Chapter Text
There was a garden around the entire block of nice houses. The garden was made of predominantly roses, but after she won her games, lilies were added in abundance. The smell in the spring when everything first started to bloom was overwhelming and made her sick to her stomach.
Sometimes she thought she could smell blood mixed in with all the sweet fragrances. Slightly tangy and metallic.
It was the height of summer now, and the sun had burned many of the lilies, causing their leaves to become brittle and dry, the petals to wilt. They weren’t native to this part of the country, and this happened every year. The Capital continued to have them planted anyway.
The games were just a week away, so Lily was headed to the market square to spend as much money as she could without upsetting anyone or drawing attention from the Peacekeepers. Right before a reaping was really the only time she could get away with it.
“Morning, Lily.” Severus met her at the gate like he did every Sunday before three, and Lily wished that he hadn’t. Not today. She didn’t have the energy for an argument, and it seemed as though every time they talked now, it ended in an argument.
“Morning,” She said quietly, offering him a smile that she hoped would encourage peace. “How is your mother?”
“It’s a bad day.” He said quietly. “I asked Doctor Pomfrey to have another look at her.”
Lily nodded. His mother had taken a fall in the orchards last autumn. She’d broken her leg and the bones hadn’t been set properly. She couldn’t work most days now, the pain was too much.
“I’m going to the market.” She said, shifting the basket that she was carrying in front of her. “Would your mother like anything?”
Severus shifted the helmet that he was carrying. “You know we don’t want any handouts.”
“I just want to cheer her up a bit, Sev.”
“Then just go and visit her. We don’t need any of your money.”
“You know that I can’t possibly keep all the money they give me to myself.”
“You earned it.”
Lily flinched. She saw his knuckles turn white out of the corner of her eye. He’d said it before and she’d yelled at him. It was like he was looking for a fight most days.
“I’ll see you later, Sev.” She sped up, and turned down the next street. She didn’t want to see him put his Peacekeeper helmet on.
It had been eight years since she had won her games, and some days it felt like no time had passed at all. Other times, the entire thing felt so monotonous that it could have been fifty years.
Before she’d won, she never would have thought the word monotonous could be used to describe a Victor's life. But it was.
Being selected for the games, going to the capitol, winning the games, coming home to a new house and more money than she knew what to do with, none of that was monotonous. That was a shot of adrenaline that never fully subsided until after the next year's games. She couldn’t really believe that it was over until she was watching someone else go through what she had gone through.
But now, it was the same thing every year. The reaping would start in July, and then she, and the other Victors from District 11, would go up to the capitol. Two of them would be selected as mentors, using the same strategy as they did for the tributes. Usually two people volunteered.
Lily had never had to be a mentor.
They were all put up in a nice hotel, they were paraded around, asked for their opinions on who would win. They would go to parties and be the entertainment for the capitol citizens who looked at them like they were animals in the zoo. They would go home, give more interviews, especially if the victor was from their District, but also if the tributes from your District made it far, or died in an extra exciting way.
The holidays would come around and they were all invited up to the president's mansion for a new years party.
In April, they held a ceremony for the fallen soldiers who had died in the rebellion that ended with the destruction of District 13 and the creation of the games. They all had to be in attendance for that, standing behind President Riddle as he spoke of progress and unity and other pretty words.
Then the games were upon them again and it started all over.
Lily cut through alleys, having turned far too soon to get away from Severus, but she eventually made it to the market. It was three o’clock on a Sunday, the only day that the processing plant closed early, so the market was at its busiest.
Lily started making her rounds. Buying fabric and old clothes, baked goods, strawberries, blueberries, trinkets, and whatever else she could find. She tossed coins into the hats of street performers, the Peacekeepers usually stopped people from singing, but they could play instruments if they had them.
When her basket was full, she started handing out the things that she’d bought. Everyone was hungry, but they knew not to approach her. The first year that she did this, the Peacekeepers had started arresting the children that had trailed behind her for soliciting.
Lily stayed until the market closed, going back and forth between buying goods and passing them out. There was one Peacekeeper who was watching her too closely, so she bought him a blueberry scone and a cup of lemonade, and that seemed to appease him. They were always more likely to look the other way the week before the reaping.
