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Mika was standing in front of a mirror, looking at his reflection.
He would often hear from the others how pretty he was. But, he wished he could see that too. Mika couldn’t understand what was pretty about him. His hair? He tried to take care of it, but sometimes in anxiety, he would pull on it, damaging it slightly. Sometimes Shu would scold him for it, but sometimes it would go unnoticed. Mika, of course, preferred it to stay that way, but he did like it when Shu would notice his struggles.
He put his hands on his face, caressing his cheeks. His skin was impure. It would crack often, or get oily, or sometimes too dry. Arashi, his best friend who knew a lot about skincare, would sometimes help him, but he was embarrassed about going to her every day. And it was just a small problem, too. Nothing to really worry about.
But his biggest problem was something else. It wasn’t the state of his skin. Or his hair, or his fingers with multiple injuries from sewing.
The biggest problem was his unmatched eyes.
They were bothering him, every single time he looked into a mirror. He wished he could take one out, and swap it for the same color as the other one. He thought of maybe wearing an eyepatch, or hiding one of his eyes behind his bangs.
But at the same time, he’s heard multiple times how pretty they are. Sometimes even that they’re the only really pretty thing about him, which he himself found quite rude. Or disrespectful. Calling something disgusting the only nice thing in him was making him upset.
His fans would always stare into his eyes. They were drawing attention, and he didn’t want it.
Mika sat down in front of the mirror. Staring into his own eyes, and them staring back at him. Maybe if he did this for long enough, he would accept them. Probably not, but it was worth a try.
He just felt like crying, though.
He felt like crying, because he knew he couldn’t live up to his Oshi-san's standards. Shu Itsuki, who was somehow his boyfriend (he had no idea how this happened.), was the most gorgeous person he’s ever seen. And he was supposed to stand next to him, both on stage, and as his lover. Apparently. But how could he do that, really. He felt disgusted with himself, as his body seemed to look worse and worse in his reflection. Mika didn’t want to look at himself.
Maybe he should just-
“Kagehira?”
A familiar voice stopped his train of thought. He always appreciated hearing this voice, yet now, he didn’t know if he found it a blessing, or a curse. He just wanted to be by himself, really.
“O- Oshi-san?” Mika turned around, seeing his boyfriend standing next to him. “Ya came home early?”
“What are you talking about? It’s past 8 PM.” Shu looked at Mika, with those pretty eyes of his. He was slightly jealous, he couldn’t deny. The boy couldn’t tell if he was getting scolded, or simply reminded.
“E- Eh? Is it?” Mika didn’t realize the time. He was too focused on himself to check the clock.
“...” Shu sighed, without commenting. “What are you doing? Why would you sit on the floor?”
Mika didn’t know if should avoid saying what he has on mind, or if he should just speak up. If he wouldn’t speak, Shu would probably get upset at him.
“... Oshi-san, can I ask ya somethin’?” Mika went back to staring at his reflection, which Shu picked up on. He could see the pink-haired man in his peripheral vision, and he was also looking at Mika’s reflection.
“Go ahead.” Shu answered, his voice kind. He could probably pick up that Mika was serious about it.
“Am I… Pretty? T’ya, at least…” Mika hesitated, but asked the question anyway.
There was a moment of silence, as Mika kept on uncomfortably staring at his reflection. He didn’t want to look anywhere else. He wanted to look away, but it’s like he was drawn to it. In a negative way.
“What made you ask this?” Shu put his hand on Mika’s shoulder. He was rarely the one to initiate physical touch, but because of this it was more special when he finally did.
“N- Nothin’, I’m just… Ma eyes are botherin’ me… A- And… Ma face isn’t perfect either… Ya are very pretty, Oshi-san, so… I- It makes me a bit worried… T’be next t’ya…”
“Nonsense, Kagehira.” He spoke up, his gaze still focused on Mika’s reflection, yet now he was staring straight into his eyes in it.
“Your eyes are unique, yes. But it’s not a bad thing. Personally, I find them… attracting. They make me want to look more and more into them.” Shu admitted. “Eyes are like a window to one’s soul. Maybe that’s why yours are so captivating.” He smiled slightly.
… Was his Oshi-san complimenting him? He must’ve misheard or misunderstood something.
“Eh? What d’ya mean?” Mika looked away from his reflection, and looked at Shu in the mirror instead.
“Of course you wouldn’t understand, Kagehira. But it’s alright.” Shu sighed. “All I meant is that yes, I find you pretty. Both your eyes, and the rest of you as well. You might not be a porcelain doll, you might not be as perfect as Nito was, but you’re not Nito—”
“But-”
“— And I wouldn’t want you to be like Nito, anyways.” Shu finished, ignoring Mika’s interruption.
“Ngah… I don’t understand… Why not?” Mika turned his head and tilted it upwards towards the real Shu, not his reflection.
“I want you to be human, Kagehira. I told you this multiple times already. And humans are allowed to be imperfect. Stand up from the floor.”
Mika listened, although still confused, and stood up. He was standing in front of Shu, looking at him with a puzzled look.
Shu approached him closer, and cupped Mika’s face in his hands. Inspecting it from multiple angles, making Mika flustered. He loved his boyfriend, even slightly too much, so having him so close to his face… It was too much!
“You’re perfect in my eyes, Kagehira.” Shu stated, before kissing Mika on his forehead. “So, whoever or whatever made you think you’re not beautiful, you shouldn’t care about it.”
“Y’mean it…?” Mika pouted slightly, leaning in closer into Shu’s hands.
“I do.”
…
“... Can we cuddle to sleep?” Mika added, embarrassed.
“... If it’ll make you feel better.”
Mika smiled brightly towards Shu.