Archive of Our Own

“Let’s take a walk down by the beach, 

It’s warm on the sand, we’ll save space for Jesus,

I’ll pick you flowers while you count the hours,

‘Til you can go home and watch drama TV

I’ll say it now, there’s no turning back

Time after time, my odds are stacked.”

She Wants Me (To Be Loved) - The Happy Fits

1 DAY BEFORE

It’s a late night, the sky the color of a bruise and mottled with darker clouds, only a smattering of starlight dotting the sky. It’s not cold, though — a damp warmth in the air that leaves all the nightly wanderers sticky, a faint breeze kicking up sand that embeds into skin.

It’s here, along the shore, that Jinx brings Ekko for their last night together after a summer of learning what it means to be intertwined, to love —

It’s the day before they go to college, their last one together before they have to part ways. There’s something mournful in the air — because really, they both know it.

They know this is the last time things will be like this. 

Now, it’s time to learn to lose.

“Ekko,” Jinx whispers, resting her hand over his cheek as her nose brushes against his.

“One last time?”

68 DAYS BEFORE

Jinx tugs Ekko by the hand with a loud cheer as they escape the jaws of their school one last time, draped in robes of violet and green, the colors that made up their school. “Come on, hurry up — I wanna get pictures with Vi! She was bugging me about it all morning, brought her fancy ass camera and everything.”

As if she wasn’t just as excited for it — if anything, Ekko thinks she was more excited than Vi at the idea of these pictures.

Ekko laughed while she tugged him, bumbling along behind her with his hand intertwined with hers like a lifeline. His eyes couldn’t leave her face — the freckles that climbed from the bridge of her nose, down her shoulders, even dotting her hands. He knew each and every one. “Didn’t Vi bring Caitlyn?” 

She scoffs, “When doesn’t she these days? Whatever— I still wanna get pictures!”

Ekko can’t help the smirk that forms across his face, letting her tug him over to where Vi was waving at them frantically, holding her way too bulky camera. 

“Powder! Ekko!” Vi yells, catching more than a few passer-bys' eyes. She’s loud — but God, the pride on her face makes the eyes worth it. Next to her, an uncomfortable Caitlyn stands - suit draped over her body. 

3… 2… 1… and —

“Hat lady! Or should I say suit lady?” Jinx bursts out, eyeing up the suit. Admittedly, it was out of place, with Vi dressed in her nicer pair of jeans and a plaid shirt, sleeves rolled up to her elbows. And if Jinx could find something to nitpick about Caitlyn, she would be running to do just that.

Caitlyn frowned at her, but gave a curt nod anyways. “Hello, Jinx,” she said stiffly, her slim hand wrapping around Vi’s wrist. “It’s lovely to see you.”

Jinx rolled her eyes, dramatically. “No, it isn’t. You don’t have to lie.” Her gaze lands on Caitlyn, something cool and almost calculating before she shrugged, turning on her heels just a few degrees to seek out Vi. “Well — anyways, Vi! Pictures!”

Clearly, if anyone forgot, it wasn’t Vi. She was still holding that camera, practically brimming with excitement. “Yeah, I know,” she laughed. “My baby sister is graduating. Gonna go off and do great things — you know I wouldn’t forget to document that.”

Jinx’s face gets that pretty peachy-pink flush that crawls up from her neck, that deep purple of her graduation robes making it ever more prominent against her pale skin. She’s embarrassed, and finds her scapegoat in him, tugging him forward by the hand. “Don’t forget about Ekko! He’s the one who got into Stanford. Going all the way to California.”

Ekko feels his own flush darkening his cheeks, leaving him hot with the implicit praise. 

Vi didn’t help matters, the real, genuine adoration in her voice almost palpable. “How could I forget? Little man’s all grown up. God, I still remember when you two were just babies.”

Jinx rolls her eyes, nudging Ekko in the ribs — hard enough that he sputters a laugh. “You hear that, hotshot? She thinks she’s that much older than us.”

Ekko glances between the two, feeling much like Caitlyn must — on the fringe between the two. It made sense — the two sisters had been separated for some time, and now it was about making up that lost time — even three years after being reunited.

Vi grins, shaking her head fondly. “You want your pictures or not, Pow?” 

Jinx slung her arm around Ekko’s shoulder suddenly, tugging him in close to her side. He could smell the lavender shampoo she used that morning, the cologne she stole from him — but most of all, he could see the smile she had on her face.

It was real — and he would do anything to keep it that way. 

So, Ekko ignored the tightness of his chest, the warmth that spread from where her hand laid against his collarbone, and smiled at the camera just as the flash went off. 

65 DAYS BEFORE 

Ekko spent the weekend after graduation recovering from the busy weekend — when it wasn’t him being pulled around for the post-graduation festivities with Jinx, it was going to see Zeri and Scar for their graduations, and when it wasn’t that, it was his parents taking him out for dinner. 

His phone buzzes incessantly underneath his pillow, the droning call of birds outside helping in rousing him from his slumber. For a moment, he had a thought of oh shit, am I late for school— before realizing he had a little over two months of freedom. 

So why the hell was his phone blowing up?

With bleary eyes, Ekko fished for his phone and turned it on, rolling onto his back with a sigh. When he saw the name, he sat up against the headboard of his bed, a slow smile tugging at his lips.

Jinx (Pow) 💥🩵

9:35 AM

hey

ekko

e

k

k

o

little man

hotshot

genius

idiot

wake upppp

Ekko scrolled through a series of messages that said generally the same thing — ranging from his various nicknames to just plain “wake up” texts — before he texted back.

EKKO 

10:08 AM

i’m awake tf

it’s too early 4 this what’s up

we ain’t got school so why???

Her response was almost immediate.

Jinx (Pow) 💥🩵

OMG GET UP

i’m outside

AND HAVE BEEN BTW

we r going to the beach

and vi is taking us there

btw she’s here and WAITINGGGG

Ekko blinked, checking the charge on his phone — luckily, it was at full charge after being left on the charger at night. 

Every day, he’s thankful his pillow doesn’t combust into flames from charging his phone under it.

He pulls himself out of bed, lazily makes it somewhat passable in case his parents come to check it — and packs a quick bag. Sunscreen, because Jinx would always forget hers — and then cry about being burnt — and a couple of towels — because Vi always forgot hers and would complain about sand in the car — and finally, his sandals to change into. He changes into something more… beachy and twists his locs with some rubber bands, just in case the swim cap comes loose. He finds his swim cap, throws it in the bag too, and a water bottle.

God, it was so much work packing for the beach when all your friends had no clue on how to pack — or warn — ahead of time. 

He doesn’t see his parents in the living room, so he scrawls a quick note for them and leaves it on the table so someone will see it — and heads out the door, locking it behind him.

The beat up, red car that Vi had was old. The radio required tapes, so instead Vi bought herself a bluetooth speaker to make up for the loss, and the car jumped at every bump in the road. The bumper was held on with tape (and love, Vi would say) and had to be reinforced bi-weekly. It was practically home, though.

