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After the war things were complicated for Naruto. For instance, he didn’t know anything about politics nor how to deal with all the paperwork that being a Hokage include. Long were the hours he had to spent reading and revising the law, talking with the clan leaders and the civil council, and Kami, if he didn’t want to just leave the room, go to his apartment and eat ramen. But he couldn’t, he was the hero of the world, and apparently that meant dealing with people’s problems.
He sighs, leaning in the chair of the Hokage, it wasn’t even his yet, but Kakashi thought it would be a good idea that he had this so called practice, which was basically Kakashi leaving everything to him so he could go and relax, and read Icha-Icha. Fuck that book.
Looking at the window from his office, Naruto cannot help but wondered if this is what he had always wanted, being isolated in a room doing unstoppable paper work, dealing with people who used to insult him not long ago but that now were all over him as if he was some kind of divinity, it made him feel weird, put off even. He barely has time to see his friends nowadays, they all grew up, working on their own fields or with missions. Shikamaru was about to get married, that was so unimaginable back then… but yet again, they were in their twenties now, no longer kids playing around and having big dreams, but adults trying to live their best life after everything. He sighed again, his blue eyes lingering in what used to be the Uchiha residence, it was no longer usable, as the Pain attack destroyed what was left, now it was just a dark, almost gloomy place, almost like a cemetery. He left out an unamused laugh ‘it is actually kind of a cemetery…’
His mind couldn’t help but wondered to the only Uchiha left, how long was since he had last seen Sasuke correctly? He couldn’t remember. More than two years probably, to imagine he spent three years looking for him, urging for him and begging his forgiveness to the Kages, only so he’ll leave once he was back, once they were together again. Sometimes, Naruto wishes he had gone with him, they’ll be together, away from the village that, even thought he had loved more than almost anything, had hurt them so much. Sometime, when it was dark in the night, when he knew nobody was seeing him, he wishes Sasuke had offered him his hand, his only hand, to him. Not to look at him with those dimly beautiful eyes of him, asking, without any need of words, an apology for letting him behind, again.
In that time, he smiled, looking at him with affection, an affection he had not understand back then, but that now, seemed way to clear for him. In that time, he just stood there, watching his everything go, without understanding completely the hurt in his heart.
Naruto shook his head, he needed to finish his work, he couldn’t let his mind wondered in what could have been, things were like that and there was nothing he could possibly do. He took one paper from the pile and started reading it. ‘One of almost two hundred… why again did I wanted this?’
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It was night fell when he finished everything, the desk was properly tidy, the papers were divided between what need to be done and the nonsense the civil council asked. Fortunately, the clan leathers calm down from what was years ago, Naruto will prefer to be killed by Madara than to deal with the nightmare that was Hiashi Hyuga.
He took his things, his old headband that he no longer uses, but represents too much to just leave in his home, and his jackets, and walked away from what, someday, will be his office. He just hopes he will learn to love his job, it was his dream after all, so it can’t be that difficult, or at least he tries to convince himself of that.
As he walked in the night, he looks at the kids playing, as if there was no bad in the world, as if everything was fine and the war didn’t happened at all. One kid runs into him, almost felling if it wasn’t for Naruto’s help.
“Are you okay kiddo?”
The kid look up at him, the recognition cross his eyes as his face light up with admiration, he nods profusely and declares he will, one day, be like him. Naruto’s smiles as he looked at the boy run up to his friends, as if he had just met a celebrity. I guess I am quite a celebrity though. As he sees how the kids go running past the road with big smiles, similar to those Naruto used to have at that age, a sense of fulfilment arise in him. ‘This… this is why I want to stay… for their happiness, for them to smile like that.’
With a soft look in his face, he continued walking, his headband saved in his pocket, sometimes acting more like a chain than an object that made him feel proud. He just brushed off those thoughts, they weren’t necessary, he had already made his choice. The lights from the different stands of the villages blur as passed by, not really paying attention to where he was going, lost in memories from the past, when things used to be happier, simpler.
