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Ryunosuke has lots of time to think on their way to London.
First, while he’s in Kazuma’s suitcase.
Then, while he’s in the wardrobe.
Which he often is.
Sometimes this causes his thoughts to wander, and he wonders if he’s crazy.
Sneaking along on this journey, simply because Kazuma asked him to.
Ryunosuke supposed… he didn’t like the idea of being apart from Kazuma.
He had worried about them parting ways, many times, before Kazuma proposed his plan to him.
And it did sound rather exciting, the two of them exploring a new land together, Ryunosuke getting to be there for every accomplishment Kazuma achieved…
And he supposed, Kazuma didn’t want to be apart from him, either.
Why suggest this outrageous idea otherwise?
An exceptional student, willing to risk everything for Ryunosuke - first with the trial, then with this.
Kazuma really was quite extraordinary.
Ryunosuke leans against the back of the wardrobe, his fingers idly playing with one of Kazuma’s shirts.
They say clothes make the man, don’t they?
So then, imagine it - sandwiched between his clothing, as if you too make up an important part of who he is.
It’s a thought too big to handle.
It’s dark in the wardrobe, naturally - dark and lonely, despite knowing Kazuma’s just outside.
Ryunosuke wishes the wardrobe didn’t stand in their way.
It’s not just the wardrobe though, is it?
There is a tangible distance they’ve yet to breach.
Somewhere between friend, partner, and I love you.
Something that’s too wonderful, too terrible to say aloud.
Suddenly, Ryunosuke sneezes. Twice in a row.
(What is it they say about sneezes? Once, someone’s saying good things about you.
Two… someone’s thinking about you. That’s nice, I suppose.)
Then, he sneezes a third time.
Ryunosuke freezes.
(Three… that means someone’s in love with you, doesn’t it?)
And Kazuma has wonderful timing, as he deems now a good time to open the wardrobe doors.
“Partner?” he says, a mix of concern and amusement on his face. “It isn’t too dusty in there, is it?”
“Oh, no,” Ryunosuke climbs out, eagerly taking the opportunity to stretch his legs. “I just… sneezed. For no reason at all.”
“Ah,” Kazuma nods sternly, as if this was the resolution to a particularly troubling mystery. “It’s funny when that happens. There’s some superstitions about it too, aren't there?”
“Yes,” Ryunosuke agrees, perhaps too fast, since the thought was just on his mind. “Do you remember how it goes?”
“Hmm…” he puts a hand on his chin. “One is… someone’s talking about you. Two… someone’s thinking about you. Three… someone’s in love with you. How’s that?”
“Yes, I think that’s about right.”
“You certainly sneezed a few times, partner. Do you know how many times?”
Some strange startled noise escapes Ryunosuke, and he tries to play it off as a thoughtful hum.
(I… I… I can’t. Now isn’t the right time, never mind implying he feels… that way about me.)
“Two times.” he lies, surprised at how easy it is to do.
“Oh…” Kazuma smiles, and pretends it’s all lighthearted, but Ryunosuke sees the disappointment behind it. He pauses for a moment, before looking in Ryunosuke’s eyes with an intense stare. “You’re sure? I could’ve sworn I counted three.”
“You think someone’s in love with me?” Ryuu attempts to laugh it off.
“It’s not so impossible,” Kazuma glances away. “I imagine it would be quite easy to fall in love with you.”
“O-oh?” he says with hitched breath.
They’re talking around it, like some beautiful, heartaching dance where they both know the song but won’t dare sing the lyrics.
“There’s something about you, Ryunosuke,” Kazuma sighs. “So earnest. Like someone could fall in love with you as if it were the most natural thing to do, without even realizing it until they’re asking you to travel across the world with them, because they can’t bear to be without you.”
“I…”
Kazuma is staring at the floor, his hachimaki unmoving.
Ryunosuke doesn’t know what to say - all but a direct admission of love has been spoken. Sure, they both knew it, he thinks. In some sort of way.
That their friendship wasn’t exactly just friendship anymore.
But to hear it confirmed… he’s stunned.
Yet he must find his voice somehow, tell Kazuma it isn’t just he who has fallen in love.
“You’re right. I sneezed thrice.” Ryunosuke admits.
Kazuma looks up, stares at him in alarm.
