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Jean is and always will be grateful for his friends. Even though they get on his nerves sometimes, well, one of them gets on his nerves sometimes- he knows they’ll always have his back.
He didn’t meet all of them at once, at first, it was only Connie and Sasha. When moving away from his family for college, Jean thought least about the possibility of not making any friends. He had to set up his dorm, learn to live completely by himself, get a job, preferably, and start living comfortably again.
But then, on the second day of having officially moved into the dorm, this bald guy comes in and Jean’s hopes of having a normal roommate dissipate quickly. On the second day, Connie invites this random chick, who apparently was his best friend in the entire world, into their dorm. Now, Jean wouldn’t have a problem with that, if he had known before he had gotten into the shower. He walks out, only a towel hanging around his waist, and sees Connie and this girl completely devouring a packet of chips while watching a movie.
Looking back on it now, Jean wouldn’t have it any other way. Connie and Sasha gained a new “best friend in the whole world”, and Jean gained two.
What came next wasn’t really that straightforward.
Sasha kept talking about her roommate and her boyfriend, how cute they were together and all that jazz, so Jean and Connie evidently became a bit curious about the two of them. They agreed to all hang out at Sasha and her roommates dorm, given that it was tidier than Jean and Connie’s.
The sight that greeted Jean when he entered the dorm was comical. This gorgeous, well-dressed girl was sitting next to this totally normal guy who was just… there. The look on Jean’s face had probably given him away, or at least that’s what he thinks it was that started this rivalry between him and Eren. Thankfully, at the end of the night, the tension between Jean and Eren had sizzled out and they exchanged a few meaningful words.
Since then, after convincing Eren that, no, he doesn’t have the hots for his girlfriend, every insult shared between them turned into silly banter which entertained everyone, so they kept going.
Lastly, the last member of their friend group (and also Jean’s favourite, but nobody else has to know), Armin.
Jean vividly remembers the night he first met Armin:
It was a few nights after he had met Eren and Mikasa, early August. Eren had said something about inviting their friend to Sasha and Mikasa’s dorm, and that Jean and Connie should come meet him. Jean and Connie got there pretty early, so they had to wait a bit for Mikasa, Eren and this mystery friend to show up. A knock came on the door and Sasha went to open it. At that point, Jean had been bored half to death and had been staring at his phone screen for the past five minutes with Connie lying beside him. He looked up to greet everyone when he saw him.
Eren and Mikasa’s friend, Armin. He had the most angelic blonde hair, beautiful blue eyes which reminded him of the sea in his hometown, a cute button nose and rosy cheeks. It took Jean a few seconds to greet the most gorgeous person he had ever laid eyes upon, but he reasoned that it was pretty understandable. He must have been standing there looking like an idiot, because next thing he knew, Connie had gotten up to shake Armin’s hand and introduce himself- that should’ve been Jean, instead he’s still lying on the bed completely dumbfounded and probably drooling!
Jean shook his head and stood up as well, his knees growing a bit weak when Armin introduced himself, but he managed to stay upright.
Since then, Jean learned that Armin wasn’t all looks, he was awfully knowledgeable and intelligent. He isn’t all smarts either, he’s kind, caring and super compassionate. He’s hilarious, when he’s trying to or not. Jean always seeks his company, invites him to study together even though they don’t have any shared classes, they text each other outside of the group chat, telling the other person about their day. At this point, everyone except the man himself has reached the obvious conclusion – Jean is completely, utterly, in love with Armin.
Now, Jean also clearly remembers the night he realised he was in love with Armin as well:
They were sitting on the side of Jean’s bed, leaning against the wall. They were alone in the dorm, Connie having gone to the common room with Sasha to load up on snacks.
Jean had his laptop on his lap, Armin leaning into his right a bit to look at the laptop as well, they had been watching a documentary to relax a bit, it’s a thing only they do. No one else from their friends enjoys and finds documentaries so relaxing. Jean opened youtube to see the full clip of something mentioned in the documentary, when on his homepage he found a video about a theory on a childhood game he used to be fired up about.
