Chapter Text
OSAMU DAZAI created a group chat
OSAMU DAZAI renamed the group chat: HOUNDS
OSAMU DAZAI added: BLAISE ZABINI, DRACO MALFOY, RON WEASLEY, and 3 others to the group chat HOUNDS
DAZAI: Heyo!!!
HERMI: Hello, Dazai!
DAZAI: 🙂
RONWE: hgwhatnisnthis?!?
DAZAI: ?
DAZAI: ron do u know how to type
DRACO: wHat is This?
DAZAI: can no one type wtf
PANSY: why is my rectangle vibrating
DAZAI: its called a phone
PANSY: shut up demon
DAZAI: at least ur better at texting than draco and ron
HERMI: Okay, let’s all just calm down, please.
PANSY: why the fuck are you talking like that
HERMI: I’m not talking, I’m texting.
PANSY: youre what
RONWE: bgbHELPnHOWvghTObhjTYPE?
DAZAI: someone teach ron how to text
TWINS: SNAKEY!!!!!! WE CAN TEACH RON HOW TO TEXT!!!!
DAZAI: cool
DAZAI: ty
PANSY: what does that mean
HERMI: Thank you.
PANSY: for what
HERMI: …Nevermind.
PANSY: hey you still need to tell me what ty means
PANSY: oh
DAZAI: wow that was rlly sad tbh
PANSY: shut up demon
DAZAI: nuh uh
RONWE: y did yu make this chat anyway daszai
HERMI: Why did you make this chat anyway, Dazai?
RONWE: wuetver
DAZAI: i thought it would be a cool idea bc i cant send letters and its summer break
DRACO: oH tHats wHy you gave us tHese rectangles
DRACO: tHeyre called pHones rigHt
DAZAI: um draco
DAZAI: is ur h key broken
DRACO: How would it be broken
DAZAI: nvm ig
DAZAI: hjBHJBINhbhUVrtycvGHJBhj
DAZAI: sdfghjkl;ldme
DAZAI activated: voice message
DAZAI has sent: voice message
DAZAI: “Stop it, Slug!”
HERMI: Umm Dazai?
DAZAI has sent: voice message
DAZAI: “Shut up, Mackerel!”
DAZAI: “Who’s short now?”
DAZAI: “Oh shi-,”
DAZAI: “Chibi it’s recording,”
DAZAI: “It’s recording,”
DAZAI: “Oh fu-,”
DAZAI: hi
RONWE: dsazai wat was that
DAZAI: someone stole my phone
HERMI: Who?
DAZAI: a dwarf
DAZAI: hi it’s the person who stole Osamu’s phone
DAZAI: i’m not a dwarf
DAZAI: yes he is
DAZAI: gbreiuBUIbibw139
HERMI: I think this was more than enough screen time for me.
HERMIONE GRANGER has: Left the Group Chat
TWINS: AWW BYE HERMIONEEE
RONWE: who is Oasmu
DAZAI: its osamu and its me
DAZAI: are u slow or smth ron
RONWE: hiw dare yuo
RONWE: im smart
DAZAI: but u cant spell or type
TWINS: AWW SNAKEY DONT BULLY POOR RONNIKINSSS
DAZAI: its not bullying if its the truth
PANSY: i’m not sure that’s how it works.
DAZAI: why do u and hermione use punctuation when ur texting
PANSY: because i can?
PANSY: stupid demon
DAZAI: heyyyy :(
DAZAI: thats mean
PANSY: i know.
PANSY: that’s why i said it.
DAZAI: *le gasp of offende*
DAZAI: oh shit ive been on c.ai too much
RONWE: wats that
TWINS: YEAH ACTUALLY WHAT IS THAT
DAZAI: ummm
DAZAI: u dont need to know
DAZAI: oh shit i gotta go
TWINS: WHY
RONWE: yaeh y?
DAZAI: i have screen time
TWINS: ?????
OSAMU DAZAI has: Left the Group Chat