Inside, he could see Vi, tapping away impatiently at the steering wheel, Caitlyn beside her in the passenger seat. In the back, Jinx was sprawled out, poking Caitlyn’s elbow with her foot repeatedly. He could see the way her knee jolted when Vi swatted at her, probably telling her to knock it off, and he prepared for a long car ride.

The beach was only twenty minutes away by car, but it would feel like a lifetime with this particular collection of people.

When he looks at Jinx, though — he thinks he wouldn’t particularly mind that.

Opening the car door lets forth that hot air trapped inside, the seats having baked in the early summer heat. Jinx sits up with a loud cheer, trying to tug Ekko into the car even though she can’t even reach. “About time! You’re so damn slow, you know that?”

Caitlyn greets him with a polite nod, but she’s still trying to figure out where she stands with him and Jinx. To try to ease some of her tensions, he gives a nod and smile, before swatting at Jinx. “Because I have to pack not only for myself, but for you, too. And I actually have to prepare, unlike you.”

Vi laughs, turning and reaching behind her to hold a fist out for Ekko — one he returns, immediately. “Hey, little man. Buckle up and we can head out.”

Ekko hums, doing just that — in time for Jinx to turn in her seat and throw her legs over his. “Caitlyn’s never been to the beach,” she throws out casually, her hand leaning against the back of Vi’s seat.

“Well — no, I’ve been to a beach, just—“ Caitlyn tries to defend herself, cheeks glowing a faint red.

Jinx shakes her head, speaking over her to finish the sentence, “Not a real beach. You’ve gone to all the rocky beaches — like the ones northeast. Fucking Brit,” she scoffs. “It’s like the first time I’ve felt real pity for her, y’know.”

Caitlyn frowns, “They’re still real beaches — and at least for those, there’s less sand to worry about.”

Despite the fact Jinx hates the sand, complains about it every time, the contrarian in her has her bursting with a laugh, “The sand is what makes a beach. Let’s be so real with ourselves right now.”

Caitlyn rolls her eyes, wisely choosing to disengage. “Whatever you say, Powder.”

When he feels Jinx shift, ready to say something maybe too cutting for the good mood Vi was trying to foster, he rests his hands on her calf, thumb brushing across the pale expanse of skin. “You’re gonna complain about the sand anyways, Jinx.” He tilts his head at her, redirecting her attention to him. In the corner of his eyes, he sees Vi relax her grip on the steering wheel.

The whole car shifts as she banks a hard turn, Jinx sliding across the backseat with her improper buckling job. It doesn’t stop her from replying to Ekko, nudging a knee into his stomach. “Will not. I love the sand.” She blatantly lies, shark-grin spreading over her face.

“Uh-huh,” he drawls, “tell me that one hour in. Speaking of — did you pack sunscreen this time?” He doesn’t think she would if it was just her and Vi, but it was a fifty-fifty shot of if she would listen to Caitlyn and pack it or not. 

Jinx shakes her head — because why did he think she would ever listen to Caitlyn — and he sighs. “Well, I did. So, you can use that one.”

Vi glances back at them through the rearview mirror. “Jinx, I thought we told you to pack it?” 

Ekko snorts, “Did you tell her or did Caitlyn?”

“Fair,” Vi sighs. “You’re gonna get a tumor one day, Jinx. UV is no joke.”

Jinx hums, noncommittal, and pokes Ekko with her knees again. “Don’t worry, sis. Ekko’s got me.”

When they get to the beach, Vi is tugging Caitlyn by the hand, taking their basket of supplies with them while Ekko gets his bag. “We’re gonna find a place to sit while you two do whatever you need to,” Vi calls behind her. “We’ll be on the right a bit, alright? Come find us when you’re ready!”

It’s a silent bid for five minutes of space — judging by how tense Caitlyn was, Jinx had been bothering her even before the car ride. 

“You know Caitlyn’s here to stay, right?” Ekko decides to ask, resting a hand on Jinx’s back. Underneath his palm, he can feel the way her muscles shift as she leans into it, cool skin already warming from the skinship and the sun.

“I really don’t wanna talk about it, Ekko,” Jinx mutters, turning to look at him. She steps forward, the contact broken for only a second before she grabs him by the hand. “Come on, I wanna get in the water.”

He snorts, tugging her right back into him just as she tried to step off. She leans into his space, so close he can map every individual freckle that’ll only get more and more prominent in the summer. He shivers, but doesn’t let go.

She doesn’t step back, either.

“You need sunscreen first,” he murmurs, trailing his hand over her arm. Somehow, sand already sticks to it, gritty against skin. “If you burn, it’ll be me hearing about it for the next two weeks.”

She rolls her eyes, but allows him to lead her to where Caitlyn and Vi wandered off. She must know they also wanted a brief moment to themself, because she stops and picks up seashells often, showing them to Ekko like they were made of gold. She passes him every single one.

He keeps every single one.

“This one’s got no chips in it,” she hums, crouched in the sand as she looks for more. Ekko’s starting to get the sense she’s also avoiding the sunscreen, and tugs her along with more intent. 

“Next time we need to bring a bag if you’re gonna try to collect them.” He notes, catching sight of Caitlyn and Vi already in the water. Ekko cant help but to catch sight of Vi’s smile and Caitlyn’s ruddy cheeks — and he finds himself glad.

It’s been so long since Vi could smile like that. 

When Jinx sprawls over the blanket, he digs for the sunscreen bottle and tosses it onto her, hearing her squawk when it lands with a heavy thump onto her spine. He smirks, and searches for his water bottle and swim cap. He soaks his locs with the bottle, letting it sit for a moment before making sure he gets the cap on snug. 

When he looks back to Jinx, she’s smearing sunscreen where she can reach. “Ekko, get my back?” She hums, tossing him the bottle before he even says yes. 

He sits behind her, and takes a second to admire. He can’t help it — he’s known for years that his best friend was beautiful. Even when they had spent four years at each others throats, brought back when Vi had returned, he’d always known.

Her back is long, the dip in the middle inviting and enticing alike. He imagines running his hand over it, feeling the way the divots and ridges of her spine would feel against his palm. Ekko pushes her hair, long and braided, a faded blue-ish green with deep black roots at the top, to the side. 

Sunscreen in hand, he rubs it in small circles into her skin, dipping underneath the straps of the top she wore. Jinx shivered underneath his touch, the coolness of the sunscreen having her lean away briefly with a hiss. 

“Cold?” He glances over her shoulder to where her half-lidded gaze met his, dark eyelashes casting shadows over the curve of her cheek. She has that too familiar pout on her lips. 

“Yeah, prolly ‘cuz it hasn’t been sitting in the sun or anything,” she murmurs, but bares her back and the nape of her neck to him again without complaint. 

“I’ll see what I can do,” he hums, getting a quiet snicker from her. He tries to warm the sunscreen up with his hands before he smooths them over her shoulders, the back of her neck. 

It doesn’t stop the shiver that he feels underneath his palm, but he isn’t dumb enough to not know this one was for an entirely different reason. She’s always liked touch — especially his, always leans into it, initiates her own. 

Jinx wasn’t subtle about her feelings — but neither was he. 

He would wait for her to be ready to talk about it, though. 

