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Izuku is desperate. Completely and utterly inconsolable. He had been so happy a few hours ago, laying on the forest's floor and kissing his Kacchan like there was no tomorrow. And alas, there will be no tomorrow. If he had known, he would have never followed Katsuki in that forest for their date.
Katsuki and Izuku know each other from childhood. Their mothers were friends and through them, they met immediately after Izuku was born. Since then, to their mothers' joy, they were inseparable. Inko and Mitsuki thought they could raise their boys like brothers but they soon found out that their plan wouldn't work when they caught six year olds Katsuki and Izuku kissing innocently on the lips. Their mothers were horrified and tried to scold them, telling them that only people who were in love with each other could kiss like that. But Izuku insisted that he did love Katsuki and wanted to marry him when he would be older. Katsuki, on his part, only glared at his mother and his auntie before grabbing Izuku and placing a big smooch on his friend's lips.
Even more horrified, Mitsuki tried to explain to them that only boys and girls could love each other like that and not boys and boys. At that, Izuku burst into tears while Katsuki kicked his mother's shin with tears in his eyes that he refused to let fall. It broke Inko's heart to see them so distressed, so she decided to convince Mitsuki to let their sons be together. Mitsuki was scared but she agreed with Inko. The two mothers then explained to the boys that they could only kiss in front of them and never in front of others. Izuku accepted immediately, happy to be allowed to be with his Kacchan. It took a bit more of convincing for Katsuki who didn't understand why and wanted everyone to stay away from his Deku but in the end accepted after Izuku insisted that it was a good deal.
Which brings them to today. Izuku and Katsuki are both respectively nineteen years old and love each other more than ever. Earlier today, Katsuki offered Izuku to go on a a picnic with him as a date. Izuku, high on love and confident from years of not being caught, immediately accepted. They decided to hide in the forest, the same glade they always go to to be alone that they had found when they were eleven years old. They ate some bread and cheese along with delicious strawberries for the dessert. They cuddled and laughed, telling each other everything that had happened at their work. Izuku worked as an alchemist under his father Yagi while Katsuki also worked with his parents but as a dressmaker. They were both going to inherit their parents' business and they loved what they were doing. But it won't be the case anymore.
Then Katsuki finally kissed him and there weren't only butterflies around them but also in their stomachs. Izuku laid down on the pelts they used to sit on the floor without soiling their clothing and Katsuki followed him, never separating their lips for a moment. They kissed and kissed for what seemed to be hours but were only a few minutes. They were so engrossed in each other that they didn't hear the sound of hooves approaching them and that was what caused their downfall.
Tomura Shigaraki, second in command of their Lord All For One, surprised them in their lip-locking and immediately arrested them for acts of homosexuality. Izuku and Katsuki had learned at thirteen years old why they were only allowed to kiss in secret or in front of their parents. Homosexuality is forbidden in their village and is punishable by death.
Before they knew it, they were both thrown in a cell and have been waiting since then for someone to tell them what would happen to them. But Izuku knows. And he knows that Katsuki also knows. They are going to die.
A few hours after their arrest, someone finally enters the dungeons. It is All For One himself. He walks to their cell with an evil smirk and tells them:
"You're lucky that we don't have enough cells to separate you, you deviants. But you won't stay long here, anyway. Since I am merciful, I will allow you to see one person each before your public death tomorrow."
"Merciful, my ass! You're just a cruel motherfucker who gets off on others' pain!" spits Katsuki with venom.
"I would be careful with that tongue of yours. I might just change my mind and kill you right now without letting you say your goodbyes." answers All For One calmly.
Katsuki was about to let out another bouts of insults but Izuku put a hand on his shoulder.
"Kacchan, please. Don't you want to see one of your parents one last time?"
Katsuki doesn't answer but stays silent all the same. All For One rolls his eyes at the display before asking who they want to see before dying. Katsuki chooses his mother, having had another fight with her yesterday and not wanting to leave her in bad terms. Izuku decides to Katsuki's surprise and jealousy to see his best friend Shouto Todoroki, not wanting to see his parents cry because of him. All For One promises to bring them soon and finally leaves them alone.
