Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

There was no universe where they never went to Japan. Even if the Bastard München Youth team chose not to attend Blue Lock’s Neo Egoist League, Michael would have found a way. That was just the kind of person he was. The one who revealed the “impossible,” God’s chosen emperor, and Alexis’ glorious striker. Wherever Michael went, his faithful servant would follow, a balance Alexis would commit to for as long as he could. Still, Alexis couldn’t help feeling contempt for everyone in the facility. Those poor excuses for soccer players could never hold a candle to Michael, yet they never offered him the loyalty he deserved. The magician was initially going to let it slide the first time the orange Noa copy tried to score on his own, but it seemed to open a floodgate for everyone to challenge Michael’s authority.

Don’t even get Alexis started on Isagi Yoichi. That damned Yoichi. The audacity he showed since their first game against FC Barcha was infuriating. One goal against the weak Japanese national team seemed to go straight to his head with the way Yoichi charged between Noa and Lavinho. Honestly, Alexis couldn’t understand what anyone saw in the short striker. And as much as he hates to admit it, Kaiser was completely inscrutable when it came to Yoichi.

Alexis couldn’t recall the last time he went outside to experiment. Inside, the facility was stifling, and the lack of windows made him feel trapped. He wanted to go back to Germany and practice the magic he so dearly missed. A small cough escaped his lips at the thought of the spells he could be casting if it wasn’t for the league.

Lately, Alexis felt as if there was something lodged in his throat. He could breathe, yet it was as if there was a looming discomfort. No matter how many times he cleared his throat, nothing changed. All he would receive were strange looks from Michael before being dismissed again. Most of the time, when he and Michael were alone, Alexis felt perfectly healthy, yet one mention or glance at that shitty clown made Alexis’ chest collapse onto himself.

So what if he was allergic to Yoichi? That was fine by him. He never wanted to be near the striker in the first place. But no matter how much the midfielder wanted to keep away, Michael was too intrigued like a moth to a flame. Alexis’ chest hurt by how much attention Yoichi was given, only to brush it off.

The brief coughing fits hardy got in the way of practice, so Alexis, as expected, made the starting lineup for the game against Manshine City. Everything went fine until it didn’t. It was disgusting.

Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting.

For the so-called “Heart of Blue Lock,” all he had managed for himself were assists. There was no reason for Michael to continue looking at him. If all Yoichi could handle were assisting other strikers, he would never make it to Michael’s level. It was the blatant truth that wouldn’t change anytime soon.

So why did Kaiser say he was in the wrong again? Grabbing his head and making him essentially bow towards Yoichi – Alexis wanted to hurl. And as if to add insult to injury, Alexis was tossed to the side only for Yoichi to be caught with Kaiser’s other hand. If he wasn’t going to throw up before, something was surely rising in his throat now.

Without waiting for Kaiser, Alexis rushed to the locker rooms. He could feel his jersey sticking to his back from his sweat, but he couldn’t care less. Rushing over to the nearest toilet, Alexis keeled over in pain. Each dry wheeze he let out seemed to squeeze his esophagus tighter. Feeling something brush the back of his mouth, Alexis began to gag. He always had a strong gag reflex, and whatever was escaping his throat was too solid to be saliva or mucus.

With one last cough, Alexis looked into the toilet bowl to see the object of his suffering, only to stare in confusion at the single blue petal floating on the water's surface. There was never a moment in recent times that Alexis had consumed any flowers, and he didn’t believe the Blue Lock facility had any on hand in the first place. He continued to observe the single petal, wondering about its existence, when he heard a commotion outside.

The rest of Bastard had come back from the field and were changing back into their regular attire. Alexis hadn’t realized he still had his Mikage translators in until he heard one of the Blue Lock players mention Yoichi. Apparently, Michael had decided to personally drop Yoichi off at Noa’s room instead of changing.

Before he could make any scathing remark about the over-exerted athlete who didn’t know his limits, Alexis was hit with another wave of hacking. The coughing fit lasted much longer than the last, as four new petals fell into the bowl. Constantly gagging on the corolla, Alexis felt his stomach churn as saliva leaked from his mouth. His stomach was too empty for anything else to join the petals, making Alexis resort to dry heaving instead.

“Uh, Ness?” A voice outside, probably Gesner, knocked on the stall door. “Are you good in there? You left the field pretty fast.”

Alexis wiped the drool from his mouth. “I just feel tired. There’s no need for you to worry.” His voice came out much rougher than he expected, but he ignored his slip-up, hoping Gesner wouldn’t comment on it.

A shuffle sounded from the other side as Gesner hesitated to leave. “Okay, but the team’s going to the cafeteria if you want to catch up later. I’m just letting you know since Kaiser seems to have left already.”

“Just leave!” Alexis gritted his teeth, waiting to hear Gesner’s footsteps fade away before letting out two more petals to join the pile. Alone once again, Alexis watched the petals drift in defeat, trying to find a cause for his current predicament. His eyes lightened up when he realized. There was no explanation for the petals. It was impossible for them to appear, and yet...

