Chapter Text
“In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.”
― Albert Camus
If we hadn’t chased the spotlight, would anything truly be different?
Perhaps, in the grand scheme of things, it wouldn’t. Regardless of how I lived, I would have ended up here, the same as I am now. I'd probably be living a very normal life, to be swallowed by the ordinary. But I feel like if I lived like this for too long, I'd just shrivel up and wither away.
That's why I created you.
The one I'm waiting to meet someday. To you, at least, I wouldn't be that ordinary… right? I don't know where you are. But I know you exist, like a glimmer of hope that never dies. And when I get to you, when I cross that bridge…
Who will you be?
There was a soft knock on the door to Minjeong’s room. She had intended to lie down and rest on her bed for only a little while, but it was already quiet outside. When did it get so quiet? Her head had been pounding for hours, every single thought crashing into the next, loud and persistent, yet not loud enough to silence her disturbed heart.
“Can I come in? I got your favorite food.” Aeri’s voice was gentle, but Minjeong could hear the worry laced beneath it.
She had also heard the news, running straight home from her solo schedule as soon as she could. Aeri knew there was only one person in the world who would be drowning with the weight of it, feeling it carve deep into her chest. She was the only one Minjeong confided in.
“I’m not hungry, unnie.”
“That’s impossible. Ning told me you’ve been stuck inside your room since morning.”
A beat of silence.
“Did you at least shower? I bet it stinks in there.”
A faint laugh escaped Minjeong before she could stop it. No matter how deep she let herself sink, Aeri would always find a way to pull her back. It was quite literally impossible to push her away whenever Minjeong got like this. Not when she was the only person she ever truly opened up to, and especially not when her inherently caring, older sister-like nature, had been a constant since the very first day they met.
She forced herself up, limbs weak, fingers numb as she fumbled with the lock. The door creaked open, Minjeong’s gaze lifted, locking onto Aeri’s. In an instant her world came crashing down, her lips quivered, eyes brimming with unshed tears and sheer exhaustion painting her face. Aeri didn’t hesitate to pull her into a hug with the warmth of a thousand suns, the kind that dismantles any barrier, holding her together as she threatened to fall apart again.
“You don’t have to say anything, just let it all out. I’m here.”
It’s almost cruel how effortlessly a few simple words can cut through the defenses she spent all day fortifying, undoing every layer of protection she had wrapped around her heart. Minjeong crumbled, a sob catching in her throat as her vision blurred with tears, breaking down for the millionth time that day.
“Unnie…”
“I know, baby. I know…” Aeri whispered, pulling her closer, gentle arms curling around Minjeong's delicate frame.
And Minjeong, who had spent the entire day trying to keep herself afloat, every breath a useless attempt to stay above the rising tide, let herself be held in the embrace of the one person who had become her anchor. Her mere presence piercing through like a lifeline thrown into the sea.
Somewhere else, Jimin stood frozen. Her heart faltering with every whispered word, the headlines painting her in a light she didn't recognize. She knew she’s not at fault, but the burden was overwhelming. The company’s hands were all over it, manipulating the truth, setting the stage, but it was Minjeong that she couldn't stop thinking about. Her heart aching for the one person she couldn't get to.
Every minute that passed, that impotent feeling grew, gnawing at her, knowing there was nothing she could do but wait.
“Joohyun unnie is hilarious when she’s drunk.”
“Right? Her reverse charm is something else.”
“I just hope her and Seulgi unnie got home safe.”
“Hmm.”
…
“Do you feel better?”
“Yeah. That was fun… I was needing it.”
"Me too... Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yes, I'm fine. It's just my first time drinking with you guys. I'm feeling a little bit tipsy."
"Yeah, you look a little drunk."
"Not drunk enough."
...
“Oh! Look at the sky, Minjeong-ah.”
“Woah. It’s a full moon.”
…
“Did you know it’s considered the most romantic phase of the moon?”
“No. Why?”
“Because it’s… perfectly whole. It's when it shines the brightest, lights up everything around it, makes everything feel a little more… magical.”
“Magical?”
“Yeah. So it’s kinda like love. When it’s whole, it’s everything, and even when you know it’s disappearing, you don’t wanna let go.”
“You seem to know a lot about it…”
”Not really. I mean, I’ve never really felt it. It almost makes me wonder if I deserve something like that…”
”You do.”
...
“But it’s also sad in a way, don’t you think?”
“What’s sad about it?”
...
“No matter how much you stare at it, the moon just stays there. Beautiful, distant, and you will never be able to touch it.”
“Right.”
The moon hangs low, its light spilling over everywhere, tracing silver lines across the night sky. You ever just sit and watch it? Let yourself get lost in the way it's just there existing, constantly? I do that a lot.
Some things are always changing, but the moon remains the same. A silent witness to how the world shifts, to everything we do, everything we don’t. I wonder, are people supposed to be like that too? Or are we meant to break, to pick apart every single piece, and rebuild into something new and shiny at all times?
People say time brings you clarity, but does it really? Or does it just make us better at pretending? Burying the pain behind practiced smiles, to keep how we truly feel from bursting at the seams. Maybe that’s why I keep looking up. The moon doesn’t do that, it doesn’t disguise itself. It just exists.
And that’s what scares me the most. No matter how hard I try to grasp, no matter how much I try to bridge the space in between, I guess some things will always remain just out of reach.
The moon reaches out to her, wrapping her in its gentle light and soothing her with grace.
I’m jealous of the moon.