Chapter Text
He was dead.
JJ was dead.
Which was weird, because it didn’t make sense for JJ to be dead. It didn’t feel real, to anybody, not to Cleo, not to Sarah, even Rafe was in shock.
They simply watched, frozen in time, as a piece of John B, Kiara, and Pope die right there along with JJ.
They could only watch as Kiara screamed for her lover who couldn’t comfort her anymore. Who couldn't tell her that he was fine, since “stupid things have good outcomes all the time,” and that she shouldn’t worry because he would always be there.
As John B cried for his brother, the one consistent thing for his life, gently uttering words to the now silent boy just like he would when JJ showed up to the Chateau, bruised and broken, from his fathers hands. This time John b wouldn’t be able to fix it with a hug, and a few soft words. JJ would never be able to hug him back with a laugh, JJ would never laugh again. He would forever stay silent.
As Pope shed soft tears, shaking his head slowly as he realized there was no saving JJ. He would never laugh with his best friend, never share a drink, or argue. Pope hated arguing, but he would do anything just to argue with JJ one last time. Pope would never be able to say, “I love you too Buddy.”, to his now fallen friend, and Pope could only hope JJ did in fact know that Pope loved him.
They all hoped JJ had a happy life, that he died peacefully, though knowing he did die peacefully only hurt more. JJ had never had a happy life, he never had a peaceful moment, and the past week just made everything worse. He died peacefully because he wanted to die. To JJ, dying was an out of his life, from all his pain.
Nobody could comfort the three broken people, who lost a whole piece of themselves within a matter of seconds, because they knew nothing they said would change the fact JJ would never come back. All of them knew the only person who would be able to comfort Kiara, John B, and Pope, let alone get close to them, was JJ Maybank, but now he was gone.
JJ would never be able to comfort them again. He would never hug them, or say “I love you.” JJ would never again drink too much for his own good, or yell because that's all he was taught, he would never get the chance to do reckless things that gave everyone else a mini heart attack.
To JJ the feeling of crossing that line between life and death was comforting, he finally crossed the line, he had finally run out of luck. Nobody had thought the day would even come..
He would forever be the boy who suffered for 19 short years.
JJ never got his happy ending.
Now, he would forever stay buried in the sand of Morocco as his friends lay, his cold, pale body, in the cold dark sand. JJ would forever stay silent and alone, which was horrible because JJ was never silent, he hated the cold, and barely even liked being in the dark for long periods of time. Though worse than all that? JJ’s deepest fear was to be left alone, with none of his friends by his side. ,
All of his dislikes, all his fears came true as Rafe slowly started to place the sand on top of JJ, who couldn't even do anything about it. He slowly disappeared into the dirt as the smile he died with started to haunt each and everyone of them.
Burring JJ made it real, which was worse than seeing his dead body. At least when they saw JJ’s body, they could picture his smile, his laugh. He simply looked like he was sleeping after an interaction with Luke. That's how he always looked, as he laid his head on one of his friends laps and slowly fell asleep, looking half dead, as his bruises deepened and his cuts stopped bleeding.
If Kiara wasn’t screaming John B would have thought JJ had just gotten badly beat up, if he didn’t check JJ’s pulse, like he used to do, he wouldn’t have known. JJ had looked like this before, but he always had a pulse because he was never truly dead.
He was dead.
It just didn’t make sense.
It just wouldn’t click for Kiara, who had loved the blonde boy more than she even loved herself. Kiara had always been intelligent, she knew deep down that he was dead, but she wouldn’t let herself accept it. She had finally found her match in life, her lover. Someone who cared about the things she liked, who listened to her, who respected her boundaries and her thoughts. It didn’t make sense that the one person who had always been there for her, even if sometimes she didn’t want him to be, was gone for good. The one person who could always make her laugh, no matter what had no chance of returning to her. Kiara had known him for years, not quite as long as JJ had known the others, and definitely not as close as he had been with their other two friends, even if she joined the friend group soon after Pope. JJ didn’t like her for a while, she understood it, he hated change, regardless, they eventually saw each other as friends, as family, and at the very end, soulmates. Kiara wished it would be like that forever.
JJ was beyond annoying, he was stupid, and so reckless. He did shit that could have killed him, and she hated him for it, yet he always survived. She loved him though, Kiara always had, through everything, she loved him and JJ had loved her.
He was a total idiot, but he was Kiaras idiot.