As soon as the door closes, Katsuki rounds up on Izuku and snarls:
"Why did you choose that Half-and-Half bastard?! What about your parents?!"
Izuku sighs, having expected a reaction like this one.
"Kacchan, you know he's just my best friend. You're the one I love! And I don't want to see my parents cry. Please, Kacchan. I don't want to fight on the last day we have together." pleads Izuku while taking one of his boyfriend's hands.
Katsuki looks down in guilt before kissing his lover's knuckles.
"You're right, I'm sorry."
They cuddle for a little while on the cold hard floor, waiting for the arrival of their visitors. It doesn't take long before the door to the dungeons opens once again, letting in this time two guards escorting Shouto and Mitsuki. The guards, one male with dark blue hair and glasses and one female with brown hair and round pink cheeks, stay in front of the door, letting the two visitors running towards the cell. Izuku on the opposite side of the cell as his boyfriend for privacy smiles with difficulty at his friend. For someone else, Shouto wouldn't look affected at all, stone faced and serious, but Izuku can see the sorrow hidden in his friend's heterochromatic eyes.
"Hi..." greets Izuku with sadness.
"Hello, Izuku. I am really sorry that this happened to you. I promise, I will save you two."
"No, Shouto. It's impossible to trick All For One like that and you know it. I don't want to risk your life too."
"I am prepared to make that sacrifice." retorts Shouto seriously.
Izuku shakes his head.
"No, I refuse. Promise me you won't try anything." insists Izuku.
"But-"
"Promise me!"
Shouto sighs.
"Fine, I promise."
The green haired male's lips quirk up in a pained smile.
"Thank you. And I have one last request." says Izuku.
"Anything."
"Promise you won't watch our execution."
"Izuku-"
"Please, Shouto. I don't want you to see that. This is traumatic."
"It's already traumatic to see you here, knowing I won't ever see you again."
Izuku looks down, ashamed.
"I'm sorry, Shouto. It was selfish of me to ask you to come here."
"It isn't selfish at all. I shouldn't have said that, it gives the wrong impression. I don't blame you."
Before Izuku can answer, the blue haired guard comes to the cell and says:
"Time's up! Say goodbye now, because we have to escort you out now."
Shouto turns back one last time to his friend.
"I will respect your wishes and stay at home for your execution. I will miss you, Izuku." he says, one tear finally escaping the grey eye of his friend.
"Goodbye, Shouto." murmurs Izuku, watching his friend being escorted by the girl while Mitsuki is followed by the man.
The door closes behind them, leaving the couple alone once again. Katsuki approaches Izuku and takes his hand, leading him towards the bench carved in stone. The blond doesn't need to say anything as the green eyed male understands immediately his intentions. They sit down on the bench. Katsuki strokes Izuku's cheek tenderly. They kiss softly.
Izuku has always felt privileged to be the only one to see this side of Katsuki. The only one who can hold him. The only one who can kiss him. The only one who can make love to him. And now, this privilege will be taken from him. No more hugs. No more kisses. No more affection. In less than twenty-four hours, he will be dead. He will never see his Kacchan again. That thought freezes his heart in cold dread. No more Kacchan.
Tears start to leak from his eyes and a sob interrupts their kiss. Immediately, Katsuki wraps his arms around his boyfriend and he starts whispering reassuring words that Izuku can't understand above his crying. He strokes his green hair, kisses his temple. Katsuki was always bad at comforting people but he always makes an effort for Izuku. The green haired male loves him so much that it hurts. And he is going to lose him.
Letting out a pained wail, Izuku cries:
"I don't want to die!"
Katsuki shushes him gently, rocking him back and forth as if he were a baby.
"I won't let you die." promises Katsuki.
"You can't promise that, Kacchan. You know we're both going to die tomorrow." sobs Izuku, arms wrapped around the blond's neck.
He continues to cry softly in his Kacchan's arms who tries to comfort him the best he can by whispering soft words and stroking his hair. Soon enough, Izuku is on the verge of falling asleep and just as he is about to fall into the arms of Morpheus, he hears or at least thinks he hears Katsuki saying one last thing to him:
"We'll see about that."
•o°O°o•
Izuku is afraid. No, he is terrified.
