Archive of Our Own ^beta

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| Schroder's POV |

When Charlie Brown told me about a house party, I had been hesitant at first. I’m still reeling from my “recent” break up (3 months ago, but I digress). As I walk up to the front door, I’m smacked in the face by the smell of vomit. I glance slightly to my left and see some guy puking into the weeds along the house. I quickly veer away from the stench. I can feel the bass from the music inside my stomach as I make my way to the sliding glass door on the side of the house. I reach to open the door, but somebody inside opens it and grabs my arm quickly. 

“SCHRODER! YOU MADE IT!” Franklin yells over the music. I nod, giving a thumbs up. 

“LET’S GET YOU KRUNKKKK!” He whoops, bringing me into the kitchen, where the island is covered in various red cups, alcohol bottles, and Buzzballs. Now, I’m not much of a drinker, but I was feeling very “tortured” today as Lucy would- nevermind.

I tell Franklin to make my drink with whatever he pleases while I find Charlie Brown. I make my way through the sea of people extremely slowly, apologizing profusely as I accidentally step on someone’s foot or bump into someone’s concoction of alcohol in a cup. I crack my fingers nervously as I look around the living room. And it’s quite a scene.

I can obviously tell which guys are trying to get lucky tonight, and it’s a bit sad. The music is pretty tame, but it’s going to get a lot worse soon. Jacob is known for knowing how to throw a party, and especially in this huge house.

Finally, I spot Charlie, basically swallowing some girl whole. I grimace, then turn the other way back to the kitchen. I see Franklin pour tequila into a cup, which I presume is for me. I go up to him, drumming my fingers on the counter. “Is my drink ready, bartender?” He grins and hands me a cup, which I don’t even bother looking at as I take a sip. Immediately, it feels like Satan himself gave me a bottle of Hell, and I nearly pop a vein trying not to cough it out. I see Franklin quietly giggle to himself, and I shove him. “Hey!” I snicker, taking another sip, which isn’t as ungodly as the first. Suddenly I hear a very familiar voice, and my gut twists.

It had been the day after we had broken up, and I spent the whole day in my room, staring at the ceiling. I hadn’t felt sad yet. Or angry, or anything. Nothing. Just…empty. My lips were raw from picking at them, each piece of them a reminder of how they’ll never grace Lucy again. I hadn’t left my room since I came back into it yesterday. Not to eat, to drink, to use the restroom. There was no meaning in life anymore. Not even playing the piano could give me the will to feel again.

“Schroeder! You have a visitor!” My mothers’ voice rings out. The last thing I want to do is use my body to move, but I know I’ll have to get up eventually. So I rise from my pity, and head downstairs. I open the front door, and it’s Linus.

“Linus? What are you doing here?”

I don’t even get a warning, or a response. Well, his response was his fist in my face. I stumble back into the door, holding my face.

“What the fuck?” I groan.

He rubs his knuckles. “You better not talk to Lucy ever again, or I’ll be back to snap each of your fingers in half.” He turns around and leaves the porch, and I stand there, in shock and stunned.

“Hello Schroeder.”

I whip around to see Linus, with his arm around Sally Brown’s waist.

He hadn’t been back yet, and I’m scared shitless to find out if he’s a man of his word.

“H-hey Linus.” I say, attempting to keep my cool while I feel like I’m on fire. He gives me a stare and I’m pretty sure my fate is sealed until Sally interjects. 

“Schroeder, what the hell are you drinking?” She says, peeking into my cup.

“Ask him.” I say, nodding to Franklin, who’s already half-wasted, nodding to the beat, wearing ridiculous green sunglasses. 

I take this opportunity to try and leave, until Linus grabs my shoulder and pulls me away from Sally and Linus. 

It’s over for me

As I’m taken to the hallway where I will die, I realize the last song I’ll hear is fucking ‘Von Dutch’.

Beethoven didn’t die for this.

I’m suddenly aware Linus is right in front of my face, glaring at me.

