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She knew why her father was yelling at her in English even though no one was technically around – the walls of the motorhome were thin, he was shouting, people were nosy, the perfect recipe for aggressive humiliation. The only thing you’ll ever drive is a fucking truck! Were the parting words from Jos before slamming the door on his way out.
Max could feel her eyes water, her face burn. Shaking, she grabbed the nearest thing to her hand and threw it to the wall, the water bottle snapping open and wetting the floor. “BLOODY MOTHERFUCKING ASSHOLE!” She hoped everyone heard that too. I’ll go after him, she thought for a moment, I’ll grab him in front of everyone and say how I’m already a better driver than he ever was , but she bottled that anger, Max kept it close to her chest, ready to use it as fuel for the next race, the way her father had taught her. She came in fourth this time, she could already taste her first podium. It was only a matter of time.
Knock… knock… knock…
By the uneasiness of the sound, it wasn’t Jos again, ready for round two, so she relaxed a little, rolling her shoulders and neck. With a deep breath she opened the door.
“Hey, Maxy… can I come in?” Danielle had her signature ear-to-ear smile, disarming as always.
“Came here to spread it on my face?”
Dani laughed, “I don’t bully children.”
Max crossed her arms, making a sour face – being called a kid by Danielle was somehow worse than being yelled at.
“Well,” Dani leaned over, her forearm on the frame of the door. “just wanted to see how you were holding up.”
“The only thing I was holding I threw on the wall.” She pointed at the wet floor and the laugh that came along made her heart skip a beat, as always.
“Aw, Maxy, don’t be like that. You were great today, truly. In no time you’ll be beating me.” Dani tucked Max’s short hair behind her ear. “I’m glad you’re fine…” The voice was as soft as the caress, Max basked in it all, every tenth of second of that touch on her, she moved her head, chasing it, but Dani removed her hand. “But now I have to go. The streets are calling me and there’s a beer with my name on it somewhere I don’t know yet. I’ll see you tomorrow, ‘kay? Be a good girl.”
And as suddenly as she arrived, Dani was gone. It was always like that with her, she had freedom, she had friends, she was always the life of the party, people got happy when she arrived and sad when she was gone, Max envied that as much as she was also one of those people enchanted by the australian. Max sat on the sofa, the fire in her loins burned bright, not from anger any longer, but from desire. Dani touched her ear. It was hot and tingly like a sting from a poison ivy, she wanted more, she wanted that feeling to travel all over her body, going down and down… She closed her eyes and imagined what Dani could do to her, what she wanted Dani to do to her, Max wanted to feel that hand again, pulling her hair, wanted to feel lips around her ear, bites on her neck. God, she was such a dyke.
She had to do something.
Max had never been to a club before. Been drunk? Sure, she wasn’t a loser, but clubs? No, they seemed like a pain in the arse to enter and not worth the trouble, but she figured out quickly that being an F1 driver had its perks after all, as she wasn’t even carted to enter – and she was pretty sure anyone could google her actual age… Well, whatever, she was on a mission here: find Danielle.
She swam in the sea of bodies, trying not to get caught up in the music, the dance floor had to wait. An ABBA song was playing.
“Can I get a gin and tonic, please?” Max said to the bartender and added: “Add it to the Red Bull account.” For good measure, but she figured if she got into the club without trouble, the bar would know who she was as well.
Max slammed the drink in a few gulps and asked for another one, she would go down like a champion, she had to. Drink in hand, she explored the place. Bodies, lights, heat, sweat, music banging on her eardrums, the smell of tobacco. She wanted a ciggie. She felt hands on her arms as she passed by, beautiful women one after the other, but she only had a certain brunette with a roman nose in mind. It’s so easy to ask for a cigarette, to feel the cold air outside, to see the smoke combine with her breath, to feel the heat reaching her fingertips, burning, making her drop the butt on the ground. She hoped for the stench to linger, for her father to notice, for him to yell, lose his mind, talk about how she’s going to get cancer and die. She smiled. She wanted Dani to notice it too, to think she wasn’t a kid, she would be eighteen soon enough, what’s the difference between a month or two? Max wasn’t going to magically change to an adult, she would be the same way she was now.
“Hey, are you Max Verstappen?” Some guy asked.
“No, but I do get that a lot.”
Max took one last deep breath before going to the bar again. She had to drink some more before her attempt, if she failed, she would not only have an excuse – drunk –, but Danielle would worry about her and probably bring her home. Another gin and tonic… a tequila shot… now some vodka and Red Bull… maybe an Old Fashioned? She never had that before. Her eyelids were heavy, the cacophony of sounds and flashing lights were starting to make her head hurt.
