Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It’s one of those days when Akisame Tamao lives true to his youkai nature, which is transforming into a cat and dawdling around the neighbourhood to entertain himself with trivial everyday stories of others.

As he retreats from the rooftop after a paradisiacal session of sunbathing with a weasel youkai and a tanuki youkai, passes through the hushed hallway of late noon to the Biology club’s garden, it seems that he will have a peek inside the life of the school interim nurse, Takahashi Akira.

The Dodomeki is an oddball, to say the least. He’s one to talk but compared to others, namely his batchmates, class 2-3 and their homeroom teacher, Abe Haruaki, all of which raise the bar of being bizarre to whole new level, this guy goes beyond the limit of listed weirdos. Him wearing his perpetual maniacal look while holding syringes filled with dangerously lurid colors to corner any lab rat who is just an unfortunate passerby is one thing, but recently, Tamao also notices another peculiarity about him.

Perhaps it’s him being a cat that his perspective is susceptible to his identity but inexplicably, Takahashi Akira is becoming more familiar to him, the way that youkai kins are to each other. No, the Dodomeki doesn’t lick his fur in his animal form, or scratch or lay on top of nearby furniture, but there are certain similarities.

Take hunting, for example. Even if many are domesticated nowadays, cats retain their generational habits of preying random mites they come across, both out of pure pleasure and survivor instinct. He remembers always getting scolded by his best pal Rensuke and the rest of his class whenever he proudly shows off his newly-caught prey, but most of the time it’s roaches so maybe he deserves that earful.

Unlike Tamao, Takahashi Akira has no one superior to him enough to chide him.

“Abe-sensei, there you are!”

On the very second his eyes find the human teacher watering his beloved Mandragoras, the youkai doctor prances happily to his side with uncontained elation written all over his visage. 

“Takahashi-sensei. It’s rare seeing you here.”

The addressee stands up from his crouch to properly greet back, wiping away accumulated moisture on his forehead after working under the beating sun for the last half an hour. There are faint red on both of their cheeks, but the Nekomata knows the doctor’s aren’t rosy for any reason other than illicit ones. 

“Abe-sensei!”

The human teacher’s scarce attentiveness doesn’t miss the way the other party calls his name with an unusual chirpy voice while he fidgets with his hands hiding behind his back, he quirks a brow in mild curiosity.

“Oh, you have something there, Takahashi-sensei?”

“Uh huh! Don’t you wanna see it?”

Abe Haruaki falters a moment to weigh his next word carefully because he too, detects something is fishy.

“...Sure. If you allow me.”

“Of course, Abe-sensei! You know I can’t deny you anything.”

Takahashi finally divulges the secret in his hands, arms extending towards the human teacher with excessive enthusiasm that he can only gawk in surprise. That shape of a snowman but much smaller in size and much warmer in temperature, oh, it is—

“It’s a Makuragaeshi! You know, the youkai that made you sleep for three days in a row.”

Huh, he thought Hatanaka-sensei had sent that fella to prison. As if reading Tamao’s mind, Takahashi adds.

“I was at Makoto’s workplace, this little imp tried to sneak out when he’s looking away, so I caught him. Abe-sensei, what do you think?”

The addressee doesn’t seem to anticipate whatever scheme the doctor has for him, because he backs away, which only incites the Dodomeki to invade his already scant personal space more.

“Uh, I think you should put him back in the cells, Takahashi-sensei. He is unwell.”

It’s true, Tamao can espy the way the youkai shrivels and shivers for fear of his possibly imminent demise. 

“Aw, but isn’t this a good chance to take a better look at him?”

Two pairs of red eyes direct at one another; one is filled with doubts and fright, the other is filled with vengeance and sadism. 

“That’s why Abe-sensei, you should exorcise him!”

The human teacher looks at the poor thing being squished in the doctor’s palm who is not bothered in the slightest to flail in protest, lest the Dodomeki tighten his grasp and wring the life out of him.

“W-why?”

“This fella right here put you to sleep for three days. I was worried sick when I heard something happened to you, you know.”

The Dodomeki’s pupils contract as his breathing quickens, hot and heavy over the other’s terrified mien.

Even from this distance, Tamao can feel his fur standing up in caution.

“Do I really need to do this? He’s cute and harmless now…” The human teacher negotiates, wish not to do harm.

“Nuh-uh. I caught this thing for you, Abe-sensei! Would you break my heart over this mite?” The doctor insists, drawling out the vowels.

“B-But—”

“It will end in a flash. Kill it!”

“I don’t want to!”

“Come on, Abe-sensei!”

“No!”

And so, the youkai chases the crying human teacher around the school for the umpteenth time. It's commonplace for Abe Haruaki to run away from some disastrous, nightmarish menace, and it’s also commonplace for anyone to run away from the disastrous, nightmarish menace that is Takahashi Akira.

Not convincing it might be to normies, Akisame Tamao knows it’s love, despite being in cat-language. 

Cats show their success from their latest hunts to those who they hold dear, and that’s what Takahashi Akira has been doing just now and over the past few weeks, a bit extreme in his doting practice but doting just the same. This is just one amongst many various instances where the interim doctor expresses his affection in his outlandish fashion, because he also nuzzles against the human teacher at any given chance, like cats do.

There are countless occasions where Tamao sees the Dodomeki wander to and fro the precinct’s six floors in hope of encountering a certain human teacher, and if he doesn’t act on his psychotic impulses like today, he would simply stay close to the teacher. And by close he means very, very close. No space in between, only a layer of clothes away to be full-on skin-to-skin contact.

Most of the time, it’s an embrace where Takahashi-sensei would prowl then ambush the oblivious human teacher, making him screech in petrification but soon calming him by wrapping his arms around the lithesome frame and leaning over him. Sometimes, it’s fleeting touches where Takahashi-sensei would still ambush the human teacher, but after gently bumping their heads to squeeze their cheeks together, or rubbing the smooth plane of the back of his hand, or tucking strayed strands behind his ear after playing with them with his fingers, the doctor would return to his station. Even when he chooses rather not recommended methods like scaring Abe-sensei until he faints, pursuing Abe-sensei in immensely high speed like he just did with unhinged interest, or plunging sharp objects into him as seen when they accidentally went back to the Meiji period, Tamao knows it’s just cat love-biting.

Tamao doesn’t mean to pry but the way the Dodomeki displays his intimacy is just painfully blatant regarding how its frequency is increasing rapidly, at least to a Nekomata like himself. To humans, especially a teacher who teaches at a school for youkai, well, Takahashi-sensei might have to try a little harder.

Chapter Text

Izuna gazes at the heaps of tests that require him to grade as he sips on his lukewarm drink, reckoning if he keeps procrastinating his duty by staring blankly, no amount of caffeine will be adequate to keep him awake from late-night shifts. Without other students and colleagues around, he can’t help but slack off because he fundamentally has no motivation to uphold the image of being an upright teacher. Plus, Hyakki Academy is short of faculty members, the taxing work always falls on fools and constant wreckers like himself, and there’s only approximately 15 minutes left before lunch break. Sprawling uselessly on his desk would not hurt.

“Hatanaka, paperworks aren’t going to evaporate regardless of how hard you stare at them.”

Why, isn’t it his best friend as well as one of the in-laws? He directs his eyes at the speaker, begrudging at the fact that the Oni is as efficient as ever in satisfying mundane chores.

“Rintarou, humour me. I’m dying because of boredom.”

“Isn’t it better for you to just focus on doing your work?”

“I can multitask just fine,” claims him, the one who is doing no task at all. His conscience is clear so it’s alright.

Rintarou doesn’t react after that. Just when Izuna assumes the Oni disregards him to mind his business, Rintarou proves him wrong.

“Hey Hatanaka, don’t you think Haruaki-kun and Takahashi-sensei have been acting weird lately?”

The Kamaitachi looks askance deadpan. His friend seems to understand the questioning gaze he throws at him, speaking aloud his private contemplation.

“You are probably thinking ‘Are you seriously asking if I think that sailor uniform fanatic and that psychopath of a doctor are weird?’ aren’t ya? Sure, I would even argue ‘weird’ is a polite term to label them.”

“Duh,” he rolls his eyes. They have been best buds since highschool, he is aware that Miki Rintarou can be extremely keen and incisive when he wishes to be.

“Surprise, they can even get weirder. Just now I happened to come across Haruaki-kun dragging his Mamedanuki and Nekomata for vaccination to the infirmary, you can imagine how vehemently those poor younglings have fought before needles and Takahashi-sensei. When all was left were bandages and shushed wailing, Haruaki-kun soothed his students by his iconic ‘You have done well’ or something similar.”

“And how’s that out of the ordinary?” He mocks, unamused.

“I’m about to get there!” The oni complains and picks up where he left, “I thought it wasn’t something special until Takahashi-sensei demanded Haruaki-kun to do the same.”

“Do what?”

“Praise him.”

What. The. Hell?

Whatever emotion there is on his physiognomy is probably uncanny considering how taut his facial muscles are. He opens his mouth to speak, closes it, repeats those specific two actions a couple of times, then finally utters as if it’s the most outrageous thing he has ever articulated.

“…Praise him?”

“Yeah. Akisame-kun and Maizuka-kun were alerted too, because they excused themselves swiftly after that.”

Izuna wipes his palm over his face, sighing. He can guess where this is coming from. Ever since that Meiji incident, he would have been blind or stupid or both to not see the signals that crazy ass doctor has been rigorously sending Haruaki-kun’s way, but knowing an idiot the human is, said signals fly right over his head to land on someone else’s face like Izuna’s, because he has to go through five stages of grief all the while witnessing those cheesy doting on attempts. The Dodomeki has a soft spot for the human teacher, but it’s not like everyone time-travels 150 years back to experience a near-death romance like he does to see this fact clearly.

“Please tell me you leave after that.”

