Chapter Text
The night was quiet aside from the pattering of rain outside, the wind having nuzzled open the once ajar window above the desk some more. The necromancer was not a tidy being, his notes strew about his desk now getting dappled with rain drops, the ink rehydrating and pooling together in small little illegible puddles all over the parchment as it warped. It was dark outside still and Dark Choco was awoken by a dull rumble of thunder, and then by the cold chill and smell of petrichor that permeated the air of his colleague's dilapidated bedroom. He sighed quietly as he gently untangled himself from Licorice and scooted to the foot of the bed. He felt his bones and muscles ache as he rose to his feet, carefully maneuvering over a few scattered books on the floor as he made his way over to the desk. The window creaked as Choco closed it, requiring a tug to actually fully close. He made a mental note to fix that later, hinges with a fine layer of rust and lack of care most likely being the cause.
Once done closing the window, and making sure it stayed closed, his eyes scanned the dimly lit room. The candlelight bounced along the walls making the shadows dance in shapes that made his already poor vision worse. He could tell it was somewhat less cluttered than it usually was, the floor felt a bit cleaner and there was a lack of dust…well mostly. A band of warmth tugged at his heart. He knew Licorice despised cleaning…which would only mean…
Choco breathed in deeply, tucking those tender feelings of affection away. It was something he had found himself having to do more and more often and he hated it. His mind would drag itself back to it and the worst part was he craved it, craved Licorice’s presence, his comfort, anything he could get from him. The feeling wouldn't leave him alone so he resorted to the only thing he could think to do, which happened to be picking up the splayed out books on the floor and attempting to put them away. Licorice’s bookshelves were of course a curated disaster, much like his room, and Choco could not make heads or tails out of how he had it organized. It was not alphabetical but in some places it was. Other chunks were by author title and others by book title. It made him feel physically ill to say the least. The volume of books the necromancer owned was extensive, far too many for Choco to even consider reorganizing at the moment. He put the books away where he guessed they might go, resorting to just putting them somewhere with similar topics or by the same writer if that wasn't a choice. Once done with that he made a mental note to return to the task at a later date, perhaps the next time Licorice was given a mission to complete on his own he could let himself in and take his time organizing them, maybe even deep clean his room entirely.
Content with that choice, he turned and returned to the bed…Nest, rather. Without making too much of a disturbance to the still sleeping cookie he sat down next to the other. Choco's scarlet eye was fixated on Licorice's face. The necromancer was passed out on his back, head lulled back into the ludacris amount of pillows behind him with his mouth parted. He was snoring softly which pulled a quiet chuckle out of the stoic warrior. Even like this Choco found himself unable to pry his gaze away, enchanted almost. Licorice did not have a high view of himself, often complaining of his appearance or making mild jabs at himself whenever he would compliment Choco.
Licorice’s upper set of teeth were overcrowded, his canines on the top set of teeth set a bit higher than they should have been, his teeth overall a bit crooked in the front. Both top and bottom canines were pointed sharply and Choco had to practically drag himself from the thought of what they would feel like against his throat. Licorice hated his smile, hated how crooked it naturally was and how his face looked in general. Choco would listen but had trouble voicing that he thought otherwise, other than that ability to mumble a meek ‘You look fine.’ which admittedly did not do his colleague justice.
Where Licorice saw his face as gaunt and unsightly, Choco saw it as elegant. He was thin which made his jawline sharp and cheekbones prominent. His eyelids Had remnants of heavy eyeliner that had been smudged over the course of the day and his eyebrows were rested and relaxed. He looked peaceful. Choco lifted his hand, his calloused fingertips grazing along his jawline, thumb following the fine line of his mandible to his chin. His lips were dry from sleep, the candle light catching his snake bites and making the metal glow like little stars. His thumb hesitantly moved up, resting between the piercings and very gently moving his lip down. It was too dark for him to get a proper look at the mechanics of how it may have been done, but the thought alone of a needle going through such a thin part of the skin made him feel uneasy. It suited Licorice, sometimes he would switch the traditional circular metal ends with small triangular spiked ones which, admittedly, Choco preferred.
His hand lingered there, dangerously close to his mouth. Every brush of his warm breath on his thumb felt like rubbing a raw nerve. He felt disgusted by his own parasitic need for touch. Physical comforts were not exactly common in the ice laden mountains they were both from, and he never felt like he needed it until now. His body mostly felt either numb or overly sensitive, painfully so. It felt that way the first few times Licorice hugged him but now he was dependent on it. Choco had tried his best to ignore it but there were multiple occasions where physical contact was almost needed to calm Licorice down…he wouldn't want to be a bad friend to him.