When Ekko finishes applying the sunscreen, Jinx is more than eager to tug him by the hand, scrambling to get up. He tosses the bottle onto the towels laid on the sand, following her to the water.

“C’mon,” she grins, “I wanna see if I can dunk Caitlyn and show her the real Jinx welcome.”

Ekko isn’t sure that’s the best idea, but the wide smile she has beats the doubts out of his head. “Yeah, sure — but you’re alone on that one. I don’t have sister privilege to keep Vi from eviscerating me.”

Jinx’s smile goes more wry, something like a smirk more than anything soft like it had been. “Don’t worry. I’ve got a plan.”

Minutes later, he watches as Jinx goes underwater, obvious under the clear water but ignored in favor of Caitlyn and Vi flirting with each other. She grabs Caitlyn’s ankles and tugs, causing her to tumble into Vi — who’s steps were unsteady with the shifting sand. 

Both of them promptly fall underwater — coming up with a sputter. Jinx is laughing — big and loud and enough to catch bystanders’ attention. It makes it all worth it, including the glob of sand that’s sent straight at him for laughing with her. 

A few hours later, when the sky is starting to dim as afternoon approaches, the four start to pack up their stuff to leave. Despite his best efforts, saltwater still snuck through the cap and he knew this would be a constant struggle this summer. 

Jinx, also despite her best efforts (or rather, his best efforts for her,) was that sun-kissed shade of pink that indicated she missed a re-application, shoulders shiny with damage. 

It doesn’t look bad at all, at least — though it would be a shitty first few days. Ekko, just to be a bit of an asshole, pokes the raw skin, causing Jinx to whip around with a curse. 

“Asshole — what’d you do that for?” She whines, shoving him back. Her hair is still waterlogged, braids darker with the heft of water. 

“Gotta remind you about the purpose of sunscreen. Now, you’re gonna be all crispy.” Ekko murmurs, “Luckily it doesn’t look too bad.”

“Vi’s worse off,” Jinx tips her chin to where Vi was mottled with red skin — but unlike Jinx, Vi tanned better where she wasn’t burnt. She would come out of it quickly, and a peel later, be golden-skinned where Jinx would go straight back to only a shade past ghostly.

“For right now, but give it a couple days and I think you’ll be the one worse off.” He smirks, patting her shoulder where the skin looked only a bit burnt. 

She whines again, and just shoves him toward the car. True to what he knew, she complained about the sand with Vi the entire way back. Caitlyn and him just watched the two of them, wide eyed and smitten.

Two fools, hoping to have more time than they do.

60 DAYS BEFORE

Ekko has a complicated relationship with the college he chose — it’s far from Florida, from the home he knows. He’s certain to return, he knows that much — too many roots here, his family here. But it doesn’t ease the stinging pain of leaving in the first place.

Jinx chose to stay near home, for reasons she didn’t disclose to neither him nor Vi, but he’s sure he could take a few guesses and not be entirely far off from the truth.

She just got Vi back a few years ago. In return, she lost a third father. And even that situation wasn’t so simple, with much of it up in the air, decisions made that only the court would know.

He knew she had hoped he would stay too — late one night, drunk off stolen alcohol from Vi’s liquor cabinet, she had sent him a series of texts. Naturally, he had gone to her and Vi’s house, panic lancing through his chest as he found her laying on her bed, breathing slowly with her tears. 

“I’m going to lose you,” she whispered. “You won’t come back. It’s going to be like before.”

“Never,” he said, crawling onto the bed beside her, taking the bottle out from her hands and easing it onto the bedside desk. “You won’t lose me. Not again.”

It was a bad night. Jinx didn’t text him for a week after that, citing being grounded for touching Vi’s liquor. It’s dumb, she had said, and it’s just because she’s an alcoholic who doesn’t want her stash stolen.

He forgets sometimes that the two sisters still had plenty of issues to work through — and he’s sure that’s another reason Jinx decided to stay home for college. He knows she’ll do amazing things anyways.

This summer, he wanted to make the most of it. To make sure that when he’s out in California, he would have plenty of memories to hang onto. 

Ekko rolls onto his stomach, fishing once again for his phone from under a pillow. He turns it on, looking through his text messages. He has a few from Scar and Zeri, asking if he would want to go out to the boardwalk. He says yes, considering he’s not seen the two of them since graduation. 

He can’t help but to sigh.

What’s left after this summer?

When he gets to the boardwalk, Scar and Zeri are already there, poking fun at each other by one of the faire-style games. It looks like they’re trying to play darts, with Zeri absolutely smoking Scar judging by the smugness on her expression. 

When they see him, they wave him over frantically. “Ekko!” He hears Zeri cheer, and from it he feels a pang of guilt that he hadn’t been hanging out with either of them much. It’s only been a little more than a week since graduation, but still. For trying to make memories, he’s really not been doing much.

He wanders over to the two of them, bumping into Scar with his shoulder. He gets a nudge right back, and gestures to the game. “Zeri still beating your ass, Scar?” 

Scar scoffs, while Zeri just looks plenty proud, wide grin on her face. “When don’t I?” She answers for him, clapping Ekko on the back. “I heard you went to the beach, few days ago. Didn’t even invite us.” 

He rolls his eyes, shoves her shoulder lightly when she goes to aim the next dart. “It was more a family thing,” he argues. “Plus —“

“You wanted to hang with your girlfriend,” Zeri teases, tossing a glance behind her. “Don’t worry, Ekko. We get it — you’re about to go all the way to Cali.”

Ekko blinks owlishly, before sputtering, “She’s not my girlfriend.”

“But you knew exactly who we meant,” Scar grins, nudging him with his elbow. 

Rolling his eyes, Ekko goes back to watching Zeri as she lines up her last shot — out of ten, she’d gotten five. “She’s my best friend. That’s it.”

“Ouch,” Zeri snickers, the dart landing straight in the balloon. “I thought that was us! Oh — dude, come on, take a turn too. I’ll even pay.” 

Scar stares flatly at Zeri and him. “You mean I’ll pay,” he grumbles, already fishing out a dollar and handing it to the poor stand worker. Ekko thinks he went to school with them, graduated last year. 

Ekko takes the pack of darts while the stand worker resets the game, pinning the balloons to the wall. “I almost don’t want to leave,” he admits after a pause. “I don’t know what to do when I’m gone. Everything I’ve done has been…”

“Here,” Scar finishes for him. “You’ve done enough here, though. You should see what you can do there. Ekko — when will you take the time to worry about yourself?” 

Ekko frowns, taking a dart out of the pack. He rolls it between his finger, while Zeri points out a balloon he should aim for. 

He raises the dart eye level and throws it —

The balloon pops.

When he gets home, it’s to land in his bed with a crash and finally check his phone after a long day out, scrolling through the pictures that Scar and Zeri posted on Instagram from today. 

When he gets bored of that, he scrolls through everything. Everyone is posting about their vacations and their ‘worldly adventures,’ but when he sees himself, he instinctively scrolls back up.