“If I were to, we wouldn’t have this conversation.” The Oni deftly ignores the wordless judgement plastering on his face, “Though, I did leave when things were too much for me to comprehend. I thought Takahashi-sensei would back Haruaki-kun to the nearest wall while hovering syringes over his face but no, he was uncharacteristically quiet. Say, did something happen when you guys went to the Meiji period?”

Gods forsake him.

“Why do you ask?” His tone is yet to betray, only subtly wavering.

“I couldn’t read his mien well but I heard Takahashi-sensei say something like ‘Aren’t you proud of me? I’ve become an excellent doctor’ or ‘I want to be praised too, onii-san’ which is weird, he's undeniably the older one. Haruaki-kun was no better, I deemed he could combust any second given how red he was. The atmosphere between them is weird too, and—”

“Okay, okay. Enough oddity for today,” Izuna stops his friend in his tracks. Whatever is going on between these two is one thing, but they – Abe Haruaki, Akisame Tamao, Nyuudou Rensuke and himself have sworn that they wouldn’t spill anything about this event.

“That reminds me, not just today, it has been sometime too when these two act differently around each other. Not only does Takahashi-sensei call Haruaki-kun ‘onii-san’ more frequently, but his gestures and gaze towards Haruaki-kun are also suspicious. About a week ago, when Haruaki-kun was sick, Takahashi-sensei measured his temperature by pressing his lips to Haruaki-kun’s hand and forehead, ya know.”

Whatever deity there is, please save Izuna from this second-hand embarrassment. It’s like being young again and rooting for dense leads in a romance TV show; they are as cute as they are infuriating.

“I totally get it man.”

Mouse-sensei appears unannounced, nodding in agreement with the Oni.

“Why the hell are you here?” Izuna demands.

It appears that their little colleague has abandoned his station to make himself comfortable on the stack of documents on Izuna's desk, sitting far from the Kamaitachi’s maw but close enough to not divulge more information to the entire faculty room, “I don’t have any class now, and with how loud you guys are whispering, I can’t help but eavesdrop.”

“Thank you for your honesty,” he breathes out sardonically.

“You are welcome,” Mouse-sensei easily parries the attack.

“Back to the subject,” Rintarou harrumphs, “Mouse-sensei, you were saying?”

“Oh yes, I recall when they retire from their usual personae too, though it’s mostly the doctor’s part. Takahashi-sensei likes to chase Abe-sensei around the school, sure, but I know he does it purely for the thrill of the hunt,” concludes the mouse youkai who is a homeroom teacher of a class with Bakenekos and youkais of the feline linages. “Even if he does manage to catch Abe-sensei, which he always does, Takahashi-sensei won’t do any physical harm.”

Izuna silently infers that the Dodomeki still inflicts traumas on the pitiful human teacher.

“As Miki-sensei has pointed out, Takahashi-sensei is tenderer. Takahashi-sensei is already a tactile individual as he is, but when he’s with Abe-sensei, the Dodomeki will wrap him in his arms, hide his face in the crook between his neck and shoulder, or simply caress the teacher’s cheeks. Even when indeliberately spying, I can tell that the way he touches Abe-sensei isn’t like a maniac who desperately wants to inspect his insides.”

“Please don’t phrase it like that, it’s misleading,” Izuna sighs again, feeling a migraine forming.

“Hatanaka, you’ve been negating since the beginning. Don’t you think there’s going on between those two? What about your animal instinct?” Rintarou interrogates, folding his arms before his chest.

“Whatever acumen of anyone is not meant for gossipping,” he retorts flatly, exasperation is yet to laced with his voice.

“Then put your brain to good use once in a while.”

“Gotta cut him some slack, his brain is busy learning the multiplication table,” Mouse-sensei unhelpfully assuages.

“How come both you and your intelligence are not doing a decent job at teaching?”

“Asks the one who got drunk on the clock and destroys the school on multiple occasions that he has to borrow others' money due to his measly salary.”

“I may have caused a ruckus but I still excel at educating, thanks.”

“Certainly exemplifying anything but an irresponsible drunkard.”

Somehow, it inevitably ends up with him and Miki Rintarou at each other’s throat no matter the situation they are in. In his defense, he has endeavoured to be a model denizen but it’s on now, you Oni asshole.

“Guys! Stop fighting!”

The moment they are centimeters away from receiving each other’s punch to the gut, the main character who they have been discussing shows up, making haste to stand between the trouble-maker duo and pushing his palms on their chest to split them up like the all-time middleman he is.

“Haruaki-kun,” Izuna acknowledges, wrenching his hand away from his friend’s collar. The other party glares but copies his movements.

“Geez, can’t we have a peaceful day for once? What is it that you guys are about to beat each other black and blue again?” Haruaki-kun is pouting, chiding like a mother-hen when he’s not part of the mess they are prone to cause.

With better awareness, he registers that there aren't any occupants except the four of them. Izuna wouldn’t be surprised to be informed that other teachers run for their lives the moment he and Rintarou raise their fists at one another.

“Right, Haruaki-kun, I’m glad that you are here.” Rintarou grins and Izuna knows it’s the card the Oni folds when he has ulterior motives, “I’ll get straight to the point: Have you and Takahashi-sensei been—”

“—been playing a game of tag! Haha, you know, because you two have been running up and down recently.” In the nick of time, he slaps his hand over his friend's mouth and urgently alters the unfinished line with a subterfuge. He prays that he didn't apply too much force or the consequences will be bone-shattering after.

Lucky for him, Abe Haruaki is unfailingly an idiot.

“Ah, that,” Haruaki-kun shyly ruffles his hair, “I don’t know what has gotten into Takahashi-sensei lately, he follows me whenever I set my foot on the campus, and he tries to ensnare me with his embrace. Maybe he finds me as a suitable playmate.”

You oblivious-borderlining-moronic man, if only that psychopath sees you no further than a playmate.

“By the way, Haruaki-kun, can you please go to the cafeteria without us first and save us a seat? Me and Rintarou have this teensy tiny task left to be off the hook,” Izuna distracts despite himself.

Being the loyal friend he is, the human teacher beams.

“Of course, Izuna-kun. You might want to hurry up though, you know how rabid hungry youkais can get.”

“Indeed we do.”

“Okay, later.”

The man waves at them and docilely completing his assignment, vanishes from the entrance as quickly as he ran in to prevent violence. Izuna exhales in relief, removing his hand for Rintarou to finally verbalize his discreetly fuming ire.

“Why the hell did you do that? Don’t lie to me, you know there’s something unusual about those two.”

“Yeah, I do,” he confesses tiredly, surrendering.

“So, what gives?”

“I recognized Takahashi-sensei’s feelings for Haruaki-kun the moment his crush was just a negligible sprout, but it’s Haruaki-kun who should be cognizant of it, not any of us. I suspect that lunatic intends to tell Haruaki-kun in person, because if I were him, I would do the same.”

Rintarou seems to be persuaded with his reasoning because he’s tight-lipped and listening to him with sheepish calmness. 

“It’s okay, Miki-sensei, we empathize with your concerns. Just that, this delicate matter is not something for anyone but them to get involved in,” Mouse-sensei supplies.

Rintarou stares at them from his fallen bangs, untypically demure, “Ugh fine, I’ll be expecting news from those two.” The Oni detaches himself from his chair abruptly and stomps to the exit, grunting without actual bites, “Come on losers, we can’t let Haruaki-kun wait for us too.”

Just this once will Izuna let his friend's snarky remark slide and complies. Rintarou means well, after all.

Chapter Text

Figuring that his visits have increasingly lessened in their regularity, Rasetsu Kai decides to clear his schedule for a week solely for social, familial and personal businesses in his hometown. It’s not easy being an influential figure on a global scale in medication – the public and workload’s demand of him are incessant that before he knows it, stimulants like coffees, Dr. Pepper and Red Bulls during all-nighters are more intimate to him than anyone in his circle, even his partner. But, because Kai loves his partner while also regaining awareness about his long absence from home, he listens to the other party’s advice to stop making people he holds dear worry and take a break. 

Additionally, there’s a favour from a friend of his that Kai is more than ready to fulfill.

Takahashi Akira is a Dodomeki youkai who shares a quite similar background to Kai himself – born with a silver spoon, aspired to become a doctor and successfully made their own names in multifarious medical fields, it goes without saying that they are more than acquainted with each other. Thanks to a fateful incident, they have become friends since, but if Kai has to knock on Akira’s door himself, he would say he is both a mother hen and boss to Akira on days like this.

Which is why Kai forgoes all courtesy by waltzing into the Takahashis’ mansion like he owns the place.

“Is that you, Rasetsu-sensei?”

Recognizing a familiar voice before he can descry its owner, Kai greets.

“Hello Kuniko-chan. I brought you souvenirs.”

The teenage girl dresses in a printed tee and ankle-length dress rushes toward him and bows deeply, her ponytail sways in tandem with her movements. It’s still a mystery to him that she can grow up to be such a charming young lady under the infamous Dodomeki’s guardianship, or perhaps it’s Yamazaki Makoto who does all the raising part, and the world is grateful for that.

“Thank you so much Rasetsu-sensei! Please come in. Akira-san is in his office, if you are here to find him.”

“That I am,” he chuckles.

Handing the Gashadokuro one of the paper bag packagings slinging over his shoulder, Kai wastes no time to march across the mansion that is gradually becoming a museum with how many artifacts the Dodomeki installed overseas and reach the room where he knows exactly the doctor would be. 

“Rise and shine, Akira-sensei.”

The space he is welcomed to has no indication of being ready to rise and shine. Light is blocked out by closed curtains whereas seemingly endless stacks of documents and of all sorts dominate the room with how haphazardly they lay on the floor, shelves and any furniture that has a flat surface. Amidst the mess, the person in question, to no surprise, is having his head pillowed on his arms while he rests without a care to the uncomfortable posture he’s in as well as the newcomer who plainly tresspasses his property, barges into his room and urges him to photosynthesize. Being too familiar with Takahashi Akira and his idiosyncrasies is one thing, it’s not rare for anyone in this occupation to be immersed in work until consciousness gives out, and Kai is not really the picture of health to have a say in this either.

