Chapter Text
Seeing no other cars in the parking lot Deeks assumes he is the first to arrive at the office. He is purposefully arriving two-in-half hours early to try to catch up on paperwork after having to leave early yesterday to go clean up an LAPD mess. It’s just himself and Callen this week, so he shouldn’t be surprised to find him already in the office and half asleep at his desk.
“Good morning, Deeks, you're in early.” G says trying to appear more awake than he is. It’s pointless though given just how exhausted he is. It’s his own fault really, he doesn’t sleep to avoid nightmares but not sleeping only makes them worse in the long scheme of things. You would think he would be used to the nightmares that come when Sam is off on a mission, and he supposes he was… up until he had to identify a corpse that could have been his all those months ago.
“I could say the same about you. Did you even try to go home and sleep last night?” G knows this is a rhetorical question, and yet he still feels like he needs to defend himself. “Deeks I–” he gets out before Deeks cuts him off.
“Actually, I don’t want you to answer that, I don’t need you to answer that seeing as I already know the answer. Do I need to drag you out of the office tonight? Because I will if that is what it takes to get you to leave. But I will be taking you to mine or inviting myself into your house to make sure you sleep tonight. I can’t sit by any longer and watch you not take care of yourself when Sam is gone. I get the fear, I get your fear, but I am not going to sit by and watch the impending train wreck that is labeled ‘an over-exhausted G Callen’ if I can help it.” He exclaims, keeping eye contact making it clear that he isn’t up for debate on this, again, before looking away.
They have been doing this song and dance about G’s lack of sleep ever since Sam went off to who knows where on a need-to-know op and it's only gotten worse since Kensi left for her own op. Sure, maybe it’s not his place to make such demands of his team leader whom he has been crushing on for a while now. But it’s just the two of them for the foreseeable future and he needs his team lead-turned-partner well-rested incase shit hits the fan. It’s not like Sam wouldn’t do this exact same thing if he were here, hell, Sam probably would have drug him to his house already and sat on him until he slept.
Signing inwardly, he plasters on a smile before looking up at G, again, since he has yet to respond. He kind of wishes he didn’t look up because he is greeted THE smirk, the one that makes him weak in the knees. The one that makes those pesky butterflies flutter around in his stomach, and makes him blush like a schoolgirl. It's the smirk that graces his face when he perceives a challenge, but he couldn’t just smirk. No, that would be too easy, of course, he had to drop a flirty comment before he left the bullpen.
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Seeing the blush heating Deeks face because of the smirk on his face is a powerful stroke to his ego. He knows that as the boss he shouldn’t flirt with him, but he has ignored the pretty boy begging for his attention for far too long and he just can’t hold back any longer. He decided he could play a little too. He walks over to Deeks’s desk and looks him dead in the eyes when he says “If you wanted me to sleep with you Deeks all you had to do was ask.” He says with a wink before he saunters out of the bullpen leaving behind a very flustered Deeks, which is a shame because he does quite enjoy watching the younger man flounder a little when he is flustered.
To make up for the menace that he is to Deeks’s sanity he left the office to go get his favorite coffee and a donut noting he didn’t bring either with him today, it’s the least he can do as he plans to push Deeks buttons today. Whether he pushing these buttons to self-sabotage or to pull out more of that sass he isn’t sure yet.
The thing is he knows he needs to sleep, he knows Sam would threaten to tie him to his bed until he finally gets some sleep if he were here, but then again if he were here this wouldn’t be a problem, not as big of a problem anyways. He can’t help that his brain won't shut off for him to sleep, that he is terrified that this time he will be identifying Sam’s corpse instead of some other poor sod with a familiar build.
Maybe giving into Deeks and his demands wouldn’t be such a bad thing. Maybe knowing that there is someone right there will make the nightmares go away or make it easier to fall back asleep afterwards. He knows he is too exhausted to keep going like this much longer, so why not try something new. Perhaps allowing Deeks to fuss over him is exactly what he needs to sleep.