“You know this too?” Armin exclaimed, his face lighting up.
“Oh, you’re only talking to the master of-”
“Oh, yeah? Then…” Armin cut him off, then proceeded to ask an obscure question about the game, which Jean answered with ease, this made Armin’s eyes light up even more.
Armin continued to ramble about everything regarding the game, and Jean realised he could listen to his voice forever. The light in his beautiful eyes, which were widened because of excitement, was so breathtaking Jean found it painful to look away.
After both of them talking for what felt like hours, Jean found it difficult to respond to anything with anything that wasn’t an “I love you, I love you so much, please speak to me like this forever, please always smile like this when you’re talking with me,” so he opted to just shut up until Connie came home, which was harder than expected.
Later, Jean saw Armin off to the door, and then stayed up all night texting him, where he found it easier not to proclaim his love every five seconds.
Now, Jean is sitting with a predicament on his hands. Everyone had agreed that it would be fun if they did a Secret Santa for the upcoming holidays. They were to all choose a name randomly from a hat, then give the things they’d bought for the person on New Year’s, where they would meet up in Eren’s house, which is left alone that night.
Jean wouldn’t have a problem with this, if the little paper he pulled from the hat didn’t have Armin’s name written on it. This immediately made him suspicious, because everyone knows that Jean likes Armin, so this may be a plot to set them up somehow. Jean usually doesn’t appreciate people messing with his personal life, but the others looked innocent enough, so he decided to let them off the hook.
He had ordered Armin the latest book from the series Armin likes, a video game which he saw was on sale that Jean had promised to play with Armin in the future. Jean also decided to order a little silver bracelet, which is a reference to their favourite childhood game. Alright, the budget limited him to the book and game, so he decided he would give it separately, since it’s something only Jean and Armin would get, anyway.
It’s December 27th now, and Jean is on a call with Connie debating whether he should write a letter in the gift expressing his love and gratitude (very platonically) to Armin.
“Dude, he definitely likes you back, just go for it,” Connie says, and Jean’s sure he’s heard that sentence a million times already.
“It would ruin everything if he doesn’t like me back! It’s not worth the risk, I’d rather we just be friends,” Jean hears Connie mutter something like bullshit , but he continues anyway, “Look at how perfect everything is! I just don’t wanna risk anything going wrong!”
“Look, everyone , even Mikasa, thinks you two should get together already. Even Mikasa , who is one of Armin’s best friends, I’m sure your smartass can figure out what that entails.”
"Mikasa just wants to fuck with me, Armin’s too nice to hate me after this so she sees it-”
“Oh my god, I can’t do this anymore. Listen man, my advice – just give him the stupid note, you said it yourself, Armin’s too nice, so even if he doesn’t like you back, nothing will change all that much.”
Jean thinks about it for a second, and is about to agree with Connie, but at the end of the day, “I’m a coward! I can’t do this shit… Even if I write the stupid note, I still wouldn’t have the balls to give it to him!”
“I don’t know what you want me to say, man. Be miserable for the rest of your college life?”
Jean frowns, “I don’t want that-”
“Then grow a pair, write that letter, or better yet – tell him in person !” After this Connie hangs up and Jean is left alone in his childhood bedroom. He supposes it would be better if he were to tell Armin about it to his face, he would see Armin’s reaction and truly know that it’s over. Yes, yes! He’s telling Armin he likes him on New Year’s Eve, if he doesn’t, well, it probably wouldn’t be that much of a loss, he would have to wait until the next opportunity.
A couple of days pass and it’s finally the faithful day, Jean loads up his bags in his car and starts driving to Eren’s hometown, which is thankfully close to the town where they go to college. Jean checks for the third time if Armin’s present is still in the backseat, and if the little box with the necklace is still in his back pocket, which thankfully – they are.
