Chapter Text
"Change is inevitable, and our fear of it doubly so. We will experience it in our lives. It is a part of the Elemental condition. In an ideal coming of age, our guardians equip us with the appropriate tools to deal with it, though it depends on one's upbringing. You'll face it regardless, and when you do, you'll learn when to stand in defence or yield the sword and let the bridge down.
If not? Well, heh- you can't play a flamin' hot game of chess without moving a piece forward.
In your case, what happened during that fateful week was merely part of the Elemental condition; the transition into adulthood. Understanding the weight of responsibility, building discipline, and healthy habits, all the while dealing with your emotions. Yet, funnily enough, the latter is the one most struggle with.
We find it easy to do 'important stuff' like having a work ethic, but love, happiness, and purpose. They're treated as 'temporary escapes via external validation'. That is until life gives you a reality check by picking you up by the face and throwing you to the ground. That is when you're faced with your real enemy...
Anger.
Whatever form that comes in, be it stress, frustration, anxiety, self-deprecating thoughts, or a throttling sensation to burn everything on sight. At rare times, it's glorious! However, 95% of the time, it's a result of our deepest insecurities rearing their head into the fray.
Anger is a window to a soul at its most vulnerable.
Hence why we're here.
I am to equip you with tools to recognize anger - to say it out loud, to control what you can of it, and to accept that it will always be with you. Anger isn't something that can simply be eradicated, so you need to learn how to channel it in a way that won't harm yourself or others, and that starts with small - excruciatingly small steps.
Do you understand?"
. . .
Tick, tock, tick, tock went an antique clock on the wall. A tense silence spoke loud - deafening, it's call. The room was comfortable yet sterile all the same, with an eerie, slithering whisper past the ear of "there's no shame."
A gentleman of fire sat with glasses, a clipboard and a stabbing stare, prodding, prodding the poor fire girl to share. Her fiery fingers gently wrapped around her opposite elbow. Usually, these kinds of talks were a lot easier with her beau.
Alas, her free hand balled into a fist, clenching with tense might. In her chest, a fiery chamber, responding fight-or-flight. Like a dragon breathing fire into a balloon, her stomach flexed in and out with an exhale, strewn.
She finally spoke up to the gentleman's demand...
"Yeah. Yeah- I understand."
This wasn't coming from an elemental who wanted to be there. But, she had to. It was for 'the necessity of the job', or however Lin put it. She couldn't quite recall that. All she could was 'Go to anger management to keep a job, underlying tones of Elementism', yadda-yadda. What she failed to realise was that she had a public outburst, which endangered several lives in the process and prompted a city-wide hunt for her.
So perhaps anger management could help.
"You have a tinge of hesitation in your speech," the therapist spoke.
The little flame lady could tell her stress was getting to her, as could her on-the-ball therapist. One leg of hers crossed over the other, feet pointed outward.
"Yes. I understand," she responded.
The therapist pursed his lips, his brows furrowing. He looked to Ember, leaning forward.
"Talk to me about that time, and how it's affected you," he asked.
"That time? Whew. Well...
A bunch happened.
I thought it was over; my career, my relationships, everything. It felt like I was back to square one. I felt like I did before I met him. Things felt like they were getting good, and then they weren't.
Like, why does life do that? Why does it take order and stability and push it over?!"
The therapist twiddled his pencil around, jotting down some notes.
"I noticed you delivered that last sentence with more aggression than before. Whyis that?" the therapist queried.
Ember went to pour herself out before briefly pausing in hesitation.
"I just ... every time something good happens, and I feel like everything is finally okay... it's not. It's worse all over again, and I can't do a thing about it. I can't help but feel... ugh! I want to burn everything in sight when that happens!" she exclaimed.
As she let herself go, the therapist took a long breath, writing more notes down. Ember looked over at him, stressed and vulnerable. He looked his notes over for a time, teasing, eating at Ember's composure.
"Right," he said.
He put his notepad in his lap, nodding to himself and giving Ember his full attention.
"Okay, Ms Lumen. I'm going to ask you some challenging questions now. Please stop me if you get uncomfortable." he said.
Slightly confused by the request, Ember raised an eyebrow, mouth slightly agape.
"Okay?" she slurred.
"In one of these scenarios where you've found yourself feeling threatened, do you stop to think that your reaction could be the problem?" the therapist asked.
Ember looked up at her therapist with a thorough look of confusion, offended even.
"Huh?" she sounded.
The therapist got up from his chair, and began to pace the room.
"It's a legitimate, inoffensive question. Do you?" he reiterated.
"I- I guess, I-" Ember stammered.
"Because coming from past client's experience, it seems to me that this has happened on multiple occurrences." he went on.
"Multiple occurrences? I-" she stammered again.
"Perhaps you find yourself clinging to hostile tendencies in times of stress to make yourself feel strong." he reckoned.
"Clinging- what?" she put in frustration.
"Look, let's face it, fire people who come into my office; their issues are similar. Their anger did this, or it did that." he blabbered.
"F- Fire people?" she retorted.
"Are you angry, Ms Lumen?" he pressed.
"I- I don't -" she stammered.
"People of fire have trouble controlling aggressive tendencies. Empirical evidence has shown that time and time again." he escalated.
"Empirical evidence - you have no clue what you're talking about." she disagreed.
"Do you feel angry as I tell you this, Ms Lumen?" he queried.
"Can you please -" she began.
"Does this endless barrage of questioning anger you?" he questioned.
"Well, objectively, yes." she retorted.
"Ms Lumen -" he began.