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When he walks back into the office, after securing coffee and donuts for both of them he finds Deeks working on his paperwork. Pretending to be unaware of his arrival, G decided to allow the charade to continue, they both really need to get caught up on paperwork anyways, as he walks over to Deeks’s desk, sitting the coffee and treat box down on top of it before returning back to his own desk.
He knows that even if a case does come in Hetty is going to pass it off to another team because he is in no shape to lead, which means it's another dull day of paperwork and training. He should be thankful for the reprieve from cases, from the horrors that cross his desk weekly. But he has never enjoyed monotony, and that has been the definition of his week thus far. Maybe that’s why his resolve to refrain from flirting with the younger man has left the building. It’s not like had to refuse his advances all this time, he still reports to LAPD and not NCIS and there are no rules about fraternization between the two different organizations, yet he still stopped himself.
“Hey G,” he hears, interrupting his train of thought. “Yeah Deeks” he says looking up to be greeted by one of Deeks more private smiles, the one that makes him smile in return without fail. One that he has only seen directed at him, and one that he hopes to keep all to himself.
“Thank you for breakfast and uhhh–” he pauses, the smile dropping from his face as he hunts for the right words, “—sorry if I was o—out of line earlier.” he stammers, his voice laced with a level of uncertainty that G hates.
“You weren’t out of line Deeks; I appreciate the concern more than you know.” There is so much more he wants to say but he holds off, so he settles for sending a soft smile in Deeks’s direction. They turn back to their outstanding paperwork, neither knowing what to say, both wishing it was less awkward.
G can’t help but kick himself as the weird silence continues between the two of them. He is sure that most of the problem is his fault. He has yet to let down his walls around Deeks when it's just them and it’s not like Deeks hasn’t tried to coax him out to play like an excitable puppy. And it’s been so very tempting to give in, to let Deeks see behind the masks he puts on, to let him be the first person to truly see him. But that is easier said than done, considering sometimes he isn’t even sure who he really is, and that’s not because he doesn’t know what “G” stands for or that he doesn’t know much of anything about his family. The problem he finds is that it’s so easy to get lost behind the masks, to lose a piece of himself each time he goes deep undercover, and he has been doing undercover work for most of his life.
He started building these skills as a child, learned to finesse them as a teen and young adult, and now it’s incredibly easy to slip into a role. He certainly doesn’t mean to use his developed skills to hide himself from those that are friends and family. However, he has had to conform to what others expect or need for so long that it’s hard to stop and just be himself.
Maybe with Deeks I can learn to appreciate the little things in life that Sam is aways on me about. Is it possible to change for and with the right person? What makes someone the right person? Is it the way they show they care? Or the way they look at you and make you feel like you are the only person in the world? Is it because they are on your mind more times than you want to ever admit out loud– well out loud to anyone else besides that special someone? That special someone who commands my attention with his cheerful demeanor, his radiant smile, his captivating baby blues that I would sell my soul for so long as they stay looking at me and that sass…why in the world am I getting philosophical and waxing poetically about Deeks right now?
He stifles a sigh when he notes the time. Seeing that it is past noon it must mean that Hetty has no assignments for them which is only going to make his day drag even more than it already is. Like clockwork or a mind reader– he still isn’t able to definitely say she can’t read minds, Hetty comes into the bullpen with an air of trouble wafting around her– and trouble, for him, she brought. “Mr. Callen, seeing as there are no cases why don’t you take Mr. Deeks out for lunch and get it comped? Somewhere nice, and take at least a full hour's lunch, I am not to see either of you before two unless I call you,” she says before she turns on heel and disappears down the hall before Callen can so much as utter a word.
“Definitely a mind reader.” It wasn’t until he heard Deeks giggles that he realized he said that aloud. Embarrassed but loving the sounds of Deeks giggles he looks up feigning confusion that he drops the second he catches a glimpse of blush on Deeks’s face, and what a sight a blushing Deeks is. Deeks is always capable of holding him captive with a simple smile, but a blushing Deeks is a thing of beauty capable of rendering him breathless every time, and he can’t find it in himself to complain that his resolve to not flirt back has gone out the window, maybe it’s time to finally do something for himself for once. If Sam can meet his wife on an op, why can’t he find his person on an op, now his team.