His legs, always traitors, brought him to the Uchiha clan residence. He doubted a bit before entering, the inhabited district greet him. Most of the houses were destroyed, as nobody care to reconstruct them, why would they? They were no Uchiha left to live there apart from Sasuke. ‘Not that he stays in the village’. He thought bitterly, Sasuke never stays too long, he just gives some informs, rest for no more than two days and goes away again. ‘Abandoning me…’
He continued walking, the air was dense, and the weight of the crimes committed there felt more real, not as some kind of story, not as if it was just a document, but a reality. He cannot help but understand a bit more why Sasuke left. Konoha was the reason his family was killed, the reason why his brother suffer, and the reason why he thought he needed to kill him. In the darkness of the night, in a place to far away from the curious and judgmental eyes, Naruto cried softly. He didn’t understand nor care why he was crying, but he knew he just had to.
After a few breaths, he calm down and continued walking until he reached the river. ‘Sasuke used to be here after the massacre, sitting lonely… like me’. He reached the place where he remember seeing Sasuke and lay there, wondering how things may have been if he had tried harder, if they were friends back then, if they both weren’t so childish and stubborn. Naruto looked at the sky, it was as dark as his hair, yet, as bright as his eyes. He scoffed, when had he turned such a cursi person? Ero-senin would be laughing in his face if he was there.
As he watched the sky, Naruto wondered if Sasuke was seeing it too, at least that would mean they share something, even if he was days away. At least, he thought with a bit of hope, ‘we are both watching the same sky, at least we share something’.
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Sasuke hated the village, he hated what it represented, the pain they caused to him, to his brother, to his family and clan. He hated how they lived so happily knowing, or maybe without knowing, which it made it worse, how that happiness came from his suffering. The village his brother had so fiercely protected hated him. How the council was nothing but corrupts, and how the Hokage was a lazy and disgusting all man or a drunk bet-addict old lady. But that had change, somehow, it has. Even if civils still dislike him or his brother, the shinobis still respect Itachi, not him, of course, they’ll never do that, only an idiot will respect and like him. An idiot like Naruto.
The thought of him made him stopped walking. Naruto, his best friend, his soulmate, the only good thing that horrible village could ever dream to have. Sasuke fail to understand how someone so kind and good could grow in a shinobi world. How could someone not resent the village that had mistreated him since the day he was born? How could someone as good as him like someone as broke as Sasuke?
With almost a smile he remembered how they used to fight, Naruto shouting as if he was deaf, being as bright as the sun without any of the worries that would come in the future. Sasuke was more… obnoxious. He can admit that, but they complemented each other, when they were not shouting at each other, that’s it. He can remember, thought mussy, how Naruto held him during the land of Waves mission. Maybe, his feelings originated back then. He felt, for the first time in years, safe. He was bleeding, probably on the verge of dying, but he felt secured, selflessly cared for. And the worst part was that it wasn’t even a onetime thing, Naruto continued being like that. Even when everything was falling apart, even when the kages wanted him executed, Naruto, somehow, found the kindness in his heart to continuing loving him. Even after Sasuke tried to kill him, even when they both almost die, he continued caring for him. And what could Sasuke do with all that unconditional love? He didn’t deserved it, so he run away, as he had always done. ‘I’m nothing but a coward’.
He lets the breath out, not knowing that he had been keeping it. He looked up at the sky and smiled. It was as blue and bright as the person whose eyes resembled. He didn’t usually smiled, but something about this loneliness made him feel this way, nostalgic. Sometimes, he remembers how Naruto looked at him when he left the village. All of the two times he did it. Sasuke wonders if he knew how his hair looked under both the moon and the sun. How his golden locks moved with the wind, the seriousness of his first time leaving, his promise to bring him back, his pleas for him to stay, to not let him alone. And then how he looked at him in the second, a happy yet resigned smile curving in his tan face as he gave him his headband, the one he left behind. He remembers looking at him with embarrassment, he was a horrible person, yet he looked at him as if Sasuke was everything he ever wanted, as if nothing else mattered, as if all those people in the village didn’t mean anything to him. And Sasuke… he couldn’t even say anything. He wanted Naruto to go with him, he wanted to plea him to follow Sasuke. ‘Leave this place and come with me, this people never understand us, they’ll never do…’ But he didn’t say anything, he couldn’t do that to Naruto, the village was everything to him, even if eyes said other thing. He wanted to be Hokage, and Sasuke can’t take that from him. He couldn’t.