It never would add up for Pope, who had been friends with JJ since late elementary school. Which was odd, Pope was the smart one, he knew the difference between reality and hope. Yet Pope still hoped that JJ would defy everything and rise back up, smiling as if nothing had happened. He knew that everything happened for a reason; The group getting on that ship to save Sarah, ended with them meeting Cleo, and getting gold. Getting stuck on that island made them all closer and gave them a moment of peace. He knew hundreds of different solutions and equations, all which he could figure out within minutes. The one equation he could not figure out was why JJ was destined to die. There wasn’t a reason, there wasn’t a need. JJ was the best person he could have as a friend. He deserved better, there couldn’t be a reason for him to the ending he did, in the way he did.
JJ sacrificed so much for him. JJ sacrificed everything for his friends.
Pope got mad at him often, he yelled, and sometimes he even overlooked JJ. He overlooked how his best friend was feeling, about his family situation for a while, about their life, but so much was going on. JJ was simply put on the backburner, by everyone.
Pope had always thought he would have more time. He never even thought about the chance that one of them could die, let alone JJ Maybank.
It couldn’t make sense for John B, who had been best friends with JJ since the 3rd grade. JJ was his brother, how could he simply just die like that? The one person who knew everything about John B would never know another thing. JJ had gotten into dangerous situations before, he had lived in a dangerous situation, but he had always come out fine. JJ survived it all and walked out of every bad situation with a smile; even if the smile was fake, he had acted like he was fine. John B had imagined often everyone else being dead, Sarah, Kie, Pope, sometimes Cleo. The only person who could get him out of those thoughts, get him out of blaming himself for everything, was JJ.
John B never even thought, for a moment, that his brother could actually die.
He could actually just stop existing.
JJ had seen John B through the good and the bad moments, he had seen JJ through the best moments to the worst. The two of them had always been there for eachother, no matter what happened. JJ was the best person John B would ever know. JJ was John B’s brother, nobody could ever amount to that, not even Sarah.
When times were tough, JJ was the only person who was there, who wasn’t scared to push him until he broke. They were brothers, even in death. John B would forever remember the good times between the two of them.
JJ was the one person nobody thought could die. He was also the one that deserved the ending he received the least. That boy had been through hell and back throughout his entire life, everyone knew that.
He had been abused and beaten so badly to the point, JJ had thought he was going to die, so badly that the bruises were still vibrant weeks later. Even throughout everything that happened in his life, JJ still smiled.
He was happy and full of joy, at least when he was with his friends.
JJ protected everyone he knew, and loved them with every single bone in his body. He even loved Luke, who never deserved it. But JJ didn’t care, not when it came to those he loved. He never thought twice about using that gun to protect John B at the bonfire, or stealing the phantom for JB and Sarah, or taking the blame of sinking the boat for Pope resulting in him getting beat by Luke. He never thought twice about breaking into the kook camp to rescue Kiara, or even jumping in the ocean during a storm to save Sarah while he was almost blackout drunk.
He just did it.
He never even wanted anything in return.
For growing up the way he did, with being raised by Luke, JJ was the best person you could have as a alie, he was the most amazing friend you could ever dream of having. JJ was the outlier. He was the least selfish, most caring, and funny person. He was the best person you could have in your life, because like it or not he would be there for you. When it mattered, he was right there by your side, no matter what.
JJ would do anything for his friends.
If JJ knew he died, and he got the chance to make a different choice 4 years ago, he wouldn’t change a thing. If it meant Kie got her best friend back, John b and Pope found their soulmates, and Sarah got away from her dad, if John B got clouser for his father, and his friends were genuinely happy, JJ would gladly die a painful death without hesitation. He would gladly live a painful life, if it meant his friends didn’t need to.
JJ deserved a happy ending, an ending with Kiara, living in a kook house with a pond and many koi fish. Somewhere where they could have kids and live, free. Somewhere close to his friends, away from Luke and that damn house. He deserved that and even more, how could the one person who deserved a happy ending more than anyone else, not be able to collect it. They could just die? JJ would never be able to get his happy ending because in less than 20 years he died, and unfortunately for him many of those years were spent with suffering, anxiety, and abuse.
He didn't get away from all of that abuse until he was 16, then it went to being scared of his friends dying, which didn’t end until he was 18.
He died from his father. Which was morbidly ironic, because JJ had always thought he would die by the hands of his father. He was correct, it wasn’t Luke who killed him. It was Groff.
JJ truly only had less than two years of being free from everything.
It wasn’t fair.
It had been 2 days since they returned to the Outer Banks.