“Ah, Kai-kun, did you bring it?”

The Dodomeki lazily rises from his seat and acknowledges, his tone cheery but slightly hoarse, not yet to fully shrug off the drowsiness.

Having a clearer sight of his colleague, who hasn’t retired from his usual lab coat for more casual clothing choices like Kai and Kuniko, he envisages the single-minded Takahashi Akira who immediately holes up in his office despite just being off the clock and sabotages his health with sleepless nights. 

“I did. Though, I think it can wait until you have a good rest.”

“Aw, but I wanna see it now! I’m way too excited to do anything else.”

The Dodomeki tackles him, but Kai easily pushes his face away with one hand while his other hand holds the package up high in the other direction. It’s not a fight per se, more like how an adult would handle an annoying kid who whines for toys or sweets.

Akira must have transformed into his youkai form the previous days, his coat is a bit voluminous that it slips off his shoulders during their chummy limbs-flailing session, spilling out the content of its pockets.

“Akira-sensei, you dropped something.”

He playfully pushes his colleague away, not enough to hurt but effectively dismiss grabby hands to kneel down. When he sees them, Kai is suddenly in a standstill.

Candies, of various flavours and colorful wrappers, on the floor, slipped out from the Dodomeki’s pockets.

Kai finds himself picking them up as if they are the most expensive gems, not ordinary confectionery.

That’s strange… Knowing this profession, it’s normal for a doctor to prepare little treats for small children but knowing Takahashi Akira, it’s not normal for him to be bothered by others’ feelings instead of resorting to anesthesia during his manic fits. Even if he were to care, he would allot whatever sweet-talking task to his nurses.

Maybe he has a change of heart? Like, he actually fixed those few screws loose?

“Since when do you stash candies in your pocket?”

Deducing what his colleague is implying, the Dodomeki rubs his face where Kai has shoved him, expounding nonchalantly.

“Oh, this is not for coaxing kids. It’s for me.”

Kai can’t help but quirk his brow.

“And since when do you eat candies?”

“Since I have, well, certain symptoms. I’m changing my habit, hampering my cigs craving by eating candies.”

For once, Kai can’t wrap his head around a single word the Dodomeki is saying, even though Akira did state much more grandiose and complex medical terms during conferences and in research papers before. Just what on earth did he miss?

“Okay, I have questions and you’ll be answering each one of them.”

It’s a statement, not a request. Kai returns the candies to their original placement while the Dodomeki nods without much thinking, perhaps too sleepy that he’s agreeable.

“You are associating with a human.”

“That’s right.”

“Who is he to you?” That makes you go the length of altering your habit? Kai doesn’t vocalize the last part.

“He is a colleague at Hyakki Academy where I work as the interim nurse. Oh by the way, Kai-kun, do you remember the human mister we met at the port 150 years ago? That’s him!”

“The one who you sneaked in a party exclusive for Oni and failed to kill? Yeah, I do, vaguely.”

The face of that strange man reappears in his head, albeit blurry, Kai would not forget him so easily. He’s one of the major figures who set his family’s business on fire that day, after all.

“Aw man, you make it sound terrible,” Akira exclaims without actually feeling terrible.

“Because it’s. Anyways, you mentioned symptoms earlier. What kind of symptoms are we talking about? An unidentified disease that even the most illustrious doctor of the youkai realm cannot better himself?”

“I’m flattered,” the Dodomeki beams, “But no, the symptoms are quite universal that I don’t think it’s anything fatal. Rising bodily temperature, hyperventilation, high heart rate coupled with mild aches, all that jazz. They come and go.”

Kai eyes him with skepticism, massaging his temples. He has a hunch what conclusion this conversation will reach in the end, but it’s Takahashi Akira, nothing can be absolute when it comes to this nutbar.

“These symptoms… do they emerge when you interact with that human colleague of yours?”

“They arise when I’m curious too, and they are extra clear and severe whenever I see him. But this time, it’s not out of my own curiosity, I want to understand him for his own good. In fact, I want to learn everything about him. That’s why I asked you to bring me as many books about humans from everywhere else in the world as possible, Kai-kun.”

One word. Unbelievable. What Kai just heard is simply unbelievable, and it was impossible just minutes ago, when he is unburdened by this scandalous information.

Rasetsu Kai is not privy of the Dodomeki’s love life, but he more or less knows that Takahashi Akira is undoubtedly obsessed with knowledge, more than any previous partner that he would rather spend time on reading and researching than fawning over anyone else, so his dating experiences might vary but they didn’t last very long. Sure, the human who Kai deems is Akira’s love interest did motivate him since Akira himself also mentions the reasons he chose this career once in a while, but it’s still Takahashi Akira, the workaholic and lunatic that he scared all his past partners away. And because it’s Takahashi Akira, Kai can’t imagine him being in love with anyone without wanting to cut them open.

He can't believe the sun rises on days like this too, when the renowned doctor of the youkai world finally undergos the emotions of love.

Kai needs to sit down, but documents occupy everywhere that he can only steady himself with his arms akimbo. 

Great, where should he even start? ‘Akira-sensei, no offense but I didn’t realize you can fall in love’, ‘Akira-sensei, that’s not an ailment, but you having a crush is so shocking that I believe it actually is’, ‘Please tell me you don’t have any other ulterior motives in the guise of affection, you know I can help you inspect humans legally’. In fact, should he even address this matter? Should he pretend he can’t fathom this exotic disease and convince the Dodomeki this is just a novel phase of curiosity? What the hell should he say?

“You know,” Akira says as he clears the heaps of paper on a nearby chair, snapping Kai out of his inner turmoil, “humans are very fragile beings, they suffer the brunt just from being near other smokers. I didn’t know that such a mindless habit of mine could harm him so profoundly. I want to learn more about him, what is good or bad for him, so I can adjust to him.”

Kai should have known. It doesn’t matter if it’s love or not, whatever Takahashi has for that one individual, it’s selfless, unconditional care, the kind of care when one would wish to treasure someone with only the best.

The kind of care that initially fueled him when he decided to contribute to the youkai society as a doctor.

Thinking back to that certain day, this particular human influenced Akira as much as Izuna did to him, no wonder that Takahashi Akira would love him still across the span of wars and peace.

Kai sighs, giving the package to the Dodomeki before taking his offer to sit down. Really, Takahashi Akira is as admirable as all headlines have been persistently bombarding the media claim him to be.

“Alright, here’s your souvenirs.”

When Akira happily bounces towards him to grab the gift, Kai doesn’t let go of his hold just yet.

“These are only books for the biological understanding of humans. Akira-sensei, you may or may not notice, but in your case, there are other ways to get to know someone, especially when it comes to matters the mind thinks less and the heart feels more.”

From the look of it, the Dodomeki is stunned. His mouth forms a flat line while his eyelids that were heavy from fatigue seconds ago open wide from enlightenment and amazement, as if vitality courses through his entire body once again. There’s faint pink on his cheeks, but unlike other times when he’s exhilarated to learn something new, this is the shade of bashfulness.

The Akira averts his gaze to anywhere but Kai, is silent for a moment or two, and smiles abashedly.

“Thank you, Kai-kun, for the books and your advice. I think I understand what kind of thing I should learn now.”

Kai mentally wipes the imaginary tears, feeling like an agony aunt who is finally proud of his late-blooming little duckling. It’s a relief that Takahashi Akira still possesses common sense and social norms to some extent. 

“Like I’ve said, you should get a nice rest before occupying your genius brain with anything. Take care of him by taking care of yourself first.”

“But I’m hungry.”

Conveniently, his stomach grumbles in agreement. Kai glares.

“You haven’t had breakfast.”

“Guilty as charged,” the Dodomeki shrugs and simpers.

“Gods…,” Kai exhales, being so done with his colleague’s inconsideration to his health. “It’s time for lunch anyways, we should go downstairs. I’ll treat you guys to sushi.”

“Oh yay! But why?”

It only takes one morning for him to sympathize with Kuniko’s and Yamazaki’s powerlessness in babysitting Akira for most of their lives. Kai says, nonetheless, “I just feel like it.”

The Dodomeki puts on his coat properly and fishes for his keys whereas Kai removes himself from the seat. They navigate through the book maze that is Takahashi Akira’s office and Kai involuntarily watches both of their steps, given that one of them is somnolent and probably would not mind if he happened to knock all those piles over.

“Oh, and Kai-kun?”

“Yeah?”

“Is it alright for me to consult you sometime?”

Takahashi Akira is earnest when he asks. Kai never hates sincerity.

“Of course. If our schedule allows, I’d like to invite him to lunch with us in the near future. I’ll be cheering for you two.”

“Thanks!”

Chapter Text

It’s Wednesday, a perfectly uneventful day of the week, when Utagawa Kuniko would spend time for personal grooming and hobbies after doing house chores and finish her assignments like an honorable class representative as she is. She ought to apply facial masks, her skin is awful recently and she doesn’t want to overuse cosmetics to conceal pimples, and there are so many things to catch up on, like news, her favourite TV show and her classmate Ogoso’s latest album. He even releases a deluxe version for 4 out of 12 tracks, she gotta prepare for the pre-order contest tonight, there are wild fans out there.

Though, the call of her name affirms that she will be doing none of that.

“Kuniko!”

Why yes, it’s Takahashi Akira who invites himself into her room. Kuniko was about to complain when she espies a nylon bag filled with potatoes, onion, carrots, and some other ingredients hidden at the bottom dangling in the hand extending towards her.

“Kuniko, let’s make dinner together.”

She replies to him with a mixture of uncontained disbelief and bewilderment.

“Us, me and you, making dinner?”

