Chapter Text
There was something so cruelly familiar about Sonic's eyes. The glint, the shine, the way they sparkled in the sunlight—those eyes of his carried a weight that Shadow couldn’t quite place. He had seen them before. That gnawing sense of recognition was undeniable. The eyes, green as the plains that the blue blur hailed from, were torturing him. He'd never known anyone with green eyes, not one person, so why was that sick familiarity there?
It wasn't until seeing Sonic in low, cold lighting that he saw the slight hints of blue that that green carried.
Oh no. No, no no.
He wasn’t sure why it bothered him so much. Shadow was no stranger to strange feelings—he had learned to live with his new life. Maria’s face would never fade in his mind. A ghost. The ghost of his first, and closest, friend. Maria. Her name alone was enough to chill him to his core, where it would haunt him forever. And now, those eyes, these eyes that belonged to his eternal rival, Sonic... they were so familiar.
Shadow hated it. The way his stomach twisted when Sonic looked at him, as if he could reach into Shadow's very core and rip out something buried deep inside. Those eyes were too much like Maria’s. Too pure, too filled with gentleness, but not quite bright enough to mask the deep undertones of exhaustion they both had constantly carried.
It was when Sonic looked at him like that, those bright eyes full of kindness and sincerity—the sort of thing that Shadow didn't deserve—that Shadow had to look away. He couldn’t look at him for too long, it made the memories start itching and burning again, memories of when Maria’s laughter filled the sterile halls of the ARK, just him and her against the universe, damning any adults who tried to make them settle for even a second.
Sonic always had this certain... familiarity about him. It wasn’t just the eyes. It was everything. Every time Sonic moved, every flick of his wrist, the way he held his posture, so casual and confident, yet strangely vulnerable. The way he hunched over to eat, or how he’d twitch in his sleep when napping. Sonic's overall demeanor was all too reminiscent of someone Shadow would never forget.
Her.
Maria Robotnik.
Fifty-four years ago. Maria, her voice always bubbly and happy, even on days she was too weak and shaky to even move her own wheelchair. She had always been so full of warmth, so open to the world and the people around her. Everything about Maria was a stark contrast to Shadow. Her laugh, her touch—so gentle, so human—had once soothed his nightmares and quivers that came after long hours of tests from the scientists aboard the ARK. He remembered, sometimes Maria would be sent a treat from Earth. Not always food, sometimes new clothes or a toy, but more often than not, her favourite gift... Flowers.
He remembered her squeal when she'd open the package, and then the subsequent hours she'd spend weaving the chemically preserved daisies into flower crowns. Oh, she'd had so many
It had been her gentle hands, placing a stack of crowns on his head when he was no older than a few months, that had made him feel as though maybe, just maybe, he could be something more than the weapon G.U.N had created.
And then, Maria was gone. Taken from him too soon, ripped from her beautiful, still blooming life by a force that was supposed to protect and defend.
Maria had died in his arms. A death he could never undo. He had tried to bring her back. He had failed. He still remembered his final attempt at bringing her back, holding her hands for the last time in that void, touching his forehead to hers...
But now, there was Sonic.
And Sonic had those same eyes, albeit... hueshifted. Sonic moved the same way. Sonic had the same warmth, that carefree yet earnest smile that Maria used to wear. The same little quirks, the way he would mutter to himself when he was deep in thought, the way he tapped his fingers rhythmically when he was anxious. Even his sneeze, loud and unashamed, reminded Shadow of days when Maria wasn't so sick she could hardly move.
It was hell. It was hell because Shadow had tried for so long to bury Maria’s memory deep, to separate the pain from his life. He had tried to sever all connection to her, to accept that she was gone.
But here was Sonic, being so much like her that it sometimes made Shadow's stomach hurt, and every day, Shadow was reminded of all the things he had lost.
It wasn’t that Sonic was a constant reminder of Maria, though. No, it was something more. Something deeper.
When Sonic was around, Shadow would find himself... softening. And that was the problem. Because when Sonic looked at him with those too-bright eyes, and spoke to him with that unshakable optimism, something inside Shadow would begin to twist. It was like being tugged toward the past, a past that left him broken, lost, and angry, the one he promised Maria he'd try to let go of. He hated feeling that pull.
There were days—rare days, when he couldn’t quite control.his own chaotic emotions—when Sonic’s presence would remind him of Maria so strongly that his heart would ache in a way it hadn’t in years. Sonic wasn’t Maria, but damn it—he was the closest thing Shadow had to her. In those moments, he didn’t know whether to curse him or... thank him.
"Shadow, dude, are you alright?" Sonic’s voice broke him out of his trance, snapping him back to reality. The hedgehog was standing in front of him, eyes wide with concern.
Shadow didn’t answer at first. He couldn’t. How could he explain that every time Sonic looked at him, every time Sonic smiled or tripped or shook his head, it was like watching her get shot all over again?
"I’m fine," Shadow muttered, his voice a little rougher than usual.
Sonic didn’t seem convinced. Of course he didn’t. Sonic never did leave things well enough alone. And in some strange way, Shadow was thankful for Sonic’s insistence on being near him. He just needed to be close to someone.
"Whatever you say, Shadow," Sonic said, his voice light as ever, but with that same edge of concern. "Just remember you don’t have to do everything alone, alright?.. As much as I pick on you, I don't hate you. And if you don't wanna talk to me, you have... everyone. No one's gonna be annoyed by you needing to talk."
Shadow felt a lump in his throat, and for a moment, the world seemed to quiet. That kindness. The gentleness. The genuineness. For a minute, it was like he could hear her voice again, whispering through Sonic’s words.
Shadow sighed, and nodded. "Thank you. I don't ... hate you either.
Sonic smiled, eyes kind, but tired. A look Shadow remembered all too well from when Maria was sick.
"Are you alright?" Shadow asked, figuring he'd may as well return the checking-up favor.
"Fine, just... tired. And sore. I'm quilling again, which means lots and lots of achey head and back... I'm gonna go to bed early tonight, I slept so badly last night."
Shadow smirked, eyes raking over the clearly exhausted Sonic. "I thought the amazing Sonic never did anything badly."
Sonic shot a glare at him, shaking his head with a smile. "Shut up, dude ..."
They didn't speak after that. The two just sat there, soaking up the last rays of light before the sun dipped below the horizon.
Shadow didn't want to go home. Sonic left, he didn't know what time, but Shadow laid down in the soft blades of green grass, looking up at the stars. The same ever-twinkling stars he'd watch with Maria.
He let out a sigh, letting his arm fall out at his side.
Something brushed against it, and he turned his head to see what had touched him.
God, if this wasn't some sign from the universe, what was?
A single daisy. Just one. With one shed blue quill right next to it.
Shadow choked, letting out one strangled sound between a whimper and a gasp.
He needed to talk to Sonic.