On her way home, she took a detour to Severus’s mother’s house.
She knocked on the door and Eileen pulled it open only a few inches, her face sullen and pale. “Lily?” She asked, trying to see behind her. “Severus isn’t here.”
“I know.” Lily gave her a smile. “I thought you might like a strawberry tart. They were selling them in the market today and I know how much you like strawberries.” She held out one tart and Eileen smiled, letting the door open a bit more as she held out her hand.
“You didn’t have to walk all the way out here to give me this.” She said, brushing her free hand on her skirt.
“I wanted to.” Lily shrugged. “Dad used to say that you could never have too much if you shared properly.”
Eileen took a bite and nodded her head. “He was a special kind of person.”
“I bought some bread and eggs too.” Lily said, reaching into her basket and pulling out a parcel. “Apparently little June watched her hen lay some of these eggs, which she thought was the craziest thing she’d ever seen.”
Eileen took the parcel, but her smile faltered just a little. “He’s not going to like that you did this.”
“I know.” Lily shrugged. “But you were always kind to me, and I need to return the favor.”
“You were a child who had lost your parents, Lily. You owe me nothing.”
Lily leaned forward and kissed Eileen’s cheek. “I think we’ll save this argument for another day, yes?”
Eileen chuckled and took another bite of her tart. “You always say that.”
They were quiet for a moment too long.
“The reaping is soon.” Eileen said. “We’ll miss you. Severus especially.”
“I’ve got another week,” Lily pressed her lips together. “Don’t start saying your goodbyes yet. Besides, I’ll only be gone for a couple of weeks.”
“I know.”
“Goodnight, Eileen.” Lily took a step back and Eileen closed the door with her hips, since Lily had filled her hands.
She spun on her heel and bit down on her tongue.
She knew that this was by design. The game had a winner so that the people could have hope, but the Victors were forever tied to the games, they could never move on from what they had done, what they had seen, what they had had to endure. She was always going to be a Victor, she was always going to be a pawn for the Capitol to move around as they needed. She could never have her own life, it belonged to the Capitol.
She stopped at the end of the road and looked toward her sister's house. She wanted to go there, tuck herself into her sister's couch and watch her nephew play with blocks until it was time for him to go to bed. But Vernon didn’t like it when she hung around, she made him nervous. Perhaps because she was a reminder that his son was going to grow up and his name would have to go into the reaping. Perhaps it was because he had watched her in the games and saw what she’d had to do to survive.
Petunia had loved her so fiercely when she’d come home. Their dad had been long gone and their mum had passed the year before. It was just the two of them, and after Lily came back from the Capitol, Petunia had been determined to be there for Lily. She had moved into Victor’s Village with Lily, she had made her breakfast and dinner, she’d sent her to school, given her chores and made sure that she kept her head down. She’d given her structure and limits at a time when Lily felt like everything was spiraling out of control.
But Lily had never returned to how she was before the games, and she talked to the other Victors, she knew that they were all suffering the same way that she did. The older they got, the younger the kids they were stuck in the arena with had seemed, the younger the kids who got reaped every year seemed.
Petunia had met Vernon, a boy from the nice part of town who had ambitions to be the mayor, when Lily was seventeen. He’d been so excited to use Lily to his advantage when he’d first met her, but had since realized that it wouldn’t work in his favor.
People in the town did not like Lily. They did not like any of the Victors. They were never rude, they never showed obvious disdain, but the Victors made them uncomfortable. The Victors were only a few steps removed from the Capitol after all.
Lily decided not to bother her sister and turned toward her house. There weren’t many Victors from District 11, but there were more than most Districts had, apart from 1 and 2 anyway.
There was Gideon Prewett who had won his games the year before Lily. It was the only time in the history of the games that two Victors had come from District 11 in as many years. They had gone to school with one another, had been friendly at one point, but now they could hardly make eye contact unless they were on the train or in the Capitol.
Then there was Frank Longbottom. He won the 55th games at age 15. He was kind and always had a smile for Lily. She enjoyed talking to him.
Alice Fortescue won the 59th games at age 17. She didn’t talk to anyone anymore. Lily had only ever heard her speak very quietly, and in very short sentences. People talked about how the games had made her go crazy. Lily wanted to shout at whoever said that, scream in their face that they were all going crazy because of the games.