It was a picture on Vi’s instagram, with him and Jinx and Caitlyn in the water. Ekko had taken it upon himself to get revenge for Vi’s dignity, and gotten Jinx dunked under the water not once, not twice, but thrice. Jinx had gotten this annoyed look on her face, nose scrunching up when she yelled at him — but all he could do was smile like an idiot, because she just looked so pretty.

Under the photo was a caption.

vi_king

My family. 💕

4 days ago.

He liked it, and took a screenshot of it — sending it to Jinx with a goodnight, and turned his phone off to go to bed.

55 DAYS BEFORE

Ekko woke up to his phone ringing incessantly and he already knew who it had to be.

Fumbling under his pillow for his phone (and deciding he really should stop putting it there) he answers it with a groan, switching it to speakerphone.

Jinx’s voice rattles through the speakers, loud and excited. “Ekko! Vi’s throwing a bonfire, you’ve gotta come. Except, you gotta bring something ‘cuz it’s like a potluck, too. Invite anyone you want, but you gotta come.”

Ekko stares at the wall, still trying to wake up. “Mmh? Whuh?”

Jinx groans, and even through the phone he can tell she’s thrown herself onto her bed. “Potluck. Bonfire. Vi hosting. Tomorrow. You’re on dessert duty, so make it good.” 

“Yeah, sure. Alright. Did you wanna come help?” He asks — having made a judgment based on the way she had called and not just texted. The silence on the line felt like embarrassment, and he couldn’t bite back the smirk.

He could hear shuffling on the other end of the phone — a quiet huff. “Yeah, sure — can I?” There was another brief silence on her end, and he had a feeling there was more to it. “I miss you,” she finally whispered. 

They had hung out a few days ago — would hang out again tomorrow. But he knows what she really means —

She’s going to miss him. 

He hums, before finally nodding even though she can’t see that from over the phone call. “Yeah, of course you can come over. You’re always welcome, you know?”

Ekko hears her breathing over the other line go softer. “I know,” she murmurs, but he knows she needs the reminder sometimes. He doesn’t have to ask if there’s a reason she wants to come over so bad, why she sounds quieter than usual, because she says it without being prompted. “Caitlyn’s over again today. Just like she was yesterday and the day before and the day before that, ” Jinx grumbled. “I’m just tired of seeing her and not Vi.”

This was another complexity onto Vi and Jinx’s somewhat strained relationship. Vi and Caitlyn had been together for a year — getting more and more serious as time went on. 

Caitlyn and Jinx did not get along — with Jinx seeing the former cop as the antithesis to everything she believed in, and Caitlyn feeling that Jinx maybe got away with too much. 

Ekko didn’t care for Caitlyn much either, but Vi did — and he’s seen the way Caitlyn has loved Vi so thoroughly. He can’t hate that.

“Well, you know if you ever need an escape, just text and I’ll let you know if I’m home or not. Even if I’m not, you know where we keep the key. Mom and Dad love having you over.” Ekko sits up in bed, laying back against the wall. 

Jinx stayed quiet on the other line, long enough that he got worried. He didn’t want to wake up to another call, to see her holding a bottle of liquor at 2AM again.

“Jinx?” He prompted, voice soft. 

“Uh — yes, sorry, yeah — I know. I know. I’ll be over later, okay?” She hung up.

Jinx is a hurricane in his house — particularly the kitchen. Vi has tried to give her cooking lessons over the past three years and not a single thing has stuck — if anything, it’s like Jinx has taken all of the do’s and internalized them as don'ts.  

They decided to make an easy dessert — a pie. Ekko figured that would be a good introduction to baking for her while still being ‘complex’ enough to stand alone at the bonfire. 

He can’t even be mad about the flour coating the kitchen counter, her face, or the butter streaking over the stove. The clean up would be horrible — 

But she was beaming, working the dough clumsily into a shape that could fill the pan, and chattering on about nothing — he couldn’t hear if he tried, because he was just too focused on her face, her delight —

All he can think is how much he’s going to miss these moments.

54 DAYS BEFORE

He gets to the bonfire when the sky is dusky and starting to get dark, just before they light the logs. “Shit — Vi, wait for me!” He calls, looking for a place to put the pie down, finding the set up fold-out tables. 

“Hurry up, then! Everyone’s waiting on you!” Vi calls, holding the lighter impatiently. Caitlyn has her head resting on Vi’s shoulder, the buzzing of voices loud.

He had invited Scar and Zeri, and he knows Jinx invited Seraphine — having whispered to him a plan to get Zeri and her to hook up. He couldn’t deny the pair was odd, but he felt like it could work. None of the three have arrived yet — and he figures Scar and Zeri are pregaming.

So instead, he looks for Jinx — and when his eyes catch on the blue in the corner, already watching him, he beckons her over. Ekko grins as she pushes off from the side of the house, sliding a hand over her waist. “Hey,” he whispers.

“Hi,” she hums, tugging him to the center where Vi and Caitlyn were waiting. 

Vi glances between the both of them, grinning. “Took you long enough, little man.”

Caitlyn offers the both of them a wave, and there’s something nervous about it, her hand messing with something in the pocket of her jacket. 

“Yeah, yeah, I had to make sure everything was all ready and stuff. C’mon — let’s light it.” 

Jinx shivers beside him, glares at the back of Caitlyn’s head before her expression softens when looking at Vi. “Hurry up, Vi. I’m cold.” 

Vi grins — and everyone watches as she touches the lighter to the logs and dead, dry leaves of summer.

The fire erupts and blooms when the cheers start, a cacophony of noises. Embers spark into the sky as the sun disappears, casting a warm light on everyone around. When Vi turns around, she’s beaming and she’s happy.

His eyes go to Jinx, who is stuck looking at her sister like she was the sole reason for her breaths. Ekko looks at the softness of her skin, cast in warm light that makes her look so alive. He remembers how cold she had looked those years without Vi. 

When Vi pulls the two of them into a hug, he can smell the motor oil and gasoline that stuck to her skin from work, the calloused hands rubbing the back of their necks affectionately. He sees movement in the corner of his eye, just behind Vi — and his eyes widen.

When Vi releases him, cupping he and Jinx’s face with a hand, he knows Jinx has seen what he did because she gasps — sharp and acrid. He grabs her hand, tightly — a warning. 

She wouldn’t interrupt on purpose, but the slightest venom on her face would almost certainly influence Vi’s choice. 

“Vi?” Caitlyn asks, voice hesitant and scared. 

Vi turns around, and Caitlyn is on a bent knee, velvet box held in her hand — a ring presented. Its small and shiny and delicate, everything Vi would never admit to being, but everything Caitlyn has seen her for. 

Ekko knows this, and squeezes Jinx’s hand to tell her please, please, smile for them. Give them a chance to be happy, too. 

And because he knows Jinx loves her sister more than the stars and moon could ever encompass, he knows she will. When Vi looks back at her sister, Jinx quirks the corners up her lips up — though it doesn’t reach her eyes, it doesn’t need to. The attempt is enough.

“Will you marry me, Violet?” Caitlyn whispers, eyes only on her.

“Yes,” Vi weeps, pulling Caitlyn up into a hug —

Around them, cheers soar, but the firelight illuminates Jinx’s tears. 

