Work Text:
He’d been in the desert for a week. When he got home, he was met with quite the surprise.
Kaveh had never seen Alhaitham drunk before today, nor had he ever found him alone in the tavern drinking. His junior would never stay at the tavern if they weren’t having one of their bi-monthly gatherings. He also never expected to ever have to retrieve an inebriated Alhaitham from the bar. That was what Alhaitham did, for him.
So, he walked upstairs to the bar with no intention of drinking anything whatsoever. He was going to grab Alhaitham and go back home. It felt… strange, even though his visits to the tavern were becoming less and less frequent.
Alhaitham sat at the end of the bar table, his stupidly soft cheek resting on his stupidly slender hand. He fiddled with an empty wine glass in his other hand, staring dejectedly into it as if he were begging for it to refill itself.
As Kaveh stepped closer, he could see an endearing darkness tinting the cinnamon hue of Alhaitham’s complexion. On his nose, cheeks, all the way down his neck.
Kaveh sat down on the vacant stool adjacent to the scribe and angled his body towards him, his head resting on his fists.
“At first it was a pleasant surprise to see that you weren’t home… but you didn’t show up for three hours,” Kaveh teased lightheartedly. “I really didn’t expect to find you here.” He looked past the table as he waited to hear if Alhaitham would respond.
“Kaveh,” he started, his voice delicate as he continued to stare into his glass “do you see the glass as half empty or half full?”
Kaveh sat puzzled for a moment, lowering his arms and straightening his posture. He supposed asking philosophical questions didn’t seem like the most out-of-the-ordinary thing a drunk Alhaitham would do.
“I guess it depends on the situation.” Kaveh answered. “… Assuming that you’re talking about a metaphorical glass, since yours seems to be empty at the moment.” At that, Kaveh carefully took the glass from the scribe and set it aside. Alhaitham’s gaze did not follow it.
“If you’re looking for debates, now’s not the time. Why are you even here in the first place?” Kaveh searched Alhaitham’s flushed face for what he could be feeling. His eyes were unfocused, looking but not seeing. His lips were pulled into his usual frown. But he still looked… blanker than usual.
Alhaitham just shook his head in response to Kaveh’s query; a microscopic movement. They may have their differences, but Kaveh was the biggest empath around and Alhaitham also happened to somehow be his best friend. The architect felt a sudden emptiness at seeing the usual collected and rational scholar in this state, making the mistake of getting drunk all alone. It reminded him too much of himself, and he and Alhaitham were not the same.
Kaveh sighed and got off his chair, wrapping his arm around Alhaitham’s broad shoulders, tentative at first.
“Come on, let’s get you home.” The words fell off his tongue easily, as if he heard them many times before and were hidden in a secret compartment of his brain. Together he and the scribe walked back downstairs and out of the tavern.
━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━
Alhaitham was surprisingly compliant. He didn’t make a sound the entire walk home, or even when Kaveh helped get him in bed. Kaveh was there to catch him if he tripped on a pebble or his own feet.
He frequently recalled moments of being taken cared of by Alhaitham after trips to the bar, but the memories were so vague he often brushed them off as dreams. However, they still made his heart skip a beat every time without fail. Kaveh echoed the actions from his memories as he took care of Alhaitham in turn.
He gently pushed him to sit down on the bed and leaned over. Alhaitham looked at the floor as Kaveh very carefully removed his earpieces. Kaveh himself tried not to make a sound afterwards, aware that Alhaitham would have a great headache coming on. He needn’t make it worse.
He took off Alhaitham’s cloak and belts, leaving all of his things inside. Kaveh didn’t ask if Alhaitham wanted to get his day clothes off, feeling too sheepish.
Afterwards, he walked the younger to the bathroom and sat him on the toilet seat. He hooked a finger under his chin as he brushed his teeth and washed his face for him, wiping off the kohl around his eyes with a damp cloth. Kaveh was reminded of how cute his junior could be when he wasn’t being an absolute brat.
After setting a glass of water on his nightstand, Kaveh pulled the covers over Alhaitham, who could have passed as being asleep the entire time if his eyelids weren’t cracked ajar.
Kaveh kneeled down and brushed the fringe from Alhaitham’s face. He couldn’t stop himself, not when his junior looked so empty. He repeated the tender motions a few times, until Alhaitham actually leaned into it. Kaveh was stunned for a moment, but ran his hand down the scribe’s face and his thumb over his cheek. Alhaitham probably wouldn’t remember this anyway, so he might as well comfort him while he felt generous towards his roommate.
After a few quiet moments of staring into Alhaitham’s glassy eyes, and the scribe staring right back, Kaveh pulled his hand away and stood up.
“Come to me if you need anything. I’m here… if you ever want to talk.” He said quietly.
Alhaitham made no sign that he even processed what Kaveh said. Instead, he continued to stare at him with that blank expression. Kaveh tilted his head slightly to the side. His expression was not one of pity, but of concern. He wanted to get Alhaitham to open up, but he decided to let him sleep for now.
“Goodnight, Alhaitham.” He said as he walked out of the scribe’s room and into his own.
Once Kaveh was ready and had finished unpacking the rest of his things, he laid down in his bed and shut off his lamp. He curled in on himself—the position natural and comforting—as he faced the wall. He couldn’t figure out what was bothering Alhaitham, nor could he remember the last time he’d seen him so vulnerable. Was it his grandmother? Her birthday or the anniversary of her passing were not anytime soon, but Kaveh knew from personal experience that grief could affect someone at the most unexpected times. Or maybe Alhaitham was just burnt out from work? He was no longer the Acting Grand Sage, but Kaveh was aware that people would still come to him with their problems on occasion.
