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Chapter Text

The party has been going on for a few hours and the music coming from the other room seems louder now. Jihoon didn’t think that was even possible. It’s no wonder that the party goers in the room he’s in are watching Netflix with subtitles on.

He already had a few drinks so far but has decided that he won’t go further than that. He even rejected Jaehyuk’s offer to make him another one, which is saying something because Jaehyuk doesn’t do that often (make an offer, not the drink-making) and he can make a mean one (a drink, not an offer). Jihoon doesn’t want to spend a third of his weekend hangover, thank you very much.

Ever since he arrived at the party hosted by Minseok and his housemates, Jihoon had seen and spoken to at least ten of their course mates and a few other people he recognizes. He however hasn’t seen Minseok for some reason. If he’s being mean, he’ll say it’s because of the other’s height that’s making him difficult to be spotted, but he’s not. Minseok’s likely at the back of the house which Jihoon hasn’t ventured to so far tonight.

Finding the conversation with the girl he shared a course with back in first year (Jiyeon or was it Mijoo?) getting dull and to be honest, the consistent twirling of her hair is distracting, Jihoon mumbles out an excuse and beelines for the backyard.

He didn’t realise it was hot inside until he steps out, where on perfect timing, a gentle breeze blows, ruffling his hair slightly. He doesn't regret not doing anything to his hair before leaving the apartment he shares with Siwoo and Jaehyuk because like he said to the former, he’s just going to the party to have a few drinks and destress a bit, not to “finally get laid” as suggested by the latter.

There’s surprisingly quite a handful of people outside, mostly scattered in groups sitting around at the various tables or just standing and talking. Jihoon instantly sees the appeal. There doesn't seem to be any need to raise one’s voice here nor is there a need to lean into people’s personal space to be able to hear them properly.

Jihoon runs his hand through his hair as he looks around to find Minseok. He doesn’t think he’ll be staying at the party for much longer but it doesn’t seem proper to leave without at least talking to the host. Thankfully his suspicion is correct in that Minseok is indeed at the backyard. Jihoon quickly makes his way towards where he is sitting around a table with a few other people.

As he gets closer, he identifies one of Minseok’s housemate, Hyeonjun, as well as a few of their mutual friends. Relief floods him cause at least now he won’t have to awkwardly interrupt and take Minseok away from a group of strangers. There is however a person at the other end of the table, who has noticed Jihoon making his way, that he can’t quite place.

Minseok spots him second, calling his name loudly as if Jihoon isn’t already walking towards them. Wangho smacks him on the side, not so gently by the looks of it if the way Minseok’s rubbing at his arm is any indication. But the smiles are ever present on their faces, Minseok lightly pushing the final year student in retaliation.

“Hey, what’s up guys,” Jihoon says in greeting, coming to a stop at Minseok’s side, his hand landing on the other’s shoulder briefly.

There’s a chorus of hey and hi in return from the group, immediately followed by Wangho asking who he came with.

“Just Siwoo and Jaehyuk. I’ve lost them now though.”

“Oh, I think I saw them in the kitchen with Minhyung,” Hyukkyu remarks, voice gentle as ever, reminding Jihoon of when the other used to tutor him that one time he was struggling with Calculus.

Jihoon follows the elder’s line of sight to the kitchen window but from where he’s standing, none of the occupants are visible.

“Thanks, hyung. I’ll look for them later,” he replies, looking back at him, “How are you, by the way? Haven’t seen you in a long while.”

“I’m good, been busy though. That’s the post-grad student life I guess.”

Jihoon chuckles in understanding. He’s had his fair share of a busy few weeks as an average undergraduate student, so he can only imagine how it has to be worse for post-graduates.

“We’re lucky he’s here tonight!” Minseok chimes in gleefully, eyes glancing back and forth between Hyukkyu and Jihoon before shifting his attention to the unidentified man a few seats down, who Jihoon notes hasn’t said a word since he got there, “But the true miracle is the fact that Sanghyeok hyung is here!”

The man, Sanghyeok, appears dumbfounded after being suddenly dragged into the conversation, spluttering indignantly for a while before managing to recover, “Yah! You’re the one who begged me to come.”

“Exactly!” interrupts Hyeonjun, smirking at the man, “We had to beg before you would even consider showing up.”

Laughter rings out around the table then, ending with Wangho quipping that he heard Hyeonjoon even had to personally go to Sanghyeok’s place to ask him to come.

“See if I show up again next time if this is the treatment I get,” Sanghyeok huffs. He looks down to his lap, an effort to hide his growing smile but Jihoon still catches it. His mind involuntarily conjures up the word cute.

Noticing his gaze, Minseok calls for his attention, “Oh, Jihoon hyung. This is Sanghyeok hyung. He’s a post-grad student also. He used to live here before I moved in though we’ve known him long before that.”

Sanghyeok bows when Jihoon looks at him again and he returns the gesture. He vaguely remembers now that it was Sanghyeok who had passed Minseok the house keys that one time they were having lunch at the cafeteria. No wonder he had seemed familiar.

“What are you doing standing up, come sit over here, hyung,” Hyeonjun calls out, gesturing for him to take the empty seat next to him, which happens to be directly across Sanghyeok.

Finding no reason to refuse, Jihoon moves to the vacant chair. It’s inevitable he thinks, that he would have to look across from him as he sits down. Hyeonjun has begun to relay a story that may have been interrupted earlier by his arrival, with everyone paying attention to him, including Sanghyeok. He may have felt Jihoon’s gaze however as he turns to glance at him, their eyes meeting briefly. Sanghyeok smiles softly but focuses back on Hyeonjun before Jihoon can reciprocate.