“Yup!”

She has to rub her eyes twice, just to be sure this is the infamous psychotic hundred-eyed doctor of the youkai world.

This is new. Notwithstanding not being a big cook himself, it’s Yamazaki Makoto who prepares meals for them. When the dutiful policeman can’t cook for them because of his late night shifts or uncalculated urgency, delivery and dining out are the usuals since both of them are not decent cooks, if not to say horrible and should be banned from the kitchen. Kuniko can’t keep count of the time when either she or the Dodomeki was this close to burn down the house with their diabolically charred viands, and the intrusive memory of her last attempt during a home economics period that made her throw up on her crush’s face is projected in her mind. Kuniko can’t help but cringe.

Very adventurous of Akira to even consider the idea that they should cook anything.

Regardless of her confusion, Kuniko tags along when he beckons her to accompany him downstairs. She doesn’t dislike a change of wind, and perhaps, breaking the steady diet of take-outs might bring certain benefits. She just needs to brace herself for the consequences of her brazen settlement.

It’s only a quarter to 6 in the evening, an early start for someone who makes a habit of skipping dinner. She deems her guardian foresees that cooking and cleaning the mess that they are likely to make will be time-consuming.

They put on an apron, the Dodomeki rummaging for additional ingredients and condiments from the refrigerator while Kuniko googles the most foolproof recipe.

“Are curry, Okonomiyaki and miso soup fine with you, Akira-san?"

“Quite basic, huh.”

Kuniko explains drily.

“Knowing our limited dexterity, we shouldn’t bite more than we can chew.”

“Fair enough.”

After perusing the recipe and briefly discussing the procedures, they settle with preparing for the curry first, starting with washing veggies and peeling potatoes. Funny, only times like this does Kuniko realize she and her guardian hardly interact despite living under the same roof. Takahashi Akira is always busy with his outstanding performance in medical fields and well, it’s best if Kuniko doesn’t impede said excellence.

She ought to take this chance to show the concerns that she didn’t dare to before.

“So, why all of the sudden?”

The Dodomeki perks up.

“Hm?”

“Why did you decide to cook?

“Oh, did I forget to tell you? These are all grown and harvested by Abe-sensei, I think it would be rude not to make a feast out of them. He insisted, not accepting a no and I couldn’t deny him anything.” Akira fiddles with the peeler, trying not to scrape the outside too much while maintaining a firm hold of the potato. “Plus, Kai-kun suggested me.”

“Rasetsu-sensei? He suggested you what?”

“Learning how to cook.”

While inferring that the Rasetsuki Oni must have worried sick about Akira’s hectic lifestyle, Kuniko inexplicably needs the guarantee.

“Why though? Is Rasetsu-sensei finally terror-stricken with how you take your health for granted?”

“Yeah, but partially.”

“And the other part?”

“I said I wanted to marry Haruaki.”

The ponytailed girl is utterly dumbfounded, stopping sharply in her tracks of mincing cabbage and slowly turning her head to reconfirm the person adjacent to her is truly her guardian with a hanging jaw. The other party is unaware of the aftermath from the bomb he has just dropped as if it’s the most ordinary thing one can breathe out, still finding joy in the banality of peeling potatoes.

Isn’t it too soon for April’s Fool jokes?

Even though Kuniko has not been around for long like Yamazaki-san to understand her guardian's revolving door of partners coming and going, it's long enough to be certain that no way can this man be serious about any romantical pursuits with anyone to the point of proposing to them. Besides, most of the time, it’s his partners who develop a gravely misconception of Takahashi Akira, falling heads over heels for his social status and face card, only to be disillusioned later when they found out his peculiarities, and disappointed at the fact that he isn’t the prince charming they have dreamt about that they ended up tiring of him first. So yeah, her ears must have deceived her, they must be.

It takes minutes for Kuniko’s tongue to break free from its frozen state.

“You meant Abe Haruaki, my homeroom teacher?”

“Yup, the one and only human teacher at a youkai academy and the love of my life for over 150 years.”

She can only lament mentally. Oh gods, how can he say something so dire with a manner so jolly? Does Akira himself understand the weight of his own statement? Maybe he mistakes medical fixation for infatuation? Love has plenty of kinds, and any normal individual equipped with normal upbringing and perception of their environment would gather that love does not involve slicing their love interest open solely to examine the internal organs and anatomy.

Kuniko presses further, not convinced.

“You are joking, right?”

“Nuh-uh. I’m serious!”

“Wait… Like, actually having a marriage with him? Like, putting a ring on that finger and declaring your undying love?”

“Yup, that’s what ‘marrying’ means Kuniko, but that’s not all. Although I’ve been sizing his finger every time I kiss his hand, I realized bounding him with a gold band and a vow will lead to nowhere near actually wedding him.” 

The doctor glances at her for a brief second, as if seeing curiosity in her eyes, he redirects his focus on the task, continues, “It’s easier to pay money for lavish eateries and pick-ups, they are more my speed anyway. But, if we can exchange that oath, I want to really tend him with my own hands, starting with learning how to cook for him when he’s hungry, tired or sick.”

Kuniko has heard people laud her guardian effusively on occasions but only till this very moment does she actually see how brilliant he is. Takahashi Akira’s mind is something Kuniko finds even more majestic than his revolutionary medical research and applications. Don’t get her wrong, his work, dedication and contributions are tremendously crucial, but it’s his maturity that Kuniko is impressed with this time.

Looking at Akira somehow reminds her of herself. From the moment she manifested as Gashadokuro, she has done anything to improve and become a better version of herself, be it studying, training, preening, anything to be worthy of her childhood promise’s love. And Takahashi Akira has that kind of determination in his eyes.

Although the result might be morally questionable, if it’s Takahashi Akira, she is positive that he will try his best.

Just when Kuniko thought she ought to ready herself for the future they may have, the gears in her head start to turn.

Is this really okay? She has no opposition with Abe Haruaki per se – the man is unconventional but her guardian and herself have their fair share of being anomalies as well – but isn’t having both her homeroom teacher and the interim nurse at school as her guardian awkward? And if Takahashi Akira were to marry Abe Haruaki, doesn't that make her having three adoptive fathers at the same time? Kind of similar to Zashiki Beniko’s family. What would Yamazaki Makoto say about this? And wait, if the Dodomeki and the human teacher are a thing, then why does she feel something is still missing…? 

“Kuniko, it’s overflowing.”

Kuniko gasps out of her rumination, inwardly reprimanding herself for overlooking the hissing pot, lifting its lid so the scalding water doesn’t flood their whole kitchen counter and turning down the stove.

“Akira-san, you love my homeroom teacher?”

“Precisely!”

“And you want to marry him?”

“Absolutely!”

“Have you guys dated?”

“…”

Her guardian feigns being absorbed in dipping the pork piece into the egg and flour batter but Kuniko can tell only his hands are occupied. So this is the lack she has an inkling of.

“Have you guys kissed?”

“…”

“Is Abe-sensei aware of your feelings for him?”

“…”

“Do you even know what Abe-sensei thinks of you?”

Silence answers her till the end.

Kuniko pulls out a knife from the utensil rack to assist the doctor dicing carrots after washing them. She will take care of the main portion so Akira can fry the pork – an indispensable side-dish for the curry. The ambivalence of being appalled and knowing her adoptive father too well that conveying astonishment at this point is unnecessary consumed her.

“So you love Abe-sensei, but you didn’t confess, or invite him on a date, or know whether he feels the same for you, now you are saying you want to marry him?”

“Well yes.”

Kuniko pities whatever miserable deities above who have to hear her pleas for these klutzy lovebirds, especially the one standing next to her.

“Akira-san, you should at least inform him of your affection and try working things out with him, just to see your compatibility and how far you two could go. This is no longer the era where one engaged to another overnight.”

Kuniko brings the chopping board to the brim and carefully transfers vegetables into the boiling pot without burning herself whereas her guardian cracks eggs into a bowl to prepare for Okonomiyaki. 

Kuniko just can’t help but worry. It’s indisputable that Takahashi Akira is a bright doctor, he’s not the most ideal lover because his IQ is in inverse ratio to his EQ. Akira is a workaholic that his love life probably consists of skeletons from the lab whose name are each letter from the alphabet, he doesn’t understand being lovey dovey is different from chasing after the love of his life with murderous eyes and deadly syringes and scalpels, he can’t cook without feeding his partner suspicious ingredients like some unspecific limbs or innards of some unspecified species, he is oblivious when it comes to detecting others’ mood that he still hasn’t grasped why his past partners dumped him, and he probably isn’t cognizant of the aforementioned reality. 

If she remembers correctly, the last time her guardian secured a date with someone, he suggested they should marvel at his patient’s bloody and bare brain during a surgery. Even when he said half in jest, it’s predictable and excusable that he was dumped right after. After all, Takahashi Akira is a heartthrob if one stands far enough.

“Kuniko, you’re thinking too hard.”

The Dodomeki turns on the other stove and heats up the pan with a spoonful of oil, making the fried dish in her stead. How embarrassing, she’s malfunctioned from something so trivial.

“And you are not thinking thoroughly, Akira-san.” She sighs, tucking a strayed strand behind her ear, “Can I be blamed for having a hard time imagining you and my homeroom teacher as a pair?” Actually, she can more or less envision them being together; they would make a funny picture.

“I guess not. Courting someone isn’t my strength, but no matter what, I know I want to take him home.”

Akira says so, carefreely, straightforwardly.

His unadulterated sincerity almost had her there. As adorably heart-warming as that may sound, anything can be a bit alarming coming out from Takahashi Akira. 

“You mean escorting him with a wedding chariot and not doing anything outlawed?”

The Dodomeki laughs.

“Of course. As tempting as it might be, Haruaki would be devastated if I do something illegal, and Makoto won’t be friends with me anymore.”

