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There is usually some cheering before the match starts. Fans are just excited to see the players on the court. So excited chattering and maybe some whooping and hollering was fairly standard. The screaming that overtook the court this time was abnormal though. Abnormal enough that Kiyoomi actually bothered looking up to see why every girl in the crowd had started screeching.
He wished he hadn’t though.
Miya fucking Atsumu was standing across the court from him with the biggest grin on his face. And in his arms was the biggest pink teddy bear that Kiyoomi had ever seen. He was holding a bunch of bright heart shaped balloons as well as tins which Kiyoomi could only assume were full of chocolates.
Atsumu eyes found his and the silly grin on his face softened as he looked back at Kiyoomi. He looked so pleased as he started crossing the gym with the intention of bestowing these ridiculous gifts upon his boyfriend.
Bokuto and Hinata are making cooing noises behind him while their other teammates jeer playfully. Someone boo’s Atsumu (Kiyoomi assumes it was Inunaki but he can’t be sure).
Kiyoomi just stands there frozen as Atsumu walks towards him. Atsumu’s smile gets a tiny bit dimmer as he notices Kiyoomi’s expression. He starts to walk faster, looking a little concerned.
Kiyoomi turns and flees.
***
Atsumu stopped where he was, stunned and honestly, hurt.
He had put so much thought into this. He had gotten the foil balloons, since regular balloons are a sensory nightmare for Kiyoomi. He got him this big bear because it would be the perfect size for Kiyoomi to rest his leg on when he needs it raised due to joint pain. He bought him chocolates because he knows Kiyoomi gets nervous when he hasn’t seen the food be prepared himself so store bought feels safer for him.
He had been so sure he had thought of everything.
He awkwardly hands the gifts over to Bokuto, muttering something about going to find Kiyoomi. He thinks Bokuto probably said something encouraging, but he honestly wasn’t listening. All he could hear was the confused and speculative murmuring of the crowd. The incredibly large crowd that had all just witnessed him be rejected in a very loud and obvious way.
Fuck.
Atsumu hurries off to find Kiyoomi, trying to keep his temper down, but it was embarrassing.
Kiyoomi is in the hallway that leads to the first aid office. It is a quieter hallway, more tucked away from the rest of the world. He is pacing back and forth with a wild look in his eyes. When he spots Atsumu, he flinches.
And, ouch. Apparently even looking at Atsumu was painful for him now. Atsumu can feel himself beginning to snarl. He doesn’t want to have a fight. They have a match they need to play in shortly, they do not have time to fight.
But also, he thinks he deserves some answers.
Just as he opens his mouth to say so, Kiyoomi whips around to face him fully.
“What the fuck was that, Miya?” He snarls.
Atsumu flinches. He hasn’t been called ‘Miya’ since they started dating a few months back. The switch back stung.
“It’s fucking Valentines day, I was being romantic!” He lashes back.
“Why on earth would you assume that I would want this?” Kiyoomi’s voice was strangled and squeaky by the end of the sentence, which would have been funny in another context, but right now the disbelief in his voice was a bucket of cold water on Atsumu.
He had thought-
He had been sure that-
Embarrassment floods him and he can feel his face flush. He had been sure he had thought of everything. He can’t believe he forgot how private Kiyoomi was about these things. That was such an obvious thing to forget.
Shame from misjudgement combines miserably with the shame from the earlier rejection, a swirling cocktail of bubbling discomfort waiting to erupt.
“It was a romantic gesture!” Atsumu snaps. “You know, the kind of thing normal people do to show affection to the person they are dating?”
“Why would I-”
“Listen, Omi, I was trying to show people that I care about you and you had to go and make a big fuss about it!” Atsumu steps closer, pushing Kiyoomi back as his voice gets harsher. “If you were ashamed of being with me you should have told me earlier!”
“Well maybe if you would stop being so embarrassing all the time I would be less embarrassed about being seen with you!” Kiyoomi flinches as he says it, regret filling his face before the words have fully left his mouth. He opens his mouth to say something, an apology maybe, but Atsumu beats him to it.