For the next hour, Jihoon tries his might to focus on whoever is talking and he too contributes once in a while to the conversation. He can’t help but find his attention straying to Sanghyeok every few minutes however. There is something about the man that strikes him. Is it the curve of his lips? The intense but not quite hard gaze when their eyes met earlier? Could it be the way his eyes crinkle when he laughs openly at Minseok’s joke? Or the calming presence he somehow exudes?

Whatever it is, Jihoon finds himself slowly getting hooked. Unfortunately, the man barely glances at him again aside from when Jihoon is talking. Sadly too, he does not seem to be much of a talker so Jihoon has no excuse to blatantly stare without being creepy.

“Oh shoot, hey Jihoon-ah. Siwoo was looking for you,” Hyeonjoon exclaims suddenly from next to him, “I forgot I came out here to tell you that.”

Jihoon gapes at him incredulously then. It’s probably been fifteen minutes since Hyeonjoon had joined the group, unceremoniously settling himself on Hyeonjun’s lap, who only grunts momentarily but didn’t complain. It’s no wonder he got distracted.

“That’s my cue then. It could only mean that Jaehyuk is drunk and Siwoo needs help dragging him home.”

Goodbyes are exchanged and Jihoon gets another bow from Sanghyeok and a soft smile before he finally leaves to search for his roommates.

Surprising even himself, Jihoon only thought about Sanghyeok the next morning fleetingly, specifically the sounds of his laughter and the fond look he sent towards his friends around the table, especially Minseok, Hyeonjun and Hyeonjoon.

Once Jaehyuk walked into the kitchen, groaning and looking half dead, Jihoon busied himself with pouring him a glass of water and sliding hangover pills towards him. Most thoughts of the night before immediately forgotten.

Two weeks later, filled with endless assignments and reading to be done, life goes on.

His shift at the café started about half an hour ago and he’s made only three drinks so far. This is why he insists that while he has to travel a fair bit to the café from campus, it’s the best place to work as it doesn’t have that many customers, at least not during his shifts in the evening, and since the owner is the best, the part-timers are allowed to study behind the counter if they are not busy.

The fact that it’s not near campus also means that the customers aren’t usually students of the university. Not that Jihoon is ashamed to be seen working at a café, definitely not. It’s just a bonus that he doesn’t have to make small talk with people who may recognise him or worse, have some first-years hogging the seats but not bothering to order more drinks just to ogle at him. Jihoon is aware that he’s quite handsome if he says so himself but he doesn’t need the attention or the never-ending giggles when he’s trying to focus on his reading.

It thus comes as a surprise when the bell by the door jingles signalling a customer and Jihoon peers behind the coffee machine to see none other than Sanghyeok entering, placing his wet umbrella in the umbrella holder by the door and attempting to dry his shoes on the mat beneath his feet.

Jihoon hadn’t even realised that it’s raining outside.

Only when Sanghyeok starts walking does Jihoon finally snap from his daze, immediately bookmarking his current position in the book he's reading and moving behind the counter, keeping his eyes on Sanghyeok who is still occupied with taking in the interior of the café and who hasn’t seemed to have noticed Jihoon yet.

When he finally does though, Jihoon doesn’t think he’s imagining it when he sees Sanghyeok falter slightly in his steps.

Jihoon gives him the obligatory customer service smile when Sanghyeok gets closer, unsure if he should greet the other personally but cowardice ultimately wins so he keeps it neutral, “Welcome. What can I get you?”

Finding themselves at a similar distance from two weeks ago but now in a significantly better lighting, Jihoon notices things that he’s missed before. There are dark circles beneath his eyes, as if he hasn’t had enough sleep the past few nights, which may really be the case, but yet it does not take away the fact that he still is mesmerizing to Jihoon. Whatever feels he found himself feeling that night at the party come rushing back.

Even more so when Sanghyeok returns his smile, making his order after momentarily reading the menu on the wall behind Jihoon.

“Coming right up,” Jihoon pronounces after Sanghyeok makes his payment. Jihoon’s thankful that Ruhan, the other part-timer, is taking a break at the back so no one’s around to comment if he seems to be extra chirpy.

As he prepares the order, Jihoon sees Sanghyeok take the seat by the window, a spot Jihoon himself would choose too if he were to enjoy his drink while looking at the rain splattering on the ground and observing people running in an attempt to find some kind of shelter.

Ruhan eventually comes out as Jihoon is readying to serve Sanghyeok his drink, wordlessly nodding and helping to put the milk away.

Sanghyeok shifts his attention away from the window when Jihoon is a few feet away from his table, slowly placing the hot mug in front of Sanghyeok.

“Enjoy your drink,” Jihoon mutters as he takes a slow step back, hugging the tray to his chest, then adds impulsively, “Sanghyeok-ssi.”

Jihoon notices something flicker in the elder’s expression as he’s turning around to get back to the counter, something he can’t quite read. Before he can get further though, Sanghyeok’s voice stops him in his track.

“Would you like to join me, Jihoon-ssi?”

Sanghyeok’s expression when Jihoon sees it again is easier to read this time, uncertain but slightly hopeful. Deciding that Ruhan can handle one or two customers on his own, Jihoon mumbles a quick sure and takes the seat across the other man.