“Max?” She turned around mid sip and had to squint her eyes a little. Danielle, with an unfamiliar worried look. “What are you doing here?”
Max couldn’t help but notice how good she looked, her tight sparkly dress making her boobs look bigger. Danielle crossed her arms.
“My eyes are up here, bozo. I asked you a question.”
Max got up the stool, blinking slowly and getting closer to the tall woman. She loved that she had to look up to talk to her.
“Do not call me that.”
Danielle laughed. “What? Bozo?”
“No, don’t call me Max. Call me Maxy, like you always do…” She got even closer, wrapping her arms around Dani’s neck. Dani uncrossed her arms and got a hold of Max’s waist, keeping her in place, not letting her get any closer. She was smiling still, fondness in her eyes.
“How much have you had to drink?”
“Just two of gin and tonics… and some shots…” Danielle removed one of Max’s hands from her neck, the Dutch stopped to kiss her hand. “Call me Maxy again.”
“You’re drunk.”
They started to swing back and forth on the dancefloor, bodies still horribly far for Max’s liking.
“I want you.”
Max tried to get closer again, making their chests touch.
“You’re a kid, you don’t know anything.”
Danielle manoeuvred the desperate girl away, but just a bit. She bit her lip and locked her eyes on Max’s, landing on an unconvincing stern look.
“Please, do not say that, you do not think that. You want me too.”
Max's eyes started to water, the several drinks catching up to her.
“I humor you.” Danielle said as she brought her hands to Max's face, whipping her eyes and staying there.
“Liar.” Max grabbed Dani’s wrists.
“You’ll have to wait. You know that.”
Max shook her head and tightened her grip.
“Give me something to wait for.”
The club got quiet, the flashing lights coming to a halt. The two drivers stared at one another as if the act would make time go by faster, like a foot in the pedal. They could hear the noise of the engine, three hundred kilometres per hour. Danielle pinched Max's cheeks, her smile the brightest thing in the room. “Not here.” She whispered. They both moved at the same time, getting out of the club as quickly as possible, the wind caressing their hair, gluing it to their foreheads and neck. The sound of Dani's heels on the pavement were tiny firecrackers. Max wondered how she was able to run in those shoes as her feet were starting to hurt inside her sneakers, but pain had no place in that moment. They laughed, dragging each other by the hand, the thought of a cab to their hotel never crossing their minds. For the first time in her life, Maxine Émilie Verstappen felt her age. She was young, she was free, she was… happy.
The cold air from inside the hotel hurt their lungs as they gasped for air on the elevator, the laughter only made it worse. Max, with her hands on her knees, looked up to see the numbers rising – three… four… five… She looked at Danielle, wiping tears from her eyes, trying to stop her giggles. She looked so beautiful beneath the harsh white light, Max's heart clenched. Suddenly, everything wasn't so funny anymore. She got in Dani's personal space again, just like at the club, their faces so close they could feel each other breathing. Max brushed their noses together up and down, Dani fluttered her eyelids closed.
A peck. It was uncertain, too quick, blink-and-you'll-miss-it.
This time, they bumped their noses, clanked their teeth. Ouch.
Dani laughed, opening her eyes and admiring Max’s face, committing every detail to memory. “Easy, tiger.”
Max whimpered.
Taking mercy, Dani closed the gap once more, leading the kiss. Max felt her knees trying to buckle, her skin tingle, her breathing stop, her mind blank. It was the best bloody kiss of her life.
The Ding! of the elevator made them separate as quickly as they got together, trying to tidy up their clothes, fix their hair, but the manic grin on their faces gave them away, like two children who just got away with something naughty.
They walked down the empty corridor of the hotel side by side, Max getting closer, wanting to touch, and Dani pushing her away, but with a smile on her mouth.
“I already gave you something to wait for, Maxy Max, now be a good girl and keep your word.”
Max groaned. “Life is so unfair.”
Dani threw her head back laughing and Max admired her throat in awe.
“It sure is, buddy, it sure is.” They hugged at the door to Max's room. Both not wanting it to end, but to stay like that for a lifetime. “Good night.”
Max kissed Dani on her cheek.
“Good night, Danielle.”
She went inside and closed the door, taking a deep breath, her back on the wall, she looked around the hotel room fantasizing about the day she and Danielle would share one together, the day they would no longer have to keep secret. She could wait. She was sure of it.