“It’s magic,” Alexis whispered, a grin stretching across his face. Though painful in its origin, Alexis couldn’t help the giggle that escaped him. It had never been an allergy in the first place. “Magic! It’s magi-” He choked on his words as more coughs escaped his lips, yet Alexis couldn’t care less. He was so delighted by the prospect of managing the impossible by himself that he disregarded the pain in his throat.

Understanding the truth that a spell had been cast on him, Alexis began to examine the flower petals. They were a vibrant blue, just like Michael’s tattoo.

“Right! I have to tell Michael about this,” Alexis conceded, standing up. He winced at the image of Michael’s face contorted in disgust when Alexis would have to literally cough up the evidence of magic. “He’ll understand, though. And then, his eyes will be on me again!”

Alexis paused. If Kaiser hadn’t returned to the locker rooms yet to change, he probably wouldn’t want to be bothered for the rest of the night. Trying to bother him at this time would just spell trouble, a chance Alexis was not going to take.

Realizing he was still in his uniform, he turned to flush away any evidence of his coughing fits and returned to the main locker room. At this point, everyone had already finished, leaving Alexis to be alone. While he had grown used to the feeling of loneliness growing up, it had been a while since he had been apart from Michael as well. He felt another bout of petals rise in his chest. He was excited to see Michael’s reaction when he saw the petals.

Chapter Text

The first thing Alexis did when he woke up was to grab his water bottle and down the rest of it. He still felt slightly tired; the last time he checked his phone was when he got up to refill his bottle at around two in the morning. It would have been better if he had only stopped to check the time, but instead, his curiosity got the better of him.

He spent the rest of the witching hour scrolling through Twitter, reading what the fans had thought of the League so far. He absorbed everything from commentary on their next opponents to the opinions about whether Yoichi should become a midfielder. Even if fans wanted him paired with Noa, Alexis couldn’t help the image of Yoichi replacing him by Michael’s side. The water from his quickly emptying bottle rushed down his throat, dislodging any remaining discomfort.

It would be fine. Yoichi would be left in the dust once Michael saw the miracle Alexis was blessed with. Then, everything could be how it was before with just the two of them in the picture. Alexis calmed his mind as he drifted off into slumber sometime between his affirmations.

Opening his eyes, he realized he had woke up much later than he was ever used to. Most of his teammates were already out and about, lightly celebrating another win under their belt. When Alexis entered the cafeteria where everyone chose to congregate, however, he immediately noticed the lack of Michael’s presence.

“Does anyone know where Kaiser is?” Alexis approached the table full of Germans, hoping one of them had an answer.

“Kaiser? Isn’t he usually with you?” Sachs was the first to pipe up. “You two are always together, so we thought you were off doing whatever again.”

This only made Alexis internally sigh. He wouldn’t have asked if he was with Michael, but Sachs was right. They were always together–until recently. Too much had changed recently, and Alexis wasn’t sure if he could handle any more. Feeling another bout of coughs rise, Alexis covered his mouth, quickly excusing himself from the confused group of players. He waited until he was standing in the hallways before letting his throat work its magic. If the unnatural night hadn’t convinced Alexis, the falling petals certainly confirmed his predicament. Only when he stopped coughing did he focus on the matter at hand.

Usually, Alexis would not be concerned that no one had seen Michael since he was never a social person, preferring solitude over stooping down to the commoners’ level. However, because no one had seen him that day, Alexis had a feeling Michael hadn't even stopped by the cafeteria at all. That wouldn’t do. Michael had to stay healthy to be in peak condition, so skipping meals is not an option.

He first checked the training room they used the most often together before moving on to their field. Both areas were empty, leaving him only the monitor room to check. To Michael, bedrooms were merely places to sleep. So, he rarely wasted time there, instead, taking Alexis to wherever piqued his interest that day. As expected, when Alexis stopped by the room to pick up the glasses Michael often overlooked, the room was empty. Taking that information with a grain of salt, he headed to the monitor room.

When he opened the door, Alexis was immediately greeted by multiple screens showing shots of Yoichi from the game against Manshine City. His expression dimmed, knowing that Yoichi once again had captivated Michael this much. Had Michael even eaten today, or was he just drinking alcohol this whole time? Stupid Yoichi and his stupid influence. He can’t even see how much hard work Michael puts into the games they play.

“Sorry to interrupt,” Alexis vocalized, presenting Michael’s blue light glasses. “I admire your dedication to going over the game film, but you’re stressing out your eyes, Kaiser.”

Thanking him, Michael put on his glasses, absentmindedly stating, “That’s one of the things I like about you.”

Alexis felt his heart flutter. Whatever bundle of flowers existed in his chest before felt almost nonexistent as he lit up at the praise. Yoichi could never. Tuning back into The conversation, Alexis listened as Michael commented on all of his victories against weak challengers in his way. He was confused as to why Michael was repeating information they both knew but continued to listen quietly. Anything Michael said was important, so there was no need for him to interrupt.