“How long have you been working here?” Sanghyeok starts, taking a quick sip of his coffee before suddenly jolting and sitting up straight, “Oh my, where’s my manners? Do you want to get anything to drink? My treat, of course. Oh, but do you have to pay since you work here? What am I saying, of course you do. How will the café make money otherwise? But then what do I know, I’ve never run a business.”

Jihoon’s ensuing giggle must have been what finally stops Sanghyeok’s rambling, who tries but fails to cover his face with a hand, presumably embarrassed.

“I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at you hyung, just so you know,” Jihoon chuckles, endeared at the sight of Sanghyeok who still looks sheepish but thankfully does not appear offended, “You’re just too cute.”

Silence stretches between them then, Sanghyeok’s mouth slightly agape as he stares at Jihoon who mentally rewinds back in shock to the past few seconds because it definitely sounds like his brain to mouth filter is not functioning well. Or at all.

Two things stand out to him, only one he can rectify immediately. So, he gets to it.

“Oh, sorry, can I call you hyung? That was presumptuous of me. It slipped out.”

Well, that can be said for the other thing too at least, he thinks.

Sanghyeok leans back slightly but noticeably, as if Jihoon’s words had somehow physically pushed him, confusion marring his face, “Oh- ahh. Yes, of course. There’s no need to be so formal, you’re friends with Minseokkie and everyone else after all.”

The jingle at the door interrupts Jihoon from responding, followed by a couple entering the café. Ruhan is already standing by the counter when Jihoon glances over and when he meets Jihoon’s eyes, he shakes his head minutely and discretely makes a shoo-ing motion at him. Jihoon breathes a sigh of relief. He doesn’t feel like moving away just yet.

Sanghyeok must have seen the exchange too, grinning when Jihoon faces him again. He then clears his throat and takes another sip of his coffee, eyeing Jihoon expectantly over the rim of his mug.

“Ah right, you asked a question. A few, actually,” Jihoon teases, satisfied when Sanghyeok seems comfortable enough to roll his eyes at him, “I’ve been working here for around half a year now. It’s not close to campus but I like that it’s quieter here. My apartment’s halfway between here and campus so the commute’s not too bad at least. And if you really must know, the drinks are not free for us unfortunately but we do get discounts!”

Sanghyeok acknowledges Jihoon’s answer with an understanding hum and a nod and Jihoon immediately follows up with a question of his own. The next half an hour sees them answering and asking each other questions back and forth. Jihoon learns that Sanghyeok is doing his post-graduate course so he’ll have a higher chance of securing a job at a top game developer company, a dream of his since he was a barely a teenager. In return, Jihoon tells him honestly that he does not have much plans yet for the future, focusing only to get his degree for now. Sanghyeok’s lack of judgement or even unsolicited advice like how he should start researching for jobs suitable with his degree or trying for an internship, brings a rush of unexplained feelings towards the other man. Gratitude? Appreciation? Fondness? All of the above perhaps?

He had guessed it back then at the party that while he may look intimidating or unapproachable, that’s not all there is to Sanghyeok. He can’t say for sure about Hyeonjun and Minhyung but he knows Minseok and Hyeonjoon well enough to know that they don’t just literally beg anyone to come to their party and actually spend time with said person at the party. That person must be worth their time and effort. Their conversation now only confirms it. Sanghyeok is just reserved. Jihoon hasn’t gotten anywhere close to peeling all the layers of course but whatever he’s seen so far, he can’t say that he hates it.

The next customers that enter the café are a group of office workers, Jihoon doesn’t need to wait for Ruhan to signal for him to come help before he looks apologetically at Sanghyeok, who smiles in understanding, gesturing for him to go quickly.

More and more customers follow after that and things get hectic behind the counter. Jihoon’s about to greet the next customer in line when he notices Sanghyeok standing by the door, seemingly waiting for Jihoon to look his way. When it happens, he smiles and mouths I’m going to go. Jihoon nods and grins back, receiving a tiny wave from Sanghyeok in return before he leaves.

Later as they are closing and Jihoon is wiping the tables clean, Ruhan suddenly lets out a low whistle, “Hey, Jihoon-ah. I’d say you definitely have a chance with your crush. He left his umbrella here.”

The following couple of weeks, Sanghyeok stops by the café a few more times. Contrary to what Ruhan may think however, he did not purposely leave his umbrella at the café, judging by his surprise when Jihoon hands over the umbrella to him along with his order. He doesn’t seem to have even realised he’s lost his umbrella. Luckily for him, it hasn’t rained again since that day he was last at the café.

Just like the first time, Sanghyeok invites Jihoon to sit with him and they’ll talk for a while until either there’s more customers than Ruhan can handle alone or Sanghyeok has to cut his time at the café short, which usually happens after he gets a message notification on his phone, just like the last two times he was at the café. Jihoon lets himself sulk when that happens, Ruhan rubbing his shoulder wordlessly as he walks dejectedly back to his seat behind the counter.

It’s his off day today and it just so happens that his and his friends’ free time overlaps so they decided to congregate in Jihoon’s apartment. Hyeonjoon arrives last just as Minseok beats them at Mario Kart for the third time in a row.

“Hey guys, sorry I’m late. Had to wait for Sanghyeok hyung to drop something off for Hyeonjun at the house as no one else is home.”

At the mention of Sanghyeok’s name, Jihoon’s ears perk up but tries to appear nonchalant as the housemates converse.