He knows what she was thinking — that she was losing another.

He squeezes her hand tighter, and hopes she can hear you won’t lose her, you won’t lose me, it will all be okay.

50 DAYS BEFORE

Ekko is being dragged to the beach again — but this time, it’s him and Jinx alone. 

Time is starting to weigh heavier on them. Every night is long FaceTimes and calls that go until the early mornings, whispers about promises to visit that he knows will go unfulfilled. 

Jinx talks about her future school journeys with false bravado and delight, avoids any conversation about Caitlyn and Vi’s new engagement, and pretends like everything is okay. 

He doesn’t think everything is okay in the slightest — knows that when her routine is broken, that’s when she’s most susceptible to her worst episodes. He prepares for that — orders her favorite flavor of tea (and mourns the fact his money is going to Bezos of all people) and when she calls, he comes running.

For her, he would do anything.

Today, she called and told him she needed to get out of the house — that it was becoming harder and harder to hide that she doesn’t want Caitlyn to marry into the family (or worse, for Vi to marry out of theirs) and she just needed to escape.

It was already late — the sky filtered in dark purples and violets like fallen petals. The stars begin to come alive, streaking across the sky in bands, the moonlight filtering in and kissing the white sand with its beams. The sand takes the color of the sky, reflecting the light and the scarceness of it all the same. It’s quiet like this — the remnants of the day long forgotten, making room for the night.

Jinx looks softer in this light, draped in a black sweater that went past her thighs but exposed the hollowness of her collarbones. Her hair was sun bleached from the summer, blue fully faded into green that would have to be redone soon — and he almost thought to offer to do it himself.

She’ll call when she’s ready for another change, he decides. Right now, she’s clinging to what is familiar — and right now, it was the faded green-blue that clung to her long strands.

Until then, deft hands sink through sand — searching, curious — for seashells. I like the sharp ones, Jinx whispers, they look like survivors. 

You don’t have to be sharp to survive, he always says, pressing a sand dollar into her palms. You can be smooth to be remembered, too.

She collects the sharp ones anyway, as if there’s no value to be found in being soft enough to be remembered — that you must claw your way from the sand with jagged edges to stay alive in memory. He sneaks in the flat, round shells that look like split open clams, hopes she will understand one day.

“You excited for California?” Jinx asks, and her voice has an edge to it that he knows she means leaving me? No matter how much he tells her he isn’t leaving her, she never believes it like the promise it is.

“Yeah, I guess.” Ekko comes in closer, breathes in that lavender shampoo when he holds her hand. “We’ll have to figure out the timezone difference, though.”

“Mm. I guess,” she says — noncommittal. Her gaze is elsewhere, unfocused while her head is turned in the direction of the lighthouse. He can’t help but to worry it’s another episode — it’s been a while since her last one, where they needed to up her medication until she stabilized again.

Ekko didn’t want that to be the case again — not when he was about to leave, not when everything was falling apart around her just as she got comfortable again.

He tugs her gently to the shoreline, sits them both down. “What’s really going on, Powder?”

Jinx wrings her hands together and refuses to look at him, instead curling into his side. I love you, he thinks, and the way she curls her fingers into his shirt makes him think she’s saying I love you too.

“I’m scared,” she finally says. “It feels like — everything is slipping away from me, and I’m stuck. I’m stuck. Vi and fucking Caitlyn are getting married, you’re going to California, even Seraphine is going to New York.”

She breathes in, shaking and loud, and her voice is more ragged than Ekko thinks she meant it to be, “I feel like I’m going to be left behind.”

Ekko frowns, pulls her in closer to press his lips to her hair, ignoring the grit of the sand. “Nobody is leaving you behind. If anything, Jinx — you’re going to be the one who everyone is watching.”

Jinx gives a wet laugh, blinking away tears he can hear clogging her throat, “You’re just saying that.”

“No, seriously — you remember a few weeks before graduation, how you impressed everyone with the experiment you did? Even the teachers.”

He runs circles into her spine, rests his cheek on her head. “And then it blew up,” she mutters tartly, gaze falling to where the waves met the sky. 

Ekko shrugged, murmuring against her hair, “So what?”

Jinx said nothing more to that, just trailed her hand over to his. They link fingers loosely, and now he’s certain of the silent I love you too.

For a few minutes, they listen to the crash of the waves, sand kicked up with the wind. The tide is low, this late at night — jellyfish dotting the shore until they are swept back up by the tide’s return. An endless cycle of being returned to the sea, only to be given back to the earth.

“How about you?” Jinx finally asks, a softness back in her voice that had been growing rarer and rarer over the summer. “How are you doing? You can’t tell me you aren’t stressed.”

He hummed, thinking back to the pang of anxiety he felt when he thought about leaving — about what if I disappoint them all and what if I don’t know what to do when I get there — and he thought of how to word it. Jinx pulls back to look at him, eyes big and blue and gleaming from the moonlight.

The words spill like there was never a question in telling her. “I’m scared, honestly. It’s… a long way from home, it’s expensive, even with scholarships. I just… don’t want to fail. I don’t want to fail everyone counting on me.”

Jinx rests her hand on his cheek, thumb ghosting under his eyes with all the fondness he knows she has for him. “It’s scary, isn’t it?” She frowns. “You’re not going to fail though. I don’t think I’ve seen you fail at anything you actually tried to do.”

The words themselves aren’t what help — it’s the surety that she says them with. There’s no other option for him in her mind — he just will succeed. 

Then she leans forward and presses a kiss to the corner of his mouth — sudden and soft, just a ghost of a touch. 

Ekko stares dumbly at her, and he can see the red creeping up from her neck all the way to her face, and she kisses him again.

He holds her face, and he kisses her back.

30 DAYS BEFORE

They haven’t talked about it since — in the last twenty days, things have gone on as normal. He visits her house and bothers Vi when Jinx texts him a SOS SOS HAT LADY and Jinx comes over to his when even that isn’t enough.

But they haven’t talked about it.

He isn’t sure they’re going to. 

And that’s fine — no, really, it is. He tells himself he isn’t bothered by it and that Jinx probably just meant to kiss him on the cheek, that it was a friendly thing, that in the end — 

It meant nothing.

He battles and battles and battles with the notion — and frankly, he’s losing the I don’t give a fuck war, and he’s losing it badly. 

He tries not to think of the softness of her lips, how they melded with his perfectly, how her eyelashes were long enough to brush his cheek, how her slim and cold hand felt against the heat of his neck. 

No, he doesn’t think about it at all.

He refuses to think about how he knows it meant something to her, how she was running away again from them, how it’ll always be too late, that they don’t have time, God, why do they never have time? 

He really, really doesn’t think about it.

Instead, Ekko lets her lead him by the hand to the school, sky dark and stretching overhead. It doesn’t smell like a storm is coming, but the clouds are heavy and full, black against black, and casting Jinx in a shadow.

The past week, she’s been erratic, that deep dark of her pupil telling him that the break in her routines were finally getting to be too much. Vi’s noticed, judging by Jinx’s complaints of an increased dosage to her medicine, but even that isn’t enough. 