Of course, the one time Michael did ask Alexis about something, it was about Isagi Yoichi. He was shamelessly delusional. Never in his life could he surpass Michael. And yet, when Alexis voiced these truths, he was still doused in Michael’s drink.

The alcohol from the martini burned Alexis’ eyes as he cautiously wiped it away. He tried holding back the whimpers, knowing it would place Kaiser in a worse mood, but he couldn’t help as his sensitive tear ducts made his eyes water. It hurt, yet the blooming pain in his chest seemed to invade Alexis’ senses, reminding him of the respiratory attacks he experienced earlier. Kaiser, however, didn’t even notice, his eyes remaining glued on Yoichi’s statistics as he continued speaking.

Alexis’ mind jumped back and forth, failing to focus on his pain and Michael’s words simultaneously. Yoichi? A game master? What was Kaiser talking about? He tried to make sense of their conversation, reminding Kaiser of his superior strength in comparison to the Japanese striker. The blond merely raised his drink again and questioned Alexis once more. “Why did I decide to come play at Blue Lock?”

And wasn’t that the question Alexis had been asking this whole time? Nonetheless, he gave Kaiser the response he desired: either to prove he was on par with Noel Noa or to leave Bastard München. But that wouldn’t mean leaving Alexis behind too, would it?

Alexis pushed the thought out of his mind, knowing Kaiser’s career was far larger and more important than something like their friendship. But even with this rational thought, Alexis’ chest ached, thinking about their separation. He was stuck between making a quick exit to clear out his lungs or staying to hear out whatever Kaiser wanted. As usual, however, it seemed as if Kaiser chose him.

“You’re finally big enough to eat, Yoichi.” He was in his world now, so lost in his thoughts that Alexis doubted his exit was acknowledged.

Alexis only made it one step out of the room before doubling over in agony. He couldn’t take it anymore. “Fuck you, Yoichi,” he seethed in anger. His teeth gnawed on his lips, a poor habit he had yet to break. Before Alexis could split his lips, though, his neck dipped in pain as he coughed up more petals. His lungs constricted, and each hack was covered by sweaty palms. Pulling back, Alexis was met with the new usual sight of petals. What was the outlier this time, because Alexis’ life will always be full of adventure and spontaneity, was the blood. His blood.

Shit. He couldn’t show Kaiser this. No matter how mystical it was, Kaiser would be nothing short of furious if Alexis tried to shove bloody petals into his face. Instead, the magician made a break for the locker rooms. It was getting harder to breathe, but he pushed through, knowing he would be able to cough all he wanted in the privacy of a stall. He just had to make sure he could get there first. They had just played a game last night, so Alexis knew no one, besides maybe the edgy ginger guy, would be on the fields or anywhere near the locker rooms.

No one should be training, so why—just why—did Alexis have to run into the last person he wanted to see in this God-forsaken facility?

“うわ、ごめん。え、ネス？ここで何してるの？” Isagi fucking Yoichi stuck out his hand for the fallen Alexis to take. He merely batted it away, though; as if he would ever want the bastard’s help. Seeing his initial rejection, the striker thankfully had some brain cells in use as he backed away. Instead of leaving, however, he decided to stay like the pest he was. “待って！血？やばい、保健室に行ったほうがいいよ。”

Alexis continued to glare at Yoichi while the other waited for a response. The two continued to stare at each other for a minute before Alexis finally spoke. “What…. What the fuck are you saying?” Alexis wasn’t expecting to meet any of the Blue Lock players on their off day, let alone Yoichi, so his translators were on the other side of the stratum in his room.

When Yoichi came to the same realization, he looked panicked. He waved his arms around before spouting, in accented, broken English, “Stay here.” He then began to run toward the dorms, leaving Alexis to be alone again.

“Stupid Yoichi, thinking I’d listen to his orders,” Alexis grumbled. He defiantly entered the locker rooms. The brief encounter with Yoichi managed to distract Alexis, and it seemed like his coughing subsided. Cleaning up, the magician erased any signs of illness. He worked in silence as he washed his hands, flushed down more petals, and rinsed away the metallic taste of blood. Before Alexis could leave without a trace, however, Yoichi burst into the locker room, startling the German. In his hands were another pair of micro-interpreters that he passed to Alexis. Reluctantly putting them in, he decided to grace Yoichi with his time and hear what he had to say.

“So,” Off to a great start, Yoichi started to fiddle with his hands. “Are you okay, Ness? That was definitely blood I saw earlier.”

“Oh? Shitty Yoichi’s worried about me?” Alexis began to deflect, already wanting this conversation to end as soon as it started. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, so let’s just go on with our days like nothing happened.”

Yoichi didn’t get the memo, however, as he grabbed Alexis’ wrist before he could brush past him towards the exit. “Ness, I know what I saw earlier. You need to go to the infirmary.”