“Hyung is alive and well then?” Minseok who came there straight from campus inquires as Hyeonjoon joins them at the couch. Siwoo snorts from where he’s seated on a bean bag, Jaehyuk sitting on the floor near him.

“Uh-huh. I haven’t seen him since the party and what do I get? A quick thank you for waiting and then he’s already saying he needs to rush back to the library to continue working on his paper.”

Minseok laughs, hugging his housemate from the side, “It’s not just you, hyung. I think only Hyeonjun sees him the most and that’s only because they’re in the same faculty.”

It works to console Hyeonjoon, even just a little bit as he grabs the snack closest to him, “I guess so.”

Before the topic inevitably change, Jihoon decides to take the plunge and casually wonders aloud, “Is he that um, reclusive that you barely get to see him at all?”

Abruptly, Minseok lets go of Hyeonjoon in order to turn towards Jihoon, looking at him intensely, “He’s not antisocial or impersonal if that’s what you’re getting at-“

“No, no of course not! That’s not what I mean,” Jihoon cuts in immediately, panic rising as even Hyeonjoon is glaring at him now, “I know he’s not. Just that, is he very busy?”

Thankfully, both Minseok and Hyeonjoon fully relax at his explanation, the latter continuing to snack and Minseok answering calmly as if he wasn't about to strangle Jihoon mere seconds before, “We think he just works way too hard. It shows of course, he’s always top of his class. But we try to get him out of his apartment or the library whenever we can. It doesn’t always work as you can guess.”

Jihoon hums in acknowledgement, deciding to not pursue the subject further. The revelation that Jihoon has seen Sanghyeok more times than any of his close friends, the ones he knows of at least, makes him giddy.

Sanghyeok’s apparently known to mostly spend his time in his apartment and the library but yet he’s taken the time to travel to the café that’s again, not near campus and honestly, the coffee isn’t that great either (Jihoon can only do so much with the beans they’re using). The first time may be a fluke but the subsequent visits must have meant something, right? Surely.

He’s lost in his own happy thoughts when another mention of Sanghyeok’s name brings him back to the conversation. Siwoo, who doesn’t know Sanghyeok personally but seems to at least have heard of him, decides that he too wants to know more.

“Is this the same Sanghyeok who’s dating Hyukkyu hyung?”

“Yes,” Minseok and Hyeonjoon answers simultaneously.

Instantly, Jihoon free falls from whatever high he was at.

Chapter Text

Just like any other person whose hopes and dreams have been crushed with just one word, Jihoon mopes for the rest of the weekend. He doesn’t even remember how he managed to get through the rest of their hangout session, only recalling giving his friends lousy excuse like he’s tired when asked why he looked glum.

He has no one but himself to blame. No one told him to go and fall for the post-graduate student who has his life planned before him, is independent and hardworking and who happens to also be very good looking. Surely someone must have already snatched the man before Jihoon can even think of it. He’s hardly lucky in these things.

For a fraction of second, he even considered blaming Minseok of all people. He’s the one who invited Jihoon to the party after all. He’s the reason Jihoon had even gone out to the backyard that night and most importantly, he’s the one who introduced him to Sanghyeok.

But alas, Jihoon’s an adult who can and will take responsibilities for his own actions, which in this case is developing feelings for someone unattainable. Even though it sucks.

Since that fateful night when he got his heart broken into a billion pieces, his mom raised a dramatic boy, sue him, Jihoon has worked three shifts at the café. Sanghyeok hasn’t made an appearance in any of them, which is very fortunate.

He had been fretting since before his first shift of the week started, antsy and tense because how can he face Sanghyeok now? Every time the café door opens, Jihoon would look up to the newcomers nervously, expecting a head full of fluffy hair that before this week he was dying to touch and locking with cat-like eyes hiding behind round glasses. By the second shift, Ruhan begins to notice but without even confirming with him, he’d only assumed that Jihoon’s just excited for his crush to come by. Which is furthest from the truth.

It’s his final shift of the week now, his favourite if he has to choose one. Thursday nights are always quieter than the rest, the patrons mainly consisting of couples in their late 20s and early 30s, finally finding time with each other after long hours at work. The younger regulars meanwhile he suspects are looking for more exciting endeavours and are haunting night clubs instead since the weekend is on the horizon.

It’s of course when Jihoon lets his guard down that Sanghyeok decided to show up. And barely a few minutes passed since Jihoon had offered to man the register as Ruhan had whined about having a bad day and that his social battery is getting low. Jihoon really has the worst luck.

Sanghyeok looks as captivating as the last time Jihoon saw him. He’s done something to his hair though, his forehead now showing and he’s not wearing his usual sweatshirt, opting instead for a navy bomber jacket that accentuates his shoulders. Jihoon doesn’t think he’d even made much of an effort at the house party weeks ago.

It’s as if tonight is a special night. A date night.

Blood drains from Jihoon’s face, immediately looking over the other’s shoulder expecting to see Hyukkyu.

No one’s behind him however. But Jihoon knows Hyukkyu owns a car, he’s likely looking for parking.

Jihoon barely has time to change his expression from horrified to more of a barely passing customer service approved look before Sanghyeok eventually stops across the counter from him.

“Hi, Jihoon-ah,” he greets innocently, smiling his usual smile, “How are you?”

“Hi. I’m good. What can I get you?”

If Sanghyeok finds his curter than usual answer strange, he doesn’t show it. “The usual please.”

“Sure,” Jihoon inhales deeply then, bracing himself, “Just one?”