Even though Akira’s motives for not committing crimes relies on others’ approval instead of his own conscience, it’s a relief that he is still a model denizen.

Aroma from the curry pot as well as the meat portion Akira is frying slowly pervades the air, Kuniko surmises it’s a signal for her to fetch the tablewares from the cabinet. The smell is nice so she prays the food will be edible this time. 

“Did Rasetsu-sensei suggest anything else?”

The Dodomeki hums for a second, serving the food on their plates.

“Things you have said. I’m still considering how to begin with this conquering campaign.”

There’s a faint grimace between her brows.

“The way you put it as if Abe-sensei is a quest you have to embark on. But from the way you are doing it, Abe-sensei is merely your target of harassment.” 

“Then what should I do to woo him?”

Akira sets aside the pork cutlet for Kuniko to fry the cabbage pancake. She glances at the timer, noting internally to check the curry pot after 5 minutes more.

“Don’t you want to be closer to him? To share the most wonderful to the silliest things with him? Well, you certainly deserve an applause for cooking today, but how about doing with him next time? A good opportunity to get to know each other if you ask me.” She nudges at him lightly, winking, “If you want to take him home so badly, tell me in advance and you guys will have your privacy.”

“Akira-kun will have his privacy with who?”

Kuniko jolts from her stance, wordlessly thanking herself for having put all the fragile tablewares down whereas the Dodomeki waves enthusiastically, perhaps having already noticed the newcomer as soon as he came within 500 meters radius. It’s just the strait-laced policeman Yamazaki Makoto, and it appears that he has seamlessly made a beeline to the kitchen right after being off from work, judging from his unchanged uniform and the convenient store bags in his grasp.

“Makoto-san.”

“What day is it today? I can’t believe you both proactively do the cooking.”

The Doppelganger approaches, leaning close yet keeping a safe distance to the steaming pot and takes a deep whiff. Despite him wearing his original form, Kuniko can tell the policeman approves their efforts.

“Smells delicious. And here I thought you two would end up burning the place.”

Akira whines, faking hurt.

“Have faith in us, Makoto. I’m adamant to become a good cook!”

The Doppelganger humours, amused.

“Oh? You realized your responsibilities as a grown adult just now?"

“Yup! Haruaki and I are gonna get married, after all!”

After that moment of nothing but the prolonged dead silence as if for eons, it takes nearly a fortnight for Yamazaki Makoto to finally come to terms with Takahashi Akira’s decision.

Chapter Text

On the first day setting his foot into 2-3 classroom, Abe Haruaki presented himself to be a lousy and not so befitting educator. Aside from him being quirky in the most non-human ways, he was clumsy and spineless when it came to being a homeroom teacher, hence being bullied by students. It was his optimism and determination that he can be so tenacious with class 2-3, and in return, they have learned to respect him.

Today, those admired qualities of him seem to wane, albeit profoundly indistinctly.

His complexion is pastier, his eyes are duller, and his usual heart-shaped smile still serves as one of his best charms, but it doesn’t seem to reach the receiver. The changes are of faintest vestige that one would mistake them for mischief of imagination.

Not Maizuka Mamekichi though, because he is the first to notice what is meant to be hidden.

The Mamedanuki youkai does not voice his concern, not yet; he chooses to discuss the matter with his bestie firsthand, the Yakubyogami, just to reconfirm his observation. 

“Seimei.”

Mikoto blocks his path when the class finally ends, the human teacher has just finished packing up his things and is about to exit for the lunch break.

“Yes, Sano-kun?” He smiles, but it feels like he’s on autopilot rather than genuine joy.

The blond pins his eyes on the taller man, ocean blues rest on reds of blazing suns long enough for his teacher to tilt his head in confusion, then asks.

“Are you okay?”

Seimei laughs in evasion.

“Of course I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”

Before the teenager can interrogate further, the human teacher speedily blends in with the influx of crowds and vamooses to the door, not forgetting to mutter a breathless “Igottagoseeyoulater”.

Maizuka is right, something is definitely suspicious. If it’s the usual Seimei, knowing the coward he is and the sadist Sano Mikoto is, he wouldn’t have the gall to brush the blond off like that, and Mikoto does not believe he is too hasty to assume that they have developed mutual trust. When the god of fortune, who is of little avail in bringing actual fortune, worked at Hyakkai Academy as class 2-3 teacher assistant, Seimei accepted being openly vulnerable and requesting emotional support from those around him, and they have been through thick and thin ever since. Mikoto knows he would be one of those who Seimei would inform first hand should any problem arise, be it significant or trivial.

Maybe it’s something Seimei can’t trust him with? Just a guess but it stings him more than he would expect.

“Wassup’ Sano, you’ve been staring into the void where Seimei has left ages ago.”

Zashiki Beniko interrupts his train of thought, waving a hand in front of him while her other hand is occupied with bread of all kinds, evidently having just returned from the endless chaos of vying with each other for food in the canteen with Hijita as her meat shield, who is standing behind massaging fresh wounds from the previous battle.

“Say, do you guys see that something is off about Seimei?”

“Care to explain?” The Zashiki-Warashi takes a seat in front of the Yakubyogami while her childhood friend drags an adjacent chair to settle himself between her and Mikoto.

“Mame and I noticed he’s hiding something.”

The Dorotabou scoffs, “Whatever is related to that guy, it’s a bad omen.”

“For sure,” the bespectacled girl concurs then takes a voracious bite from the bun.

“He’s actually in a mood today.” The Mamedanuki joins in the conversation.

“A mood?” The childhood friend duo parrots in tandem.

“Yes, a mood. A very complicated mood, full of contradictions. Even he himself doesn’t comprehend this complex mood.”

“If it’s just another of his epileptic fit of sailor uniforms obsession, I’m not listening,” Beniko offers the blond a bread package and he takes it with a nod.

“Even if he’s under the weather, nothing a sailor uniform cannot fix when it comes to that idiot,” Koutarou yawns lazily, leaning on his chair.

“Guys, he’s in love.”

Mikoto effectively shuts them up with a dry statement. The silence is short-lived though, because the next seconds, Beniko and Koutarou guffaws like it’s the best joke they have heard the entire day.

“Seriously? Is it the same sailor uniform fanatic we are talking about?”

“Imagine that idiot knowing something as love.”

“Could be, when they invent sailor-uniform-sexual exclusively for him.”

Mamekichi can only sigh when those two’s laughter augments in volume, defending tiredly.

“Well, it’s just a speculation, but I’m sure about it.” 

“How sure?” Beniko challenges.

“Pretty.” Mamekichi assures.

“How many percent?”

“99%.”

“Based on?”

“Animal instinct.”

“Aight, sounds legit.”

The Mamedanuki youkai narrows his eyes, “You don’t sound too convinced.”

“No harsh feeling man, I know I can trust your intuition but seeing is believing; I need evidence,” the Zashiki-Warashi chaffers.

“Well, just watch him for a while, you will see how painfully similar Seimei is to a love-struck highschool girl,” there’s an impish glint in Mamekichi’s eyes when he adds, “Besides, aren’t you curious about the one who made our idiotic teacher a love-struck highschool girl?”

Indeed, it would be a lie if they don’t give a damn about Seimei’s love interest, which is why the four of them, Sano Mikoto, Maizuka Mamekichi, Zashiki Beniko and Hijita Koutarou spend a whole week to discreetly tail after their homeroom teacher.

Most of the time, Abe Haruaki is a dedicated teacher; his schedule mainly consists of teaching at school and making sure his foul-mouthed Mandragoras are nourished and decent-sized in the garden so the possibility of Seimei having a crush on somebody completely unrelated to Hyakki Academy is low, and that narrows down the targets to the school staff because the four of them would be the firsts to put him behind bars if he have any kind of romantical fantasy about the underages. Though, regarding the knowledge of his exorcism power, the numbers of available candidates drop drastically, only a small handful remain.

The first suspect is Miki Rintarou. They are close, both physically and emotionally; whether it’s having lunch, frolicking, enjoying leisure activities on weekends, these two are joined at the hip. But in Beniko’s standpoint, “They lack that doki-doki kya embarrassment when they are pining dramatically hard for each other”, so no. Aside from the Shutendoji, the contact between everyone else who does not shun the human teacher and said teacher himself seems quite light, friendly rather than affectionate. There’s the principal, who bribes Seimei with a sailor uniform once a month and invites him to exclusive bars and dining places from time to time, but they can’t really tell what he actually is, a sugar daddy of a suitor or just a desperate employer. There’s the Karasu-Tengu youkai, who pickpocketed everyone in school except Seimei, but that’s only because he has laid his hands on the human teacher’s wallet, only to find naught that he put it back out of pity. And there’s the god of fortune, who, despite his title, is not very fortunate himself for always being involved in Seimei’s antics that whatever there is between them is one-sided annoyance. There are also a few more candidates but Beniko omits those options just because.

“Dr. Takahashi is the only one left,” mumbles Mikoto reluctantly.

“And he’s the only one who has been chasing Seimei around with the intention of gutting him open,” says Beniko dryly.

“That’s his unique way of pursuit,” assuages Mamekichi positively.

“You meant unhinged, homicidal pursuit?” asks the girl sardonically.

“Well, we can at least safely agree that Dr. Takahashi is infatuated with Seimei.”

“Must have seen through rose-colored glasses to say that psycho’s interest towards anyone is romantic,” Beniko rolls her eyes at her childhood friend's statement. “And I thought we were investigating our homeroom teacher.”

“We are, and it’s been fruitful: Seimei’s crush is Dr. Takahashi,” the Mamedanuki concludes.

“What part of scurrying away while entreating mercy is considered as being besotted?” Beniko says flatly.

“He’s just a little shy.”

“He’s running for his life.”

“The two aren’t mutually exclusive.”

“Perhaps, but that does not contribute anything to the point you are trying to prove.”