Today, her endless energy — that panicked, raw need to move and move and move, to seek danger and thrill — led them to breaking into their old high school (was it really ‘old’ if they had graduated just about a month ago?) to fuck shit up, as Jinx had called it.

Jinx claimed to know where all the cameras were — inside and outside, that if they stay on the football field there would be nothing to worry about. It didn’t stop Ekko from worrying, though. 

“Come on, hotshot,” Jinx called, tossing him a backpack with that shark-grin back on her face that made him feel almost like prey. She started to climb up the chain link fence, hair pulled back as to not get it caught on the metal. “One last stupid memory before you’re gone.”

With a thud, she landed — and that sealed the deal. He groaned and adjusted the backpack he had been forcibly handed, shifting it over his back. He clambered up the fence, still unsure about this whole thing, and dropped down beside her. 

“What did you even wanna do here? It’s a football field,” he complains. He would’ve preferred them going almost anywhere else — could think of maybe going to the beach, the boardwalk, or even the bridge.

“Mmm,” Jinx hummed, “open the backpack and you’ll see.”

She sounded excited, a brightness in her voice that betrayed her faux nonchalance. He figured out why once he opened the backpack, shifting it so she could see inside. He was thoroughly unimpressed. “Vandalism?” 

“Yeeeeup!” Jinx chirped, smile widening on her face as he dumped the cans of spray paint from the bag — blue and pink and green, their colors. “I mean, I figured we could leave our mark, or whatever — make sure they never forget us. What better way to do that than defacing the…” She gestured vaguely, before snapping her fingers. “Oh so glorious football field.” 

It wasn’t a surprise that this is what she decided to be their new magnum opus. “So, making the field our canvas?”

Tossing her a blue can of spray paint, she caught it with a click of her nails. She shook it, just like he did with the green can of paint, and started to paint. 

He already knew what she was drawing — and in turn, he did his own tag — the familiar hourglass. It was simpler than hers, so he made sure to take his time and make sure the edges were straight. 

The smell of paint in the air was strong, but still —

He swears he can smell lavender.

They finish their art pieces together, and when he steps back, he can see her familiar monkey, highlighting blue with the signature pink she always used. 

Jinx rests her elbow on his shoulder and sighs wistfully, hip leaning against his. “Looks great, doesn’t it? Yours looks damn nice.”

Ekko glances at her, her eyes, the slope of her nose. “Looks beautiful,” he murmurs — 

He doesn’t mean the graffiti.

25 DAYS BEFORE

Once again, Jinx is dragging him to the beach, near the end of the day. This must be the tenth time at least — it’s enough that he starts to memorize the bend of the beach, where the stairs and markers are, where they always end up.

She asked him to drive, citing that Caitlyn and Vi were out on a date and took the shared car. 

When they got there, she breathed in relief, tugging him away from the car so quickly he wasn’t sure she was going to give him a chance to even lock it. “Come on — come on, there’s something happening tonight.”

When they got to the beach, it was crawling with more people than he expected, everyone laying out towels and beach chairs. They had just brought towels — a set for the car and a set for the actual beach. 

Jinx tugged him over to the spot with less people, excitement raw and painted clearly on her expression. With her medication having been adjusted, she had usually been more docile, quiet — so this was a nice change. Excited, but not manic. 

“What’s going on?” Ekko finally asked the question itching at him, watching the sun fade out of the sky, leaving behind only streaks of orange and pink. 

“Shh — just watch, damn.” She muttered, but he could tell she was just as impatient for whatever she dragged him out to see. He rolled his eyes, and she kicked at his ankle. “Trust the process, little man.” 

He may not have rolled his eyes, but he wanted to. 

Finally, though — the show started. 

As the sky dimmed into navy blue, a chill biting into all the spectator’s skins, light burst into the sky. Flares and flashes of red and blue and green and yellow, bright and bold. Some made shapes, casting the sky in a faint glow as the faint pops and booms went off in rapid succession.

His eyes widened at the firework show — and when he turned to look at Jinx, she was already looking at him. Her eyes were framed with those long, long eyelashes (he remembers how they felt against his cheek) and her lips were quirked up into a smile (the same lips he remembers the feeling of) —

And once again, he knows what they’re thinking, the words left unsaid, and she must too — because she leans in and kisses him again. 

Ekko relishes in the feeling of her mouth against his, her chapped and dry lips splitting his own until it’s all he can feel, see, think —

He doesn’t want the moment to end, but behind her, the lights illuminate all secrets. 

They don’t have enough time.

20 DAYS BEFORE

Once again, they aren’t talking about it — and this time, Ekko refuses to let her run. Not when she keeps initiating it; not when she’s also the first to leave. He needs to know what she wants from him — the back and forth leaving him far too adrift.

He calls her, asks her to meet him on the beach. As with most of their solo beach-time visits, it’s late. Shadows are cast over the white sand, dying it a murky violet that feels almost like a bad omen. The tide is low, creeping up along the shore to reclaim the shells that he would normally be collecting for her, an offering to the deity that he’s certain must reside in her.

But he doesn’t.

When she arrives, it’s without much fanfare — but his skin lights up like those fireworks all the same. She hadn’t even touched him yet, and still, he knows her touch enough to pretend.

Even so, it doesn’t stop the sting he feels at her pretending like nothing has happened — that both times meant nothing. He knows her well enough to know it’s just an act — but the fact she would pretend with him at all stings.

It’s the first time he’s seen her since, and judging by the way she’s holding herself, she knows what this is about.

“Jinx,” he breathes out her name, soft and almost keening. 

She looks at him, gaze heavy and movements hesitant — nonetheless, she meets him on the beach, stands in front of him. Her hesitance makes her look smaller than she is and he can tell she thinks she’s going to be in trouble.

He knows what she gets like when she thinks everything will fall apart — she bares her claws, rips it apart before it can leave her first. He grabs her hand, tries to show he’s still there, isn’t trying to leave. He just wants to understand.

Her hand stills in his, and those blue eyes turn up to his, shy, unsure. “Ekko,” she finally whispers. “What did you want?”

Ekko frowns at her, eyebrows knitting together. “I just… wanted to talk, Powder.”

The waves crash around them — deafening despite the low tide. It rumbles around them, sets a loud melody that seems almost like a bad omen in of itself. And yet, it’s the same beach they’ve always known. 

“Then talk. ” There’s a snarl in her voice — one he knows to be defensive rather than offensive. He runs his thumb over her wrist, slow and in an attempt to still soothe, he was always trying to soothe.

His gaze dropped to her mouth, slow enough so she could watch the movement. “Why are you running?”

That must’ve been the wrong starter because she immediately bristles. “I’m not.” Her words are short and clipped like bird’s wings, feathered and beating fruitlessly.

“You are, though — Jinx, just—“ He whispers, eyes shutting. He exhales slowly, purposeful and measured, before letting go of her hand. Ekko scrubs his hands over his face, and he hears her shift in place.

“Just tell me what’s going on,” he begs.