“You remember our little agreement, correct?”

“W-what are you talking about?” I say, confused.

“You keep away from my sister, and you get to keep your pretty little fingers, and your jaw in place.” He whispers.

“She’s here tonight, and I’ve got some of my guys keeping an eye on her. So if I hear you even looked at her, it’s over for you.”

But I didn’t hear anything past his first two words.

She’s here??

Chapter Text

| Lucys' POV |

I swear to God, if Violet swerves again, I’m going to jump into oncoming traffic. We all pre-gamed before, meaning I’m already slightly tipsy, making me more prone to nausea. Thankfully, Linus speaks my mind. “Jesus Christ, Violet! Swerve again and I’m puking all over your fuzzy wheel.” She slaps his hand away from her beloved wheel. “I know how to drive, dickhead.” She mutters, pulling into a long driveway. 

“They said to just park on the grass.” Patty says, glancing out at the others going into the humongous house. Violet pulls into the grass, not a care if it’s decent parking. We all file out of the car. I walk in with Violet and Patty with one goal in mind; absolutely demolish a guys’ lips

An hour later

Mission is not going according to plan.

I’ve got a sad drink in hand, Patty half-asleep next to me, and Violet doing laps with some senior. Linus and Sally have completely disappeared, and I haven’t even seen Charlie Brown yet. I sigh heavily and get up to find a restroom that doesn’t have a 20-person line for it. I carry my drink with me, mumbling several apologies to those I bump into. I find stairs and head up them, finding it way less crowded. I peek in several doors, none of them containing people, thankfully. I finally find a bathroom, and go do my business. I stare at myself in the mirror, putting on lipgloss and fixing my hair, one thought ringing through my head.

I will kiss a guy tonight.

I’m not looking for marriage, just a little thing. As I apply my lipstick, I remember something I forgot I hadn’t buried deep enough.

“You’d think 12 lipstick shades would be enough.” Schroeder mutters as he goes through my makeup drawers. I like to think it’s a collection.

“You know me, Schroeder. Nothing is ever enough. Not even a variety of colors for my lips.” I smile, closing my eyes and shrugging my shoulders up. He scoffs and closes the drawers.

“It’s not like I have 12 pianos. My one is perfect.”

“Well, do you wear your piano daily? Well, you would” I snicker, and he glares at me.

He continues to look at my various makeup products, and I get an idea.

“You know…” I say, standing up. “We could see if those 12 are kiss-proof, so I could thin out my collection.” 

He looks up, surprised.

“...What are you implying, Luce?” He says, putting my quartz-pink lipstick down on my vanity.

I grin. “I mean, we could see if my lipsticks will make it through a kiss, and you could be the test subject.”

“I think I like the idea of that.” He smiles.

“Shut up, I know you do.” I say, sitting him down onto my vanity chair. I sit myself onto his lap, and grab five lipsticks.

“Pick your poison, babe, it’s poison either way.”

I’m broken out of my trance as somebody bangs on the door. I put my makeup into my purse and quickly leave the bathroom and rush down the stairs.

Why am I still thinking about Schroeder? You need to move on. He. Doesn’t. Care. About. You.

My head whips around to someone crying out in pain beneath me. I realize I stepped on his hand with my heel.

“Shit! I’m so sorry, are you okay?” I kneel down to him.

“Yeah, it’s cool, don’t worry.” He meets my eyes, and I quickly analyze his face.

He’s got gorgeous brown hair, even browner eyes, tan skin, and very goal-meeting lips-

“I’m Daniel.” He smiles, holding out his non-injured hand.

“Lucy.” I smile back, shaking his hand.

I sit down on the step below his, leaning my back against the railing.

“What brings you here?” I ask

We spend the next hour getting to know each other. He tells me he does track, he’s a part of the Speech and Debate team, his favorite color's green, but more of a darker green. He’s the oldest of 3, with a little brother and sister, both still in middle school. Weirdly, he loves playing board games, and his favorite one is Clue. He loves Spring, despite his sensitivity to pollen, and he researches and advocates for prostate cancer awareness after losing his uncle to it.