It had been exactly one week since Kiara had screamed for both John B and Pope's help. One week exactly since she had been crying harder than she ever had before. It had been one week since she stood there helpless with JJ dying right in front of her and she couldn’t do a thing about it. It had been one week since she had heard JJ’s laugh, or seen his face.
Now she was just alone. Even though all her friends were there with her, even though they had all experienced a loss, Kiara was alone in this. She was stuck in their room, with his stuff, in his childhood home. She was forever buried in memories of the boy she could never talk to again. It was hard for her to move, it was hard to speak, or breathe.
It was hard for Kiara to fathom living.
For the first few days after his death, Kiara had been running purely off her adrenaline. She hadn’t really processed anything that had happened, she hadn't processed the fact that JJ would never return back to them. Her focus was on getting revenge, nothing else was as important. It wasn’t just her though, she knew nobody was really processing anything, they didn’t have time.
Cleo and Sarah were the only ones that had it the easiest, not that they weren’t saddened by his death, or that it didn’t affect them. Their grief was different from the rest of them, they never got to know the real JJ for long. They saw the guy who made reckless decisions, who sometimes put them in danger, and the one who was trying to make sure everyone came out alive and together. JJ was that guy, but when everything was calm he was different. They never got to know that side of JJ for very long.
The others had. They had known all the sides of JJ, the good, the bad, the ugly. John B, Pope, and Kiara, were the ones who would forever grieve for their lost friend. They had to put him on the backburner during Morocco so they could get revenge for him. Now they were back at home, JJ wasn’t.
They knew he was dead, he just still didn’t feel dead.
There was a big part of her that wanted him to come back from the dead. It wasn’t as if people who were assumed dead never came back. Both Ward and Big John had arisen from the dead at least once, which was one more time than most.
Hell, even after overdosing multiple times and drinking himself to death, Luke was still alive.
If those three bastards could do it, why couldn’t JJ?
JJ couldn’t do it because JJ never wanted to live.
That was the difference between JJ’s death and the others. JJ wanted to die, while Luke, Big John, and Ward wanted to live. Although JJ deserved it, the others never did.
Everyone was currently in the living room, besides Pope who was going through papers in his room, talking softly while small smiles were exchanged, as Kiara simply stared into a window. She knew that nobody was really happy, she could see the look on Pope and John B’s faces, one that blatantly showed that they were in fact not happy, they were broken. Just like her.
But it was different.
She didn’t share the same love that they did, and they would never share the same love that Kiara did. While John B and Pope's hearts were now broken, a piece missing, and were in need of mending, half of her soul was gone. Nobody could fix that.
She had to watch as JJ died with a grin, they only saw him dead.
It was different, and it would haunt her forever.
“Hey Kie?” She heard Sarah say, putting a hand on her back as the blonde sat next to Kiara.
Kiara only shrugged off the hand before mumbling, “Hm?”, as she shifted her glance to face Sarah.
“How are you doing?” Sarah asked softly, slowly.
It was as if she was speaking to an inconsolable child. The girls had been walking around the place like everyone was going to break into a million pieces if they spoke too loud, laughed too much, or even moved in the wrong way. They were all broke, but they didn’t need to be treated like one.
They were not 16 anymore.
Everyone now knew that the people close to them could die. They had known their families, friends, or even just people who they knew died, but they never predicted JJ to die. It was never supposed to be one of them.
They were supposed to be fine. Out of all of them, he was supposed to be untouchable.
He was always supposed to almost close the line, never fully.
“I'm here, aren't i?” Kiara said, rolling her eyes.
She knew it sounded rude and she knew she looked like she didn’t care but she really wasn’t trying to sound rude. Kiara did appreciate the fact that Sarah cared, that all of them cared enough to check up on her. They were just trying to help and she loved that and usually it would make her happy, usually she would smile at the attempt, but couldn’t remember how to feel happy.
John B looked over from where he was sitting before he spoke, “Kiara please? She's trying to help.”
Kiara slowly closed her eyes slowly before taking a deep breath as she started to run her hands in her hair, “I know. I know. Sorry.
“It's fine, Kie, and I know. But that doesn’t mean you're okay and- I mean you don’t have to be. You know that right?”
She didn’t respond, she didn't know how to. That left Sarah the ability to continue with her scrambled talking, “I mean Kiara you loved him, we all loved him, but have you processed that? It's only been a week, Kie, i know the others are struggling, it's not a bad thing if you are. We can help you.”
“Sarah-” Kiara started to say before stopping.
“What's wrong?”
“Just stop.” Kiara whispered before getting up to leave.