The fucking audacity Yoichi had held no bounds, apparently, so Alexis decided to politely inform him of that fact. “Listen here, Isagi. You need to learn how to mind your fucking business.” With the last syllables, Alexis jabbed his finger into Isagi’s chest, stepping closer. “If I say I’m fine, then drop it. Have you ever obeyed a single order in your life? You untrained mutt.”

“Funny coming from you, the biggest lapdog I know,” Yoichi pushed back at Alexis. “And for your information, it does concern me. As the team's midfielder, you handle most of the passes. If you're sick, you’ll drag the team down with you.” That was the last straw for Alexis.

“Is that all you ever talk about? ‘Fußball. Fußball. Fußball.’ Honestly, what does Kaiser see in you?” Alexis could feel phlegm form at the back of his throat, but he swallowed it back, reaching to brag Yoichi by the shoulders instead. “I hate you so much. I hate the way that you keep challenging Kaiser and that he only talks about you!”

Isagi, trying to stay balanced, grabbed Alexis’ wrists, trying to push him back. “What the fuck are you talking about, Ness?” At this point, however, Alexis wasn’t listening anymore.

“Why does it have to be you, dammit.” Tears welled up in Alexis’ eyes, frustrating him even more. He didn’t want to cry in front of Yoichi. “Why… Why won’t he look at me anymore?”

And as if that was his cue in a play, Alexis was hit with everything all at once. Tears streamed down his face uncontrollably. The front of his shirt was still slightly damp from the cocktail splashed onto him by Kaiser. His lungs felt as if they were on fire. His throat was raw from the shouting. Alexis felt his legs give out from underneath him as his lungs pierced his chest. Petals were rising in his throat, this time much larger, more clumped up than ever before. It hurt more than anything Alexis had ever experienced. He began to gag on the air, saliva falling from his mouth onto the floor.

It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. His throat was stretched as the unknown lump made its way to the top, scratching every interior of Alexis’ neck. There was no way Alexis wasn’t bleeding, yet everything felt unbelievably dry. He wasn’t entirely sure if he was even breathing as his airways were essentially clogged. His shoulders shook with each hack, and his stomach was painfully cramping, trying to push out the foreign object.

Finally feeling the bundle in his mouth, Alexis’ lips stretched as he finally spat it out. Falling to the floor with a soft thump was a fully intact rose. A blue one at that, just like the petals that were tormenting him all day. Looking at the rose covered in his blood and saliva, Alexis couldn’t help the wary smile that began on his face. To think the blue rose–Michael’s rose–was made possible by Alexis’ magic.

Scooping up the rose, Alexis examined it in fascination. There were no imperfections to note, nor did it look artificial. Did this mean Alexis could conjure up more? It would be painful, but it would be worth seeing Michael’s reaction. He would have to rinse it off, of course. Even if it came from himself, Alexis would easily admit how gros spit-covered flowers are.

“Ness you…” Alexis looked up at Yoichi, remembering his existence and realizing that he probably witnessed the whole thing. His mood quickly dampened at the thought of how Yoichi was the first to witness his blessing instead of Michael. “You have Hanahaki? Why haven't you told anyone yet? This is life-threatening!”

What? “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” the German coughed out, wiping away any tears visible. Before Yoichi could snap at him for feigning ignorance, he clarified. “No, seriously, I have no clue what this ‘Hanahaki’ is.”

Realizing how defensive and confused Alexis looked, Yoichi ran a hand through his hair. “Well, how do I say this.” The striker paused his words, trying to think of the best way to phrase his words. “Hanahaki is a disease. If you have an unrequited love, you start throwing up flower petals. It can get worse to the point where fully bloomed flowers are formed in the respiratory system.” Yoichi gestured at the bloody rose in Alexis’ hand. “After the flowers come, the roots sink into your lungs. Then you die.”

At that, Alexis shot up. “What? What do you-” Alexis choked on his words. He couldn’t even fully process the news that he had a supposed “unrequited love” before having his life flipped upside down. “What do you mean I can die? Yoichi, don’t fuck around with me.”

“I mean exactly that, Ness,” Isagi sighed in frustration. “Why didn’t you tell anyone? Are you not thinking straight about your health? Or is all you think about really Kaiser?”

“Kaiser has nothing to do with this,” Alexis huffed. “And the petals just started last night after the game. Tell me, Yoichi, who would I tell about this sorcery that wouldn’t brush me off? No one believes in magic here.” And wasn’t that the truth? His whole life, he had been constantly alone. His family all lived in another world of logic and science, a place he had rejected a long time ago.

Michael hadn’t rejected him though. No, Michael was the only one who introduced Alexis to his journey to pursue the impossible. They were going to reach new heights together. And yet, the one time Alexis could proudly prove the existence of magic, it was in the form of an illogical disease that was going to kill him. It was a cruel fate. Alexis brought the rose closer to his chest.

Sensing the German’s internal spiral, Yoichi tried to gain his attention again. “I-I mean, I’m here helping you now, aren’t I?” He squatted down to look Alexis in the eyes. “This is a really serious situation, and I would never leave you by yourself to deal with it.”