The therapist stopped in his spot. He leaned down to Ember's level, starting at her face. She wore an angered look on her face; jaw clenched.
"Ms Lumen, are you angry?" he pressed again.
Ember's jaw began to slack, and she shook her head slightly.
"What is going on?" she said, a tinge of vulnerability in her tone.
"It's a simple question. Are you angry?" he pressed once more.
"Y- yeah, a little -" she stammered.
"What about now?" he pressed further.
"Still a bit-" she began.
"Or now? Does my interrupting make you angry?" he pressed sharply.
Ember paused, looking at the therapist directly and angrily.
"Yes. It does." Ember sharply put.
In rising tension, the therapist swiftly rose to his feet again, pacing around. He could tell he was getting to her.
"Miss Ember Lumen, born in Fireland, I presume?" he exclaimed.
Ember remained in silence, seething, staring with a sharpening frown.
"Tssk-tssk. Spoken from experience, Firish people especially don't take too kindly to criticism." he pushed.
Appropriately, Ember scoffed at her therapist's prodding comment.
"...so it makes sense that, compared to other fire nationalities, their culture is considered to lack diversity." he continued.
"Watch it." Ember snarled.
"So, are you feeling angry now?" the therapist pressed.
Ember began to clench her fists by her sides, her teeth showing.
"Yeah. I'm feeling pretty angry right about now." she expressed sternly.
"Perhaps now?" he continued.
"Yup. I'm still pretty mad." Ember escalated.
"How about now?" he escalated
"Yup. Angry." Ember growled.
The therapist leapt to his feet, meeting Ember face-level close.
"Miss Ember Lumen, of Fireland, are you angry?!" he yelled.
Having had enough, Ember's flames raged as she too leapt to her feet, arms straight behind her back.
"YES!" Ember screamed.
She let out an explosion, splitting atoms from their nuclei in thorough fury. The noise was deafening. But for poor, angry Ember, all she saw was red, and a thick cloud of black smoke that slowly dissipated.
As the smoke cleared, Ember's chest flexed sharply and quickly like a metal sheet.
"Yes- I'm angry now. Is that what you wanted to hear?!" Ember yelled.
As she came to, she expected outcry and a stabbing utterance of 'get out!' from the poor therapist.
However...
None of that came for some reason.
In fact...
Nothing had changed at all.
She stood in disbelief and looked around, unable to grasp what she saw.
The room was the same as it was before. No trinket, memento or keepsake moved an inch. It was like nothing happened.
Ember faced the spot where the therapist was standing, angered and confused out of her mind.
"What the?" she murmured.
RRRRING!
A sharp ring rattled Ember, causing her flames to distort in shock. She looked over to the left at the source of the noise. Sat back in his chair, holding an antique stopwatch in the air, the therapist shut it off.
"Unfortunately, our hour is up, Ms. Lumen," he told calmly.
Ember looked at him with a big ol' SHC sandwich; shock, hostility, and confusion. As she ate away, the therapist stood up gently, his hands held at his core in a non-threatening manner.
"I will see you next week." the therapist said.
"What just happened?" she queried forcefully.
The therapist gave Ember an incriminating smile as he handed her her bag, itching at her composure as he ushered her toward the door.
"You didn't stop me once," he said, tilting his head.
Ember looked around the place as she was shuffled along, still unable to grasp what was going on. She looked at a poster on the wall whilst on the move. Pictured was a fire person letting go of a rock, with a text above it that read "Don't hold it. Let it go." She slowly realised what happened, lapsing into a frustrated groan.
She gently turned to her therapist, pointing a thumb behind her at the poster.
"Mm- yup. I see it now." she delivered unenthusiastically.
The therapist slowly walked past her and opened the room's door.
"Simple mistake," he said.
She stopped at the door with her arms folded and rolled her eyes.
"Don't worry about it. We'll speak about that in length next session," he said.
Ember chortled with slight aggression, turning to make her way out.
"M-kay. Thanks, Dr. Chillout." Ember thanked, slightly passive-aggressively.
"Ah- it's pronounced She-low. It's Frensch." Dr Chillout said.
Ember stopped at the doorway, letting out an exasperated groan.
"Of course it is." she sassed.
"Yes-yes. Firish, I assume?" he queried.
She turned her head to Dr Chillout with a flat expression.
"Yes, Doctor," she said in a sarcastic tone.
"Right. Well, Frensch is pretty much the same as Firish, but it's a richer demographic." Dr Chillout continued.
Ember pursed her lips, shaking her head slightly.
"Are you done?" she sassed further.
Dr Chillout began to chuckle, opening the door wider for Ember.
"Heh- yes, Ms Lumen. I'd like not to start another revolution." he joked.
Ember let out her fakest laugh imaginable.
"Hah- a revolution joke. N- nice." she put with further sarcasm.
Before she could walk out and leave - which she was beyond keen to do - the therapist put a hand on her shoulder.
"I do apologise for the testing exercise. We had to establish a threshold," he said.
Ember stopped and bruxed her teeth with a half-angered, forced smile.
"No- no. It's fine. I- I'm used to it," she accepted.
Chillout proceeded to let out another bright, incriminating smile at Ember.
"Well, good! We'll see you next time. Have a lovely day," he said joyously.
Ember looked at him over her shoulder, tugging at her bag in discomfort.
"'Kay. See you next time, Doc." she said, rather unenthusiastically.
...and with that, the luckiest flame left the room. Her first anger management session went differently than she'd assumed. A chill crept its way up her shoulder where her bag was slung, causing her to grip it tightly as it hung. Though she tried to keep her composure, as she walked, it began to unfurl. As she walked, she thought to herself...