Sarah only sighed sadly. Pope soon entered the living room, seeing what the commotion was. He slowly walked over to the rest of the group, staring full at Kiara as she started to storm out of their house. “Where are you going?”
“Home.”
Kiara and her parents had a weird dynamic. She had never really gotten along well with them, especially her father, at least not since she started being friends with the boys after her kook year. After the first summer with the gold and John B;s supposed death eventhing between them had just gone downhill.
The thing was, her parents loved her more than anything on this planet, she knew that. Kiara knew they didn;t want her hanging out with the boys because they had thought the boys were a bad influence on her, that they only wanted one thing from her.
It had been true, to a certain extent. She knew they liked her, it was obvious, but that never got in the way of their friendship and they never ever tried anything on her. SUre they joked and they flirted sometimes but, if she said no, they respected that. If she told them they went too far, they respected it. They respected her, her thoughts, her boundaries way more than any Kook she had ever met. John B, Pope, and JJ, were always worth disappointing her parents. Those boys were the best thing to ever happen in her life.
Those boys saved her life.
But right now, she couldn’t face those boys because one of the key ingredients was missing, even if she wanted to be with them right now, to cope with her friends that's not what she needed. She needed her mom. The same way she needed her mom the moment she had though John B and Sarah died.
She loved her parents, she missed having that relationship with them. Her friends had been worth the distinct, and her parents had done some messed up stuff, but they were still her parents, and Kiara was still 19.
She was a child, one who just lost a long time friend, a lover, and savior all at once.
Kiara eventually arrived at her house, slowly walking up the steps to get to her porch; she wasn’t sure if this was a good idea. Last time she tried to come back home to her parents, they turned her away, turned JJ away. This time she didn’t have JJ and she just hoped they would be there for her, just like they had been two years ago.
She slowly knocked on the door before turning around and leaning on the wall, there was still a chance she could run, go back to her friends and just try to deal with it.
Then the door opened, her mom started right at her, it was too late now. They locked eyes, regardless of Kiara being a few inches taller than her mom, her mom slowly took a step outside not bothering with closing the door behind her. “Kiara?”
The moment her mom said her name, tears started to flood her eyes, “Mom.” she replied, her voice breaking as she spoke.
Within seconds her mom was right in front of her, wrapping her arms around her daughter,and slowly shushing her daughter. No matter what, Kiara was her daughter. “Kiara, baby what happened?” Her mom spoke as she slowly rubbed circles onto Kiaras back.
Kiara wasn’t a hugger, she rarely even liked people touching her, but in the moment it was nice, feeling her mothers love once again was exactly what she needed.
“Baby, what's wrong?” Her mother asked once again.
Kiara only cried harder in response, before gaining the ability to talk. “He's dead, mom.” She replied, each word sounding more broken and strained than the rest. “He died.”
“Okay, okay baby.” Her mom said before moving Kiara over to the chair, and letting her sit down, “Who died baby? What happened, Kie?” She asked once again, sitting next to her daughter as she continued to rub circles onto her back.
It took everything in her to say his name out loud, “JJ.”.
Her mom didn;t say anything for a few solid seconds before gripping Kiara tighter and muttering, “Oh Baby, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry Kiara.”
“Why did he have to die mom?” Her mom didn’t respond for a while, she simply just held her daughter in her arms.
She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t like JJ, or Pope, or John B, but she never hated them, not like her husband did. Sure she didn’t like how they weren’t great influences on her daughter, nor did she like the fact that Kiara was always there, at nightimes at daytimes, before and after school, she was with those boys.
But then she would see them at the diner. She would see them dancing and being children, see them make her laugh, something she never did when at home or with her Kook friends. Anne didn't mind feeding them, or letting them in at the diner, Mike was the one who had a problem with it.
Anne remembered how Mike was when they met, how he was very similar to JJ, a boy from a shitty home, with not a lot of food, good influences, and no structure. Anne didn’t care either, she loved him, the same way Kiara loved JJ and the rest of her friends.
So Anne would let them stay at the dinner a few hours later than she should, she would send Kiara with some extra food, drinks, and sometimes even medical stuff, because they were still just teenagers. She knew Kiara appreciated it, those boys probably did as well, heavens knew they needed it. Those boys were skinny, especially JJ who looked like he never ate, though he probably didn’t, growing up how he did.
If her giving them some extra food behind her husband's back ment those boy ate that day, so be it.
Everyone kept on forgetting, they were still teenagers. They were all still kids.
She never would've thought that one of them died, let alone JJ, her daughter loved him so much and she couldn’t even imagine the pain.
God knows that boy didn’t deserve it.