If these words had been spoken by any other person, Alexis probably would have thanked them. However, this was Isagi Yoichi, so all Alexis could muster was a grumbled, “Yeah, sure. Now get back to the point of me dying.”

At this, Yoichi seemed to hesitate again. “Well, I’m not totally sure. You’ve already gotten to the stage where you’re coughing up a full flower, but you said it just started yesterday? Usually, Hanahaki would take weeks to fester, not hours.”

“I already said it's magic,” Alexis rolls his eyes. “Magic doesn’t need an explanation, nor does the process of Hanahaki in the first place. What I need to know is why I, of all people, have it.”

“You.. realize you’re in love with Kaiser, right?” Isagi questioned slowly as if Alexis was an idiot. “I already told you, Hanahaki comes from unrequited love.”

The two stared at each other in silence. Out of nowhere, Alexis began to laugh. “Yoichi, you are ridiculous. Me? In love with Kaiser? Say something more convincing if you want me to believe you.” For such a dark conversation, Alexis didn’t expect the shorter male to still be pulling out jokes. He continued to laugh until he felt something bubble up in his throat again. Coughing more petals–thankfully not a full flower again–onto the floor, Alexis sobered up quickly. A daunting thought dawned on him. If he had Hanahaki, then it was irrefutable that he was in love. But if it wasn’t with Michael, who else? “Oh no..” Alexis looked to the expectant Yoichi. “I am in love with Kaiser.”

He shouldn’t have been shocked at the revelation. For years, Michael has been the main character in Alexis’ life. Together, he had felt free from rules. He didn’t have to care what others thought when the only person who mattered was Michael. It was never a secret how drawn Alexis was to the blond, but to this extent? This constant unrest and longing–the recent days when Alexis didn’t know what was running through Kaiser’s mind. Alexis couldn’t place a name for this craving until now, but was his heart’s desire so unreachable that Alexis was subjugated to death?

“There’s two ways to get rid of it.” Alexis perked up at the possibility of survival, waiting for Yoichi to continue. “You could confess to Kaiser, for starters. When your heart acknowledges the mutual affection, the flowers will wither away on their own.”

Yoichi was really saying the most insane things today. Alexis had only just come to terms with his apparent feelings for Micael, and Yoichi wanted him to confess. No matter how eager Alexis was to get rid of the disease, there was no way he was ruining the already straining relationship the two Germans had. Not to mention, Kaiser would never feel the same. He was the true blue rose – not like the diseased amalgamation of Alexis’ unsolicited sentiments. Only Kaiser himself was the one who attained the impossible.

“And the second option?” There had to be one good thing about this sickness. All Alexis heard so far was his potential death, unwanted feelings, and reminders of his endless loneliness.

“You could get surgery. Since most cases of Hanahaki happen in Japan, most hospitals can do the operation.” It sounded simple enough. One day was painful enough, and Alexis didn’t want to wait any longer to schedule the procedure. “But choosing surgery means you lose any emotions directed toward the object of your affection, Kaiser in this case. Getting rid of the ability to love makes sure you can’t get sick again.”

Of course, there was a twist. Why was every option shit? If Alexis’ throat didn’t feel like it was torn in half, he would have screamed in frustration. Everything he did practically revolved around Michael. Alexis couldn’t even imagine what his life would look like after the surgery. Would they still play together? Would Alexis even keep playing? It was because of Michael that Alexis made it onto the team. He couldn’t betray him like that. But if he confessed, that was just as bad, troubling Kaiser with a nuisance of emotions.

“You don’t have to make your decision now, of course,” Yoichi continued to ramble through Alexis’ internal monologue. “It’s not an easy decision to make. I wouldn’t know what I’d do in your situation – not that I would ever like Kaiser. No way.”

Realizing how long the two had been on the floor, Alexis got up, not responding to Yoichi. He flushed the recently expelled rose petals and walked over to the sink. Making sure the water ran warm, Alexis began to gently clean the rose from any remaining saliva or blood. When he finished, he reached for a nearby napkin to wrap around his new captivation.

It was all too overwhelming at once. If he tried to process everything, he would definitely break down further. Yoichi had seen too much already, so Alexis decided to end their conversation before he got to witness more. With that in mind, his next destination was his bedroom, where he could have the privacy he needed.

Ready to not interact with anyone else in the entirety of Blue Lock, Alexis brushed past Yoichi. “Good night, Yoichi. Thanks for the information, but let’s not talk about this again.” With those final words, Alexis walked straight back to his room. This time, he didn’t run into anyone else. If he had to shove a couple more petals into his pockets, no one had to know.

Chapter Text

The second night was exponentially worse than the first. Alexis constantly got up to clear his throat, not realizing how much of a mess he looked in the dark. His subconscious provided unlimited dreams about Michael when he wasn’t busy coughing his lungs out. It put him in an endless cycle of tossing on one side to fall asleep and turning to the other to let out dry heaves.

