Work Text:
As he chatted with Daniel about the last few months, Jack found his mind drifting. It often did, now that he was back at the SGC, though in fairness, he’d barely been back a day.
He’d had a simple, beautiful life, with good, simple people within his grasp. Working with his hands, building things. Side by side with a damn good woman. A man could be happy living out his days like that.
“Sir,” said Carter, jerking him back to reality. She must have just walked in – he hadn’t been zoning out that long.
“What’s up?”
“I’ve been thinking,” she said without preamble, in that way she had when she’d been turning over a problem in her head.
“You do that a lot, Carter,” he couldn’t help saying.
“You should go back to Edoras,” she blurted out.
Everything in him froze at that. “What?”
“What?” said Daniel.
Sam looked over at Daniel, startled. “Daniel! I didn’t see you there.” Daniel gave a little wave, but she turned her attention back to Jack, focused on her mission. “I’m sure we can get the General to agree to your retirement. You’ve more than earned it.”
Jack blinked at her, unsure how to process what she was saying.
“Sam,” said Daniel, speaking in the careful tones he usually reserved for people pointing weapons at him. “You broke the laws of physics to get him back.”
“ What?” said Jack.
Sam shook her head. “It doesn’t matter.”
Now Jack knew he was hearing things. When had she ever said that groundbreaking science didn’t matter?
“ Several generations of scientists would disagree,” Daniel pointed out. “Will still be disagreeing for decades to come once your work is declassified!”
She waved her hand dismissively. “That’s not the point. We play with unknown science all the time.”
Jack knew his eyebrows must be almost to his hairline at this point. “ You play with unknown science all the time, Carter,” he couldn’t help but point out.
“You broke the laws of physics!” said Daniel in an impressive display of deep, academic nerd indignation. He hadn’t looked this incredulous since… actually, Jack was pretty sure he’d never seen Daniel look this incredulous.
He took a good look at Carter, possibly for the first time since coming back. She still moved with the self-assured competence he was used to, but she was paler and thinner than before. And tired in a way that went beyond an uneasy night’s sleep or two. He frowned. “Carter, are you okay? I think you should go see Dr.-“
She waved him off impatiently “Yes, she’s already pumped me full of fluids and yelled at me.” He frowned in confusion. “The point is, Colonel-“
Daniel broke in again. “The point is that you nearly killed yourself building-“
“The science will still be there, Daniel,” she said sharply. Way more sharply than he’d ever heard her speak to Daniel before. He snapped his mouth shut and stared at her wide eyed.
Jack looked between the two of them. “Does anyone want to clue me in on what either of you are talking about? When did you almost kill yourself?”
“Daniel’s being dramatic,” she said. “I had to work through some difficult science.”
“I’m really not,” he heard Daniel mutter.
“Colonel,” said Sam, setting her jaw and squaring her shoulders, like she’d done some complex calculations and had come to an answer she had to present. But it seemed those complex calculations this time were about him. “We got those people we evacuated back home. And yes,” she said, directing this part at Daniel, “Teal’c and I did everything in our power to get you back home. But that was because we had assumed you were trapped there.”
Jack looked at Daniel. “Was I not trapped there?” Back to Carter. “I’m pretty sure I was trapped there.”
Daniel was staring at Carter, this time with the same expression he gave women on other planets he had to be all sensitive and empathetic at, so they’d stand aside and let the team do their thing. “Sam.”
Carter ignored him. “Colonel. Jack.”
Jack frowned. He didn’t mind her calling him by his first name, but there seemed to be some undercurrents behind it that he couldn’t quite grasp.
Sam looked pained. “You were happy there.”
He swallowed hard because, well, she wasn’t entirely wrong .
“Teal’c and I we… we wanted to rescue you from a place you were trapped, not rip you out of a place you’d found happiness. Where you could just be Jack and not the Colonel.”
He’d just been daydreaming about it, yeah. But had he found happiness? A certain amount of tranquility, definitely. Contentment, sure. But happiness? No. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have run out of the house as soon as Laira had told him she heard voices from his radio. He wouldn’t have been so damn elated to see Teal’c.
He wasn’t sure he’d even realized it himself until just now, when Sam looked at him with her wide, pained eyes, looking spent. After, by the sounds of it, busting her ass far harder than she should have to do the impossible for his ungrateful ass. And now she was standing there looking at him, convinced she’d done wrong by him in doing so. He’d told Laira that a part of him would always be here on Earth even if he could never get back. The same wasn’t true in reverse.
“Sam,” said Daniel. “I’m not sure you’re thinking straight. You’ve been overdoing it-“
Jack almost smiled at the glare she sent him. “Carter,” he said gently. “You didn’t rip me out-“
She shook her head. “I heard what you said to Laira.”
Jack winced.
“A-and I wasn’t thinking straight at the time, but we should have told you to stay right then and there. We were being selfish, dragging you back here.”
