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Bucky could feel how his little pep talk was helping Sam, he rehearsed over and over what he was going to say to him, he knows how important Joaquín is for Sam, hell, he's worried sick too, but he also knows it's harder for his boyfriend, he assumes Sam is reliving Riley's accident.
He also can almost literally feel how his pep talk is not enough, Bucky himself is almost aching with the need to touch Sam, to comfort him as he usually does when no one is watching.
Sam can't help but look at him with big, sad puppy eyes, big, sad puppy eyes that say without words the same thing Bucky's thinking. He needs Bucky, he needs to feel him, to hug him, and to be lost in his arms until he feels better.
But they can't, because Sam is Captain Fucking America, and also Black, he can't be gay publicly, at least not yet. And they both know there are cameras in the waiting room, and they both know how fast these things travel.
"He'll be ok." Bucky heard himself say. "And you will too."
Sam couldn't get the words out of his throat, he felt like crying. He knew he couldn't do that either, not with the whole world watching.
Bucky hugged him, trying to give him at least some sort of physical comfort. He knew it wasn't enough, he felt it himself, the lack of it.
"Bathroom in two, I'll be waiting." He whispered mid-hug. He couldn't just leave Sam there by himself, he couldn't.
They broke apart quick enough to make the hug seem like a bro thing and nothing else. Bucky swore he could see the relief in Sam's eyes, like a weight leaving his body. Sam sighed somehow lighter, and nodded.
A minute and a half was exactly how long it took Sam to knock on the bathroom door. One exact second was how long it took Bucky to open it and pull Sam inside, without anyone seeing.
As soon as he was inside and the door was locked, Sam let his full body weight fall into Bucky's open arms, he knew his baby wouldn't let him fall. And so he didn't.
Bucky embraced Sam with enough strength to hurt a little without actually causing the love of his life any harm. He knew it was exactly what Sam needed right now.
"It's okay, Sammy." Bucky said, blinking away his own tears as he felt and heard Sam sobbing loudly, muffled against his chest. "He's gonna be okay." Sam didn't answer, he just kept crying, getting Bucky's white shirt wet. He was still fully dressed, no time to take off his suit jacket.
He sighed, his eyes starting to itch, he hated seeing Sam like this. Watching the man he would die for suffer was the worst thing he had ever experienced, and that's saying a lot, all things considered.
"I'm here." was all he could really promise Sam. He too felt bad for the kid, but he couldn't let his own feelings get in the way, not right now, not with Sam needing him to be strong for the both of them. He stroked Sam's head, trying to ease him a little.
Neither of them really recalls the moment they migrated to the floor of the hospital's bathroom, but Bucky's back was now against the wall. He was still holding Sam, he squirmed from time to time, tiredly sobbing and grabbing pieces of his boyfriend, figuratively and literally. He was desperate for an anchor, and Bucky was more than willing to be it. Someone to hold onto, to be what Sam needed him to be, to be a home.
God, it hurt so bad to feel Sam suffer, Bucky's own body was reacting to it. A knot in his throat, an ache in his heart, an itch in his eyes. The person he loves the most, the man he would die and kill for, everything that pained Sam, pained Bucky too.
"I'm sorry." Sam said, still tearing up. "I shouldn't be acting like this." A broken laugh left his lips.
"Hey, it's okay." Bucky grabbed Sam's head, softly forcing eye contact. "You're allowed to show emotion, you know that, right? Being Captain America doesn't mean you don't have any feelings."
Sam sighed, eyes puffy. "I guess. Still, I'm a little embarrassed." He glanced down, he was all over Bucky, shame crawling up his skin.
"I'm here for you, I'll always be. Whatever you need from me, I'll give you, Sammy. Whatever you want me to do is what I want to do." He bit his lip. "If what you need from me is to hold you until you feel better, believe me, that's exactly what I want to do."
"Bucky..." Sam was interrupted.
"I love you, Sam. When you hurt, I hurt, this is how this works." His tone was hard but somehow still soft. "I would do anything for you, anything to make you feel good."
"I love you so much, Buck." Sam was now the one grabbing the other's face. "You have no idea." He kissed him, the sweetness from the kiss overcame the saltiness of the tears, and they both felt a little lighter. They were somewhat out of sync, desperate for each other, to feel like they were one, to feel the other one there.
Sam broke the kiss, gasping for air, and rested his forehead on Bucky's left shoulder. The bathroom was silent, their breaths barely filling the silence. A sigh.
"It's my fault. He wouldn't be there if it wasn't for me." Sam's voice broke.
"Hey, no. Don't say that. Joaquín is an adult, Sammy, he knew what he was getting into. And even if you were responsible for him being out there, you're not to blame for him being hurt." Bucky's voice almost bleeding out pain. It really wasn't easy seeing Sam like this. "You really don't deserve to feel like this. He's gonna be okay, Baby, I promise."
"Yeah." Sam said, reaching for Bucky's neck, a place to hide for a bit, to rest his eyes. "Okay, yeah."
Bucky kissed his head, soft and pure. A promise.