He arrives at the address and rings the doorbell, quietly hoping it’s the right house. He gets his confirmation when he hears Eren shouting for someone to get the door. Jean fiddles a bit with the carefully wrapped present, checking once more for any wrinkles, when the door opens and he sees a familiar mop of blonde hair.
Armin is dressed in comfortable-looking pants and a truly ugly Christmas sweater. His hair is half-tied up and his eyes are so beautiful Jean doesn’t know how he’s survived two weeks without them.
“Hi, Jean, come in,” Armin says, slower than usual, which makes Jean realise that Armin’s probably been starting to feel cold while Jean’s been standing there staring at him. Great.
“Yeah, hi, sorry,” Jean says, and shoots an apologetic smile. Armin moves a bit so Jean can get through the door.
Jean awkwardly hands Armin the present so he can take off his shoes. In the corner of his eyes he sees Armin look at it curiously, “Don’t even try to guess what it is,” he says, amused by the way Armin frowns and just starts inspecting it more.
“It’s your fault you handed it to me,” Armin says decidedly. Jean stands up properly and tries to forcibly take the present from Armin, which he doesn’t let go of. Now, they’re both holding onto the present, their hands touching. Jean wills all of his brain cells to keep working.
Armin lightly tugs the box towards him, smiling like the little devil he is. Jean adores him. Jean tugs a little to his side as well, but Armin doesn’t let go. Finally, deciding that he’s had enough, Jean tugs the box at full strength towards himself, but still Armin doesn’t let go, he hangs on until the end, which leads to him being pulled really close to Jean’s body, too close. They sit like that a little, Jean leaning against the wall, Armin close to him, just the present separating them. Armin’s giggles die down, and all that’s left is silence, just the two of them staring into each other’s eyes. Jean manages to not confess and kiss Armin right then and there, but not because he restrained himself, but because Eren’s voice boomed throughout the house the next second.
“Hey, Armin! Who was that at the door?!” Eren shouts, Armin and Jean both snap out of the trance they were under and Armin quickly lets go of the present. He coughs awkwardly and scratches his neck.
Just as Armin was about to answer Eren, Jean shouts, “It’s me, douchebag!” Armin’s face turns into one in half disappointment, half amusement.
“You know I only invited you ‘cause of Armin, right?” Comes Eren’s shout from the kitchen. Jean needs a few seconds to process the words, while Armin just looks offended at what Eren has said and quickly turns back, stomping his feet to the kitchen cutely.
Oh, maybe Eren mentioned Armin because he’s the one he’ll be giving his present to. Makes sense.
Jean quickly follows Armin to the kitchen and is greeted by the side of Eren with an apron. He makes a note to himself to make fun of him about it later. The kitchen is nice, big, and is connected to the dining and living room with a big archway. Mikasa is sitting on a counter, her outfit matching her usual style while also looking a bit more Christmas-y. Eren is watching the oven expectedly, waiting for what Jean can presume are cookies. Armin is sitting on the kitchen island twirling his hair and paying even more attention to the cookies. Jean greets Mikasa and sits next to Armin, of course.
An hour goes by, the group chat about the time spent apart and meanwhile the others arrive as well. It’s not much of a party the more it is a hang out, but Jean is perfectly content with everything.
It’s about time for dinner, so Armin and Mikasa shoo everyone to the dining table and then continue to serve them fancy looking spaghetti bolognese and pour them some glasses of champagne, or some other fancy alcohol Eren had laying around.
Jean is silently grateful Armin chose to sit next to him again.
They decide to open the presents after dinner, so everyone eats extraordinarily fast, well, except for Sasha – it’s really ordinary for her to eat so fast, actually.
All six of them put their empty plates in the sink, grab their unfinished glasses and head to the living room. They sit in a circle, and like clockwork, Armin sits next to Jean again. What a great start to the New Year, even if there’s still some hours to go.