Okay, well enough of that . “Carter, you were not being selfish, for crying out loud!”
“You deserve to be happy, Jack.”
Now that he had an inkling of why she’d suddenly started calling him Jack, he hated it. “Did I retire already, and nobody told me?” he asked.
It came out harsher than he intended. He winced again when she nearly snapped to attention in surprise. “Of course not, sir.”
He sighed and put his head in his hands for a moment. “I’m sorry. I’m being an ass.” He looked up at her. “I wouldn’t have come back if I didn’t want to, Carter.”
She eyed him skeptically, and he knew exactly what she was thinking. He had a lifetime of military service and a big, save-the-world mission here. Of course he’d come back.
“Carter,” he said, reaching out to grasp her shoulder. He waited until she made eye contact before speaking again. “You trust me, right?”
She frowned. “Of course, sir.”
Now that the sir was back, he hated that, too. “Okay. Then please trust me when I say that, no matter what I said on that planet, I’m exactly where I want to be. Right here.”
She searched his face, then blew out a breath and nodded. “Yes, sir.”
He looked at her for another moment, trying to figure out if she was agreeing with him or if she believed him. Finally, as satisfied as he was going to get, he nodded back. “And one more thing.” He took another step towards her and wrapped her in a hug. He wasn’t sure it was the right thing to do until she let out a sigh and wrapped her arms around him, returning the hug with equal force. “Thank you,” he murmured, without letting her go. “For everything you did to get me home.” It wasn’t enough. But it was a start.
“Anytime,” she said, her voice muffled against his chest. He heard the promise in the word. He closed his eyes briefly as the world righted itself, but the moment was over soon.
He stepped back, far more reluctant than he should have been, and she cleared her throat. “Thank Teal’c, too. He volunteered on what would have been a one-way trip on the chance that my theoretical science was right and the hope he could dig to the surface before he ran out of air.”
“Yeah, but his hugs aren’t as good as yours. He keeps telling me it’s his Goa’uld I’m feeling but I’m not so sure.”
She rolled her eyes, amused. “I’m serious. He didn’t even hesitate.”
Yeah, that sounded like Teal’c. Jack was touched, but not surprised. He looked at Daniel, who just shrugged. “Don’t thank me, I didn’t do anything. I’m happy you’re back, though.”
Jack snorted and turned back to Carter. “Go to the mess. Eat the biggest slice of pie you can find. Then get some sleep. That’s an order.”
She smiled faintly at him. “That’s alright, sir. I can take a second to wrap up things here and then head home for-“
“Ah!” he interrupted. “No way, Carter. Pie now. Then sleep. Here. Close enough that the Doc can check on you if necessary.”
“I’m fine, sir.”
The hell she was. “In fact, don’t come out of guest quarters for at least twelve hours. And I’m gonna keep your lab locked up so you can’t get in.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “Is this punishment for my insubordination?”
He smiled. “Call it what you want, Carter, but it’s an order.”
She started to leave when a thought occurred to him.
“Hey,” he called out. She half turned, eyebrows up in question. “Just because I’ll never understand the impressive science crap you pulled doesn’t make it less impressive. Don’t ever say it doesn’t matter.” She frowned at him in confusion, until he added, “Just don’t try to explain it to me. You know it makes my head hurt,”
Her expression cleared and she shook her head at him, flashing a brief but brilliant smile his way. He watched her go and then turned to Daniel.
“Scale of 1 to 10, how big of a jerk am I?”
Daniel paused, considering. “You were trapped on another planet for over 3 months with no way home, and no way of knowing if or how anyone would find a way to get you home. No one can blame you for starting to make a life for yourself there instead of wallowing over something you couldn’t change. Or for feeling conflicted about leaving the people you connected with there.”
Jack took a moment to absorb that. “Thanks, Daniel,” he said, surprised. “But?”
Daniel sighed. “But all Sam knew was that you were trapped on another planet. She worked past any reasonable breaking point for months on end to do what was, and I cannot stress this enough, impossible. And she spent the whole time beating herself up for not doing it faster. For making you wait. It took a toll on her. And you just… brushed it all aside like none of it mattered. It hurt me to watch, and I was just a bystander.” Jack winced, but Daniel just shrugged. “You were probably right to take a moment to speak to Laira but... Well. I’m glad you talked to Sam.”
So, kind of a jerk, but could be worse. He could make it up to Carter. Jack smiled and clapped him on the back. “Thanks, Daniel. I really am glad to be back.”
“Good,” said Daniel. “I’m happy to hear it.”
*
Weeks later, Sam saluted as she watched Jack go through the Stargate, one last time. It was a heartfelt gesture of respect for everything he had been to her, to the SGC, and to the planet for the past 3 years. It was more than she could put into words, even if her heart was breaking a little bit. But, as he paused on the ramp without looking back, she couldn’t help but wish he’d gone back to Edoras when she’d suggested it the first time.