So he left and never looked back. They still look at each other in those weird occasions when Sasuke went to Konoha. But it wasn’t the same, maybe it will never be the same. They still have that unbreakable bond, but sometimes the line between friendship and something else was fuzzy. The fingers lingered a bit more than what it was acceptable in some places. The air seemed a bit too heavy and the touches not as friendly as it should be. Those memories were like fuel for him, allowing him to continue even if everything seemed too much, but it also made him crave him even more. His face, his touch, his voice, everything. His kindness, how his eyes light up when he look at ramen. ‘Or at me’. And the fact that he tasted something he shouldn’t have, someone he couldn’t have, was killing him.
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Kakashi was tired. Not only was he forced into a position he frankly didn’t want, not only there were no more Icha-Icha books for him to read, but he had to also deal with teenage angst. If he had known that being a Sensei will brought that much stress to his life, he would have thought about it twice. ‘Not that I will actually have been able to refuse it, Hiruzen wouldn’t have allowed me to’. He sighs, his life was certainly a bad joke, but he guessed every shinobi´s life was a joke. And at least he wasn’t cultivated in a glass capsule with some old man cells like Yamato.
“And” -He said looking at the trees in front of him- “he also deal with Naruto by himself… that’s way worse”
He sometimes wondered if they’ll ever date properly. Everyone guessed that they had a thing for one another. It’s obvious. The way they look at each other, how they stop when the other passes by, how they immediately recognize their chakras. Kakashi was once unfortunate enough to be in the same room as those two. He almost took of his eyes to stop seeing the way they interacted, and the atmosphere, Kami, it was like seeing a real life scene of a romantic novel, when the Husband returns from a trip and encounters with his partner. It was gross, obvious and completely unnecessary for him to be there. But somehow, they still acted as if they were just friends. ‘Just friends my ass’.
The worst part? They acted as if nobody knew, as if they couldn’t be with the other person. And everyone in the village knew. They were even some bet groups for when they would actually start dating. Kakashi hopes not in two month, he didn’t want to lose against Guy, he was already winning, and he didn’t need more.
So, as a petty revenge for forcing Kakashi to witness all that, he makes Naruto deal with all his paperwork so he can rest. He had to admit, Naruto did a pretty good job, he was diligent and finished everything. Yet, he seemed less exited than before. That spark he had when he said he would became the Hokage appears to have gone. There’s an acceptance that didn’t quite matched Naruto.
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“Naruto and Sasuke are idiots”
That was Sakura response every time she was asked what the hero of the Konoha or the last Uchiha were. After that, they’ll stare at her blankly and walked away, as if her answer had no real weight on their opinion, she will roll her eyes and just continue with her work. If Ino asked her, she will repeat the same statement, but adding how much of a pain their “I’m in love with you but I refused to tell you anything about it” relationship was. She loved those two idiots, yes, but for Kami´s sake if it wasn’t painful to watch them. She loved Naruto, maybe a little more than what she loved Sasuke, but that was acceptable, he had always been there for her, and she was there for him, but, dear, he was even worse than her and Ino combined in their worst moment. And she meant it. Sakura, therefore, was actually getting tired of her two friends´ shit. So, when Kakashi approach her with a plan, she accepted it.