They decide to start with Eren and go clockwise, so Jean decides to lean back on his hands and relax, being second to last. Eren brings out his wrapped present behind him, which he hands to Sasha. It was a cookbook and a coupon for a new restaurant that had opened near campus. Sasha’s eyes lit up at the idea of free food.
“You can share the coupon with some of us, or with that new chef friend of yours,” Eren says the last part devilishly and winks. Everyone laughs and Jean decides to whistle suggestively, which gets a laugh out of Armin, and makes Sasha blush even more, so he counts it as a win.
Everyone else has their turn, with Mikasa giving Connie two tickets to an upcoming basketball game, Connie giving Eren a shirt of his favourite band and a new controller for his console, the old one left broken in his college dorm after a really bad play from Eren himself. Jean chuckles at the memory of Eren’s face after the accident.
Sasha gives Jean a new pair of headphones, which he knows may have gone a little over the price tag, so instead of pointing it out, he decides to pay her back by cooking for her sometime.
It’s finally Jean’s turn, he turns to Armin right beside him and takes a deep breath, trying not to pay attention to Connie’s suggestive wink in his peripheral vision. He’s sure he’s red all over, but still manages to give his gift to Armin. The other man opens it with excitement behind his eyes, when he sees the book, his face morphs into something Jean can’t exactly read. Jean’s smile falters a little. He was sure Armin hadn’t bought this book yet, so why-
“How’d you- how’d you get this?” Armin breathes. He looks up at Jean, his face still a little unreadable, but maybe there is some form of excitement behind it, so Jean still has his hopes up a little bit.
“Well, I just- stayed up until four in the morning to order it before it sold out, I know you wanted to wait until the author meet and greet but maybe you could go there to get it signed-” Jean is interrupted by Armin lunging towards him and putting his arms around him. Jean sits there and blinks a few times, trying to calm his heart and also realise what’s going on in the first place. After a few moments of just sitting there, Jean wraps his arms around Armin and looks down when Armin pulls away a bit to look him in the face.
“Jean, you don’t know how much I wanted this, thank you,” Armin flashes him a radiant smile, which Jean mimics – how could he not? Whenever Armin’s happy, he’s like a ball of sunshine, lighting up your day and engulfing you with warmth.
Jean’s eyes soften, “There’s more, you know?”
Armin’s eyes widen and he quickly pulls away, his ears a bit red as he fishes out the next item from the box. His eyes light up again and he smiles at Jean, the same smile that makes his heart either stop altogether or make it race like he’s flying through the air without a parachute, “This is amazing, Jean, we’ll be playing together, right?”
Jean exhales a breath he didn’t realise he had held for so long, “Of course.”
Thankfully, the others didn’t really make fun of Jean and his stupidly obvious feelings this time, so he thanks them for that.
Armin gives Mikasa a gold vinyl record of her favourite album, and a little keychain of her favourite anime character and the gifting is officially declared over. Everyone stands up from where they had been sitting on the floor and found their spots on the couch, Connie and Sasha sitting on the floor due to the lack of room. They decide to boot up Eren’s console and play some games of Just Dance, which they don’t really have the opportunity to do in the little dorms in college.
Armin isn’t a great dancer per se, but Jean finds his trying to dance amusing. So much so, he can’t stop awkwardly staring at Armin the whole time. It’s like it hurts him to look away, Armin turns to meet his eyes and shoots a brilliant smile towards him, and Jean realises that he is a weak, weak man when it comes to Armin Arlert, so he has no choice but to shoot one back as well.
The gang quiets down and everyone starts silently chatting between each other. Jean is having a deep discussion with Connie about penguins, when Eren’s booming voice, a bit sluggish, says, “Hey, guys! It’s 11:55, let’s go outside on the porch to see if there’ll be any fireworks around here!” Jean instinctively looks at Armin, who smiles a bit warily at Eren. With the way he’s talking, almost everyone can tell he’s a bit drunk.
