Work Text:
"Irving, you've been fired. That's it. It's over. You have to stop."
"I can't, Burt. I just can't. I owe it to him to save his life. By firing me, they killed him." He started to shake with uncontrollable rage and with grief, remembering the chill and the inexplicable wetness and the confusion of that moment, the overflowing endorphins racing through his body when he came to in that forest. "And I owe it to us to find answers. I have to keep going. I have to keep painting. I have to get back on the severed floor, I..." Irving trailed off when Burt enveloped him in a hug.
The word "us" lingered on his tongue. Irving hoped that Burt hadn't noticed.
Or maybe he hoped he had.
"I hope you know... I wasn't trying to imply that you don't care," he said softly, still in Burt's firm embrace. He didn't understand Burt's choice to retire, but he supported him in the end; he and Fields had even organized Burt's retirement party together. He had come to accept that he'd have to continue the fight against Lumon on his own. It was lonely work, but he would do it until the bitter end.
Irving rested his head against Burt's shoulder, leaning into the hug. "I know that you and Fields deserve a life together. To see the world together. But we've come so far towards finding answers..."
"Hush now," Burt said in a calming voice, "I'm never going to take offense at anything you have to say."
Irving broke the embrace, "Well, you might."
"I would never."
"I, um..." The words "I love you" stuck in his throat. At 67 years old, he had had many lovers over the years, and yet... this love was something different. He somehow couldn't make the words come out for this man—his best friend, his confidant, his former comrade in arms.
The silence stretched on.
"You know, Fields thinks it's sweet," Burt said with a sly smile.
"Oh?" Irving didn't know how to interpret that. When Burt did not offer him an answer, he continued, "What, um, does he..." Irving was normally eloquent but not in this moment.
"Oh come on inside—it's cold out," Burt said with a grin as he started to gently push Irving inside. The warmth emanating from within Burt's house had made the cold on his stoop feel bearable, but just barely. "If you're going to insist on continuing with this work, then... well, I may be retired, but that doesn't mean it can't be like before. We can drink some coffee late into the night, plan some espionage, and you and Fields can talk about how wonderful I am." He gave Irving a playful wink.
Burt wasn’t just wonderful. He was magnificent.
As Irving stepped into the cozy home, he felt his heart overflowing. And in that moment, the feelings of rage and grief were overtaken by those of joy and resiliency. With the help of these two men, he would need to nurture all four of those emotions, equally, in the weeks to come. But for now, he was safe and he was loved. And that was enough.