Usually, Alexis would be ecstatic with the visions of Michael, but his current condition made it harder for him to see any silver linings. He wasn’t sure how any victim could endure this pain for weeks on end, but then again, Yoichi mentioned he was a special case that seemed to progress unusually fast. As much as he hated to admit it, Yoichi had told Alexis only the truth, a gesture he appreciated.

When Alexis woke up surrounded by more flower petals, he didn’t want to get out of bed at all. He could feel drool crusted onto his cheek, yet he tried to wipe it off to no avail. He was disappointed to find his bottle empty when he reached over to his nightstand. His phone lay dead beside it after he forgot to plug it in, and the paranormal rose from yesterday sat closer to the center.

He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. On the one hand, Alexis hadn’t been in such a shoddy state that he hallucinated yesterday’s conversation with Yoichi–as if his mind could make up something as horrific as Hanahaki. This also meant, however, that Alexis had only a short time frame to make the greatest decision in his life. Whatever he decided on impacted more than just his career. His life was on the line, and yet both solutions given by Yoichi sounded more improbable than literally vomiting flowers. Alexis wanted to curl up into a ball and sleep for another twelve hours. Something he would’ve done if it wasn’t for the sound of knocking against his door.

Had he woken up so late that Michael had to come wake him up? Alexis cursed to himself internally. While he was surprised that Michael had managed to make it through the morning without him, he also felt warm thinking of how the blond came to check up on him after not seeing him. But if he’s here then…

He shot up, realizing how much of a mess the scattered petals were around him. If Michael came in, there was no way he could make an excuse on the spot for where and how he had gotten ahold of blue roses. Alexis shoved all the flower petals underneath his blanket, being extra mindful of the blossom from yesterday. He paused to grimace at the dried blood on his pillowcase from last night’s exertions before flipping it over as well.

Only when he believed everything looked inconspicuous did Alexis remember that Michael never bothered to knock on the door. He would merely barge right into wherever as if he owned the place. Then who’s at the door? Don’t tell me it’s–

“ネス？ そこにいるの？” Yoichi’s voice sounded from behind the door. “寝坊したから朝食を持ってきたよ。”

Alexis moodily opened his door, wincing at the bright LED lights from the hallway. “Damn, it’s just you, Yoichi,” he grabbed his micro-interpreters from his nightstand, grimacing at how rough his voice sounded to his ears. “I already told you to ignore what happened yesterday, but I see you never listen as always. We’re not even friends, so I don’t see why you bother.” Despite his attitude, he still stepped aside to let Yoichi into his room, closing the door after making sure no one else was outside.

Before Yoichi responded, his face morphed into something akin to pity. Alexis was about to break out into another tirade at his expression before the shorter pointed at the side of his mouth. Yoichi pulled out his phone to show Alexis his face, blood smeared and dried along the corner of his mouth. Alexis huffed in embarrassment before roughly scrubbing at the stain, this time removing it properly. Only then did Yoichi get back on topic.

“And I already told you that I’m not an asshole that leaves others hanging,” Yoichi sighs. His eyes followed Alexis as he pulled out a small remote from his nightstand drawer, lighting up clusters of candles. Soon, the pitch-black room was shrouded in a dim yellow as fake flames flickered along the walls. “I brought you food, so don’t be so disappointed I showed up. I bet you were expecting Kaiser though, huh?”

Yoichi’s taunt apparently hit too close to the mark as Alexis began coughing up more petals. Just because it was true, that didn’t mean he had to mention how Kaiser hadn’t come to see him all morning. “Shut the-” Alexis spat out a particularly stubborn petal before continuing. “Shut the fuck up, Shitty Yoichi. Look what you just did.”

He gestured to the floor decorated with newly produced petals, another wave of coughs leaving his mouth. Yoichi looked sheepish, realizing any mention of Kaiser would be a bad decision. Whether it was because he just enjoyed hearing himself talk or harbored absolutely zero social cues, though, Yoichi kept talking. “Well, it looks like those are the only petals in your room, so it probably lessened overnight.” He tried to look on the bright side, only for the still-coughing Alexis to uncover the mess underneath his blanket as well as the stains on his pillow. “Oh.”

When Alexis’ fit subsided, he let out a sigh. “Just give me the food, and you can leave.” Alexis hadn’t realized how hungry he was until he saw the sight of the tray. Once Yoichi left, he would be able to eat in peace.

Handing over his food, Yoichi crossed his arms, once again ignoring Alexis’ words. “Just give up on trying to get me to leave. You’re sick, and I’m here to help. That’s not gonna change.”

Alexis eyed Yoichi warily as the latter walked around his room. He seemed intrigued by the abundance of candles placed around Alexis’ room. Not only had they given Alexis’ room a more magical touch, but the warm lighting gave Alexis a reprieve from everything else that happened outside. Some of them had been brought from Germany, but he had quickly bought more when he realized how desolate Blue Lock felt. If Alexis had to stay in a windowless building for weeks on end, he would rather pass to Yoichi than constantly live under the sterile white lights installed throughout the stratum.