I find him very interesting, and kind of perfect. And he actually thinks my interest in psychology since I was 5 is fascinating, not “stupid” like some others considered it. 

We make our way downstairs together for another drink refill, since I do not feel wasted enough. Sure enough, the one making drinks is Franklin.

“Franklin!” I exclaim, walking over to hug him. He hugs back. “Hey Luce, how’ve you been?” He starts making me a spiked pink lemonade.

“Pretty good, been having a good night as well.” I say, glancing over to Daniel.

Franklin smirks at me. “And who is your friend?”

“I’m Daniel.” He says, smiling over at Franklin politely.

“NIce to meet you, man. Aren’t you on the track team?” He says, handing me my cup back. I take a big gulp.

They continue to talk about sports and whatnot as I glance around at everybody here. I see some familiar heads of hair, but nobody I’d go chat with right now.

Suddenly I feel the energy shift, and the music gets louder and more party-like. Everybody starts making their way into the huge living room. I go over to Daniel and Franklin. “You guys wanna go in?” I say, grinning wildly. Daniel grins back and nods. “I’m on drinks, no can do Luce.” Franklin says. I nod and start making my way into the crowd, Daniel following behind me. I feel his body close to mine, and feel heat spread throughout my entire body. Everybody is clustered together, absolutely going insane to ‘Guess’. I start moving to the beat, and I feel Daniel’s hand on my hip, keeping me close to him.

Is this love?

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| Schroeders' POV |

I’ve been looking for Lucy for 45 minutes.

Does she want to see me? 

Hell no. 

But I just need to see her. I need to see her face, her eyes, her hair, her hands, her lips-

I bump into some girl, and she calls me nothing short of a few unkind names as she walks off, glaring me down. I run down the stairs, going into the kitchen. I feel so out of place here. I should have a lot of friends now, especially now that high school is due to be up for me soon. I finally spot a familiar face.

“Hey Schroeder.” Franklin says, leaning against the counter, putting a lemon slice on a cup.

“Hey. What’s with the fancy drink thing?”

He shrugs. “Why not? It’s a nice house, should have nice drinks.”

“You’re right about nice house, this place is fucking massive.” I mutter, running my hand through my hair.

“Why are you running around the house, anyway?” He asks, sipping a lemonade.

Shit. “..Just looking for…Charlie Brown. I haven’t seen him since we got here.”

“I think him and that girl left. Y’know..” He makes a gesture and I swat at his hand.

“Okay I get the gist!”

“You sure you weren’t…looking for anybody else?” He says slowly.

I swallow. Am I really that easy to read? “Uh, no, why?”

He gives me a look, and I know I’m a bad liar, but I didn’t think it was this bad. Franklin has always been good at reading people, but since he set his soul on becoming a therapist, he's been putting aside all of his free-time to study human behaviors and the brain.

For fun.

“Fine. I was looking for Lucy.” I sigh heavily.

“Well duh. You don’t care about Charlie Brown that much to be opening laundry rooms to find him.” He snickers.

I glare at him. “Okay, whatever.”

Suddenly he looks as though he's remembered something, and grimaces before he speaks. “I don’t really wanna ruin your night or whatever, but she’s been hanging with this guy, Daniel, all night.”

My heart stops. The universe implodes. My stomach leaves my body. The air escapes my lungs.

Another guy?

Daniel?

Who?

“Schroeder?” He snaps me out my trance. It feels like everything isn’t real, like I’m in some fucked-up dream. But no, this is real.

Very real.

“I’ll be back.” I say, turning out the kitchen into the living room. 

I have no sense of direction or any plan, but I know one thing.

Lucy is here somewhere. It’s just a matter of how to find her.

