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Can I indulge myself in this fantasy?

Summary:

In which, Dazai left the mafia at the ripe age of 18- travelling all the way to Gotham to hide from Mori and his dogs. Well, dogs that were once his own, too. ‘Attachments have no place in the mafia.’ But now, can he form those attachments? Can he open up his heart, black as the mafia, to these people who call themselves “family”? Can he, former port mafia executive Dazai Osamu, indulge in this fantasy?

Notes:

Hi! Please note that I do not have prior experience in writing for the “Batfamily”, and “Batman” in general. Thus, i apologise if anyone is ooc! But nevertheless, please enjoy :)

Chapter 1: I run, and I save.

Chapter Text

“Since both sides are the same, become a good person. Save the weak, protect orphans. Regardless of whether it’s justice or evil, to you, there isn’t a big difference between the two… But, doing that would be better.”

“How do you know that?”

“I know, I know this better than anyone else.”

Dazai closed his eyes, fingers picking at his skin till it turned pink, then red. He eyed the boy laying on his couch, his red uniform dyed an even darker shade. However, if you looked closely, you could see the skilled wraps of bandages around the wound- peeking out from the tears of the uniform.

Dazai sighed, deciding to get up and wash his hands, which were dyed crimson from helping the boy. He blamed Odasaku for this. The boy listened to this old man's advice, helped Robin, the vigilante, and was now wondering about how he should deal with the aftermath. 

Saving people and killing them were two sides of the same coin. It didn't really matter to him. He had no compassion, no kindness, yet he didn't have hate or a passion to kill. 

He left the mafia. Deep down, maybe he had always wanted to leave- odasaku was just the final push. With that, he was now in Gotham city to hideout. It wasn’t the best city- in fact, the crime rate was so high, Dazai wondered if this place was just filled with criminals. 

Ironic, because he was one too- albeit his crime list being wiped. He would never be human. He was a monster. A wolf in sheep’s clothing, pretending to be an innocent little lamb. Dazai knew that at heart, he was nothing.

Dazai pursed his lips, patting the black coloured jacket he donned on. 

“Urgh…” Robin groaned from the couch. Dazai blinked, before heading over. “You’re awake! I thought you might have died.” Dazai chirped, gently pushing Robin back down so that he was laying flat.

”You…” Robin went on alert, before noticing that he was in a house and not an alley, that he was not bound and instead wrapped up in bandages. He ran a hand over it, before giving a small nod. “…Thank you.”

”Welcome!” Dazai replied, smiling. But that smile never really reached his eyes, Robin thought. “It’s my first time suturing a wound though, so you may want to take it easy.” Dazai shrugged, making sure Robin didn’t get up from his position.

The younger boy frowned, focusing on Dazai prancing about the room, picking up bandages here and there. Then, Robin really took in his appearance. Messy brown hair, wearing strangely formal attire, and wrapped in bandages himself.

It was concerning, seeing how malnourished he was, and how hurt he seemed. But this was Gotham. 

“Hey.” Robin said, Dazai replying with a hum. “How old are you?” Robin asked. His saviour- though he hated to admit it- seemed maybe 16 with how skinny he was. “That’s quite an invasive question, little vigilante!” Dazai laughed, seeing Robin tsk.

”I’m eighteen. Yay~” Dazai stuck a pose, snickering at Robin’s scrunched up face. “Where’s your parents?” Dazai blinked, confused about Robin’s question. “I’m an adult, little bird. Why would I need to stay with them?” 

Robin paused, eyeing the male. He was sceptical. This house hardly felt like a home, if it weren’t for half-eaten apple on the kitchen counter, the bloodied bandages in the dustbin, and how there was one singular photo on the table. Robin thought that this guy ran away from home.

”…Right.” Robin nodded, and Dazai smiled. He knew Robin thought he was suspicious, but who cares? Odasaku, helping people really didn’t feel any different from killing them. It just felt like he was playing doctor. So, after the boy returned safely to wherever he came from, Dazai decided that he’ll just jump from his apartment’s rooftop!

Just then, the lights in his apartment went off, and Dazai went on alert. Gotham was a dangerous city. It might be a criminal who wanted to murder him, or some random villain who had a personal vendetta against him! (Dazai stole some money off of people when he first arrived.) 

He heard someone enter the window. Immediately, he whipped out his pistol, aiming it in the direction of the intruder. Robin panicked. This guy was going to pull the trigger without hesitation, on his brother! What kind of normal eighteen year old would do that, and why does he have a gun?!

”He’s redhood! Don’t shoot!” Robin shouted in alarm, and Dazai could only angle his gun away sightly from redhood at the last minute, firing at the wall beside him. ‘Redhood’ cursed, and the lights flickered back on. Dazai tilted his head, seeing a pretty buff man pointing a gun at him using one hand, the other clutching his shoulder. Guess the bullet nicked it.