Everyone agrees, and they welcome the New Year on the Jagers’ porch with Sasha’s phone serving as a countdown. The fireworks start and everyone watches with their eyes glued to them, except for Jean, who seems to have his eyes glued to Armin again, but he manages to sneak a few glances at the fireworks. He can tell when he’s starting to act creepy, alright?
After the fireworks are over, everyone goes inside except for Armin, and by extension of course, Jean. They stay out a bit, leaning against the fence of the porch, just quietly chatting. The whole time Jean can feel the heavy weight of the box with the bracelet in his back pocket. He knows right now is a good time to give it to him, to finally say it. Still, he finds himself thinking that quietly chatting with Armin like this is something that he would be happy doing forever. He doesn’t think it’s worth it.
Connie’s words start playing in his head. Armin’s not the type of guy to stop talking to me if he rejects me. He’s too nice, too forgiving.
“What’s up with you?”
Jean’s thoughts get cut off by Armin’s voice, he sounds worried. Armin’s looking at him expectantly after a moment of silence from the taller man. Jean opens his mouth, and after a few seconds of trying, trying to say something to the guy he’s in love with, he closes his mouth and settles for reaching into his back pocket.
He gives the box determinedly to Armin. He wants this to be over with, to finally say what he has to say. To grow a pair, like Connie asked him to.
“This is for you, it’s not for the Secret Santa thing, just- something I wanted to give you.”
Jean turns completely to take in Armin fully. His hair is being illuminated by the moonlight, making it look all the more beautiful, his bright blue eyes widening after opening the box, and his mouth opening and morphing into an “o” shape. Jean’s heart is pounding like he’s facing some sort of divine punishment, his palms starting to sweat like they’re clinging onto the edge of a cliff. He’s sure of it now, more sure than he’s ever been.
“Jean, this is-”
“I love you.”
Armin’s smile that was starting to form on his face completely disappeared. His eyes widening impossibly more, his eyebrows shoot up, his mouth opens and his cheeks turn into a beautiful shade of red. Jean is looking at him with the most serious expression on his face, his eyebrows are pinched together and his eyes show exactly what he’s feeling. Love and fear. Incredible fear.
After a few moments of silence, Jean settles on just looking down at their feet and accepting his fate. He begins to try and save himself, save his relationship with Armin before he tells him to get lost, “I’m sorry for messing everything up, I hope that- maybe we can still hang out and not let it turn weird-”
“Jean, I-” Armin sounds like-, Jean’s head shoots up and sure enough, Armin’s crying. Nononono, this is the worst possible outcome, how did he mess up to this extent? After a few seconds of thinking he notices Armin fully. He’s smiling, smiling!
“Armin, what-” Jean doesn’t get to finish his sentence, Armin lunges towards him and gives him a bone crushing hug. Jean still doesn’t get what the fuck is happening, so he just wraps his hand around Armin’s back awkwardly with the most shocked expression on his face.
“I- this is amazing. I never thought you’d feel the same, Jean” Armin nuzzles his face in his chest and hugs even tighter.
“What-”, Jean’s brain is running a hundred miles per hour, his thoughts are all morphing together like a pile of mishmash.
“Gosh, you’re really stupid,” Armin laughs, and reaches up to grab the back of the taller man’s neck to pull him down into a kiss. Okay, okay. This is really happening , Jean thinks.
Jean puts his arms on Armin’s waist and starts to kiss back, and one thing he didn’t expect is for Armin to be so- forward. They pull away after a bit and Armin smiles brilliantly again.
“I love you too, idiot,” Armin says, fondness in his tone. Jean lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.
“Fucking finally! God, we’ve been waiting for this to happen for so long!” Jean can sort of make out some of Connie’s shouting from inside, and he’s sure Armin can too, but they both decide to ignore their friends.
Right now, it’s just him and Armin, in the dead of night on New Year’s eve, holding each other, laughing and giggling like little kids. Jean is silently hoping this moment to never end. Though, he’s sure there will be many just like this one in the future.