Anne knew how he grew up, with Luke, that bastard. They had been friends, years ago before Luke was a shitty human being, sometimes even the Heywards and John B’s Mom, had known each other when they were younger. The group hadn't been an amazing friend group, hell they were never as close as their kids, but they knew each other.
Anne could remember how Luke was when he got drunk, or when his anger issues were bad, that's why the man rarely drank. The moment he had JJ, everything was different. He drank non stop, he threw things and yelled, that when they stopped being friends.
She felt bad for the boy.
Anne finally answered after a few minutes, “I don't know baby. I don’t know. He didn’t deserve that, none of you did. Your children. We should have protected you guys, including him. I'm sorry Kiara, I'm so sorry.”
“He should be here.” Kiara had stopped crying, now she just sounded empty which was in fact way worse.
“I know, baby. I know.”
The Pouges slowly watched as Kiara stormed out of the house, not moving to follow her. It wouldn’t have done any good, it would’ve simply pissed Kiara off more than she already was and, well, Kiara was not a person you wanted to mess with, not unless absolutely necessary.
The moment she was out of sight both John B and Pope exchanged glances for a few solid seconds, leaving John B to quickly motion for the room next to them, which so happened to be Popes. He slowly walked into the room, Pope following him, as both boys sat on the bed, looking anywhere but each other.
After a few minutes John B spoke, “It's weird, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, it is.”
John B nodded before once again speaking, “I just ever thought he wouldn’t be here, ya know? I mean, he was the only who was so sure of everyone's survival, hes who made us who we are, how do we just-” He paused, not knowing what to say, or at least not wanting to say what he meant’
In reality he was asking how to live without JJ, but that was a shitty thing to ask, because he still had Pope who was his best friend. He still had Sarah and their newborn child, who shouldn;ve been the most important thing in his life. John B still had Kiara who he had known for years and was practically his little sister, and Cleo who was one of his best friends.
Apparently he didn’t have to finish his sentence, Pope simply answered with, “I don’t know.” before taking a deep breath. “I don’t know John B, but we'll figure it out.”
“Yeah.”
Pope sighed after a few minutes before laying backwards on the bed, so he was facing the ceiling, “Do you remember, when we were like 14, my parents were out of town so i was at your house and, well JJ was always at the Chateau, but your dad was at work of something? But it was raining outside and JJ was bored,”
“Yeah.” John B replied with a small smile, before laying down on the bed next to his friend. “He was so eager to climb that fucking tree.”
Pope nodded before adding to the story.“Then he did it, and slipped on a branch, making him fall down like 6 feet down, and when we were all freaking out, calling him stupid for climbing it. What did he say?”
“Stupid things, have good outcomes all the time.” Both boys mocked, at the same time, making them laugh.
John B grinned saying, “And he never gave that sentence up. Ever. Fucking idiot.”
“Do you think he knew?” Pope suddenly asked.
The other only looked at him curiously before Pope continued, “I never told him that I loved him, like ever. I did, I mean I did love him ya know. If I knew this was gonna happen I would've told him any chance I got, I just didn’t expect to not be able to tell him.”
John B looked back over at Pope, thinking for a few seconds before he responded. “He knew.”
“Bu-”
“Pope, he knew. For the record, if i knew JJ would’ve-” John B took a deep breath before continuing, “If i knew he would have ended up like this, hell even if i knew how bad he was doing right before his, before it.” Death. It still hurt to say out loud, not that he would know. He had been avoiding saying it outloud, he barely even liked thinking about the word. “I would've never gone on that hunt, even if it meant not knowing about my Dad,”
Pope shook his head gently, “That's not on you dude.”
“It is.”
“JJ would hate you for saying that.”
John B rolled his eyes, playfully before he responded with, “He also hated me when I told him energy drinks did not suffice as a meal, nor did 3 chicken nuggets, so i’ll take it.. I'm worried about Kiara though, for real.”
Pope nodded in agreement, “Yeah. She’s acting more like she did in her kook year. I mean not that I blame her, she's been through a lot, we all have. I just, i dont want her to do anything stupid or dangerous.”
“Do you think shes gonna-”
“No clue, I hope not. She knows she can come to us.”
John B nodded in agreement before pointing out that fact, “Sometimes that's not enough. We'll figure it out though.”
“We always do.” Pope agreed.
Suddenly a huge banging started at the front door, the two boys suddenly sat up from the bed as they could hear a few voices screaming. Both boys quickly rushed out of the room as they relied it was both Cleo and Sarah who were yelling, attempting to see what all the commotion was they quickly entered to living room.