Everyone else was quite a bit older than Lily. No one had won since Lily. There was Arden Weasley who had won the 38th games. Wilhelmina Plank, known as Mina, won the 23rd games. Rodrick Bodarn had won the 9th games, but he had long since passed away.
And that was all of them. In seventy-three years, only seven people from District 11 had won. They had more victors than Districts 10 and 12 combined. District 12 only had one living victor, and District 10 had four. This was a fact that was brought up by people who bet on tributes every year.
Lily saw Alice sitting on the porch of her own home. She waved to her, but Alice seemed to look right through her. Frank walked out of Alice’s front door carrying two plates.
“Evening, Lily. Good day in the market?”
“I found all kinds of treasures.” Lily agreed.
“If you ever find anything with a bumble bee on it, they’re Ally’s favorites.” Alice’s head snapped in Frank's direction and she smiled. Lily tilted her head to the side, trying to remember if she’d ever seen Alice smile.
“I’ll make sure to look next time,” Lily lifted her basket. “I’ve got blueberry tarts. Would you like some?”
“Blueberry tarts?” Frank asked, looking at Alice. “What do you think?”
Alice nodded and looked back at Lily. “Yes, please.” She said quietly. Lily perked up at hearing Alice’s sweet voice. She started up the pathway to Alice’s porch.
“There must have been a lot of blueberries to harvest this week because all the bakers had an abundance of scones. I got enough for everyone.”
“That was mighty kind of you,” Frank was still looking at Alice. Did they always have dinner together? Did the overpowering smell of the capitol flowers not bother them?
“We all do what we can,” Lily said quietly, uncovering her basket and taking one scone at a time, setting them on Frank and Alice’s plates.
“Thank you,” Alice smiled up at her.
“You’re welcome.” Lily covered her basket. “Have a good dinner.”
“Thank you, Lily.” Frank nodded.
Lily walked around the Village and delivered the scones to everyone, ending with Mina because she knew that Mina would invite her in for dinner and she didn’t want to spend the rest of the evening walking around her big empty house alone.
oOo
It had been four years since James had won the Hunger Games.
Hearing his name come over the loudspeakers on reaping day had been the single greatest shock of his life. He had been seventeen, it was his last year in the reaping, and his name had only been entered seven times.
The odds were quite literally in his favor.
He had hardly even been paying attention to the reaping. Instead, he was in his head, as he usually was, configuring scripts, perfecting lines of code, anything to distract himself from what was going on. He was more confused than anything to hear his name blare out of the silver speakers that he and a group of kids from his class had been in charge of assembling for the broadcast. It had been an extra credit assignment.
There were only three days until the reaping for the 74th games, and James was more nervous now than he had ever been when his name could have been drawn.
He would have to be a mentor this year.
There was an official system, but he was only one of four, and so they had worked out a system so that no one had to be a mentor for two years in a row. Bertram and Gilderoy had been the mentors last year, so this year, he and Emmeline would volunteer.
There had been more victors from District three, but Bathilda Bagshot had died two years ago, as she was old and had suffered long standing injuries from the games. And Pandora had died the year James had won, in an electrical fire. She had been experimenting with some new form of technology, but something about the incident had never sat right with the people from District 3. Pandora had been one of the most brilliant minds they had, she chose to be a teacher after she won the games, and then she exploded. It just didn’t seem likely.
He had taken to hanging around the Victor’s Village this week, since he didn’t want to wander through town and wonder which of the children was going to be picked for the games this year.
There was a small garden in the center of the village, the four Victor’s houses making a square around the garden. Emmeline sat across from Gilderoy at a chess table that they were resetting.
“I almost had you!” Gilderoy said as James approached. “You chose the one move that made it impossible for me to win, and I knew there was a risk when I chose to move my knight there.”
“Emmeline is just too bloody good at this game.” James pulled up a third chair and sat in between them.
“Yes, well,” Gilderoy slouched slightly. “I suppose there’s that as well.”
Emmeline smiled at James. “What are you up to, lad?” She always spoke to him like she wasn’t only a handful of years older than him. If James wasn’t consciously remembering that Emmeline was only twenty-nine, then he forgot and assumed she was much older. She didn’t look much older, though there were a few strands of grey in her hair every summer before they went back to the Capitol and her stylists covered them up.