He turned his attention to the cooling meal in his lap. Usually, Alexis would have just eaten toast with some scrambled eggs. While he was met with his usual breakfast combination, though, Isagi had also brought a bowl of miso soup. Alexis hadn’t drunk anything all day. His lips were cracked, and his mouth parched, making the inclusion of the liquid side very beneficial.

The warm liquid slid down Alexis’ throat, contrasting with the crispy bread. He felt much more comfortable speaking now that it didn’t feel like he swallowed a mouthful of sand. Actually having food in his system had also put him in a better mood – something Yoichi must have taken note of as he broke the silence.

“You missed this morning’s practice. Noa almost had someone come get you, but I covered for you.” That did not sound like good news no matter how Yoichi spun it. Sure, his excuse made it so that no one else figured out about his condition, but now, he was going to be questioned about his nonexistent friendship with Yoichi. “As long as you practice in the afternoon, you should be fine, I think.”

No, Yoichi. It wouldn’t be fucking “fine.” The practice schedule in the German stratum consisted of drills in the morning, self-practice in the afternoon, and a scrimmage on the fourth of the ten days between matches. With the Blue Lock players and the Germans mostly keeping to themselves, it was practically unavoidable for Alexis to see Michael who was definitely going to grill him about his relationship with Yoichi.

What frustrated Alexis more was how he hadn’t slept properly for two days. In comparison to Michael, Alexis was a morning person who didn’t need anyone to tell him when to get up. It was because of this trait that he easily helped Michael get ready before practice almost every day. With his current state, though, he hardly had the energy to get out of his own bed.

Alexis’ day had just started, and yet, Yoichi had already fucked it up. He hated the damned striker so much. If only he had stayed in his lane from the beginning, Alexis would bet his entire salary that he’d never contract Hanahaki in the first place. The longer Yoichi stayed in his room, the more Alexis needed him to leave before he did anything drastic.

“I think it’s time for you to leave.” Alexis stood up and shoved the empty tray at Yoichi. He was so ready for their interaction for the day to be over. “I appreciate the food, but like you said, I need to go practice.”

“Ness, you-” Yoichi was shoved out into the hallway before he could finish his words.

“Glad we’re on the same page for once. Goodbye, Yoichi!” The door shut before Alexis let out more petals. Alone in his room again, he cast a sweeping glance at last night’s mess. He would have to clean up before he went to practice. Then, there would be no more reasons to avoid Michael.

Alexis immediately felt Kaiser’s eyes on him the moment he stepped onto the field. He definitely was not happy, a scowl marring his lips. Even from afar, Alexis could see the blond’s barely tamed bed hair, which definitely made Kaiser more upset. His hackles raised with the urge to defend himself, but doing so would only worsen the situation.

“Enjoy your beauty sleep, Ness?” Kaiser scoffed, kicking another ball into the net. With how perfect all of his kicks were, Alexis could watch him play for hours even if he didn’t need the practice. Nevertheless, the first words Kaiser had said to him in the last twenty-four hours stung.

Alexis winced as he forced the petals to not come up so soon. “I’m sorry for not coming over this morning. I haven’t been getting the best sleep these days.” He gave Kaiser a placating smile, hoping it wasn’t only wistful thinking that they wouldn’t talk about what Yoichi had practically announced to the entire team.

“Whatever.” His prayers were heard as Kaiser brushed off his apology. “Get warmed up.”

The two spent the rest of the afternoon practicing with each other. With Alexis’ mind mostly focused on their plays together, time passed without a hitch. There were no traces of the pathetic heap he had been resigned to last night. No, instead stood the true professional athlete he was. Alexis didn’t want to show Michael any more weakness than he already had. Any more, and Michael would deem him worthless, not fitting to assist an emperor chosen by God. With that belief, Alexis swallowed any anxiousness that materialized into petals and focused on making up for the morning.

Every time he looked over at Michael for too long, however, he felt his face heating up. Part of him wished he could remain ignorant of his feelings towards the blond. The other half shamelessly watched how effortlessly Michael played, not a bead of sweat on his face. He was objectively beautiful even if he was upset, a feature that clearly never went unnoticed by the midfielder. However, this was not an excuse for Alexis to continue being distracted. So, whenever Alexis felt his eyes linger for too long, he would shake his head and focus back on their practice. He shouldn’t waste any more of Michael’s time.

When they finally decided to wrap up for the day, a tense silence hung over the two. Kaiser’s eyes unnerved Alexis as he continued to stand there with a calculating stare. Compared to Alexis’ nervous fidgeting, the forward stood unmovable. His arms crossed in irritation.

Alexis braced himself for the inevitable interrogation about his interaction with Kaiser’s new rival. It still felt unfair, nevertheless. Alexis tried to get away, but Yoichi wouldn’t stop bothering him. And then to make matters worse, that fool made it out to sound like they had become friends. What the fuck?

