Chapter Text
Gyeong-seok first saw Hyun-ju covered in blood, in the middle of god-knows-where, kneeling by the finish line. There was a dead body bleeding out next to her. Behind her, another 90 corpses were getting cold.
She simply existed there, surrounded by death, and he thought she looked rather beautiful.
｡･ﾟﾟ･
In a dimly lit office at a city hall, Gyeong-seok sits behind a worn wooden desk, the weight of his uncertainty hanging in the air. The faint rustle of papers echoes in the silence as the clerk leans forward, a flicker of hope igniting in his chest.
“Cho Hyun-ju?” the employee asks. “Anything else? Date of birth, permanent residence?”
Gyeong-seok shakes his head, “No, sir, I only know her name.”
“And why are you here?”
He shakes his head, “To find her. I thought I made it pretty clear.”
There’s silence.
The clerks exchange glances, their faces etched with indifference. “You seem young, have you tried Facebook? Instagram?”
“I have, and nothing. That’s why I’m here. I- I thought I explained myself.”
There’s a hint of hopelessness in his voice. He wishes he could stress how important it is to him. How he spent every waking minute of his life thinking about her ever since he had left that god awful place.
“I’m sorry, but we can't find any records of her,” he replies, his tone flat, devoid of empathy.
Defeat settles over him like a shroud.
・゜゜・．
The first time they really spoke to each other was after the third game, both sweaty and scared, burdened by the lives that were lost right in front of them.
Gyeong-seok wanted to be casual about it. Instead, he said, very casually: “Thank you for saving my life.”
Her eyes shot back at him, wide and innocent. “You saved mine.”
“Thank you for standing there, then,” he clears his throat, pretending to be nonchalant. He wants to know more about her. He wants to know her favourite colour. Her favourite meal. Her life story.
She let out a choked laugh, “Standing is like, a basic human function.”
“You’re not going to let me thank you, are you?”
He tried to give her a polite smile, one that didn’t scream I’ve just watched people die in front of me.
For the first time, her expression eased. “You’re welcome, I guess.”
She rolled her eyes at him, biting back a laugh. The sight of it spread a rush of warmth in his chest.
.・゜゜・
He left the game with 356 million won and a broken heart. When the lights in the room turned pitch black, he was hoping for another chance to see Hyun-ju, and tell her something foolish like ‘Move in with me, let’s be alone together’.
Instead, he got overwhelmed by screams of other players and then a strong grip of guard’s hands on his body. He tried to scream, scream her name. Just to get one last confirmation that she’s alive.
As he felt his consciousness drift away, he thought of her. He blinked a few times, silently praying that they reunite soon, just so he could treat her right and perhaps make her happy.
She always had that Mona Lisa-esque smile, hesitant and skeptical, like she wasn’t quite sure if she deserved to be happy.
He hated that someone made her feel that way.
゜゜・
He woke up on the ground, in the middle of a secluded area on the northeast of Seoul.
He had a credit card in his back pocket but Hyun-ju was nowhere in sight.
Gyeong-seok switched his focus rather quickly, catching the first train home to change and run to his daughter. She waited for him, and he was able to pay for her treatment immediately.
Over the next few months, life rushed back into her pink cheeks, until they finally announced she was in remission.
They returned home. This time, he felt like there was someone missing.
.・゜゜・
He gets lost in it – the urge to find Hyun-ju is stronger than his common sense. In the most hopeless moments during his daughter’s treatment, he thought of her. Of how she’s doing. Maybe she got what she wanted – Thailand and her surgery. Maybe she’s better off without him.
But Gyeong-seok was a selfish man and he knew, deep down, that Hyun-ju was special. They had… something. He wasn’t in this alone. They shared moments in the games that single handedly convinced him that she could be the love of his life.
He stands in his kitchen, his heart racing as he picks up the phone, fingers trembling. The line connects, and he swallows hard, steeling himself for what he must say.
“Hello, is this the South Korean Embassy in Thailand?” His voice barely masks the desperation lurking beneath. “I’m looking for a woman… just a woman. Her name is Cho Hyun-ju.”
The voice on the other end responds with careful professionalism, asking for details, but he knows he has none to give. No address, no phone number, not even a photograph—he could offer a shitty painting but he knows they wouldn’t care. His heart aches with the memory of her laughter, the way her eyes sparkled under the bright cold lights of the dorm, the moments they shared there when no one else was looking.
“I… I understand you may not have records of her, but please, she means everything to me. I need to find her,” his voice quivers with urgency, bordering on pleading.
He was ready to beg.
“I'm sorry, sir. I understand that this seems to be a very, uh, personal matter for you. But without further information, I cannot assist you.”
He can almost hear the clock ticking away chances as he presses on, his heart racing. “But she told me she would go there, to Thailand. I can’t give you more details, but I know she’s out there. Please, anything you can do….” His words hang heavy in the air, charged with longing and desperation. “Or anything I could do.”
The embassy representative shifts, her voice calm yet distant as she reiterates the limitations of their resources. Then, she pauses, “You could try this one last thing.”
“Yes?”
“There’s this newspaper column. Uh, used by people who are looking for their loved ones, relatives. You write a note dedicated to someone, they print it out. She could read it, or not. I don’t think the success rate is high.”
He clenches the phone tighter, “Okay, wait, wait.”
He quickly grabs a pencil and a tissue, because it’s the best thing he can write on that’s available. “Can you tell me the name of the newspaper?”
The woman nods, “The Bangkok Post, I hope this works out for you.”