“We leave in a few days.”
“We do,” Gilderoy said. “It’ll be nice to see everyone again.”
James ran a hand through his hair as Emmeline agreed with Gilderoy. He knew that all the Victors hung out and made friends with one another, but he couldn’t imagine being friendly with some of them. Kyle Wilkes had won last year, and he had ripped multiple tribute’s throats out with a metal glove. Evan Rosier had won the year before that and he hadn’t been too brutal, but he was always so sullen and silent at the parties that even the press left him alone.
He had made one friend in the last three years. Sirius Black, the winner of the 63rd games, had sat down next to him the first year he was in the Capitol as a Victor and started talking his ear off. James was grateful for his friendship, and he was glad that he would get to see him soon.
Two years ago, Sirius had stolen a Peacekeepers uniform and sneaked onto the train to come and visit James in District 3. They were found out almost immediately, but Sirius had been so charming and good natured about it, that they’d let him wait for the next train at James’ house and there hadn’t been a punishment.
“I do miss, Sirius.” James agreed, because he didn’t want them to think that he was judging who they chose to hang out with. James certainly never used to think that he’d willingly hang out with Gilderoy Lockhart. Back when he was younger, Gilderoy had been a real heartthrob in the Capitol. He did ads for toothpaste and hair dye. They still wrote articles about how dreamy his smile was, but Sirius had taken the spot as the Capitol darling more recently.
“Only Sirius?” Emmeline asked, raising her brow. James rolled his eyes.
There was a girl named Lily, from District 11, who James had stared at for too long one too many times in Emmeline’s presence and now she thought she needed to tease him about her all the time.
“Maybe this year you can actually talk to her.” Gilderoy suggested, causing James to shake his head.
“What would be the point?” James asked, deciding to skip the part where he denied everything. “We’re from different Districts. We would only be allowed to see each other while we were in the Capitol.”
“No one said you had to fall in love with her.” Emmeline shrugged.
“Yes, I think I suggested talking.” Gilderoy smirked at him.
James blushed and did his best to hide it, ducking his head and pushing his glasses up his nose. “Okay well maybe I’ve thought a bit about this already.” He relented.
“Maybe,” Emmeline reached over and pinched his cheek. “Regardless, this time of the year will be more bearable if you make more friends.”
“Friends that aren’t always so busy.” Gilderoy nodded. James had thought Gilderoy was jealous of Sirius when it became apparent that Sirius was taking his spotlight. But James had seen him delight in his gray hairs, laugh at his wrinkles, and share knowing looks with Emmeline when Sirius had made jokes about the attention. James had always gotten the impression that Gilderoy was a showboat, but he had never considered what kind of attention he had been receiving and that perhaps, he hadn’t wanted it. None of them had asked for this.
“Right. Well, Bertram is my friend.”
Emmeline snorted and James kicked her lightly under the chess table. All three of them looked in the direction of Bertram’s house. The blinds were drawn as usual.
“Bertram has not tried to be friends with any of us in the nine years he’s lived here.” Emmeline leaned back in her chair.
“I don’t want to talk to her.” James leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest.
“Well there’s no need to pout.” Gilderoy was still smirking. “We’re not going to make you talk to her.”
James fought the urge to roll his eyes. “I’m going over to my parents for dinner.”
“Tell them we say hello,” Emmeline moved a chess piece and Gilderoy claimed that he should have gone first. James wanted to invite them, but he knew they would decline. His parents always fussed less when they were around though. He hesitated for a moment, but when neither of them offered to accompany him, he turned and started for the fence line.
oOo
It was reaping day tomorrow, and that meant that the cameras were coming back into District 4.
Sirius was sitting in his bedroom, surrounded by his prep team. Flora was putting a deep conditioning mask in his hair, Clint was buffing his fingernails, and Lynx was plucking his eyebrows. His stylist, Otto Bagman, was perched on the end of his bed like a little bird, flipping through his sketch book, showing Sirius different pages of new outfits he’d made for him since he’d been in the Capital last April for the yearly memorial service.
