parts of the ocean, where air dragons dared not swim to lest they awaken some ancient evil. 

      The man holding the axe paused, waiting for his master to give him orders. 

     “What are you talking about?” sputtered Norbert in confusion. 

     “NORBERT DOESN'T WANT DRAGONS WITH GREEN SCALES IN THE PROMISED LAND!” screeched Hiccup. “HE’S GOING TO KILL US ALL WITH HIS AXE OF DOOM AND TERRIBLE FIRE!”  Now, by complete coincidence, Norbert had been picking on the green scaled members of the tribe more than the others. The green-scaled dragons extended their claws and bared their teeth with an angry grumble of revolt. 

     Now for their part, the golden dragons had always felt a little superior in secret. Now that Norbert brought it up, how marvelous would it be to have a whole tribe of golden dragons, shining brighter than the treasures of the old kings flying through the bright blue skies like dozens of brilliant new suns?” 

     They retracted their razor-sharp claws as well. Within only a few seconds, Norbert stared open-mouthed, as the entire proud dragons of tribe of the Nutjobs were fighting amongst themselves as if they were desperate foes. 

     It was a terrible battle, Thor’s thunder boomed in the distantes like a terrible war drum amongst the bleak and blackened skies. 

     Jagged lightning plunged into the sea, frying any poor fish swimming or merpeople below. 

     Camicaizi joined Hiccup in fighting Norbert. Norbert’s human, Doomer, had deserted.  Humans are only loyal to their masters up to a point, and with America so close by, Doomer chose to just jump out of the boat and make a swim for it. Maybe he made it to freedom, maybe not. Humans don't particularly like being servants or slaves. Fancy that? 

     “You,” teased Camicazi as her tail thwacked Norbert on his shiny, scaly head. “Have the brains of a electrosquirm with a lobotomy. You have the leadership skills of a hogfly with social anxiety. You couldn’t run an empire larger than my toilet without making a complete dog’s breakfast out of it…which is a bit of a problem for a dictator.”

     Hiccup lunged out with a left-winged swipe attack, and Norbet was so distracted by Camicazi’s taunts that he didn't notice in time. Somehow, little Hiccup managed to throw a dragon three times his size of balance. 

    Camicazi bit him in the side. "Ooh, nice scales, do you use polish?” 

     With a howl of pure rage, Norbert shook her off of him. Camicazi ducked a breath of fire aimed at her eyes–the only part of a dragon that isn't fire-proof. 

     “Mind your temper,” she scolded. Norbert was so furious he couldn't see Hiccup's double-twist tail attack coming until it nearly put a hole through his wing. 

     Meanwhile, Camicazi snuck behind him and bit the rope off of the ticking thing, which was tied tightly to his tail. 

    “Is this yours?” she teased, dangling it in front of him. “You really have to be careful, someone might steal it.”

     “Give it here!” roared Norbert, slashing at her, only for Camicazi to nimbly dodge his attack. 

     “Come and get it,” sang Camicazi, before she threw it to Hiccup, who caught it in his jaws, careful not to bite too hard and damage it. 

     Now Norbert was bright green in the face with fury. He launched himself high into the air before diving down on the two young dragons, like a bird of prey. Luckily for the two young dragons, Hiccup and Camicazi were just a smidge faster in getting out of the way, and Norbert got a mouth of nothing but boat deck when he came crashing back down. 

       No one knows what else would have happened if little Toothless hadn't decided that he was going to be helpful. He grabbed Norbert's big American map, which was 2 times the size he was. He climbed up Norbert’s back, using the spikes to steady himself, and threw the map over the vicious dragon’s head. 

     Toothless grinned, a childish gap-toothed smile. “T-Toothless did so w-well.” he congratulated himself. “S-such good climbing, T-Toothless is the b-best climber!”

     The deck lurched violently as a wave crashed into the ship. Norbert tried to regain his balance, but with the map covering his vision, he couldn't see where he was going. He stumbled right then left, and eventually bashed into Red Ronald, who was still peddling at the Stop-the-boat-from-sinking-and-scare-away-the-sea-gods machine, with such tremendous force that both Red Ronald and, more importantly, the machine , fell over the rim of the boat into the vast ocean below. 

     There was a great, silent pause.  “Oh, toothless,” groaned Hiccup, shutting both his eyelids tight. 

     They were so close to the promised land. It was no longer a pale twisting outline, but a long swoop of white beach with great waves crashing into the shore and mysterious figures on the beach. 

      But now the machine was no longer falling that wizard-cursed giant spear back and forth, and a sea god, the sea god everyone had forgotten about, was finally able to get close to the ship. 

