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Carlos came into Charles’ life like a tsunami.
He arrives at Maranello with his easy smiles and his charming personality and makes Charles feel like maybe this time around he would get on with his teammate.
(Not that he didn't get along with Sebastian, but the two of them together under the prancing horse hadn't been a very good idea.)
Carlos is funny, charming and his accent is downright sinful. At first Charles sees him as his rival, someone to beat. But overtime his opinion of the Spaniard changes, it morphs into fondness.
Charles doesn't notice at first, being in the red team means that he has to fight to make sure he stays number one. But slowly and surely as breathing, his opinion on Carlos changed overtime.
Carlos makes him laugh, like full on hard to breathe laugh. He also makes him feel wanted and seen. He feels like Carlos knows who he is deep inside, away from the golden boy of Ferrari persona he has.
Carlos gets him in a way nobody else ever has.
He feels like something is connecting him to Carlos, like an invisible tug on his heart. Something calls to him, leads him to Carlos and promises him he will always be happy.
Charles is a big believer in fate and gods and knows somewhere out there he's destined for greatness. But this tug he feels doesn't feel like the promise of glory, it feels like the promise of home.
Charles knows there's someone out there for him in the universe, he only has to look at Sebastian and Kimi to see that the red string of fate is tightly woven around them.
They've loved each other through every single one of their racing teams. Each one like a new life. No matter what team they were in, they found each other. Even when one of them went to a new sport entirely. Their string was so strong nothing could break them apart.
Charles wanted that for himself as well.
He calls Sebastian the day the news breaks that Carlos was leaving Ferrari. He feels like something has smashed his heart into pieces, it's like he can't breathe properly.
He ends up at Sebastian and Kimi's place in Switzerland, cuddling up to Sebastian as he explains how he's feeling. He feels safe with Sebastian, like no matter what he has to say, the older man would know what to do.
As soon as he explains how his heart feels, Sebastian and Kimi share a knowing look over his head.
“What?” Charles asks, voice a whisper as he looks between the two men he calls family.
“My heart did the same when Kimi left Ferrari the second time.” Sebastian explains in his quiet gentle way. “It was like someone had taken it and squeezed until there was nothing left.”
Charles freezes at his words, his mind going back to when they first become teammates and how cold and distant he was.
Oh. Now that makes sense.
“Guess you found your soulmate, Kid.” Kimi says, looking understandingly at Charles.
Fuck.
Fuck he has fallen in love with Carlos.
It should be a happy revelation, like a puzzle piece that finally fits. But it's not, instead he feels grief.
Did he waste all their years in Ferrari?
He must voice something to this extent as Sebastian shakes his head and presses a gentle kiss to his forehead.
“No you haven't, Charlie. Like I said, I felt this way when Kimi left Ferrari, but you know this wasn't the end of our story.”
“But you were already in love when it happened! I never got to experience that with Carlos in the same team!” Charles feels his stomach drop at the realisation.
“It doesn't mean that you can't have the same love in another team.” Kimi answers, shaking his head.
“But what we had was born in Ferrari.” Charles argues.
“Was it?” Sebastian asks, eyebrow raised. “Think about it.”
Charles does.
All the times Carlos had seeked him out, even when he had been new on the grid. Carlos had always smiled, always talked to him. It had only grown stronger in Ferrari.
Sebastian smiles when Charles comes to the realisation that the red string had always been there. He just hadn't listened.
Fuck.
“Go to him.” Sebastian says, looking into Charles’ eyes. “Fight to be together.”
Charles knows he's right.
He finds Carlos after the car launch, his hands reaching out and gripping the sleeve of his race suit.
“We need to talk.”
Carlos follows him, curiosity in his eyes.
Charles meanwhile thinks his heart is going to fly out of his chest.
“What is it?” Carlos asks, head tilted. Even now he's so in-tune with how Charles feels. “You've been anxious all morning.”
Charles looks around them, at the beautiful red colour adoring the room. He's heard people say Ferrari sacrificed drivers to achieve their aims, it was why everything was bathed in red. He thinks Ferrari have made a mistake in sacrificing Carlos.
“I need to talk to you, alone.”
Carlos looks surprised, but he leads Charles to a quiet room and has the incentive to lock the door. Then he turns to look at Charles, his eyes soft and gentle.
Charles takes a deep breath, trying to control his racing heart. “I've got something to tell you.”
Carlos nods, gesturing to Charles to continue. His eyes hold nothing but trust in them.
Charles clears his throat and says what he had been rehearsing all night.
“You came into my life like a tsunami. You wrecked all my plans at Ferrari and you sucked the air out of my lungs. Yet I don't feel angry at you. I've loved every minute of it.
Being with you as your teammate has been some of the best years of my formula one career. You've pushed me to be the best, made me laugh and smile like no one else and I fucking hate what Ferrari has decided to do. You belong here, with me.”
Charles meets Carlos’ eyes. “I am in love with you and it terrifies me because you're leaving the team and I'm scared that if we try now we won't survive. What if what I felt for you was just because of being in this team? What if you don't have a seat and you're on the sidelines? Would you resent me for not being the one Ferrari kicked out? I want you, but I don't have the answers for all the questions in my head. It scares me, but you can't leave Ferrari without knowing exactly how I feel.”
Charles feels like he hasn't come up for air once, but he feels lighter for telling Carlos the truth. Now came the moment where he would see how Carlos felt in return.
When he looks at the other driver, his breath catches.
Carlos has tears in his eyes.
“You love me?” Carlos whispers, voice so soft and gentle. Like Charles is a frightened bird.
“I do.” Charles nods, clearing his throat. “I think it's always been there.”
“And you think telling me now would ruin us?” Carlos guesses.
Charles looks down at the ground. “Like I said, you don't have a seat yet, the team favour me. Why wouldn't you resent me?”
“Because none of this was your fault?” Carlos asks, moving closer. “You need to come up for air, Carino.”
Charles sucks in a deep breath, realising he's stopped breathing there for a second.
Carlos carefully reaches out, placing his large hand against Charles cheek. “Nothing you could ever do could make me resent you. I feel it too, this connection between us that's against all logic. I never imagined you'd feel the same way I do.”
Charles’ head spins. “You like me?”
“Always have done, from the moment I saw you. Why do you think I kept seeking you out? Being together in Ferrari was more than I ever dreamed of happening.”
Charles feels like his legs don't work. All these words coming from Carlos feeling unreal. “Carlos….”
Carlos leans in closer, brushing their noses together. “You need to take a leap of faith, Carino. Just because we will be in different teams doesn't mean that what we will have won't be strong. Look at Sebastian and Kimi.”
Charles has done, numerous times, and he knows Carlos is right.
“Take that leap. See where things take us.” Carlos lifts his head gently so that their eyes meet. Charles feels that inexplicable tug again, leading him to close the gap to Carlos.
Their lips meet and Charles swears he feels fireworks go off all around them.
The string finally feels slack, no more tugging. There's nowhere else for it to go.
End of 2024
Charles leads Carlos up the garden path to Sebastian and Kimi's house, his smile bright as he points out various flowers Sebastian is growing.
Kimi watches them come up the path, giving a little hum. “They're happy.”
“That's good.” Sebastian moves over to him, watching the two young men. “Think it will last?”
Charles stops Carlos before they ring the bell, gently brushing the hair out of his eyes before they share a sweet kiss.
“I have no doubt.” Kimi replies, smiling when he feels the string connecting him to Sebastian tug.
Yeah, they would last. Forever.