Jinx lets out a breath of her own, sharp and cutting like stone, and when he opens his eyes it’s to see her rocking back and forth on her heels. When she looks at him, her expression is shuttered, unreadable. “I don’t know what you want me to say,” she settles on, voice nearly inaudible.

“You don’t need to say anything,” Ekko murmurs, “I just don’t want you to lie to me, to run.”

Jinx has never been a liar — but she has been a runner. Even now, her defenses are pulled up like briars winding around her, thorns sharp and angled outwards. “That’s rich,” she sneers, teeth glinting like fangs under the moonlight.

Ekko stares at her, wounded, “Powder—“

“Not now,” she hisses. “You don’t call me that just because we’re arguing.” She crosses her arms tight over her chest, making herself smaller — he thinks if she were one of those seashells, she would be the picture of those sharp, tightly wound shells she always collected. 

Jinx breathes in and out, slow but hollow, when she finally grits out, “I’m not trying to run, I just don’t know how to stay — not when everyone keeps… leaving.”

Ekko takes a step closer, eyes soft and round and hopeful. “I’m not going to leave, so just — stay, let me show you you can stay.”

Jinx’s eyes snap up to his, pupils wide and dark with her anger, nearly swallowing the blue whole. “You always do this, Ekko.”

He doesn’t understand. “What? Do what?”

She takes a step back, sinking into the sand — looking away to where the sea swallows the sky in dark stretches of waves. “You talk like you need to fix me, like I’m ridiculous for thinking everyone’s going to leave, like —“

Ekko shakes his head, eyes wide and baffled, “That’s not what I’m trying to do!”

Jinx glares at him, face sallow in the moonlight, pale and wan like the waxy moon itself. “You don’t get it,” she muttered, her voice tight.

He can’t help the frustration that grips his heart, clawing out of his throat until it comes out in his words, “Then make me get it! I’m right here.”

When she laughs, it’s bitter like cyanide. “Sure, until you’re not.”

He freezes, eyes narrowing. “That’s what this is about?” Ekko stares at her, unable to swallow the hurt down. “You think, after all this time, I’m just going to disappear? I’m going to college — not to war.”

Jinx stares at him like he might as well be a stranger, just another figure with sharp teeth and made of shadows, “Everyone does — why would you be any different?”

“I choose to be — I choose you, every time!” He snaps, an exhale of disbelief underlying his words. “I’ve always chosen you, always will.”

She flinches, and whether it’s from his words or the weight of his gaze, he isn’t sure. “You didn’t this time,” she hisses. “How much longer are you going to ‘choose me?’ You’re leaving, Ekko — and I’m just — stuck here! Staying for everyone who’s just — moving on!”

He stares once again — left in disbelief. “You aren’t stuck, Jinx.”

“You’re going to go off, make plenty of normal friends, who don’t have this damn — baggage — and realize it’s so much easier without my — my stupid bullshit dragging you down. Why’d’ya think Vi’s marrying Caitlyn? It’s gonna happen with her too, and I’ll be left with nobody!”

Ekko can’t believe what he’s hearing, shaking his head. “You don’t know that — that’s not — Jinx, that’s not fair,” he mutters. 

She wavers in place, her hands trembling at her sides. “Life’s not fair. It’s fine, Ekko — I know how this ends, I’ve known how it was going to end.”

His chest aches, heart thrumming quickly — so fast he can feel his pulse in his ears. “If you know how this ends, then why are you running?”

Jinx shakes her head, “I’m sorry for kissing you.” Her words sound hollow even to his ears. “But we need — we may as well stop now.”

“Jinx,” he begs for her to stay — and for a second, he thinks he will.

But she doesn’t.

Jinx turns on her heel and leaves, and he watches her get into that old, beat up car and scream, so loud he thinks he can hear it even as the waves swallow the sound around him.

23 DAYS BEFORE

His phone is quieter than usual. Only the buzz of texts from Scar and Zeri come through occasionally, but even they are busy. He isn’t sure what to do without being dragged around, so he decides to try to pack instead. 

It doesn’t work — he just thinks about how much better it would be with her by his side — but he’s just still so mad.

Jinx should be here, with him, tossing clothes at him incessantly and fucking around with the collectibles she knows she isn’t supposed to touch — complaining about Caitlyn and Vi and singing shitty pop tunes.

But she’s not.

And he’s still mad.

When he picks up his phone again, Jinx’s name is still not there — God, it hasn’t been since their argument. 

He hovers on her contact, thinks about texting her something stupid and small, something like an olive branch. But nothing between them is stupid nor small, and she knows that — knows him, would know it means too much. 

He doesn’t text her. 

20 DAYS LEFT

She still hasn’t texted him. 

But he doesn’t text her either.

14 DAYS LEFT

It’s been long enough that he knows if he doesn’t break first, she’ll take this time to self-destruct, to let him leave and avoid him when he does come back home. She’ll do what she did in her first episode — that break in routine so severe, so all encompassing.

He isn’t stubborn enough to let her do that to herself. He texts her — and she will either show or she won’t.

EKKO

9:36PM

beach. 10:30PM. same spot. 

He hits send — and after a moment of hesitance, types a bit more.

miss you.

He shuts his phone off and gets ready. 

The sun has long dipped below the horizon when Jinx finally shows up. 

Meanwhile, Ekko had been staring at his phone every two minutes, unsure if she would actually come. Last time he checked the time, it was 10:45 — fifteen past when she was supposed to be there. 

But late or not, she’s here. 

The jacket she’s wearing looks heavy, framing her awkwardly with how small she is, but he knows that it doesn’t stop her from being strong — even if she doesn’t feel it. She shifts her weight from foot to foot, her arms crossed. 

“You came,” he says, watching her evenly.

Jinx shrugs, gaze averted. “You asked, so…” Her fingers twitch against her arms, and she tucks her chin defensively — a posture she’s only taken with him back when things were bad. “I’m here. What do you want?”

“Jinx.” Ekko frowns at her, gaze soft. “You know what.”

She kicks at the sand, almost petulantly. “You’re leaving,” she argues, like that would explain where her head’s at — and in a way, it does.

“I know, Jinx. God, I know.” He sighs, reaching out in the space between them but never truly making contact. “But I don’t want it to end like this. When I come home, I want to be able to find you again. For you to find me, to want to see me, when you’re out there making those inventions and shit.”

She’s never usually this quiet — always followed by crashing explosions and fireworks and the waves on the beach. “I didn’t know what to say.”

“So you… just left?” Ekko watches her, the way she looks away with what must be shame. 

Jinx brings her hands to her hair, tugging rough enough that he steps forward to tug fingers away from the loose, blue-green strands. “I don’t know, Ekko. I don’t. I’m sorry if that’s not a good enough answer, but I don’t know.”

Ekko lifts his hand, brushes knuckles to her cheek. “You don’t have to. We can figure it out — together — but not if you keep running.” 

She looks up finally, turning those big eyes to him. They’re lined with kohl, making them ever larger, more blue. Her shoulders drop like the tension is unwinding from her entire self. “I don’t wanna fight anymore,” she whimpers. 

Ekko runs his thumb over her cheek, her jaw. “Me neither. You still mad?”