“Ness?” Kaiser snapped his fingers in his face. His frown had deepened since Alexis had spaced out, a very clear indicator of just how annoyed he was feeling. “Pay attention, Ness. Don’t think you can avoid this conversation.”

Alexis blinked. He hadn’t meant to make Kaiser wait, so he quickly responded before his mood worsened. “Sorry, Kaiser. Can you repeat that?”

Kaiser sighed. “Seriously, you can’t get anything done with that absent mind of yours.” He flicked Alexis’ forehead, earning a surprised yelp. “What were you doing with Yoichi yesterday? It must have been important since you left me pretty fast.”

Alexis rubbed his forehead, looking up at Kaiser. He hadn’t realized that Kaiser knew about his departure, and part of him was delighted that the blond still noticed him. Still, hearing that Kaiser had a hint of doubt about where Alexis’ loyalties lie twisted something ugly in his chest. Stupid Yoichi and this stupid curse. There should have never been a question as to who Alexis would stand beside, so why did he have to keep a secret from Kaiser–and with Yoichi?

“No! It was nothing like that. Yoichi just wouldn’t leave me alone, I swea-” He could feel the petals rise in his throat and quickly shut his mouth. There was absolutely no way he would deal with this in front of Kaiser. He could see Kaiser's questioning eyes waiting for him to continue, but he refused to utter anything else.

He subtly swallowed down the bundle, holding his body rigidly still to not show any outward reactions. He couldn’t look like he was in pain, or else Kaiser might ask. While it was in the blond’s nature to not be concerned with anything not regarding himself, Kaiser’s gaze still pinned Alexis down where he stood, desperately trying to fix the situation.

This could be your chance to confess. The universe must be laughing at him as Alexis couldn’t even escape Yoichi’s absurd advice from invading his own thoughts. It was hardly the first time today that Alexis prayed on Yoichi’s downfall for not minding his own business.

Static filled his ears as he focused on keeping his thoughts separate from his actions. It was crucial he didn’t slip up now of all times. His stomach was tied into knots as he shifted his weight nervously. He anxiously waited for Kaiser’s next words like how a criminal awaited his emperor to sentence him.

“Ness, you’re not thinking of leaving me, are you?” Kaiser stepped closer as Alexis’ eyes widened. His tattooed hand rested itself on the back of his head warningly. “You’re more reliable than that. I can trust you, right?”

Alexis quickly nodded his head, keeping his mouth sealed shut. He would never leave Kaiser; that was always out of the question to him. The more he was pressured, however, the tighter his chest squeezed itself. It was painful, both physically and emotionally, that he couldn’t tell Kaiser the truth.

“Use your words, Alexis.” Metallic eyes peered down into magenta ones, waiting for anything to fill the growing silence. His fingers began to curl, grabbing and combing Alexis’ magenta locks. It was a familiar action shared between the two, yet something about it had felt gentler than usual. “Would you leave me?”

Chills ran down Alexis’ spine at the sound of his given name on top of the pseudo-head massage. Kaiser spoke Alexis’ name as if it was a blessing, and with how little he said it, it might as well be one. However, There was no way Kaiser didn't know what effect he had using that name. He clearly didn’t care as long as it gave him the response he wanted, but it mattered to Alexis. It mattered very much.

“Never- I’d never leave you.” He choked out, eyes dilated. It was a miracle no petals joined his declaration. It wasn’t a confession, but it was as close to what he was comfortable doing. With how much it took to get those four words out, though, Alexis doubted he could ever coherently express his true feelings. “I only want to pass to you, Kaiser. I swear!”

He would profess his devotion every day if that was what it took for his faithfulness to never be questioned again. Every dribble, pass, and goal would be dedicated to his striker if Alexis had his way. Everything would be done in the pursuit of Kaiser’s success–to see the emperor sit proudly on his throne built off of the destruction of others.

The striker’s eyes relaxed into amusement, their usual agitation partially suppressed. As the corners of Michael’s mouth upturned in satisfaction, Alexis felt himself relax as well. “That’s what I expected. Good boy, Ness. Let’s go eat dinner. I haven’t spent enough time with you it seems.” He walked off towards the locker room as Alexis began to miss Michael’s touch immediately. He jogged to catch up to Kaiser as they finished up for the day.

His steps felt light as the two went through their routine together. It had only been two days, but he had missed the time to unwind with Michael. He had always gotten to see a side others hardly got to. To think Yoichi could have taken all of this away; he wouldn’t allow Isagi to get in between them again.

When they got to the cafeteria, Alexis sharply glared at Yoichi before getting his and Michael’s meals. The two ate together undisturbed before leaving for the monitor room. Thankfully, Michael wanted to focus on Ubers as a whole, so Ness pulled up a chair and traded comments with him.

Although the day had started poorly, Alexis got into bed happier than he had in a while. He was determined to wake up on time so there would be no more misunderstandings surrounding him and Yoichi.

That night, he hardly awoke, velvety smooth petals held delicately in his hands.