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It was one moment that ruined his life. One single moment that made the carefully built tower of his life topple in on itself. He didn’t like to dwell on it, after all the past couldn’t be changed. The clock kept ticking. The memory still invaded his mind every waking and sleeping hour of his life. Nothing would have changed the outcome, it was inevitable after all. The fact that an angel such as her was around him for so long was a wonder already. But eventually she saw the truth, his true, wretched self that couldn’t shield her from it.
One moment and the truth was out. He hasn’t seen Anika since, not really. He felt lost, blind and deaf to the world around him even as he kept going because he had to, he didn’t have a choice. He never had a choice.
He hasn’t seen Anika since. Except, there was a voice, her voice whispering into his ears. In the corner of his eyes he saw her figure, she would always be there, watching him at his lowest. Even during rare times he could actually be alone with himself, oh how he loathed the way he was falling deeper into an abyss.
“Oh come on, at least look at me properly,” the voice purred, trying to lure him like a siren would a sailor. Strato wanted nothing more than to jump head first into the waters to try and reach her. The tone of voice, though unfamiliar because she has never sounded this way when talking to him, still managed to make a shiver go down his spine. He was a weak man, oh so very weak.
When Strato lifted his gaze he met green eyes, burning like acid, in the reflection of the windows. Her smile was sly, a cat who caught her dinner. He really was caught in the palm of her hands and the mocking tone shouldn’t be as attractive as it was coming from his sweet Anika.
“Let me save you,” the taunt made his breath stutter and he could swear the weight of hands on his shoulders was real. “All you need to do is surrender,” she continued, hands gliding down front his chest. No matter what barrier, her touch left his skin practically scorched. Like the fire that should be his home.
Surrender. Surrender to this feeling, surrender to her. A hand grabbed his heart and squeezed so tight it hurt. If he'd surrender, would that feeling ever end?
“No,” she said, as if she could hear his very thoughts. Maybe she did, maybe she always could and the satisfaction of knowing him to his core and ruining it was what spurred her on. Her eyes didn't have any mercy for the pain he was feeling, not that he deserved it.
In an instant, she went from behind to in front of him, forcing him to look into her eyes again, with hands on his jaw. They held no sympathy or kindness, not in the way he knew them to shine usually. The angel who had saved him so long ago was far from sight, but her face would still entice him, a sick knot growing in his stomach as he refused to entertain any further thoughts.
She still seemed to know his thoughts once more and clicked her tongue in displeasure, fingers running up his throat, along his Adam’s apple to his chin. Everything around felt as if cast in a darkness different from the usual type found in the city. The soft pitter of rain against the window drowned out by the sound of blood rushing in his head. He felt dizzy from it all.
“Am I not everything you want?” The grip around his heart grew tighter, practically stopping its beat entirely. He had no answer to that and she knew that, leaving the question to echo in the confines of his room, or perhaps just inside his head. There wasn’t much difference as far as he was concerned.
He blinked, and the milliseconds it took to close his eyes, she was gone once more. She was never there in the first place, he tried to remind himself but the room still felt emptier. The ache in his chest however hasn’t lessened. Perhaps it had gotten even worse, though he could hardly tell.
The clock kept ticking. He caught himself thinking, even if for a moment, he wanted her back, just so he wasn’t alone. Just so he could look at her again.
Happy Valentine’s Day.