The Tanuki youkai tuts, “You don’t get it Zashiki. Because Seimei likes Dr. Takahashi, he would also like his crush to chase after him.”

“His hyper-fixated-on-performing-dubious-deeds-on-him crush?” The bespectacled girl corrects.

“A bit twisted; nobody’s perfect after all.” Mamekichi shrugs.

“Or maybe Seimei has a thing for lunatics? Who knows,” Mikoto suggests after a few distracted moments.

“Isn’t Dr. Takahashi is a century older than him?” Koutarou reminds him.

“We even considered the Principal and that Karasu-Tengu thief, who are more than chiliads older than him to be probable candidates; Dr. Takahashi ain’t no gramps.” Beniko argues, pushing her glasses up, “Plus, he’s hot, that’s what matters.”

“So a yet-to-be shrivelled gramp would do it for you?” Her childhood friend gasps in disbelief.

“We are talking about our homeroom teacher’s kinks, not mine.”

“Uh, guys, we better get moving. Something is wrong with Seimei.”

Attention from the rest of them is whipped up at Mikoto’s caution, directing at a retreating figure on the corridor. The all-too-familiar teacher to members’ of class 2-3 is usually seen making haste, but this time, as the Yakubyogami has pointed out, there’s an inauspicious difference about him.

Despite her inner complaint, Beniko catches up with her friends to stealthily follow the human teacher.

They stop at the garden on the school rooftop. To the human teacher whose love for his Biology club and its corresponding esoteric ecosystem is infinite, it’s simply a perfect time of the day to relish in the lenient warmth of the sun beneath the unclouded endlessness of the ethers. To normal individuals who do not possess that kind of tolerance for the blooms and bees, namely Mikoto, Mamekichi, Beniko and Koutarou, baring their souls to scorching summertime midday’s heat while stacking on top of one another in a distant corner is utterly stupid and hellish.

Curiosity gets the better of them, nevertheless.

“Doesn’t he look fine?”

“Just wait and see, mud-brain punk,” Mamekichi hushes the Dorotabou, eliciting a silent curse from the other.

On the surface, it’s just your average homeroom teacher taking his lunch break under the shades of verdancy, hugging Marshmallow while cooing to his precious plumpy Mandragora sweet nothings. But if one’s more subtle, more attentive, with certainly would-be-helpful excellent hearing, Abe Haruaki is, in his student’s words, a love-struck highschool girl.

“Oh Marshmallow, what should I do? I‘m a scaredy-cat who can’t face him properly.”

“Don’t be so downcast Seimei. I’m sure he’ll appreciate your hard work.”

“But it's vegetables, and Dr. Takahashi is rich. He could have anything.” The man tenderly pets his favorite Mandragora, voice instinctively drops to a whisper while something deeper inside shatters, “He could have anyone…”

“What’s the matter?”

Upon the round nightshade’s question, the human teacher casts his gaze downwards, as if he has returned to the time when he first worked at Hyakkai Academy, timid, anxious and self-conscious.

“It's just that… sometimes I forget how popular Dr. Takahashi is to people, especially the girls. He has dated all kinds of souls before, and I can’t help but wonder whose heart was it that he kept closest to his own. Would he like, no, could he see me if mine were like that?

“What if I’m reading all the signs falsely? What if he’s interested in something else… somebody else…?” The man sighs, curling up to hide away from the weaknesses being laid bare, “Even if I perfect all the housekeeping chores, what if the hand which he seeks isn’t mine?”

Marshmallow gently asks, “Seimei, are you jealous?”

The addressee exhales slowly, a little embarrassed about how his vision gets blurry so quickly.

“It’s disgraceful, I know, I’m sorry for making you hear my blathering, Marshmallow.”

The pudgy nightshade pats on his hand as an act of comfort, “It’s okay Seimei. Oh, how about this?” On cue, Marshmallow grows from the top of his head a sole white daisy bloom, tilting towards the human teacher, “Go on.”

“You wouldn’t feel a thing if I damaged your flower?”

“Nope!”

“Oh, excuse me, then. You are so sweet, Marshmallow.”

The man is fighting extremely hard to not let a single droplet escape from his eyes. He couldn’t ask for more from a friend. 

Seimei nervously plucks out each petal one by one while muttering “He likes me” and “He likes me not” over and over again until he reaches the last one. The last petal which he will soon remove shall be the answer, but this inevitable end is something every part of him dreads.

“He likes me n—”

“Hey Seimei! What are you moping around for?”

When the human teacher jolts up from his seat, the face of a certain blond greets him whereas his three other friends hesitantly walk up towards them behind him.

“S-Sano-kun?”

“Don’t just cry over a crush like some kind of hormonal teenager, it’s pathetic.”

The man blushes and averts his gaze, perplexed and mortified at the knowledge that his students overheard his conversation with Marshmallow.

“I’m sorry—”

“Don’t apologize either. I don’t need your apology.”

The Zashiki-Warashi interferes smoothly to salvage her friend’s callous choice of words.

“Well, that’s certainly not a very pretty display but your secret is safe with us and a few others.”

“A few others?” Seimei repeats terrifiedly; it’s all thanks to the pride of a teacher that he doesn’t break down right here and now.

“Well, I haven’t told them but definitely will. You will be there too when we discuss this matter.”

“Wait, what?”

“You should feel glad, Seimei. Us girls of class 2-3 will give your virgin ass advice on your little crush.”

Zashiki Beniko leaves the 4 boys there flabbergasted, with the oldest of them flushes even a deeper shades of red that outsiders would have presumed the heatwave is to be blamed. She wastes no time climbing down the stairs and marches straight to the classroom, ignoring all the weak protests from her homeroom teacher in the back.

“Boys, do me a favour, outta here for half an hour,” the bespectacled girl orders curtly.

Most of the male members already take care of their own business somewhere else, and the remaining ones don’t seem to be in the mood to oppose.

“Can I at least know why?” Nyuudou Rensuke lifts a brow but stands from his seat, about to take his leave with Tamao in his arms.

“Other time.”

“If you say so.”

Suddenly remembering something, Beniko motions the Yuki-Onna to come over.

“Ah, but you can stay, Fuji.”

The youkai of frost complies with the girl's request, vague interest woven in his voice, “Okay. But why?”

“You hang out with the gyarus, so I thought you would be qualified in this matter.”

“Qualified? In what?”

The Zashiki-Warashi waits until only female members of the class and an exception are present, then shouts to the other side of the door.

“Seimei, what’re you standing there for? Come in.”

The moment their homeroom teacher slides the door open and sheepishly steps inside, Beniko harrumphs and begins her presentation.

“You see, our moronic teacher is in love, and Dr. Takahashi is his hopeless crush.”

The crowd immediately silenced, boggling at the new information. Most of them are speechless, some cannot wrap their heads around the reason for this novelty, only Touya wears an expression that says “Figured.” Seimei, the epicenter of their shock, can only bite his lips and endure the embarrassment that bakes his face hot and red.

“Anyways, we’ll have to help this idiot and his burdened crush. Any questions? Yes, you there.”

Marilyn is quick to bounce back from the stupor.

“I’ll make it quick: How? Why? When?”

Beniko playfully jabs her elbow at the human teacher’s ribs but he knows her demand isn’t just for show. So, despite his dire urge to shrink into a ball and roll away shamefully, after intensely battling himself inside his head, the man finally disembosoms.

“I’m sorry. I honestly can’t answer how, why and when, because before I knew it, I already fell in love with Dr. Takahashi.” Before his students can say anything, the man promptly supplies, his breathing erratic and hands gesticulating frantically, “I know Dr. Takahashi has certain rare traits, and so am I, and it’s a nonsensical, fleeting thing and—”

“Seimei.”

The abashed man tears his gaze from the ground for the first time from entering the room, shushed and shaken by the firm call of his name.

“We will not demean your emotions, so don’t do that to yourself either.”

The frost cold gaze directed at him is patient, respectful and true to its owner’s words.

“Fuji-kun…”

“Tell us, if you are comfortable and want our help.”

The receiver as well as those surrounding the Yuki-Onna are filled with silent awe, impressed by the fact that the usual brash-saying Fuji Touya can have an incredibly incisive yet soft side. The effects are immediate because Seimei slowly eases off.

“Thank you Fuji-kun. I feel much better now.” Seimei indraws once, twice, and one can tell his courage is mustered up with one look in those sunset eyes, “I like Dr. Takahashi, but I know there are differences between us. He is wealthy, renowned, and popular with people while I’m just a normal human being. Maybe I’m fantasizing it all out, but I thought maybe even I, a commoner can hold his hand, even just for a while. And that thought grew. ”

The teacher tries to compose himself, trying to really confront his true feelings as well as those who are ready to support him. He forces his hands to let go of the shirt they are clinging to like a lifeline.

“What should I do now? Like should I be more stylish? Better at housekeeping stuff? Working harder so as not to be a financial burden? Or letting him examine me to his heart’s content? Should I act more like Dr. Takahashi’s type? I don’t even know his type.”

The man doesn’t bother to tuck his fallen bangs behind his ears; it gives him a flimsy sense of protection, at least for now.

After a minute of seemingly serious contemplation, Zashiki crosses her legs, weaves her fingers together and rests her chin on them as if she’s discussing presidential matters.

“Seimei, if you have to know, you would be the feminine submissive uke who has to be coaxed by his winsome dominating seme. ”

“I thought normally the seme would be taller?” Daisy addresses the oddity.

“Girl, it's the 21st century already, such stereotypes in typical BLs are for fossils. You guys should read some to see my point, by the way.”

“Don’t casually encourage your classmates and homeroom teacher to consume that kind of thing, Zashiki-san,” Renjou Yuri advises solemnly.

“I’m just saying,” Beniko shrugs, totally not guilty.

“What’s uke and seme?” The human teacher asks innocently.

“Don’t listen to whatever nonsense she spouts, Semei,” Touya interrupts, “Don’t listen to yourself when your heart and head are full of doubts either.”