     Having regained his balance, Norbert shook his head so the map drifted down to the floor, where it was picked up by a gust of wind and flew far far away. He saw the massive figure of the legendary sea god moving towards them. 

     No dragon was fighting now. All had recognized a far greater danger, a danger that was older than the dragon-kind itself, that was angry at their impudence for daring to cross HIS ocean without HIS permission. 

     “Brace yourself!” shouted a gold dragon as the full figure of Njord the sea god became visible. His great beard tossing like the unruly waves, and his furious green eyes seemed to be made of thunder clouds and hurricanes. Hiccup let out a low whine of fear. He was a brave dragon, but even he had his limits. Even if this god was human-shaped, it was NOT a human, it was still a GOD. and if there was one thing Hiccup knew absolutely for sure ever since he was a little hatchling. YOU DO NOT WANT TO PISS OFF A GOD.

Chapter Text

     Hiccup was plunged down in the broken iron cage, and was caught by the unimaginably large and callous hand of a monstrous human giant, radiating magic and power, and yet leashed like a dog and bound by massive chains nonetheless. The human didn't look at Hiccup, simply pinching Hiccup’s wings between his fingers so he couldn't get away, and bringing him close to his mouth. 

     The giant parted his rough and cracked lips, opening his great mouth to reveal great flat molars and sharp canines that were ready to tear Hiccup apart. Now, most humans don’t eat dragons, but a starving human will eat anything . 

       Hiccup had to think of a plan fast. “HALT!” yelled the little, green dragon at the top of his lungs in humanese, just before he could be tossed into the giant's cavernous mouth. 

     The giant's round pupils went wide, then his indifferent blue eyes narrowed,  focusing on Hiccup. 

     Hiccup recognized the powerful magic crackling around the giant's form. It wasn’t any giant, it was a WIZARD. He could not believe it. Wizards were an extremely rare and powerful type of humanoid. He only recognized the man as a wizard because he had met one once before, when a wizard threatened to kill all the dragons on his island and skin them for their hides. Hiccup caught a better look at the poor creature. He saw his maddened, electric blue eyes and long disheveled blond hair. His skin was caked in dirt, moss, and fungi. Not to mention the various bugs crawling over him. 

      The tall forest had grown around him so that he could barely move his arms more than a few meters away from his face.

     His neck was bound both in iron and rings of thick choking thorns, making his fragile, pale human skin red and inflamed. 

     Hiccup had never seen chains as Gigantic as the ones that bound this poor man. Each link was the width of a house room. I would have taken dozens of dragons to carry one. Each was made of solid black iron. Hiccup could smell it. It was the only thing keeping the wild magic of the wizard at bay. It would have been an almost miraculous task to link those chains together and drive the stakes deep enough so that the Man couldn’t get up and force his way out of them. 

     The wizard's wild blue eyes stared at Hiccup, and so profuse was the mad melancholy that Hiccup's first thought was pity rather than fear, even though the wizard was bearing his teeth like a rabid animal who was ready to strike at any second. 

     “Poor man,” thought Hiccup, his heart truly aching for the broken-down human in front of him. “Poor man.” 

     That pity he was feeling reminded him of the story he was told by Alvin's mother in that tree when she operated on Toothless.  How strange…they had a scare in the exact same place….

     The scar was half hidden behind ragged robes, but there, behind the wizard's dirty, torn-up clothes, was definitely the faintest beginning of a scar that hiccup suspected went all the way across his heart. 

      It was an ancient wound so healed that it was barely a whitish pink scratch, but still THERE nonetheless. 

     Hiccup thought of a man-no, a boy , sitting next to his dead dragon brother on a quiet beach. The fresh wound on his chest from Grimbeard's talons was bleeding that ruby blood of a human, but not yet killed. His heart broken all the same. 

      “FURIOUS!” Hiccup screamed as loud as his dragon lungs could carry.

     “YOU ARE THE WIZARD FURIOUS!” Now the man really paused. He sat unwinking, staring at Hiccup, like an ancient and terrible statue. 

     The human spoke, in a voice that was hoarse and dry from lack of use, and creaked and groaned like the chains that kept him trapped. “That WAS my name, once ,” growled the giant at last. Hiccup couldn’t help but feel a little proud that he had guessed correctly, but the battle was not over yet.

     “And what’s my name to you, little creature ? How DARE you use it? How do you even know it? And why do you speak Norse, the holy tongue of us humans ?” Hiccup could barely believe it. 

     “My name is Hiccup Horrendous Haddock this third,” said Hiccup, trying not to tremble at the terrible rasping sound of the man's voice. “Please don’t do this,” pleaded Hiccup, flicking his tail nervously. “In memory of your blood brother, Hiccup the second.”

