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It was just a date on a calendar. It didn’t mean anything, not really. And if Adalind kept thinking that then maybe she would believe it.
It didn’t help that she’d been in and out of stores all week, as between Diana and Kelly they’d needed something different each day, between clothes necessities and food wants. And in every store there were great big banners and displays advertising and reminding everyone that it was Valentine’s Day soon.
Adalind had never celebrated Valentine’s Day. When she was younger and thought it was a sweet romantic thing, her mother had ridiculed her and she’d quickly hidden any yearnings she had to celebrate and participate in the day of love. When she thought she’d found a great guy in college she’d been so busy with assignments and exams, all they’d managed to do was say the words to wish each other a happy day and then it was gone. He hadn’t lasted and then she’d found herself busy with proving herself as a serious lawyer whilst not losing her hexenbiest standing, occasionally having a man for some relief and to appease her mother. Then she became enamoured, and thought she was in a serious relationship with Sean, and what a disaster that had been. Looking back now she knew it wasn’t love but at the time she’d have told everyone it was. Though she wasn’t allowed to say anything publicly about their relationship, Sean always keeping her there but never acknowledging her. So that meant celebrating Valentine’s Day was a major no-no.
Although a part of her was very glad she’d never celebrated it with Sean, as that would be her memory now and she’s so much happier not having any than sharing something with him.
But it would be nice to celebrate it with someone who she truly wanted to share it with, who she truly meant it when she said she loved them.
She loved Nick. She wanted to celebrate it with him, even if it was an overly-commercialised hack of a day.
Not that Nick had shown any indication he wanted to do anything with her. She’d made some subtle hints but he’d shown no interest. She’d distracted herself, trying to get over it, and then it had occurred to her he might have not known what she was trying to say; for a very successful and decorated detective sometimes he was a bit slow. So she’d summoned her courage and actually mentioned it outright, saying it would be a nice thing and did he want to do anything together. To which he’d replied he was working and it wasn’t a big deal.
Valentine’s was obviously not meant for Adalind Schade.
It wasn’t the end of the world, it wouldn’t break her. She was still with Nick, she had Diana and Kelly; she was so lucky with what she had, she didn’t need to celebrate some tacky stupid date on a calendar to feel loved. And if there was a voice in her head that whispered she wasn’t worthy of it, that she was still in a relationship where she loved more than she was loved in return she ignored it.
She’d been ignoring that voice all week and now the day was here.
This morning she’d made heart pancakes for Diana and had a giggle-filled breakfast with her daughter and son, as Kelly had enjoyed mashing the pancakes as they’d enjoyed eating them. Nick had smiled distractedly as he’d come through but as he was already on the phone to Hank about a case he took no real notice of what they were eating. He’d kissed each of them on the forehead and if Adalind was disappointed and hurt that she’d not received a more meaningful kiss she buried it with a smile and focused on the children.
She would not give in to her negative misgivings, she was stronger than that; they were stronger than that.
Her phone ringing brought a welcome interruption to her thoughts.
“Hey Rosalee,” she greeted.
“Adalind, I have such a big favour to ask.”
Adalind frowned at the stress in her friend’s voice. “What is it? Are you ok?”
“Monroe has this evening out planned for us and De Etta was supposed to babysit but she’s had a set-back at work so she’s going to be an hour late. I know this is such a huge thing to ask but Monroe said Nick was working late so if you’re not doing anything until he’s back could you maybe come over here and watch the triplets until De Etta gets here? It’s such a big favour to ask but Monroe’s been dropping hints about what we’re doing tonight all day so I don’t want to spoil his plans by waiting for my sister. But I don’t want to mess with any plans you and Nick have.”
“Rosalee calm down, it’s fine.” Adalind swallowed and pushed past the tightening in her throat that heralded tears; of course Nick would say he was working late and of course her friend would just assume it meant they were doing something later and not that it was Nick and her not doing anything at all. “Of course I’ll come watch the triplets. Kelly will love a little play time with them. Diana’s at Sean’s tonight so that will make it easier and like you said, Nick is working late.”
“Are you sure?”
“Completely. What time do you need me there? Do I need to bring anything?”
“Seven. No, nothing, just yourself. Oh Adalind, thank you!”
“I’ll see you later then.”
“Thank you thank you thank you!”
Adalind couldn’t help the genuine smile as she hung up. If anyone got to celebrate this day it should be Monroe and Rosalee. That was right.
She messaged Nick to let him know what she’d be doing with her Valentine’s evening, not that she phrased it that way to him, but he needed to know where she and Kelly would be. Though the likelihood of him beating them home was small. Still, it was the right thing to do and she wasn’t going to hold his disinterest in celebrating the day of romance with her against him. He replied with a simple thumbs up and Adalind went on her way.
She got through the rest of the day by catching up on legal briefs, sending emails and doing laundry with welcome play breaks with Kelly and Diana. Time seemed to fly by and before she knew it she was getting the kids and herself ready, taking Diana to Sean’s and getting to Rosalee and Monroe’s house for before seven.
She let herself sit in the car for a minute and just re-centre. Rosalee had done so much for her and Monroe was such a good friend to Nick. This was important to them so it was important to her. She was not going to let her own feelings of disappointment and worthlessness affect her friend’s night.
“Let’s do this Kelly,” she smiled at her baby boy and then got him out of the car and headed for the front door.
Monroe greeted her with a big grin. “You are such a life-saver.”
Adalind couldn’t help but grin back, his genuine joy impossible to resist. “It’s really no problem. Kelly and I are more than happy to play with the triplets.”
“Well normally they’d be more than raring to go but as we thought De Etta would be babysitting we made sure to tire than out this afternoon. They are all already asleep.”
“Really? All of them?”
“Yep. It’s a Valentines’ miracle.”