Once again, the Yuki-Onna effortlessly leads the conversation to its desired destination with his eloquence.

“From my point of view, the frequency of him searching for you lately has been increasing drastically. That’s a hint, no?”

Some of the girls nod and vocalize in agreement, reconfirming the similitudes in their observation.

“But he chases others around too, like Izuna-kun.”

“Sure, but you are the one who he is actively looking for without reasons like dissection and experimentation. We know, because he asked us where to find you before.” Koizumi shivers at the memory of having encountered the infamous psychotic doctor.

The sparks in lustrous burgundy eye’s are short-lived.

“But, it’s baseless if he’s romantically attracted to me or not. Besides, no matter how he feels, I don’t know how long can I hold onto this feeling and deceive myself with ever having a chance to be with him, with the vision that I get to grow old by his side, waking up to the notion that I get to bring him joy for as long as time allows me to.” Seimei smiles as if it pains him to do so. “He has every choice, and it’s far-fetched to even dream one of them would be me. He has dated various people from different walks of life before, it’s reasonable that he would settle for someone else that isn’t a total banality such as myself.”

Touya snaps with no malice.

“Seimei, lemme ask you this: if Takahashi-sensei has dated many others who you assume are prettier, smarter, better than you, why does he unequivocally choose you?” The Yuki-Onna adds for good measure, “Hold your breath, take a step back. Do you see the kind of feelings in his gaze when he looks at your closed eyes? In his words when he pronounces your name with the purest elation? In his touch when he takes every chance to hold you close?”

The human teacher is tempted to answer on the spot, opening his mouth, vacillating, then swallowing back whatever argument on the tip of his tongue. 

“I was a bit unsure but it would be a lie to say that we miss all the signs Dr. Takahashi has been persistently sending your way. So, be confident, talk to him,” Momoyama Natsumi says and the girls cheer with her.

“B-but I’m…”

Red in the face and at a loss of words, Seimei bashfully drops his gaze to the ground while Touya sighs knowingly. Geez, he can’t believe the man who’s well in his 20s is still this much of a prude.

“Even if you are a constant trouble-making perverted whiny idiot, Takahashi-sensei loves you for being so, or maybe even more, I’m not psychotic enough to know what he thinks of you. One thing I can say though, Seimei, stand tall.” 

The flood that Seimei has been adamantly keeping under control from morning when he caught a glimpse of Dr. Takahashi with an unfamiliar woman until this very moment finally bursts through his eyes, and it’s unstoppable. The dam will have to open eventually, after all.

“Seimei, you cryin’?” Beniko is taken aback, her voice strangely loses its edges.

“Oh my,” Akibe exclaims but also cannot come up with anything to calm her teacher down like the rest.

“Abe-sensei, please don’t cry.” Utagawa Kuniko panicks, flummoxed at the unexpected situation.

“Should we call his winsome dominating seme to soothe him?” Satsuki Hime suggests.

Somehow, their teacher sniffles louder at that.

“Okay, not calling his seme it is.”

“Read the room!” Marilyn, Daisy and Yuri admonish.

“No, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to show my students such an unprofessional sight,” Seimei forcefully wipes the tears away with his sleeve and suddenly, a forgotten maroon indentation on his hand becomes clear to those around.

“Hey Seimei, what’s that?”

The human teacher opens his eyes with hidden difficulty, expounds, “I accidentally cut myself when I was cooking this morning, but it’s not bleeding anymore, so it’s fine.

The Futakuchi-Onna worriedly enjoins, “Feelings involved or not, you should see Dr. Takahashi.”

“Ah, it was—”

Speak of the devil, the classroom door is abruptly pushed open by none other than the infamous doctor of the youkai world Takahashi Akira. From his mien, his original intention seems to be replaced by an ambiguity upon the sight of the human teacher with red eyes and face.

To the gawking eyes and gaping mouths of those who are in 2-3 classroom, the steps Dr. Takahashi takes when he closes the distance between him and Abe Haruaki are with utmost equilibrium, like walking on glass. No hysteria from him is found too.

“Abe-sensei, I’ve been looking for you. Can I have a moment?”

Confounded and clueless, the human teacher has nothing in himself to disobey.

“Um, okay.”

The Dodomeki takes the human teacher away as swiftly as he arrives, leaving the remaining students in a daze.

“Did you guys see that? Seimei’s winsome dominating Sigma seme came to his rescue!” Satsuki Hime eagerly notes.

“What’s up with the Sigma part?” Akibe points out.

“Extreme masculinity, top dog of the machos,” Beniko elaborates.

“Who cares? Takahashi Akira has scooped Abe-sensei up in his muscled arms, it’s a wedding! Happy ever after life!” Momoyama Natsumi celebrates.

“That’s a little too early,” Renjou Yuri says evenly but can’t conceal the small smile tugging at her lips.

While the girls are busy comparing the newlyweds to other couples in their favourite shows, Beniko mysteriously sneaks out of the classroom whereas Fuji politely takes a seat next to the ponytail-haired girl.

“Hey, Utagawa-san.”

“Yes, Fuji-kun?” The girl salutes in return courteously.

“I’m sorry if I’m being a little nosy, but a while back you seem antsy. You okay?”

The Gashadokuro plays with the hem of her shirt and steers her gaze away from the youkai of frost. 

“Well, it’s about my legal guardian too, so, haha…”

“You noticed?”

“Noticed what?”

“Dr. Takahashi has feelings for Abe-sensei, correct?”

The class representative smiles rigidly, looks into nowhere in particular and ultimately decides to bury her face within her palms. Because Touya is a sensible classmate, he won’t push the query any further. He already has his answers, the only missing puzzle piece left is a confirmation.

Class 2-3 receives the second storm of the day when Beniko ruthlessly hauls the door and informs the world as if she’s Galileo Galilei when he found heliocentrism.

“Guys, Takahashi Akira and Abe Haruaki are dating!”

Chapter Text

There are reasons why Hyakki Academy Newspaper Club is short of members. They had a rough beginning is one thing, but most would see them like scavengers, always lurking and waiting for their prey to accept their imminent demise, which is when one shows the slightest blunder, and it’s enough for the scavengers to pick it apart. Small mercy that the headlines don’t always consist of any unfortunate students, but it isn’t so forgiving when it comes to the school staff. Which is why at this very moment, in a darkened room where scarce light can only slip through narrow crevices of the blinds, the Newspaper Club is having a meeting about which attraction they should release next. 

The Kage-Onna is the first to initiate the conversation.

“As the club advisor, I think we should write something more unique for the next serialization. It’s the quickest way to have more members, and it ought to lessen the burdens on us three every month.”

The girl whose hair is styled into 2 braids cascading down in front of her chest confesses her worries.

“But the teachers were quite angry the last time we discussed their lives. I don’t know if they will let it slide this time.”

The girl with loose pigtails sitting next to her is nonchalant when proposes an alternative, resting her chin on her hand.

“It’s true, but we can pick individuals who are mild-tempered or do not care about their reputation at all, you know, like Abe-sensei and Dr. Takahashi.”

The woman slightly squints her eyes.

“What are you implying?”

“It’s been around for a week now, the illustrious doctor Takahashi Akira and the Japanese teacher Abe Haruaki started dating, can you imagine that?”

“Ah, I heard about that rumour too,” Twin-Braids gasps in realization.

“Right? Everybody is always hungry for a love story, and it’s not like we are bad-mouthing those two. Perchance.”

They all know her addition in parentheses isn’t trustworthy in the slightest, but they’re the Newspaper Club so legitimacy is never an issue. 

“Please proceed, as detailed as possible.”

The teacher Sakai encourages, apparently enraptured more than she would have anticipated.

“I heard Zashiki Beniko’s thunderous voice when she shouted ‘Takahashi Akira and Abe Haruaki are dating’ from class 2-3. Obviously, that caught my attention. Both are notorious for various reasons, but together, they are effective crowd-pullers.”

“Indeed,” Twin-Braids expresses her endorsement, “Dr. Takahashi is a hunk that hardly anyone is immune to, and Abe-sensei is a crowd-puller in a literal sense with how much trouble he tends to make.”

“So they decided to join forces as a trouble-making duo?” The older woman ponders aloud.

“Sakai-sensei, opposite attracts,” Pigtails folds her arms together, speaking all-knowingly, “Doctor Takahashi Akira is rich, handsome, famous, and top-notch in his profession while Abe Haruaki is just an ordinary fella one would not glance twice, if not to say a below average guy. Their chemistry ticks quite many criteria to be a spicy couple dynamic: sugar daddy and sugar baby, or maybe predator and prey, I don’t know—”

“Both are good,” Twin-Braids swiftly interrupts.

“—workplace romance, power imbalance, age gap, you name it.”

“Exactly! Even their personality differs: one is psychotic but charismatic, the other one is wimpish and clumsy, they are perfect for each other. Plus, one is a Fire sign and the other is a Water Sign, one is born in Spring and the other is Winter, like the end and the beginning; they complement each other in a most poetical sense.”

“How do you know their horoscopes and birthdays?” The other teen can’t help but feel afraid and amused by how quickly her friend can collect people’s personal dossiers.

“Oh I know everyone’s. How can I attain this knowledge is a secret between me and God,” Twin-Braids says mysteriously, a smug grin dances across her face, “While now we have the general settings for the hero and the heroine, let’s delve further in their courses of action. As we all are familiar by now, Dr. Takahashi likes to chase Abe-sensei around the precinct, yes?”

The other two hum in confirmation.

“That’s only a pretense. Dr. Takahashi actually wants to cuddle but his partner is too shy to reciprocate his affection at the workplace. I saw them hugging and snuggling against each other before when Dr. Takahashi successfully ambushed Abe-sensei and they thought no one was looking, and if not me, some did.”