Last night, after a four hour nap, Izuku woke up in his Kacchan's arms, the blond stroking is hair as if he had never stopped. Regretting his nap, Izuku sat up and started kissing his boyfriend for the last times. It was bittersweet but Izuku couldn't stop. He would enjoy his last hours with his boyfriend while he still could. His sweet kisses turned desperate and soon enough they were making out on the stone hard floor.
They made out for literal hours until the sun rose and as the first rays hit them, Katsuki finally pulled away. Izuku whined, following his lips with his but to no avail. Katsuki kissed his head before taking a pouch out from his pocket which was weird since they had been searched and stripped from all of their things. Handing Izuku the pouch, Katsuki whispered:
"Remember how I said that I wouldn't let you die?"
Izuku nodded, looking at the pouch confused.
"Well this powder will help you." explained the blond. "My mum gave it to me when she came to visit me. Sprinkle all the powder over your body."
Still puzzled but trusting his boyfriend whole heartedly, Izuku took the pouch from Katsuki and did as he said. The red eyed man smiled, clearly relieved.
"This powder will prevent you from getting burned and will teleport you to the safest place possible at the touch of flames. It's legit. Apparently, your dad made it."
Finally feeling a touch of hope filling his body, Izuku smiled before pulling his boyfriend into a kiss.
"Oh my God, I love you so much! Quick, put on some for yourself!" exclaimed the green haired man, excited.
Katsuki didn't move, only stroking his cheek softly with a sad smile. Izuku could feel his own smile slipping away, dread filling him in place of the hope.
"Kacchan?"
Taking his hands in his, Katsuki said in a soft voice:
"There was only enough for one of us."
All the blood drained from Izuku's face.
"Wha- But Kacchan, you can't do this! I can't live without you!"
Katsuki chuckled with all the pain in the world.
"Of course you can. Consider this my last gift to you." the blond murmured.
Before Izuku can protest, the doors to the dungeons slam open and in enter two guards. But this time, it isn't the two nice guards that brought their visitors. One of them is a blond girl with long canines and yellow unhinged eyes. The second guard is a man with burns all over his face, black hair and blue eyes. The scars are making Izuku panic even more, imagining his Kacchan end up like this and dying because of it.
They open the jail's door and Izuku is taken by the girl guard who is holding a knife behind his back to prevent Izuku from making a move except walking. He sees in the corner of his eye that his boyfriend was taken by the burnt guy, following behind the blond girl.
Izuku is now walking towards the middle of the village where everyone knows are held the death sentences. A crowd parts for them to pass, some villagers booing, insulting or spitting on Izuku and his boyfriend. One even throws a rock at Izuku's face, the sharp stone scratching his cheek, some blood trickling down his face. At that, Katsuki shouts at the culprit but is quickly silenced by his guard.
Soon enough, Izuku sees two stakes waiting for them and at the view of the second stake, Izuku starts to squirm and scream for his Kacchan, knowing that it is for his boyfriend and that he will die if no one does anything. He thrashes and bites while the girl tries to contain him. Done with his bullshit, the guard places her knife at his throat, ready to cut it.
"Deku, no! Please, don't make my efforts vain..." pleads Katsuki.
Izuku stops immediately, knowing that his boyfriend is right. But he can't stay there and do nothing while his boyfriend burns to death!
Before he knows it, Izuku is tied to the stake above a pile of straw ready to be burnt. With tears in his eyes, Izuku watches Katsuki being attached to the second stake. The green haired boy is now powerless and unable to save his boyfriend.
Suddenly, a voice booms in front of Izuku and the latter finally notices the chief, All For One, standing just in front of his stake, a lit torch in hand.
"My dear villagers, these two men, as you probably know, committed a huge crime! Yesterday, my second in command, Tomura Shigaraki, caught these felons kissing in the forest!" announces the Lord theatrically.
Gasps are uttered, booing ensues and insults are thrown once again. All For One lets the village express their disgust and outrage for a few minutes before lifting a hand, making the villagers go silent immediately.
"You all know what we do to homosexuals." continues All For One. "Those perverts defy the natural cycle of life, attack our children and defile them! We must protect ourselves and our children from those creatures of hell! That is why we're here!"