----
Turns out, she should have thought it twice before agreeing. In her team there weren’t just two idiots, but three, and Kakashi was the worst of them when he sets his mind into something. So now, she was in what used to be the team seven´s place to reunite, wondering what sort of karma was getting up to her, forcing this nonsense into her life. The plan? Ask Sasuke to come thanks to an unexpected secret mission they need him to complete while Naruto was training to be the Hokage. ‘More like doing all the job while Kakashi reads his ridiculous books’. She snored at the thought of that, punching Kakashi just in case.
She agrees, not really having any better idea not wanting to think much of it. She knew that Kakashi was actually acting because he will won something rather than actually helping them, but it wasn’t her problem, so she didn’t questioned it.
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Sasuke receive a message that his presence was needed in Konoha. He sighs, he really wasn’t fond of returning to his village, he much rather preferred to continue exploring the world, but at least he would be able to see Naruto once again. That was enough to bring into his face a subtle smile. He used his Rinnegan and was back to the Hidden Leaf, the noisy streets could be heard from the entrance. He nods as she sees the Door guys, he had never really learned their names.
When he arrived to the Hokage tower, he felt Naruto´s bright and welcoming chakra. He was inside the office, probably doing all the paperwork Kakashi gave him. As he entered the Hokage office without knocking, he was greeted by the lonely silhouette of Naruto, Kakashi was nowhere to be seen. Naruto raised his head, his eyes shining as he looked at Sasuke, as if he was the only thing that was worth paying attention in the room.
“Naruto, where’s Kakashi, he send a message asking for my presence.”
Sasuke spoke as if those blue eyes had no effect in him, as if he wasn’t just about to run into his arms and kissed him, as if everything was normal. He went back to reality when he heard Naruto scoffed.
“That asshole… No, Kakashi-sensei is not here, I’m in charge until next week Sasuke. And unfortunately for you, he didn’t mentioned you would come nor left anything regarding a mission and you.”
Naruto responded unapologetically. Sasuke just stared at him blankly. Great, now he had to stay in this horrible village a little longer. His eyes went from the window to Naruto, who seem to have been packing his things. As soon as his gazes crossed, Naruto smiled.
“Well, why don’t we go get some ramen? I’ll pay, don’t worry.”
‘If I just need to stay a few days,’ - Sasuke thought a warm sensation grew inside him- ‘at least I would be able to see that smile’.
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Naruto was over the moon. Sasuke had come back, and six month in advance! He was happy to see him after all that time, and Kakashi wasn’t present, so he could do as he pleased. He walk with Sasuke through the streets, trying to act as calm as possible. ‘I´m a grown man for God´s sake, not a teenager’. He stole glances at Sasuke, trying to memorize all his features before he goes away, again.
Both of them reach Ichiraku, where they take their orders and sit down. They talk, about nonsense, Naruto wasn’t sure what they could talk most of the days. The weather? He tells Sasuke about Shikamaru´s wedding with Temari, whom he had to describe to Sasuke as he didn’t know who she was. Naruto shouldn’t find that as adorable as he does, but nobody needs to know that. They just talk, senseless talk, until they finish and Naruto pays the bill, because of course Sasuke recall that. He giggles at his petty remark and they walk away.
The streets were darker than when they enter into the restaurant, had time always pass that fast when he is with Sasuke? He doesn’t know. A look at the street shows that almost all the little business had already close. There were no curious eyes to look at them, nobody gossiping about them. In a little act of bravery, he takes Sasuke´s hand and guides him to the team seven training field, a place he knows nobody would go.
The feeling of Naruto´s hand in his made his heart race. He looked around, worried someone may discover them, but as only the darkness of the night return his gaze, he ignored that feeling and followed Naruto, not letting go of his hand even when they sit down. ‘If I had known this is how his hand felt, I would have offered mine to him back then, I would have accepted his sooner’. Sasuke just shook his head, there was no use in thinking what things could have been, he would have to satisfy with little moments like this, moments he´ll treasure in his mind.
“Sasuke… I´ve missed you, you know?”