“Oh yeah, not just the skinship part, sometimes I catch sight of them chatting inside the Mandragora Café. Those two were definitely on dates.” Pigtails claims with confidence. “Even on brief contact, their salutes for each other seem more intimate and heartfelt than those they give to other colleagues. Those lovebirds ain’t fooling anyone.”

“Don’t forget that resin prism placed on Dr. Takahashi’s desk in the infirmary. I heard the flowers inside that prism are planted, selected and given by Abe-sensei himself that the doctor chooses to preserve them. And in return, Dr. Takahashi occasionally brings back souvenirs from his overseas trip for the human teacher.”

“I would never have thought these two are such romantics.” The Kage-Onna exclaims while her fingers are typing impatiently on her computer, not letting any detail go to waste.

“They definitely have a few screws loose, but maybe we are misdirected by the facade. Or maybe it was never a facade, Dr. Takahashi could have been crazily in love all along. Whatever the case, it’s a compelling story for us to share in the next publication.” 

“Agreed,” Pigtails gives her friend a thumbs up.

“Have you seen them kiss?”

Both teenagers glance at each other for a moment, then answer their teacher in tandem.

“No.”

“Well, that’s for you two to find out. I’m writing the article, so you guys can fetch some photos. Their visuals would boost the newspaper’s popularity. The more you catch them necking in 4K, the better.”

The three of them are all grinning ear to ear, positive and thrilled at the prosperous future they might achieve if the newspaper turns out to be a hit. If lucky, they might have donations and funds even.

“Roger that, sensei.”

With a zealous confirmation, the two girls excuse themselves from the club room to start their operation as paparazzi. After about 15 minutes of asking and looking around, they have identified the wanted couple’s location. Why yes, it’s their favourite Mandragora Café in the middle of the rooftop flowerbed (actually, it’s the human teacher’s comfort zone but they know the doctor would be too pleased to spoil him rotten). 

The two girls tried their best to not make their presence too visible and palpable: they whisper curtly, ordering drinks fast and picking a spot where they get a good view of the would-be center of the gossip they shall cause but still far enough to not alert them or raise suspicion.

It’s a humble coffee shop to begin with, the place is peaceful with even scarcer visits than usual. Customers chiefly linger for the rustic feeling of fresh floral décor and pervading roasted coffee aroma but this case doesn’t apply to the pair cached in a relatively secluded corner. It’s a spacious table with generous sunlight from the glass dome and surrounded by blooming greenery, one Dodomeki and a human teacher sitting face to face, on the table and between them is a Shogi board with most of the pieces being wiped out of the surface. Their miens are neutral, unreadable.

After resting in deep rumination for a pregnant minute, the one with a lab coat makes his move, only for his opponent to smile victoriously as he easily counters with a shift of his bishop. 

“Yay, checkmate! Marshmallow, we won!”

Due to its size, only now can the two girls see a Mandragora placed on the man’s lap as he cheers gleefully. 

“Dinner on me it is,” the Dodomeki concedes, his tone is even and bears no resentment.

“Oh, giving up already?” The human teacher asks with genuine care.

"We’ve been playing for almost an hour and I can hardly make you disoriented; might as well simply accompany you for the night.”

At the doctor’s honesty, the human teacher can only avert his gaze in embarrassment while his face is two shades redder than a tomato and his cowlick fluttering frantically.

The girls only wait for this moment.

“Ah!”

Twin-Braids screeches as the cup of coffee escapes her grasp and crashes loudly to the ground, splattering its scalding content and jagged fragments. Nearby customers all whip their heads towards the strident sound.

“Are you alright? Please refrain from touching the shards or you might injure yourself.”

In the middle of the commotion, Abe Haruaki is the first to reach where the girls sit, offering his aid and briskly scanning the situation.

“Doctor Takahashi, please give these two a check up.”

Twin-Braids shakes her head and hands, evincing vehement refusal.

“There is no need for that, I’m perfectly fine. The drink is hotter than I expected so I accidentally let it slip, that’s all.”

“Lying is not good, you know,” Doctor Takahashi Akira is close behind the human teacher, inspecting both of them then turning to the taller man, “Abe-sensei, can you please go to the infirmary and fetch my first aid kit in the cabinet next to my desk. Thank you sincerely.”

“No, it’s—”

“I’ll go right away. The rest count on you, Dr. Takahashi. You girls say put.”

Not letting Twin-Braids oppose further, the man wastes no time to barge out of the shop and disappears behind the door to the staircases.

“Dear customers, are you alright? We are terribly sorry for the inconvenience we have caused.” A pudgy Mandragora approaches them and bows; the youkai doctor and the girls can’t really tell these nightshades apart but they infer it’s the shop’s staff.

“No worries Norio, I’ll give them treatment and help with the cleaning later, too,” the Dodomeki assures gently, not forgetting to add a charming wink.

“My name’s Noriko, you jerk.”

When the Mandragora retreats to the counter, the doctor’s gaze suddenly hardens, sharpens, blood-red eyes staring directly at the two teenagers as if the personable display just seconds ago is a trick of the mind that they freeze in alarm, strangely forgetting how to breathe.

“Just because of some petty tattle and cheap photos, two girls go to the extent of playing truant, risking endangering themselves to cause a mayhem to cover the noises of camera shutter, and most of all, taking advantage of a dedicated teacher’s kindness. I think this would be a more suitable headline than whatever you are having in mind, no?”

Even if his tone is light, his eyes are that of utmost cruelty.

Twin-Braids and Pigtails gulp, being reminded again about the universal fear people hold for this doctor. Even without any characteristic syringes and scalpels insight, he’s unhinged and he can kill, they learn belatedly.

“W-We apologize deeply, we will delete the photos immediately,” Pigtails stutters and stares through teary eyes, biting hard into her lips when she manages to finish her sentence. 

“Splendid! Can you also delete the video you are filming with your phone in your school bag too?”

Pigtails can’t help but jolt from her stance whereas the Dodomeki droops his lids. A vague curve forming on his lips, wry and similar to a sneer.

“I’m a Dodomeki, nothing can go unnoticed by me.” 

“I’ll delete it now,” on cue, the Pigtails fishes wildly for the phone in her bag whereas her legs are doing everything they can not to give out and succumb to gravity. Seeing her friend, Twin-Braids also breaks out of the rigid state to pull out the hidden camera and put her shaking hands to work. She may be overreacting, but she cannot mistake the pure uncontained bloodlust that the doctor fails to conceal beneath his crooked expression and inside those omniscient eyes. They are foolish to not have the notion that doctor Takahashi Akira is lethal ingrained in their brains already.

“What are you guys doing? Aren’t you injured?”

Returning as fast as he has vanished, Abe Haruaki asks through heavy exhales and tries to deter the girls from continuing whatever they are doing. Deducing from the circumstances, the human teacher glances at the doctor with a displeased furrow but before he can utter his reproach, Twin-Braids bows and confesses with shutted eyes.

“We are so sorry for deceiving you and worrying you, Abe-sensei. I’m not injured or anything. We only wanted to take a few photos of you and Dr. Takahashi for our newspaper, thus causing the scene.”

Pigtails copies, lowering her torso, “We didn’t realize the consequences of our action. Once again, we are sorry.”

The human teacher blinks once, twice, goes silent for a second then says, “Please raise your heads, I’m glad that you are unharmed. Please don’t ever try to hurt yourselves like that again. If you really want a photo of us, you can just ask.”

“Really?”

The two girls perk up to the man’s horror.

“Please don’t cry too. We don’t mean to intimidate you, right Dr. Takahashi?”

The human teacher gritted the last part between his teeth while smiling menacingly, leaving no room for disagreement.

“Yeah yeah, sorry for scaring ya.”

“Hey, what’s with that half-hearted attempt!?”

“Abe-sensei, he was just trying to protect your privacy,” Pigtails pacifies, “Also, is it really okay for us to take your pictures? We are from the Newspaper club, you know, the one who framed you for stealing students’ uniforms.”

She immediately regrets professing such because Takahashi Akira glares like he has every intention of flaying her alive but Abe Haruaki flails a hand in front of him to shoo him away.

“But you guys are making changes, and I think that’s great. So come on, let’s take a selfie together.”

When the teenagers are too flabbergasted to react, the human teacher pulls out his phone from his pocket and looks to his side, “Do you mind?”

Despite his pout, Dr. Takahashi eases up, the previous intense aura vanishes when he replies.

“Abe-sensei, you are asking someone who relentlessly appears in the newspaper. And if it’s with you, you know I wouldn’t reject anything.”

The two girls finally come over at the teacher’s beckoning after concluding that they should just go with the flow. They take a picture with the tallest’s phone then except the Dodomeki, they exchange Line contacts.

“Sent! Thank you for the photo, it’s lovely,” the human teacher reassures with his index finger hovering in front of his lips, smiling. “You should head to your classroom now, I’ll cover up for you.”

Purposefully apologizing to Abe-sensei once more, both girls absquatulate as fast as they can out of the coffee shop until they set a possibly safe distance between them and those two. 

“Are we still doing this?”

Pigtails asks while fixing her tangled hair and ruffled bangs.

“You mean weaving hearsay about them?”

Twin-Braids says through laborious breathing, leaning her shoulder on the nearest wall.

“Look, I know we are hungry for new content but Abe-sensei is incredibly lenient to us. We can’t offend him.”

“Yeah, I don’t intend to deface him either. Or else we would offend Dr. Takahashi too,” The other girl purses her lips, annoyed at her own decision, “A while back, even when he didn't exhibit distinct behaviours, I saw Dr. Takahashi throwing a silent tantrum. I knew he didn’t mind being the crux of scandals, but he couldn’t stand the thought of his loved one in that position. So there you go, the answer to your question.”

Pigtails beams, signaling her friend to head to their classroom.

“They make a nice picture, don’t they?”

Twin-Braids huffs out good-naturedly, walking by her friend’s side.

“That they do.”