“Well, Omi, most normal people,” Atsumu sneers, a nasty look in his eyes, “Don’t find basic displays of affection to be so upsetting! Most people aren’t cowards like you!”
“What you did wasn’t basic, Miya, and you know that!” Kiyoomi bites back.
“Well what did you get me for valentines, huh? I bet you forgot entirely!”
“It’s nothing more than a scam to sell chocolates, Miya! Which apparently you fell for!”
The door to the court slams open, startling them both out of their fight.
“Shout a little louder, boys,” Their coaches voice is bland, but his face is frightening. “I think there are still some people in the back row who haven’t heard your little lovers spat.”
They both leap back from each other, turning to face their coach, a little shame faced but still very pissed off. They apologise quietly with a subtle bow. Coach gestures for them to follow.
As they get closer to the rest of their team and their array of worried faces, Coach speaks up again.
“This had better not affect the match, you hear me? I’ve let this slide so far, but if it starts interfering with plays I might have to step in. Understood?”
“Yes, coach.” Atsumu says, while Kiyoomi just nods sullenly.
They might be mad at each other, but even they wouldn’t let it come between their love for volleyball. Atsumu was sure it wouldn’t affect the match.
***
They lost. 0-3.
***
By the time Atsumu got home he was beyond miserable. The match had been a disaster. Kiyoomi didn’t trust him to set to him normally, which pissed him off, making it harder to focus on setting well.
He didn’t want to just stop setting to Kiyoomi though, he was one of their strongest hitters! There was a reason he was on the court and Atsumu was determined to use him well. It was just hard to do that while he was also remembering the look of disdain on his face when he called Atsumu ‘embarrassing’.
Kiyoomi was hitting harder than usual, but the added speed was throwing off their timing and also losing him accuracy. His expression suggested he was imagining the ball was Atsumu. Which… was also upsetting.
They hadn’t spoken a word to each other since their fight. Bokuto was looking worriedly between them and Hinata was talking too much, too loudly, in a show of nervous energy. Meian looked like he was warming up to talking to them both, but Atsumu shot him a look that convinced him to back off. For now at least.
Atsumu was sure he was in for absolute hell when they went back to practice next.
Still, he didn’t want to make more of a scene than he had already done, so he popped the balloons to dispose of them, picked up the bear and grabbed the boxes of chocolates to head home.
Alone.
He had made plans for a romantic dinner out with Kiyoomi. And maybe he had made some plans for what after that dinner would have held too. He had planned it all out, they even had the next day off to laze about together.
Instead he went home alone and ate left over take out from a couple of days ago.
He ate alone.
He showered alone.
He went to bed alone.
***
When he woke, he was miserable and also scared. Had he fucked up beyond repair? Surely his miscalculation with the gifts wasn’t enough for them to break up over, but the conversation (argument) afterwards had been brutal.
Atsumu knew he had fucked up.
He also knew he couldn’t really undo that. He could only reach out to Kiyoomi and try to figure out if any of it was salvageable. He didn’t want to talk about his emotions like an adult. He wanted to punch something and maybe cry about it. But, with a heavy sigh, he could admit that the fear of losing Kiyoomi entirely was significantly worse than having a grown up conversation about feelings.
So he sat up and grabbed his phone. He would need to talk to him in person about this, but it was best to feel things out and see if Kiyoomi was even willing to talk to him about it.
[Bestest Boyfriend Ever <3: Kiyoomi, we should talk about what happened yesterday. Will ya meet up with me sometime? Tell me when and where and ill be there.]
He stared wearily at his phone as the message sent.
Well.
The ball’s in Kiyoomi’s court now.
Atsumu stands up, planning on making breakfast and putting on some trashy sitcom to stop him checking his phone every minute all day. Kiyoomi usually takes a while to respond, even when they aren’t potentially breaking up.
So Atsumu wasn’t expecting his phone to immediately go off before he was even across the room. He darts back to look at it and it stunned to find it is actually Kiyoomi and not just a poorly timed message from someone else.
