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Buck white knuckled the steering wheel of his Jeep as he stared through the windshield at Bobby and Athena's house, a multitude of conflicting thoughts and emotions creating a tumultuous storm inside his mind. He didn't know how long he'd been sitting there in their driveway staring up at their house but considering that the sun was nearing close to the horizon, Buck figured it had probably been at least half an hour.
He could honestly barely even remember driving over to Bobby and Athena's. One minute he was leaving Eddie's place after spending a couple of hours helping him with relators and virtual showings, fully intent on returning back to his apartment, and the next he was pulling into the driveway of his surrogate parents' home.
After a few more minutes of internal struggle, Buck was suddenly pulled from his whirling thoughts when there was a knock on the driver side window. He startled, hands flying off the steering wheel as he whipped his head to see who it was. He relaxed, however, when he saw that it was Bobby.
"Buck, what's going on? Are you alright?" Bobby's voice was muffled by the glass separating them, but Buck could still clearly hear the concern that carried through his words.
Buck just responded with a jerky nod of his head, before motioning to Bobby that he was going to open the door.
"H-hey, bobby. I, uh, I'm sorry I didn't call b-before I showed up. I... I didn't even plan on coming over, to be honest with you. I-it just sort of, um, happened," Buck said once he climbed out of the car.
"Hey, no. No apologies, Buck. You're always welcome here," Bobby responded, his voice was firm but still held that node of warmth that only a parent could convey. "Come on, let's go inside and you can tell me what happened."
Buck shouldn't have been surprised that Bobby already knew that something was up, yet he still found himself taken aback by the man's words.
"What, I–when did I say something happened?"
"It's written all over your face, kid." Buck opened his mouth to refute, but Bobby gave him a look and held up a hand before he even had the chance to. "Ah, nope. I know you like the back of my hand, Buck. Don't even try denying it."
Buck easily relented with a sigh, not having the energy or the desire to really argue.
"Come on." Bobby motioned his head towards the house and wrapped an arm around Buck's shoulders. "Let's go."
Buck let Bobby lead him inside. He happily leaned into the older man's side as they walked up the pathway to the front door, already starting to feel the all too familiar fog of his little headspace threatening to overwhelm him.
"Is 'Thena home?"
"No, she's still on shift for another five hours."
That at least made Buck feel a little less guilty about showing up here unannounced, knowing he hadn't interrupted their time evening together.
Entering the living room, Bobby guided Buck to sit down on the couch with him.
"Alright, spill."
"Wow, right into it, huh? You're not even gonna ask if I want water or coffee or something first?"
Buck's attempt at making light of the situation clearly fell flat when all he received in response from the other man was a raised eyebrow.
"Okay, okay. Fine, I'll talk."
Buck inhaled and exhaled a slow, deep breath before he began to speak again.
"I, uh... I found out today that... that Eddie is looking into moving back to Texas soon. An–and I get why!" Buck was quick to add before Bobby got the wrong idea. "I do. He wants to be closer to Chris. Any good father would. It's just... I already lost Tommy, the man I–" His voice cracked, throat growing tight and forcing him to take a brief pause.
"The man I thought I had a real future with–the man that I... I fell in love with," Buck continued, furiously blinking his eyes against the tears that threatened to fall. "Now, what? I'm just supposed to accept that I'm about to lose my best friend, too? I–I don't know if I can lose another person I love, Bobby."
Buck swallowed thickly and bit the inside of his bottom lip to stop it from quivering. He was, however, unable to prevent a lone tear from slipping down his right cheek.
"It's... it's just... it's not fair! Wh-why does everyone I love just end up leaving me in the end? Am I still not good enough? I don't understand!"
Buck finally felt himself break. Tears started to run down his face like an out of control faucet, which was quickly followed by an almost painful sob tearing itself from his throat.
"I'm so tired of being left behind!" He cried out before bursting into full blown, guttural sobs.
The next thing Buck knew, he was being pulled into the familiar strong and warm embrace of the man he saw as his true father. He immediately wrapped his arms around Bobby's torso and grabbed two fistfuls of the older man's dark red polo, burying his face into the crook of his neck as he continued to sob uncontrollably: finally letting out all of sadness and pain he'd been pushing down and distracting himself from since the night Tommy broke up with him.
Bobby just held him and let him cry it all out, periodically running a gentle hand from up and down his heaving back to his curly hair.
It was when Buck's crying went from wailing sobs down to whimpers and the occasional hiccupping breath, that Bobby finally spoke.
"No one is leaving you behind, kiddo. Even if Eddie does decide to move back to Texas, that doesn't mean he's going to stop being your best friend. It just means that your friendship will be a little different. You'll still to call and text him, video chat, and both of you will still be able to visit each other from time to time. And you'll still have the rest of your family here with you–because none of us are going anywhere any time soon if we can help it, that I can promise you." Bobby went silent for a moment before going on. "As for everything with Tommy... well, only time will tell if this is really the end, end. I meant what I said those months ago about him being good people. So, while I can't promise you anything there, I will say don't give up hope just yet. I should have told you that a lot sooner, and I should have seen just how deeply this break up had affected you far sooner, too. For that, I'm so sorry, Buck."
Buck felt Bobby press a kiss to the crown of his head.
"Don't gotta be sorry," Buck mumbled into the man's neck, sniffling in attempt to stop his snot from staining Bobby's skin more than it already had.
"Yes, I do. But we can talk more about that later. Right now, I think you need some little time."
Buck stubbornly shook his head, even though his brain screamed at him that he wanted that more than anything in this moment.
"Sorry, bud, but this is nonnegotiable tonight. This is also something I should have offered much sooner, too. You need some time away from all of your adult thoughts for a bit. Even if it's just for tonight. Okay?"
As much as Buck wanted to tell Bobby that he didn't need to resort to regression every time something emotionally taxing or traumatic happened to him, he knew the man would see right through a lame argument like that. Besides, he really did not possess the energy or will to argue tonight. So, with that final adult thought, Buck allowed the fog in his head spread to the rest of his brain.
" 'Kay, daddy."
"Atta boy." Buck could hear the smile in his daddy's voice. "I'm so proud of you."
Buck's mouth quirked into the tiniest of smiles at the older man's praise.
"How about we get you undressed and then have some dinner? What do you say, kiddo?"
Buck slowly nodded. "Can we's have pi'zza bagels? P'ease, daddy?" He sweetly asked, finally pulling his head from Bobby's neck and peering up at him with his wet, ruddy face that was morphed into a puppy-dog expression.
Bobby chuckled in fond amusement. "Sure we can, snuggle bunny. Let's get you in some cozy jammies first, then."
"Want Bun-Bun, too."
The pink bunny-shaped blanket lovey his daddy had gotten him when he first started regressing.
"Of course, we can't leave Bun-Bun alone, after all."
With practiced ease, Bobby stood up from the couch with Buck still in his arms. He adjusted him until the little boy was comfortably settled on his hip.
"Nu-uh. Bun-Bun real 'portant."
"That's right. He's very important."
After getting Buck into a Mickey Mouse pull-up and dressed in his favorite T-rex pajama set, and retrieving his cherished Bun-Bun, Bobby carried him to the dining table. From his seat at the table, Buck watched Bobby pull the pizza bagels out of the freezer and start lining them up on a foil covered tray; Bun-Bun safely cuddled in his arms, where he would stay until it was time to eat.
Even though Buck still felt kind of sad and his heart still hurt, he felt a million times better now knowing that he was here with his daddy.
Daddy would help keep all the bad, scary thoughts and feelings at bay.