To their surprise, Shoupe was there.
“What the hell is going on?”
Shoupe looked apologetic before replying, “We are here to arrest your buddy, well both of them. Now where is JJ?” Shoupe asked looking around the room to see multiple people missing.
“He's not here, Shoupe, and he's not coming back.”
“Then where the hell is he? We had a deal, you kids bring back Groff and i let you go get him, but your back. Now where is Maybank?”
Sarah stood up, “He’s dead Shoupe. Groff killed him.” She quietly said, a tear slowly fell from her eyes, as she remembered seeing her friend on the floor, with no pulse. She didn’t get to say goodbye. None of them did. The moment the group gets a little piece and quiet, the chops show up trying to separate them? It was stupid.
Shoupe looked shocked, taking a small step backwards as Sarah blatantly told him the truth, “What.”
“Groff stabbed him. Can’t arrest someone who's dead, Shoupe.”
“I'm sorry for your loss.” Shoupe stated, receiving glares in response, “I am. JJ was a good kid, got in a lot of trouble, but he didn’t deserve this. I'm sorry kids.”
They all nodded as Pope replied, “Thanks, I guess. This mean you're still gonna arrest me?”
“Kid, I have to. I don't got a choice right now, but under the circumstances I'll talk to the judge, I'll try to get them to drop the charges or at least lower them.” Shoupe told them.
Pope nodded slowly before walking over to Shoupe, who in return put a set of handcuffs on the boy, slowly grabbing Pope by the arm and leading him out to the police car that was parked outside their home.
Unfortunately that was the exact moment Kiara decided to come back to the house. She entered the house confused as she watched Pope get led out to the cop car.
“What the hell?” Kiara yelled as Pope willing sat in the car. “What's going on?” Her voice was raw, and her eyes were obviously red, showing that she had been crying for a good amount of time.
She went over to the car looking angry, giving John B his sigh to stop her before she got herself or another person arrested. He quickly rushed over to her, grabbing her arms and pulling her back as she tried to lunge at the cop car, which was stupid. Then again, Pope had done the same thing not that long ago.
“Kie! Kie, relax!” John B whispered as he led her inside, “It's gonna be fine! Alright?”
Kiara shook her head in disagreement, “Pope just got arrested! You call that fine?! Nothing in the past few weeks has been fine!”
John B nodded his head as he looked at Kiara, fully looked at her. She looked horrible, not in a way she was ugly, she wasn’t. In a way that she looked practically dead inside, she looked so broken and none of them knew how to fix that.
He quickly put his arms around her, holding her tightly. To his surprise she hugged him back, resting her head on his shoulder. John B could tell she needed it, he did as well, because they had just two of their best friends within a month.
“We'll figure it all out Kiara, I promise.”
He could feel his shirt start to feel wet, as tears fell from Kiaras eyes, but he didn’t move. John B didn’t need to, nor did he want to. If this is what it took for Kiara to feel something, then this is what it took.
He loved Kiara, she was family.
John B had known her for a long time, and was grateful to call her his friend. At that moment in time, she was the only person left from his original friend group. Pope had been arrested, JJ was gone forever, Kiara was the only one here. He would hold onto that. He needed to.
“We’ll get him back, Kie.” John B muttered softly. “Well make it through this.”
“Kiara, let's go upstairs, yeah?” Cleo asked Kiara, who was now sitting down on the couch.
John B and Kiara had broken up the hug a few minutes ago, as John B walked outside to go do something, leaving Kiara behind, sitting on the couch. She was staring at a wall, not moving, or saying a thing. Which makes sense, she was likely in shock from everything that has happened.
Kiara liked to act as if she didn’t need anyone. She liked to seem tough, but in reality you can only stay that way for so long.
Everyone had a breaking point, Kiaras just happened to be the death of JJ.
Sarah, who was sitting besides Kie on the couch, nodded in agreement as she spoke. “Yeah it's probably a good idea, besides it's getting late, why don’t we just go to bed? Deal with everything in the morning?”
To both of their approval, Kiara nodded willingly. Sarah and Cleo both stood up before helping Kiara get up off the couch, leading her upstairs to her room. Kiara followed, allowing the two girls to lead her upstairs and eventually lay down on the bed.
Kiara didn’t bother to change her clothes, or go wash her face for the night. She just needed to be there, she needed her friends to help her, she needed them with her. Kiara couldn;t be bothered to do the stuff she liked to do nightly, it didn;t matter.
Not as she might lose another person who was important to her.
