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Rook flung her legs off the side of the chaise lounge and slammed her feet onto the ground. Sleep obviously wasn't coming tonight, and she was just wasting time laying there pretending that it would.
She wasn't meant to be here, to lead this team, this fight. It should've been Varric, and she knew it deep in her bones no matter how many encouraging platitudes he offered from his sick bed. She was just a Crow, and barely a good one at that. Everything she touched turned to shit.
Okay, stop stop stop stop. She was spiraling. She needed something to distract herself.
Leftovers, she thought, rubbing the exhaustion from her eyes and plodding towards the door. Leftover cake. That would make her feel better. She padded gently down the hall towards the library, silently cursing her companions who were sleeping peacefully in their own rooms.
As she entered the cavernous library, she heard a sharp squeak and the clap of a book slamming shut, and she whirled over her shoulder towards the noise.
"Oh! Rook! I didn't expect anyone to be up."
She forced her muscles to unclench. "Bellara."
The elf swayed on her feet, clutching a book to her chest and averting her eyes. "I was just going through some of the books. I thought maybe there would be something that could help with the gods, but I haven't found anything. Yet." She frowned and slowly sank down onto the couch. "Maybe there isn't anything though. It starts to feel a little hopeless, y'know?"
She didn't know what to say to that. Varric would—she bet even fucking Viago would—but they weren't here right now; she was, and Bellara was looking up at her like she was the only one who could solve her problems. She wasn't fucking equipped for this. The only thing that ever made her feel better was, well…
"Uh. I was going to go see if there was any cake left. Want to come with me?"
"Gods, yes!" Bellara jumped up and clapped her hands together with more energy than Rook had ever possessed in her entire life.
"Right. Let's go then." When she started moving again, it felt like her body was dustier and creakier than Manfred's. Maker, she needed some sleep.
The two of them made their way outside—Bellara practically bouncing while every stiff step Rook took felt like a battle in itself—and into the kitchen. She had been expecting the room to be cold and dark, but to her surprise a low fire was burning. She squinted, trying to make sense of—
"Neve!" Bellara burst forward with glee, sprinting towards the table and stopping a respectful two paces back with her hands clasped tightly in front of her. "What are you working on?"
Neve looked as tired as Rook felt. Her eyes moved from one recent arrival to the other as Rook slowly made her way up and slumped into one of the chairs at the table.
"Looking for cake," Rook said in response to the unasked question she saw in the detective's gaze. She pressed her fingers into her own eyes.
Neve nodded. "I…wasn't expecting anyone else to be awake at this hour."
"Oh! I was just reading," Bellara said, dancing around the chair closest to Neve so she could squeeze in and sit down. She leaned her forearms on the table and wiggled around to face Rook. "And Rook, um—"
"Rook has insomnia," she interjected, her hands falling from her face to lay limply in her lap. She tried to offer a smile, but based on the expressions on the other women's faces, it was probably more of a grimace.
"Right. Well. I'm just going over case notes," she shuffled a few pages around on the table. "Not that I'm making much progress, but—"
The pantry door creaked open and Lucanis peered out. "I heard voices."
"Sorry," Rook began, but he waved her off, already moving towards the table.
"You know I don't sleep." He leaned against the wall and folded his arms, looking down at her. "I know you don't either, but you don't usually make it all the way over here."
She was running out of words. "Cake."
She barely saw him move before he was back, setting a piece in front of each of them and then lowering himself into the chair across from her with a waiting smile.
Her first bite confirmed it had been worth getting out of bed and trekking across the lighthouse for. Maybe cake couldn't cure her insomnia or help them defeat the gods, and maybe Rook was a shitty leader who didn't know how to help her team, but as she looked around the table—Neve listening raptly to Bellara's animated chatter, taking small bites while nodding along; Bellara's cake untouched, but her face radiating sheer joy as she talked; and Lucanis, quietly gazing across the table at her while she ate, smile lines just barely crinkling around his tired eyes—she started to feel like maybe things weren't all that bad. Maybe things could work out all on their own.