Work Text:
Shrek and Dazai were watching each other’s intensely, shrek has those gorgeous alpha male eyes,
Dazai: You’re so shrexy Shrek-Chan
Shrek was giggling like a school girl now, biting his nails, his alpha male demeanor totally crumbled,
Shrek: I’ll commit double sewerlside with you…
Chuuya arrived, he looked flabbergasted at the sight of this horrendous view
Chuuya: DAZAI HOW DARE YOU
Chuuya felt broken, how could his favorite bandage squandering machine could choose shrek over him ?!
Shrek: Stay away Ed Sheeran anime boy version
Chuuya: *uses gravity to take off shrek clothes*
Shrek: *blushes so much that his green skin started to be tainted with a soft pink*
Suddenly, Skibidi toilet saw what happened, and felt heartbroken, they loved Shrek so much, and couldn’t conceive the fact that he cheated on them like that
Skibidi toilet: *skibidi toilet slowed and reverb starts playing*
Dazai: N-no skibidi-Chan…it’s not w-w-what you think…
Skibidi toilet:*cries while singing skibidi dop dop dop yes yes*
Shrexy: D-D-D-D-Dazai-k-k-k-kun you loved Skibidi toilet
Dazai: Oops I did it again I played with your heart, you lost in the game
Shrexy: Oops you think I’m in love
Dazai: WHAT-
Shrexy: I’d never love a guy that goes buying bandages every Sunday morning at 9AM
Dazai: Do you stalk me ?
Shrek: *Sussy baka yandere look*