So today, she would accept the help. She would listen to instructions as the girls helped her into bed. In a normal situation, this would have pissed her off. Kiara usually hated physical touch, she hated people doing things for her, especially when she was capable of doing it on her own, but now it was different. She felt so empty, she couldn;t really do much on her own at the moment, so the help was nice. It was refreshing to let others be there for her.
Cleo and Sarah eventually laid down next to her on the bed, not saying a word. They didn’t need to, they were there with her.
It was enough.
For now, it had to be enough.
Nobody was okay.
They hadn’t been since the day he died. None of them had, not Cleo and Sarah, not Pope, definitely not Kiara, who had been a nervous wreck, though nobody blamed her. It was different for those people, they loved JJ, cared about him, and his death broke them, It hurt.
For John B, the pain was different. He didn’t quite know how to feel. JJ was the person who always helped him out when shit got bad. JJ was the one who took care if him when he didn;t know how to cope in life.
When his father was gone, JJ was the one person who was right there by his side. He listened while John B ranted about his dad still being alive, and even though JJ didn’t believe Big John was still alive. It was improvable. Though he did believe in John B, he believed that JB couldn’t accept it.
It had only been 4 years ago, which was crazy, John B could remember the news like it was yesterday,
“Yo! John B, where ya at?!” John B could hear JJ shout from the other room, likely just entering the house.
JJ came over to the Chateau often, he was actually at John B’s house more then he was at his own house, which was a good thing. John B never turned away JJ from staying over, nor did his dad ever make JJ go home. There were some nights that John B wanted to, needed to be alone, but he never did. John B would never send JJ back to that house, ever. He often encouraged JJ staying over at the Chateau, besides he practically lived there. JJ had his clothes, school supplies, and some other necessities stored in John B’s room.
It was better that way. When JJ was at the Chateau, JB didn’t have to worry about him showing up half dead, he didn’t need to worry if JJ was eating, or sleeping, or just being treated well.
It didn’t matter if they were fighting or getting along better than ever, JJ would always be welcomed.
Though today was not the day John B wanted to deal with JJ Maybank, not that he would turn him away. John B knew JJ was trying to help, well he was succeeding at helping. Maybe that's why John B didn’t want to see him, because JJ did in fact make everything better.
The thing was, John B didn’t want to be better. Not yet at least, not for a while, how could he? His dad was still missing, he couldn’t just get better, John B didn;t want to work through it. He wouldn;t need to, Big John would come back, everyone just needed to wait it out.
Big John had gone on trips before, though they had never lasted 10 full days, nevertheless, Big John would return. John B knew it.
His dad would never leave his 16 year old son, alone.
Even if their previous conversation had been an argument, Big John loved his son more than anything, even the gold. He wouldn’t leave due to a petty argument. John B was 16 years old, his father wouldn’t just abandon him like that.
“John B?” JJ asked again before walking into the room. “Oh, there you are.”
His blonde friend quickly walked over to the bed, where John B had been living for the past week. Although John B was rotting more than he was living, he definitely smelt like it. JJ quickly jumped on the bed, landing on John B.
“JJ.” John B whined.
JJ grinned before mimicking the whine, “John B?!” He put a hand on John B’s back, moving him so they two were now facing each other, “How you doing buddy?”
“I'm fine Jay.”
The blonde only shook his head, “No, you're not. But whatever dude, that's okay, we’ll do that part later. You need food, water, and definitely a shower.”
John B shocked his head before grumbling, “No.”
“Oh, that's not an option. You are a human being, not a plant, so let's go.” JJ instructed before sighing and pulling John B so he was sitting in an upwards position, “Come on, please?”
“JJ-” John B started to say before being cut off by his friend.
JJ shook his head, “Please dude, come one. You can’t just stay in bed still you rot, you have to actually be human.”
John B shook his head, “I can.”
“I'm not letting you. Come on Bree, please?”
Bree. It was a name JJ rarely used, but it was also a name John B had a hard time disagreeing with. It was a childhood name, one that JJ only really used when he was worried, hurt, or upset, it wasn;t a name John B heard often. It worked though, reluctantly John B got out of bed, before heading to the shower he galced at JJ seeing a fresh bruise on his face,
“Shit. What happened?”
JJ only shrugged it off, “You know what happened, it doesn't matter though its only the one, okay? I'm fine. Shower.” He instriced as he pointed to the bathroom. John B reluctantly went.
“Do not use the stove JJ.” He instructed before closing the bathroom door, JJ could not cook for the life of him. He would, and has, burnt everything he makes, including microwavable mac and cheese. There was one time he filled up the whole house with smoke, leading him to be banned from touching any type of device that makes food, including the toaster.