He swiftly moved his hand away as Licorice's mouth closed, his lithe body briefly contorting to stretch before his eyes opened lazily. It took a moment for his pale yellow eyes to find Choco's face.
“Hey you.” The necromancer croaked, voice a mere rasp from sleeping with his mouth open. Choco felt his heart stall, a faint dusting of blush forming in his face. “ Were you watching me sleep?” He asked, eyes narrowing into a suspicious squint.
“ Perhaps..” Choco answered honestly, voice quiet. “ Was this painful?” He asked a moment later, thumb returning to his lower lip a bit hesitant. They had shared a bed several times now and other gentle and borderline affectionate touches, but this out of all of them felt like it was teetering on the line. Choco swallowed thickly at the implications. He was unsure if he was being too obvious. It was just a simple question about his piercing…it's not like this was meant to satiate his hunger for the others warmth, to get as close as he could to a kiss without being forthright about his feelings..he wasn't desperate for the touch of another soul who tolerated him, maybe even loved him…he was strong enough to be solitary and cold, untouchable..alone.
He was stronger than that…wasn't he?
Licorice’s expression melted into one of content, as if he felt relieved at his touch. The notion of reciprocation was absolutely unbearable. Licorice’s lips moved, forming syllables. Choco could only hear his ears ringing.
He couldn't do this. They couldn't do this. Dark Choco had never wished so violently to have met someone under different circumstances. Pomegranate Cookie was already beginning to grow suspicious and he knew she would not hesitate to scuttle off to their leader to inform her that they were not as devout to the cause as they should be. Dark Enchantress would no doubt harm one of them into obedience, hold it over their heads or find something more torturing to do. That sensation of fear, it was like pins and needles up his spine until it infected the inside his his very bones. If they stayed close Licorice would no doubt be ruined by their leader or worse, by him. Killed in a manner that he could never deserve and his soul and energy devoured by his accursed sword. Were his feelings of affection even real? Was all of this a mirage curated by his cursed weapon just to torment him more when he inevitably destroys Licorice?
His eye was open but it was unseeing, everything fading into blobs of light and shadow. He didn't feel his senses slowly leaving him, the frame of Licorice in front of him leaning closer yet still managing to be indistinguishable. After what felt like an eternity there was warmth against his face and his eye closed as he practically melted into it. The warmth on either side of his cheek spread as he was guided to lay against something. He inhaled Slowly as he felt fingers on the back of his head, Stroking his hair soothingly. All he could smell was Licorice cookie's flavor emanating off of him. What once used to smell sickeningly sweet and borderline off putting had become addicting. It soothed his nerves, his own arms wrapping around the other's waist with great effort. It felt like his limbs were made of lead but he managed it, he needed to. It felt like time stopped entirely as he simply allowed himself to be held. His hearing gradually began to return to him as the sound of rain pattering against the windows and Licorice speaking quietly came to him.
“All of these storms lately are probably giving you migraines huh? You're lucky I'm so kind, taking care of you all the time! What would you do without me?” His voice was teasing, a fine layer of nervousness underneath. For once Choco felt like he could agree with his usually teasing words. He was kind in his own way and he was very warm.
He shifted to sit back up after an immeasurable amount of time, Licorice's hands moving off of him immediately. He could now see his companion staring at him nervously, eyes scanning his face for any shred of information. The room had started to lighten a bit as the sun struggled to peek over the mountain peaks and the thick rain clouds.
“ Hey, there you are…gods above give me a warning or something the next time you shut down like that!” Licorice scolded. Despite the harsh words his lithe hands cupped Choco's face delicately, as if he were made of glass. “ Are you okay..? Choco?” He asked, voice dropping the false front of inconvenience and sinking into something more genuine. The way he said his name..the way he gave him a nickname rather, and the way it so easily slipped from his lips with such heartfelt care made Choco want to tear himself apart.
It was comparable to two sides of himself constantly against each other for months on end. It felt excruciating being torn in such a way, his mind looming above insisting the love that he held was false, a pathetic need he should not require while his heart begged on its knees for just a moment of any scraps of kindness Licorice would spare him. He wanted to make them quiet.