Jinx nods, but doesn’t leave. “Just a bit,” she grumbles.

Ekko can’t help but to smirk. “Yeah, me too.”

Even so, she exhales slowly. Before he can react, she steps forward, buries her cold nose into his neck. She doesn’t pull away — not immediately. 

He beats her to it, cradles her face between his hands so she will look at him — really look at him. “Are we really not gonna talk about it?” 

She stiffens, but doesn’t look away. “Talk about what?”

“Jinx.”

She groans, finally stepping back and away. “Do we have to? Right now?”

He follows, like he always does — but the breath he sighs is light. “We kissed — twice. Yeah, we do.”

It’s obvious by the way she looks like she ate something sour that she doesn’t want to have this conversation, but nonetheless, she lingers. 

Finally, she says something. “You didn’t say anything about it either.”

He scoffs, though not unkindly. “Because you didn’t. I’ve been waiting all summer, all year for you to say something.”

Jinx looks up so fast he thinks her neck might’ve cracked. “What? Huh? Sorry — what’d you just say?”

He smirks, shaking his head. Ekko knows she isn’t so oblivious, right? “I’ve got eyes, Jinx. I’ve been waiting for you to tell me how you feel. Waited for you to be ready.”

Her face erupts into flames, her eyes wide and shellshocked. She looks more like the smooth shells than the sharp ones, and he just hopes she knows how precious she is. 

“Well,” she mutters, blinking rapidly. “I just — I didn’t want to ruin anything.”

“Ruin things?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Like — us, ruin us.” She throws her hands to the side, nails like silhouetted claws. “I didn’t wanna fuck things up before you left, thought it… would be better to just — let it be.”

Ekko wasn’t sure where kissing him fit into that equation, but — sometimes it just was like this. She said things he didn’t understand. Even so… “Jinx, you not talking to me like that — shutting me out — fucked stuff up more than you kissing me, more than if you just talked to me.”

She scoffs, and turns to sit in the sand, facing the crashing waves of the low tide. “Well, ow.”

Ekko sighs, sitting down next to her despite the disbelief still wrangling with the fondness in his chest. “If you don’t want this, then fine. But don’t act like it didn’t mean something.”

Jinx still refuses to look at him, but she mumbles, “I did want it.”

His breath hitches. “Yeah?”

When her eyes meet his, they’re uncertain — but still, she doesn’t run. “Yeah. I just… if we talked about it, it made it real. And then what, when you leave?”

Ekko startles because — well, she isn’t wrong. What then? 

“I don’t know,” he admits. “But I don’t want to pretend it never happened. I wanna…” He looks at her, reaches for her hand like she might run away again — slow, tender. 

Blue eyes glance to where their hands slowly intertwine, “Figure this shit out?” She guesses. “I dunno how to do all this, Ekko. What’ll happen.”

He nods, because he isn’t sure either — but he is sure of Jinx. “I don’t either, but… Why don’t we at least try to figure it out together?”

Jinx stares at their hands openly now, and the sigh she lets out is thin and shaky. Around them, the sand shifts, like something has found its place. “God, you’re a sap. Sure. Let’s… figure it out.”

This time, he kisses her first.

It’s worth the sandy knees and hair. 

1 DAY BEFORE

“One last time?”  

Her mouth slots against his, soft and sweet and mournful. They settle in the sand, moonlight breaking the waves into streams of paper white and blue, just like her. If nothing else, he knows every time he goes to the beach, he will always see her.

He tastes salt on her lips, and he knows it isn’t the beach. He presses kisses up the trail that runs from her eyes to her jaw, whispers I love you, I love you, I love you —

It’s the last night they’ll have together, and no matter how many kisses they share, how often they whisper secrets neither of them knew about the other, it doesn’t feel real. 

“I’ll call every day,” he promises.

“I know,” she whispers.

“I’ll visit every time I can, every break,” he swears.

“I know,” she whimpers.

“I’ll love you every day I’m there, every day I’m not. It’s you, it’s you, it’s you, it will only be you,” he mumbles into her skin, her lips, anywhere he can reach.

“I know,” she swallows his words between her teeth, her voice jagged like she’d just eaten glass. 

She doesn’t believe him — but that’s okay, he’ll prove it all the same.

He memorizes the curve of her face — from the cutting edge of her cheekbones to the dip under her lips, the old scar that stretches over her jaw. It might be the last time for a while that he gets to see Jinx like this, vulnerable and soft and raw, everything she refuses to be with anyone else.

“I wish we didn’t have to say goodbye,” he admits — always living in the past, and he doesn’t have any plans to change that. Not unless it was to make Jinx his future.

“Me too,” she shudders, “but we can’t pretend time stops.”

Ekko knows this much to be true — but he also knows that Jinx will linger everywhere she’s touched him, the way she’s carved a space for herself in his very being. “No, we can’t,” he agrees, pressing a kiss to her jaw. “But we can make the most of right now.”

They kiss, again and again until they can’t remember where they are, dizzy against the sand. All that stays around them is the low tide, crooning and beckoning — and he just hopes she’ll remember this.

The beginning, and not tomorrow’s loss. 

0 DAYS BEFORE

Ekko’s gone — she and Vi and, ugh, Caitlyn saw him off before he went to the airport with his parents, sent him away with all the knickknacks they could as if begging him to please don’t forget us, not after everything.

It still doesn’t feel real. 

Jinx feels like the ground has shifted irreparably from underneath her — and while he would be in classes next week, she still had a few empty weeks to be left alone with her thoughts. 

Vi would be there for her — she always was, has been a rock over the last few weeks. Stroked her hair when she had still been crying like a baby over Ekko, asked if she needed to bury a body. She felt like a kid again, clinging to Vi.

Vi didn’t seem to mind.

Strangely, neither did Caitlyn. 

Today, she goes to the beach. She walks the shoreline, the sun only starting its slow descent below the horizon. While there, she thinks of the promises and slow lazy kisses she and Ekko shared.

She thinks of the fireworks and she thinks of collecting shells, of the feel of his skin, of hearing his laughter while they teamed up against Caitlyn and Vi and each other. 

She finds a sand dollar — smooth, soft, nearly crumbling under her touch, but so beautiful all the same. It, too, has survived hardship. It didn’t need sharp, jagged edges to do so — and still, it was remembered. Still, it remained.

Jinx pockets it, and when she gets home, she puts that sand dollar on her shelf.

I’ll be okay, she thinks. This, too, I can survive.

Jinx does what she has always wanted to do — and she builds. 

She may not be leaving, but she isn’t stuck either.

"Go ahead and bury those memories, and bury the

tenderness he showed you when you got stuck
out at sea, because you do that, seek risk to make
sense of the violence served to you long ago—
the many varieties of violence, platters of soft

and blue violence, vintage violence. Never mind
that you shared how deep your rage goes and he
held your stare like a comrade. Never mind that
letting him go is like peeling your skin loose from

electrical wire—current extravagant against your
soles. And never mind that saying goodbye never
would have made a difference anyway."

'LOVERS ON FIRE IN A BOAT' - a poem by Ann-Marie Blanchard