Izuku looks around, watches the crowd, and only sees familiar faces distorted in disgust and anger. Not one friendly face. Until he sees them. Katsuki's parents. His mom. His dad. All four of them are looking at Katsuki and himself with despair in their eyes. His mom probably can't see anything with how much she's crying and Izuku is glad for that. He doesn't want her to see that, even if Izuku will survive.
Oh, but Izuku doesn't want to survive without Katsuki by his side! If he hadn't made any promise to him, Izuku would die trying to protect his Kacchan from the flames. Tears start to pour down his cheeks, throat so tight that the sobs his body desperately wants to evacuate can't go past his throat.
The leader, All For One, approaches Izuku with his lit torch while the burnt man goes to Katsuki with another torch. With a manic smile, All For One muttered just loud enough for Izuku to hear:
"Goodbye, scum."
He lets go of the torch on the straws of Izuku's stake which starts to burn quite quickly. Even with the mysterious powder, the heat of the flames is burning on his skin. But not enough for it to hurt too much. As Izuku is starting to feel some prickles on his skin, he hears Katsuki starting to scream in agony. Knowing that it takes a lot for the blond boy to scream in pain, Izuku's head whips in the direction of his lover. He will never forget the view that meets him.
Katsuki thrashing against his bounds, hands already black by the fire's unforgiving licks and face red and starting to form blisters. Izuku lets out a scream and calls out Katsuki's nickname. Seeing him shaking and screaming that way is breaking the greenette's heart a second time today.
Struggling against the pain, Katsuki opens his oh-so-beautiful red eyes and looks right at Izuku. Just before the prickles begins tickling Izuku, the blond boy mouths an 'I love you'. The next second, Izuku can only see a familiar home and a familiar face, Katsuki having disappeared. Or more like Izuku disappeared.
"Izuku?! Wha- What are you doing here?" asks Shouto, approaching the trembling green eyed boy.
It's obvious that Shouto is still bombarding him with questions, mouth moving but no sounds reaching Izuku. His ears start ringing and Izuku can't see anything apart from Katsuki's face in his last moments.
•o°O°o•
A couple hours later, Shouto manages to bring Izuku back from his catatonic state. As soon as Izuku connects back with reality, ugly sobs come out of his mouth and it is through garbled words that Shouto finally hears the entire story of what has just happened. Horrified, the dual-toned boy can only hold Izuku in his arms while the latter cries his body weight in tears.
When he finally calms down, Izuku looks up at his friend and asks him:
"Can we go see if he's at the communal pit?"
"Izuku, people are probably searching for you, you can't go outside, not for a long while." Shouto refuses apologetically.
"Please, I'm begging you, Shouto! No one ever goes there, anyway."
"No, I'm sorry, Izuku."
The familiar stubborn glint flashes in Izuku's eyes.
"I need to see him. If you don't want to come with me, that's fine, but I will, whether you like it or not. And you can't stop me." Izuku retorts while getting up on shaky legs.
"Fine." Shouto sighs before helping his friend to steady himself.
They walk for a little while, hiding behind the line of trees so no one discovers to wanted greenette. They arrive only a few minutes later before a enormous hole in the ground where tons of decaying bodies rot. Izuku immediately recognizes the body of his lover and, despite his earlier shakiness, runs towards it. Kneeling before the blackened body, Izuku put a trembling hand on Katsuki's chest, looking for a mere sign of a heartbeat. But he can feel nothing, not even a flutter.
A sob comes out of Izuku's throat. Taking delicately Katsuki's body in his arms, he hugs it tightly against him while crying tears he didn't know he still had. Rocking back and forth, he stays there a few minutes, face buried in what is left of Katsuki's hair. Shouto puts a cold hand on Izuku's shoulder, making the latter lift his head up.
"I'm so sorry Izuku, but we should leave before someone finds us." Todoroki says softly.
Izuku kisses Katsuki's forehead one last time tenderly.
"I want to bury him." Izuku states as calmly as he can after his bout of crying.
Shouto sighs.
"Okay. Where?"
"In the forest. It was our favorite place." Izuku answers simply, voice tight.