That kindness came as his right hand rose to caress the left side of his face, and he was being gentle, so unnecessarily gentle as his fingertips took extra care to avoid the scar over his eye. He had only ever mentioned in passing to him once that it hurts to touch, and it was so long ago.
It was like a dam breaking. Choco practically threw himself at Licorice. Within moments he was straddling him as one of his hands caressed the back of the necromancer's head, the other along his jaw as he closed the space between them with a heated kiss. Licorice was stunned for a moment but quickly reciprocated, one of his lithe hands holding Choco by the waist as the other tangled itself in his curls. It was like a switch flipped in his mind, pure silence as his body simply existed. He could not think, only feel. He felt the way Licorice’s hands held him like he would disappear, his heart beating so hard it was almost painful, the others pulse on his neck beneath his undeserving fingers. Choco could feel his soul tethering to Licorice, like a noose around his own neck. The feeling of the others hands on his body felt searing even through his clothes and it felt both overwhelming and reliving.
Choco felt the way his weight shifted as he was laid down, the kiss not breaking as Licorice loomed above him, their bodies fitting together perfectly. His mind buzzed as Licorice spoiled him with affection, with love. The necromancer's hands had begun wandering to his face, the other moving from his waist down to his hip. The kiss slowed, becoming tender and gentle. It felt oddly natural in a way that Choco didn't expect. The passage of time was once again absent as his heart took the place of his mind.
His lungs ached as the kiss finally broke, both of their breathing labored. Licorice was absorbing all of his senses, touch, taste, smell, everything. He felt a nose nuzzling against his own as the others hands held his face with borderline reverence. The sound of aggressive knocks on the door made them both flinch. Choco's eye opened wide. As Licorice sat up he could see the overcast morning light now freely spilling into the room through the window, drizzles of rain still pattering against the glass.
“ I'm busy!” Licorice yelled, laying back down and moving to pull Choco into another kiss. He was swiftly interrupted by a voice on the other side of the door.
“ You were supposed to be present for the meeting thirty minutes ago! “ Pomegranate Cookie snapped. “ Get yourself down there now, before I drag you out by your pathetic throat!” Choco half expected her to break the door of its hinges, his heart beating rapidly.
“Fine.” Licorice called, rolling his eyes as he lifted Choco's hand, pressing a kiss to his wrist. He lingered as he felt Choco's pulse against his lips, a smug grin forming on his face.
“ Make yourself useful while you're at it and find Dark Choco as well.” She added, Choco felt like he was going to pass out.
“ Why would I have any idea where he is?” He asked, grinning as he started planting a trail of kisses along Choco's throat.
“ You're being too reckless, quit it.” Choco whispered, it was an attempt to scold him but Licorice retaliated by sinking his teeth into the flesh of his neck gently. Any attempt at caution was swiftly wiped from his mind as he melted at the mercy of his touch.
“ Licorice!” Pomegranate snapped, making Licorice flinch hard.
“ Fine! Let me get dressed first!” Licorice shouted, agitation flaring in his voice. Her footsteps slowly receded down the stairs and once Licorice was sure she was gone he finally relaxed, leaning back down and pulling Choco into another kiss. Choco was weak, cupping Licorice’s face and returning the kiss easily. A pit was forming in his stomach as realization washed over him, his hands shaking. He abruptly broke the kiss as he tilted his head to the side. Licorice instead pressed kisses to his cheek and jaw. He wanted to urge his words out, an apology at the very least, but his throat felt painfully raw. Licorice noticed the shift in his demeanor, leaning back and cupping his face. He opened his mouth to speak but before he could say anything Choco moved Licorice off of himself and quickly rose to his feet. “H-hey! Choco wait!”
Choco felt like he was floating as he swiftly exited the room, his ears ringing as he descended the stairs. He could not feel his feet as they touched the floor or his hands or arms or anything. His mind was racing as it practically cannibalized itself, berating himself for his idiocy, his lack of willpower. How could he let this happen? How could he do this? They could die, they will die and it will be because of him.
The sound of a door slamming shut brought him back, piercing through layers of cotton as the darkness of his bedroom numbed his senses. The familiar pull towards the heavy wooden armoire made his breathing stutter. It made the air heavy and crushing, his body sliding down against the door as he curled into himself. The overwhelming misery felt heavy, like he was sinking down through the floor being consumed by it. As it became too much he was quickly gone. The floor was cold against his disgusting skin as he laid down in a fetal position, his mind chanting to itself over and over and over.
I put him in danger, I’ve killed him