Finally, a different expression morphs on Sanghyeok's face, puzzled and looking at Jihoon dubiously, “Yes, just one. Unless you want one too?”

The relief materializes stronger than the surprise by the offer of a drink, which thankfully seems to balance each other out, keeping his sanity intact, “No, it’s okay, thank you.”

Jihoon sees from the corner of his eyes Ruhan beginning to shuffle around, preparing Sanghyeok’s order as Jihoon hands him the receipt.

He then stares at Sanghyeok’s retreating back as he moves towards his usual table. He thinks neither Minseok nor Hyeonjoon will believe him if he tells them their beloved hyung has a usual spot at café he works at. It’s wild.

He shifts his gaze to the door again, still sceptical. Surely any second now a similarly dressed up Hyukkyu will enter, holding a rose he bought from the florist down the street. Maybe Sanghyeok wasn’t sure what his boyfriend would want to drink since he’s never been there before.

His trance is broken when Ruhan nudges his arm, “Hey, the drink’s ready.”

“Oh,” Jihoon looks back at Sanghyeok, whose attention is thankfully captured by whatever is going on outside the window. He can’t do it. “Can you serve it to him this time please?”

Ruhan gapes at him, shaking his head minutely as if attempting to comprehend that he heard Jihoon correctly.

“Are you sure?”

Jihoon nods.

Ruhan sighs but didn’t push further, quietly grabbing the tray and bringing it to Sanghyeok. Not wanting to witness the interaction, Jihoon slumps down on the nearby chair, hiding behind the large coffee machine. The textbook he was reading earlier is on the counter, pages still spread and Jihoon finds it welcoming, resting his forehead there and groaning slightly so not to be heard by anyone.

This is not how he expected his Thursday night to go. This is not how he expected his life to go. Again, why does he have to go and get a crush? He should’ve stayed and continued to chat with the hair-twirling girl that night at the party. Jisoo or was it Minjung? At least she had seemed interested.

He knows Ruhan’s back when he hears him place the tray back at the allotted space but Jihoon refuses to acknowledge him. That will invite questions. Questions he doesn’t know the answers to. It’s better to just let him think that Jihoon’s trying to channel the information from his book via osmosis to his brain.

“Are you avoiding him?”

Jihoon whimpers at his failed plan. Knowing Ruhan, he knows he won’t let the matter pass so he gives up any pretences and finally faces the other. As imagined, he’s standing a few feet away, arms crossed in front of his chest with a raised eyebrow.

“Kind of, I don’t know,” he eventually answers, rubbing the back of his neck with his right hand, “Did he say anything?”

“No. He definitely looks confused though, that’s for sure.”

Jihoon’s hand moves to cover his face now, groaning again, “I’m just going through some stuff at the moment.”

Ruhan finally lets his arms fall to the side, stance changing from confrontational to something akin to comforting, “Okay. Let me know if you want to talk about it.”

Jihoon mumbles out a thanks and turns back to his book. The thought that Sanghyeok is baffled by his behaviour makes guilt slowly creep out his spine. He imagines being in Sanghyeok’s shoes, of course he’d be confused by the welcome he’s receiving especially compared to the past weeks. Jihoon even bought him a banana muffin once for goodness’ sake.

Sanghyeok hasn’t actually done anything to Jihoon. Well perhaps it can be argued that he’s been sending the wrong signals to Jihoon but it’s just more likely that Jihoon has been reading them wrong. The post-grad student may just be hoping to find a new friend in Jihoon. God knows Minseok and Hyeonjun can be loud, so he sees the appeal.

And here Jihoon is wallowing in misery while Sanghyeok is probably wondering to himself if he’s said something wrong the last time he was here or if he’s somehow offended Jihoon. Gosh, Jihoon’s such a bad friend. Burying the conflicting feelings, he’ll get over it and hyping himself up, Jihoon shoots straight up and strides past a stunned Ruhan and heads over towards Sanghyeok.

It doesn’t take long for Sanghyeok to see him, lips curving tentatively as Jihoon gets closer.

“Hey hyung. Sorry, I was trying to finish a section of my book earlier,” he lies, hoping his smile doesn’t look too stiff.

Sanghyeok’s drink seems to be barely touched, Jihoon notes as he takes the seat across from the other man. The guilt resurges.

“Oh, I see. You’re free to sit here for a while then?”

Jihoon nods, finding himself unable to say no despite everything.

“Are you going anywhere after this hyung? You look g- different.” Jihoon pinches his thigh under the table. Was he really about to tell Sanghyeok that he looks good?

Sanghyeok looks down at his lap, a tell of his that shows that he is either becoming shy or is trying to hide his facial expressions. Jihoon is unsure what’s the case this time.

“I’m not,” Sanghyeok answers after a while, “Oh by the way, I saw Minseokkie at the cafeteria earlier. He said you guys hung out last weekend. Did you have fun?”

“Oh, yeah. I did.” Another lie.

“That’s good. Hyeonjoon invited me actually but I thought it was just them. Had I known-,” Sanghyeok pauses abruptly then, picking up his mug instead and taking a sip before continuing coolly, “I mean, I was busy, had a paper to submit.”

“Is it done now?”

“Yeah, finally submitted it this morning actually. Thought it’d be nice to celebrate after with a bibimbap from the cafeteria, which is when I saw Minseok.”

Jihoon hums, nodding along, “He might have just come out of his morning class then. Who else was there?”

