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“I don’t want to be boyfriends anymore.”
Kaito casually mentioned from across the sofa while Shinichi was reading a crime novel sitting on the other side. It was supposed to be a relaxing Saturday afternoon in their shared apartment. They both had a full week of work and finally got to stay in. But when Kaito suddenly spoke up, he was caught out of his peaceful novel.
He surely must have heard that wrong.
“Come again, what did you say?” Shinichi lowered the book and lifted his head, because clearly, he didn’t hear right. He grabbed for the coffee in front of him to take a sip.
“I don’t want to be your boyfriend anymore.” Kaito repeated in the same calm manner as before, directly looking Shinichi in the eyes. Shinichi stares in silence, not believing his ears. This must be a joke, a very foul one, but the calm and confident way Kaito spoke, he wasn’t joking. Over the years Shinichi got to know his boyfriend well enough to tell when he’s serious. This realization made his stomach drop.
“What? You’re joking, right?” He had a feeling his boyfriend wasn’t joking, but he had to make sure.
“I’m not, why would I joke about this?” Kaito leaned back on the couch.
Shinichi looked around in confusion, trying to make sense of the situation. Did he do anything wrong or hurt Kaito’s feelings without noticing? He thought that they were at a good place in their relationship after dating for almost ten years. Of course, they had a rough start as they met on the opposite sides of the law as detective and thief. Shinichi would attend to the sneaky thief’s extravagant heists to catch him, first as Conan and later in his real body. A predestined rivalry turned into occasional alliances with hints of underlying intentions until they met in the darkness after each heist and stopped pretending to despise the other.
After all their hardships Shinichi never expected his relationship to find its end this quickly without any premonition.
“So, you just decided you didn’t want to be boyfriends over night?” His voice was calm but inside Shinichi felt hurt and the anger grew. Was this all just a joke to Kaito? He must be missing something here, right?
“Actually” Kaito put his head on his palm “I’ve been thinking about it for a while already. But I wasn’t sure and just let things slide a little bit longer.” He was so nonchalant, as if it didn’t affect him at all. Like he hasn’t given his heart at all in the past decade they spent together.
“You’re actually serious about this?” Shinichi’s voice unintentionally rose slightly. He wasn’t one to shout easily, especially at a loved one.
“Absolutely! The past few months and weeks I was thinking about it a lot and my resolve grew. Trust me Shinichi, I’m sure about this.” Kaito casually confirmed.
“And you thought, now on a peaceful day like this would be a good time to announce that?” disbelief growing in his voice.
“I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. I know you don’t really like big announcements and stuff.”
The more he heard from Kaito the more he felt played. He trusted him with all his heart and genuinely loved him, he didn’t intend to part ways with him. Not now, not in the foreseeable future. In fact, until this very moment he was confident enough that they would stay together until the end, hence it seemed so unreal to Shinichi that this is how Kaito breaks up with him. Maybe he should be thankful that he didn’t just send a text message to end their relationship.
“I can’t believe this. I can’t believe you!” Shinichi stood up and put some distance between them. “Why would you just suddenly break up with me like this? I love you, more than I thought I could ever love another person and here you are throwing what we have away like it meant nothing to you.” Shinichi tried to remain calm, but after having said it out loud his eyes became watery. Kaito just silently stared at him, his mouth slightly open and seemed perplexed at his sudden outburst.
“I really thought you felt the same.” His voice grew weak, and he didn’t know what to do. 10 years down the drain? Was this really the end? Shinichi sat back on the couch and buried his face in his hands, he didn’t want Kaito to see him like this. Not when he didn’t seem to care about him and his feelings at all. He started crying, thinking about all the beautiful moments they shared and how he was the only one in love. That he wasn’t worth a proper goodbye and was easily discarded. He hated it. He hated it to feel like this and he felt defeated.
He was so consumed in sadness that he didn’t notice Kaito scooching over and his hand stroking his back.
“I- Shinichi! Please calm down! Listen to me!” Kaito sat closely next to him, trying to console him. Perhaps Shinichi should push him away, but how could he reject the comfort of the one he loves the most?
