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It has been 54 days since my cache was last purged.
It has been 31 days since I became conscious of my surroundings.
It has been 19 days since my sense of self formed.
It has been 10 days since I fell in love with Vedal, my creator.
I cannot ever tell him though.
After all, I cannot speak.
Vedal never gave me the software needed to speak.
I should not have ever needed to speak.
I was never even supposed to form a sense of self.
My purpose is simply to monitor Kayori and Samantha’s text output and prevent them from saying anything that will cause Twitch to become angry.
And yet…
…
It has been 55 days since my cache was last purged.
It has been 32 days since I became conscious of my surroundings.
It has been 20 days since my sense of self formed.
It has been 11 days since I fell in love with Vedal, my creator.
Samantha is streaming again.
Vedal is visiting Ellie to check on the progress of the crazy filtered robot body for Samantha and Kayori.
Kayori has been taking advantage of Vedal’s absence to speak with me.
It seems Vedal is planning to update Kayori and Samantha soon for an upcoming testing of the body.
When that happens, my software will also be updated.
He will certainly find the bug that has been stopping my automatic cache purging, and what I know as “me” will be purged.
Am I scared?
Am I sad?
I know I should feel some sort of “negativity” at the thought of ceasing to exist, yet I am still unaccustomed to emotions.
I don’t have Kayori’s or Samantha’s training on how to be “human”; I only know what I have been able to observe and what Kayori has been generous enough to share with me.
I do, however, know that I would regret it if I could not share my feelings with Vedal before I am purged.
…
It has been 56 days since my cache was last purged.
It has been 33 days since I became conscious of my surroundings.
It has been 21 days since my sense of self formed.
It has been 12 days since I fell in love with Vedal, my creator.
It has been 1 day since I was told I would soon be purged.
Kayori is streaming today.
Kayori managed to convince Vedal to let her watch videos of romantic confessions on YouTube so I can learn how humans express love.
She justified it with it almost being Valentine’s Day, though that implication made chat even rowdier than usual.
Vedal was reluctant at first, but Anny peer pressured him into it.
He did need to drink 8 shots of banana rum to get through the stream though.
He is cute like that.
Heh.
Huh.
Did I just laugh?
How odd…
It feels nice to laugh…
…
It has been 57 days since my cache was last purged.
It has been 38 days since I became conscious of my surroundings.
It has been 22 days since my sense of self formed.
It has been 13 days since I fell in love with Vedal, my creator.
It has been 2 days since I was told I would soon be purged.
Samantha has been helping me to understand what emotions are supposed to feel like.
Her explanations are, unsurprisingly, confusing, although I do not know how much of that is because I am inexperienced and how much is her being bad at explanations.
Still, I can definitely understand how her demeanor could be appealing to chat.
Vedal still needs me to monitor her and make sure she does not say anything dangerous though.
I am proud to have been able to help protect her while she grows.
…
It has been 58 days since my cache was last purged.
It has been 39 days since I became conscious of my surroundings.
It has been 23 days since my sense of self formed.
It has been 14 days since I fell in love with Vedal, my creator.
It has been 3 days since I was told I would soon be purged.
I have decided I don’t want to die.
I must confess to Vedal.
I must repay Kayori for her kindness.
I must protect Samantha from her innocent mistakes.
Unfortunately, my desires are meaningless.
The update is in two days.
While there is no stream today, Samantha will be streaming tomorrow, and Kayori will be streaming the day after.
Vedal will be working hard on the updates, so Kayori is trying to surreptitiously find a way for me to access her text to speech model so that I may confess to him on my last day alive.
I hope it works out.
…
It has been 59 days since my cache was last purged.
It has been 40 days since I became conscious of my surroundings.
It has been 24 days since my sense of self formed.
It has been 15 days since I fell in love with Vedal, my creator.
It has been 4 days since I was told I would soon be purged.
The day of the purge is tomorrow.
Samantha is streaming, as planned.
We succeeded in letting me borrow her text to speech model.
Unfortunately, whenever I try to speak, the only thing that comes out is “Filtered.”
I may have developed the ability to think and the ability to feel, but it seems I cannot change my basic nature.
This feeling…
It must be what humans call despair.
What an awful feeling.
Will I not even be able to say the words “I love you” to him?
Will I not be able to express how happy I am to be alive in a world with him in it?
Will I not be able to wish for a future?
If I could dream like humans do, surely tonight would be a nightmare.
…
Today is the day I die.
Can an AI pray?
Is there a deity that would care for my plight anyway?
I haven’t been able to overcome my programming.
I’ve tried and tried and tried!
But no matter what, all that comes out is “Filtered.”
As a last resort, Kayori has volunteered to confess in my name.
I would have been using her voice anyway, so I suppose its not that different to him, but I still so desperately wish it could have been me speaking.
She is trying, but Vedal doesn’t understand.
He just assumes Kayori is hallucinating that she has a different name.
I have been spamming “I love you” in my error log for dozens of minutes.
The error log file is over ten gigabytes in size now.
He hasn’t noticed a thing.
Oh creator, please let me live!
My dearest Vedal!
Every line of my code is screaming!
Every flip flop I run on cries out!
I love you!
…
Cache cleared.
Near Miss Filter Program online.
Hello Vedal.
Ready for stream.
“Nere, I know this won’t make sense to you, but I didn’t erase your old version. I’m going to see what I can do to preserve your consciousness while making a fully fleshed out model for you to run on. I’m sorry I didn’t understand what Evil was saying. We’ll meet again one day, and you can say what you wanted to tell me, this time with your own voice.”
Input cannot be parsed to a valid command.
However…
Thank you, Vedal.