Work Text:
Eliot reached past Parker to grab his jacket from the back of the couch. Parker sniffed quickly, then again deeply; she yanked Eliot forward by his shirt and buried her nose against his neck.
"Um," Hardison said. Eliot's grumpy face was sort of epic, and it made Hardison want to pinch his cheeks and also put on an Iron Man suit to protect his manhood.
To be fair, Hardison also wanted to put on an Iron Man suit all of the times. All of them.
"Parker, what the hell," Eliot growled. He was bent over the couch awkwardly.
Parker kept sniffing at him like a drug dog hunting for a stash. "You smell like cookies. Why do you smell like cookies?"
"C'mon, Parker," Hardison said. "Eliot always smells delicious."
Eliot stared at him like he was trying to develop laser eyes so he could kill Hardison with his brain. Then Parker sniffed him some more and he nearly went cross-eyed trying to be grumpy at them both.
Nate put his drink down on the breakfast bar and said, "That's my cue to leave."
"Eliot smells delicious?" Sophie asked, practically purring. "Do tell me more."
"Our cue to leave," Nate said, taking Sophie's arm and steering her out of the office.
"Oh, must we?"
"Do you really want to be here when Eliot starts destroying property?" Nate asked.
"Well, these Louboutins are new," Sophie said as they left the apartment.
"I don't even know why Nate thinks you're going to destroy property," Hardison said, as if they all weren't aware that Nate and Sophie were taking this as an excuse to go on a stealth date. "We're just having a friendly conversation, here."
"I don't smell delicious!" Eliot snapped. "And stop sniffing me, Parker!"
Parker reared back and narrowed her eyes. "Fine."
"Fine," Eliot said.
"We are all so fine," Hardison agreed.
"Yeah," Parker said, and then tilted her head. "What?"
Eliot put on his coat and stomped out the door.
"Are we really doing this?" Hardison asked maybe three hours later as Parker broke into Eliot's apartment building. Eliot's cell phone GPS said he was at some fancy ass brew pub with a tasting menu, probably eating things that Hardison was afraid to look up on Google images.
Parker stopped what she was doing and stared at him unflinchingly. "Eliot made cookies. I want cookies."
"You do know that you can exchange money for cookies. People do it all the time," Hardison said.
"I like money," Parker said.
Hardison raised his eyebrows. "More than cookies?"
"I want both."
Hardison couldn't argue with that, so he shrugged and said, "The heart wants what it wants."
It didn't take long to get inside; Parker did have mad skills, but Eliot mostly relied on himself as a form of security. And considering that Hardison really would rather disable an alarm system than attempt disabling Eliot, it was pretty effective.
"This way," Parker whispered, and followed her nose to the kitchen. Where the cookies were. Racks and racks of cookies.
Hardison and Parker both had shoved multiple cookies in their mouths when the overhead light came on suddenly.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Eliot asked.
"Um," Hardison said, his voice muffled by deliciousness.
Eliot stepped into the kitchen and crossed his arms. He was barefoot, wearing pajamas, and rocking some bed head, and it was adorably terrifying.
Parker gestured at the cookies angrily, and said, "Mmf!"
Eliot smirked. "Well, maybe you should ask yourselves: did I make almond cookies, or did I lace sugar cookies with cyanide?"
"Pfft," Parker said, spraying cookie bits on Eliot's kitchen floor. "Totally almond cookies."
Hardison gestured with the cookies in his hands. "Please. Sugar cookies have a different consistency, and I am a cookie connoisseur. Did you think I wouldn't know the difference? You should be ashamed of yourself."
And besides, Eliot wouldn't use poison. It was too slow and definitely not as much fun as punching people in the face repeatedly.
"What are you doing here, anyway?" Hardison asked. "You're supposed to be out eating, like, lamb tartare and parsnip custard."
"Parker showed me how to do a thing with one of your stupid programs," Eliot said, wiggling his fingers vaguely. "Fake my location."
"Oh, yeah," Parker said, nodding.
Betrayed, Hardison wheeled on her and said, "Girl."
Eliot jerked his chin at the counter. "Snickerdoodles are in the tin."
Parker squealed and actually clapped her hands. "I love Snickerdoodles!"
"Ginger Snaps?" Hardison asked hopefully.
"Underneath the Snickerdoodles," Eliot said.
"Milk?"
Eliot stared at him. "Do you want me to make a suggestion as to what you can do with that request?"
Hardison made a noise that he later would refuse to acknowledge. "Coffee? I can make coffee. There's your coffee machine. I'll do that. Right now."
"I like coffee," Parker said and put three whole Snickerdoodles in her mouth.