Adalind laughed and entered, moving into the lounge and settling Kelly on the rug with some toys to play with.
“Seriously,” Monroe said quietly. “Thank you. This means a lot to Rosalee.”
“It’s really fine, you guys have done so much for us, I don’t mind at all.” Adalind turned and couldn’t help but think it wasn’t like she was doing anything else with her night. She took a breath and then focused on Monroe again. “Are you ready to go?”
“Rosalee is just getting an eta from De Etta and then we’ll be out of here.”
“If it’s easier for me to just stay then that’s ok,” Adalind said. “I should have offered that earlier.”
“Oh no, we can’t ruin you and Nick’s night,” Monroe protested. “This is already helping us out we can’t ask any more of you.”
“It’s really not a bother,” Adalind answered. “I’m already here and Nick’s at work. We’re not doing anything anyways.”
“You’re not-?” Monroe looked confused and Adalind turned away, not wanting to see the look of pity on his face once the confusion had cleared and he’d figured it out.
“De Etta’s an hour away,” Rosalee announced as she came into the room, dressed beautifully in a black lace dress. “She’s so sorry but I told her as long as she gets here as soon as possible she won’t have ruined four people’s nights.” She smiled and looked between the two of them. “Everything ok in here?”
“It’s great,” Adalind said. “Kelly and I will hang out until De Etta gets here. If the triplets wake then we’ll do our best to get them back to sleep. The two of you have an amazing time. I can’t wait to hear all about it tomorrow.”
“Again, thank you so much for this.” Rosalee hugged her and Adalind smiled, happy for her friend and the love she could see in front of her. “All the numbers you need are on the fridge and I sent yours to De Etta in case she needs to give you a ring but she should be here within the hour.”
“It’s all fine,” Adalind assured. “Now you two get out of here and enjoy your night.”
It took a few more minutes to get them out of the door but pretty soon Adalind was spending her Valentine’s day evening in the lounge of her friend’s house with her son. Which was not a bad way to spend a night, it just wasn’t what she wanted in her heart of hearts.
What she wanted was a romantic night with Nick. But that was what dreaming was for, her reality was a great life with him and she was so grateful for that, so happy with that that she needed to get over this stupid obsession with a silly day.
She played with Kelly quietly, knowing how fragile the triplets sleeping patterns could be, and enjoyed a nice hour with her baby boy who she really wouldn’t be able to keep calling ‘baby’ for much longer.
De Etta arrived over an hour later with more apologies but Adalind wasn’t fussed. It was too awkward to stay though so she scooped up a sleepy Kelly and said their goodbyes before heading home.
The fome was empty when they got home and Adalind was tempted to call Nick and check in with him but instead she decided to just get to bed. It was about the right time for Kelly and a bit too early for her but she couldn’t think of anything else to do and honestly, she was emotionally exhausted from all her feelings and thoughts of today.
Kelly went down easily and Adalind took her time with her own ablutions but she was still in bed before she was ready and her mind would not shut off. It wasn’t fair but it wasn’t like she didn’t deserve it. There was a time in her life when she’d put herself and only herself first and if that wasn’t the antithesis to love she wasn’t sure what was. She had a fantastic life now, and she was not going to let a silly date on the calendar change that.
Impulsively she grabbed her phone and sent Nick a text.
We’re home, we love you, happy valentines.
It wasn’t a lot, it wasn’t enough but it was something and it let Adalind settle into sleep.
Very slowly she came to awareness sensing a presence besides her and felt something stroking her hair. She turned her head slightly and blinked up at Nick, who was leaning on the bed next to her and running his fingers through her hair.
“Hi,” she murmured.
“Hey.”
He continued to run his fingers through her hair, slow and steady, and after a few minutes Adalind shifted so she could look up at him better.
“You ok?”
Nick looked down at her, his eyes intense, stare focused. “I have something to ask you.”
“Alright,” Adalind said cautiously, shifting to try and sit up and closer to him.
Nick stopped stroking her hair and reached back behind him before presenting her with a single pink rose. “Adalind, will you be my valentine?”
She blinked several times before she scrambled up and gaped at him. “What?”
Nick grinned slightly, obviously amused at her before he sobered. “I’m sorry I wasn’t with it this week. I’m sorry our Valentine’s is a rose in bed and not something more. But happy Valentine’s Adalind.”
He leaned down and kissed her gently, so gently that it caught the breath in her throat. His nose nudged hers as he changed the angle and smoothly deepened the kiss. Adalind reached up and threaded her hands into his hair, pulling him down as she kissed him back.
“You’re going to crush your rose,” he muttered against her lips.
“Thank you for getting me a rose. But you didn’t need to.”
“You didn’t answer my question.”
Adalind grinned against his lips, flexed her fingers in his hair with one hand and released the other to reach for the rose. Just because he didn’t have to do anything didn’t mean she wasn’t going to be pleased he did. “Yes, I’ll be your valentine. I love you Nick. Thank you for being my valentine.”
“We can go out tomorrow, have a nice meal-“
“No, we don’t have to.”
“Adalind, you deserve a Valentines’. We can-“
“This is lovely,“ Adalind interrupted. “This is exactly right for us, thank you.”
Nick sighed but Adalind couldn’t help but smile. He’d got a rose for her. He’d asked her to be his valentine. It was amazing.
“I don’t need anything grand, I just wanted the thought, wanted it to be real,” she whispered. Thinking about all her negative thoughts from over the past few days she knew she’d gone to a bad place. But here was Nick with a simple gesture and it meant so much. “I love you.”
Nick leant down and kissed her again, pulling her close and chasing away all the bad thoughts. “I love you.”
Together they slipped in their bed and wrapped their arms around each other and Adalind fell asleep with a smile on her face, a rose in her hand and the man she loved besides her.
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