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IT WAS A QUIET AFTERNOON…
The last rays of shimmering sunlight reflected on the young master’s red flaming hair. He sat comfortably on a velvet armchair and turned the pages of the book he had in his hands with a nonchalant and indolent gesture. When the lines of texts written in black ink started to waltz from lack of blinking, he decided it was the sign for him to bring the story to its conclusion. However, the voice of his loyal knight stationed behind him resounded across the room and grabbed his attention:
“Cale-nim, did you ever wonder why we work so relentlessly to pursue the idea of happiness?”
The young man with ebony hair paused a bit before continuing.
“For what purpose? Is it really worth it?”
“Hm?”
Cale raised an eyebrow, a tad bewildered by the sudden philosophical question.
“What’s with this nonsense?” He asked stoically, even though the fact that he had closed his book and his gaze was on Choi Han showed his worry.
The usual joyful and innocent knight had his head down and hid the shadow of a melancholic smile.
“Ah, nothing. Apologies for the odd question.” He said, ready to brush it off.
The redhead furrowed his brows. What was wrong with him? Why was this punk acting so strangely? No way he was going to let him leave without having the last word of the story. He couldn’t blame him for it. After all, he was the one who had initiated the conversation!
“Hey Choi Han.”
The calling of his name stopped the timid man on his tracks. He lifted his head and saw his liege looking at him with a peculiar light in his eyes.
“Don’t you have anything to say to me?”
Choi Han swallowed with difficulty his saliva. Words? Putting words on his inner turmoil right now? Impossible.
“I … Really it’s alright. It’s just some days are harder to get by than others.” He confided while shaking his head.
Cale stood up and sat on the edge of his bed. He observed an instant the person in front of him before patting the empty spot at his left. The man with ebony hair obediently came over. He sketched a smile before sitting down as well. The young master was always so caring in his own way. The duo stayed quiet, finding comfort in each other’s sole presence. To be honest, Choi Han didn’t want for the beautiful redhead to carry the burden of his nightmares. In the end, it was something quite personal. Not remembering his parent’s faces, not being able to protect those who reached out to him first in this unknown world and finally … the fear to lose his new found family. All of this… All of this, he will keep it for himself, it was not necessary that he meets the demons haunting his dreams.
“Can I … hold your hand?”
A timid and unusual request.
“You can.”
Nevertheless the young master accepted naturally. He took his knight's hand delicately and intertwined their fingers together. He noted the subtle differences between their hands. Without surprise, the man’s hand was rough and decorated all over with old blisters, medals of his hard daily work to reach the level of sword master. Contrary to him, his hand was soft and pale devoid of any scars thanks to the Vitality of the Heart. Although everything opposed them, he found that their hands fit together like two puzzle pieces that had met their rightful place.
“Do you feel better?”
Choi Han nodded weakly his head and tightened his grip on the redhead’s hand.
“Thank you Rok Soo-ah.”
For once, he allowed himself to drop the respectful speech. It was true that he made a point of maintaining their liege and simple knight relationship, but sometimes in his weakest moments, he liked to go back to the time when he was once only an innocent high schooler living in Korea. In a fictional reality, Kim Rok Soo could have been his classmate who knows. They could have gone to the arcades together, eat an ice cream on their way back home and enjoy a simple student’s life. In this world of his imagination, there wasn’t any White Star to fight nor Sealed God to vanquish in order to live peacefully. They would have way more innocuous problems like having only one sock left from the original pair after a trip to the washing machine or even studying until 1 AM for a last-minute exam.
“You know that you can tell me if something is troubling you right Han-ah?”
The young master with flaming red hair pronounced his name and touched his cheek tenderly. The latter lost himself in the warmth of his friend.
“Your presence is enough Cale-nim.”
Cale let out a small chuckle and shook his head fondly. Was he trying to be a poet with such answers? Although he was worried, he couldn’t force him to confide if he wasn’t ready. He began to swing their intertwined hands and rested his head on the shoulder of the raven-haired man.
“You shouldn’t keep everything inside. I would be sad if I couldn’t even know one problem of ô sir Choi Han, who wears the famous title of <Silver Shield’s loyal knight>. And you wouldn’t want that to happen right?”
Pearly red eyes met onyx eyes and the latter’s ears blossomed into a cherry tree. This candid reaction made Cale smile. For the general public they were liege and simple knight but in his heart they were first of all friends, native from Korea. However, there was a small sparkle in their friendship that he could not quite define yet. Nonetheless they had all the time in the world to unravel this riddle.
“The most important thing is that you rest. Do you want me to stay here?”
“Of course you can stay Cale-nim. It’s your bedroom after all.” He replied chuckling softly.
Ah right, it was his room. Oh well, it didn’t bother him in the slightest if Choi Han ever decides to sleep here. He would simply exchange their rooms. It would be way too cruel to send him downstairs when the man resembled a sad abandoned puppy.