Sirius liked them all well enough, so he did his best not to act sullen in front of them, but the arrival of the games this year seemed to take him by surprise. He wasn’t ready for it.
Not that anyone outside of the first two Districts were ever ready for the games, but he normally had time to build up his mask, to find his footing. He just barely got out of being a mentor this year, and the panic that had gripped him when he thought it might be his job to keep two kids alive for as long as he could, hadn’t truly let him go until this year’s mentors had been chosen.
Augustus Rookwood, the winner of the 56th games, and Agnes Steward, the winner of the 41st hunger games, had both been chosen to be the mentors.
They always had a little raffle for the slots in Districts that had more than two Victors of each gender. Though it wasn’t a requirement for a man and a woman to both be a mentor, there just had to be two, and in some Districts they all looked out for one another and took turns.
They didn’t do that here in four. It was luck of the draw.
The reason that Sirius had thought he was going to be a mentor this year, was because he had pissed off the wrong Peacekeeper, and they had told him that he was going to make sure that Sirius’s name was the only one in the men’s bowl this year.
Luckily, he had been full of shit.
As was the case with most Peacekeeper threats, but you never could tell which ones were the ones you should worry about. So Sirius worried about all of them.
Sirius took a swig of the wine that Otto had brought him from the Capital , knocking Lynx’s hands out of his face momentarily. She gave him a patient smile until he set the bottle back down and then went back to plucking away at stray hairs around his brow.
“What do you think the arena is going to look like this year?” Flora asked, her fingernails digging into Sirius’s scalp painfully. “I heard that they’ve created an entirely new mutation for the games this year!”
Sirius took a deep breath through his nose and tried to picture himself in the Capital . He tried to picture James beside him, rolling his eyes at the absolute horror that was the Capital citizens.
It wasn’t really their fault though, Sirius had decided this before he’d even gone into his games. The citizens of the Capital were vapid and dumb because that’s what they had to be to live in the Capital . If anyone thought too critically of the government, they would simply disappear one day. And no one would ever mention them again. He was sure that there were a lot of people in the Capital who didn’t like the games, who watched them only because it was required, who may even morn the deaths of the District children, but whoever those people were, stayed silent so they could keep their lives.
And Sirius couldn’t fault them for it, because he also stayed silent so he could keep his life.
He picked up the wine bottle again and Lynx laughed as she pulled her hands away from his face again. “You’re acting like your nervous, Sirius.”
“I’m not nervous.” Sirius shook his head. “I just don’t like the day before the Reaping. I can feel everyone holding their breath.”
They all pretended to know what he meant and started going on about how excited they were for the games to start too, and Sirius let them. They were twittering birds, and he was too. They all stayed in their golden cages and pretended to be happy.
Otto caught Sirius’s eye in the mirror and raised his brow. “I promise you’ll have more downtime than work this year. You’re still a big star, so you are going to have a few photo shoots of course, and you’ll be invited to all the parties, but if you’re not feeling up to it, you can relax. Watch the games from Victory Square.”
Sirius nodded. “Yeah. Maybe I do need to take it easy this year.” But he wouldn’t be watching the games from Victory Square. He usually tried to avoid Victory Square as much as he could, since that lessened the chances of him running into one of the Career Victors.
There were only about fifty or so surviving victors and most of them seemed to be from 1 and 2. They all volunteered for the games when they turned eighteen, and then won. Sirius hated it when someone who volunteered won the games. No one should get rewarded for going in because they wanted to.
No, he wanted nothing to do with the Carrow siblings, or Rod Lestrange. He’d stay with James. And James had called him this morning to let him know that he was a mentor this year.
Sirius took another swig from the bottle.
James wasn’t gonna handle it well.
Of course, there was the chance that one of his kids could end up winning, James was from 3 after all, and there were very few Districts with more Victors than District 3. Though that wasn’t saying much. All the outlying Districts except 11 and 12 only had two or three living victors. 12 only had one, and 11 seemed to be the exception with six. Being able to climb a tree had really proved to be a useful survival skill for the kids from 11.
James had only won four years ago though. Sirius had won his games around ten years ago and he had only mentored once. Though he was thirteen when he won, the youngest victor ever. They hadn’t put his name in the drawing to be a mentor until he’d turned eighteen.
