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In his defense, Buck hadn’t meant to say the words out loud yet. He and Tommy had only been back together for a couple of months and Buck had been trying to take it slow. Despite knowing in his heart that Tommy was who he wanted to be with for the rest of his life, the last few months spent by himself nursing a broken heart meant he refused to make the same mistake twice.
Tommy had called him earlier when Buck texted him about having a few minutes of downtime. As the bell rang on Tommy’s end, his boyfriend had groaned and responded, “Okay, I have to go, but I’ll see you tonight, okay?”
“Okay, baby, I love you.” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Buck’s eyes widened but by the time he thought to say anything, Tommy had already hung up the phone. Maybe he hadn’t heard him? But what if he did and he hung up to avoid saying anything?
Oh no, he ruined everything. Again! Without knowing what to do, he rushed over to the cabinet and pulled out some flour.
“Oh, no you don’t!” Chimney immediately grabbed the bag from him. Buck cursed his brother-in-law’s new reflex skills ever since Jee came along. “What was that?
“What was what?” Buck asked defensively.
Chimney pointed at Buck’s phone. “You make a big love declaration and then rush over here to begin baking cookies. Your call ended way too quickly for another round of self-destruction through baking. As much as I did love the pumpkin loaf, Maddie has banned it from the house.”
Buck shook his head. “I was supposed to be going slow, Chim! We weren’t ready for this.”
“Judging by how easy it was for you to say the words, I think you were ready.”
“But that doesn’t mean Tommy was. And now I won’t know if he’s upset or not until our date night.” Buck sat down on a stool, groaning softly. “I think I’m about to get dumped again.”
Chimney gave him a look. “No, you’re not. Tommy is way too infatuated with you and willing to face his fears to run again. Just talk to him. Don’t practically start a bakery again.” Chimney put the bag of flour away.
Buck heard his phone ding and he looked over at it. “I’m afraid to look.”
Chimney rolled his eyes and walked over to it, but instead of looking at the phone, he just picked it up and handed it to him. “Don’t be scared, man. Just hear him out.”
Buck took a breath and looked down, smiling softly at the text.
Don’t freak out. I know you. It’s okay, baby. Just wait until tonight, okay?
He hoped this meant what he thought he meant. Buck could hardly wait to get home that evening.
Once his shift was over, Buck was quick to go to the loft and take a shower, wanting to smell nice for when Tommy arrived. He had already prepped dinner earlier before his shift so all he had to do was put it in the oven.
When Tommy arrived, he greeted Buck with a kiss before sitting down at the table. “How was your shift?”
“Good. It was good. Probably not as exciting as yours.” Buck offered, sitting down across from him. It almost reminded him of another time they sat like this. No! This time was different.
“Oh yes. My boyfriend said something really sweet to me. Unexpected though.”
“Oh, did he?” Buck cleared his throat. “And what did you think about that?”
Tommy pretended to mull it over. “Well, I thought it might have just been something said in the moment. But I also knew he wouldn’t have said it without meaning it. I just didn’t want to reply over the phone.”
“Would this reply have been a good thing or a bad thing?” Buck hoped the fear in his gut wasn’t as noticeable on his face.
Tommy reached out to take his hand. “A good thing. I don’t know if I would have been ready to say it back a couple months ago, but now? I love him more than anything and want him to know it. I want to be able to say it to him after every phone call. When we wake up in the morning. After an amazing round of sex.” Buck laughed at that, looking down as his cheeks heated up.
“Evan.” He looked up at his name, the tone so gentle it sent a shiver down his spine. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Tommy. I’ve loved you this whole time and wanted to say it. But I didn’t want to mess this up again.”
Tommy squeezed his hands. “Hey. What happened was not all on you. I let my fears get the best of me. But I know now what it’s like to be loved by you and I want you to know that I believe this is it. My love for you is…it’s stronger than anything I’ve felt before. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you.”
Buck couldn’t wait anymore and he moved forward, settling in Tommy’s lap and kissing him deeply. Dinner could wait. This was much more important.