“Hm there’s a guy I’ve never met before, Minseok calls him Hwanjoong I think. Minhyung was there too,” Sanghyeok recites, habitually attempting to fix his bangs but fingers finding bare forehead instead, “I was with Hyukkyu.”

Jihoon feels himself instantly going rigid. It takes all of his willpower to control his facial expression and to stay rooted where he is. Sanghyeok’s just casually pouring salt to the still fresh wound, like the guy that went viral a few years back. Meanwhile, Jihoon is wailing internally.

Oblivious to the turmoil within Jihoon, Sanghyeok resumes, “But anyway, you know how it rained a few hours ago? I misplaced my umbrella again so I got drenched when walking to the bus stop. Had to go home first, otherwise I would’ve come straight here.”

Jihoon coos, a feeble attempt to sympathize because if anyone needs sympathy, it’s him.

But it seems some semblance of luck may still be on his side as their conversation only lasts for another ten or so minutes, in which Jihoon makes a valiant effort to be mentally present and listen to Sanghyeok detailing the story of how he got close to Minseok and the rest of his housemates, as there’s suddenly a group of customers walking into the café.

Ruhan, bless him, didn’t bring up Sanghyeok for the remainder of the night, not even a quip on how Sanghyeok actually walked over to the counter to say goodbye this time as opposed to his usual wave by the door.

By Saturday morning, Jihoon has had enough of moping alone. He needs to vent and unleash all the pent-up feelings he’s been keeping inside. By doing this perhaps it’ll help him get over Sanghyeok sooner.

Siwoo and Jaehyuk, despite their proximity, aren’t an option. In fact, it is thanks to their living arrangement that makes Jihoon hesitate to tell them about Sanghyeok. He doesn’t want to get continuous pitying looks from either of them or random hugs out of nowhere. Coincidentally, both of them had been busy in the past week and Jihoon has been mostly sequestered in his room, gaming to take his mind off things, so his flatmates haven’t noticed him sulking.

Alternatively, there’s Ruhan. The guy had even offered to talk but he also knows too much. He’s witnessed Jihoon being flustered in front of Sanghyeok and the countless stolen glances when he’s back at the counter. The pitying looks he’ll receive from Ruhan will be worse than even Siwoo’s.

Minseok and Hyeonjoon are obviously out of the question. They may say something along the line of Ah it’s happened again, someone falling for our Sanghyeokkie hyung. We should’ve warned you Jihoonie. That’ll be mortifying.

What he needs is someone who doesn’t know anything, who aren’t in the same circle as Sanghyeok and his friends and who Jihoon is close enough with but doesn’t see often. Fortunately, Giin checks all the boxes.

“So, you’re telling me that this guy has been frequenting the café and you guys have been talking?”

“Yes, correct,” Jihoon confirms, pushing a napkin towards Giin who spilled a bit of his drink on his hand, “But just at the café. We don’t text or anything, I don’t have his number. I haven’t seen him around campus either.”

“Right. And he has a boyfriend?”

“That’s what I said, hyung. It’s why we’re here.”

Here is a café that’s in between their respective apartments that Jihoon had picked after Giin agreed to meet up when he asked earlier that morning. After the usual pleasantries and once their orders, paid by Jihoon, are served, he wasted no time to relay the full story to Giin who mainly listened silently, only interrupting a couple of times to confirm he heard Jihoon correctly.

“And now you’re upset, obviously and just want to let it all out to someone.”

“Exactly. And you’re that person, hyung.”

“Happy to lend a listening ear then Jihoon ah,” Giin smiles, lifting his drink up to his mouth, “Thanks for the drink. And the muffin.”

Jihoon just nods and sips his own drink, though as it’s a slightly warm day today, he opted for something cold instead, condensation already forming on the side of his cup. Despite Giin not saying much or offering comforting words, which he wasn’t expecting or needed anyway, actually vocalising everything has significantly managed to relief the burden off his shoulders.

It’s like a one-sided therapy session for the price of a flat white and a blueberry muffin.

The café they’re at is roughly the same size as the one he works at and the number of customers is quite minimal too. Based on Giin’s satisfied hum after every sip though, the coffee seems to be considerably better.

“Hyung, you’ve got crumbs on your face,” Jihoon breaks the comfortable silence, gesturing to his own right cheek.

Giin of course, proceeds to wipe the wrong side. Jihoon rolls his eyes, leaning forward to grab the napkin from the other man’s hand instead and proceeding to brush the crumbs off himself.

“There you go.”

“Thanks,” Giin chuckles sheepishly. His attention is then captured by a part of the café behind Jihoon, humming thoughtfully, “I have to say Jihoon ah, you should consider being a writer. By the way you described your Sanghyeok hyung, I feel like I can recognise him at first sight. Have you seen him irritated or simmering in, I don’t know, jealousy?”

Baffled by the weird shift in topic, Jihoon answers hesitantly, “Um no?”

Giin hums, “I see. Okay, cool.”

Before Jihoon can question his friend further, a figure materializes nearby and stops at the side of their table. Jihoon looks up to see a face he wasn’t expecting to see during the weekend, at a random café of all places. Sanghyeok’s back in his usual t-shirt and zip-up hoodie combo, hair fluffy which appears to have been made presentable by just his fingers. He still looks effortlessly perfect in Jihoon’s eyes.

“Hey Jihoon ah,” he greets, lips curving into a tiny smile, “Fancy seeing you on this side of the city.”

“I was thinking the same thing.”

It’s only at that point that Jihoon notices the takeaway coffee cup Sanghyeok has in his hands, fiddling and rotating it in his hands slowly, as if bothered by something.

