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Regret: a change in your perception, her expression

Summary:

"But you feel guilty about it don't you?" Elise asked, her voice teasing and knowing.
"I can feel it, way deep down here," she said, pointing at her stomach. "It feels sick. Like I've eaten too much cake. You feel sick about it."

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Elise is more sentient than Mori would like anyone to know, uncontrollable when his emotions are running high and constantly trying to get under his skin. A manifestation of his subconscious that wants to make him ill.

Notes:

this was a silly idea that hmm if Elise's appearance changes based on regret... if Elise was more conscious we think... a manifestation of Mori's subconscious that he can't control...
and then this happened. so enjoy!!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

"But you feel guilty about it don't you?" Elise asked, her voice teasing and knowing.

"I can feel it, way deep down here," she said, pointing at her stomach. "It feels sick. Like I've eaten too much cake. You feel sick about it."

"Yes, thank you Elise." Mori brushed off her words. "Speaking of cake I believe there is some on the table. Why don't you go indulge?"

"Because Rintarou keeps ignoring his subconscious! That's all I am. Your subconscious. You're thinking this, not me."

Mori frowned, looking out the window, his hands clasped behind his back.

"...The boy admires him. It's the easiest way, however it would be preferable if there was another option. A good man will die and Dazai will spend the rest of his life hating me." He sighed heavily, glancing at the chess set on a small table, game interrupted mid-way, like the opponent was waiting to take their turn. "It's for the good of the Mafia I suppose."

"... You're going to miss him," Elise said. "You know you'll regret chasing him out. He was like your son. You weren't a very good father."

Mori didn't have a response. He turned, looking at Elise. Something in her appearance had shifted. She seemed slightly younger, her eyes wide and missing a certain kind of light, her hair holding the same kind of curl that Dazai's did.

"Do you miss him already?" she asked.

Mori sighed, allowing his features to soften with remorse as he looked at Elise.

"I'm afraid I do," he admitted, returning to his desk and tracing his gloved fingers over the paper he was going to give to Dazai's best friend in mere hours, the paper that would eventually lead to his downfall.

He didn't notice Elise had gone until she reappeared sitting on the edge of his desk, playing with a coin.

The way she flipped it so it landed on each side three times in a row reminded him of a trick Dazai used to do all the time in the days where he spent countless hours under Mori's careful suicide watch.

"Heads or tails he'll kill himself when he leaves?" Elise asked, leaning forward with Dazai's usual teasing lilt in her voice, and spark of mischief in her eyes.

Mori eyed the coin wearily.

"Tails. He won't do it. He'll try, do doubt, but he won't succeed. Suicide is the one thing he's never been good at."

Elise flipped the coin, and it spun in the air repeatedly, glinting in the sunlight, until it landed on tails. Elise grinned, showing it off.

"I guess you're in luck."

Despite himself, Mori felt a weight fall off his shoulders. He sat down, crossing his legs and folding his hands in his lap, frowning at the silver oracle.

"There is a chance he doesn't die," Elise mused, slipping from the table. "We can't draw solid conclusions this early."

"Don't try and assure me as if the possibility was going to change my course of action. I have settled on this plan." Mori paused. "Lets hope that Dazai keeps himself occupied with another one of the subjects of his fascination for enough time to allow the proceedings to occur naturally."

"It's not natural if you're throwing rocks in the river to divert the flow of water," Elise said, wandering aimlessly.

Mori frowned, watching her, a crease forming between his eyebrows with every new mannerisms of Dazai's she displayed.

"Stop it," he all but demanded.

Elise dropped into a chair on the other side of the desk, her eyes no longer the bright blue that they once were, but a dark brown, almost red colour.

"You can't make me. You're guilty." She smiled emptily. "How would your subordinates feel knowing you can't control your ability fully? I could be used against you. I know everything you've ever known. Do I get inside your head?"

"Dazai always freaked you out a little bit too. Too smart for his own good. Do you regret never giving him the drug you promised him? To kill him? Or was he too valuable for that?"

Mori narrowed his eyes at her.

"Surely you would know?"

Elise just tilted her head slightly.

"Watch, I'll turn into him fully, if you're not careful." She hummed. "Maybe one day he'll come running home. You hope so, at least. You hope he'll kill you and take your place."

With a sudden wave of a slightly shaky hand, Elise dissipated into the air.

Mori stood up, clasping his hands behind his back and going to stand by the window again. He looked out at the sky, the sun, the clouds, wondering briefly where Dazai would be just now, since he had sent Chuuya out of the country.

He needed to arrange for someone to send Oda Sakunoske his summons.

The skin on the back of his neck prickled, and he turned, looking at Elise back where he had left her.

She was back to normal, aside from the slight curl in her hair and some small, imperceptible difference that Mori couldn't quite place his finger on. She sat quietly, just watching him, and Mori sighed.

"...May God forgive us all for our sins," he muttered, turning and approaching his chess board.

"He most certainly won't forgive yours."


Elise's voice echoed in his head as Dazai turned, his usual controlled expression something more panicked and fearful as he ran to try and save his friend.

Notes:

thanks for reading!!! I never write Mori centric stuff so let me know what you thought of this/the idea and consider maybe checking out my other works!!! <3

www.tumblr/blog/starcollectorsilas