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"... you are sooooooo tall!" The puppet tilts its head coquettishly, and Izuna bites his lip to hide his smile. "You have a lovely deep voice too, so different from my Kermit!"
"... thank you?" Tobirama doesn't seem to know quite how to deal with Miss Piggy on a charm offensive, much less when she's flirting with him so aggressively, but he's clearly doing his best. "I think?"
"Don't think so hard sweetie, just revel in your good looks!" She - it's impossible to think of her as anything else, everyone was right to warn them about the instinct to treat the puppets like real interviewers - tosses her golden curls in an almost violent manner. "Like I do, see?"
"We do see," Izuna rubs his cheek against his boyfriend's shoulder, so easy when they're arm in arm like this, and gives her an exaggerated frowning pout. "But I can't have you flirting with my man like this, Miss Piggy, even if you are the most lovely pig in all the world!"
"Oh!" She blinks rapidly, batting ridiculously long eyelashes at him. "A man with good taste I see! How would you like to be my arm candy instead of his?"
"It's always a joy to be appreciated isn't it?" Izuna leans into her confidingly. "I'm sure you know that as well as I do!"
"I absolutely do!" She sings the words, leaning back into him as hard as she can, despite being pretty much tethered to the podium they set up to hide her puppeteer. "Which is why I think you and I could be wonderful friends! How about it?"
"... Miss Piggy." Tobirama coughs into his hand, looking embarrassed and determined in equal measure. "Izuna is my boyfriend and my date tonight. I'd appreciate if you didn't try to steal him away from me."
"Aw!" She droops, showing her disappointment, but coos at his blushing cheeks. "You're cute too! You boys don't have to split up - I have two arms!"
"Unfortunately, I don't share well." Tobirama steps back and Izuna follows, waving a cheeky goodbye as his boyfriend tows him down the red carpet at a pace just a little too fast for decorum.
"Are you actually running away from Miss Piggy?" Izuna whispers under his breath as cameras flash all around them. "At the premier of our movie?"
"... maybe." Tobirama murmurs back, waving at the giant crowd of press that's gathered for The Fourth War. "She was flirting with you."
"She was flirting with both of us." Izuna laughs under his breath, delighted. "And you're jealous of a muppet!"
His boyfriend ducks his head and Izuna chuckles as he follows Tobirama into the darkened theatre.
He's never going to let Tobirama forget this.
Ever.