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After Tamara walked out and Tim asked Lucy if she wanted him to take care of Seth, she was just about to turn about and walk out when she noticed the cut on his head.
“What happened to your head?”
“Oh, it’s nothing.” Tim blows it off.
“If I ask Nolan, will he tell me the same thing?”
“Probably,” he shrugs but sees Lucy isn’t giving up. “Okay, last night Mickey came at me with a shower pole.”
“That doesn’t look good. Did you get it checked out? Are you okay?”
“Yes I did get it checked out and yes I’m okay. I feel worse about letting you down. Again.”
“Tim, what are you talking about?”
“You called me. You called me and needed my help. Once again I wasn’t there for you,” he frowns.
“Tim, this is different. I know you would’ve been there if you could’ve been. That’s why I called you.”
“Yeah, I guess. I gotta go.” He says quickly and walks out.
Lucy sighs before walking out herself. She wants nothing more than things to be different. For things to be okay again. For Tim to be able to open up and talk to her.
•••
Tim just got home from a long day. His head was pounding. He groans as he walked to his medicine cabinet to grab some advil.
As he was walking into his kitchen to get some water, there was a knock at the door. Of course, Kojo threw out a few barks before Tim got to the door telling him to sit.
Once he opens the door, he sees Lucy standing on the other end. He can tell by the look on her face that she has something to say so he steps out of the way and lets her walk in.
“You’re such an idiot!”
“Lucy—“
“No, let me talk,” she says firmly. He nods.
“You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to act like your life means nothing. You matter Tim, and I wish you’d get that into that hard head of yours,” she yells.
Tim has tears in his eyes but is quiet, letting her finish.
“I asked Nolan what happened. Why are you always putting yourself in a situation acting like you don’t matter? That if you died that nobody would care?”
“I broke us. I broke you. I’m trying, I really am but somedays those voices win. Somedays I really believe that my life doesn’t matter.”
“You matter to a lot of people. You matter to me especially,” she has tears in her eyes now too.
“Even after everything?”
“Yes Tim, even after everything. It’s not easy to just stop caring about the person you love the most. As mad as I was, and still am it doesn’t mean that I don’t care.”
“I’m sorry Lucy. I was late this morning because I actually had an emergency session with my therapist. I hate that I feel this way. I don’t want to feel this way anymore.”
“I know, Tim. But I’m proud of you for asking for help. Healing takes time but you’re moving in the right direction, I can see it. And I’m proud of you.”
“That means a lot coming from you. Thank you,” he finally makes eye contact with her.
“I want to help you Tim, but you have to be honest with me. You have to let me in.” He nods, not really sure what to say.
“Look, I’ve been thinking about what happened the other night—“ now is his turn to cut her off.
“That it can’t happen again, I know.”
“That wasn’t what I was going to say. I’ve been thinking quite a lot about the other night, actually. And Tim, I don’t want that to just be a one time thing. I don’t want it to be just some ex sex that we move on from and never look back.”
“Me either. For quite a few days after I blamed myself. I thought I took advantage of you and only hurt you worse. But my therapist helped remind me that you had a voice in that night, too,” Lucy nods.
“I was the one who initiated the kiss even after saying ‘we shouldn’t’. I knew what I, what we were doing was messy but I wanted it anyways. And I still do,” she looks up at him with a playful smile.
“Oh yeah?” He smirks.
“I do. But in order for this… for us to work Tim, you need to let me in. No more wishing your life away, no more running when things get hard.”
“I might need some reminding but I promise. I want to let you in Luce, I do. I want you to know what’s going on up here. But it’s hard.”
“I get that. But I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be by your side through the good days and especially during the bad days.”
“I hope you know that goes both ways. I wasn’t always there for you in the ways I should have been before but that changes.”
They’re both standing in the entry way of his house, crying. Kojo nudges Tim’s leg which makes them both chuckle.
“Guess we’ve been ignoring him for too long,” Lucy says reaching down to pet him.
“Hey, come here,” Tim opens up his arms once she stands back up and she easily falls into them.
Neither know how long they stand their just holding each other for until Lucy’s stomach growls. He releases his grip and looks down at her,
“I guess I should probably feed you, huh?” He jokes.
“Mmm I guess. But I was thinking something else sounds good right now,” she smirks.
He just shakes his head and laughs. “I’m hungry and you’re going to need that fuel for later.”