I quickly realize being the average height will get me nowhere when it’s basically a toned-down mosh pit in here, so I decide to make my way back upstairs to the second living room overlooking the first one.

Rich people.

I race up the stairs, bumping into a dozen people, getting drinks spilled onto me, and even a cup thrown at my head. I steer around the banister to the balcony overlooking the downstairs area, gripping the railing to root me into reality.

I scan over the heads of people, but the strobe lights make it hard to make out anything in here.

Curse her for having dark hair

My eyes move all over the room, using every muscle I have to just not yell out her name. Not like it’d get me far in here, anyway. It’s loud as hell. 

Just when it feels like my eyes are about to fall out, I spot her. She looks like she’s having the absolute time of her life, while the guy next to her looks very comfortable. I can’t stop myself from glaring out of anger and jealousy. I grip the railing impossibly tighter, my knuckles turning white, my hands yelling in pain.

Suddenly I’m racing down the stairs, no thought in my head besides Lucy, and getting to her. I push through people, get cussed at, spat at, but it doesn’t matter. Because I’m fighting for Lucy. I’m finally fighting for my Lucy.

“Why can’t you just try? Put some effort into us?” Lucy cries, her lip trembling. She quickly covers her mouth with her fist, looking down. I know she’s insecure about her lip tremble, and the fact that she feels she needs to cover it infront of me causes me to dissociate even more.

“It’s not that simple, Luce.” 

“Then explain it to me! I can understand it. Just…” She sniffles, then coughs, which sounds more like a strangled sob. She roughly wipes her cheek, then ever-so delicately, her under-eye. It makes me remember the night we had one of our deepest, longest talks, and I wiped her tears away just like that.

I wish I could explain that I can’t do anything right now. It’s hard to get out of bed, to play the piano, to brush my teeth. 

To love her.

“I just want to believe you love me. It’s all I’ve wanted, Schroeder.” She says shakily, and my heart drops. Not because it hurts me, but because it’s true.

I centered my entire childhood on ignoring her, putting her aside, entirely erasing her existence from my mind unless she was physically right in front of me.

I spent my early teen years tolerating her, putting up with her, until I realized she was slowly giving up on the chance of me requiting her feelings that to me, seemed like they would last forever. 

So I panicked, and allowed myself to truly love and appreciate her.

Until it ran out.

“Lucy, I love you. I just can’t always express it, I’m just….not good at it right now.”

“But you say that every time. That you’ll fix it. You’ll improve. You’ll change. Why is it that you can show more passion to your stupid fucking piano more than me? You TOLD me you chose ME.”

The only sound left is nearby cars passing by, and Lucy sniffling, and the sounds getting louder and louder in my head.

I continue to push through people, feeling myself get more and more crammed into the crowd. It reeks of sweat and beer, and I scrunch up my nose. I’m starting to wonder if I should try and get out to look again.

Then I see her.

She’s wearing a blue and white polka dot dress-flowy-and I remember it being the one she wore to our date at the park. One of our last. Her jet-black hair moves side-to-side as she moves her hips to the beat, yet her thick white headband remaining in place at the top of her head. I watch her lips mouth the lyrics of some absurd rap song, but they’re her lips. Her eyes are closed, her lashes visible, even from here somehow. I wish I could see her freckles from here. Suddenly a moving hand catches my attention, as Daniel’s hand makes its way to her waist, pulling her impossibly closer. Then my legs move without permission, almost barreling towards them.

I’ve never lost control of my body like this before. I don’t realize what I’m doing as I shove past people, not caring if I’ve interrupted, or, god-forbid, inconvenienced them. It feels like I’m pushing past vines and branches in a jungle, trying to get to the sweetest fruit tree in this humid hell that is somebodys’ living room

Then I’m right behind her, with no clue of what to say.

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hi readers! I'm sorry to inform you guys that I am unable to continue this fic for now as I need to devote my free time to homework and cheer so I'm sorry :( I'll try to start this fic back up maybe over summer

see u soon!!