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Sonia.
Was Flora Latour briefly possessed? Was there a vengeful demon out there who, even if for just a second, forced her to consider sinning?
That was all she could think about on the walk home.
It was lonely, but she was used to it. Her father had left her behind again. Her sisters usually hitched rides with strange men in exchange for ‘favors’. She didn’t want to feel like a burden on someone like Miss Hedgehog; Flora already knew she had a lot on her plate.
Sonia. Fireworks. Hands.
Flora grimaced, for a moment considering that maybe, just maybe, this was a nightmare that she would wake up from any minute now, but that wasn’t the case.
If only she hadn’t forgotten her headphones. It would’ve made the walk from Home Depot go by quicker, as well as helped her drown out her inner thoughts.
But no, instead here she was. In the dark of the night, feeling an uncomfortable breeze as her legs fast-walked as much as possible.
As soon as she got to her house, she could tell no one else was there yet– which was fantastic. Reaching for the key, she slipped inside and booked it to her room. The rosary decorating the door hitting the flat wood as the door was locked.
It didn’t matter that it was nighttime and that she still had things to do around the house and that she hadn’t eaten anything in hours, because she knelt on the floor by the foot of her bed, palms pressed against one another tightly and brought to her chest, eyes shut. Closing in fear more than anything
“Dear God, I-…”
Strange. Prayer usually came so easily for her. Even if it was about the most uneventful of days, she could thank Him for the comfort, the stability, and the mere fact that he let her live to see another one.
And she would tell you, this day- or rather, this night , was anything but uneventful.
Instead, she found herself harping on another way of starting it. Forgive me…
What for? She didn’t do anything wrong, not that she was aware of. Other than the potential of…
Sonia. Fireworks. Hands. Knuckles.
(Suddenly, she was mildly, uncontrollably shaking. As she often did when she felt too much emotion, not knowing where to put it.)
Okay. She had it now. She could do this.
“Dear God, apologies for the false start. I’d hate to keep you waiting. I just have a lot on my mind- w-which isn’t an excuse! I know! Just, um… I-... wanted to thank you for… intervening during the fireworks show outside of Home Depot. It was fun. Everyone had a good time, it just went a bit sour for a split second there… Um… I don’t recall if I thought one of us was cold, or if I thought I saw a mosquito… but I almost… touched… Sonia’s hand…”
Her voice got quieter and quieter (as if that was possible) with each word, making sure that her door was locked and that nobody was eavesdropping. The idea of continuing made her heart sink, but she persevered.
“...But her new… boyfriend, Knuckles, was faster than me and held it first. As was his right, being a heterosexual man partaking in age-appropriate public displays of affection with his… heterosexual girlfriend…
…
…For the first time, I am glad to be rather invisible,” she wasn’t quite sure where these words were coming from, but there was no stopping now. “You were really looking out for me on that one, even if it was merely a gust of wind that caused my shift of position during that time. If anyone had seen my slight arm movement that nearly made contact with the other girl’s, I likely wouldn’t hear the end of it.”
She meant the others: her sisters, her father, her friends. And then the thought crossed her mind; Sonia herself.
“Oh my gosh, she would’ve felt so lost. Holding hands with someone that wasn’t her boyfriend… while her boyfriend was right there. Would she have yelled or granted me the mercy of pulling away, hopefully pretending this never happened? Something like that happened during our big fight at school– I’m still in awe over how quickly she forgave my actions that day. I would’ve thought I was unforgivable, but she proved me wrong. She truly is such a kind person…”
If it was possible, Flora was practically melting. From the heat in her cheeks to the butterflies in her stomach.
She caught herself and stopped it immediately, making a mental note to wash her hands right after her prayer.
But not before one more thought entered her little head:
Had she successfully… held hands with Sonia, while Knuckles was right there, …could there have been even a split second where Sonia thought Flora was Knuckles?
In other words, Sonia thinking that Flora was her date? Even if mistakenly?
Sonia… dating… Flora…
“Oh my god- gosh! Sorry! I don’t know what came over me! Those thoughts- They’re impure! I know that very well, Lord. I do not condone these false situations… They have no basis in reality, as we are all entirely heterosexual and waiting until marriage, as you intended, of course… It’s not Sonia’s fault that her gene pool is contaminated, with her brother being an open homosexual and all. That’s Sonic’s burden to overcome and repent for when the time comes, not Sonia’s. I can only pray for her to not end up the same…”
Her breath got caught in her throat.