     “You think that your name will save you, beast-with-a-name-I-once loved ?” growled Furious. “I loved my brother, and look what that love has done to me?” When I wasted time crying over his dead body, the dragons wrapped me in chains. THEY WOULD HAVE KILLED ME IF THEY COULD! But wizards aren't so easily ended, so they trapped me here in this terrible forest cage. I have been well punished for my weakness in trusting a human.” 

      Hiccup’s heart sank. He had been relying rather on the fact that the man might still have a soft spot for his blood-brother’s family. 

     But he said as confidently as he could. (for you have to be assertive with humans, or they do not respect you) “I have not come to talk about the past, mighty one, I have come to set you free.”

     “You? Set ME free?” drawled the wizard, a burst of gold flashing in his blue eyes. “Look on my chain, you minuscule lizard. I have been pulling and clawing and biting for a century. Even my magic is useless, for it is made of iron. How will YOU set me free?”

     “I have the key.” Hiccup said quickly. Using his tail to undo the little buckle on his satchel so he could take it out. He was surprised the berserkers let him keep it, then again they were a little looney. “Eat me and you lose the key forever…Strike a bargain with me, and you can be free at last. ”

     There was a long pause. What the human said next was VERY important, but Hiccup was yet to understand just how important it was. 

     “I feel it is only far to warn you, beast-with-a-name-i-once-loved, that the only way I can ever be truly free is if every last dragon is dead and sleeping under the soil. That is the ONLY reason I haven’t cast lightning storm or fire-ball sending us all to the gates of Valhalla in a spectacular explosion. The thought of REVENGE kept me alive. The thought that I will one day lead a conquest where humans will kill every vile and loathsome dragon once and for all! The last failed rebellion has taught me that humans and dragons CANNOT live together. You have been WARNED, beast. Release me at your peril. 

     “B-be very careful,” whined Toothless, who was hiding under Hiccup’s leathery wings, from the large, scary man. “Be v-v-very careful.”

       Hiccup was young and naturally optimistic and hopeful by nature, so he replied. “Then I will bind you with a promise. No creature can break a promise if they swear on their heart.”

     “What is your bargain?” asked Furious, his voice as cold as the arctic ocean.

       “M-make it good,” whispered Toothless, tugging Hiccup's tail gently to get his attention. “Tie h-h-him up good. That man l-look d-d-dangerous.” 

       “My bargain is,” said Hiccup, trying to sound calm and confident. “That I will set you free, and in return for your promise that you will help me release every dragon on this island. You will not harm me or any other dragon in the future. You will go to the great icy kingdoms of the north, where there live no dragons to remind you of this terrible time of captivity. You will live there free and happy. Do you promise? Here was a long silence that seemed to stretch painfully, filling only with the sounds of the forest and Hiccup’s own heart pounding. 

     “I promise,” repeated the man solemnly. 

     “Cross your heart and hope to die?” asked Hiccup quickly. The man smirked and made a crossing motion across the left of his chest. “Cross my heart and hope to die.” So Hiccup set about freeing the wizard, Furious.

     Every chain, every maniacal, took time to unlock, for Hiccup had to find the tiny keyhole in the massive padlocks around that wizard, and the padlocks themselves were so smeared and slippery with centuries of moss and fungus that they were even harder to locate.

     Hiccup's tail trembled as he gripped the key tightly. One wrong flick would doom him to death. He couldn't be useless now; his life depended on it. Every time he placed the key in. He prayed to the great dragons in the sky that it had not rusted so much that it would not work. But though it sometimes got stuck for a brief second, and creaked, they still all turned, squeaking like shrill rodents, resisting each move towards the powerful humans’s freedom. Those hysterics really were genius inventors, and Doome–the one who had forged the key– was an excellent craftsman.  

     It was particularly satisfying for Hiccup to unshackle the wizard’s arms. The sleeves of the robe were covered in layers of moss and bramble, but he could tell that it had once been a finely crafted piece of clothing, a luxury. It had once been dyed a beautiful and expensive royal blue, but was now a little worn from the exposure to constant sun and rain, and was now a duller gray-blue. 

       The wizard stretched his great arms over his head, making the forest tremble. Hiccup quickly scrambled almost feverishly onto his shoulder, slashing a path through the undergrowth with his sword, while Toothless held onto his neck tightly, pressing his delicate, warm body into Hiccup’s scales. Hiccup let out a small puff of smoke in joy and flapped his wings excitedly as the human stood up, for the first time in a century. His massive, stiff joints crack like terrible thunder. His ragged robes flew in the wind like enormous military banners. Tattered but still triumphant.