“I live around here actually. I guess it never came up in our conversation,” Sanghyeok explains, shooting a quick glance towards Giin before looking at Jihoon again, “What brings you here?”

For the first time since Sanghyeok appears, Jihoon turns to Giin, who he has momentarily forgotten. His face looks impassive, gaze shifting back and forth between Sanghyeok and Jihoon.

“Just catching up with a friend. We haven’t seen each other in a while,” he finally answers, obviously not going to tell the truth. He gestures to Giin then, “This is Giin hyung, he goes to a different university, we went to the same high school. Giin hyung, this is Sanghyeok hyung.”

Sanghyeok finally fully turns his body towards Giin, bowing slightly with a smile, much like when they first met, “Nice to meet you Giin-ssi.”

“Oh, it’s a pleasure,” Giin comments, tone far from neutral. Gone is the impassiveness, replaced with something mischievous that makes adrenaline rush in Jihoon’s veins. He scrambles to think of something to say to Sanghyeok to stop whatever it is Giin is planning but thankfully Sanghyeok beats him to it.

“I’ll get going first then, wouldn’t want to interrupt further. See you around.”

As soon as Jihoon waves back and with a slight nod and smile towards Giin, Sanghyeok walks away.

After making sure the elder has exited the café, Jihoon was absolutely not checking him out, he turns back around to face Giin, who for some reason is smiling smugly.

“What?”

“Jihoon ah, my sweet summer child, have you considered asking him directly if he’s seeing anyone?”

Jihoon has not. He doesn’t plan to.

He contemplated the suggestion for hours before he finally fell asleep that night. Frustratingly, Giin refused to elaborate further and only cryptically urged him to just ask right before they parted.

There is no need to ask, is there? Both Minseok and Hyeonjoon had practically said so themselves and they are close with Sanghyeok, certified by the man himself. Why would both of them be mistaken? Heck, even Siwoo knows about it.

Furthermore, Sanghyeok seems to spend quite a lot of time with Hyukkyu. For one, they were both hanging out with their mutual friends at the party. Perhaps they arrived and even went home together. There is also at least one confirmed occasion that Sanghyeok spends time with Hyukkyu in campus too. Given that both must be busy with their post-graduate studies, that’s plenty enough times for Jihoon.

In all honesty though, Jihoon is simply scared of hearing the confirmation directly from Sanghyeok. It may be childish, sure but he never claimed to be a fully matured adult.

The next morning, sitting alone at the kitchen island while staring down at the empty bowl of cereal, an idea struck. It’s not exactly what Giin had in mind but it’s the next closest thing. It’s not the most conventional either and is admittedly convoluted but Jihoon thinks it’s absolutely brilliant. He grabs his phone, scrolling through his chats and finally finding the one he’s looking for quite further down. Before he has the time to think twice and change his mind, Jihoon quickly starts to type.

Jihoon

Hyung. This is random but are you seeing anyone right now?
Asking for a friend

There’s no immediate reply. It hasn’t even been read, which in fairness is to be expected on an early Sunday morning. Jihoon puts the phone back down on the counter, deciding to put the dishes away. But first, he makes sure his phone isn’t on silent. When even the sink is sparkly clean, there is still no notification on his phone.

Jihoon sighs, figuring he might as well tidy up the living room next. He’s in the middle of rearranging the bean bag neatly when his phone finally dings with a notification. Grabbing it off the table, Jihoon falls on the couch at lightning speed, quickly opening the messaging app.

Hyukkyu

That is definitely very random
We haven’t texted in a while and that’s the first thing you say to me?

Jihoon puts his face in his hand in shame for a few seconds but starts drafting because he is a man on a mission.

Jihoon

Sorry, hyung
So, are you?

Hyukkyu

Ah I was just joking. It’s my fault just as well, communication goes both ways
As for your question, I’m flattered but I’m afraid I have to disappoint your friend
I am seeing someone :)

Well, there you go. The answer to Giin’s proposed question.

Jihoon sprawls on the couch lifelessly, sending an ok, no worries back to Hyukkyu. He buries his face on the pillow he had just fluffed up minutes ago, wishing he can scream into it but he doesn’t want to accidentally wake his flatmates up.

When he eventually finds that he needs air, he turns his head sideway and stares at the blank TV screen. He breathes in deep, willing his body to relax and his mind to calm down. It- surprisingly works. The heartache he expected to feel doesn’t come. Sure, he’s not exactly happy but he’s not as dejected as he was last weekend.

Letting it all out with Giin must have really helped to finally lead him towards acceptance. The only way to go from here is up, isn’t it?

Another notification comes on his phone. Jihoon sluggishly opens the message.

Hyukkyu

I have a friend who’s single if your friend is interested ;)

Jihoon lets out a heavy sigh. He’ll think of a way to make it up to this hyung later, first for lying and most importantly for pathetically crushing on his boyfriend. For now though, Jihoon hopes he’ll forgive him for ignoring the message.

His shift at the café the next night is uneventful. Granted he spilled a bit of milk on the counter and may have almost made the wrong drink had it not been for Ruhan. Aside from that, everything else was normal. There was no Sanghyeok tonight either. It’s fine, it’s good that he didn’t come.

Jihoon is making his way to the bus stop, deliberating if he should stop by the food stall to get late night snacks on the way to his apartment, when he hears his name being called. At first, he thought it may be Ruhan, maybe he’s forgotten something but then he realises the voice sounds different.