Those words will always give him an uneasy feeling. For instance, Naruto missed him, he wanted him, but on the other hand, it meant Sasuke never failed to make him feel bad. He knew Naruto missed him, he could see it, but he could not return to the Leaf; there were too many bad memories, too much suffering.
“You know I can’t come back Naruto…”
He replied, his voice lowered, trying to make Naruto understand him, he loved him, but he cannot live in this place, not for now at least, maybe someday, when the smell of blood isn’t so palpable, when the memories of his past don’t haunt him. But not now.
“Then, why don’t you ask me to go with you? Do I cause you the same suffering? Does seeing me hurts you?”
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Naruto knew his words would hurt him, but he needed to know, why was he always running? What about him was never enough for him to stay by his side? He said that out loud. Maybe it was him getting tired of this, tired of Sasuke running away. Maybe it was the excess of work that made him more vulnerable of his own emotions. He didn’t know, nor did he care right now, so he looked at him, his eyes narrowing as he stare at him.
“I love you Naruto, you know that. But you can’t come with me.”
“Why? Am I not enough Sasuke? Not enough to be with you? Was I ever enough Sasuke?”
His voice trembled, he bit his lip, trying to stop the sudden necessity to cry. ‘Kami, had I always been a cry-baby?’
“It´s not like that! You know it! But your dreams Naruto… you are at nothing to become the Hokage. You cannot just leave all that for someone like me!”
Sasuke voice rise up, Naruto just looked at him, his heart aching even though he to stop it, even when he wanted it to stop. His eyes tear up as he watched Sasuke lose a bit of his calm composure.
“I’m not sure I want to be the Hokage anymore…”- Naruto suspire tiredly, it was the first time he confess that to someone. - “Don’t get me wrong! I love the people and the kids, especially the kids… they are so happy, you know? But I cannot do it, not now… they used to despise me, they hated me so much… and now, somehow they love me, and I don’t know how to feel about that…”
Naruto looked away, to the commemorative rock Kakashi used to stare for hours. He could feel Sasuke´s deep eyes piercing him, he didn’t look at him, not wanting to see his expression. ‘When had I became such a coward…?’
“I just… I don’t think that’s what I want now…”
“And what do you want then”
His voice was soft, as if he was talking to something precious. He inhales and exhales slowly, trying to find the right words to use.
“I want to be with you, Sasuke.”
Naruto could see the surprise in Sasuke´s eyes, there was something else there too, a slightly and weakly hope. He watch Sasuke recompose and straighten his back.
“In that case”- Sasuke held out his hand to him, a soft smile appear in his lips, and Naruto couldn’t help but to stare. - “Would you like to come with me, Naruto?”
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The next day, kakashi woke up to find a letter from Naruto asking to meet him at their old training field. He smiled, he had won his bet with Guy. He slowly, almost lazily put on his clothes and got ready. When he arrived to the designed place, it had already past two hours. He was received by an angry Sakura, a guilty and embarrassed Naruto and a pleased Sasuke. The last two holding their hands together. Kakashi wanted to throw off. Yes, they used to be obvious, but now they seem they had no reason to hide it, which meant one thing: it would be worse.
“Kakashi-sensei… I’m retiring from my Hokage training. I want to travel with Sasuke…”
Now that was a love sight if he had ever seen one. Absolutely gross. ‘Bet Minato was glad we didn’t went through this, although that was probably because we all died, and he too, before it could happen…’
Kakashi sighs, for the lack of surprise in Sakura ´s face, she had probably been told about that before. And agree, if the silent threads from her were a sing.
“I guess I cannot stop you from leaving Konoha… but still, you’ll have to respond to missions and diplomatic duties in other villages.”
Naruto´s smile, one he hadn’t seen in months, almost was enough to compensate the fact that he’ll have to do his work properly, almost. He nodded and walk away, ready to tell Guy he had lost and ask Kurenai for the money she owed him. Maybe it wasn’t that bad that they were now officially dating, or at least not trying to hide it.