“I give you the permission to lie down on my bed and to catch up a few hours of sleep. You look like shit.”
The young man with ebony hair sketched a smile and lied down obediently. He looked at the roof of the canopy bed before closing his eyes. Ah... It kinda soothed his heavy heart these moments of tranquility. Just a little bit. He felt a hand passing gently through his hair and having fun untangling the few knots that were there.
“Cale-nim, I’m not a good person.” He ended up whispering like a secret.
The hand stopped abruptly in his playfulness.
“Mh? What do you mean?”
Cale knew damn well that it wasn’t true and that Choi Han would be the last person on earth to define as a “bad person”. But he was curious to learn the reasoning behind such a claim.
“I’ve noticed that in reality I am someone often jealous of other people’s happiness.”
The man with onyx eyes took a deep breath and continued with a heavy heart.
“I shouldn’t be like this. To have such thoughts towards their happiness is…”
“It’s what?”
His sentence was cut short by the young master with vermilion hair. He stared at him with a raised eyebrow.
“There’s nothing wrong with being jealous.”
A declaration spoken in a stoic manner as always but for Choi Han… Hearing these words made him feel like that oxygen was entering his lungs again: he could finally breathe properly. It was odd that no matter what the man in front of him could say, when it came from the young master's mouth… He wished to believe it somehow.
“In life, some people will undoubtedly achieve what they consider <happiness> more easily than others. After all we are not born under the same stars.”
The man shrugged nonchalantly.
“There’s no shame in coveting their happiness and wanting to experience a similar joy without having to exert yourself.”
The corners of his liege’s lips rose with mischief.
“We are only humans after all.”
Humans… Yes even though his lifespan was stretched, Choi Han stayed a simple human that nature had bestowed with emotions. Ironically, their imperfection was somehow beautiful.
“Did you forget that my dream was being a slacker?”
“Pfft—hahaha!”
To the remark of the redhead, Choi Han went speechless before losing himself in a fit of laughter.
“Hey, don’t make fun of me. You know that’s the truth.”
Although he furrowed his brows in a sulky manner, Cale was reassured to hear the laughter of his friend. The man’s shoulders seemed more relaxed as he tried to wipe away the tears threatening to escape from his eyes.
“Cale-nim, don’t forget that you still have to work out and stretch every so often. Of course take care of your little plantation of vegetables too.” Choi Han added, amused.
He looked at the young master with vermilion hair scoffing softly before collapsing on the bed. He stretched his arms like a sleepy cat and turned his gaze towards him.
...
Oh.
He hadn't noticed how close their faces were to each other before. The gentle breathing of his neighbor tickled his nose.
“What I meant was that you could be selfish as much as you want silly punk.”
It was ridiculous how affectionate the scolding of his liege sounded. It made dandelions waltz inside his stomach.
“By looking stubbornly at the garden on the other side we often forget what is in front of us.”
The young man with pearly red pupils closed his eyes. He delicately took Choi Han’s hand and put it on his chest. The latter noticed that the melody of his beating heart was familiar, but the pace was a little bit faster than normal, similar to the end of a long afternoon harvesting apples in their orchard.
“Choi Han, this.” He muttered with a tiny smile.
Badump Badump Badump
The symphony of young master Cale’s heart mixed to the echoes of children’s laughter coming from the courtyard, to the delicious smell of dinner being prepared in the kitchen downstairs and to the subtle lemon tea sourness dancing inside his mouth that he had drunk a few moments ago.
Badump Badump Badump
“This is my definition of happiness.”
Deep eyes similar to a sunset met eyes reflecting abyssal stars.
“I am happy.”
A thin lock of flaming red hair fell on the side to cup his pale face. Choi Han thought that it made the portrait of the man in front of him even more ethereal.
“And you? Are you happy now?”
The raven-haired knight bit his trembling lower lip.
“I… I don’t know.”
Maybe.
He wanted to give a positive answer.
He wanted to tell Cale that, of course, he was happy but something inside him prevented him from doing so.
Did he even have the right to be happy?
What if the moment he loses himself in this so-called beautiful and soothing “happiness”, everything suddenly turns out to be an illusion?
Choi Han was afraid that if he ever accepted that candid “happiness”, it would suddenly break apart.
He was scared that since a good part of his life was surrounded by despair, now this “entity” will chase after him relentlessly like a horrific monster every time he would taste a spark of “happiness”.
Like Harris Village…
He…
“Take your time, you still have many beautiful decades ahead of you to think about it, dear old man.”
Cale flicked his forehead and magically the thoughts that had haunted him earlier flew away like a mirage.
“Pfft- You’re right Cale-nim.” He whispered fondly.
His home.
He already knew where it was.
He just had to learn how to cherish this fleeting happiness so close to him without being afraid.
A tranquil vermilion flame would always be here watching over him until he reaches his destination.
It may take one day,
One month,
Years,
But you will be there won’t you?
Thank you … for being by my side.
Cale.
No…
Kim Rok Soo.