"Okay." the heterochromatic boy repeats. "I'll lift him up and take him to the forest. While I do that, you can-"
"No. I'll take him there." Izuku insists.
"Izuku, you're in no state-"
"He saved my life, Shouto. And I love him. I need to do this." the green haired boy whispers stubbornly.
After a few moments of looking at each other in a silent argument, Shouto finally gives up.
"Fine. Wait here while I look for a shovel."
It didn't take long for the taller boy to find one and soon enough they take off towards the forest.
They dig a hole big enough for the blond's body and Izuku places it gently into it, leaving one lingering stroke on his cheek. They put the earth back where it belongs and Izuku places a rock on the makeshift tomb. One hand on the rock , Izuku starts talking softly, voice cracking here and there by the emotion:
"Katsuki Bakugou, Kacchan, my love. You were the most amazing person I've ever met. You were as beautiful outside as inside. Strong, clever, you could do anything you put your mind into. Your motto in life was just winning. It was just amazing how confident you were. I've always admired you, my love. Since we were in diapers, I couldn't help but look at you with stars in my eyes. You were my light, my sun, my universe. You were my Kacchan. And you'll always be my Kacchan. I love you so much, and I'll never stop, I promise you that. But Kacchan..."
At that, the sobs come back. Voice shaking so much it becomes almost incomprehensible, Izuku continues his speech, eyes looking at the sky:
"I don't know if I can keep my promise of continuing living. I've never known life without you and I don't want to know. You were always there by my side and I by yours. I understood what love was because I loved you. But what use do I make of love if you're not here with me? I don't want to do it, Kacchan."
Shouto looks at Izuku with sadness, fear gripping at his heart for Izuku's safety. Would the boy try to kill himself?
"But I'll try, Kacchan." the greenette continues. "For you, I'll try."
A cloud covers the sun, the forest becoming dark and ominous. Shouto hopes that it isn't a sign for a darker future.
•o°O°o•
Izuku is laying in his new bed, in Shouto's guest room. It has been days since Katsuki's death and he hasn't moved from the bed apart from going to the loo or, that one time guards went looking for him at Shouto's, in the secret hole beneath the floorboards in Shouto's bedroom.
Life was dull without Katsuki. Life wasn't worth living without Katsuki. The dual-toned boy tried multiple times to make him get out of his room to eat with him or to do an activity with him but to no avail. Izuku was completely apathetic to everything.
Knock knock.
Izuku doesn't even answer. Shouto, used to the lack of reaction, simply enters into the bedroom with a fuming plate of meat and gravy on a tray. He sits down on the edge of the bed and puts the tray on the bed, looking expectantly at the depressed boy. The latter sits down slowly before thanking his friend in a small unused voice. Shouto wordlessly gives the tray to Izuku and watches him eat for a little while.
"Izuku, you really have to get out of this bed. Come knit with me." Shouto offers softly.
Izuku simply shakes his head in negation. That makes Shouto sigh.
"Listen, I can't imagine what you're going through, but as your friend I can't let you waste away like this. You have to take care of yourself. Take a shower at least. I'm sure you'll feel better afterwards."
"I don't want to." the green eyed boy croaked.
Shouto sighs once again.
"I didn't want to use that card but you leave me no choice." the white and red haired boy mutters before turning more towards the boy who is still eating. "Do you think Katsuki sacrificed his life just for you to waste yours like you're doing right now? That's just disrespectful towards him."
Izuku stops eating. Looks up. Glares.
"You know I'm right." Shouto adds for good measure.
The green haired boy looks down once again, a tear rolling down his cheek. The bi-colored boy, heart breaking at the sight, opens his mouth to apologize but Izuku interrupts him:
"You're right."
Shouto blinks, surprised.
The depressed boy finishes his plate before finally getting up and walking towards the kitchen to wash up. His friend only followed him silently, shocked that his tactic has worked. Izuku leaves Shouto for the bathroom and the latter just stands there until the other boy gets out of the shower.
"So...about that knitting..." Izuku trails off.
Shouto smiles, relieved.
•o°O°o•
Despite the months that have passed since Katsuki's death, Izuku was still very depressed. On the bad days, he would lock himself in his room to cry for hours on end. On the good days, he would get out of his room but still rarely smiled. Shouto is very worried for his friend. That is why he hesitated to confess.