[Omi-omi <3: Open the door. I’m here.]
Atsumu stared at his phone for a moment, not understanding. Was Kiyoomi messing with him? (Though getting someone to open their door when you aren’t actually there isn’t really that big of a prank.) But how could he already be here? Atsumu messaged him less than a minute ago.
Apparently, impatient with not being let in, Kiyoomi starts knocking on the door, startling Atsumu out of his thoughts. He hurries to the door, not bothering to do more than pull on some sweatpants on the way.
Kiyoomi looks, well, haggard. His eyes have dark bags beneath them (worse than usual), his hair is a mess and his entire posture looks wrung out and weary. He startles slightly as the door opens, a look of guilt flickering across his face as he takes in whatever disaster Atsumu must look like right now.
Atsumu stares at him, still stunned that he is actually here. He shakes himself out of it, opening the door and nodding for him to come in.
Kiyoomi is stiff and awkward as he takes off his shoes and coat, more stiff than usual. Atsumu can’t help the way he scans his boyfriend (they were still boyfriends, right?) taking in the way he favours his left leg ever so slightly and how he winces when he reaches down for his shoes.
He leaves to make Kiyoomi a cup of tea. Strong black tea, supposedly has some sort of anti-inflammatory properties to it. Atsumu doesn’t know the science to it, he just knows Kiyoomi drinks it near religiously whenever his pain flares up. He hesitates before grabbing some of the painkillers he got just for Kiyoomi. Might as well leave them out in case Kiyoomi forgot them before coming over.
He hands Kiyoomi his mug and watches his eyes widen slightly at the gesture before wincing slightly. Still, he takes the mug from Atsumu and they walk over and sit down on the couch together.
They both sit there awkwardly for a moment, neither sure where to start with the conversation. Finally, somewhat decisively, Kiyoomi puts his cup down on the coffee table in front of them, before turning to face Atsumu head on.
“I’m not ashamed of you.” His voice is determined, though he still avoids eye contact, though Atsumu assumes that is more due to awkwardness than any dishonest motives. “The team knows about our relationship. Motoya knows about our relationship. Your family knows. The people who matter, the people who’s opinions I care actually care about, they already know.”
He looks Atsumu in the eye as he continues. “So I am not ashamed of you or of being in a relationship with you.” He looks away again, frowning uncomfortably. “But I don’t like public affection. I don’t like the attention or being in the spotlight. I don’t like how it makes me feel like a bug under a microscope. I already get so much shit about my EDS, I didn’t want to have to deal with another thing that people might use against me or ask too many questions about because they somehow think that being a public figure means owing my fans every detail of my life.”
Atsumu watched quietly for once. He knew how much Kiyoomi struggled in interviews and fan meetups due to invasive questioning about his conditions. He had stepped in (earning a lot of disapproval from their publicity manager) to call them out or distract away from it.
“I don’t like surprises.” Kiyoomi continued. “I don’t respond well when surprised. And it was such a big open display and there were so many people watching and I knew I couldn’t respond well but I didn’t have a choice anymore! You backed me into a corner and put me on display at the same time. That wasn’t fair.”
“’M sorry, Omi,” Atsumu said softly. “I knew you didn’t like surprised but I guess I just forgot. Got too excited planning this big way to show how much you mean to me, only I ended up forgetting one of the most obvious things about you.”
“You wanted to do something nice for me. I’m sorry that-” Kiyoomi looks away miserably. “I’m sorry that I can’t join you in that kind of public affection you want.”
Atsumu blinks.
“What’re you apologising for? I fucked up. Yeah you left me hanging and that was pretty upsetting, and I guess you accused me of not knowing you which kinda sucked though I guess it was warranted but-”
“I liked the bear.” Kiyoomi cut in. Then flinched as he realised what he admitted. Still, he continued anyway, though looking a lot grumpier about it. “It’s a good size and looks very soft. It was a good choice for me, even if the colour sucks.”
“You love bright colours, don’t even pretend otherwise.”