“Jihoon!”

He turns to the direction it came from and to his shock, sees Sanghyeok jogging towards him. Jihoon could do nothing aside from freezing on the spot, thinking to himself does he not know the café’s closing time and watching as Sanghyeok nears.

“Oh, thank goodness,” he huffs, stopping a few feet away and catching his breath, “Thought I missed you. Thankfully I saw your friend and he told me you went this way.”

Jihoon looks over towards where Sanghyeok came from expecting to see Ruhan but no one’s around.

“The café’s closed, hyung,” he blurts, apropos of nothing.

Sanghyeok appears to have regain control of his breathing, hands no longer on his hips, “Yes, I know. I wanted to see you.”

“Oh.”

“Shall we go there?” he suggests, gesturing to somewhere behind him, “I saw a quiet spot we can sit and talk.”

Jihoon’s ensuing silence, in which he was just wondering what is going on, must have prompted Sanghyeok further, “If you’re free that is. Though I would really like to talk. Are you rushing home?”

Coming to his senses, Jihoon shakes his head, “No, I’m not. Let’s go hyung.”

The spot Sanghyeok leads them to is only a few blocks down the café but is not on his way when walking to and from the bus stop so the space is unfamiliar to him. It’s not quite a park, but close. There are a few benches around and the surrounding trees must be great at providing shade in the summer. Jihoon imagines it to be a great spot for office workers to have a quick lunch and for stay-at-home moms to gossip after dropping their kids off to school.

Neither Jihoon nor Sanghyeok break the silence in the few minutes it takes to get there. When they enter the gate, Sanghyeok pulls Jihoon by the sleeve of his hoodie to one of the benches. As they sit a few inches apart, Jihoon stares at the elder’s side profile. He’s looking everywhere but at Jihoon. Dare he say it, Sanghyeok seems nervous.

“What’s up, hyung?”

Sanghyeok finally faces him then, appearing more composed.

“I was just at the library with Hyukkyu,” he starts and Jihoon slowly regrets not coming up with an excuse earlier like a massive headache or missing Siwoo, “and he said something that bothers me.”

Dread fills him all of the sudden. He clearly did not think far ahead yesterday. Of course Hyukkyu would share everything with his boyfriend and that probably includes their text messages. It may even be in the context of someone else is interested in me but I only have my eyes on you.

And now Sanghyeok is mad that Jihoon was trying to set his boyfriend up with someone else.

At this point, saying he was rushing home because he misses Jaehyuk is more appealing than where this conversation is going.

Jihoon opens his mouth to explain himself but Sanghyeok raises a hand to stop him.

“I wasn’t sure initially but I checked online. Usually when someone says asking for a friend, they actually mean themselves,” Sanghyeok doesn’t meet his eyes as he continues on, “Are you interested in Hyukkyu?”

Wait, what?

The shock must be apparent on his face as Sanghyeok adds, “I mean you didn’t say who your friend was. So, I thought it could be you.”

Jihoon gapes, mind racing in confusion, “What, no. I wasn’t asking for myself.”

I wasn’t asking for anyone. He left this unsaid.

Sanghyeok’s shoulders marginally relax, Jihoon hadn’t even realise they were tense moments before.

“I’m sorry, hyung. I didn’t mean to set your boyfriend up with anyone, I didn’t know,” he lies. Jihoon feels like he’s been lying a lot lately. Perhaps he should use the excuse of Sanghyeok being a bad influence to help Jihoon get over him.

“M-my boyfriend?”

Jihoon nods slowly, unsure why Sanghyeok sounds taken aback. The conversation tonight is giving him a lot of whiplash, “Yes. Hyukkyu hyung.”

The groan is not something that he expected to come out of Sanghyeok who is now looking up at the starless sky. Jihoon waits patiently. There’s nothing else he’d like to say anyway.

“He’s not my boyfriend. I mean, he was but we aren’t together anymore. Haven’t been for six months now.”

He must be in a reality show with hidden cameras, Jihoon thinks. Surely at any point now Yoo Jaesuk is going to come out and tell him he’s being pranked.

“B-but Minseok and Hyeonjoon hyung said so,” he argues, not caring that he’s inadvertently outing himself for lying, “And Hyukkyu hyung said he’s seeing someone!”

Sanghyeok’s mouth opens slightly as realisation dawns on him.

“He is seeing someone but not me. We were only together for two months, I think? We mutually decided that we’re better off as friends, which as you know, we are. No bad feelings,” Sanghyeok prattles on, “I guess I must have forgotten to tell Minseok and Hyeonjoon but I’m sure I mentioned it to Hyeonjun. He probably didn’t think to tell them.”

Jihoon remains quiet. Thoughts swirling with disbelief, relief and most of all, joy. To think that he’s been pathetically suffering for nothing. Jihoon should never blame his luck ever again. It’s just him and his friends being dumb. But mostly him. Giin’s practically a genius, he thinks.

“So, is that why you’ve been distant the past week?”

There is no point denying it anymore. Jihoon is like an open book and Sanghyeok’s free to turn the pages however he wishes, so he just nods.

Sanghyeok hums and nudges his arm, urging Jihoon to look at him again, “Do you want to go out with me?”

“On a date?”

“Yes.”

“I would love to.” Jihoon has never responded faster.

Later as Sanghyeok walks Jihoon to the bus stop, he coyly asks, “By any chance, would you consider working at that café near my place? The coffee’s there much better.”