John B was the one who cooked for the two.
It had been about 15 minutes before JJ opened up the door to the bathroom, “Um, John B, the police are here. It's about you dad.”
John B only muttered a small, “Shit.”, before exiting the bathroom not more then five minutes later.
He walked over to the front door where he saw JJ, leaning against the door, as if he didn;t want anyone to come inside, “What's going on dude?”
JJ shook his head, “Just-” He paused for a few seconds before continuing, “Let them explain dude, it'll be okay though, I promise Bree.” John B only shook his head before JJ allowed him to open the front door, showing two cops standing outside his door, one JJ recognized to be Shoupe, though he didn’t recognize the girl cop.”
“Mr. Routledge?” The girl cop asked, leading John B to nod his head in response, “Im Sheriff Peterkin, this is Deputy Shoupe, would you like to talk privately? Maybe your friend should go home?”
John B quickly shook his head no, “JJ stays.”
“Alright. Your father, Big John, has been officially declared dead by the police department. I am very sorry for your loss, but we have papers for you to sign to make everything official.” The sheriff said, slowly.
John B looked at JJ before looking back at the cops, “No, no. Fuck you! I mean you barely even looked for him-” John B started to yell, which led the Sheriff to take a step towards him in an attempt to calm the boy down. It didn’t work. “Get away from me!”
JJ quickly put a hand on his shoulder, “Hey! Relax, go inside okay?”
“JJ-”
“John B i got this, alright?” JB nodded his head as he walked inside, straight to his bed.
Once John B was out of sight JJ looked back at the cops angrily, “What the fuck is wrong with you guys?! Are you mentally deficient or something?” JJ asked, annoyed.
Shoupe quickly tried to calm the situation, “Now son-”
“No! Maybe come back in a few days or something. He needs a break, he just lost his father.” JJ stated sternly, and to his surprise they listened, even if they promised to come back soon. It was better than nothing.
JJ watched the cops leave before rushing into John B’s bedroom.
John B was laying down on his bed, silently sobbing into a pillow, as JJ entered the room. It wasn’t a pretty sight, but John B needed JJ, he wan;t going to turn away now. Not ever. JJ quickly walked over to a cabinet before grabbing a bright purple bunny and returning to where John B was. It was a bunny he kept hidden hear, as it was seen as a girly color, which his father was not fond of, even if it was left by JJ’s mother.
“Here B.” JJ said as he handed the bunny to his friend, who kindly accepted it. “I can go? If you wanna be alone for a bit? I know that was a lot-”
John B quickly cut him off, “No. Stay Jay, please?”
JJ smiled before responding, “Of course dude. Always.”, The blonde slowly slayed down next to his friend, lightly wrapping an arm around the boy, “Its gonna be okay Bree. I promise.”
He had been correct, eventually John B got through it, but without JJ he wasn’t sure he would have survived it. He wouldn’t have survived when his dad was kidnapped, or killed for real. Not without the help of JJ.
JJ was his brother, his other half.
He didn’t know how he would live without JJ, especially not for the rest of his life, but he would try. It would have been what JJ wanted, so he would try for JJ.
John B looked at the sky before speaking, “I know this is stupid so don;t make fun of me alright?” When he didn;t receive an answer he continued, “I miss you Jay, you don’t deserve this, you never did. I'm sorry about you dad, both of them. I'm so sorry JJ.”
After a solid few seconds he closed his eyes before speaking again, “I wish i could take it back, the gold hunting, every argument, if i knew this would happen i wouldn’t have gone through it all. I would do anything for you to come back JJ. If that meant i didn't have this baby, or met Sarah i would accept that. As much as I love them, you're my other half JJ. I'm so sorry man,”
He took a few deep breaths before he was able to continue, though a few tears escaped from his eyes, even as he tried his hardest not to let them fall. “You're an idiot though, Jay. A stupid idiot. You weren’t supposed to die JJ! It was never supposed to be you. You deserved better then all of this man, you were supposed to get the happy ending.”
“I love you so much JJ, you will forever be my brother.” John B paused quickly before finishing his sentence, “You will forever be missed, Buddy.” John B whispered, before taking one last deep breath, JJ knew all of this of course, but John B needed to say it again. He would forever say it, remind the blonde, even if JJ couldn’t hear him.
To JJ Maybank, who finally got a second of peace in his lifetime, even if that meant his dying a painful death. Nobody would ever be able to forget him nor would they ever want to.