｡･ﾟﾟ･
He couldn’t fall asleep after the last game. He turned on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, traumatizing memories racing in his mind. It’s then that he heard it– a soft sound slicing through the silence. He turns his head, straining to listen.
The muffled sobs resonate through the room, familiar and piercing. It was her.
Without thinking, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and quietly got up, his heart pounding in his chest.
Hyun-ju’s bed was not far away, only a few people slept between them. He slipped behind her, careful not to startle her as she sat away from him. She looked small and vulnerable, and something stirred within him.
“Hey…” he whispered gently, making sure to keep his voice low, not wanting to break the fragile atmosphere that surrounded her. She turned, her eyes wide and surprised, and for a moment, he felt a flutter of hope that he might be able to comfort her.
“Sorry,” she exhaled, wiping her face. “Did I wake you up?”
“I couldn’t fall asleep,” he admitted. “Do you want company?” he asked, positioning himself beside her on the bed.
He kept a respectful distance, careful not to overstep.
She hesitated but then nodded slightly, her expression softening as she wiped her eyes. “Yeah, I guess.”
“Tough day?”
“You think?” she raised her brows, a pitiful smile on her lips.
Delicately, he brushed his fingers against her back. She flinched at the contact but eventually relaxed into his touch, letting him rest his hand around her waist.
“You’re not like the other guys,” she thought out loud after a moment of silence.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, men here,” she started, her voice full of disgust. “They’re assholes.”
“I’m trying my best not to be one.”
She laughed quietly, “I appreciate that.”
They stayed like that for a few minutes, just taking in each other’s presence. Moments later, she gently dropped her head on his shoulder, letting herself rest against his body.
Panic squeezed at his chest.
“It can get a bit lonely here,” he blurted out. Pathetic.
He wasn’t even sure why he said that.
Instead of a response, Hyun-ju reached her hand out, hoping for him to grab it. He glanced at her open palm, trying to think of other reasons why she would do that. When he couldn’t think of anything, he surrendered, and gently placed his hand on top of hers.
The silence around them was deafening. He was sure that she must hear his heart beating out of his chest.
When she intertwined their fingers together, she tilted her head up to look at him, "Don’t die tomorrow.”
She said it with such sincerity in her voice that he thought he might break.
｡･ﾟﾟ･
To: Hyun-ju
From: Gyeong-seok
I don’t even know why I’m trying this. But if you’re out there, can you let me know? I hope Thailand’s good to you. You deserve it.
I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.
｡･ﾟﾟ･
His note in the newspaper seems to bring no luck and he suddenly feels levels of despair he hasn’t ever since he left the games. He pushes those feelings down, focusing on Na-yeon’s first day of kindergarten.
At least he has her.
When she lets go of his hand, slipping away to run to her classroom, the emptiness returns.
The warm sun casts a golden hue around him, but his heart feels heavy just thinking about Hyun-ju and what life she built for herself without him.
He wonders if she sometimes thinks about him too.
Perhaps even fondly.
He paces back and forth, running possibilities through his mind. She could be in another country, maybe not even in Thailand.
Who should he sell his soul to to find her again?
He's pretty sure he's stupid enough to actually do it.
A gentle breeze brushes against his face, and he closes his eyes, picturing her looking at him.
He remembers the conversation they had after they woke up in each other’s arms for the first time.
.・゜゜・
As he blinked away the remnants of his shitty sleep, he found her nestled comfortably in his arms, her hair cascading across his chest.
For a moment, he simply watched her, captivated by the way her lashes rested softly against her cheeks. In that peaceful expression, she looked utterly serene, as if they weren’t waking up to another round of deadly games. His heart swelled with affection—a feeling he hasn’t felt in a long time.
Gently, he brushed a strand of hair away from her face, marveling at how everything about her felt right– her soft breathing, the way her smile brought light into the room, even in sleep, even in here.
It hit him right then and there.
He was falling in love.
People around him were dying and he was falling in love.
Then, with a soft sigh, Hyun-ju stirred, her eyes fluttering open to meet his gaze. A confused frown appeared on her face, and in that instant, time stopped once more. "Did I fall asleep?" she murmured, her voice still heavy.
“Yeah, sorry, I should have left–” he mumbled, trying to get up under her weight.
She placed her palm firmly on his chest, prompting him to not go anywhere. “No, it’s okay. Stay. Please.”
He would stay forever if she asked.
“Alright, I’ll stay.”
A soft smile appeared on her lips as she looked up at him. He was glad that he was not standing because he was quite certain his knees would buckle if she looked at him like that again.
He chuckled lightly as he shook his head, not breaking their eye contact, “Not going anywhere.”
The air seemed to shimmer with unspoken words, all the hopes and dreams that lingered between.
She dropped her head again, letting herself rest on his chest. Painfully slowly, she brushed her hand down, flexing her fingers on his lower ribcage. “So, another game today-”
“I was just thinking…” he hesitated, weighing his words carefully, “Be careful. I know you can take care of yourself but… You deserve to live so, yeah…”
The sincerity in his voice hung in the air, despite his stuttering.
“You don’t want me to die, huh?” she asked, almost teasingly.
“Well, duh,” he laughed, looking directly at the bunk bed above them.
“Would you be sad if I died?”
He didn’t even hesitate to answer, “Absolutely devastated.”
She let out a chuckle, “Then don’t let me.”
“Let you do what?”
“Die.”
･ﾟﾟ･｡
As they walked up the colourful staircase, Danube Waltz blasting over the speakers, he intended to keep his promise.