“It was my school uniform, Atsumu, I didn’t have a say in the colours I wore!”
“Uh huh. Keep telling yourself that.” Atsumu smirks, enjoying the unimpressed glare that Kiyoomi shot back.
“I really am sorry though.” Atsumu continued a little softer. “I did just want to do something nice fer ya since it was our first valentines together. Guess I got a little over excited.”
Kiyoomi jolts suddenly as if remembering something, and stands up hurrying back to the front door. For a moment, Atsumu worried he had said something wrong and that Kiyoomi was leaving him for good.
“Omi?”
Kiyoomi comes back holding a small bag with a plastic container in it.
“I forgot. I- I got you this.” Kiyoomi looks like he wishes the ground would swallow him whole rather than be here, but he hands the container to Atsumu anyway.
The container that holds a small chocolate cake, the perfect size for two people (two people who really shouldn’t be eating chocolate cake with their current diets, but their dietitians will just have to deal with it).
The icing on it is a little wonky, it was a little thin in the centre and heavier on the outside as if he forgot to let the cake cool properly before icing it. In the centre in stilted letters it read ‘Happy (late) valentines’ with a small heart next to it.
Atsumu’s lip wobbles.
“Didja make me this, Omi-omi?”
Kiyoomi flushes hard.
“I didn’t forget about valentines day.” He says stubbornly, before relenting slightly. “Though I did forget that you are a sentimental piece of shit and would probably want something for it.”
Despite the insults, Kiyoomi sounds fond and regretful as he says this.
“So I made you a cake this morning. Figured whatever happens, you deserved to be treated the way you wish to be loved on valentines day. I’m sorry I didn’t think of it earlier.”
Atsumu sniffles, blinking back tears. He didn’t like to admit it, but he was really a very sentimental guy. He wanted to show the people he loved that he loved them, and he wanted them to show him too. He didn’t often get excuses to show it so openly, but valentines day seemed like the perfect opportunity to do it. Only he fucked that up too. But now Kiyoomi was here, offering an ugly cake and sincere sentiment and Atsumu-
“Thank you.” Atsumu takes a moment to steady his breathing. Then he takes in the rest of what Kiyoomi said. “Wait, what do ya ‘whatever happens’? Are we breaking up?”
Kiyoomi looks at him nervously. It is a strange expression on Kiyoomi’s face.
“I wasn’t sure if you were, you know, still going to want this-”
“Wait, you weren’t sure I would want this? You thought I would break up with you because I fucked up?? I know I am a prideful bastard, Omi, but I wouldn’t break up with you just to save face!” Atsumu watches Kiyoomi closely as he looks for the right words. “Omi? Why did you think I would break up with you?”
“It’s just-” Kiyoomi sighs, looking pained. “I am never going to be that kind of flashy openly affectionate person, Atsumu. I thought maybe this was the wake up call you would need to realise that.”
“But I don’t want you to be flashy and openly affectionate?” Atsumu cocks his head, baffled. “Why would I date you if I wanted that? You’re private and kind of an asshole, you make fun of me and pick on me endlessly, you’re sassy and awkward and I adore you. Why would I want you to be something else?”
Kiyoomi’s lips twitch, holding back what could have been a smile or a frown, and he looks away for a moment.
“Omi?” Atsumu leans in, keeping his voice soft. “I was scared ya were gonna break up with me for being an insensitive asshole. I put you in a very awkward position in a very public situation. I don’t know if that’s forgivable in yer eyes.”
Kiyoomi sighed heavily, finally looking back at Atsumu.
“It was an awful situation you put me in. Making me have to tell you openly that I forgive you and still want to date you. That is pretty cruel of you, Atsumu.” Kiyoomi smiles a little lopsidedly as he says this and Atsumu bumps their shoulders together with a playful glare. “But yeah, I do forgive you. Please don’t do that again though. No more surprises. I can’t handle that kind of stress.”
“Of course, Omi.” Atsumu says softly. “If I had thought about things for more than a moment I would have realised what a dumb idea that was. I should have known better.”