The youngest Todoroki met Izuku Midoriya very young, at around five years old. Of course, the green haired beauty was glued to Katsuki's side but Shouto hadn't been able to ignore the pull he felt towards him. Younger, it was just admiration and a need to be friends. But as they grew older and closer, those feelings morphed into romantic ones. Of course, he never tried anything, firstly because his father would have no qualms of giving him away to All For One for execution if he learned that his son liked a boy. Secondly, he knew very early on that Izuku had feelings for the hot-tempered blond that was always by his side. But Shouto was happy just being friends.
But now that Katsuki is dead and Izuku lives with him, Shouto's feelings only grew and it is becoming almost unbearable to hold them in. He also wonders if maybe having someone else to love will maybe help his friend. But he also doesn't to burden him with his feelings that might very well be unrequited.
But seeing his friend smile at him today, Shouto can't help but blurt it out:
"I love you."
Izuku's smile fades and his eyes widen in shock. A tense silence installs itself between the two friends.
"What?" the green beauty asks softly.
"I'm sorry for blurting it out like this, it wasn't how I had planned it to happen." Shouto starts immediately to try and save himself. "I'm just so worried about you! You're always so sad when you deserve all the happiness this world can offer. Your smile is so bright and beautiful that I miss with how rarely you smile these days. I just hoped that maybe if you knew that someone loved you, that you had the possibility of loving once again, you feel better."
Izuku looks at Shouto with a profound sadness.
"I'm so sorry, Shouto, but we can only be friends. I'm still in love with Kacchan and I know I always will be. I'm not capable of loving anyone else. I'm sorry."
The taller boy can't help it, his heart breaks at the admission. He knew it could happen but he wasn't ready for the pain. But he has to ignore the pain because Izuku is looking at him with such sad eyes that he has to comfort the depressed boy. He is very fragile, Shouto knows that.
"It's okay, don't worry about it. I kind of expected it, to be honest. Just focus on getting better." he smiles.
"I'm sorry..."
"Don't be."
•o°O°o•
Izuku is a horrible person. Not only is he the cause of the death of the love of his life, but he also broke the heart of his only friend that is so loyal and kind to him. He is a horrible person.
"You're not a horrible person, stupid." says Kacchan's voice in his head.
That makes him smile. Kacchan has always been the best at giving words of comfort through insults.
Kacchan...
In another world, he would have married Kacchan and it would be accepted by others. In another world Kacchan would be alive and Izuku would be able to kiss him, to hug him, to laugh with him, to love him. In another world Izuku would be happy...
Until death do us part...
Izuku mentally snorts.
Until death do us part? Those people were fools or not truly in love if they believed that. Because no matter the months since his Kacchan's death, he still loves him more than anything. And life without him is a living nightmare he wants to stop having.
Izuku has never been depressed before. Those suicidal thoughts are new to him and they should terrify him. But they don't. There is nothing for him on this Earth, after all. This life is a waste without Kacchan. He wants to die. He needs to die. But he can't.
Shouto finds Izuku after work on the floor of his living room hyperventilating from crying too much. Quickly, he closes the door behind him and in two strides reaches his collapsed friend. He takes him in his arms, hugs him tight against him, rocks them gently. He sings lowly a lullaby to calm him down. But he doesn't seem to hear anything.
Izuku is vaguely aware that he is being held. Probably Shouto. But he can't care less. It hurts too much. Everything hurts. His heart the most. He gasps for air, his eyes burn from too much water leaking from them.
Kacchan. He wants Kacchan.
With a gasp, everything becomes black around him.
Shouto is still trying to comfort his friend when the latter suddenly stops moving. Everything stops so suddenly that he doesn't immediately notice that his friend isn't breathing anymore. But when he does, he panics. Shaking his friend, he calls his name repeatedly but he doesn't react. He looks for a pulse but finds none. Izuku is dead.
A wave of sudden sorrow engulfs him. Izuku, his friend, the only person he ever loved, has died.
For the first time since he was ten, sobs escaped Shouto's lips, shaking him from their strength. It is over. For better or for worse.