“And… well, partner. I’m surprised you didn’t sneeze three times too.”
Kazuma laughs, a sound of relief. “You mean, you think someone could fall in love with me? ”
“You are Yumei University’s pride and joy. It wouldn’t take much for someone to fall for you.”
“You flatter me.” Kazuma smiles sadly.
“No, really! In fact, I think… I think someone could be so intimidated by all your fierceness, all your glory, until they got to know you. And knowing you?” Ryunosuke grins awkwardly, ignoring the warmth of his face. “Knowing you would be the best thing they’d ever done. It would make them feel truly alive, and if you did ask them to become a stowaway to stay by your side, I wager they’d do it in a heartbeat.”
“It was quite a foolish thing to do, wasn’t it?” Kazuma says quietly. “Asking you to come with me.”
“Reckless, sure. But I don’t think it was foolish, partner. And I said yes, didn’t I? So what does that make me?”
“It would make you just as big of a fool as I, Ryunosuke.”
“So, there we have it,” he responds nervously. “Two fools, on their way to London.”
“Ryunosuke…” Kazuma sits down on the edge of his bed. “Join me here, won’t you?”
“Kazuma?” he questions, confused, but obliges immediately.
They sit in the silence a moment, taking it all in.
What was spoken, without really saying it.
I love you to the point of foolishness.
What now?
Do they dare acknowledge it? Or go on pretending as if their friendship is just friendship?
You’d think such a silence could destroy them, but it’s strangely comfortable.
Not far off from their normal, is it now?
Ryunosuke glances at Kazuma, just to catch his partner also glancing at him.
They laugh, and relax into normality.
But still… it’s on the tip of their tongues.
“If someone was in love with you,” Ryunosuke starts. “I imagine they might want to kiss you. If you’d be alright with that.”
Kazuma sighs fondly, a warm look in his eyes. “Depending on who it was, I might be alright with it.”
Ryunosuke knows what he’s doing now. Inviting him to say it, to really say it.
“Hm…” Ryuu pretends to think. “What if it was… your partner?”
“My partner?” Kazuma, in turn, pretends to be surprised. “Well, if it was you… I would be quite alright with it.”
“Then…” Ryunosuke takes a deep breath, summoning all his courage.
Somehow, this is scarier than defending himself in court was.
Maybe because Kazuma means so much to him.
But just as he managed to prove himself innocent in trial, here too Ryunosuke succeeds.
His lips meet Kazuma’s, and oh goodness, after so much talking around it, it feels incredible and hardly real to be kissing him.
They’re hungry, and selfish, to want each other this much, to want it all to themselves for eternity.
There’s a sense of relief in it though, to finally have undeniably admitted to their feelings.
Afterwards, Ryunosuke touches Kazuma’s arm - right where the armband he proudly wears is.
He’s reminded of his earlier thoughts about clothes.
(If clothes make the man… I wish I could wear something to show how much you mean to me, partner.)
Kazuma smiles at him. “Showing it on your face is enough, partner.”
“You know what I meant!”
“Hah… well, maybe someday you can.”
“Hmm… someday…”
It’s an empty promise, they both know it.
Their love will remain in the silence, in the dark, in the inbetweens.
Nothing can change that.
But still. It’s nice to imagine a day where Ryunosuke can wear something of Kazuma’s, and maybe even Kazuma can wear something of his.
Someday, beyond all the pain that would follow, beyond taking Kazuma’s armband and wearing it, all that was left of a man he’d loved…
They will sit together in their garden, their children running around with carefree energy.
And Ryunosuke will look down at their intertwined hands, at the rings they subtly wear - that they’d exchanged when they said “I do”.
Something of Kazuma’s that he wears, something of his that Kazuma wears.
And he’ll smile, because every moment of his life has been worth it, from talking around their love to losing it to fighting to get it back and finally, eventually, where they are now.
Ryunosuke’s nose tingles. He sneezes.
Once. Twice. Three times.
Kazuma leans over, grinning. “Partner… I think someone’s in love with you.”
“Well… if there were such a someone, I’d request they kiss me. Right now. To show their love.”
Kazuma gently kisses his cheek, then his lips.
Ryunosuke sighs in bliss.
“Ah… I love you, partner.”
“If the sneezes weren’t reminder enough… I love you too, Ryunosuke.”