Kaveh was too lost in his thoughts and worries that he didn’t hear the man stumbling into his room. However, he did hear him stumble into his bed.
Kaveh tensed as the mattress dipped and he felt two strong arms gently wrap around his waist. He felt Alhaitham’s nose bury into the back of his neck, his warm breath fanning across his shoulder, the faint smell of liquor tickling his nose.
Alhaitham must have noticed how rigid Kaveh was, for he mumbled a quiet “‘M sorry,” and began to pull away. But Kaveh caught his wrists in his hands and turned around in the scribe’s arms to face him.
“Don’t be sorry, Haitham. I can hold you, if you’d like.” Kaveh gave the younger a reassuring look as Alhaitham gazed back with his brows knit together and his teal eyes wide.
Alhaitham immediately tucked his face back into Kaveh’s shoulder as he gripped onto the architect’s nightshirt. Who knew drunk Alhaitham could be so clingy? Kaveh wasn’t complaining.
“Did you drink some water?” He whispered close to Alhaitham’s ear. Alhaitham gave a small nod, to which Kaveh hummed softly in acknowledgment. His arms encircled Alhaitham like vines reclaiming stone.
Kaveh was actually quite worried about Alhaitham’s unusual behavior. He knew very well that Alhaitham did in fact have emotions, but he couldn’t figure out what the man was feeling. He wasn’t going to ask about that now, though. Not when Alhaitham was drunk and tired.
Alhaitham gave a small grunt and nuzzled further into Kaveh’s neck, before pulling back slightly to look at Kaveh with pleading eyes. The blonde hoped he didn’t notice how red his face had gotten.
“You will stay?” Alhaitham croaked, his voice broken and hoarse. Kaveh’s eyes widened, and he nodded repeatedly.
“Y-yes, of course. Now go to sleep, smelly.”
They both went back to their previous positions in each other’s arms, though Kaveh’s body was much hotter now. Alhaitham’s proximity was really making him act like a flustered schoolboy. Kind of ironic, since they were practically glued to each other before their fallout. Kaveh had never felt this fluttery back then. He wondered how Alhaitham felt, all those years ago… and now.
Then Alhaitham unexpectedly gave him somewhat of an answer.
A hand brushed over Kaveh’s chest in the minuscule space between them until it landed over his heart.
“Kaveh,” Alhaitham slurred silently, to which Kaveh’s heart erupted into a flurry of adoring lightning bugs. “Do you feel empty in here too, sometimes?”
Kaveh blinked. What did Alhaitham mean by that? What was going through his head? What was going on in his heart?
There were many reasons why a heart could feel empty. Kaveh wasn’t sure if he should be worried or relieved that the question was so ambiguous.
“W-well, yes. You could say that…” he stumbled over his words. Admitting his deep feelings was hard when he didn’t have alcohol to loosen up his tongue. But Alhaitham, on the other hand…
Kaveh was getting more worried by the second. He couldn’t ignore Alhaitham’s feelings now. He placed his own hand over the scribe’s heart, his fingernails grazing the fabric of his shirt.
“Alhaitham… what’s making you feel empty?” The concern was evident in his voice. He wasn’t sure anymore why he didn’t ask sooner. Seeing his roommate act this way should have been a big enough sign to alert him that something was really wrong.
What happened next nearly broke him. Alhaitham gently laid his hands over Kaveh’s with a small pout on his flushed face. Kaveh nearly burst into tears. Since when did kitten eyes have an effect on him?
“I dunno…” replied Alhaitham. “It feels… less empty now.” He continued as he curled back into Kaveh’s embrace.
Thump. Thump… thumpthumpthumpthump.
“Archons, I’m going to have a heart attack…”
Alhaitham looked up once again at the comment Kaveh didn’t realize he had said out loud. He had a sleepy, confused expression on, which did not help Kaveh’s racing pulse.
“Sorry. I’m not actually going to have a heart attack.” He assured after composing himself with a deep breath. “When did this feeling of emptiness start?”
Alhaitham’s eyes moved down, though they weren’t looking at particularly anything. Especially not Kaveh’s face. It was almost as if… he was embarrassed.
“…After you left for the desert.” Finally looking into Kaveh’s eyes, he continued. “I missed you, Kaveh.”
Kaveh was rarely rendered speechless. But he couldn’t think of a singular thing to say.
Before he knew it, Alhaitham buried himself in his embrace again and Kaveh was reciprocating. He could feel the scribe’s fingertips nearly digging into the small of his back, like he was hanging on for dear life.
Alhaitham missed him?
He could hardly believe it. He wouldn’t if Alhaitham wasn’t here holding onto him like he was afraid of losing him. Kaveh carefully thread his fingers into the silver hair, rubbing the back of Alhaitham’s scalp where he knew it soothed him, just like when they were students. Alhaitham seemed to calm down after that, practically melting into the architect.
“… I’m home now.” Kaveh whispered, once he found his voice again. Alhaitham grumbled something about “irrational feelings,” and a “thangyukaveh,” but Kaveh couldn’t make out the rest. He couldn’t even inquire further, as Alhaitham already drifted off.