“...That may be a reason why Sonia herself shows signs of potentially sinful behavior; she’s slowly, but surely, been desensitized. What with Sonic openly desiring other boys in such close proximity to her. Her preferring my harlot sister’s friendship over mine, even in my attempts to get closer to both of them and get them to see the light. Not to mention her outfit choices. She doesn’t usually wear anything too revealing, thankfully, but I know she seeks attention. She works her poor mother to the bone to buy her the flashiest of outfits to show off. Even swimsuits. That’s why I can’t keep my eyes off of her when we’re at the beach. Or when we have sleepovers; she always looks so cozy and comfortable, snuggled up against her bed full of stuffed animals and makes me wish I was by her side. Her, so at peace. So…. beautiful… ”
Swallowing hard, Flora carefully spoke.
“Before we went to Home Depot, I helped her get ready for her big date. I helped pick out the outfit, and brush her luscious hair, and apply light makeup on her soft skin… She smells like frosted animal crackers you can purchase at the Dollar Tree for slightly over a dollar, but still at an affordable price…
Oh my, and she's also such a talented little pianist. She’s just cool like that, in her own words. It’s not something she shares with the world too often, but I’m thankful she’s played songs for me… Where was I going with this? Oh, right. The… thing at the fireworks show.
…I am… truly… s-so happy for her having Knuckles now. She’s liked him for a while now, and it seems their dancing around each other has finally paid off… I should’ve never tried interrupting what they had for my own selfish desires, to have what Knuckles had- I-! I mean-! ”
Eyes shot open, Flora was about to panic. Her frazzled breathing was already beating her to the punch. Did the five second rule apply for God?
“…W-What Sonia had… That’s what I meant to say… Y-You know that’s what I meant to say, right? A slip of the tongue… Haha…”
She looked up at the moon, as though facing God himself in a show of desperation. “...Please…”
Her voice cracked. Biting down on her lip and shutting her eyes harder did nothing as hot tears poured down her face.
She sobbed. Sobbed. And sobbed.
There was nothing more she could say. He knew.
“...God… P-Please… I h-hope you can forgive m-me…”
The follow-up conversation was strictly between her and the Lord. He did make one thing clear– it wasn’t her fault. Whose was it, then? Well, she could put two and two together. She couldn’t believe Sonia would do that to her.
With a sign of the cross, Flora got up to wash her hands.
Turning on the sink, lathering up soap, and scrubbing every which way she could.
She could feel it working already. Washing away everything Sonia was making her feel.
The mind was a sandbox. A place of ideas, no matter how nonsensical. It did not inherently mean that you support or desire to act on whatever shows up in there.
Flora was simply getting her wires crossed. She was attached to Sonia, being one of her few friends. The idea of her having a new boyfriend meant that Flora would be getting less attention. They had already overcome this exact hurdle, but sometimes, lessons needed to be learned more than once. God was understanding of that, but you still need to put in the effort.
The sin was washed off. A mixture of water, soap, and hints of blood down the drain. Hands left sore from the scorching hot water and scratched up by her own nails.
/
Flora stared as her pepperoni pizza Hot Pockets spun around in the microwave. Not too long later, she took them out and ate on the dining table by herself.
Her family still wasn’t back yet. If she were to guess, her father was at a strip club and her sisters disappeared into the night with men that were suspicious to say the least. If they came back by four in the morning, it would be a new record.
/
After showering and doing her nightly routine, she was off to bed. And by that, she meant a few hours of laying down using her phone. (After a half hour of reading her bible app, of course!)
The sight of her lockscreen gave her a small pang in her heart. A selfie she had taken with Sonia on the bus during a school field trip to a 9/11 memorial. They looked so happy– Sonia, photogenic as ever with a radiant smile. Meanwhile, Flora wasn’t even looking at the camera, instead her vision shrouded in pink.
As it was right now, when Flora checked her Instagram for the first time all day, she found herself gravitating to Sonia’s story on there.
Her heart nearly leaped out of her chest when one of the pictures had her in it. Sonia must’ve taken it when she wasn’t looking, but at least it was about how the hedgehog was spending time with friends.
The next slide was Sonia giving Knuckles a kiss on the cheek during the fireworks, making a cheesy comment about ‘sparks flying’.
Flora turned off her phone.
Tears splattered onto her pillow.
She got up to wash her hands again.