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"Oh gods, oh dear gods, I've killed him, I've killed him - "
"Arya, it's all right, he's going to be all right - "
"I've killed him, I've killed him, it's all my fault - "
* * *
"Are you busy today?"
Gendry put down his hammer and wiped the sweat from his brow. "I'm always busy. Why?"
"I thought we might go hunting."
Gendry raised his eyebrows. "Seems a bit extravagant for something so last minute, don't you think?"
Arya rolled her eyes. "Nothing like that. Just you and me and our horses and our weapons." She paused, considering. "And the trees, of course."
"Ah yes, of course. The trees." He tilted his head side to side and cracked his neck. "You like hunting, do you?"
"I like the chase. And it doesn't hurt that a rabbit or two can fill your belly up right proper."
"Right." Gendry flexed his fingers and stretched his arms above his head. "Give me an hour."
* * *
"Just - tell me what happened."
"A boar, there was a boar - I didn't see, I wasn't looking - Gendry, he - I didn't know until he screamed - gods, he screamed so loud, I - "
"It's alright, he's alright, he's going to be fine - "
"I don't know - I should have seen, I should have known - worthless, stupid, six years wasted - oh gods, I've killed him, I've killed him."
* * *
The forest was quiet. Arya was quieter.
Gendry? Well, Gendry was another matter entirely. Gendry was loud.
"Could you be any more annoying?" she hissed, watching another doe spring gracefully out of sight.
"I'm sorry!" he snapped, sounding not very sorry at all. "I'm a smith. The profession doesn't call for much stealth, you know."
Arya clicked her tongue at him. "Just - stay close behind me, and for the love of the gods, stay quiet."
"I'll do my best, Your Royal Highness," he grumbled. "Royal Pain in My Arse, more like."
Arya ignored him.
* * *
"Arya, you need to get some rest."
"I'm not leaving him."
"He'll be fine without you."
"Shut up. It's my fault he's like this. I can't leave him."
"You've gone mad."
"Yes, I have. Now, are you just going to sit there and lecture me all day or did you come here for a purpose?"
"I don't know how many times I have to tell you, it's not your fault."
"I got distracted. I should have heard."
"It could have happened to anyone."
"Well, it shouldn't have happened to me!"
* * *
She didn't fully process what had happened until later, when she had tied him to her horse and rode home to Winterfell, holding tightly to the cloth of his shirt and pressing down hard on his stomach all the while. Gendry's blood was streaked across her face and staining her shirt, but Arya didn't care. Sansa screamed when she saw the blacksmith being dragged past her in the yard to the Maester's Turret. Jojen rushed out to meet them.
"What happened?"
"Arya!" Sansa rushed forth to take her arm. "Arya, are you bleeding? Are you hurt? Are you alright?"
Her breath came in ragged and shallow. "Oh gods, oh dear gods, I've killed him, I've killed him - "
Jojen helped Maester Godric carry Gendry into the tower. "Arya, it's alright, he's going to be alright."
She couldn't breathe. Why couldn't she breathe? Arya clutched at her throat, her fingers curling into claws instinctively. "I've killed him," she gasped, "I've killed him, it's all my fault - " Sansa pulled her hands away from her throat immediately.
"It's alright," Jojen told her, bending over Gendry's body on the cot. She couldn't see him, couldn't see the blood on his stomach, only a tuft of black hair and his dirty trousers and boots. "Just - tell me what happened."
"A boar, there was a boar - I didn't see, I wasn't looking - Gendry, he - I didn't know until he screamed - gods, he screamed so loud, I - " There was a pain at her scalp. Belatedly Arya realized she was pulling at her own hair.
"It's alright, he's alright," Sansa murmured, rubbing soothing circles into Arya's back. "He's going to be fine."
"I don't know - I should have seen, I should have known - worthless, stupid, six years wasted - oh gods, I've killed him, I've killed him."