”Tt- Redhood, you can put your gun down.” Robin huffed, seeing the two of them currently having a stand-off. “Well how can I do that when this kid is pointing one at me too?” Redhood replied. “And he fired at me!” Redhood added, feeling very pissy about it.

”Well, I thought you were a criminal breaking in!” Dazai shrugged, the gun hanging loosely from his fingertips. “And of course, since the little vigilante is on bed rest, I had to step in.” Dazai sighed, doing a dramatic display of pointing towards the boy on the couch.

Redhood frowned- Dazai could tell from the very expressive helmet he donned on- begrudgingly pointing his gun down. “Robin, you were MIA for three hours, and the villains you were supposed to take care of were dead.” Redhood went to his side, Robin grunting and hauling himself up with his help.

”I didn’t kill them, though. They stabbed me, and knocked me out. Tsk.” Robin muttered. “Then who…” Redhood started, but then whipped his head to Dazai. The said male was picking up a plaster for Redhood’s shoulder.

”You,” Redhood said, Dazai letting out a hum. “You killed them?” 

The room went silent, the atmosphere suddenly turning cold. Dazai smirked, but then transitioned into a childish grin. “Of course not! How could I possibly do that to them?” He replied, handing the plaster to Redhood.  “When I arrived, those thugs were already dead, and a little bird was situated in the middle.”

Redhood took the plaster from his hands, studying his figure. Malnourished. Bandaged. Likely hurt underneath, and a suspiciously cheerful personality. 

They had bullet wounds on their head. Redhood wanted to say, but chose to keep quiet. He saved Robin, so he’ll let him escape For now. Those thugs deserved it anyway, for the crimes they committed- he didn’t really follow bruce’s ‘no kill’ policy too.

Robin huffed, the pain starting to settle in. “Alright little bird, let’s go.” Redhood scooped him up into a princess carry, much to Robin’s chargrin. “Redhood, I do not need you to assist me.” He huffed, but still felt too tired to flail around, anyway.

Redhood snickered, before eyeing Dazai one last time. “Thanks for helping him. You saved his life.” The vigilante sent a small nod in his direction, Dazai simply giving a small smile and a wave. With that, they left through the window, to god knows where.

Dazai slumped down against his window, heaving out a sigh. “Odasaku, helping people really doesn’t feel any different.” He closed his eyes (eye), picking at his bandaged skin. An unfamiliar feeling buzzed in his chest. It was foreign- uncomfortable- Dazai wanted to rip it out. “This is stupid.” He muttered, standing up. 

“Oda, send me a sign if i shouldn’t kill myself now!” Dazai chirped, waiting a few moments. “Aw, bummer-“ Thunder shot through the sky, making Dazai jump up in surprise. “Gosh! Give me a less surprising sign!” He huffed, a hand on his chest. Rain soon started pouring, Dazai gazing at the droplets rolling off his now closed window.

”Fine. I’ll wait till tomorrow.” 

As if displeased, thunder rumbled through the clouds.

”Dead people can’t talk!” Dazai plugged his ears with his fingers, ignoring whatever very coincidental signs were sent his way. fine, he’ll just jump tomorrow, then. The mattress seemed lovely right now.

Back in the Wayne family mansion, Alfred was currently shocked at how well the wound was sutured. Well it could be better of course, but this level was just enough to stop the bleeding, and  allow the body to heal. The person who did this likely had experience, or a mentor.

”Master Jason, do you happen to know who sutured the wound for Master Damian?” Alfred asked, wheeling him back into the medical room. The family was currently around them, concern for their sibling radiating off of their very being.

“A kid did. he saved him, patched him up, and also has very good reaction time and senses.” Redhood answered, sighing. ”Well, he has exceptional skill.” Alfred raised a brow, inserting an IV drip into Damian’s arm. The operation had been a success- mostly due to the fact that the wound was already carefully sutured quite well. Damian was currently sleeping peacefully due to the anaesthesia.

”A kid?” Bruce spoke up. Everyone instataneously groaned. “What?” Bruce questioned, arms crossed against his chest. They promptly ignored him.

”Where does he live? We should give him a visit.” Dick spoke up. He was both curious and concerned for the supposed ‘saviour’, eager to have a look. ”He lives in crime alley.” Jason pinched the bridge of his nose. “Crime alley?” Dick’s eyes widened in surprise. Honestly- was that place even inhabitable? 

“Hn. We can visit him tomorrow. Let’s wait for the rest to come back from patrol, then we can debrief.” Bruce went off to the meeting room, Dick and Jason following behind with an ‘aye, aye’.