After his hair was rinsed and his face and nails were flawless, he took the bottle of wine and headed across the street to his cousin’s house.
Ted Tonks had won the 47th games, and he married Sirius’ cousin Andy almost as soon as he’d gotten back from his tour. They’d had a baby a few years later, which they’d both been terrified about.
He smiled for real when he saw Andy and Tonks sitting on the porch, shucking oysters. Tonks, who was unfortunately named Nymphadora, was finally nineteen, and thus, safe from the games. No one had to worry about hearing her name being called anymore. Andy and Ted both walked lighter, their shoulders a little less tense.
“Who are you giving all those to?” He asked, tapping the bottom of his bottle against the ceramic bowl that they were tossing the oysters in.
“Everyone.” Tonks gave him a small grin. She was feeling guilty this year. Same as all the kids who were finally safe and only ever had a few slips in the drawings. The guilt was dumb. Sirius had felt guilty for years after he’d won, during the Reapings, knowing that his name wouldn’t be called. It didn’t matter to his consciousness that he wasn’t going to be called because he’d already been reaped. “We’re all going down to the beach tonight.”
“Did you bring that to share?” Andy said, looking at his wine bottle.
Sirius looked at the bottle and then up at his cousin. “I’m not a drunk.” He said.
“No, of course not.” She held out her hand and he complied. She took a drink and then handed it to Tonks. She raised her brow at her mom, but took a drink as well.
“Look who’s all grown up.” Sirius leaned against the front porch with his hip and patted Tonks’ leg.
“I guess.” Tonks winked, handing him the bottle back.
“How are you holding up, Sirius?” Andy asked.
Without hesitating, he replied, “I’m right as a rainstorm. Don’t worry about me.”
“Ted said the same thing.”
“About the rainstorm?” Sirius tilted his head.
“No.” Andy pressed her lips together. “You two need to talk.”
Sirius took a deep breath and shrugged. They weren’t allowed to talk, but Ted and Sirius exchanged as many knowing looks as they thought was safe.
“You got a dozen dates lined up for you already?” Tonks teased and Sirius flinched. She didn’t know any better though, and Sirius didn’t want her to.
“I’m sure someone set them up for me.” The bottle was already back on his lips.
Tonks frowned and looked at her mother. Andy was looking at Sirius, still shucking oysters. “Are you gonna see James?”
“Of course.” He nodded.
“What about Benjy?”
“We’ll see. It’s only him, Lydia, and Amos, so I’m sure they’ll be busy.” Benjy was a mentor every other year. Lydia Abbot, as the only female Victor from 6 was a mentor every year, at least Benjy and Amos got to trade off and on. Sirius didn’t want to be seen with him too often anyway. He didn’t want anyone to think that Benjy was more important to him than anyone else. It was different with James. The Capital had paired them together a few times, the Capital loved their friendship. James was from District 3, it was fine for them to be friends. Benjy was from 6, not as bad as one of the outlying Districts, but Sirius didn’t want to draw attention to him. Attention was dangerous.
“I’m glad you don’t have to be mentor.” Tonks said, looking over her shoulder, back toward the door. “Da hates it.”
“Course he does.” Sirius muttered. But then he forced himself to smile at her and tapped her leg again. “Maybe I’ll see you two at the beach, yeah?”
Andy smiled at him and nodded. “We’d like that.”
“Yeah. You’re my favorite cousin.” Tonks grinned.
Sirius put a hand over his chest and raised his brow. “Really? I’m telling the rest of them.”
“Go ahead.” She shrugged. “I’m sure they already know.”
Augustus Rookwood slammed his front door, catching Sirius’s attention. He looked like he’d been drinking today too. He was a mentor this year. Gus and Agnes. Sirius had never liked Gus before he became a victor. He didn’t like him any better now, but he felt like he understood him.
Sirius held out his wine bottle as Gus stormed down the road. He paused and looked at the three of them, his brow softening just a little bit. He took a few steps toward the side of the path, until he could reach the bottle, and then he brought it to his lips, tilted the bottom of the bottle toward the sky and drained a good amount. Sirius didn’t say anything.
It didn’t matter if they got along or not. No one wanted to be responsible for the tributes. No one here wanted any more blood on their hands.
But that was the point, wasn’t it?