“Well, I don’t date you for your intelligence so I suppose it’s forgivable.”
“Hey! You take that back!” Atsumu shoves Kiyoomi over, landing on top of him as they sprawl across the couch. Kiyoomi just grins softly back at him. Atsumu settles in getting comfy on top of Kiyoomi.
“Hey, Omi?” Atsumu looks up at Kiyoomi. “Are we good now?”
“Yeah, I think so.” Kiyoomi leans in and kisses Atsumu gently. “I’m sorry I embarrassed you.”
Atsumu just kisses him back.
They have time to figure things out. They have time to learn each others needs and desires still. They have time to fuck things up and make them right again. These are still early days. But they are days they get to share, they are times they get to experience together.
Atsumu smiles softly into the kiss.
Yeah. They have time.
5 Years Later
Kiyoomi hears the door open to their apartment and feels his heart rate spike slightly. He sighs, it’s embarrassing to still have this strong a reaction after five years together. Still, he did go all out today and he knew himself well enough to recognise the nerves beneath it all. Not that he doubted Atsumu would like it, at this point he was pretty certain he knew what his partners response would be.
“Honey~ I’m home!!” Atsumu calls out in his usual obnoxious manner. (Kiyoomi hates that he finds it so endearing.)
“Welcome home.” Kiyoomi goes to meet him in the dining area.
Their apartment is fairly small, but it suited them well. The dining room connected with the kitchen was a little small, but it made it so that they could easily talk while one of them made dinner.
It had taken them a couple of years before Kiyoomi noticed that Atsumu was taking on the majority of the housework in their shared spaces. Kiyoomi had grown up with a mother who babied him a little too much, while Atsumu grew up in a single parent household and was forced to do chores as soon as he was physically capable. As such, Atsumu would do chores without much thought and Kiyoomi hardly noticed.
That had ended in a spectacular fight, Kiyoomi shook his head slightly at the memory of it. Since then he had made a system to balance the workload. Atsumu made fun of the system a lot, but it was pretty obvious how much he appreciated not having to do as much work all the time.
Kiyoomi is brought back to the present when Atsumu walks into the room. He watches with a small pleased smile as Atsumu’s eyes widen with shock before looking at Kiyoomi, eyes already filling with tears.
Kiyoomi was quite proud of the set up.
The table had a red table cloth over it and on top of it were boxes of chocolates and a chocolate cake. His cake making skills had grown a lot over the years and he was quite pleased with how it had turned out. The cake read (in beautiful looping handwriting that Kiyoomi had spent far too long perfecting) “Happy valentines day”. Nothing too original but still.
At the table sat the pink bear that Atsumu had given him so many years ago. The bear was a little faded now, a little lumpy where it had been cuddled so tightly, but still here today. There were heart shaped foil balloons attached to each chair and there was a framed photo of them behind the cake.
It was Atsumu’s favourite photo of the two of them. It was from their first Olympics they had played at together. After making it to the finals, Kiyoomi had swept Atsumu into his arms and kissed him. It was far from their first public kiss, they were quite open about their relationship at this point and had received a fair bit of support. (They also took great pleasure in making fun of anyone who was mean to them about this. Atsumu had gotten into trouble for dragging people to hell on twitter in response on many different occasions.)
Still, it was a very big moment for them (and it was a very nice photo). So Kiyoomi had it printed and framed so that Atsumu could see it more often. Kiyoomi wasn’t a huge fan of pictures of himself, especially ones of them kissing. But even he was fond of this one.
He looks back at his partner, smiling softly at the tears streaming down his face.
“Happy valentine’s day, Atsumu.” He said, walking over to his boyfriend.
Atsumu launched himself into Kiyoomi’s arms and kisses him firmly before hiding in his shoulder in a strange show of bashfulness. Kiyoomi frowns slightly, nudging him.
“What?”
Atsumu looks up at him before looking away, blushing hard.
“I forgot it was valentines day.” He mutters, cheeks bright with a frustrated embarrassment.
Kiyoomi just laughs.