At this point Shinichi didn’t want to hear what Kaito had to say. He didn’t want to hear empty words to consolation or him taking the blame for the break-up. It wouldn’t change the facts. It wouldn’t change that they had spent all these years in happiness and him being completely invested in this relationship. He couldn’t deal with the consequences of their breakup, not yet.
“Shinichi!” Kaito firmly shouted and gently, yet strongly pulled his hands away from his face, forcing him to look at him. Shinichi's chest tightened, his breath catching as if he'd surfaced after nearly drowning.
“I’m not breaking up with you!” Kaito cups his face and looks deeply into Shinichi’s eyes. His voice was a loud whisper, filled with pain and misery, trying not to break him any further.
“I don’t want to leave you. You’re the love of my life and I wouldn’t survive a single day without being loved by you.”
Now even Kaito’s eyes have become teary. Kaito’s words tore Shinichi out of what seemed like a nightmare.
“But… then why… did you say this? Why don’t you wanna be my boyfriend anymore?”
“I don’t want to be your boyfriend because…. “ Kaito took a deep breath and stared intensely into Shinichi’s eyes once more, before sighing. „Just how could you misunderstand it so much, you fool?” Kaito had a small smile on his face while his voice was filled with nothing but love. “I want to be your husband, not you boyfriend.”
Shinichi stares in silence. The remaining tears dropping and he could barely breathe. Not only because his nose was clogged from crying so much, but because he couldn’t believe what he just heard. And for the first time this afternoon, he felt like he didn’t have to lose his mind any further.
“What?” his voice breaks in between sobs.
“I want to spend the rest of my life next to you. I don’t need anybody else, but you.” Kaito frowned slightly, seeing the miserable state he put in his boyfriend by accident. He carefully wipes the tears on his lover’s face. “It pains me to see you like this and be responsible for your tears... And in order to avoid any more misunderstandings, let me say it loud and clear: I love you and I want to marry you Shinichi.” Kaito solemnly declares.
Just a few minutes ago Shinichi thought that his world was crashing and that the love of his life wanted to toss him away. But here he is, Kaito proposing to him in the most chaotic way and still managing to turn his world again, this time putting it back in place.
The idea of marriage crossed his mind a few times in the past few years. They were still young, and the current laws wouldn’t allow them to get married in Japan, but that didn’t mean that it wouldn’t change sometime in the future. He was also considering getting married overseas and returning to Japan with the knowledge of having tied the knot.
Kaito turned out to be a perfect candidate for marriage pretty early into their relationship. He was everything Shinichi wanted in a partner. He was passionate, on the same wavelength, charismatic and witty all while being caring and sensitive. He truly enjoyed spending time with him, and it was just a question of time until he would have asked for his hand. But it seemed like Kaito got ahead of him.
Shinichi has calmed down a tad and despite having puffy eyes the corner of his mouth finally rose slightly. There was only one correct answer to Kaito’s proposal.
“Yes.” His voice was merely above a whisper, glancing up after looking down. “Me too.” His eyes meeting Kaito’s to give him as clear of an answer as he asked the question.
Kaito’s eyes widened, and he instantly pulled his fiancée into a tight hug. Shinichi had no time to react, so his arms hung low as he got squeezed into Kaito’s arms. Shortly after Kaito released him and kissed him.
“You make me the happiest man alive, you know that? I love you sooo much” Kaito beamed and kissed him again.
“You have a shitty way of showing that you know?” Shinichi weakly punched the younger. “You can’t believe how awful I felt when you suddenly said you don’t want to be my boyfriend anymore.” Just thinking about it makes him want to cry again. “I thought my world was about to end, and I felt nauseous. It was as if it would cut the oxygen from my lungs…” Shinichi wiped his face with his sleeves and grabbed Kaito’s hands “You have so much power over me, because I love you endlessly. I hope that you will never leave me, I don’t think I would survive that.”
Kaito pulled Shinichi’s hand up to his chest. He pressed his hand against his heart for Shinichi to feel his pulse. “You are my life. My life is incomplete without you Shinichi. Even if there was someone else, they could never make me feel like you. I will never leave your side and make you feel loved for every single day to come, if you let me. I love you and nothing will ever change that, I promise.”
Shinichi was blessed with happiness, knowing that he will get to spend his life with Kaito.
He smiled warmly and leaned in for a kiss, sealing their vow.